I'm assuming the lames are for the fact that the way your post is worded it seems like you want Beef's babies which have been arseraped, when I imagine what you in fact meant to say is that you want the babies he would have after being arseraped by you.

To be perfectly honest, I am not quite sure which is worse.

2 years ago, I was 17. And therefore an arse.

but now you are 19 and an even larger arse.

Actually I've lost weight.

Hi!

Yes!

Because of a problem?

Chubby just for your python handle.

Hell yes!

Thank you, good sir.

Eating spoons of peanut butter because it is the only thing in the house that doesn't require preparation. Man has being depressed down.

i ate peanut butter with un-separated, take-out chopsticks yesterday. they were from the delivery korean food the night before...thank god i still have 3 days before i have to take a shower.....

When I want peanut butter on a spoon, I have to go out and buy it. That's preparation in my book.

I too have done this when in a slough of despond. It does make you feel a little better. At least you did SOMETHING.

That is so true of me as well that it frightens me.

Hence the avatar.

If i weren't so cheap, i would buy the strip

Me three, and I take hell of flack for it even though I'm from here.

MY ANUS IS BLEEDING

such as meaning things like is hell of awesome!

I said hells no the other day.........

Everyone has redeeming qualities. Judge Judy had a Johnny Rotten case. Is on youtube.

My God, me too. I try not to use 'hella' too often around friends, but whenever I do, they just pause and look at me with mild bemusement.

Muppets for snacking only, no full meals.
(I can not pull them off quite so well, but it doesn't stop me.)

Me too! Nothing new, alas - they already believe I'm one hella freak here in the conservative Midwest cornbelt.

I've started replacing "does not" with "ain't".

"Hell of" has replaced "many" and all such synonyms in my daily vernacular. I find my life better for it... Hell of improved.

We got hell of eggs in the fridge! T come make us a fritatta!

I went to breakfast with some friends, whom I had not seen recently, and one ordered a fritatta. I laughed and pretended to pull my head off.

I was not understood.

OH WELL

Where is self pleasure?

:D philippe! i want a philippe.

I've had days exactly like his. Beef, anyways. Philippe's too gosh darn happy.

Yes.

Hi!

this is perfect

no matter what way things go, beef must eventually try and open the blinds.

Chubby for your avatar alone.

Not if the shower light is burnt out then it is just...oh well.

this is so depressing :(

This freaked me out the first time I saw it. He knows about the peanut butter!

Fine by me, as long as he doesn't buy into that "proof against evolution" crap.

Huh?

Creationists have claimed that peanut butter disproves evolution because life doesn't spontaneously form in it.

Wow. That sounds like that magazine I read where they were saying that rivers running through canyons prove intelligent design because "why wouldn't they just go AROUND the mountains?"

Fuckin'... RAIN!

Rivers are so ditzy like that.

Then again, they also think that bananas are proof of creation because they fit so well in your hand.

This is the first strip I gave a five before I finished reading. Probably because I spent about ten minutes considering all the possible routes of Roast Beef's day.

No matter what, you start at the same point and end at the same point. This flow chart could be simplified to "ARE YOU DEPRESSED?" "OH WELL"

Look closer. You can also end up with "AT LEAST TRY TO OPEN THE BLINDS."

This is my brain.

I have never gotten at all choked up because of a flow chart before.

This one was hell of hard to read, but completely worth it.

If only I could give this multiple 5's.
Onstad is a master of comedy.

Hi! I am Philippe! Yes!

OH MY DEVILS!
THATS ME!

This flowchart is about ME! ONSTAD this is me!

I would want one of these with my name on, but then I quit computer science and did something less soul crushing.

The worst days are the ones where I have to tell my own internal monologue to stop yelling at me.

Philippe's decision-making chart is the same thing if you're on heroin too, I think.

Maybe that's what I need to try for my depression.

I think this was the strip that led me to describe my status as 'Roast Beefy' for quite a while. When I respond to personals profiles online, I try to hide this part of my reality, and rely on the Philippe technique: HI! YES! Sometimes it works.

Roast Beef's expression breaks my heart. He's know he's got depression, but thats just the way it is. Oh well.

roats beff is like the ultimate loser

no wonder so many losers relate to him.

I wish there were a way to rate a strip at a 6.

oil on top? why would he have that natural peanut butter?

That's the best kind!

If everyone followed Philippe's flowchart, world would be a better place. Or at least, a cuter place.

My favorite part? The complete contrast between Roast Beef's drawn-out struggle and Philippe's 2-step flowchart of happiness and sunshine.