He's nobody's breatches!

He'll fight them on beaches!

ray's business personality could totally be based off of Sylvester McMonkey McBean. coincidence? no. brilliant inter-medium user-assisted artistic gestalt? i would say yes.

C-C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

fulgore till i die

DKQuote:

Hello, Dead Kennedys

> You hail the dead Kennedys.

> The dead Kennedys do not respond.

> They are dead.

> Exits are North, South, and Memorably Named Assassins.

(Alternately:

> You hail the Dead Kennedys.

> The Dead Kennedys do not respond.

> They are still in litigation with Jello Biafra.)

Good lord. That's some topical humour.

Learning ALLLLLLLL that he teaches!

the teaches of peaches

It's just a fish in the Atlantic.

...wait...

perches?

Britches? We don't need no stinkin' britches.

Buffet will have Phillipe on speed dial.

(Well, I guess we're all on speed dial now, so this expression may have to be retired.)

The Recession is an ASSHOLE!

Yelling it into a heart attack is the most humane way to kill a recession.

holy cow where did that rock come from? who has a rock like that just sitting around in the yard?

Looks like Phillipe had a large "accident"

More like one large, single, finger. I have waited for the day where Philippe shows his massive little phalanges. Ray better watch out.

man i was just talking about rocks y'all. why does everything got to be about shits and large single digits? you know what? i quit internet.

liar

That sausage sizzler reminds me of many an early scifi show.
-Open the hot dog bun, HAL
-I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...

Humming 'the Blue Danube' to yourself while carefully spiral-docking the sausage into the sizzler port...

"carefully spiral-docking the sausage into the sizzler port"

This sounds like a way Vlad might refer to the technique that should be used when taking a girls virginity.

Quote:

I believe it was "Daisy Bell" ("Bicycle Built for Two").

Blue Danube was incidental music.

Yes, it was incidental music when the shuttle was docking with the orbital station.

How dare you. You gentlemen have both been incidental here.

The Sausage Sizzler looks like the business end of a Play-Doh Fun Factory. Which in turn looks like a garlic press. It all goes back to Williams-Sonoma...wheels within wheels...

Now I've got a mental picture of a sausage going into a wheel, ad infinitum.

NononononononoNONONONONONONONO

i thank you for being vague. this sounds like a story that id rather not read or hear about.

For some reason I visualised some kind of interaction with the gear mechanism.

Nah, it has to be the seat post.

daidai and granular used to work for Troma Entertainment. Sometimes they still reminisce about the old days.

dai, you have become Nice Pete!

You will only hear me say 'eject' once - I will not be around to say it twice.

Philippe knows cigary tasting frankfurters have little to no demand in modern day business.

Not to mention the fact that the Apple of Knowledge looks too much like a vagina for desperate men not to fuck it.

Dudes all gettin they dicks cut off

A hole both literal and figurative is left in the life of they balls

A euphoria of satisfaction followed immediately by pain, the regret of hubris, and grief

::raises hand::

LOOK UPON ME. I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE BALLS.

I've actually been in two different restaurants which featured tobacco in their puddings (one in the form of a tobacco syrup, the other with a crumbled up cigar). Both times I was impressed but slightly concerned about throat cancer. Then I remembered that I smoke anyway, and by that bizarre circuitous logic employed by those in chronic denial it actually made me less worried about the cancer.

i like a guy who knows a thing and shares a thing. real enjoyable dogg ima hand u a chuppie

I was going to call bullshit on you, because the problem with eating tobacco isn't carcinogens, it's that tobacco is toxic as all hell. Then I found a recipe. It appears to be a British thing?

I think it's the nicotine that's toxic when you ingest it.

There are bars where you can get tobacco cocktails, so you don't have to go outside to get your fix. This is true in pretty much every big city with pretentious bars and a smoking ban.

to quote that senator from autotune the news: it's not the nicotine that kills - it's the smo-oo-oooke, the smo-oo-ooke.

Smoke (tar) causes lung cancer.
Nicotine causes heart attacks and stokes as it is a stimulant.

Nicotine causes damage to so many body systems, apart from cardio-vascular, it's like a designer anti-bio device.
I believe when the mayans heard the spaniards were coming they realised the catastrophy which was going to devastate all the aboriginal americans.
Knowing the europeans could not be beaten directly they developed a long range plan of revenge by introducing the invaders to what they called "arka hurk" (suicide drug of the gods).
They calculated it would take around 500 years to reach its maximum devastating effect.
So confident were they that they didn't bother making their calender last beyond this point.

