boning a guitar is how they came up with the main guitar riff for the song Unbelievable.

Guitars are male.
Keyboards are female.
Think on that.

but a guitar is supposed to be shaped like a woman...

if you think a woman has no arms, no legs, a super-long neck and six ears.

*shrugs*

I'm just heretically quoting QC...
Seemed to make sense at the time.

Not only that, hes willing to commit. A retarded baby is a fulltime job...
Than again, Ray hadn't talked to his girl friend for six monthes at one point, so he'd probably blow it off.

Low self-esteem is a turn on for Ray.

You don't know what she's got under that muumuu.

Oh damn please tell me I did not miss that the first time!

What I don't get is whether or not Cathy is actually participating in this phone sex. It doesn't really sound like it in panel 8, but maybe that is just how Cathy does it.

What?

Everyone wants to have her retarded baby.

Its so funny. The last line is so damn funny.

I HATE Cathy

I need to stop giving out so many 5's. It's making me feel dirty...

I know. I generally think of myself as fairly discerning with my 5's, but this entire month has been pretty much across the board. I guess that's not a bad thing.

Ack!

Hot.

Or more likely rubbing his nipples again.

A closing line so good it makes men openly weep-- 5 all the way.

Oh yes. I gave this strip a 5 even though I had never heard of Cathy before (I wikipediad it, I am unimpressed) due to being a British person. I also didn't know about Marmaduke. I sort of assumed they were all cats (cf. Garfield). It is kind of very weird to me now that Ray is having phone sex with a cartoon human lady I guess rather than a cartoon cat lady.
Still, yes, 5.

Cathy, Marmaduke, and Garfield are three of the lamest long-running comic strips in the U.S. Family Circus probably takes top honors. If I ever read the comics in the paper, especially the Sunday paper, I am compelled to plan my reading so as to avoid all of them (several others), and to try to end up reading something halfway decent as the last strip. Occasionally I will slip up and accidentally read Marmaduke (I'm not sure why this happens; I can avoid the others easily, even Family Circus). Whenever it happens I am incensed. It never fails to piss me off.

I'm pretty sure Blondie and Gasoline Alley have been running longer than all three of those, but I could be wrong.

Er, all four of those.

What I mean is, I don't think Family Circus takes top honors, and Garfield doesn't come close as it has only been around for maybe 30 years.

Gasoline Alley is still around? With Walt and Skeezix? Holy cow . . . I'm not saying any of the strips I named are the longest-running, just the lamest long-running. Blondie is feeble, for sure, but not in the Family Circus league. Gasoline Alley is more of a serious strip, if I recall.

That has got be one of the greatest things ever said to a woman after phone sex.

DURING phone sex.

How can I gag and rate a 5 at the exact same moment?

C'mon, Ray, you're a nice guy with money. You can afford to have standards. Why the sam scratch are you flinging yourself at Cathy?!

Because he can.

That doesn't mean he should.

But it is all the reason Ray needs.

This is the strip that jerked the rod, sinking the Achewood hook firmly in my lip.

Must you use "jerk", "rod," "sink", "firmly" and "lip" in a comment on a Cathy-Ray phonesex strip? And your avatar is underpants. This is a perfect trinity of sexuality: strip, comment and avatar.

In answer to your question,

[b][i]yes, I must.[i/][b/]

You muft.

this is perfect

Totally my fav strip. The nipple rub sells it.

Laughing at retarded babies.

This feeling, she is of a new kind.

I wish I could rate this ten times. Ack!

This strip is basically genius. How do you make fun of Cathy? She's a caricature of herself.
This is how.

only ray...

Truly epic.

I thought, Cathy being married and all, she'd hang up when she started having phone sex with someone who just randomly called her as she got out of the shower.

In what state can a woman marry a cat?

India.

Ha ha! No. I meant Cathy was married, or I thought she's married, back when I posted that. To a human. I think there's a joke about his basketball shorts?

Ha Ha! No. I think I meant that Cathy is only capable of a relationship with a cat. I guess. She's really married? You've read enough to know?

My only knowledge of Cathy comes from people discussing it in these very comments sections and a few strips of hers that were bearable enough to read. Like, three max, maybe.

Panel nine is a reference to the infamous "Kathy McGinty" recordings, in which Internet dudes looking for phone sex were mercilessly trolled with bizarre samples of a female voice. (I know this because the woman who recorded the samples used to work for the same newspaper I do.)

this strip is a constant reminder to me that phoneboning is lame. especially for someone my age.

If I die and go to hell real soon,

it will appear to me as this room.

And for eternity I'd lay in bed

in my boxers, half stoned

with the pillow under my head.


I'd be chatting on the interweb.

Maggots pray upon the living dead.

I had no interest in the things she said;

On the phone every day

I'll permanently hit the hay


I called her on the phone and she touched herself

She touched herself. She touched herself.

I called her on the phone and she touched herself.

I laughed myself to sleep.


At this rate,

I'll be heading for electric chairs.

I'm only human with my cross to bear.

When she described her underwear

I forgot all the rules my rabbi taught me in the old schul.


You're too young to be this empty girl

I'll prepare you for a sick dark world

Know that you'll be my downfall.

But I call and I call and I call.


I called her on the phone and she touched herself.

She touched herself. She touched herself.

I called her on the phone and she touched herself.

I laughed myself to sleep.


I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I want. (Met you on the internet)

I don't know what I want. (Then I lied about it)

I don't know what I want. (Met you on the internet)

I don't know what I want. (Then I lied about it)


I called her on the phone and she touched herself.

She touched herself. She touched herself.

I called her on the phone and she touched herself.

I laughed myself to sleep.


(Woah!) I called her on the phone (Woah!) and she touched herself.

(Woah!) She touched herself. (Woah!) She touched herself.

(Woah!) I called her on the phone (Woah!) and she touched herself.

I laughed myself to sleep.

Remind me to not give you my phone number.

youre not down with the phonebone?

For some reason, the last panel is my favorite Achewood moment.