Citizen Roomba

Citizen Roomba 08/24/2010 « prev 1st rand curr next »

I know, I know. Kane finished the critical notice. You're not the only person who went to college for one year.

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Dude! Spoilers!

Soylent Green is made of Roombas!

But after further investigation, we've learned that "Rosebud" wasn't his final word... It has just part of he said. He said "Rosebud... Henri... with mustard..."

Romba was Keyser S�ze.

A Romba killed Dumbledore!

Or a Roomba, depends on if your "o" key sticks.

She...she killed it! It was just a Roomba!

not a chicken...

You must have the same T-shirt as i do...

Thing is....that fucking T-Shirt ruined usual suspects for me....

That's why I always wear my "spoiler alert" T-shirt the day before.

I hate that shirt.

There goes me, trying to be classy with a en-dash, and look what happens... I take full responsibility.

KK so first up, sorry for threadjacking.

Onstad has posted that he's having a fundraiser. Well, that's one thing. But the fanflow is also a money-spinner, and I'd rather see two people happier than one, and I think keeping Achewood alive is a worthy cause.

So: the first reply to this post gets a year's fanflow subscription. I'll make the account, buy the subscription, delete my credit card information (!) and then hand it over to you. K? K.

Really? That would be pretty awesome.

Awww, beat to the punch by twenty seconds. Nicely played, wjon, nicely played.

love your avatar

okiedokie. i don't totally know how to get in contact with you; acheworld doesn't have private messaging. would you be willing to post an email address on here? maybe a temporary hotmail or something?

w . j o n 6 5 at g m a i l . c o m

Gormster, you should be chubbied to high heaven. Once I'm working again (it may take a while) I'll be sure to pay it forward.

alright, enjoy your new subscription.

And your daily 2GBs of spam.

Why don't you have a real good whine.

Which one would you recommend? I'm a Sauvignon Blanc man, but I'm also partial to a drop of Chianti.

there is no such thing as a Sauvignon Blanc man.

Really?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sauvignon_blanc
Reallly??
[url]http://www.majestic.co.uk/find/Grape Variety-is-Sauvignon Blanc[/url]
Reallllllllllllly??
#looks at empty wine bottles marked 'Sauvignon Blanc' in bin#
Guess you must be right. How could I'd been so wrong? [/bizarro]
#takes lemmy's chubbies by way of compensation#

I was not questioning the grape.
It's just more of a drink for the ladies.
Try looking up 'man'

Sauvignon Blanc is what a 'Oprah' man drinks when he's
out of white zinfandel.

White zin literally makes me want to spit it out and grab an insulin.

Yes, "an insulin" is now something you can grab.

"Perhaps we could grab an insulin together sometime" is the way I will attempt to chat up the next type 1 diabetic girl I meet.

Or she could be type II, but so bad at controlling it that she got autoantibodies to her pancreas and had to start taking insulin. GROSS.

I knew this lesbian who stopped having her period and gained lotsa weight all of a sudden because she was prediabetic.

Ratacattt,
I am that lesbian.

Horrifying avatar/comment synergy.

sweet can we have sex one of these days?

Only if the appropriate wizard hat / robe situation can be achieved

What is the best manly wine? I am leaning toward Shiraz, partially because it sounds (literally) manly and partly because it is my favourite.

How do you define manly? I couldn't pare a wine with something like changing the radiator on your car, or watching cage fighting if that's how you mean manly.
That's what beer is for. Guinness, or perhaps Sheaf Stout where you are.
If you are thinking more along the lines of James Bond in a towel type manly you can't go wrong with Cabernet Sauvignon, (which I am drinking now, out of a coffee cup. Not for manliness per se, but I'm lazy) Zinfandel (Ray likes that too)Or even you're beloved Shiraz. (Syrah to many of us.)
The important thing is that the wine is able to display some nuance, some complexity. It should change a bit as it spends time in your glass, it ought to have a color and a smell, it should remind you of things. If you spill some it needs to leave a stain. Not like that awful Sauvignon Blanc.
That is dog shit.

manly wines must be:
1) Red.
2) RED!
3) Sophisticated.

I went through a phase of thinking that myself. Then I realised that there are great many excellent white wines, and I was just miming a stale parody of manliness to impress no one but myself by refusing to drink them.

I'm all for broadening my horizons. What whites would you suggest? All the whites I've tried either taste vinegary (esp. Sauv blanc) or like juice (Riesling, Riesling-GW, Chablis, Pinot Grigio). What I mean to say is that I have only had a few, and they were not to my liking.

I'm going to preface this with an apology for getting all wine-poncey in all of your faces.
The fact that you find Chablis, which is usually the least fruity of the Burgundy Chardonnays, too juice-like suggests that you might enjoy one of the sparser wines, like an Alberino or a Bordeaux Blanc. Pinot Grigio and Sauvignon Blac can produce a wide range of wines, so wouldn't write off either grape without having a taste around. German and Alsatian Riesling is personal favourite of mine, but I see what you mean about the juice; they tend to be extremely fruity.
I suppose if you've tried a fair bit of white wine with an open mind and you honestly don't enjoy any of it then good luck to you. I just disagree with closing yourself off to potential experiences because of misconceived notions of masculinity. For what it's worth (and I know I'm not really old enough to pull this off) when I was your age I found white wine a bit of a chore. I'm not going to claim that a taste for whites is a sign of sophistication just because I gained it a bit later in life than my taste for red wine, but its always a good thing to to seek to broaden your horizons, as you say.
Anyway, I'm drunk (on beer and scotch) and I apologise for acting like I've got any wisdom to impart on this topic. Drink whatever the damn hell you like, and the odd think that you think you don't like just to make sure.

Lord, I could go off on this subject, and I may yet. The evening is young and the bottle mostly full.
There is quite a bit of crap wine in the world, and as
much misinformation.
Mock, you may have had one of those jug wines that get labeled as 'chablis' here is the states. They resemble a 7-up left open on the sill for a weekend more than anything else.
I would suggest finding a small wine merchant in your area if possible. The big stores are full of the mass produced wines that all aim for the boring middle and hit it squarely.
Talk with them about what you have liked and what you have not. If you are lucky you will find someone that can point you towards something to your liking.
If you can go to a tasting, do.
Not one at a local winery, or only featuring one type of wine or any producer. Something more general.
Don't worry about the wine snobs or not having any 'knowledge'. It's about exposing yourself to as many types of wine as possible and finding what you like.

Random purchasing at the store is a crapshoot, but as such you can get lucky. Avoid cute labels and names,
if a winemaker doesn't take their product seriously neither should you.
Anyway, I'm drinking something right now that deserves my attention, and I hope that you find the same.

