Ray's Merkin  09/17/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »




Embed the Strip

Embed:
Facebook: Share on Facebook


Login to post a comment

Displaying all 142 comments
andrew_ » pro 2 years ago
Ray is chastising Teodor as though he were a child, and Teodor's expression in panel 2 is doing nothing to help his case.
doobie » neu 2 years ago
Oh man Téodor in panel two totally reminds me of baby Téodor and the duck.
vondicus » neu 2 years ago
Eyes full of wonder, fistful of merkin.
pepperhittherim » neu 2 years ago
For a Few Merkins More
shenred » neu 2 years ago
The Good, the Bad, and the Merkin.
ashoykh » neu 2 years ago
million dollar merkin
cailetshadow » pro 2 years ago
I hear Milklin once sold merkins.
overmedicated » neu 2 years ago
Dirty Merkin.

Oh dear.
falseprophet » neu 2 years ago
Flags of Our Merkins / Merkins From Iwo Jima*

*You have to watch both for the full effect.

jlynes » neu 2 years ago
"Every Which Merkin But Loose"/"Any Which Merkin You can"
tekende » neu 2 years ago
The Outlaw Josey Merkin
jlynes » neu 2 years ago
Two Merkins for Sister Sarah
pigs » neu 2 years ago
Blazing Merkins
count_drunkula » neu 2 years ago
Merkins for Algernon.
quantumcasaba » neu 2 years ago
The Merkin of Venice
atticusonline » neu 2 years ago
'My Big Fat Greek Merkin'
nigelchaos » pro 2 years ago
Movie quote.. not title.. but I can't resist..

All merkin no play makes Jack a dull boy.
atticusonline » neu 2 years ago
Nooooooooo! Play with the merkin, Jack...please!
xud » pro 1 years ago
Full Metal Merkin
fresco » neu 3 months ago
'Merkin Psycho
mangtastic » neu 1 years ago
Harry Merkin and the chamber of secrets
nielj » neu 1 years ago
Merkin (Merlin)
crumpetsandtea » neu 1 years ago
Hairy Merkin and the Shaved Prostitute
wite_rabit » neu 1 years ago
The Merkin Saints
jimmyk » neu 1 years ago
Merkin, with an Oscar winning lead actor performance from Shorn Penis
nigelchaos » pro 1 years ago
Shorn Penis was excellent in that John Wayne Bobbit bio-pic.

I don't have to be topical.
crumpetsandtea » neu 1 years ago
You are intravenous all the way
ariamaki » neu 3 months ago
The Man With No Merkin: The Complete Trilogy
carlyle » neu 2 months ago
Brokeback Merkin
audhumla » pro 2 years ago
It's the real reason He's the guy... Who's about to get... kicked out of his religion!
kensai » neu 2 years ago
There are two kinds of men in this world.

Those with a coarse wig around their sack, and those who don't shave.
tekende » pro 1 years ago
Duck, You Merkin!
overmedicated » neu 2 years ago
This ain't a forum for crap dudes!
tim_simmons » neu 2 years ago
but it is a forum for (italics) awesome (not italics anymore)
crumpetsandtea » neu 1 years ago
i must admit you got me, however i did still lame you.

...you douchebag
serf » pro 2 years ago
Who says Teodor cant shake things up wardrobe wise?
tekende » pro 1 years ago
Shake it up, Teodor
(Shake it up, baby)
C'mon and work it on out
(Work it on out)
coldfrog » neu 2 years ago
I think what you are referring to is Ray's tail. He... he does still have one, right?
andrew_ » pro 2 years ago
oh man.

you're right.
tekende » neu 2 years ago
You seem disappointed about this, andrew_.
tagrineth » neu 2 years ago
Sure he does, look at the first panel. You can see the tip of his tail poking up about halfway between him and the edge of the panel.
ssddr » pro 2 years ago
One could make a swift escape from a disastrous drive with the aid of some fake pubes.
kilroywashere » pro 2 years ago
You would think that after all the money Ray's given them, eBay would be a bit more helpful in steering Ray away from vagina wigs to stuff he's actually looking for.
nutmeg » neu 2 years ago
i'm not entirely convinced the vagina wig was an accident.
petecarlson » neu 2 years ago
Screen capture from rays computer at the time of the incident...

