Asleep Style

Asleep Style 02/04/2003 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Have you ever heard of Asleep Doggy Style, it is ALMOST impossible.

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This is like Schr�dinger's sex position. (Both in its paradoxical nature and in that it was common knowledge that he was a big fan of asleep style)

Ha ha ha! "On a macro scale, climax cannot occur both consciously and not simultaneously."

This is currently at 69 chubbies.

Nobody fucking change that.

i give the chubby that should go to donsoze to you, in order to preserve the synergy

Oh...sorry...I chubbied the comment before reading yours. Damn, chump move.

so it's like you have a wet dream, but your lady causes it by touching you all light like a feather wielded by a butterfly.

that is pretty much the best metaphor ever invented by a human being.

Why has this been lamed? I think it's a perfectly appropriate example of strip-referencing.

Who knows, man. Who knows.

man i am pretty sure that the lady would just start, and about five seconds into it realize she is in a bad state in her life and leave the dude who proposed doin' it asleep style

dogg on the dictionary of weird things women are willing to do if you ask nicely asleep sex is like a grade E kink

I don't know what that means.

Is that like very kinky or not very kinky?

Who knows, man. Who knows.

(wow, this works for everything)

Some ladies are willing to do asleep-style blowjobs. I know of this for a fact.

The thing about that though is that you do not usually stay asleep.

not usually. and the worst part is when you wake up and are busting to pee.

As someone who sleeps very soundly and has occasionally had a partner try to rouse them with some additional incentive allow me to relate this: the longer it takes you to wake up, regardless of your personal condition and how unrelated your sleepfulness may be, the greater the chance that you will simply be punched very, very hard in the junk and she will sulk and glare at you all day while not telling you why.

As a woman, I can say that this is very true. If you're a dude and your lady is sulky, perhaps you need more work on your sleep-style moves.

"C'mon baby, I'm not saying your blowjobs aren't rad. You know I've got problems waking up. I mean, it would be seven layers of awesome to be having one right now-- why are you hitting me even harder!"

Holding against a man the things his body does involuntarily is just not at all right. Men's bodies seem to actively hate us most of the time. Sometimes I think we've evolved this way because our bodies really want us to be sleeping out in the yard under a musty old tarp almost every night.

asleep style is truly for the elite

The last 3 panels are so awesome.

that's a perfect phrase.

alt: "Have you ever heard of Asleep Doggy Style, it is ALMOST impossible."

I love how its ALMOST impossible. I mean what do you have to do to make it possible?

Be able to sleep while balancing erect (punny haha) on your knees or feet.

My feeling is that you would have to fall asleep on a soft box-shaped futon or such as that

One of these.

[IMGS OFF]

I have noticed that my dreams sometimes incorporate things that happen to me while I am sleeping if they don't quite wake me up. This seems like one of those things.

that's the one I always show the uninitiated when proselityzing for achewood. but so their entusiasm gets a little curbing I proceed to show them Te�dor's schbling next.

So, is there a Coma Style or Epileptic Seizure style? The doors are wide open, here.

yes.

i don't want to talk about it.

I bet you do really.

Well when you're ready...

we're here for you Wae.

Have you heard of Terry Schiavo style.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU.

This made no sense to me.

Girls are also capable of receiving oral sex.

... Closefriend is male, apparently.

Men have died while having women sit on their faces.

Oh, right. I confused recipient and deliverer.

Must have been pretty big women, though. I mean, I understand getting caught up in the passion of the moment and everything. But honestly, if you're dying, you'd still probably let breathing take priority.

if you ain't put your spine in danger you ain't done it right.

i second that.
oh and asleep sex is fun. until they wake up and catch you :(

Either two people took that the wrong way or the right way. I am undecided.

I wanted to chubby this so bad, but I was out. Too many chubby-worthy posts on this page :(

Asleep Style is a beautiful mystery, like Stonehenge, or Waterhenge, or all those henges, placed in their respective locations with the exact delicacy it takes to get one's Asleep Style on.

For some reason, this comment makes Eddie Izzard pop into my head, where he starts talking about henges.

I don't know if my boyfriend has actually ever read this strip but he is a little bit obsessed with Asleep Style.

Did you know that asleep style is a real thing
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18983641/

I have seen that.

One time as a "joke" on my drunken asleep Dutch friend a girl pretended to be all romancing him.

The joke was on her when he grabbed her by the hips and manhandled her onto his pelvis, all without waking up.