Damn, I kick myself for not mentioning this sooner.
For anyone that wants to explore wines in a lovely, low pressure environment, go to a restaurant that serves food that you enjoy and that serves several wines by the glass. Sit at the bar and speak with your bartender and inquire if you could order some appetizers and taste the wines that they serve by the glass. Of course you'll have to pay for this, and I wouldn't suggest that you do this at a busy time, but on a quiet afternoon or weekday evening I'll bet you can find some place to do this. Plus, your bartender will know a bit about what other people enjoy, and what wine would go with what dish. O.K. public service announcement over... I go back to my drink now.

okay it sounds like I've been misled with the Chablis, it was the Taylor (USA) one that i think is sold to restaurants in boxes. I guess I'll poke around with whites some more; I do like how they taste with the fish I catch so maybe I'll find something I like. Thanks for the tips guys, I had a feeling there would be good winos here.

If they don't realize that wine is serious business, odds are that half their product consists of antifreeze spiced with raped, dead puppy.

I think blue nun would get the job done.

this is based on the false idea that "real" men only like awful things, like well-done steak.

Ramses shows us how it's done.

I think it's just based on the idea that red's a more aggressive colour than white. I'm not even sure the flavour enters into it at that level.

WHAT? We're talking wine here son, if what you want for a manly drink is a V-8 with a little umbrella in it you just take it into your room and we promise to wake you up when the cartoons come on in the morning...

and take that blue nun with you. you two will get along just fine...

This is a nearly pitch-perfect imitation of Ramses. Whether you were going for that is irrelevant.

Nah man, I'm just refuting wazza's idea that terrible=manly. Masochism eventually boils down, in nearly all cases, to aesthetics, however simplistic.

I think it's you who said that terrible is manly, with your blue nun quip

(are we seriously going to play a game of assertion hot potato over this?)

oh, I was replying to faits saying blue nun is manly. Since red goes with red meat like steak, it is obvious it has an advantage in masculinity.

I was replying to shelby-d. the idea that blue nun is even wine doesn't merit a reply.

what "real men" do you even know that you would say real men like well-done steak

real men like those things bleeding on the plate

Try eating a rare steak that ends up with you puking the damn thing up sometime. Food poisoning is a bitch that makes you go "wow, trying to impress people by eating barely cooked steak kinda doesn't work so well when you're in a fetal position on the floor in your own vomit." Real men who know what cows eat (and have had the chore of feeding them in a corral full of dirt that is basically dung) cook their steak properly. It's not a real/wuss man issue, it's a young/grown up man issue.

personally I'm into medium steak, so it's cooked through but still tender.

And real men don't feed cows in a corral. They let them feed their own damn selves. Ain't no cow gotta be fed when there's grass about, dammit.

that's stupid
the odds of getting food poisoning from a well-treated cow are practically nil
the cow meat has extremely thick cell walls and bacteria does not penetrate deeper than the outer layer, this is why people all over the world eat rare steak on a daily basis with no ill-health effects

You aren't one of those people who throws up 20 minutes after eating and calls it food poisoning, are you? :-/

what about Mad Cow, dogg? What about bacteria in the juices as well?

I mean, obviously you won't get sick every time, or wild animals would be just constantly vomiting. But the risk is there.

does cooking kill the prions that cause mad cow? Can you kill something that isn't alive to being with?

yeah, so long as you cook properly. They're proteins. They can get denatured.

They are tough little buggars though. Heat can break them down but, partly because they have no DNA, they can often reform and continue with their merry japes.

so what you want to do is throw the steak in a blender and puree it, then boil it into a soup (add water as needed) and add an appropriate amount of sulfuric acid and microwave it on high for 99:99 just to be on the safe side.

I'm sure that's what they do in my nursing home.

That's theoretically correct but the temperatures would be extreme. I know that surgical insturments contaminated by prions will not be sterilised by conventional treatment in an autoclave (which heat to over 121 degrees Celsius according to wikipedia). Bear in mind that that is just to sterilise the external surface, whereas with a piece of beef you would need to get the steak cooked right through. There have been some experiments done using high pressure cooking that would sterilise prions in mechanically recovered meat used for hot dog on an industrial scale, but short answer no, you will not reliably sterilise infected beef by cooking it, even if it is well done to the point of being inedible.
That being said, prions have never been found in food grade muscle meat, so while a steak of grass fed beef that has been properly slaughter and butchered might have some theoretical degree of risk it is pretty minimal compared to the risk of choking on it, or getting run over while going the shop to buy it.

This man speaks truth.

yeah but what fun is life if you aren't playing with remote chances? I avoid flying because of the remote chance of the plane crashing, and this brings me great happiness, especially when a plane crashes anywhere on the world around the time that I didn't take a plane.

Oh man, "mechanically recovered beef." That phrase perfectly describes my squeamishness about eating hot dogs.

It gives me an image of a totally automated slaughterhouse like a Krispy Kreme factory, and the doughnuts (cows) that fall off the track or get stuck in the cracks are swept up by robots at night and pushed into the meat recovery blender in the floor drain...

unfortunately, 'mechanically recovered beef'
is not as cruel as it sounds.

No. They aren't alive, you can't kill them. If you literally eliminate the nutritional content by reducing the steak to ash, yes, you've eliminated them, but they now taste terrible.

The actual incidence of finding mad cow disease in steaks intended for human consumption is to the best of my knowledge non-existent. In addition, over a half million cows slaughtered and sold as food have been found to have mad cow disease, and it has spread to less than 200 people in the last 21 years.

So sure, cook that steak well-done, waste your time, and have something that doesn't taste delicious. Or, just buy local, organic, grass-fed cow meat, cook the steaks rare, and PARTY ON LITTLE DUDE.

actually I was saying medium, not well done, with a decent marinade (red wine and vinegar, soak it from the morning to the evening, cook it in butter and garlic...)

in my opinion it is superior to rare steak, if done well, with a firm yet tender texture and strong, complimentary flavours.

You gotta like autoclave them to denature them thoroughly. Gosh why do I have to keep dealing science out like it's candy and today is Halloween.

W-why, miss goblins! What an unexpected, uh, event!
(how did you ever get out of the many...) I mean,
what a pleasant surprise.
So, where have you (enough laudanum to stun paris hilton) been? I only mean to ask, you don't have any actual memories of the last several months of captiv....
Captivating, yes, I enjoy your company a great deal.
Oh dear! I've spilled some ether onto this handkerchief!

