Breast Man Perks

Breast Man Perks 02/22/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

You can get a beer with your Ranchones if you order them Beer Style.

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I hear tell that the Breast Man Clause was the reason for the secret menu at In-n-Out, but they had to put it on the website because of the government.

The Breast Man
1 1/2 Gin (Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray, please)
1 oz Brandy
1/2 oz Amaretto
Shot of club soda

Shake, flame oil of one lemon twist in for effect. Garnish with single cherry.

This might suck, I have no idea. Somebody try it and EVERYBODY offer suggestions for your own "Breastmen".

ps we could make this a thing

Needs to include cream.

See, I agreed, at first, but I thought it might be too obvious.

I think this connotes class and style, but also has sweetness, which I think is important for this drink.

You are fired from the drink-making club.

Wait.

I hereby found the Drink-Making Club.

You are fired.

Ok, on second examination, I think you're right. So...

The Breast Man v.2

1 1/2 oz Gin or Vodka
1/2 oz Brandy
1/2 oz Amaretto
Cream/ Half & Half (use good judgement)
Grenadine to color the the drink the color of a milky teat, garnish with single cherry, serve in a chilled brandy snifter.

Ok, I need some feedback on this one, people. I have no access to a bar (I live out of hotel rooms) so if someone can test this, maybe post results and a picture, that'd be delightful!

Not about the Jager, about the cream, rogergs. Just clarifying.

[IMGS OFF]

The look is perfect, and I think the right base elements are in place. I do think, though, that it lacks some robustness, and for what it is, it could stand to be a little sweeter and fuller. I added just a splash of creme de cacao and it really put the drink over the top for me. Not enough to make it one of those cake-flavored flirtinis, just enough to bind the flavors together in a supporting role.

I gotta say, though, why'd you guys come up with such a girly drink for the Breast Man?

Between your avatar and what you have done, you have earned my eternal allegiance. I should let you know that it is my honorable intention to ask you for your hand in marriage.

Creme de cacao is a good addition, I think, but before we add anything, I'd like to see what happens when we change the vodka/gin to brandy to amaretto ratio in the base recipe.

I tried to get classy with the ingredients without being too feminine- I figured you needed a certain softness to suggest the titular (ugh) subject. Can I ask you, which of the the recipies did you use?

Seriously, kudos. If you can pick up a brandy snifter in the future, post a picture of the revised recipe. Well done.

Well, that does explain your drinking choices, then. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a bottle of reposado, a temper, and an Oedipus complex that need mixin'.

Banging your mom is not rad.

I ain't makin' ya bang her! Why you gotta rub her in my face?

Rubbing your face in your mom is not rad.

Some got on the Mayor!

Not the Mayor!

Not the Mayer!

[IMGS OFF]

Wow, dude's packin'.

Seems like a White Russian would do fine.

Not a'tall in the spirit of the endeavor. Breast men don't sit around using other people's drinks, they fucking go out and invent one and give it a damn password, dammit.

Dammit.

i must remember this for when i am eighteen years of age and bored of Diet Coke.

I'm on the case!

Whatever it is, it needs to be in a brandy snifter. Nice round handful, right?

[IMGS OFF]

(And to cool off, check out this little abomination I found while searching. SFW, not gross, just abominable.)

You are so right about that. SO right.

How about something like an xyz with a bit of grenadine? The snifter is a must...

Draw it up! Make it work! Get some things done, man! I wanna see it!

!

By 'grenadine,' do you mean the ACTUAL pomegranate/sugar reduction, or Roses cheap rip-off? The actual grenadine would make the drink a tad more purple. Not teaty at all. Or... kind of. I guess.

My own Breast-Man? (For anyone who cared)

1.5oz gin
1oz amaretto
0.5oz kahl�a,
1oz half&half
dash tonic

Shake all with ice and strain into highball glass w/ice and cherry. Top off with tonic.

You'll be surprised with the tonic/cream medley. Believe me. Though...it's definitely NOT as classy as hellofyellin's concoction. That one's-a-smooooth.

You are now the Vice-Chancellor of the Drink Making Club. Well done.

Chubblied, my man.

You know that real fat titties got some vein in. Shows the blood is flowing there.

Purple might be pushing it, but a bit of blue isn't unhealthy.

The veins are there to provide nutrition for the milk. They give life, and for that, we must squeeze them, oh so gently. God bless titties.

Amen.

"God bless titties" needs to be a Song.

i saw this just now and thought "wtf, i don't even know what an XYZ is!"

then i realized that we have the same avatar. :(

That link there could be made the saddest thing with just a little bit of creative licence. (scroll down)

dammit. i just looked at the wain paintings and then i had to look at this.

i lame you 'cos of the horror those other cats cause me.

nice

Speaking as a female with Ruuuude titties... I thank you for this line of exploration into the proper expression of breast-man love in drink form.

As a male, responding to a female with GOOOOOOD TIIIIIITS, I have given you a chubby.

Ass and Taco are fine by themselves, but should probably not be combined.

^^ Thats nothing compared to the perks at Dairy Queen

The French Fries bit cracked me up.

Chubby'd because it, too, cracked me up (the french fries).

taco bell did sell french fries for a short time. they weren't that good.

Chubby for history, both Taco Bell's disastrous overture into fries and your amazing woad-covered Pictish warrior avatar.
That is a Rad Thing.

