You have five times as many comments as me but 10 times as many chubbies. Congratulations on this.

Achewood works exponentially.

I want to know who's business it is. Or if he just means its no one's business.

It is not Ray's business, but it might surely be rainwolfj's

Sounds like is talking from personal experience on the funeral.

Ray

I like Ray... He sure can turn out a golf course and just about anything else.

I like the potential of a future strip detailing the process and many little idiosyncracies and logistics of properly turning a given mother out.

A sauce that restores your health points?

It is different in every situation. And we need Ray to show us how it is done.

For example, notice the way Ray adapts to changing circumstances. When he cannot have Eggs Benedict and a Bloody Mary, he will content himself with laughing at the ugly features of a gas station attendant named Napil.

You got to put heat under the sucker.

I live to meet a gas station attendant named Napil and derive humor from his appearance.

Three guys try to turn a mother out, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

Unless you're drunk, then it's hilarious!

Years later, the memory of Napil will haunt madness's mind. "That cashier's face...why can't I stop seeing it?" she wonders aloud on sleepless nights.

madness will never look like Napil.

Napil will never love madness. So it goes.

So it goes.

This is how life is to be lived, essentially.

100% best part of the strip.

WTF happened there? God-darn lines got switched is what happened.

This is awesome if you picture your avatar saying that while wearing cute little electrician's gloves, all singed fur from the explosion.

I'm assuming he wasn't a rainbow ninja at the time?

yeah, i can't remember what he was at the time of this comment.

I'm guessing I would have had a picture of this fella
[IMGS OFF]

Serge, the Seal Of Death.

This fella

[IMGS OFF]

i think we could all use a little lesson corner in our flow charts

Damnit if this isn't the perfect flowchart.

He is ugly = Hilarious

if you're at a party, and feeling awkward, just ask yourself, what would ray do?

TURN THE FUCKER OUT OBVIOUSLY

*mother

I stand by my enthusiastic variation.

there's this twin peaks line where bobby says he's going to turn laura palmer's funeral upside-down and i wonder if this strip is a reference to that

This strip is the one that started it all for me. I was in absolute hysterics reading this, even though I didn't really know what was going on. Hilarious? More like a bloody riot, I was laughing for 2 days straight after reading this.

Right there with you. This is the one that made me an Achewood convert.

We can not, nor will we, expect less.

Brilliant... but the Ray that I know would sometimes, in lieu of putting some heat under the sucker, tear the roof off of it.

Turn that mother out! -> I just can't right now -> YES! YOU! CAN!

OH NO NOT THE CURE

i need more basic time of friends

Can someone enlighten me as to the concept of turning the mother out? I just don't get it.

Thank you!

Although a funeral should not be turned out, a wake may and should be turned out. At least from my experience.

Right. Next party I go to, I am DEFINATELY taking a leaf out of Ray's book.

He is ugly - Hilarious

it has been said.

I'm probably going to be marked as LAME for this, but I actually LIKE The Cure. This strip is still hilarious though...YES! YOU! CAN! Classic.

It is a Thing!

Who told you that? Liking bands is NOT okay!

It's silly to like The Cure!

From the amount of times Onstad makes fun of The Cure, I am pretty sure he likes them too. That, and Teodor likes them, so you're in good company. I'd rather hang out with Teodor than Ray any day of the week, unless it is a special day of the week when Ray makes tacos.

screw that. i'd hang with Ray. and it just so happened that i could abscond with a [[lot]] of money in the midst of one of his Friday Parties...so be it!

Turn that mother out. Unless you have a stomach ache.

hilarious

It's the perfect way to have fun all the time.

'Dang, there's no party here!' "Hey guys, I got three bottles of Ketel and 300 watts in the trunk, let's do this!"

so perfect!

FACT: I consult this flowchart when meetings at the office are getting kind of dry and boring.

YES.

This deserves 900 just for 'HE IS UGLY' - 'HILARIOUS'

Lamed for bad taste in music. I liked that song a bit when it came out, but I was in high school - you, on the other hand, have no justification.

(Part of the lame may also be for using iTunes. Talk about a program which basically has AIDS.)

iTunes works pretty fine for me... What do you use?

Winamp.

yes.

Amarok. It is so much media player I can barely handle it.

foobar 2000

iTunes has AIDS?
ohgod

what's night baseball and how do you play it?

No-peeky baseball: as many cards as you want, but poker rules, threes and nines are wild, fours get you an extra card, you peek you pay some penalty like matching the pot, you flip over til you are winning or til you lose, every time a new person is winning they bet. I'm sure there are ways to make it a drinking game for those who aren't just drinking as they play anyhow.

i...just figured it was playing a game of ball on a field late in the evening.

Is it just me or with the Braveheart one does everyone hear William Wallace approvingly yelling 'Nice' all deep and manly?

Freeedooooom! Niiiiiiice!

I forgot to mention, I hear it as the voice of Chris Morris. "NICE," firm, no-nonsense, it is nice and that is the end of it, we're moving on, why are you still thinking about it?

If you had this tattooed on your back, you'd have to ask the man to make it reversed, so you could see it in the mirror the right way around

dsdf

I have searched high and low and do not know what a "Geil-Kuhnz" logic backsiphon prevention bar is, or why it has that name.

There are two different options leading into the same flow, which itself has three possible outcomes.

The GKLBPB prevents heat from under the sucker flowing into the box of turning mothers out, which would cause problems in Ray's head.

Surely one should "cue" Braveheart instead of "queuing" it?

It this Onstad, or is it meant to be Ray's spelling?

Ray (or Onstad) also lacks understanding of the phrase "toe the line".

In every other instance, Onstad seems to be quite masterful with English, so he's either making deliberate mistakes on Ray's behalf, or the act of writing as Ray is clouding his brain

Naah, most media players refer to adding a file to the list of items to be played as "enqueueing" it--adding it to the queue of pending media. So Ray's saying that he needs to add Braveheart to the list of files he's going to play.

Either that or Ray screwed it up, which is far from unprecedented.

Disagreement Box may be the greatest thing in the history of things.

YES! YOU! CAN! Ray Smuckles was Barack Obama before Barack Obama was.

the juxtaposition of disagreement box with the picture of ray on the lesson corner makes me smiley. it's like those things were meant to go together

I will soon be attending a school of funeral service so that I may be a mortician
On that day, I will get this strip done in my name, so that I always remember that grieving loved ones do not necessarily want anything turned out

"Throw your hat away in the can and rally"

rally.

what does that mean? just that you re-group with your homies, take stock and continue on thereafter?

I like that Ray leaves his precise meaning rather vague. It could mean either to rally the homies together, to regroup as you say, or it could mean rally in the individual sense - sort of like having a burst of inspiration.

i like the idea of the first one more.

s'just me, though.

It's rally as in "boot and rally" as in "vomit so you can drink more" as in "exactly what Ray is proposing" as in "where the heck did you two go to college that you do not know this"

i haven't "gone to college." i don't "have a degree" or "understand personal space". i don't understand "caves"...i'm just a caveman.

ooooh, two SNL references in one comment. daaaaamn yes!

Australia.

This was the background on my desktop for the longest time.