Sonny boy, I used to drink Xanax dissolved in acetone in my bottle as a tot. I was just pretending to be out so I could spy on your operations.

(I don't know which one you're supposed to be, btw.)

oh yes, the 'surely mental'
How you cried for your bottle.

Ratacattt is a voice of wisdom on this.

meat generally comes from cows that were treated poorly at least once.
otherwise you are essentially correct.

my meat comes from cows that have been given shiatsu massage and had pedicures once a week

no, your meat comes from cows that were tortured. If you treated a dog like that, you'd be arrested in most states. I'm all for killing anyone who is part of the meat torture industry. I'm not joking. I'd pull the trigger personally on any one of these people or all of them for that matter if I got the chance. I don't give a fuck if they have families and kids and such. They need to die.

not just them, mind you. lots of people need to die. I don't have a thing about cow torture. I'm just anti-torture in general.

Cow meat doesn't have cell walls. 100%.

fine cow's meat has a thick extracellular matrix of elastic and fibrous molecules like collagen, fibronectin, glucosaminoglycans etc.

Can anyone explain this biological anomaly?

If you're talking about Thegoblins's point, no animal has cell walls. It is a thing of plantae. This can be proven with such as a microscope and slides.

Also, the food poisoning would most likely come from contamination of the cow after/ while it was being slaughtered, from such as fecal matter.

or from such as spinal cord and/or brain matter. That's how you get vache folle, is you eat the cow's brain.

Thegoblins. It is so nice that you are well versed in foodborne pathogens, Thegoblins.

Thank you. I hope you never bite off your tongue, rabbidpanda.

membranes, of course; sorry

This just seemed so strange out of context. M...membranes. Sorry.

In my trade we write about cell membranes, but talk about cell walls. Strange.

going insane, I got no brain!

Sure. If Roastbeef is your ideal "grown up man."

Moo to that!

Well, there's always Fat Bastard. It should be in there somewhere....

perhaps between the nun and the kid with the v-8?
lucky bastard.

It'll be interesting to see how quickly, if at all, spambots pick the address up. I set up that gmail account years ago, but never really use it, it currently gets zero email of any sort. Thus far, no more spam than usual.

gmail's spam filter seems pretty good, I have to say

agreed. gmail is, on the whole, pretty boss.

spambots crash when they read assetbar. Fatally crash. on purpose.

what do you think about Gmail's Skype? (Google voice)

I haven't messed with it. Several months ago Google purchased a competitor of skype, http://www.google.com/gizmo5/

New user signup has been suspended and will return when we re-launch. To receive information about the re-launch please enter your email address.

Existing users can continue to use Gizmo5 products and services.

too bad because gizmo kicked Skype's ass in some areas.

So many years of catching up to do. And I never knew what I was missing. Thanks again.

And those in the cheap seats that can afford to throw down a few dollars, I heartily recommend subscribing. We got Ketel One and Roomba's just everywhere, and you'll be helping Onstad to keep on giving us more Achewood. And those that can't afford a few dollars, well let's hope that some other folks are as generous as gormster.

what have they done to you, wjon

what have you become

I'm a subscriber-shill.

Now THAT movie should be credited as the Best Motion Picture of All Time!

pretty awesome, you mean REALLY awesome

It is much more than really awesome. I just didn't want to make you all jealous.

This post was a rad idea, gormster.

You... are... rad!

I was about to correct you to em dash, but then wikipedia came along and yelled at me. Apparently I didn't even finish my year of collect.

*college

(or my coffee this morning)

isn't it "an" en-dash?

I woulda got away with it, if it... &c.

Yeah but no because it's actually a good movie.

I agree, and wonder why this comment is so much less chubbied than the one below it that said the same thing less eloquently.

I know!

Citizen Kane is great and you are a faggot and that is the end of that chapter.

Lamed in spirit for being a giant ponce.

You call me a ponce, theirateurk calls me a faggot... Have you all been looking through my browsing history?

I want you to know I get what you're saying. I mean, Citizen Kane is, by any artistic measure, a super super important thing - but the only people who'd really watch it a second time for enjoyment are film students.

I think that it does hold up to repeated viewings, but it is diminished by its success. That is, all of the film's (prodigious) contributions to the art of cinema have been adopted and have now become the base upon which other artists build. The narrative itself is good, but not phenomenal (and doesn't resonate the same in 2010).

I'd rather see Roomba with a View.

oh man you almost had me fooled that you were going to post without a devilish pun. Glad you pulled through at the end!

As a film student, I can honestly say...I got someone to sign me into both screenings I was supposed to attend because I cannot endure more than about seven minutes of this movie without descending into a homicidal stupor.

you should try masturbating during the screening to take your mind off it.

I think Paul Reubens was watching Citizen Kame.

I would like to say that it brings a new meaning to the utterance of "rosebud" but in fact it does not -

Quote:

Gore Vidal cited contemporary rumors that "Rosebud" was a nickname Hearst used for his mistress Marion Davies; a reference to her clitoris

I read it on the internet so it must be true.

Vidal went on to say that Hearst was gay, his mistress was gay, and that somehow Lincoln was involved.

Are you the Marquis de Sade?

Oh man, I know this ain't related to the conversation per se but have you seen the movie Quills? Tell me that you liked it immensely then I can go back to wondering why no one else considers it one of their favourite films...

a real Rush?

It Cained me.

It was meh at best. But it has risen like a Phoenix by us discussing it.

It should've stayed dead. Soaked in for Malahide

Teodor's hair/mustache tag team makes him look more and more like Steve Buscemi with each panel.

Or John Waters, sans cigarette.

Next up: Roomba Pink Flamingos.
Beef as Divine: Oh uh Dogg I totally look and act like a lady but I am basically a dude.
Teodor as Jon Waters: Congratulations, Divine, you're now the world's filthiest actress! Eat this pile of dog shit!
Beef: DOG SHIT DOG SHIT OH HELP OH GOD GUYS DOG SHIT.
Teodor

I think the current story arc is essentially like Roomba John Waters, minus the Roomba. I mean, can't you see Divine as Lurquilla?

Nix that final Teodor. It doesn't belong. It just doesn't.

I just read it as a silent smirk

And wouldn't it be even more traumatic for Roast Beef to eat dog links than it was for Divine? I mean Roast Beef is a cat-that's gotta give it a whole 'nother layer of pain and humiliation.

Beef is terrible at being from Boston.

Is anyone truly 'good' at being from Boston?

maybe, like, one bostonian

my bet is on JFK

If he's the exception, then isn't he bad at being from Boston? Hmm? Hah? Ahh.

