Fuck You Friday - Pat Edition

Fuck You Friday - Pat Edition 05/11/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

The doctor says you need to be perfect, but you do not trust him. You have not known him long. Is he on the Abercrombie payroll?

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Fuck You Friday!

More precisely, it's a "Fuck you, Pat" Friday. Also, Cornelius is so classy he doesn't even need to remove his hand from his pocket when he snaps on Pat. He doesn't even need to fully furrow his brow. Beautiful.

he didn't have to, because he wasn't taking Pat seriously. Pat knew nothing. Cornelius knows everything. All hail Achewood.

i know, cornelius is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. ever since the badass games.

God loves a Fuck You Friday.

I predict I won't be able to stop saying "Fuck along now" for weeks.

'Fuck along, now' is the best phrase for expressing the attitude of 'fucking along' ever.

exactly, best response ever

Dude, you can't just throw out "fuck along now" whenever you feel like it. You have to wait until just the right moment, when you've owned someone in a brief yet classy manner and left them glowering.

I'll say whatever I want, whenever I want so fuck along now.

"Fuck along now" makes this a 5. A raw 5.

Alt Text: The doctor says you need to be perfect, but you do not trust him. You have not known him long. Is he on the Abercrombie payroll?

Simply divine.

Best Fuck You Friday yet?

I still like the one where Ray gets asked if he wants a slice of cheesecake with that, and his response is "No, fuck you".

What's crazy is that of the four characters in today's strip, Pat is the only one not saying "fuck you". Way to control your anger, Pat! Don't go to the beach!

Pat is what made this Fuck You Friday happen.

Or the barbershop.

only cornelius could tell someone to fuck off with such class.

Yeah, but look at the context. The first one is a misspelling of alone, not along at all. The rest are just interjecting fuck into a saying like get along or move along. Only Cornelius Bear could tell some one simply "Fuck along, now."

i stand by my statements despite what you googley overlord tells you.

Clearly. Cornelius got GAME. Cornelius got game such as to trample over basically everyone else in the strip, save for T�odor in the kitchen and Beef at computer programming.

And possibly Ray at writing music that Cornelius would break from shackles to escape?

Oh man, this strip is so well timed. Today totally feels like a Fuck You Friday.

It reminds me of the 1st season episode of THE WIRE where the two veteran homicide cops go to the cold case homicide scene and suss out the crime completely while saying nothing but "Fuck!" for almost 15 minutes.

Has anyone in world history ever owned someone else so thoroughly as Cornelius just owned Pat?

Nah man, fuck you.

No, and Pat knows it. Check his expression: When Ray and Teodor say "Fuck you," he's surprised, as in "how could they not agree?" When Cornelius dismantles him, he crosses his arms and gets mad. The arm-crossing is something he does when he goes into denial to preserve an illusion of dignity, as seen here.

What can you gain by giving Lames to the site admin? The Wall of Tough Guys is already full. Even if Onstad started selling guest appearances (raffle, anyone?), your one-bit self would more likely get the hose from Teodor.

Fuck you, admin.

Will I be getting on the wall of tough guys now?

New favorite

the fact that it was posted later than the advertised is the ultimate friday FUCK YOU to all of us!

Yes. Fuck us. Fuck us all, every one.

Thank you, Tiny Tim. You truly understand the meaning of Christmas/Fuck You Friday.

Fuck along, now...
Amazing.

Fuck Pat. He's a prick.

I just noticed that Teodor is using a stool to reach the stove. Adds a nice touch of realism.

Escalades get 12 miles per gallon in real life. Onstad checks his mo fuckin'facts.

Hey, it's noon somewhere over the Pacific.

It is, for example, just after noon on Norfolk Island, off the East coast of Australia as I write this.

Pat's a douche and Cornelius hands him some solid zing in this one.

A pretty raw comment from Cornelius, but then again he did take first place in the Bad Ass Games...

OH YES

"Q" Is the Steak Unsatisfactory?
"A" Sizzle the Meat, it [u]muft sizzle.

must. is there no editing? arrgh

ray's double birdin'

The best part, IMHO. Also, he's COMPLETELY misunderstanding what Pat's telling him. Rad!

such a classy way to tell someone to fuck off. i like it

Man, I normally hate theme parties, but I really wanna throw a "Fuck You Friday Party".

How would that go, I wonder? Just a bunch of "fuck yous" thrown about?

"Fuck you. Would you like an Orange Creamsicle?"
"Fuck you. Yes."

Ray's stubby little middle fingers are a nice touch... i think his middle fingers are pointing toward himself. People tell you "Fuck You" if you are an idealist and an asshole about it. Pat is an asshole.

i just realized teodor is standing on a chair. and is he wearing chucks and jean shorts?