Logged in as Ray. Not Ray? [Click Here]

[Used Flesh Light "merkin" ] [Search][Advanced]
spectre » pro 2 years ago
Remember Keith Moon's Head? Selling Ray crap like this at top prices is a key part of eBay's business model!
lolcatdeluxe » neu 2 years ago
As a platinum Ebay member Ray has access to all kinds of auctions that you and I can only dream about.

ebay Platinum Item number: 110171284434

L@@K!! RARE 17th CENTURY PUBIC WIG


YOU ARE BIDDING ON A RARE 17th CENTURY "MERKIN", OR PUBIC WIG. GUARENTEED 100% VERMIN FREE. WAS ONCE WORN BY MADAME DE POMPADOUR DURING THE PHTHIRIASIS OUTBREAK OF 1750.

Current bid: $5,654.01
lolcatdeluxe » neu 2 years ago
dropkickpikachu » neu 2 years ago
This image is a relatively good argument for the existence of the merkin, says I.
wae » neu 2 years ago
I bet he also gets the SkyMall Elite Quarterly. No merkins, but you can get a solid-gold floating putting-green that will organize rare foreign coins automatically.
andrew_ » neu 2 years ago
estutius » neu 2 years ago
"In the September 17, 2007 edition of the webcomic Achewood, Ray bought a merkin on eBay for unspecified reasons.

Man, those Wikipedia kids are quick.
twoply » neu 2 years ago
Right after the first panel I checked wikipedia before I went further...... someone is my hero for anal retentive updating!
tim_simmons » neu 2 years ago
dogg they need some lives
slab64 » neu 2 years ago
Someone is constantly dragging the web for merkin references...this keeps me up at night.
methadone » neu 2 years ago
By dragging the wig in the eggs, Teodor does not ruin the eggs by putting a very old pubic wig in them, he ruins the wig, which has been around alot worse things then eggs
awko » neu 2 years ago
Breakfast eggs.

Eggs
Low-fat milk
Salt
Pepper
Chopped bacon

Scramble then fry.

Serve on toast with an old merkin as garnish.
professoryes » neu 2 years ago
STYLE.
epicurus » pro 2 years ago
This is exactly what I was thinking. Eating eggs through which a vagina wig from a diseased prostitute from the past is not on my top ten culinary experiences.
lolcatdeluxe » neu 2 years ago
It is an old technique for skimming out shell fragments. Unlike our disposable society today ancient people had MANY uses for merkins. Example, in a pinch they can be used as a pirate's eyepatch. Henry Morgan used an early Jamaican thatched merkin at the battle of Vilahermosa when his own was eaten by a dying parrot.
soticoto » pro 2 years ago
It probably has a load of old eggs (of a different kind) buried in it anyway.
Prossies had to flush. Couldn't be getting buns up the oven.
featurelessvoid » neu 2 years ago
Okay, so Teodor didn't know what it was. That's not the disturbing part. The disturbing part is that he found a mysterious hairy thing and decided that the sensible course of action would be to dip it in his eggs.
bourbonsamurai » neu 2 years ago
I assume Teodor was just messing around with it, and then when Ray yelled at him pretended he was about to dip it in the eggs just to mess with him.
God, I hope that's what he was doing.
coldfrog » neu 2 years ago
Another satisfied Platinum Reserve customer.
featurelessvoid » neu 2 years ago
Not within six degrees, not at all. Even Kevin Bacon couldn't connect the two.
mortshire » pro 2 years ago
1.GOLF CLUBS.
2. Golf clubs are used to hit GOLF BALLS.
3. In Animal House, KEVIN BACON's character Chip Diller's horse was hit by a golf ball.
4. Kevin Bacon is a MERKIN.