A comment on avatar/user association: I read Franny & Zooey this weekend and upon coming back to Assetbar for the first time in a long time I actually feel like I know you--you, niceonwater--better now.

Weird.

Glad to be part of the experience, because everyone in the world should read all of Salinger's work RIGHT NOW.

I will do this thing that you suggest. I have been known to have difficulty appreciating literature between 1900-1970. Sell it to me.

I don't need to sell it, the words will sell it.
But let me clarify: you're a fan of Twain, Woolf, Poe, Chechkov, JUMP and then all contemporary writers? Boy, you need some O'Connor, Baldwin, Vonnegut, Hemingway, Joyce, Pynchon etc. in your soul.

In short, you're saying the only good bostonian is... a dead bostonian?

Cold man, reeeeeeal cold.

Norm Abram

Nah, Norm's got Woonsocket written all over him.

To the Midwesterner, Massachusetts is a large grey area marked "Boston" with a small colored circular area marked "Universities."
And it's ten minutes from NYC, Baltimore, Philedelphia, DC AND Atlantic City.

It was the same thing for me, a "Just north of Philadelphia-er" until I decided to drive there one day. Longest fucking ten minutes of my life.

Sammy Adams!

Cool avatarrr.

Wow, I thought the announcement of Roomba-Kane was a joke.

Shows what I know.

As others were speculating on the last strip, perhaps the High School Atrocity Van will become Achewood's most unfinished arc? A giant shaggy dog story whose conclusion is half explained by some background dialogue a year hence.

I'm okay either way. I'd like to know what happened (and I do quite like the HSAV arc, apart from the fact that it's taken so long), but I'm prepared for the possibility that the ending is just too much to transcribe.

I think it's more that after drawing that arc for so long, he needed a break as much as we did.

But we didn't get us into it to begin with.

"Us"? Incorrect.

I've been counting this arc as having started with Ray and Phillipe's company competition, which moved on to Phillipe going home, then returning, and I had just kinda figured that it was on his was home the Teodor got sidetracked into the whole Van thing, but seeing as how now Phillipe is back home (and they are listed as clearly two separate arcs in the drop down) I guess that settles it.

So basically this arc has been running since the second strip posted in May. That's 4 months and 21 strips of this arc. I'm beginning to suspect that the conclusion, whatever it may be, will not be as entertaining as the build up thus far. I have enjoyed this arc the most since the GOF, and it would truly be a shame to see it just fade away, to just slink from the room like so many pimpled middle schoolers at a middle school dance. But a Chris Onstad's gotta do what a Chris Onstad's gotta do. I can't complain about any delays in developments, because he's basically given us all 10 years of golden nuggets for the low low price of a fanflow subscription (or in some cases of no price at all).

Even though standing there with your digital hand out might smack of a tad bit crass, having not produced much lately, maybe it's those dire financial straights that have led to this lack of recent output. IN FACT, I'd like to postulate right now that Achewood is so far in the red right now that Chris has had to take a job as night manager (or possibly assistant to the executive sous chef) at his local Denny's Diner, which is what inspired this arc in the first place. While taking out the trash one night, Onstad chanced to find two homeless men performing oral sex on one another in the darkened alley behind the restaurant, and the only way he could process what he had seen was to write about it in cartoon form, substituting anthropomorphic animals for the humans in this case, because that makes the whole thing much easier to deal with.

It's clearly a case of art imitating life.

It will all end up at Chuck Williams house, no doubt

More posting please. Your avatar needs more frequent airing!

You might be right and as a result I now I think Onstad might have lured those two blowjobbin homeless dudes into his windowless Achewood van and murdered them.

The correct term nowadays is "Oral-genital Engineering."

Hey, just cause some people are blowjobbin' behind denny's doesn't mean they're homeless.

What would the current most unfinished arc be? The time Pat was being drug off down the street by, emm, something, and it was never mentioned again?

This arc started on May 9. It's August 26. We've spent almost a third of a year in the back of Nice Pete's van.

Short of killing off the character forever, I don't know what kind of ending justifies this interminable slog.

more like intermittent slog! HEYO!

oh wait I just looked up what your word meant and it was more appropriate. Fuck. I am not gonna pass Mr. Bishop's vocab test.

suppose the nice pete ark was ray's dream, real circular-like.
i mean, how did teodore scribe "help" into the window sill? that would take time. this isn't a comic that relies heavily on the backslide.

You can do roomba or finish the painful arc or quit, Onstad. Any of the above would be fine.

It may indeed have been Herodotus who said, "Eat a bag of dicks".

However, it was Aristotle who said, "Finish the goddamn story arc!"

I... I'm sorry. That was mean-spirited of me. Actually this is a good intermission before the final act of the Nice Pete story arc. Perfect placement, in fact. The elements are all in play, Ray has been roused from drunken slumber, and we're set to undergo a change in tone wherein Ray's humorous antics lighten up the arc prior to resolution.

Or maybe something entirely different will happen. After all, this is Achewood.

Final act? Oh you na�ve...

I dunno, we may not get a conclusion. Remember the Polly arc? Everyone hated it and was very vocal about it on assetbar. Onstad didn't finish it.

The current Nice Pete arc...a lot of people here hate it and are very vocal about it. So. Onstad may not finish it. Which would make me sad because I like the arc.

I am sad because you like the arc.

how did he not finish it?

people here seem obsessed with "endings" and "emotional closure" but the way I see it, life goes on. At some point in the future Polly will be referenced again, but the story of how they met was a beginning and so didn't need an ending as such.

Life goes on. This too shall pass. Enjoy what you can of it while it's here.

As I recall, it just sort of stopped rather than actually ending. Kind of like what happens when you're reading a book you're not entirely enthusiastic about. You finish chapter 9, put a bookmark in it, and set it down. Then you just never get around to finishing it.

Well, Polly's still in the story. No important events involving her were left hanging.

I'm happy enough with endings that don't wrap anything up (I thought The Sopranos ending was perfect), but in this case there are seriously ragged, possibly burning threads still hanging.

Really, this arc requires a denouement, but I won't be too surprised if we don't get one.

Teodor uses his newfound Onstar multi-millions to have Pete run the gauntlet of van-based weirdness thrice a week for a year?

Uhh...am I the only one here who has realized Polly is Nathan?

We could just all pretend the last arc never happened, and everyone would be happy.

thing I hate most of all is one person just speaking for everyone with no justification.

I'm declaring this my own little fuck you wednesday.

FUCK YOU.

You are just bitter that I lamed you before. But it is OK. You will get over it.

This thread has the worst ending ever. It's like you didn't even TRY, streever.

just hang on there wrmeade, it's getting better and better now.