Seriously, your body is programmed to get it on, what did she expect?

that is terrifying

I agree.

My god! It could have been any one of us!

Sleep rape, bro.

'But, members of the Jury, it was all a dream! ...To me, at least.'

that article isn't up anymore and I am so sad about it

Sure it is, try again

This guy is the modern day master of the pregnant pause. (exhibit A: panel 7)

exactly what I thought. Ray looks like he's thinking about it so hard, too.

Other good styles: the Ghost; the Abe Lincoln.

http://citypages.com/databank/28/1384/article15537.asp

You know Achewood is your favorite thing when you see this Savage Love and basically read the first sentence and then run back to read the comic rather than reading the rest of the letter.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=241517

An updated link and props for Savage Love.

Savage love, man. I live in Vancouver, and we're all so chill about it. Sitting on the bus, reading the sex advice column. Except once, I was reading it, and I read a letter my aunt had sent in. She used her first initial and her last name, and I have a distinctive last name, and I just started freaking out.

Savage Love is the best part of the Georgia Straight, hands down. Hooray Vancouver.

But... your aunt? Nobody wants to know their auntie's kink. Unless their kink is their auntie.

Unless, of course, you mean Vancouver, Washington, and not Vancouver, B.C., in which case, I curse Captain Vancouver and all the cities named after him.

Vancouver, Washington is a terrible little shit town. You are a crazy person. Go to a dungeon. Seriously, though, it's awesome that there is an Achewood fan in my city. Kind of a weird feeling, though.

It is definitely a weird feeling. You could be the person sitting next to me on the bus, or the person standing in line to behind me to buy ridiculously overpriced coffee. It's kind of a paranoid feeling, now that I think about it.

Let's agree never to meet one another. I'm scared.

Yes.

This was the strip that hooked me.

It's the Zen of sex.

ray's silent face of contemplation really got me.

i have done this in reverse.

i forgot to wipe her stomach off afterward.

when she woke up, she punched me awake.

it seemed like a fair trade.

You are so creepy, it's sorta hot.

Never was a poster more aptly named than "molesticide".

You know it's not supposed to go in her navel, do you

I woke up one morning and the girl I was sleeping with asked me if I slept well. After fifteen minutes of trying to prompt me she asked about the sex we'd had. Needless to say I was confused.
Needless to say she was pissed.
Needless to say we didn't talk about it much until this comic made it ok.

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BUNNY.

HOLY CRAP!

Greatest. Strip. Ever.

In the last panel, Ray dares to question the world around him, but does not get lost in the mystery and splendor. It doesn't need to have happened, but he'd like to believe it has. Who knows man. Who knows.

it is easy to do asleep style and think you're just having a pretty cool dream in my experience. It is possible to get it on while you are both asleep. Make sure birth control is involved.

This is one of very few Achewood strips to give me a new goal in life. Now I want to die having done Asleep Style at least once.

Well Tina would know.

New relevance may be found in the last line of this Conan O'Brien monologue.

Asleep style seems like it could be a little dangerous. If you're having sex when you're asleep you might say someone else's name, you know? And then you'll be in trouble even though you were asleep and dreaming when you moaned a harlot's name.

It can be slightly dangerous--I woke my boyfriend up (or thought I had), we started having sex, and a couple minutes later he woke up for real and said, "Ann, is that you?"

Luckily, my name is Ann and I thought it was funny.

I have chosen for my first comment posted to be on this comic, because it makes me laugh my ass off every. time.

fat chance. I always sleep after my girlfriend and wake up before her.

This is an example of an average joke made brilliant by pitch perfect comic timing

Alright I'm getting into bed, and I'll be asleep in ten minutes.

Let me know how it was.

Man I've seen asleep doggy style. Some real hot ebony babe with blonde hair, layin' on her bed that was all pink and white and well-lit. Of course the guy was fugly but that is what porno is you know.

The last three panels are fucking INCREDIBLE. OFF THE HOOK. WHOA.

"Poor Man's" Asleep Style is drinking a bunch of martinis, stumbling off to bed while assuring your girlfriend that you are not too drunk to have sex, achieving an erection, then passing out five minutes into coitus.

The girlfriend rides this out for awhile in the name of science, shortly gets bored, stops, then goes into the living room to have a cigarette and watch some of "The Big Lebowski".

Don't ask me how I know this.

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Asleep Style 02/04/2003 « prev 1st rand curr next »

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