Operation Chernchilla Schlep

Operation Chernchilla Schlep 07/25/2010 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Mayner's body is ruined and he must manage his conditions with fake turds.

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This might be the most interesting development in weeks

I'm positively turgid with anticipation!

i'm not.

Jumping the shark in 3....2.....1

Sure you didn't mean 'trimming the missle?'

shaving the otter

Although there is no seemingly practical reason for it, I would like to see Phillip brought in. If for no other reason than to break the confusing monotony and make me laugh. Hell we'd all probably laugh caus, come on, who doesn't like Phillip?

Maybe he can honk his "HERE COMES A HUGE FAG" horn right as Teodor is finishing his job.

This would make me a believer in O again.

I took a moment to think what you meant by O, during which "O, Story of" came to mind quicker than "O, nstad." Such is the bizarreness of this whole arc.

I always get the story of O confused with the halfmen of O, a children's fantasy story by a local author (really very good)

...he said, when his niece's parents confronted him about the Christmas present he had sent.

...Which honestly shouldn't have been such a big ordeal. He included the gift receipt after all.

Polishing the pontiff

It's not "jumping the shark" if its only "copying the Coen Bros."

could you explain this to me? i want to be in on the joke

I hate Google. Please discover civility and acting like a human being in socially interactive situations.

This arc is making everyone incredibly bitchy, I don't like it one bit.

Your mum is making everypone incredibly bitchy.

I'm sorry. You're right. It's like the thanksgiving episode of everything.

I don't know WHERE to begin answering the unusual string of response and analysis of my off-the-cuff snide remark.

I didn't read any knowledge of these references into "let me in on the joke" and so referred him to a place outside of this forum in order to find out. Sure I said it a way that was mildly dick-esque; every now and then this place gets filled with superfluous information and my scrolling finger gets tired.

In short: I typed a quick off-the-cuff snide comment and pressed enter.

Also: you hate Google? Why?

I googled civility and this is what I found:

{quote}
Asking someone on an Internet forum to waste their time superficially explaining a fact that could be easily referenced in much richer detail using the fantastic automatic information retrieval systems the Internet was developed to provide.
{quote}

i guess i'm stupid because i don't understand how this arc is copying the coen brothers, either their movies or their personal lives and histories. knowing who the coen brothers are, i also don't understand how googling them should help with a compare/contrast situation. we do not have robots for that yet. when we do, public schools will need to find something else to do. please help me.

achtung i decided to be semi-un-civil and do some googling: here's some links that might help

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_shark

Quote:

Jumping the shark is an idiom used to describe the moment of downturn for a previously successful enterprise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coen_brothers#Violence

Quote:

The theme of unstoppable evil frequently recurs in their work. ...The majority of the violence in their films falls under the category of dark humor.

Does that googling help? More importantly, was that googling civil?

I'm sorry, I'm still caught up on how Google is as much a verb as it is a noun, now.

Wasn't Civility that B-grade sci-fi flick based on that TV show called Firefly?

I think you're thinking of Senility

seniority?

I've got your seniority, senjor.

Se�ority? We ain't got no se�ority. We don't need no se�ority. I don't have to show you any stinking se�ority!

I'll bet you $105,000 that Assetbar screws up the diacritical tilde.

Quote:

Assetbar screws up the diacritical tilde

Precisely why I avoided it.

that tilde is such a slut

In all fairness it did work in the preview leading me to believe that Assetbarrista was performing some magic to make it possible. Perhaps it does work, but only for those of us with the foresight to try and fix the system and willing to reload (and thus lose all of our unread markers) in order for it to work.

Your compromise was masterful, true, but my pedantic instincts left me unable to avoid doing it properly.

I don't want to keep being that guy at you Saint, but really? Google as a verb still has you flummoxed? So when you left assetbar for two years you also left the internet and interaction with humanity in general? So your whole Warhammer army is painted now?

...don't keep being that guy. I'm not really flummoxed. In fact, I don't really care, really. I'm just locking on to one insignificant portion of some bullshit, just like old times.

...and just like you did right there.

ahh the memories. the frustration, the misplaced rage.

Shit shot straight to the fan those days.

i've seen some coen brothers films, and i understand what jumping the shark refers to, but i also didn't really get his comment at first and i don't know what i would google to explain it. his phrasing pretty much makes it sound like this arc is ripping off a specific film of theirs (unless the coen brothers invented dark humor?)
i guess my point is maybe take a chill pill because i can understand wanting it explained

thank you, i did know what "jumping the shark" meant, i just didn't get the coen brothers reference

Man, I tried googling civility and I got "formal or perfunctory politeness" and "politeness: the act of showing regard for others."

Maybe my interblagosphere is down (I imagine sort of like when a dump truck gets a flat tire?). Maybe google is broken. Maybe Princeton wordnet doesn't know its English real good, it is difficult to tell.

Here is my theory:

A 3 second superficial reply to a question in a social interaction as compared to a 3 second (15 or so in your case, neonfreon) unwarranted, rude, dismissal of a simple request is probably what dissembly meant when they suggested civility. Hard to be sure but sometimes people just want a superficial explanation to satisfy their curiosity because perhaps they don't have 15 minutes to browse a couple wikipedia pages looking for something that could have been given in, well, 3 seconds. Not everyone can spend that sort of time just for curiosity's sake or, once again in your case neonfreon, just to be a dick.

i bet you get halitosis from wasting breath

Good one. I counter your bet with:

I bet you get halitosis from ~~wasting breath~~ bacteria on your tongue.

If you tried half as hard with that jibe when you were actually solicited and called out as a bag of dicks as you did with being a dick for no reason at all, maybe you would have met with greater success.

JUST SAYING.

can someone please diagram this sentence for me it's causing me difficulties

This is the price one pays for being ESL. It doesn't help that I was placed into school above the grades where they teach grammar. Well, they still taught it but when you don't know what a verb or noun is, exactly, an in depth explanation of a gerund is basically a foreign language (esp. when explained in a foreign language, emirite?).

what's halitosis? please explain this to me.

it is where a non-reproductive cell forms a shape kind of like a butt and lets out a microscopic fart as it parts into two such cells.

You don't deserve your vital organs, mouth-breather.

That's a simultaneous hint, threat and insult.
Threefer, motherfucker.

lame. if you're gonna hint threat insult me, you have to come across as if you mean it. People have been genuinely freaked out and scared by me. What have you accomplished, rookie?

Doesn't surprise me that people are "freaked out" by you. People usually get unnerved around that special kind of stupid.

Teezee, man, do not go into a mania.

I do not think mania is rad.

Exactly my point :P

But in all seriousness, Google does not perform the same function as asking a question of a human being. The internet's information retrieval abilities are substantially different to a fellow forum-dweller's.