Actually Taco Bell still sells fries with all their combos in a number of their L. American countries' franchises. Agreed that they aren't that good.

haha yeah

The reference to Galaxy Nachos is the type of joke that give me hope for a better tomorrow.

It makes sense now that Beef knew about them and Ray didn't, a few years back.

and an awesome username on Acheworld.

I only caught that on, like, my third read-through.

Getting Patron at Taco Bell... still can't class up Taco Bell. But man do I want whatever a cholita is.

Cholitas are what The Eagles were singing about on Hotel California. Don Henley is a breast man and he had just gone through the Taco Bell drive-thru.

What possible utility is there for a phone call from a fireman?

It's just about as useful a phone call to a cop.

911 is a joke in yo town!

The idea is that the fireman calls you, tells you you've made a difference, and lets the dalmation bark into the phone. It is just a little reward.

i thought it would be more like "i am glad you enjoy breasts please do not start any fires goodbye"

That's Smokey The Bear. But you can bearly understand him.

Your pun made a pidgin cry somewhere.

Don't encourage him. It's best just to grin and bear it.

Man, every time I read untilyouaresonude's comment it makes me laugh. Every time. Well done.

Man these are all things that are awesome to boys and men. Karate lessons? Candy? Hell yes.
If you don't understand it, you don't deserve to call yourself a "dude."

Hey, I happen to find both those things incredibly awesome. What now?

You may call yourself a dude.

God I wish this were true.
The secret Taco Bell fries must be glorious.

http://www.inthe90s.com/food/tacobellfrenchfries0.shtml

they weren't that good. unless that's because i got the shitty ass-man fries.

man that 12 layer burrito sounds delicious

Dammit I want these things
I have been a breast man since skateboardin' times

Definitely my "most shown to my friends who do not normally read achewood and anyone else who will listen". Easy five. The phone call from a fireman is AWESOME because I would kinda like that but also not think of it normally.

I had reservations about this arc when it started, but this strip? This strip knocks it out of the park like Scary Stocks on Klingon hyper-steroids. "JAMES BOND IN A TOWEL!" Nachos Gal�cticos and Patr�n A�ejo at Taco Bell! "You can get a beer with your Ranchones if you order them Beer Style"! Awesome.

$18 is an amazing price for Patron Anejo. Easily the best thing on that menu.

"James Bond in a Towel" is one of my favorite phrases nowadays....awesome.

i always thought that breast men were a majority. this strip treats them as some kind of special club.

The perks are impressive, but some of us prefer not to specialize, and transcend to a more spiritual admiration of female pulchritude -- not failing to mark the shape of a woman's foot, the down on her cheek, the graceful strength of her arms, nor the taut curve of her calves. You have your little boys' club, but we have the consolations of our more elevated devotion.

...or so we grumble, craving French Fries at 1am, when only Taco Bell is Open Late. So we console ourselves, when the phone does not ring, and we know it is the Fire Department not calling.

You get a chubby for this entertaining post

Agreed, although damn but isn't pulchritude the ugliest synonym for "beauty" in the thesaurus.

Ray and Beef go :3.

This is rare. This is hella rare.

Yeah I noticed that, you hear Beef laugh sometimes ("hee") but you don't often see him smile like that. It's nice.

Canadian Taco Bells have fries. You're not missing anything.

But are they special Breast Men fries? Probably not

The Beef Ranchones are awesome!

Ray looks so at peace with himself in the first panel. His existential rift has been healed. By titties.

Omg this is def My favorite so far!

yay for patron!
i wanna be in the brest men club too...

There appears to be something wrong with the apostrophes in this post.

[IMGS OFF]
Coincidence?

Wow, assetbar just flat out murdered your comment. That was brutal

If I ... if I give up ass can I get -- well, for that matter, do ladies get Breast Lady Perks? (Aside from the perk of actually having some to carry around, I mean.)

man i could seriously go for some tamales right about now

Just thinking about the secret menu makes my mouth water...is that sad?

Is this how Beef got his Galactic Nachos recipe?

How exactly does one order the secret menu in urban areas where drive-thrus do not exist? Is it not available? Is it, incorrectly, assumed that all city-dwelling men must be the low, inferior species that are ass men?

You walk up to the counter, carrying a small toy car. That's how they know.

Heh. "Chowderhead" Nice throwback T.

How many people have tried to order through Taco Bell using this menu? And if so was it met with success?

beef has some nasty-ass paws

"James Bond in a towel" means that it's as sexy as James Bond wearing nothing but a towel. The location of the towel is irrelevant.

Seriously folks. After rap videos made everyone pretend that they actually like big butts, us breast men got to doing real work. We organized.

The Victoria Cross is a military decoration of Canada modelled on the original British Victoria Cross (pictured) %u2013 instituted in 1856 by Queen Victoria %u2013 in both intent and appearance, though with several small changes. Created in 1993, it and the original are the highest honours in the Canadian honours system, taking precedence over all other orders, decorations, and medals. It is awarded by either the Canadian monarch or his or her viceregal representative, the Governor General of Canada, to any member of the Canadian Forces or allies serving under or with Canadian military command for extraordinary valour and devotion to duty while facing a hostile force. Recipients are entitled to use the post-nominal letters VC (for both English and French), and also to an annual annuity of C$3,000. The Victoria Cross can be awarded more than once, but no one has received the Canadian medal since its inception

000-879 l 000-881 l 000-885 l 000-886

I wonder if the password is an homage to the remarkable digital artist from the '90s called Entropy 8. Now THAT would be James Bond in a towel.

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