Sometimes we get humor. Sometimes we get life lessons. In this instance I thought it was better to let him know that the pain will fade.

I feel like the arcs keep getting interrupted. What happened to Phillipe's million dollar record?

Perhaps one the finest things I've seen on this page in quite a while.

It was Thucydides.

It was Louis C.K.

This is the same story arc. This is what Teodor is escaping to in his mind while in the back of the van. This is his dream. His biggest regret. The Roomba film he didn't get around to making. Oh, Teodor.

Yeah, definitely all "Brazil" and what not, singing in the back of the van, Nathan not really giving a shit that he helped break Teodor's brain.

So Ray is Tuttle.

So this is a momentary diversion on the road to the grave?

says here, 'Buttle'.
right, then... come along...

AH HA HA two sources of sound i had not considered vs. a living live lady :)

Follow your Muse, Onstad, but remember that not every installment of Achewood has got to be a Thing. You did just fine with three to four panels back in the day.

At least you finally took down the small image for linking purposes that claimed Achewood updated twice a week. But hey, maybe those days could become a reality -- if you didn't feel like you had to top your past arcs. You don't, after all. Even the Beatles had "Wild Honey Pie" on the same album as "Back in the U.S.S.R." And both are worthwhile in their own way.

But whatever, man. Follow your Muse, I guess. Also: ask for money when there is new product on the front page.

Lames awaaaaaaay!

yes, I am surprised he didn't say "back to the previous arc soon, please donate so I can eat while I finish it"

this seems basic

i do not like this opinion but will not lame

I will, snuffysmith... I... will...

(sorry tekende but in my brain you are wrong and so much so in fact that you deserve a lame)

Why is everyone being wrong today? This is an excellent song.

fuck that. "Back in the USSR" is the "I'm going to do a roomba cinema version of Citizen Kane" of the Beatles catalog.

No, see, that's wrong, though.

You're stretching there.

Back in the USSR is probably in the bottom 50% of the Beatles' output, quality-wise, but it's still a solid, fun song. People seem to have this need to pronounce music by well-known talented musicians to be shit. Maybe it's an ego thing.
Basically, Katy Perry is shit, Back in the USSR is average to good.

Yes, it's near the top of the bottom, let's say.

That said, "Hot 'n' Cold" still gets me dancing.

Well, sure, if we're going to compare it to all the music ever made, "Back in the USSR" is decent. When I say it's terrible I am speaking within the context of the rest of the Beatles' music. It does not even begin to approach the quality of, say, "Hey Jude", "For No One", "Within You Without You", etc.

(Those aren't necessarily examples of the best of the best of the Beatles, but for some reason I can't think of many of their songs off the top of my head right now.)

I feel dizzy. The room is spinning. I think I'm going to be sick.
Tekende thinks that Back in the USSR is a bad song, and Hey Jude is good.
Seriously, I know all artistic value judgements are ultimately subjective but you have horrible taste in Beatles songs. Just awful. Okay, I'm done being self righteous.
No I'm not. I know you are entitled to your opinions but I honestly believe that Back In the USSR is one of the greatest moments in pop history. McCartney effortlessly deconstructed ten years of American rock and roll. In one perfect instant he ended a musical era. After Back in the USSR nothing could ever be the same again. It's both a pitch perfect parody and a love letter.
Hey Jude, on the other hand, is just one dreary little refrain repeated ad nauseam and I would be quite happy never to hear it again.
Sorry to be such a pompous arsehole about this, but I absolutely love that song.

Quote:

McCartney effortlessly deconstructed ten years of American rock and roll. In one perfect instant he ended a musical era.

You're going to have to convince me of this. I've never read any music history or criticism that attaches any particular importance to "Back in the USSR".

On the most basic level Back in the USSR fuses the fast, electric blues based rock and roll of Chuck Berry and the Doo Wop backing vocals of Beach Music, and the Beach Boys in particular. However while the music pays honest homage to these performers the lyrics and title mock the sunny optimism of those performers. The song is guying the bright, parochial patriotism of Back in the USA and California Girls. The Beach Boys sung the praises of girls from 'all round the world' - east coast, northern, southern, midwestern and Californian, but the Beatles reminds them that they know nothing at all about Moscow girls. Hoagy Carmichael is not the only one with Georgia on his mind.
This is all particularly significant given the date at which the song comes out. The White Album was released shortly after White Light/White Heat and Their Satanic Majesties Request. McCartney admitted that he wrote Helter Skelter in an attempt to top The Who after I Can See for Miles and Miles was called 'the heaviest' song ever recorded. Rock and Pop were changing forever and it takes a particular genius to look backward at the moment in time and weigh up American rock and roll, to thank them for the music, have a laugh at the corny sensibilities and naive optimism, before the rest of the album leads us into the future.

yeah, but that's just your opinion, man

Yes, but well-reasoned nevertheless.

Agreed entirely - has long been my take on the song also. At once a fun song, and a "get over yourselves" to post-McCarthyist, Beach Boy vanilla USA.

I like the Beach Boys and I like that insane one especially.

But I admit that I have a fondness for the Muppets version of Kokomo. It is from Childhood.

Let no man put asunder what is from Childhood, for it is like a huge from History.

history is hug

A hug. GODDAMN it.

a huge?

Are you telling me you never got a huge from history?

Mostly hugs, possibly a few huges though.

Maybe if you were watching something like the series Rome. Except that it seriously failed at sexy.

I would have a huge for Catherine the Great

are you a horse? because that was mainly her thing.

Apparently that's a myth. I told my friends that's what I was taught and in a fit of masculinity they ran to a computer to prove me wrong.

Oh, she WAS good, but I don't know if I would say great.
But, I'm not one to talk...

It's not often that a horse gets to ride a lady,
but yeah, hell, Connie Stevens! There, I've said it.

and your listening to barn talk, on the bbc.
next up, baa baa black sheep, social commentary or racist plonk?

Uhmmmm. Shirley Jones? What? you too? oh I feel like such an ass...

sorry to say, Joanna Newsom. Yeah, I understand your disappointment, I thought I'D BE FIRST TOO.

I don't think your Equidae humor is stable enough.

Are you saying it would behoove me to stop?

Nay.

I mean, I can only really lead you to water.

That's what I've heard.

Some people have aesthetics that aren't based on a song's historal perspective.
I myself, having little to no appreciation for historical perspective, find Citizen Kane too soporific for words (except of course the word "soporific").

Yes, but writing "In one perfect instant he ended a musical era. After Back in the USSR nothing could ever be the same again." is an appeal to the song's supposed historical importance, not its aesthetics.

its aesthetics informed its historical importance

This whole conversation is an anaesthetic of historic impotence.