Google cannot guide you to the meaning of something in a particular context, for example. It cannot provide you with information biased by the person you're asking (e.g. maybe i want a muslim to tell me what he thinks eating pork is all about - i'll get different sorts of information from asking my muslim friend than from Googling it; not necessarily higher or lower quality info, just different). Google often produces hidden biases, as well. You can't Google "global warming" and expect to get accurate information, for example. You might have good reason for asking a meterologist directly rather than "googling it". Ditto most controversial issues. The internet is jam-packed with lies, and, unlike in a social interaction (where you can assess the other person's response meaningfully to some degree), it's much harder to tell *when* you'rebeing lied to. Especially when you don't know enough about what you're asking about to know whether there is likely to be any sort of controversy.

Asking a direct question of someone yields contextualised, real-world information (i.e. explained in a way that makes sense to what you're trying to understand), and information that is filtered through a human in a meaningful way.

For example, if you asked me to tell you about _Pteridinium_ (a fossil organism i am writing my thesis on), i am going to be able to give you ten times as much information as any Google search, i could write a mini essay for you, perfectly tailored to whatever aspect of it you were asking about. You are not going to get that from Google. Which brings up another point - Googling can be completely useless with many obscure topics. I have had quite a few situations where googling something produced absolutely nothing whatsoever. You still get lots of hits, but none of them are remotely what you were looking for. Contrary to what you suggested, it can often be way more superficial to Google something than to ask someone.

BUT that might not seem to apply to a question about some small thing like "jumping the shark", so this is really the core thing i want to say:

What makes it a question of Nettiquette rather than just pragmatism: there are social reasons for asking questions of humans.

You get integrated into some sort of community. You have a back and forth. You go off onto tangents that you didn't expect (Google gives you this one too, yes, but it ain't the same... it's like sex versus masterbation). You end up creating memories with people, you form in-jokes, you offer the person you're asking the opportunity to make a joke, be friendly, put their own spin on whatever you're asking them about: in short, you have a social interaction.

The internet might have been a boon for people with Aspergers (i actually don't know), but that's a small percentage of the population. Some of us actually want to interact with living, breathing people, and want to ask them *their* opinions - with all their living, breathing biases.

(btw: I'm not conceding anything about Googling being less biased, by the way - if anything, Google is more biased than asking a human. You don't get some broad survey of human knowledge on some topic - you get popular results, news-related results, results that are biased without even telling you exactly HOW they would be biased (if you asked a human being, you could have corrected for it. But google results are not predictably biasing in the same way).)

To respond to an honest request in a social millieu with "Google it" is un-civil and crappy nettiquette because it is basically an affront to the other person's move towards being sociable.

They never hurt you; your suggestion that they are asking you to "waste their time superficially explaining a fact that could be easily referenced in much richer detail" is totally, demonstrably false. Perhaps you could make some sort of an argument if you were actually one of the people being *asked* the question - *maybe* - but in general, nobody is forcing you to explain anything. All they're doing is asking, and in a perfectly polite way.

Nobody has invited you (or, rather, woodenteeth) to direct them to Google. In fact, nobody even remotely familiar with the internet would *need* to make such an invitation. We all know it's there. Asking rather than Googling is not an oversight. People ask (rather than Google) for good reasons.

Replying with "Google it" is presumptuous, un-invited, a little bit stupid (for the pragmatic reasons i listed first off), and just plain rude (for the social reasons i listed secondly).

If you actually HAVE Asperger's or some similar psychiatric disorder, it is perhaps understandable. But unless that is the case, responding to most questions with "Google it" is a grade-A dick move.

And that is why i take a couple of seconds to jump on people doing it.

/seriousness

i congratulate you on some Grade A Nerdrage.

Also, i still dont get the Coen brothers connection. Nice Pete is not an unstoppable evil, as he was once brung low by some sever brain and ass stabbage. Also Pat has been known to burn him quite harshly sans reponse from the murder maestro.

severe severe typing issues.

Ha. I said "Thaks".

You avicon is the perfect punctuation to this thread.

Thaks, i take pride from my nerdrage.

It's more Tarantino than Coen, i reckon. Quirky fucked up characters who can't really pull things off as perfectly as they'd like to and end up in bloody situations. Actually, thats Fargo-esquet too.

I totally agree there is a place for asking people questions and getting human responses. However, I don't understand why you believe people universally, or even typically, ask other humans good questions. I present you exhibit A: Yahoo! Answers, home of "how is babby formed", etc. That's a clear counterexample to your assertion that people know what they're doing when they ask questions online. I'll grant that assetbar's demographic is at least a cut above Yahoo! Answers', but asking good questions is a learned skill, and thespoof's vague question doesn't do him much service...

To ask a good question is to communicate as clearly as possible what piece of information you're lacking about a given subject in a given context. I think woodenteeth's response to thespoof's question probably has something to do with thespoof's question not clearly communicating what part of the joke he was having trouble understanding. Given the context, the joke, and his response, we don't have any way of knowing where to start explaining the joke. Does he know who the Coen brothers are? Is he familiar with their style? Has he ever seen Happy Days? Or is he a pop culture whiz and just doesn't get the application of the references to the strip, or maybe he does, and doesn't understand the humor?

So I see woodenteeth's "rude" response as being more of a sharp poke in the ribs to perhaps shame thespoof for being too lazy to either not google background info on his own first, or to fail to use his existing knowledge to ask a better question. Go google and come back and say "i know this and that but i don't get this" or "this is what i think it means.. is that right?". Don't ask people to explain stuff you're to do the work you're too lazy to do, and you won't get curt "google it" responses.

Interacting with humans is great, but I try to keep my interaction meaningful/useful/novel/entertaining, and not just because hey we need human interaction so lets use any excuse for it!

i guess i owe you an apology for i have somehow offended you. To me it seemed self-evident.

the main statement was that he was "copying the coen brothers". Though i know who they are (i really liked Burn After Reading) i didn't understand how it was copying them.

i have not watched Happy Days but i do know what "jumping the shark" is, it is a fairly common term

neon freon, everything you say is sound, but you're missing one point - everything is relative... in one breath you criticize one comment for being too ambiguous, yet in the next breath you gloss over the ambiguity of woodenteeth's comment. We don't know if woodenteeth was being snide, rude, sardonic, or what... The more you know someone, the more nuance there is in your interpretation of their comments.

Anyway. Precision and accuracy and clarity in language are... only ever possible to an extent. Your assertion that these things are of the utmost importance is not fully backed up by cogent argument. There is always more awareness than language can explicitly and semantically convey...

Yourself and neon made the points that I would have made myself. Thanks for catching my back.

I will take my Humble Pill, but only because my inital comment was snide and in knee jerk response to try and stop further cut/paste jobs straight from Wikipedia straight explaining the references and NOT for resisting the nuance involved with the relations involved in a joke and human interaction.

I think your thesis here relies on a quality of interaction that was not really that apparent. You seem to assume two people are sincerley engaged in dialogue. An assumption which has it's obvious difficulties as all dialogue here is in text form.