This is maybe the best thing Cornelius Bear has ever said. Ever.

Well, Pat did shoot him once. I think he's entitled.

I was hoping this morning that today, would be a Fuck You Friday, what with my Calculus final and all.

Fuck You comma that I did not willingly type.

Fuck You duck hunt dog.

This goes to show that Vegans need to learn the value of a good fuck you friday. Also, win.

This was so deeply satisfying to me on a visceral level.

As with most strips in which he appears, Cornelius totally steals it.

2 questions: is there a way to make it so i don't have to log in everytime? also, does anybody have the problem of not being able to make the alt-text appear after like 2 seconds?

1. I'm always logged in, so there must be
2. no

thanks. fuck along, now.

I so want to fuck Pat. Fuck'im good.

Score one for Mr. Bear!

... Well, one more, that is.

i think that's a punchline! and it might be the best ever! fuck along now. i'm using that tomorrow.

A very classy dismissal from Mr. Bear there. He lays it down nice and smooth.

Pat is such an ass nobody listens to him even when he's right. :(

You know what, guys?

Fuck all of you.

Fuck all of you.

I suppose it'd be repetitive to say that Cornelius steals the strip. But it's so true.

I would love to see Connie some more but is it his limited appearances that makes them so special? Like a top shelf liquor that is to be savored.

I've always thought that Cornelius was a badass, and this strip proves it!

you'd think pat would learn. but he doesn't. because Pat is A Dick.

Hahahahahahaha

Although Cornelius definitely steals the strip, it should be noted that Ray is flicking Pat off, with two fingers, out of the window of an Escalade: this is quite an image.

FUCK YOU PAT
GOD DAMMIT PAT
FUCK YOU

I think everybody is missing the AUTHORITY of Ray's Fuck You. It's capitalized, it's the only one. So you KNOW it's special.

one of the better "fuck you fridays"

Aaaamen amen amen holy jesus mother of god amen.

"Fuck along, now" is amazing. It has single handedly solved all of my life's problems.

The only way he could have destroyed Pat any more is if he had driven over him with his school bus with gothic-arch windows.

Always nice to see a Fuck You Friday. And Pat.

Fuck along now. You can't make a T-shirt out of that. It would have to be a smoking jacket or a dressing gown; something nice with piping.

a gatsby hat maybe?

seriously one of my favorites.

God damn, I'd hate to get insulted by Cornelius. Gettin' hated on from someone that you respect is the worst, especially a classy dude like him. "Fuck along, now" is something I'd only think to use on a dog or like a spider on my sleeve or something, beautiful Onstead.

Everytime I see Pat's hair, i wonder, is that Todd reincarnated as a baldness pattern?

Good use of the old fuckchops.

Cornelius, a man among bears

Cornelius has to start swearing more often.

Men of his stature are above such language

I adore your icon/name combo. Fuck you.

This was a very satisfying strip to read. Pat is one of my favorite charactes, and I love it when people just can't take his crap anymore.

...yes...?

To be honest, Teodore is totally in the right on this one, three acres of grain tastes [i] horrible

I propose Fuck Along Fridays from now on.

That last panel made me laugh like mad. Fantastic!

Always good to take ol' Fuck You out for a spin. Though I'm a bit surprised that Cornelius knows who Elijah Wood is.

Cornelius does not live in the past. He has the wisdom of experience, yet still very much lives in the present, fuck you.

Isn't that a line from a Wu Tang song? It sounds familiar to me, and for some reason I'm hearing Method Man saying it.

or a fuck you fact friday

Pat makes vests look even more uncool than a high-school science teacher. Fuck you, Pat. Fuck you and your stupid vest and your stern look in panel five. Just fuck it.

Three acres of grain tastes terrible. Ahhaha

Bully! cornelius was by far the best of them!

It's good to see a return of the Fuck You Fridays

fuck along now, i have the feeling that is something that will slowly enter my vocabulary

dag, man! it's like Ray and Teodore are saying "fuck you" to me. am i turning into Pat? has my environmental consciousness turned me into the worst dude in my favorite strip? oh god, oh god.

I think it's cool as long as you don't go all tellin' people what they should and shouldn't be doing all the damn time. I ride a bike most of the time and am veggie, but I don't go yellin' at my homies because they picked up some Burger King or are drivin' some gas-guzzling urban assault vehicle. That's their deal, not mine. Pat's problem is he seems to take up causes just to feel like he is better than everyone, not because he actually believes in them.