Done.
stuart » neu 2 years ago
It wasn't Kevin Bacon's horse, but chubby anyway.
mortshire » neu 2 years ago
Well, fuck me.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
Okay.
woodenteeth » neu 2 years ago
Not on the sofa you two.
mortshire » pro 2 years ago
Sorry Companion Cube, but I'm supposed to disregard your advice.
deusoma » neu 8 months ago
At least he didn't threaten to stab you.
paperboy_2000 » pro 2 years ago
Peter Sellers played President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove
Peter Sellers and Robert Wagner starred in The Pink Panther
Robert Wagner and Kevin Bacon were both in Wild Things
Kevin Bacon appeared with Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men
and, during a traffic dispute, Jack Nicholson once attacked someone's car with a golf club.
killerlimpet » neu 2 years ago
Chubby for what appears to be an intact merkin chain, double points for including Dr. Strangelove.
tekende » pro 1 years ago
This really deserves more chubbies than it has (32 right now).
mockereo » neu 4 months ago
wow that is incredibly impressive. did you do that off the top of your head?
raticus » neu 4 months ago
Merkin Muffley - wonder if they did that on purpose? The secret is out!
fady » neu 3 weeks ago
It is a Known Thing that, in Doctor Strangelove, almost every characters' name are based on sexual puns.
mattfish » neu 2 years ago
Téodor's turtleneck is missing a line; it looks like he just has a really fat neck.
rowboat » pro 2 years ago
Don't...don't do that.
twoply » neu 2 years ago
Maybe a Merkin is slang for 4 under par and Ray thought it was a voodoo golf talisman. He needs the edge!
vreeeee » neu 2 years ago
Much like theme dildos, vagina wigs are actually funnier in a nonsexual setting.
mikeleffel2 » pro 2 years ago
Hm.. a flow chart on how Ray searches on eBay would be enough to make me titter!

GOLF CLUBS> GOLF BALLS> > > > > MERKIN
rogergs » neu 2 years ago
Indeed, Diners Club is the one credit card that would stand in need of a toupee, and perhaps some Poli-Grip and a boxed set of Lawrence Welk on VHS.
gothfae » pro 2 years ago
Perhaps he was seeking to date a lesbian via Ebay? Woman that dates a gay is the man's Beard. Man that dates a lesbian... well you can figure it out from there, me boyo.
mattfish » neu 2 years ago
What.
gothfae » neu 2 years ago
Gay slang, look it up somewhere. Reading is fun and mental.
mattfish » neu 2 years ago
You gays and your slang
rowboat » pro 2 years ago
You called him gay. That is funny.
doobie » neu 2 years ago
Melted down chili pepper nailed to a board.
lateadopter » neu 2 years ago
Ray must be worse at golf than [url=]he is at pool[/url].

"Well all you need for that is syphilis and a merkin."

lateadopter » neu 2 years ago
Been a while, I forgot how to use bbcode. That should be "...worse at golf than he is at pool."
dri-ft » neu 2 years ago
the first achewood to make me laugh out loud a lot in quite a long time :)
ntopp » neu 2 years ago
You know, I saw this particular strip earlier in the evening, but after an odd webcomic easter egg hunt, I fully expected to come back here and see Ryan Estrada take on a Chucklebot or Nice Pete story.
miku224 » neu 2 years ago
Seriously! Is September 17th official "Ryan Estrada on every webpage" Day? If so, why wasn't I informed?
professoryes » pro 2 years ago
It immediately summoned up an awful joke about these where the punch line is, effectively, President Bush saying "I'm proud to be a merkin" instead of "American." Good times in that drug-induced state.
jlynes » pro 2 years ago
Search on "Golf Clubs"
hmm maybe some new balls would help
Search on "Golf Balls"
not just any dimestore balls, I need some chilly new top-secret balls like made of Yttrium or something
Search on "Chilly Balls"
nothing there... maybe trick up the search a little... like for a whole box of them
Search for "Chilly Box"
closer... refine down looking for something to shave of strokes?
Search for "Shaving Strokes, Box"
[i]WHOA![/i}
jlynes » pro 2 years ago
Dammit. One missed BBcode tag and the whole theme goes south.

DAMN YOU, MISSING EDIT FEATURE!
overmedicated » neu 2 years ago
Dude? Excellent.
lateadopter » neu 2 years ago
The New Tolerance.