Mine was an off-the-cuff, fairly snide comment. It also referred mostly to the Jumping the Shark comment. The Coen Bros similarity wasn't particularly apparent to me either aside from the fact that Onstad and the Coen's work is weird, funny and poignant.

... but then, these are all my living breathing biases of opinion. So careful what types of interaction you shut down there partner.

woodenteeth - "I think your thesis here relies on a quality of interaction that was not really that apparent" - oh no, it's really just that someone asked some question, and someone else said 'google it'. You may not have been motivated by, for example, "affronting someones attempt to be socialable", but thats the effect it has on other people reading it (me at least).

The brief, impersonal bursts of text are the standard internet medium. It's them that matter when referring to nettiquette. I'm really, really not complaining about the tone being snide - it's the words "google it" that are the thing.

For the record; it's not just that you said it then that pissed me off. Maybe the first time someone said some variant of "google it", it was mildly amusing. But then someone else said it, and someone else in another corner of the internet, and ten more people (and then some dickhead created this webpage - http://lmgtfy.com/?q=i hate whoever created this stupid fucking meme ).

And then, a couple of days before reading this thread, i shit you not, i did a google search for some technical problem, and the only relevant link that came up a Yahoo Answers page, where somebody had responded to a technical query with the "let me google that for you" webpage - and of course you click on it, and - I SHIT YOU NOT! - THAT IS THE ONLY RELEVANT RESULT THAT COMES UP!

I really wish i could link you to it now so you could see the absolute inanity of it!

btw: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=i hate whoever created this stupid fucking meme - should have plus signs between all the words in that sentence. I was trying to be funny by having the webpage decry itself...

dissembly, I want to thank you for coming here to point out our shortcomings in netiquette. Your willingness to come forward, unsolicited, and point out the flaws our behavior has made it obvious that you possess the confidence of one who has mastered his subject, and so I know that your advice must be true.

I hate it when strangers encourage me to behave sensibly on the internet, especially when they have well-reasoned arguments. They are basically smug monsters who are not 'good dudes'.

Whoever posted about this arc making everyone assholes was not even kidding a little bit.

I kind of only skimmed this thread arc, something about Pteridinium and the coen bros, but it looks great. I've saved it as an .rtf file (the truest format) in my Internet>Arguments>Aholes>Context_Pissing_Contest folder and will peruse, at leisure, with a small mug of warm chianti and a delicious Hot-Pocket. I will be wearing a robe, untied, and nothing else.
On a positive note, you should all be pleased to learn that rearadmiral's avatar bounces in mathematically perfect metered time (122 bpm) with the Battenhouse remix of Discipline by NIN.

please discover not being a smug douche

oh god, while i was off camping the past two days it looks like i started a thing.

oh man dog why you even gotta do a thing.

That was some terrible Roast Beef on my part. I know it.

no worries... not to belittle your contribution or anything, but you are merely another argument wildebeest splayed before the gaping jaws of yet another hungry waiting forum crocodile. you have played your part in completing the Great Circle of Life, a part we all play, hunter or hunted, endlessly to the beat of the pulsing heart of the internet.
if you had not done it, friend, another from the herd would have stepped to the riverbank in your stead.
also, congratulations on finding the sweet spot of camping timeframes...
less than 2 days: unsatisfied!
more than 2 days: reminded why the human lifespan has expanded so much since showers and AC were invented

This arc is flailing around and gasping for air like a stuffed bear trying to handle a massive cat dong in the back of a rolling van.

This arc is grasping to maintain contextual cohesiveness like an Arizona redneck with a Shakespearean vocabulary and a Russian sense of tragedy.

As an Arizonan redneck I don't think it's like that at all.

And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse. Y'all.

saying this while marching through Siberia a la Dr Zhivago would have made your response more perfect than anything ever.

I'm kind of hoping that we see a speech bubble from under the van that says "OOH LA LA!" and then the Van and everything within a mile is obliterated by a giant flaming deus ex machina.

CROM HEAR MY PRAYER

AND IF YOU DON'T...TO HELL WITH YOU

oh god it's that awful grace jones

i think it's the huge pauses between updates that are giving me this impression, i can practically feel him trying to think of where to take it next

Well....it pains me to admit his shadings of gray in this arc are as masterful as anything he's done.

Anyone remember Men in Hats? I'm a tad worried Onstad is going to flame out from the pressure like Aaron Farber did - although Farber is about 20 years younger and plainly wasn't ready for the honour... the achievement... the glory of having all us seemingly bored douchebags checking in every day to see if there's a new strip like a vast pack of Pavlov's dogs. Procedure: Log in --> check Achewood --> POST VITRIOLIC COMMENT IN CATHARTIC RAGE --> consider home improvement measure --> browse for foil insulation --> baulk at prohibitive cost --> wonder why neighbour blurted out "the knee is a heatsink" during an otherwise fabulous drunken discussion last night

MiH was good, but it lasted for such a short period of time, IIRC.

Webcomics are so often a labor of love that they tend to flame out fairly readily. Hell, it happens in any creative field. I'd thought Onstad was a lifer, able to keep 'em coming out every week, but I guess not. Burns twice as bright, but half as long and all that.

Christ man.. You hit the nail on the head. Farber was the first Dave Chapelle, wasn't he.. He couldn't handle the criticism or the expectation, let alone the fame. I think Onstad is a bit more disconnected though; I almost get the feeling that he writes these comics exclusively without expectation of applause or even for our benefit.
I miss MiH something bad, though.. My heart hurts every time I scroll past my Dead Webcomics bookmark folder.

I really HOPE that's how Onstad writes. I don't see how you could handle it otherwise.

Oh he can handle it... Because he knows that his story lines sublimate the paradigm.
Because he writes the humor that the internet deserves, but not the humor it needs right now.
...So we'll hate him.
Because he can take it.
Because he's not Jim Davis.
He's a silent guardian.
A watchful protector.

A webcomic artist.

I re-read a big chunk of Exploitation Now a while back. Probably not a good idea because it'll just make you wonder why you devoted so much time to such a thing. Man, I can't remember how eagerly we awaited some of that fanservice.

Thin H Line/Sexy Losers still totally holds up. Plus, it's now Internet famous for popularizing *fap*. I can't believe how well that took off. I never even knew it had that many readers.

THL/Sexy Losers (I came along after it was mostly just SL) was such a thing as to cause me great joy for the longest time. Just mentioned it recently while having a conversation about Stile Project... Man I need to pour one out for the homies past.

Which says it all, really.

Yep

Chibbied for the Darkplace avatar.

Or, chubbied rather. Embarrassment ensues.

Chibbies for all!

they are like the K-Mart Chubbies

Not quite. They are being knifed by a Scot.

It is taken as read that he is both violently angry and drunken as he is a Scot and they know no other manner of being.

Isn't this the only development in weeks?

Precisely

It's been in development for weeks.

This is the ONLY development in at least a week...