If you're wondering.

Usually I read Phillipe in my own voice, but the last panel is funnier if I purposely make him sound like a 5 year old.

You're not a five year-old?

So is it's primary purpose to denub or to debutter? Or do you denub it, and like pull the frankfurter back and forth twisting it to get the butter off.

And yes, only after typing this do I realise it debutts, it is not a debutterer.

yes that was confusing to me for a second too, but I think to "debutt" the franks is to chop off the nub on its end. There is no butter involved.

"Debutt" was a burn in it.

Also holy shit Phillipe is literally shaking with rage at the recession.

[IMGS OFF]

If/when Philippe beats the britches off of Ray, Ray is going to try to play it all up like, "Yeah, heh, I lost on purpose for Philippe's benefit."

THIS WILL BE A LIE. When Philippe wins, we will all know who is the massivest.

That said, I think Philippe needs to hire a new Shape Designer (TM). I thought Teodor was supposed to be good at this sort of thing?

I kinda dig the DDDSMCSS' style, actually. Ray's thing (by Neiman) looks kinda like a paint palette. That's probably the only shape Leroy Neiman knows well.

I am going to build a Dashboard Sausage Sizzler. I can build it. I have the technology. It will have a variable-rate Eject system to compensate for various sausage densities. Available in Brushed Aluminum, Norfolk Brown, or Neon Brown Metallic.

I am interested in Norfolk brown. Please provide a swatch for color reference.

http://www.atlasrr.com/Images/HOFreightCars/hoprecisiondesign/0309/1354-3_TQ.jpg

You will vent emissions blowback to it from the George Foreman Catalytic Sizzler. I am SEEING this.

Cornelius has that system for alcohol. I remember that.

The skewer that holds the sausage in place could also be a temperature probe, a washer around said skewer would have a spring behind it that would compress and latch when the sausage was inserted, then release when optimum core temperature was reached, simultaneously ejecting the bun from the bun warmer immediately below the heating coils used on the sausage, the entire assembly would land on a wire holder just in front of the sausage port.

You have simplified the design I was thinking of. With a skewer, a centering device would not be needed(my original plan). The washer's edge can also be helical etched for use as the rotation drive gear. Also, with a skewer, curved sausages can be used, while it was previously not a possibility. I like where this is going.

We gonna roast us some ding-dongs up ins

what wait

I'm just glad Phillipe wasn't actually wearing a thong.

You don't know that.

Oh man. I want a portable sausage sizzler. I just cannot abide a cold sausage.

That's what she said.

wuuuuut

(not like the internet kids say it. like the rappers say it.)

Whoa!....chubbied but.

Damn, way to outperform most modern rappers. AM I RIGHT GUYS HAH MUSIC IS TERRIBLE

I like The Shins. ;_;

(is this guy falseP's GF...?)

A logical conclusion.

theyre married.

That was fast.

you just got stole.

i bet these guys would let phillipe watch wonder showzen

OH FUCK YES THIS SHIT WILL HAPPEN.

tHANK YOU bEER FOR THAT REACTION

and that punctuation?

Too...drunk to...make a witty comment...just...have to...comment...

No but really, this looks a bit eh. This needs to be settled with Connie or someone calling these bitches out. More insight when my BAC approaches .08.

why is everyone drinking on a thursday i mean what th ehell.

"but it is wednesday dumbass"

and you think that's any better?

Ain't got no class today (Thursday). Or any day.

Wednesday is "Midweek Madness" down at the Charred Terrapin. We were all there. Did no one tell you?

heh who posts on assetbar while drinking

This guy!

(I do.)

Just to respond to this post (and because I built a liquor cabinet a few weeks ago and I like an excuse to get into it), I decided to have a martini. Then, while getting ice from the freezer, I saw an unopened pint of Ben and Jerry's I had forgotten about.

I guess what I'm saying is you're accidentally my favorite person.

Heh! "Whoops" folks!

Sober opinion: damn it but T is doing the same thing to Philippe only on his side. Philippe is still stressed the hell out. But you know what: I want to see this play out and for Ray to get his. Just as long as it ends quickly and does not spawn another fucking fake product arc. Jesus.

A piece of wood with razor blade that cost 249 dollars is not discrete ANYTHING!

Maybe that's why it was called discreet and not discrete.