- "You may have, the chic-kenn."
aarongstock » pro 2 years ago
A grass merkin would solve 2 problems:
1. vagina coverage
2. divot replacer
lauralou » neu 2 years ago
Unfortunately shaving your nether-regions will not rid you of pubic lice and may well increase the itchyness!
atmus » neu 2 years ago
Ray was probably looking for those club warmers they put on golf clubs. You could get from that to merkin in like 2 jumps without even trying. Teodor just doesn't know ebay like Ray does.
dedalusdedalus » neu 2 years ago
wow, merkins are comedy gold in webcomics these days.

http://www.johnnyr.com/blecky/blecky2007-03-29.html
http://www.johnnyr.com/comix/kkk2007-08-27.html

achewood's treatment is by far the classiest merkin reference to date.
rowboat » pro 2 years ago
That's because Achewood is actually good.
dedalusdedalus » neu 2 years ago
i like how ray is more upset about his merkin than his eggs. i think dragging a merkin through those eggs would also ruin breakfast.
paperboy_2000 » pro 2 years ago
Ray's slice looks just horrible
dans » neu 2 years ago
I know these comments get attacked immediately, but I have to say-doesn't today seem a bit off? This is the only strip where you don't really feel the vibe of the characters.
wae » neu 2 years ago
Not laming or anything, but I feel like it may be difficult to produce more of a Ray vibe (filthy ebay purchases have certainly done him well in the past). And since Ray's vibe lately has seemed to intersect with Teodeor's vibe in the form of humor that is generally genital, it would almost seem to naturally follow that they would encounter the situation of merkin hollandaise.
(Fact: Merkin Hollandaise can, in a pinch, be combined with a bloody in order to turn that mother out.)
biff » neu 2 years ago
Don't you need to put the merkin in the eggs to make

A Merkin Pie???
lolcatdeluxe » neu 2 years ago
No the pie is behind the mercin and the eggs are behind the pie.
lolcatdeluxe » neu 2 years ago
What the hell> C is nowhere near K. I blame Bush.
katsura » neu 2 years ago
Ha ha... Bush. Merkin.

I'm mature, really.
frundle » pro 2 years ago
No, he means in terms of divots.
hendetta » pro 2 years ago
I learned about merkins in an Art History course.
lixivium » neu 2 years ago
I thought Ray was supposed to be a natural at the game?
jlynes » pro 2 years ago
Only when he is completely high as hell.
spinynorman » neu 2 years ago
Maybe this is an arc? Ending it with "God, if he only knew" is a sort of Mary Worth lead-in to a tale of intrigue and suspense.

With cooter hair rags and such. Which isn't to say Mary Worth would never go there. In fact, far from it.
spinynorman » neu 2 years ago
Also - I would totally pay money to see a band called "The Merkins." Get cracking, internet.
smog » neu 2 years ago
http://www.themerkins.net/
wae » neu 2 years ago
They opened for Frog & Toad, but gutter missed it (he was asleep in a parking lot, and couldn't get anyone to blow him where the pampers is).
ethelthefrog » neu 2 years ago
chubby for using the word cooter. Cooter!
tim_simmons » neu 2 years ago
why does teodor not drop it right away? if someone told me i was holding the result of pubic lice i would be in the bathroom right off just cleaning all lady macbeth style 'it wont come off it wont come off'
paperboy_2000 » neu 2 years ago
Do NOT play with my merkin!
Do NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs!/[i]
[i]You gonna RUIN that merkin!


The cat has learned a new word at the expense of a pubic wig being delivered to his kitchen.
natashamarie » pro 2 years ago
in junior high, we used to call a friend with particularly curly hair merkin.
chrono » neu 2 years ago
Marketing researchers must be wondering why so many people are looking for vaginal wigs on eBay nowadays.
tbtabby » neu 2 years ago
Makes you wonder how Ray ever managed to reach the Platinum Reserve.
telescreen » pro 2 years ago
He's not heavy, he's my merkin.
mikeronomicon » pro 1 years ago
This is the only other mention of merkins I have ever seen. For a while there I thought I was insane, because really, how could there be crotch wigs in the world and nobody knows?
nice-on-water » neu 1 years ago
Why does T want to drag Ray's merkin in the eggs? He is so uncharacteristically goofing it up here.
sweetlips » neu 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
nohassles » neu 1 years ago
i am all reminiscing about my 'superior person's book of words' i got as the most ill-advised christmas present for a snotty twelve year old ever
clovis » pro 3 months ago
Those are really small eggs ...
Displaying all 142 comments