Exactly

and this development is weak

jmd, it is the only development in weeks

someday i'll learn to read a few comments down before posting

Did you know that in the last few weeks this has been the only such development?

Word on the street is this is the only development in weeks. Or so I hear.

Are you saying in weeks that etc.

Breaking news: no further developments for another week.

Logged in just to say that there are no further developments.

EXTRA EXTRA

NO EXTRA

What, no extras from the North?

Developmentes! What news from the oh fuck it

This strip is... The Death Sound.

I just want to tell you good luck....we're all counting on you.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit huffing chinchilla fur.

More on this as it develops.

I say, let 'em crash.

which won't be for a week or so.

I just got here, have there been any developments?

HERE WE GO AGAAAAIN!

here I go
agaaaain
on my own

icon comment synergy up ins

Nailed it

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

He's filing his nails while they're dragging the lake.

Just like watching the chernchillas,
They're so cute
Watching the chernchillas
And they shoot shoot shoot

Glad I wasn't the only one who thought EC off the bat to dskim's comment.

Pete can't be wounded cause he's got no heart.

I'll be honest, this is the first Achewood I've ever skimmed. I ain't reading that shit.

I read it 3 times. It was required.
For once being British was not an advantage.

Onstadt is getting B^U Disease.

Tim Fuckley, aka "Pedo-Tim", aka Timothy Bradley Buckley, proprietor of the web-site cad-comic.com, is a noteworthy sufferer of B^U Disease.

He is the artist behind a web-comic with enough words to wholly obscure the artwork, resulting in a novel with pictures. His writing is an atrocity to behold. His artwork, even worse. And the worst part is that his Google footnote calls his art 'A Humorous commentary on Videogames'.

http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20080602

If any of you can find something humorous or videogame related in that, five dollars.

This comic highlights Fuckley's B^U Disease to the fullest. Long, unfunny dialogue, bad, repetitive art.

He is also known for emailing photos of his penis to underaged girls.

...Dad?

..s...son?

SON.

:[

I AM DISAPPOINT.

your mom isn't always humorous or video game related

what's wrong with e-mailing pictures of your penis to underage girls anyway? You say that as if it's a bad thing. You wanna go through the museums putting underwear on all the statues? what the fuck

Quote:

You wanna go through the museums putting underwear on all the statues?

Didn't this US senator want to cover up this statue of a naked lady because her titties were rude

the rudest

You know what? Your entire stupid post could have been summed up by "There are too many words".

You know what happened in my life between July 25 and July Whateverteen when the last comic posted? HELLA REAL STUFF. What did you do, click Refresh every four hours while constructive a narrative of everything Chris was doing instead of drawing you a fucking comic you didn't like anyway?

You know what? Your entire stupid reply to that stupid post could have been summed up by "There are too many words".

And you know what else? Maybe Your reply AND MINE could both lose a little weight!

WHAT IS that guys EVEN is PROBLEM

it's like heg got BROAD SIDE FED UP the BONE BULGE

Humorous: in the next comic she jumps up and yells "surprise!" and pulls and entire cake with lit candles out of her vagina.

Videogames: the videogame version of CAD features a fan-made patch called "CAD_AERIS.EXE" which if applied will include a baby in further scenes, as if it didn't die.

Best CAD ever.

"Fur-jina." I think in Appalachia they pronounce it "fur-jina."

(Totally just assuming these two slack-jaws are from Appalachia originally. If I've offended any Appalachins in this observation.....it won't matter, since you can't read this anyway.)

I'm not from Appalachia, but my jaw basically drags as I walk. It only moves when I have to read something.

Man, didn't Johnny Cash sing that?

V-Chub for the funniest take on that CAD strip I've ever read.

It still makes me smile on seeing it for the thirtieth time.

It's the little details that do it - her sad mouth in panel three is her happy mouth flipped upside down; Insipid Fuckstatin is a fine nom de plume for TB, and if you look closely you might notice that the blurred background is the famous photo of his cock that he sent to an underaged fan.

Patrick Alexander is a fine cartoonist. His other work is well worth a read. Worst Unicorn
[url=http://www.comics.chickennation.com/2004/03/01/0001-approx/Raymondo Person[/url]

Gonna take a leap of faith here and say you frequent SomethingAwful.com

False.

I ain't gonna pay no tenbux to post anywhere unless I get a blowjob and a cake every month.

I don't even pay for Achewood, and I fucking LOVE Achewood.

Anyone remember the cake fart?

yeah, someone did post something like that on assetbar once. once was probably enough.

Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way? Or is it, that as in essence whiteness is not so much a colour as the visible absence of colour; and at the same time the concrete of all colours; is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows--a colourless, all-colour of atheism from which we shrink? And when we consider that other theory of the natural philosophers, that all other earthly hues--every stately or lovely emblazoning--the sweet tinges of sunset skies and woods; yea, and the gilded velvets of butterflies, and the butterfly cheeks of young girls; all these are but subtile deceits, not actually inherent in substances, but only laid on from without; so that all deified Nature absolutely paints like the harlot, whose allurements cover nothing but the charnel-house within; and when we proceed further, and consider that the mystical cosmetic which produces every one of her hues, the great principle of light, for ever remains white or colourless in itself, and if operating without medium upon matter, would touch all objects, even tulips and roses, with its own blank tinge--pondering all this, the palsied universe lies before us a leper; and like wilful travellers in Lapland, who refuse to wear coloured and colouring glasses upon their eyes, so the wretched infidel gazes himself blind at the monumental white shroud that wraps all the prospect around him.

And of all these things the Albino cat was the symbol. Wonder ye then at the fiery hunt?

I began drooling in a stupor about three lines in, which enabled me to realise this was a brilliant negative-space rendering of Teodor fellating Nathan. Seriously. I see this, and not from a lack of trying not to.

Perhaps this will help http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j244/Lizard_Drinkin/TeodorNathan.jpg

take a break

This is what I'm reduced to in the wait between strips. On the upside, I get to spend quality time stewing in assetbar juice.

Assetbar isn't what it used to be.

Is there no new pariah or prolific figure in your midst? No one to replace the eccentric characters such as Asherdan, Soticoto, Rowboat or myself?

I've only begun the reparations of my douchebaggery, but I can see that my services as a heel are required once more.

http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Unwarranted_self_importance

It's criminal that this has so few chubbies

Possibly related to the fact that it's Encyclopaedia Dramatica.

"Omg, a recursive link that could destroy the internet."

If there's anything I can do to help fuck shit up, let me know Saint.

Saint- he gets things done.

I've been thinking for a few weeks now that this arc seems to have been designed from the bottom up (heyo) for Retardo. In fact it almost seems like a total vindication of his uncomfortable rantings.

Those chinchilla (chinchillae?) are about to suffer uniquely.