But hey: it doesn't matter that it's "one dreary little refrain repeated ad nauseum." The wonderful coming-together (pun intended) of all those claps, vocals (especially Paul's), piano and guitar, that's what it is man.

It's not because of how much I like the song, it's because of what the song is. You can't think of the in-fighting and the strife (which actually helped create the song) and the political climate and the shootings and the stabbings and the Yokos and the Lindas when you listen to "Hey Jude." I don't like people who don't like "Hey Jude." It doesn't take much to be on my good side, but if you're one of those people who are against "Hey Jude," I don't like you. Sorry. One turn of pompous assholery deserves another, I firmly believe that.

It's like candy. Who doesn't like candy?

Assholes.

The coda rarely even registers with me because I'm still being awestruck by the first half, which an unexpectedly sage friend of mine once described as "the sound of your balls dropping".

For me when it hits the coda it's like 1 2 3 WABAM NAAAAA NAAA NAAA etc. It's an instant smiler. Few songs are instant smilers for me.

NA NA NA NA
NAA NAA NAA
NAA NAA NAA
HAY JUDE!!!

JUUUUDE JUUUDE YEAH

etc

Maybe you would like me if you got to know me better? I mean, it's unlikely because I am a white supremacist who is cruel to animals and spends two or three hours a day having vicious arguments over the telephone with his mother but you never know.

at least you spend time with your mother.

True dat. If he doesn't write, at least he calls.

Hatstand_mcq, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Ok, listen: I'm sorry. I don't actually NOT like you, I don't even know you, but it doesn't put a person off to a good start if they don't like "Hey Jude" around me.

Well, it is a boring song. At least Back in the USSR has that really cool sound of a plane flying by.

Buttfuck.

This is tremendously stupid. Back in the USSR has its place, and it's clever and catchy, but Hey Jude was all that and more. Hey Jude laid down some of the most important pop structures for the years to come. Hey Jude is responsible for, I would say, about 50% of good pop music. You can hear it in everything from Sufjan Stevens to Daft Punk.

I wouldn't take it as far as 50% but the sentiment, yes I agree totally.

Plus it was a song about how a five year old should be happy. It's kind of hard to completely hate that?

fuck 5 year olds. there are too many people in the world. they need to all die. (the 5 year olds)

I don't believe killing all the five year olds in the world would substantially slow down population growth. Plus how awful! Children are beautiful and say the darndest things. A baby's smile makes rainbows sing in heaven &c.

Today, I read the definition of "childhood schizophrenia." The signs of it are when a child suffers "delusions and hallucinations, exhibits irrational behavior, and has trouble with daily tasks such as taking baths." I immediately doubled over with laughter.

You're not trying to tell us something, are you?

Well, there you go. All 5yos are crazy. ratacatttttttt may be right.

Babies and five year olds are different. But yes, though I can't really stand young kids, I know I was one and they're kind of necessary to the world and yes, sometimes one will say a darnded thing and make your day. But sometimes they suck.

I mostly like little kids.

Fuck 'em. >BJ

Mmmmthat too, yes. This.

I'd eat Katy Perry's shit

even if she does have very questionable douchebag boyfriend

why is her boyfriend your main concern? You said you would eat her poop.

what about the meal previous to that bowel movement? what if it was tacos, or curry? would you still eat it then?

that would add flavour

How do you even make that conclusion? For all we know, the capsacins and citrics and aromatics and all could be completely chemically altered by the digestive process.

by the smell of my own shit

the two senses are related

This has gone too far.

*LSHIBSMOMN*
(Laughing So Hard I Blew Shit Milkshake Out My Nose)

Boys will be boys

If I had to eat someone's shit, I'd probably be most enthusiastic (read: least grief-stricken) if it was a taco shit. Until I got near it, maybe. But then once I got a mouthful, I'd be alright with it.

ASSETBAR: TALKIN' 'BOUT SHIT

Yes but what does this have to do with eating shit

Same as the price of Katy Perry's shit in China.

Sharing your bed with the compleat cluster fuck of a human being that is Russel Brand is enough to disqualify all but the top top top women in the world.

Oh absolutely, me too.

I like how the VROOOing seems to get more obnoxious as the Roomba's impending doom approaches.

It's the only way a Roomba can scream for help.

I have no mouth and I must VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'll give you a present in return for all the hours of pleasure you've given me, Roomba. I'll finally allow you to kill yourself.

Rough chuckles... kinda... Missbee, you're just like Phillippe when he tries standup! Mining dark veins etc.!

Phillipe and I have a lot goin' on up in here (pointing to forehead). Lots of turmoil.

Did your house also dissolve in a 80s vector computer game style to fit the artistic vision of your author?

If this were a just universe this comment would have more chubbies than any other comment on the page.

Yeah, but it's wazza, so it doesn't. Dude's being born from a stone egg, or some such shit, and I hear he doesn't know Robert Johnson. Not that anybody does.

and lateadopter is all about Robert's Johnson.

(but seriously, dude made sacrifices to Legba which were misinterpreted by Christians as a pact with the devil. How could I not know that? You've got me on the egg, though)

the egg was on a mountaintop

nope, on a beach

equidistant from shag valley and all day bay. gotta love the antipodes.

I don't think Onstad likes the current story line either.

"It was his sled. It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you two long, boob-less hours."

Shoot, I just made that comment. I checked to see if someone already had by searching for "boobless" without the hyphen.

I like that scene. "I was upset because they had overcooked my Moon over My Hammies."

"And who stars in Biodome? Pauly Shore. PAULY SHORE!"

I don't like you cause now it looks as if I said it after you. :( Why can you not comment on cartoons like a normal person, you terrible person.

:(

(also what is going on with your avatar. I'm seriously curious)

That was my point with the above, where I pointed out that you made the comment before me. I'm not sure how this wasn't clear.

Can't....Can't we all just get along?

Family Guy! Thanks man! Ha! I love that baby Stewie!

That Stewie! Ha!

It was Peter Griffin you philistine.

Ha ha! Yeah!

Ha! I finally got it.

"You sing worse than a back of a knee" is easily applied to anyone who has been on Pop (or American) Idol.

I imagine if you applied enough sweat to the back of a knee, it could sound quite melodious.

Matmos made a whole album using nothing else.

Yay! Update!

brought to you by roomba? is roomba paying for this? he is on a donation drive, it does seem like a proper time to do a paid strip. i don't know!!

I'd go on an archive crawl there killer.

