Lyle is my favorite character. He knows how to live.

Honestly, yes. Onstad's description of Lyle's actions (especially "Two scoundrels got fresh with a chain-smoking trailer-pixie who later attacked them when they said that her arms were all skinny like a tall dog's leg") have the ugly, measured cadence of a Tom Waits rap. I can hear him practically snarling "It's Jacks pint night at the Scow and I ain't want to get booted." Sort of like a Southern Shan Macgowan maybe, with more teeth in his face and more piss in his pants.

This is the best strip Achewood has had yet. I only regret that Lemmy's too busy to take on his mayoral duties, and frankly it's causing Drinkin' Island to lose tourist traffic to Girls Gone Wild Island.

GGW Island is painted like the whore of babylon

This is my favorite Flowchart so far. Everything leads to DRINKIN' ISLAND!

OH MY GOD I SEE IT

I gave a hefty sum to sponsor Lemmy's mayoral campaign.

There's an infinite loop of Lyle terrifying a college kid with little glasses.

Unless he lets it slide.

But to be fair no-one should let that shit slide.

But metallica does suck.

I was going to say that. They way suck.

Everyone else withdrew the day he announced his candidacy.

People don't run against Lemmy. They run from him.

I am the college guy with little glasses, overconfidently mouthing off about some band and then immediately taking it back when someone calls me out.

I always thought of Lyle as a strictly Cliff Burton-era Metallica fan. You know, the "Alcoholica" period.

I just love how the starting point for all of Lyle's decisions is "Fuck You!"

I figured every branch would end on the blackout box if that is indeed what it is. After drinking island there would be a huge tangle of decision lines that get denser and denser and ends on the box. And then a box that says "inspect vomit for matchbox cars."

Let's be honest, though, Metallica started sucking with 1991's "Metallica"

Yes! It sucks so much that no one else realizes this! You have no idea how much it pisses me off when I hear some doucherag start going on about "the good old stuff like the black album". God damn shitty arena blues rock is what that is.