I say "chinchillaz,"

you say "chinchillaes,"

let's burn the whole fucking place down!

love your avatar

yeah, it updates quite frequently, doesn't it ;-)

i didn't even read your name. now i feel lame for commenting every time you change it.

do you want some...enchinchiladez?!!!!

Thank god they're finally going to die.

if there's one thing nice pete can't give you......it's reg'lr baybees.

Onstad can apparently spend a week thinking up annoying things for characters to waste time saying.

I don't even know how to read their dialogue. Is that an actual accent?

I think the problem is just that Onstad doesn't seem to be too familiar with the way white trash talk?

I'm only familiar with the Texas variety...do the West Coast types talk like that? It seems like speaking like that would be way more effort than folks like that would normally care to exert.

And that is the most times in a brief span of words that I've used the phrase "like that." Excuse me, I need to go buy a thesaurus.

Well, I like that.

What's wrong with "like that"? It's totally applicable here. Don't be all word snooty.

Yeah, it's more than fine. No need to gussy it up... We have already garnered more than enough grandiloquent sesquipedalian assholes around h... n/m

These aren't white trash, not only white trash anyway, they seem to be shut ins that have become so isolated from normalcy that they have made their own sense of things that isn't relative to anyone else. If you've ever seen "hoarders" there are some people like that. The human culture version of those cave species that are unique to their cave because they evolved there in solitude.

I've met hoarders, but I never saw or a movie or show named that. Which one did you mean?

animal hoarders on animal planet

It's a sad documentary show about people who have filled their house with trash and won't get rid of any. It airs in the US and I don't know where else. In one scene the therapist is sitting with a woman atop a mountain of junk in her living room, holding up half a hanger asking "Do you think you could handle us throwing this out? This is the kind of thing we would throw away" and the woman, half frantic at another person touching her stuff replies "but, I could maybe cut it up and glue it to a board for like a craft project."

oh you meant normal hoarders (i think that's on tlc) i saw one where this lady had five dead cats buried under piles of garbage. none of them were hers and she never notice them

it's true though

she could cut it up for a craft project

IF HER HUSBAND WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT

Wait, though... her husband could still be in there somewhere...

I usually use my smaller hanger pieces for craft projects. The full halves I save for, for, well, I have a better use for the full halves, but I can't remember what is is just now. Let me get back to you on that. In the meantime, hand me that hanger. I'll put it away. Any other questions?

if you crimp the end into a sort of spiral hook they can come in handy for early-term abortions. For mid to late term you want a full hanger so you can double it up for extra strength.

That's it. Thanks for reminding me!

in the mid to late term, the baby will fight to remain in the womb.

is that why it costs so much more, damn

Quote:

The human culture version of those cave species that are unique to their cave because they evolved there in solitude.

The correct nomenclature is 'Autism'.

Video related it is someone with Autism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm_u_AQG4Ys

Lurquilla does not expect that her baybees will be like that. But she will accept it, as a single ripple amid the torrent of life's tribulations, because she believes that after she dies there will be a better existence for her.

Keep Autism Weird

everyone here has evolved in his or her own solitude

But that is one of the ways the the internet has changed the world, even those of us who never would have left the house before now have a place for our idiosyncrasies to cross pollinate. It gave us things like lolcats, a meme loved and created by housewives and college students alike, who never would have collaborated in the real world.

And it gave us Assetbar, a way for socially maladjusted people with Circumstances to connect and chubby/lame each other, when we never would do so in real life.

i would totally chubby catgrl181 in real life

But she would lame you

Or he would just lame all over himself before she even got a chance to get chubbied.

While I'm primarily using Internet-based sources I am lead to believe that housewives and college students tend to interact very frequently. Predominantly by thrusting into a convenient orifice.

My hotmail inbox supports your conclusion. I get dozens of emails a day from housewives who are self described as "lonely", and "desperate" to fornicate, though they often use surprisingly foul language and bad grammar.

I suggest a lengthy, inefficient research study, at the taxpayer's expense. There simply is no other way.

I believe there is quite a bit of video documentary work on the internet exploring the occurrence of promiscuous housewives. Still, it lacks refinement and uses a lot of informal nomenclature. Perhaps a more professional study is called for.

I get the feeling Onstad has never met, seen, or heard someone from the south firsthand. I get the feeling that is the dialect he is aiming for at least. In his mind, they are mythical beasts that speak an antiquated and mutilated tongue and raise chinchillas for their faith, fame, and finances.
My other idea is that Onstad has tried to combine every single dialect of every white trash culture in the States into one omnitrash language that is almost entirely impossible to read.

I get the feeling Onstad wants to be met in the South

We should call The South and set up a meeting!

"Meetings" are for fancy-type yankees and West Coast liberosexuals. In the South, we like to call them "get-togethers".

A "get-together" is where we git t'gether to git-r-done.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Just like that.

Hell yeah hey DJ bring that back

sorry i wasn't clear

onstad wants it deep in the south

balls deep

Abhicles! What news from The South?

After Reconstruction? Not a hell of a lot.

The price of food is going up slightly and a man named Shayne in Charleston has insomnia

I'd go with this being an attempt at an omini-trash argot. You know the David Cross routine about the US-wide redneck accent.

I'm not sure what to think. Onstad's got a great ear for language and interesting constructions. On the other hand, his reproductions of accents are not always as great.

I thought Lurquilla and Maynard's first bit of dialogue was pretty good; it certainly stuck in my head. These last couple of appearances are a bit grating because their accent just doesn't ... scan? Can't think of a better word.

I never for a moment thought he was trying to approximate any specific accent. I'm curious as to why anyone familiar with the violent originality of his work would assume otherwise.

the closest type of person I can think of who speaks at all like this is a special sort of Florida swamp-denizen, an exotic breed amongst trashy caucasoids.

Also, Randy from Slingblade.

Randy was never so verbose

Not so-I moved to Georgia ten years prior, and was able to effortlessly breeze through Lurquilla and Maynard's dialogue. Although if they did speak like that here, it would sound a bit silly.

I think they are Kentucky Appalachians, the people that time forgot.

Not to be confused with Carolina Appalachians. That's what Nice Pete is from and likely how he can understand their utterly destroyed tongues.

Actually, Pete is from West Virginia, which would mean he's more likely kin to eastern Kentucky hill folk, if anything.

Coming this fall: One Big Dysfunctional Appalachain Family.

Buh and Kag plus thirteen.

Sorry, my fault. I got them confused. I had two bosses, one from the Carolinas, and one from the Virginias. They were both assholes, so I must have linked them together somehow.

I thought that linking assholes together was only done in The Human Centipede.

Wouldn't that be more of a sawhorse? Think about it.

Yeah, I guess I was too caught up in my haste to make a Human Centipede reference to think about the logistics.

assetbar posting standards are going down the drain

It's the accent that people named Lerquilla and Mayner have, from a culture of people who prize chinchillas and skimming law school textbooks.

In short, yeah, Chris is BSing this.