Why would you do that!?

n00b

How am i a n00b?!

"Only he who is not n00b has no need of asking how he is n00b."

LOL

geez dude i'm just asking questions here.. you know, human interaction!

LOL

Onstad periodically does Roomba comics, and has done so for a few years.

LOL

lol

where's that guy that blew up when someone just said "lol"..

oh, i'm still here, thank you for feigned interest.
ever since miss goblins ever so artfully extricated herself from my attentions i've been in a bit of doldrums. a time of white zinfandel and joanna newsom.
sigh. rest assured, this too will pass, why, school starts soon, doesn't it? all fresh knee socks and me with my pockets full of candy and a convincing story about a lost puppy! silly me! i...i must remember to look on the sunny side of life! why it's, it's...FRIDAY!
fuck your lols. lol is 137 caricatures less than a tweet. less than a tweet, is there even a measurement for something so devoid of content or meaning? oh, right, lol.
Ha! you bloated idiots keep on yammering with your precious lol, this man has a purpose! mainly at this point to whip up a thermos of 'surely mental' and cruise the back to school shoppers at the food court.

lol

Some people even fucking say lol. It is the saddest thing.

I chubbied that post once and I would chubby this one too, if I had any more to spend.

yeah i know he does them periodically and has done so for a few years! i knew that when I asked the original question. what does that have to do with whether or not Roomba is paying him to do them?

Well, I suppose people presumed you were asking due to ignorance of past Roomba content. I don't really think Roomba would pay to have their content advertised on a webcomic such as this one, because it would really not reach such a HUGE audience and thus would be an inefficient advertising strategy.

I originally dismissed the idea of Onstadt being paid by Roomba (or iRobot, the iMakers of iCleaning devices and iTazerTanks), but then I remembered something from History. Back when Chris hosted the brief AIM chatroom for all dozen Achewood fans, he mentioned at one time getting mailed a case of Ketel One, and did not know if it had been a promotion or a crazed fan. I do not know if he was being Serious.

So you're saying...he's really hoping someone will mail him a Roomba. His floors are dirty, and his baby is crying on them all alone etc

roomba should sponsor him
man is a genius when he isn't writing the last arc

These are clearly Teodore's flashbacks. The roomba noise is the sound of the van and then it is his protestation. There is a "bag" of "dicks" being "eaten". The desire for a limo... anything but the van. This strip is better, by far, than "Citizen Kane".

Exactly, plus he also has a "thing" with the word "sucks." And who wouldn't, after the back-of-the-van experience?

I had no idea of beef's depth as an actor, or has r.b. already reached a semi-concious Teodor?

Onstad's solution to having people complain about the lack of updates on the previous thread? Disable comments. Disabled comments on this Comic in 3...2...1...

People have been commenting for the last 12 hours. If anything, I suspect it was a temporary setback. Oh boo hoo hoo, Chris Onstad isn't writing enough comics for me, a bloo bloo bloo.

It was Louis C. K. who said "eat a bag of dicks" and it's still funny.

Louis C.K. was never funny.

I disagree.

And that is extremely untrue...

Who told you that? They're wrong.

How are you here? I would have imagined the Venn Diagram of Louis C.K. fans and Achewood fans had absolutely no room on the Achewood side.

I would also like to disagree.

It was SUCK a bang of dicks, incidentally. Not to split hairs about it or anything...

But how WOULD one suck a bag of dicks? Mr. CK postulates with a brutal and simple honesty not heretofore seen.

Be edified. Everybody.
LOUIS CK: SUCK A BAG OF DICKS

What were those people laughing about while the man in the video was talking into the microphone?

Have you sought out medical attention yet or do you need a hand with that?

Alternately, go suck it.

...truancy bot.

the sgt. grumbles strip was always my shit...

Huge slam on Louis CK out of nowhere

Perhaps out of Oklahoma.

What you did there. I see it.

Good. I'm glad.

Good? Good.

I'm not even going to pretend to get that and, as a benefit, will not care to think about what it could possibly mean.

chuppy for "Chuppies". Classic!

Guppy chuppy.

Presumably a 'bang of dicks' is the term for a herd of dicks, like a murder or crows. It's rather appropriate I feel.

surely a sack of dicks would be more appropriate

Onstad, back from the brink of megalomania.

Incidentally, despite having seen CK many times, I can only imagine Teodor in that tache talking like Vincent Price.

I really haven't felt happy coming to this page in many months and I finally do today.

It's not a popular opinion, but I think Citizen Kane was as boring as a boy with no kinks. Just one big yawn fest.

What if he had Ray Davies' solo stuff?

A plutocrat like Kane wouldn't have any interest in a Working Man's Cafe.

That's even worse, because it ain't that good.

Note to Onstad: Stop Your Sobbing, Give the People What They Want.

Class all the way--the movie just as I remember it, down to the Roombas. Well done.

A , would read again.

Did you know Assetbar deletes your plus symbols? Now you know, and you never have to experience my shame.

double

triple double

be careful, delving into the mysteries of what assetbar does with your submissions leads to the dark side

neonfreon is like max headroom

Coming Attractions: Roomba Cinema presents Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire?

I really want to see Roomba Cinema presents Heavyweights, because Heavyweights is my Citizen Kane.

Roomba Cinema Presents The Warriors, anyone?

howabout Roomba Cinema Presents like anything written by Tyler Perry. Maybe he'll even star in it. That would be just great. I love Tyler's sense of humour because it's really funny.

Tyler Perry's Roomba Theatre presents Tyler Perry's I Can Roomba Bad All by Myself starring Tyler Perry's Roomba

Ideal.

DAMN!

So Roombud was a floor vacuum the whole time? I guess money can by happiness!

http://www.myroombud.com/

This is great. I will start reading achewood again if there is more of this.

how did you see this if you had stopped reading achewood

how does walrus know what causality is

how are w and v the same

You are surely one of those German Walrus'.

Suggesting a phonetics based jape... as always a joke is best described in exacting detail in order to acheive the most hilarious impact.

Zey are ze ekkmen!

In der dirtiest part of ze city

Because he is operating from within a Douglas Hofstadter fable?

Gesundheit.

you're welcome

Danke.

I like to think Beef and Teodor had a big fight over whether to put a low phrase like "a thing" in the script for Citizen Kane. Teo delivers it with spite!

ha ha the whole nice pete thread was merely to set up the contrast this current strip enjoys. ha ha Onstad started planning this years ago.

lol

There is no god.

There is PROBABLY no god.

There is infinitessimally less than one god.

There are two gods approaching each other from a distance of 40 miles at a constant speed. The first god is travelling at a speed of 45 mph. The second god is travelling at a speed of 55 mph. At what point will there be no god?

