eBay Platinum Reserve

eBay Platinum Reserve 04/28/2006 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Rate this Strip:

« prev 1st rand curr next »

Embed the Strip

Embed:
Facebook:	Share on Facebook

Login to post a comment

Displaying all 108 comments

I try this like once a week and it never works. >:(

This is the first time I noticed "Eyes may close in transit - there is no technology to guard against this." on this strip though and its pretty awesome.

That was TEODOR. HEATHEN.

ah shit.

His/your wish has come true, songbirdspectre

oh god. you're right.

If only. The Meg White sex tape is a fake.

Go away, Meg White.

A comment, a year later: my wife hates the White Stripes, but loves the Raconteurs. We talked about it and chalked it up to her irrational hatred of Meg White, little though she contributes to the band. I mena, she's a barely servicable drummer and should never be allowed to sing again, but come on, that's hardly reason to hate the woman. But my wife persists. Weird.

"I mean"... chalk it up to imbibement.

All wives hate other women. Other women are potentially rooting their husbands.

Meg White? A "barely serviceable drummer?" I don't mean to be confrontational (and it bears mentioning that I'm not even a big fan of theirs), but you don't know how to listen to drums. You're one of those people who make Ringo jokes, aren't you?

OK, that came out as more adversarial that I'd intended. It's just a sore subject for me. All I'm trying to say is that White's style is incredible tasteful, which can often be misinterpreted as simplistic. What most non-drummers don't realize is that playing tastefully is in reality much more difficult that playing flashily. It requires restraint which, unlike "chops," is something that cannot be taught. It must be learned.

A tasteful player is selfless. They're doing what they do strictly in the service of the song. A flashy player often doesn't care about the music. They're playing the way they do just to look good personally, which is fucking gross.

That's all.

serviceable means fuckable, you should relax

I'll relax when you've finished servicing me. And for fuck's sake, cover your teeth with your lips. You act like you've never done this before.

so so true. One of my friends is a stellar guitarist, and many people think he is the best guitarist in the band he plays in (which has a couple of guitarists that rotate per song). One person explained the reasoning well: "He knows when to not play."
And we all know the old adage "Less is more".

Words for all non-metal musicians to live by. Metal musicians get a free pass. They should be busting their balls at all times.

Also:
Quote:

restraint...is something that cannot be taught. It must be learned.

Not sure I thought that sentence out too well.

I've watched a number of songs be completed after having our drummer reign our guitarists in, turning weird Battles like riffs into some punishing yet interesting rock. He's the man of playing what's necessary. In short: I agree.

Conversely, Bloc Party sucked once the drummer had his near death experience and stopped playing his furious fills and crisp metronomic rhythms.

Strike me down if he wasn't the man that saved that band from the infinite hole of blanddom.

Keep an eye over your shoulder for Kele Okerekerekerekerekerekerekerererekkerkerkekrekreke

Now there's a man I can't bring myself to fear. Not even in my imaginations.

Man, all them words that was like a 15 minute drum solo right there.

but tasteful, mind you

But...what about this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItZyaOlrb7E

Lies!

I STILL BELIEVE

How hard would it be to get some damn eyeclamps?

That technology is known and it is called tape.

I tried typing it in on Google, just now. I figured if e-bay doesn't understand it, maybe the entire internet does. Asking the Internet for the best thing it has, that is the kind of thinking that builds mountains. You know where it led me? Right here, this page. Google knows what the best thing on the internet is

the kind of thinking that builds mountains and then drags pictures of motorcycles over them.

YES!!! how come i was the only one to chubby you?

It was only a matter of time:
http://billionairexchange.com/

re: comment above this one,
Right after this strip ran there was a few hits when you searched for WHATS THE BEST THING YOU GOT on eBay. I think it was like a half eaten bag of pretzels though, far from the best thing on eBay.

I did the same thing. I think I also searched on Google, hoping there was a Google bomb type thing. No such luck.

Search on 04/13/08 leads to: this sad item.
Far less cool than Airwolf. Santini wouldn't drink a free beer outta that thing...

I came here to post something like this. We see three items on the screen, and Ray bought at least two of them. I like to think Onstad is keeping the laser in reserve.

Okay, I just noticed the cardboard box marked 3' in the back of Airwolf in the next strip.

Awesome.

I must say, if you change the word gargantuan to genitalia, then would it deserve hella 5s.

IMO, one of the Greats.

Men want to copy his drink. I would.

I like how Keith Moon's head and Airwolf are right up Ray's alley. The Biggest Laser? Not so much.

Too obvious.

Oh he gets the laser. Check out the box that says 3' next to the head.

What is it with Ray getting stoned and ebay?

He's craaazy for that shit!

When ray has caps lock on, he means e-auction business.

Why would ray's nick be "Organized Man?"

yeah, I didn't notice that until just now

Because he created it while complaining that "it sucks how they organize this."

I thought Ray's username was eBay_Ray? Maybe he changed it because he was embarassed about all the Dennis Quaid memorabilia he got ripped off on.

This is up there with the Taco Bell secret menu strip

...so I figure it's $20mil for Airwolf, and the odd $100k for the Jan Michael Vincent meet and greet

the problem is that I'm just givin' out all 5s here. I have no standards when it comes to Achewood. I'm like a 15 year old at the pool.

I feel the same exact way.

I've ended up just giving all strips a 4 and then using the rating of 5 as a favorites list.