As the saying goes, I don't have to be a chef to know when someone serves me a shit sandwich.

Two words: shark sandwich

No, wait...

Congratulations
"Make your own x"
You are
The bullshit defense of the week.

Speaking for myself, that is what I admire about him

What?

I'm still waiting for an answer to this question.

Wow. I've been... mostly on board with this arc, I think, but this is -really awful.-

Agreed. Lurquilla and Maynard are possibly the worst minor characters Chris has ever come up with. Reading their strips is like watching a thalidomide baby try to swim across the English Channel.

Oh well, no one bats a thousand. Just have to kill time until the next arc.

Actually I'm pretty sure watching a thalidomide baby try to swim across the English Channel would be more comprehensible.

And hilarious.

It actually wouldn't even be that challenging for the baby, what with being born with flippers and all.

They call him Flipper, Flipper, Flipper
Faster than lightning...

Nah.

He wrote this story arc in advance, and he'll be damned if he's going to wrap it up quickly just because everyone despises it.

is it opposite day again?

Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others...

Lady, it ain't God you got to worry about putting things Within you.

Is the sick joke on us? Have we followed this comic for years just to have Onstad put us through this painfully long arc as some form of mild-sauce torture?

Maybe you'd be happier reading this?

their activities are so poorly conveyed

Are those really my options?

you have another option. pay.

O Dear GOD. I hoped for a moment it was particularly obscure non-sequitor humour in the vein of the Perry Bible Fellowship, but no. It was a deadly serious developing story arc. "The adolescent golfer has disappointed his high-achieving father through inattention to the game." Et cetera.

But at least you always know what to expect with Gil Thorp -- they've been doing it that way since 1958.

The thing that confuses me most about Gil Thorp is why it consistently--even after changing artists--looks as though it were drawn in MS Paint with a mouse.

Despite being published for over fifty years I only heard about this comic even existing today. I already feel like it has been slowly building up over the years just to punish me. One of these days the dam will break open and I will be forced to read them all as penance for some future evil.

Perhaps you should just sigh heavily and move on. Nothin diminishes a person like hangin around and pity-fucking someone you don't love no more.

So, I have to ask, what does Chris Onstad's arse taste like?

Man-douches?

okay, if you don't have anything more original and less trollish to contribute than this, you're going to get ignored.

Sorry, old, female.

Heavens, I'm far too interested in what it's like to be a perpetually whining little bitch to consider an answer. Tell me, is it everything you dreamed it would be?

heh. overmedicated is a huge cunt he's such a huge cunt when he went in to get his labia reduction surgery the surgeon who happened to be a compulsive hoarder convinced him while he was still groggy from anesthetic to sign a waiver consenting to perpetual storage of his labia in a big vat of liquid nitrogen for just in case he ever needed a skin graft. They were too grand to throw away. "Friggin elephant ears!!!!" was the surgeon's exact exclamation.

Is that right.

yes

yes overmedicated

it is

Oh you just say that because I said you look like a golem poop. Don't hold grudges man.

Ha! I had forgotten that

you are indeed a double-douche.

Man who HASN'T had an anonymous orgy in the back of a van? I mean, come on you puritan holdouts it's the 21st century already.

I was just hoping there would be less cat dong and chinchillas involved.

My Prom night was also difficult.

you never thought it would be this way?

I... guess this was worth 10 days wait...

Nope.

yep

Yeeeeeeeeah....

...No.

Maybe?

Actually the comic makes a lot more sense if you read it backwards, and then invision Pete turning off his lights and slowly reversing away. It reads a little like Bukowski

The important thing is that, despite what the last strip may have hinted at, this is far from over.

You say that like you still believe this arc will actually end within our lifetimes. I admire your optimism.

Yeah. How wonderful for us that this arc just took a U-turn away from a possible ending and back up its own ass. Hooray.

I like to think that this arc will last forever, with Onstad inventing a new character each week to get invited to the back of Pete's van, which, like the mythical Tardis, can accommodate an infinite population of people we don't want to see or hear but who will never die.

mythical?

At present none of them are more annoying than Rose was. Not even Lurquilla.

I hope this arc goes down the road of such as the banjo one and just folds and quits. Onstad seems to have dug himself into a hellhole of missing inspiration.

More a vain hope, but maybe Ray will do something fun to shift the focus. HEY I WONDER WHAT RAY IS DOING RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

"Where's Poochie?"

"Remember kids: Recycle.

TO THE EXTREME!!!"

Extreme recycling....

sounds like the current programming on Discovery...

plus interviews with the guy in charge of the really big building/equipment that deals with the stuff. He's Dutch and needs subtitles.

even though he is speaking English.

MASSIVE EXTREME MACHINES !!! XXX

I mean...why do they think we are that intellectually challenge that we need big massive explosions, drama and machinery to keep us interested......

Get back to the original miniseries where every two weeks there were something new.

..but...keep mythbusters...even though i suspect it started the current trend.

"why do they think we are that intellectually challenge that we need"

Yes...i suck.

Ray is always the Deus Ex Catina.

What we need is Beef roaring up in his Galaxie, T-boning the van and beating Pete into Serial Killer Sauce.

He just wants to know who are the assholes not eating his moussaka.

no, what we need is some original direction in your cognitive function.

I wonder what Dr. Gene Ray is doing right about now. It is probably more entertaining than Lurquilla, et al.

he is proving that cat cock is cubic

Cubic cat cock, and I don't care,
Cubic cat cock, and I don't care,
Cubic cat cock, and I don't care...

My interest in this arc has gone away

You are EDUCATED STUPID by dog brained idiot scientists.

huge anti-intellectual sentiment - from a smoker - out of nowhere.

What? really?

that's right. You're so dumb that you inhale carcinogens. On purpose.

It's called a reference. Look into it when you aren't trolling.

I'd Google it but I'm too busy having bad sex with your mother!

hey me too! High five!

i believe that is called an Eiffel Tower

I believe it's spelled "eyefull," and depends on your aim.

chubby for opening my world to such a terrific sex term

has anyone asked vermy's mother how she feels about all of this

And that Pete is getting Educated Stupid at his high school because they do not teach the four 24 hour football practice of time cube.

Why, why now of all times, was Ray not PAYING ATTENTION?

I just read that one and was thinking the same thing. needs some guys to start a relationship with nice pete.

a death relationship

at this point i'm fairly certain all of our gravestones are just going to be extremely detailed frames of teodor sucking some dick

Finally, I can look forward to my death. I can only hope it results in a money shot.

What will my grandchildren say?

Fuuuuuck.

Fuckin'

Isn't one for yes and two for no? I think Lerquilla's got it backwards.

might explian why she ain't had no regular babies.

"explian" is a fancy way of spellin "explain"

It's like when you get a chocolate donut with chocolate sprinkles.

Except that it is not chocolate.

it is not chocolate, at all.

what is it then? a melange of hydrogenated oil and corn fructose?

I'll bet it's carob.