One god is speeding down the railroad tracks. There is an intersection splitting the tracks in two. On one, there is a large family of strangers. On the other, is your one true love. You can only save one. Who will you sacrifice to your high-collision deity?

THERE ARE THREE GODDESSES

Farore, Din, and Nayru.

this really ought to be chuppied more

I know I chuppied it

I stand before my deity at the cross road and are hit at high speed, the god is derailed and both groups get to see just what religion can do to a person.

I went down to the cross road and fell down on my knees.

Do i know you? I don't think so.

Does anyone know this guy? Anybody?

Sorry man, nobody seems to know you.

We should probably just pass him by.

But don't make him cry.

BABY DON'T MAKE ME CRY

*invisible sweet-ass guitar solo*

Don't let him go on ships too often or he'll start getting fancy ideas about writing songs.

know him?

in the biblical sense?

Blink once if god, twice if no god.

You walrus seem to know just what to say.

ANOTHER Joanna Newsom reference? I fucking love Assetbar.

Ok this is good. I accept this.

Did Edith Wharton usually not wear pants?

Wouldn't Roombud turn around after it hit the fireplace the first time?

Talking stuffed animal, talking house cat, classic American cinema on vacuum cleaners.

Oh no arbitrary suspension of disbelief!

Oh!

It's a movie, silly. They paid that Roomba big money to not turn around.

That is, technically, what all we actors get paid to do.

...and in certain situations, the opposite.

Except when Der Kommissar is in town.

You do not want to know what I initially thought the last word was in Panel 11.

I'll give you the attention you so clearly want, as a pharmacist gives methadone: What did you think the last word was?

Oh. It really was rhetoric. I figured someone would read that last sentence and make the same smutty, five-year old styles joke. PRO-TIP: OOFS.

Damn, you were right all along.

I... I was?

We... we all were.

Indeed. I really didn't want to know. If only wootcannon had placed faith in your vision for our immediate future.

Hmmm. Sorry. I must be on my man-rag or something.

Heh. Man-rag. Apparently we do have cyclic hormonal cycles.

That's all. Carry on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnukuTwynwY

drink specials run on a lunar cycle in case you hadn't noticed...

tonight's special is 'the gobblins'
(ether on a rag, normally 75 cents)
$17, and all your left with is a pleasant childhood memory

So when do we get The Big Roombowski?

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS ONSTADT

*crash

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!!

Is this your Roomba, Larry? Is this your Roomba, Larry? Larry, is this your Roomba?

but what happens when you fuck a stranger in the assetbar?

That's a question for Tekende.

Is there actually a story to this? Like that Tekende boned a chick he only knew from assetbar?

'Cause that would be terrific.And I want to hear it.

I can't remember who it was but there was this one dude and chick who got together and she was pretty hot and he flew out to meat her and they posted pictures of themselves making out right here on assetbar well it was a flicker account but still they posted a link right here on assetbar. then a few hours later they realized it was a bad idea so they took down all of the makeout pictures except for one of them just kind of cooing at each other. here let me check my archive.... oh my god!!!! it WAS tekende!!!!

http://midconet.net/achewoodtest/tekende_bix.jpg

and the chick was bix_schmidt or some shit like that I forget how you spell her handle okay google... yeah here it is she was bixschmix

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/recent_comments?user=bixschmix

wow her last comment was 4 weeks ago

her assetbar profile lists her URL as:
http://www.janetjayonline.com/

hmm it has her CV there.. but she omitted the assetbar episode on her CV

DJ at WRCT 88.3 FM, host of the popular show %u201CLigers and Baobabs%u201D (2003-2007)

wtf. you can't make this stuff up.

He said "meat her." Huh-huh, huh, huh!

Deary me, I've been outcunted again. (sorry lateadopter not talkin to you - I cant reply directly to blocked people).

PS. Tekende sometimes wears a fedora.

outcunted again?! Can't you be better at cunting, if that's what you think important?

Sort of cute, in a Tina Fey kind of way I guess. Tekende has a beard and is from the anti-matter universe.

damn. son, you've stuck your foot in it this time but there's no other path but the one you've taken. You asked for a bit of gossip and the mother of all gossip whores is gonna tell you all about it. You just discovered daddy's cigarettes and now your going to smoke the whole pack, one after the other. never again will you go onto the internet or into the public square without looking over your shoulder. Nothing you do in public is private and none of it will be forgotten. Did I mention that everywhere is public? Every picture ever taken of you, every transaction, every post to every website, your shopping preferences, your taste in music, movies, politics as well as drink and sexual interests are instantly updated to u-tube, on-star and the three major credit bureaus. You heard 'brown sugar' shopping at the safeway and the picked up a box of cajun rice mix. The cameras and credit card confirm this. Your file at marketing has been updated. The next time you walk by the delta cafe you'll be tweeted an invite for a po' boy sandwich and a mint julip....You might wonder... how did they know?...
They know, they won't forget, and eventually you will thank them.

no this is what happens when you go skiing IN THE ALPS

NO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FEED A STRANGER SCRAMBLED EGGS

The cast:
The Dude: Ray
Mr. L: Iorwerth
Donny: Todd
Walter: Lyle
The Jesus: Nice Pete
The Nihilists: Cartilage Head, Roast Beef, Taffy
Brandt: Tacodor
The Stranger: Ramses
Bunny: Polly
The Thugs: Emeril and Spongebath
Philippe: Hello!
Maude: Molly

I think I spent a tad too much time on this, but... I think it could be a thing.

Uh excuse me but if you ain't gives us the money I will cut off such as your johnson I mean we don't believe in anything you know

Cartilage Head all gesturing toward his junk and weeping.

Taffy with his foot bandaged

Who's g-g-got your undies, Lyle?

I love what you've done. I think Ramses would make a mean Walter though, so I would probably have Lyle play the dick. Nightlife would make great Stranger and I would like to see Showbiz in it too, maybe as Knox Harrington, the Video Artist. Also Jackie Treehorn, since Ray is taken, could be well portrayed by Benjamin Butters.

Philippe: Hello! is worth a chubby in itself.

I particularly liked the casting of Phillipe. I honestly think Teodor would make a great Walter. Just because he has the filthiest mouth in town.

THAT'S ONE THING YOU CAN'T SAY IN HEAVEN.

No no, Knox Harrington the video artist needs to be played by Pat.

"Just a friend of Molly's."
"Her friend with the cleft asshole?"

Great call on Nightlife as the Stranger though!

Good lord how could I successfully forget Pat?

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