Oh man, I know exactly what you mean. It's like, Pat makes me feel evil for wanting to say, "Hey Bro, I wish you'd pick a different car to drive around, it's easier on your wallet and doesn't promote the greenhouse effect."
Or, "Geez, do you really think it's a good idea to eat plate covering steaks every day? That's not good for our hearts, and beef has a such a high natural resource impact."

what's a plate covered steak? that can't be good for your digestive tract. porcelain shards and such.

or is that exactly the kind of thing Pat would say

See, I totally agree about the big cars because they don't actually DO anything for you except overcompensate for misplaced manhood. A Civic or Prius will get you there just as well. A nice juicy steak on the other hand... well, if you've never bitten into one, there's just no way to describe it, but it tastes like happiness. I just can't feel complete after a meal unless I've bitten into a nice chunk of animal.

There are people like this completely in my vicinity and it is a rankle - a huge leathery rankle. I mean they're under 25; what gives ?! If only they could learn to just fuck along peaceably they might not be so crab-appley.

I love Mr. Bear. It is for these reasons of awesomeness that he won The Bad Ass games.

Elijah Wood and Cornelius used to hang.

I recently saw a little girl running around at a daycare telling everyone she saw "Save The World..." followed by a different reason that she heard from her parents. Is pat, maybe, that little girl?

THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MERCY.

well if you ask me he is RUDE.

he's a FUCKSHELL

I miss the days when achewood would post in the pm.

i'm always happiest when i just randomly check achewood at like 4pm, and there is magically a new strip, no warning or anything

that is when i smile

i take afront to that, he doesn't keep a stock up becuase he like every artist, including me, will look back at it and find flaws, and will never release it. art is not easy.

also, fuck you man.

I believe I read an interview with Chris where he said he didn't plan stories out ahead because he would get bored with it. I think he likes seeing how things pan out just as much as we do.

Fuck you friday is the only day of the week I'll walk into a starbucks. About 90% of the people loafing around in there need a good fuck you.

starbucks is where the intellectuals of the world congregate ;P

Starbucks also boasts the world record for most messenger bags and chinos in a small area.

Hot diggety fuck! Cornelius' picture should be hung in shrines.

Okay, okay, but the first four panels are kind of on the Mallard Fillmore tip.

Everyone hates Pat again! This is the balance of the universe people! I was a little scared when everyone was being so nice to Pat when he came out. Look at him in that final panel with the raised eye brow! What a cock! Fuck you Pat! Fuck Yoooooo!"

I wonder if Chris gets vegan hate mail for his bacon blog? Is he hating on Pat as response to hate he's taking in?

this was a fucktastic strip. fuckalicious even.

oh man, who has not had a fuck you friday? i the second strip i ever read was a fuck you friday edition.

"Fuck along, now" has become shorthand in my house for conveying superiority and annoyance at the same time.

Pat reacts differently to each fucklaration. He's saddened by Ray's, slightly inquisitive towards Teodor's, and Cornelius's is so classy that it just pisses him off.

I don't know, I rather agree with Pat here. The main difference being that I'm not a big enough jackass to go around telling people I know these things.

I like this strip mostly because of Cornelius' retort.

Mr. Bear lays it down cold.

One of my aims in life, is that, by the age of 25, I am in a situation that presents an oppurtunity for me to lean out of the window of an Escalade and flip an epic double-bird.

fuck along now

So Pat doesn't drink, huh? That might explain a lot...

While Ray is hella rich, Beef is hella depressed, Phillipe is five, Pat is a pissed off sissy liberal, Teodor is a good cook, and Molly is great emotional support for beef.

Cornelius can always give them a masterfully delivered fuck you.

Fuck along now

I have met a few Pats in my day.

"Did you know that by purchasing those tater tots and not 100% murder-free ecofriendly NaderTaters you directly contribute to the extinction of the Tahitian silverback spider monkey?"

IT'S LIKE THEY CARE OR SOMETHING

Cornelius doesn't get angry, just cross.

It gets a bit overshadowed by the brilliance of Cornelius' lines, but Teodor gave quite possibly the best answer ever conceived to that "three acres of grain" line.

That is what you get for calling the bear an alcoholic.

God, if the last line went with some sort of hand gesture Achewood would have the world's first comic-derived Quote-Gesture fad on its hands. So choice

Deserves a 5 for Cornelius final line alone.

And yes, I use Fuck Along Now in normal conversation. You should all be ashamed if you do not.

Moby could be rockin his can hard and Pat would still find something to bitch about. What a dick.

"Fuck along, now" will be the first direct quote from here into my personal library of things

Likewise.

oh!

I only use "fuck along, now" when absolutely appropriate such as snappy retorts against longtime foes, recurring villains, evil twins, etc. Your average dick on the street is not worth breaking out the premier insult. A simple "hey. Hey. Fuck you." will suffice in most cases.