Is it worth it?

No.

It was never worth it, in the end.

Tacodor should have just torrented Premiere.

Even Councilman 3's got it by now, damn.

Yes.

Is it safe?

for those of you thinking of typing it in your address bar, let me give you some advice from my own personal experience:

gopher://gopher.kacw.org is not a website.

The protocol gopher: isn't recognised. There's a patch for it.

firefox does gopher out of the box. holy shit? Firefox does gopher? people still use gopher? W T F?

gopher://gopher.floodgap.com/

bloody hell

Sometimes old nerds get nostalgic.

Never get Robert Downey Junior's cousin to edit your advertisement.

A...alright...

Philippe and The Planet:
A Tragedy in Five Acts

Music by Holst.

Mars, bringer of confectionery snacks.

hymen? psychobilly? Gopher? 3rd rate graphics? weird ass ethinc sounding street names? "NO SYSTEM?" CLICK CLICK TAP TAP???? That Teodor character????

Onstad is trying to capture the essence of fingernails on a chalk board every which way possible. Achewood is L'Ecume Des Jours, with spunk. I get it now. I finally get it.

The use of "hymen" as a verb confuses me. To me the verb would mean "to cover with a thin mucous membrane." But man, that doesn't even make sense in this context.

The purpose of a hymen, ultimately, is to break.

The fellow with the self-applied cognomen of "Yojimbo" who admits to having butchered Mozart's Turkish March seems to be asking Teador not to break his ass.

It seems rather like rhyming slang.
Without the rhyming.

I don't think that hymen has a "purpose."

Was Yojimbo the model for the hull?

Yojimbo was the model for A Fistful of Dollars.

Yes. Yes it was.

Yo, Jimbo

Ah, gopher. How I loved thee, let me count the ways.

This is pretty much how I feel every time I play Mass Effect. I'm like "I want to go down to that planet" and it's like "here's some historical facts: you can't go down to this planet, fuck you".

Then the Xbox explodes and I get yelled at by my parrot who DOES NOT LIKE bananas or crackers but does like steak and potatoes.

basic parrot mechanics.

Yojimbo... I actually have a VHS copy of that movie. crazy movie. Now that I think about it, elements of this strip seem to be inspired by that movie.

Ronda Alla Turca, not to be confused with Blue Rondo a la Turk, but definitely to be confusing when pyschobilly is added.

Oh and hey, why is Philippe still in his little massive man attire if he's still really shined off at Ray?

i figured that despite thinking ray had been an applesauce-type friend, philippe still considers him to be the pinnacle of successful dudes.

also, what would be worse than being beaten at your own game by a five-year-old otter version of yourself?

Truth.

tacodoor and philippe are like the minor threat of useless fine product catalogs.

They are a threat yes...THEY ARE GOING TO BLOW THEN OUT OF THE WATER!

The problem is clear. The wanna-be samurai dude dropped Philippe on Europa by accident. Never piss off the monolith makers. "Philippe is full of stars."

"The little guy's hollow, he goes on forever... and... oh my God... HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOY!"

Rondo alla Turca was my favorite song in Donkey Conga.

I would pay a reasonable amount of money to hear it rearranged in such a manner, and then have to play a bongo styled peripheral game controller along to the beat.

I prefer Brubeck's Blue Rondo a la Turk. Paul Desmond's Alto break is sweet.

However, he can stick the soprano up Kenny G's ass (only Coltrane can make it sound decent).