This describes my life right now better than a thousand monkeys typing a thousand emoticons.

You can see the back of the seat through Teodor's head. Not the case with Roast Beef! He has something else entirely going on over there.

In this case I perceive Onstad experimenting with different graphics effects on the computer more than I perceive any sort of deliberate use of symbolism.

nothing is more motivating to an artist than to see a dude with 4 t's in his name using a superiority-implying ellipsis while making the comment that his work has declined in value and quality. I checked.

I gave this statement much consideration. Eventually I had to concede that at least thousand distinct emoticons probably do exist by now. This made me sad.

If you can't express an emotion by an emoticon, you simply weren't meant to feel it.

you know what pisses me off... word processors and message boards and instant messenger apps that change your emoticon into a graphical smiley face. The English language is being dessicated by a new generation of programmers and the fools who abide by such heretical programs. Fuck smiley faces, and fuck GUIs. Taking away the IMG tag is the best thing Assetbar ever did.

I agree with you 99%. I am also a fan of GUIs, particularly Gnome. I always wonder (and by always I mean once when I was stoned) what would happen if two different IM clients used different pictures for the same emoticon. I could be presenting myself as sarcastic and my friend could be seeing an angry face, for example. Kind of like schizophrenia.

i googled your mom's merkin.

(it was gross)

Eyes full of horror, fist full of merkin.

Mal Jovi

"Fuck You Friday"? Strange intro to a RBeef nightmare, but that's my best guess.

F - Y - F = -Y

The recent earthquake in Chile altered the length of a terrestrial day and changed the earth's orbit, yet pi remains constant.
Oh pi, are there any women as constant, yet flaky tender as you?


Answer: YES! EMPIRICALLY!

That is obviously the only thing I meant for anyone to take away from that comment, yes.

I am always wearing them. I am wearing them so hard.

Imagine how surprised dudes were when they finally managed to get the stockings off their dates only to find a sickening mess of gore.

well...at least Fuck You Friday is back...?

What is it with Chris and merkins? That's the second time I've seen them mentioned in Achewood recently, and they're not generally objects I see mentioned more often than never.

Perhaps he is in the pocket of Big Wig?

This is what happens when you fly on "A Merkin" Airlines.

Their planes are notorious for nose-diving.

They face steep competition from Aer Lingus.

Fuck.

Virgin Airlines is pretty much good as is?

no wonder roast befes still married molly despite alla troubles they got

he goes down easily and often!

my bad yall i been kinda sick

I legit hope there is not a follow up to this. There is no way adding to it or giving it context will improve it.

Earlier today, I was at a red light waiting to turn left after an exhausting trip to buy all the shit I need to bring back to school. The light turns green -- I hit the gas. About 3 feet into the intersection a very ugly woman in the non-turning lane to my right cuts straight across my lane and turned left. The two cars behind me were quick enough to brake, but my car could have been owned.

I have never been a mild-tempered person when driving. I chased the woman's shitty gold Honda with my shitty red Hyundai down 3 blocks to the next red light. I pulled up next to her, and motioned for her to roll down her window.
The woman apparently had no idea she cut me off, she rolled it down.

I shouted: "Excuse me, do you know what day it is?"

"Er...it's Friday?" the ugly woman quipped.

"Yes it is. FUCK YOU!"
The "fuck you" was shouted quite loudly. I don't mean this in like a Nice Pete way, but I was really angry and am a loud person in general.
I rolled up my window intending to speed away in victory when I noticed the light was still red and there were 2 cars in front of me. The ugly woman was still staring at me. She may have been shouting too.

I waited approximately 20 seconds in this awkward position, the light changed, and I realized my lane was moving slower than hers. She passed me while showing me her favorite finger.

I drove home and decided I needed to share my Fuck You Friday moment.

A year ago, some young and pretty woman in a Porsche Boxster did the same thing to me entering a mall, except she was in the right-turn-only lane and I was going straight.

I had enough time to consider not putting on the brakes and just T-boning her. If she survived, the accident would have been her fault, and I'd get a new car. The kid had spilled some milk that got under the carpet, so that really would have killed two birds with one stone.

But in the second-tenth of a second, as the pretty woman laid rubber across my path, survival instinct kicked in and I hit the brakes.

I still regret it.


- now taking applications for "...that I T-boned?" and "laid rubber" jokes. No more bird jokes will be accepted.

You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife. -2PAC
You wife to a player but I fucked your claim. -Allstate

Fuck you Achewood. Fuck continuity, fuck story arcs, fuck Roast Beef in his god-damned depressed little arteries. He wanted to die, he knows this is how it has to end. Inhale those fake pubes SUCK THEM IN. This is dying, this is FRIDAY.

Businessmen don't have the same morals as me faggot.

Just stop encouraging him to work this into continuity. This is a brilliant stand alone strip. Achewood is at it's best when Onstad isn't holding your stupid mucous covered hand and leading you on a god damn tour of the enchanted wonderland.

mucos covered hand... enchanted wonderland."

so you wrote that and still didn't make it into a poem. okay

just the encouragement
let this one stand alone,
on its own--brilliantly.
let this one stay outside
the borders of continuity
onstad works his best
at his own behest.
he alone wears
he aint the wicked witch--
of the west
this aint oz
he aint george lucas
he doesnt needa hold ya hand
(which is covered in mucus)
and lead you through
an enchanted (goddamn) wonderland

emeril says bam