That's what I'll bet.

(Which is, incidentally, something else that Mel Gibson could blame on the Jews: Passing off legumes as chocolate.)

I think chocolate sprinkles are just vegetable oil, corn starch, artificial chocolate flavor, and brown food coloring.

That'd be my bet.

http://www.bonappetit.com/tipstools/ingredients/2008/12/sprinkles says they're chocolate, cocoa, and sugar.

http://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/candy-ingredients-brachs-unwrapped.php says they use Milk Chocolate (Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Milk, Chocolate, Lactose, Butter Fat, Salt, Lecithin added as an emulsifier, with Vanillin and Ethyl Vanillin, Artificial Flavorings), Sugar, Wheat Starch, Confectioner's Glaze, Carnauba Wax, Yellow 6, Red 3, Blue 1, Yellow 5, Red 40

The key to my fortune has been pronouncing carnauba wax "car-nah-ooh-ba wax."
I now pass this grave secret to you all.

what I love about Carnauba wax is that it is the main ingredient of both gummi bears and surfboard wax.

Did Teodor break the lock?
Did he go down on a cat?
Is Lurquilla gonna die?
COME BACK IN TWO WEEKS TO NOT FIND OUT

A cat with a ten-inch cock, at that.

So I wrote a poem,
The facts as I know 'em.
Though the end seemed so near,
Now I must shed a tear.
There's no resolution,
Just more convolutions.
Onstad rode into town
But again let us down.

With Onstad's skill for drawing things out and never resolving anything, I'm beginning to wonder if he isn't moonlighting as a script-writer for a soap opera.

Bah, to hell with this. Call me when Philippe does something whimsical.

Did anyone actually read those seven panels of dialog, or did I skim it and almost immediately condomn it as a lost cause because I'm too English and don't understand the peculiar way the people of certain areas of the USA like to sodomise the final remaining legacy of our empire?

WHAT-HO TOODLE PIP OLD BEAN

Condomn. When the Typo Fairy strikes, she strikes without mercy.

THE CONDOMNED

"Condom" is one of the silliest word-sounds English people make.

Oh, that and "Beefburger."

It has beef in it. Therefore, it is a fucking beefburger.

<i>And they invented it in Beefburg, Germany.</i>

DAMMIT

As in..put a condomn on your fucking beefburger

i skipped it. i don't know if people actually talk like that, but lets hope they aren't smart enough to write because i can't stand reading that dialect

Eudora Welty with a massive head injury.

See, that's what I'm saying. I've never, ever heard someone that far from actual words; folks of the redneck persuasion tend to be mumblers rather than people inclined to add extra syllables and Rs and such, things that would make speaking more effort than normal.

We could also get into the fact that they're supposed to be some kind of Appalachian inbreds in Northern California but that's a whole 'nother can of worms not easily solved. "They moved" is giving it too much credit.

Having lived 17 years in Northern California, I can assure you it's easily solved. There are some scary, isolated communities in the foothills east of Sacramento. In Georgetown, CA, for example, if you have more than five teeth you're automatically elected mayor.

I stand corrected.

this accent is from Alaska maybe?

I work with a guy from Alaska/Norcal. His isn't this exaggerated but I can imagine maybe that being the source, albeit pretty thin.

No, out of all the preposterous things I've heard in AK, this still tops all. Look to Alabama, I say.

Nope, not even here. That Merceaux guy running for governor of Tennessee is worse than anything I've heard in 27 years in Alabama, and even HE isn't this bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw

come on guys, we only need like 46 more states in the chain!
Cali --> Alaska --> Alabama --> Tennessee

And when we run out of states we can do it with countries! Hours of fun!!

So from what you say, it's basically The Hills Have Eyes: Wine Country.

Most of the Sierra wine country is a little further south, but yeah, that's not a bad description. The Hills Have Eyes meets Sideways.

So, what'd the elevator pitch for that be?

"So, it's like this: Pluto has a bunch of anal sex with chubby, married, waitresses, whilst rampaging around killing drinkers of merlot during his 'bachelor party' weekend. Hijinks ensue."?

A little too highbrow. The Foothills of the Sierra Nevada is the portion of California where you find giant pickup trucks with rebel flags and gun racks, maybe a dead wild hog strapped to the hood. Yes, we have those people here, too (all of the above).

But...California was never part of the Confederacy. Or should we ignore that?

They identify with the spirit they have chosen to claim it represents. A better move might actually have been the original Bear Republic flag, but they nicked that one for the actual state flag.

The places in California away from the coast are generally scary or, at best, agricultural and rural.

Five blocks from the Sacramento waterfront they grow vast fields of murdervine and plump helmet. Locals in frayed straw hats crouch amid their fields, clutching envenomed shotguns and sawed-off pitchforks wrapped with barbed wire. Their hunting dogs have prosthetic bear traps built into their mouths.

West Sacramento is also where the Highway Patrol training facility is. Actually, that answers a lot of questions.

Well in my time working in an office supply emporium more than once customers have come up to me asking where we have the ink "cartilages". Not kidding. Several times I've had to restrain myself from taking a sharpie to their nose.

Oh, I'm from America and I didn't get it either.

Today I will be shaking with restraint while trying not to yell at every passerby, "KIN YOU GIVE ME REG'LR BAYBEES, MISTER?"

Something tells me that is a bit of hyperbole.

A stuffed Teddy Bear, a gay elderly cat, a middle aged female cat and a dozen sopping wet chinchillas walk into a bar, and the bartender says...

"Damn, this part of the arc sure does suck."

"part"?

it was pretty funny early on

Truth, it was going well until President Carter.

You motherfuckers are working some rough chuckles on Onstadt right now.

chuppies alloted where due

Man we all thinking what Tacodor was thinking: This is horrible. How the fuck did I get here and how do I get out of here? Whe...where will I gooooo?

Onstad has filleted the shark.

I'd almost say that it seemed like he was trying to do some sort of experiential thing to us. Trying to make us actually feel Teodor's pain by being subjected to a lengthy, endless, painfully savage journey into madness and despair.

But really I just think he didn't plan this out and is unable to realize how much we hate these people.

I think if he realises it, he'd be exuding tears of laughter and rolling on the floor. he'd be rotflhao'ing. To be the Mengele of WebArtists. To have such power!
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
His meta-experiment is metastaSUPERsizing!

"How did i get in this van"

uh... ah... erm...

"SPLUNGE!"

Yeah, splunge for me too!

"I quit."

"Was this storyline written with the most demented mad libs book in existence?"

Next stop, Beef's place.
Then Ray's place.
Then on and on and on to pick up Todd and Ray's mom and Cornelius and Ultra Peanut and Excitable Free Sample Guy until every last character, no matter how minor, is in the back of that van having the densest and most self-despising orgy of all time. That's where this arc is going, and then maybe off a cliff.
Onstad is a mad genius.