Well, you are getting lots of chubbies, which certainly reinforces the comparison.

I want to chubby this but I've never seen the impressive lot of exactly 50 chubbies anywhere else on Assetbar.
V-chub, out of a watered-down attack of OCD.

Well you could have chubbied it to create the inverse effect of a 15 year old with 51 chubbies. But it's too late now. Someone--not me--upset the balance. So go ahead. Chubby.

semiquaver rolls wiv dat meen logix

Cursory research indicates there was only one Airwolf helicopter, and it was converted into a medical chopper and later crashed, killing three. If I'm lyin' Wikipedia's dyin'.

Member since: Oct-07-98
Location: United States

Rated R for pervasive drug use, drummer decapitation, and gratuitous freaking awesomeness.

Ray's advice in the first panel is not good advice, at least for me :(

"it's illegal" :)

Mere days after Ray wondered on his blog whether it would be worth it to get a helicopter just because Imaginationn. But Airwolf is no goddamn huey. Airwolf is lacquer

i should make omelettes.

[nobody is around]

i should go to sleep.

[get stoned]

i should get on ebay!

[poor organization]

i wonder what is the best thing the internet can do for me?

[drops a wad]

this is what i will be like when i'm richer than FUCK like ray is.

in the grand tradition of ray and robert johnson, i hereby offer to sell my soul to the devil for some MAD beat-boxing skills. you hear me, luke? i'm serious!

This is the most inventive thing I have ever read.

Now I'm trying to think of technology that could guard against this.

I think a needle and thread would be sufficient, actually.

this is probably the funniest one i've seen, i was cry-laughing at "WHAT'S THE BEST THING YOU GOT"

Easily, without fail-- the best thing I have seen in SO long.

"Delighted expression seems fairly fixed." Absolutely wonderful.

"kids, always sleep stoned."
four words to live by.

I haven't smoked in almost 5 years. If it's one pleasure I do miss, it is sleeping stoned. I'd always wake up so refreshed and ready to take on any challenge the new day brought, but I'd always poop a lot because I had eaten something like a Pillsbury french bread loaf and butter sandwich the night before.

Goddamn, Ray has that much money?

eBay is not the only prominent web site that uses cheat codes to reward A-type personalities. I went to facebook and typed in "I SEE SOME LADIES TONITE THAT SHOULD BE HAVING MY BABY, BABY" and I found out I was in an open relationship with Halle Berry.

two years later you were fatally shot mere weeks before the release of your second album

That laser is incredibly cheap.

I hadn't noticed that, but now you mention it, it is. That's not much at all for a Death Ray. They're just giving those damn things away these days.

I imagine the laser is actually pretty weak. It's just wide, you know.

But that'll blind EVERYBODY. And all the women will want to know me.

This, in my mind, is classic Achewood.

I work for eBay, and I've got this strip tacked to my cubicle wall.

There are cubicles at eBay? What for?

...Why wouldn't there be?

I just can't imagine how the company would need more than three or four lanky-haired nerds, especially considering that their customer service is, essentially, nonexistent. Ever tried to e-mail them with a problem? Go on, try to find their contact info! I know people who have debts they can't pay from six years ago because the site won't let them do it.

Two words:

Paperwork, marketing.

That won't help these people pay their debts at all.

Someone's got to make sure you're not selling used panties and horse heads on there.

The no body parts rule has always upset me.

Looks like Keith got fooled again after all.

It is a perfect...comment/avatar synergy!

Dude, it does suck how they organize that site.

I loved this strip from the first moment I laid eyes on it. I think it's absolutely brilliant. When I want my friends to get interested in Achewood, I show them this strip... then I realize it won't work because they weren't there, man, like from the beginning and all!

And this is classic Ray, Ray at his absolute best. As eBay itself puts it, he thinks "like the world's greatest." Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Ray Smuckles%u2014they get things done.

But I'm sure Ray's reaction is a little less grand than mine. He probably said "Neat!" and started scratching at the screen to try to take the ones he wanted...

Holy crap, I love Ray's facial expression of discovery. It says it all.

Fuck yeah, Airwolf!

Big money, big fools, big bore.

[IMGS OFF]

=O

I figured someone would beat me to it. For a split second I thought I had found Ebay Platinum Reserve, but a search for "the biggest laser" returned nothing interesting.

Its, The. Biggest. Laser.
Such a laser of its magnitude cannot be contained in a single sentence.

Though I'd seen several Achewood strips a few years beforehand, this was the one that made me go back and start reading the archives, and thus got me into the strip :D

The most dangerous of the three items shown here is by far the least expensive.

I wouldn't be so sure about the head of Keith Moon.

If Onstad was smart, he'd sell shit under that title... Or maybe if YOU were smart...

500 miles? But that's further than the horizon.
Who would need to shoot the unknown?
Oh, the mysterious man with the enviable drink. OK.

Search for "what's the best thing you got" on Amazon, and the third result is the "JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Recreational Tank," priced at $19,999.95. Somehow, it lost to "1974:Billboard Top R&B Hits [Audio Cassette]" and "What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids."

This strip basically sums up my entire university life.

Rereading it, I'd say this Phillippe arc is almost as epic as the G.O.F. I mean, the cat getting stoned and buying Airwolf is a SUBPLOT.

Displaying all 108 comments

Home

Members

Comments

Archive

My Profile

My Comments

Highest Rated

Most Commented

Most Viewed