Philippe the Talking Toilet

Philippe the Talking Toilet 08/30/2004 « prev 1st rand curr next »

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God bless children because they wish to share love and fun and have no sense of the private.

today i had a kid go in to a room with his mom while she was havin her pap smear...and she was totally down with it

This is my 4th walk through the archive and you are consistently one of my favorite commenters. I felt you should know this. It is my DECISION.

Wait a minute, he has no way of ever getting any money! Maybe he should commit suicide!

He's just readin' it outa that newspaper he's holdin', not ayin' HE wants one.

Perfect since we all know it has the gas milage of an oil fire and it handles like a Best Western.

5 for the line "Hello! I am the toilet!"

It is what I would say if I were a toilet.

Well, it wouldn't make much sense to say "Hello! I am your new Sony HD DVD player!" now would it?

No, but I wish electronic appliances did talk to us.

My DVD player's LCD says "hELLO" and "gOOdbyE" when I turn it on and off.

I suppose it might do the same for other people but I like to think it's just me.

My MP3 player ain't nearly as formal, it just says 'BYE' when I turn it off.

The nerve.

I have a pretty good way of keeping my personal effects streamlined. If a machine wishes me a good-bye, I assume it wants to commit seppuku and that I should be its second.

My car stereo gives very slow messages whenever anything happens. When you turn it off it tells you to have a safe trip and enjoy driving.

I imagine someone reading the whole message, not watching the road, and getting into a horrible wreck as a result. Five people die.

Why is it that manners and politeness lead to the most careless deaths.. yet we continue to teach them to our children. Such a jaded and backward society we live in

I once had a CD player in my car that, whenever the battery was disconnected and I would have to re-enter the security code, would tell me to "go play in traffic" if I tried to use it without first giving it the code. It had some brass balls on it, that stereo.

aha now you do:
http://www.apple.com/ipodshuffle/
except it needs to go talk in support group about AIDS

Well, Sony backed Blu-ray, so yeah that ain't too likely.

Why. Why is Phillipe busting in on Cornelius on the toilet all the time. I suppose the older gents do tend to take a bronze age or two to complete a Movement. Just odds on I guess.

Because he just gets annoyed without getting mean like Lyle or T�odor would.

There was an 8-year old in my house for many months who would do the same thing. It wasn't that anyone took a long time, it's just that little kids either don't care about privacy or they're terrified that they're going to miss something exciting whenever there's a closed door.

Those are my theories, anyway. They kept me from strangling the little blighter.

He didn't walk in on him this time, he was already there... Waiting.

ooohh you're right, chubby for conveying the creepy.

I've used this before and it gets me so much tail you would not believe it

In what context could that possibly get you 'tail'? "Hi! I'm Norman. Coincidentally, I am also the toilet!"

It basically operates along the whole "seeing a lady on the side of the road with car trouble and pull over to help her" attitude. You're there to help in tough and embarassing times. Chicks go bugshit for that stuff.

Spinynorman witnesses a tough and embarrasing time in the opposite sex's bathroom and gets tail for it(?)

He's there in the bathroom with them, ready with a Knowing Smile when they need it.

It's true. Nobody should smoke. He speaks the truth.

Anyone who wants to should smoke.

Your assertion of free will is considered lame.

This is the world we live in

ohwohoh

and these are the hands we're given.

I want to and I shouldn't.

I want to live in a world run by Phillipe

You and your 5-year-old leader would be lunchmeat in about a week, but it would be the best week of your meek lives.

Weekend Blogs

Ray: Waterbury=Swiss Army Knife
Philippe: Boy, is it hard to be good!
Mr. Bear: Difficulties abound.
Little Nephew: sup sup Miz Gerry

Today's Blogs

Roast Beef: Man what is wrong at Jack in the Box
Teodor: oh damn so good
Lyle: busy week
Molly: Sweet Old Mr. Bear!
Onstad: Full English Breakfast redux.
Nice Pete: A Book

(A fine day in blogging as A Wonderful Tale commences!)

And of course this news flash was brought to you by the fine folks at Reuters.

Admonished, Phillipe resorts to the magazine adverts he thoughtfully brought in with him for further subject matter.

FAVORITE STRIP!!!

Ray's toilet should be telling him about the Caddy sale.

I am the toilet. Goo goo goo joob.

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