Wait... it's not already off a cliff?

do you see spiky rocks below?

then no

The little corn salesman loves to suck the cock.

You can't call something that's already smoldering at the bottom of the canyon "maybe off a cliff."

You think it can't get worse. Oh lord, how I envy your naivete.

okay, perfect!

Ray gets his can rocked by a dude, possibly w/ commodoring.

I'm starting to think that Onstad has written himself into the inescapable corner of a nightmarish and unplanned story arc... the reason for the wait between updates and the time spent obsessing over the strange dialect of Maynar and Lurquilla. We're not the only ones who have no idea where this is going.

In the end, Teodor escapes the locked van and sues the manufacturer. Beef breaks out of the pipe and goes back to bed with Molly, recognizing himself as a coward who would desert a dying man.

Can't say I agree with your assessment there. I believe it will soon be conclusively proven that Beef is quietly courageous and would dessert a dying man.

Everybody likes a treat.

But I have... diabetes!

It will be a reasonably-sugared and reasonably-caloried dessert and will actually cure your diabeetus.

Honestly, if he just came out now and admitted that he's painted himself into a corner, declared the entire arc non-canon, and maybe did us a Friday Facts which we haven't seen for so goddamn long now, I would regain a lot of the respect I've lost lately.

fire this story out of the "NON Cannon" and into the sun

No, that's horrible, because the past three months would have been for naught. He needs to work his way out and end it. It's the only way. Even if he just kills everyone.

The way out is through.

Verily, it was the same with Dante and his trip through Inferno.

The only easy day was yesterday.

I think I've figured it out. This arc is a metaphor for what Chris is doing to us. Chris (Nice Pete) wants to take us (Teodor) on some surreally unpleasant journey (high school night) and we're held prisoner inside the story arc (van).

so who is the woman who is asking if Onstad can give her regular babies?

As I recall Onstad sired an offspring not so long ago. There's all kinds of paternal issues here.

Dark Horse Publishing

No they're represented by the burnt wreckage of a lawnmower covering a stuffed bear's incinerated terror-shit.

So right about now we should all be experiencing the taste of a metaphorical sweaty old dick in our mouths.

Tastes like Asherdan

cross posted to Touamb. heee

I AM E-FAMOUS

you seem insightful. do you know where my keys are?

Philippe is standing on them.

He has written himself into the back of a locked van with an elderly homosexual cat.

Wait, are they saying the cat gave birth to chinchillas?

No, he is sterile so he buys her chinchillas to make up for it

well... she could still have a 'birthing' ceremonious simulation with her new chinchillers...

The Hickspeak is really slowing me down so let me see if I got this:

Pete returns. Lurquilla tells Pete about Mayner's apparent bowel problems in the interest of full disclosure, fearing should Mayner shit himself without warning Pete can sue due to a Mental Surprise. Mayner is clearly embarrassed by this and takes the time to connect this with the deeper issue of Lurquilla's dissatisfaction with their marriage. Lurquilla reveal's Mayner, for whatever reason, couldn't provide her with a biological brood that is now substituted by her chinchillas and in a moment of Crazy asks Pete if he can deliver. Pete obliges. Lurquilla takes her chinchillas and enters the van to what horrors, only Nathan, T, and Onstad know.

Complicated as that is, I'm sure it was only the last panel that took ten days to render.

REVEALS is NOT POSSESSIVE

Christ, even in non-insane English I got bored half way through.

As well as his bowel, there is also a problem with Mayner's face -- that is the source of warning against an unexpected look at him.

Or that's how I understood the events.

I thought the same thing, initially- however, it appears to me that Lurquilla is saying Mayner is wearing a prosthetic fece, which I guess is some form of truss or suppository meant to prevent his pernicious bowel from acting up.

Actually, it's a battery-operated dildo that Maynard "lost" during a time when he was exploring his sexuality...

True, is not the garden-variety butt plug not a more than adequate prosthetic fece than could reasonably be devised?

Damn - I keep reading that as using a prosthetic face to stop him talking out of his arse.

Which, let's be frank, isn't working as well as he might have hoped.

I have planted many butt plugs in many gardens. they have not given me a good harvest.

Would you prefer "wild type"? This may cause some confusion for those interested in purchasing Butt Plug and expecting something more than they get.

(Walking in the tall grass)

A wild Buttplug has appeared!

It uses Penetrate. It's super effective! Everyone is really horrified! This will cause problems in the community!

You have chosen LICKITUNG!

LICKITUNG uses CUNNILINGUS!

It's super effective!

The important question is whether this is a Dragon Quest reference or a Pokemon reference. There is a right choice and a wrong choice.

The even more important question is when Stephen Lavelle sold out and started working for Square Enix.

Butt Plug "Plus Sign"... how naive I was to be trying to us a plus sign here.

chris maybe you should pay attention to all the hate being thrown your way.

i have easily given you over two hundred dollars over the years on shirts and books and strips and this totally blows. c'mon.

TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS???!!!!! I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU THE MASTER.

DANCE CHRIS, DANCE FOR WOOF'S PLEASURE.

you have no idea what kind of master i am.

no idea.

hey woof it's ok if you want to voice your negative opinion don't be a passive aggressive pussy just because someone called you out

called you out in a really geeky ren-faire cape-wearing way, might i add

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/passive-aggressive

yeah that doesn't contradict the way i used it so do you wanna fuck off now you penguin bitch

you should never be a cock to a stranger

NEVER

But, unfortunately Asset Bar is your mom taking you to the School of Being A Cock to Strangers, in a Nice Van.

There are gay men in the van.

There are no exits.

master of the sith?

Darth Bator.

He is the Master

for instance i have 2 80s in world of warcraft. i bet you do not have even 1 80, if you play that at all.

also my neighbor just murder-suicided himself and his wife. you can't even touch that shit.

Any idea what motivated him?

Woof, I am also interested in this and would like to subscribe to your TROLLETTER.

just 'cause something someone says trips a bunch of people out doesn't mean the dude is trolling. there are lots of idiots in the world, it's not hard to find something that trips a lot of people out.

I always thought trolling (partly) was deliberately saying silly stuff that makes you look like an adolescent vying for attention (but are really just stirring shit by deliberately dropping stuff that you know full well will stir that shit good).

yeah, but at this point, it's hard to consider slams on Onstad's promptness trolling. It can only be considered ironic trolling at this point. This is kind of like that 'what is art' question. If someone accidentally ironically trolls, is it still ironic trolling? Is it genuine trolling? Woof's patterns of statements lack a lot of the context that would help us to answer these questions. So that's why I'm kind of calling everyone out on having gotten out the jump to conclusions mat.

*forward roll... arms up - out - down... giggle like a school girl - hug grinning walnut-faced north European coach*

I.. wha.. okay.. %-)

He has a disease that makes his face grow more walnut-like every year.

As soon as I read the "Jump to Conclusions Mat" I immediately thought of myself as some kind of Forum Gymnast.

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