>:(

I know there ain't no bitches dissin' Crete.
Love that island.

He's going to get inside the recession's head, all forcing it to give that "pound" high-five that gangsters give each other, then bullying the recession into smoking pot with him. Once they're both high, Philippe will say nonsensical things, forcing the paranoid recession to pretend to agree and laugh nervously.

that does sound like him.

more likely: he thinks the recession is something physically tangible that is in neat piles, so he can mess them up by simply romping around for a while.

global financial crisis? solved by five year old otter that doesn't pick up after himself

http://midconet.net/achewoodtest/TEST.assetbarista-1.0-alpha2.user.js

hi erryone

I has make beta version of assetbarista which displays images once again

http://midconet.net/achewoodtest/TEST.assetbarista-1.0-alpha2.user.js

click on it and it will ask you to install say yes

then maybe you should click on the monkey head and manage user scrip

and then disable assetbarista but leave enable TEST.assetbarista

and then try it out. when done trying it you can do opposite - disable TEST.asstbarista and enable the regular assetbarista.

still in alpha beta feedback welcoem

I don't trust you enough to try this.
Does that make me a bad person?

It makes you not yet drunk enough

I think you are going to be a cock to a stranger.

you can compare the code of mine to the code of the real assetbarista and you can see the differences are minor and not evil.

I don't know if it's possible to make evil stuff with greasemonkey. it probably is. but trust me. there would be no challenge in that. if I want to be a cock I'll do it with a link that redirects to something evil or something, and trick people to click on it. but just posting a virus and saying "here click this" that would be dumb.

what's seriously going on here is my script it almost works but you can see if you try it it's not working all the way and I'm posting it to inspire someone who knows about this stuff to pick up where I left off and fix it so it does work.

I don't know this script stuff very good and I'm not inclined to try too hard at the moment.

but whatevers.

Philippe will do what the entire U.S. government could not, simply because he is just so damn plucky. Philippe 2012!
Comment by(TM) Catgrl

A campaign built on hugs!

I had a horrifying realization that Ray's cigar cutter started as a three-in-one version that did circumcisions... it just didn't work out in testing. Leroy Neiman's mustache was most displeased.

That's because Ray's device is realized in tin. There are places on a body that do not agree with rust.

Are there places on the body that do agree with rust?

YES.

Fascinating Facts about aging.

Tin does not rust. That is one of its most actual properties.

Chubbied for "most actual," and because I've been shoving chemistry into my brain for the past four hours.

philippe is going to make the economy stand in the corner and think about its actions!

This strip made my night.

Goodness! Where did Phillipe learn such impertinent language?

philippe is a child being cared for primarily by man-children. it is inevitable.

Old meme but Phillipe absolutely rules.

To add something of merit to this otherwise benign comment, Phillipe also wears Ray's get-up better than the ol' dude himself.

damn, he called that he was going to mess the recession up

he's going to mess the recession up, damn

David and Goliath is not the little guy. It is a big old bastard of a company.

A triumphant return to form. Achewood characters all being who they are, defining the damn storyline. I still love this comic.

word.

True dat

A car sausage sizzler... Brilliant.

Oh my word, Philippe, you are the limit.

Those last three panels are the absolute best thing to have happened in Achewood all year.

Backhanded compliment? Moi?

"All year" is actually 14, my friend. And the average wait in between strips is 5 days.

The gaps were: 3, 1, 7, 2, 5, 9, 2, 4, 10, 6, 6, 3, 7

Anyone see a pattern? (Man, am I underworked!)

...but why?

I wish I knew a guy who traded tablature with the nighttime guy at the local cable station. It would be way easier to get my ideas out there.

Then waiting until I turn thirty and stuff.

Had to look this up: Tablature (or tabulature, or tab for short) is a form of musical notation indicating instrument fingering rather than musical pitches.

Bring on the fingering jokes!

Teodor is about to call upon a favour from the one useful contact he has in the world, in order to help a child sell people tacky novelties. This explains much about the fact that his life sucks scrote.

The funnier part is who the hell needs to trade tabs with someone because it's all online.

Well I suppose you could recommend some cool tabs that you found, or maybe they are creating tabs for ancient dulcimer tunes.

Thirtiness is the key to life success.

*Sniff* You go Philippe. You mess up that recession real good.

"See what you like, and then copy it".
When I see the kind of stuff that each character wants to sell, there's something... revealing about it. Like their inner desires bloomed open into a twisted form of materialism.