The Transatlantic Cable

The Transatlantic Cable 02/19/2008 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Brunel's diagram shows strong, shirtless men swabbing the cable with great double-handfuls of dogs.

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All I Need To Know I Learned From Achewood

oh god i mean Everything

I'm not the one that lamed you, but I too am pretty tired of that line.

393rd

Ah, old females.

there is a lot of them out there.

She meant to post it on that...new strip...which no one has posted on yet. What?

"she" was accusing me of rushing so hard to make the first post on this strip that i made a mistake and then playing it off with a cute reply to my own post. it was pretty clever

When Poing does it, I chubby him/her.

Sure, others might be doing it with just the same amount of ironic merit, but my reasoning for the playing favourites is faultless.

What's that? What's my reasoning? Mind yo place son and don't be talkin now

I went to lame this and found I already had

no, you are not.

the denizens of achewood assetbar call for "a history of the world, Achewood Edition".

edited by Pat. Foreword by Phillippe. or Lie Bot.

Ray has a way ruder stovepipe hat than Mr. Brunel.

the rudest.

Indeed. Also, his sideburns are pretty epic.

I think maybe the mark of a quality man in those days was based upon the height of his stovepipe hat and the lushness of his sideburns.

This is why everyone loves Lincoln.

I like that picture, makes him so inhumanly stoic. A Painted tin figure of himself stared at by a scheming prospector.

"I'll git'cher hat, Mister Lin-kun. Sure enough I'll git it.."

You have to understand, this is in a time when pictures were not a common medium. To have your picture taken with the president was a big deal, big enough to worry about the details- well, should he be touching the president or not? Surely no common man should be shaking hands with President Lincoln in a photograph." It would have been as over-analyzed as any celebrity paparazzi shots are now. Better to make it inoffensive and stoic than incite a riot. Plus, the man was trying to unite a nation divided. He couldn't be too friendly in photographs with Yankees, as not to inspire Rebel blood to boil.

Or did I just over-analyze?

Yeah I think it is more his waistcoat personally.

Makes him look hell of gaunt.

Skinny dude, that Lincoln.

I think he may be trying to play off the fact that he's a little worried; those dudes could be reachin for their tiny revolvers.

Fuck man, that "Lincoln and Two Dudes Possibly Carrying Tiny Revolvers" represents hell of foreshadowing:

Alright I'm done with the Lincoln pictures, sorry.

dude too soon

even I had to chubby this

even the notorious dwodles had to chubby this

If I had a chubby for you -- by God you'd have deserved it.

Well met. Forsooth, I have no more chubbies, but thou deserveth one.

our first and last giant president

It happened to me by accident. I just started subconsciously replacing 'hella' with 'hell of' in everyday speech.

It is not a word invented by Achewood.

Well, none of the words in the sentence fragment "hell of such as" have been invented by Onstad, but he's made them do some wonderful things.

My point was that it is not odd that "hella" would have been a regularly used part of someone's vocabulary prior to reading Achewood.

The thing is, 'hella' isn't actually an abbreviation of 'hell of', which means the latter phrase has no grammatical basis. This improves it.

Lies.

Truths.

"Oh.. today's Cyrell's bday.. we hella sang her happy birthday at the spot %u2026" what the hell kind of name is cyrell? at the spot? am i the only one amused by this?

Well, to be precise, it was not originally so. I think the derivation of the term comes from Los Angeles "L.A." being turned into "Hell A." (Hella) under the presmise that everything is special in some hell-like fashion in Los Angeles. Therefore if something was "Hella tall" it would be very tall like things in this Hell-aspect of Los Angeles.

Frankly I think that's an incredibly stupid origin but phrases can't choose their parents.

I'm going to come right out and say it... I think that's a bit of a stretch.

Wow. I was under the impression that it was an abbreviation of "hellaciously."

or possibly a contraction of "hell of a" as in, "hell of a big explosion" which would explain how "hell of" is a alternative to "hella"

While I respect, and enjoy, the study of the English language and it's many subdivisions, pinpointing the exact start of a saying is always going to be hazy. Multiple reasonable explanations will always be equally viable in my book.

i think that all interested in this subject should read The Unfolding of Language by Guy Deutscher. etymology is something more than a hobby of mine and i found this a pretty good read.

I'm sorry, but please do not associate "hella" with anything Southern Californian; that is a Northern Californian thing. I know it's stupid to get upset about, but...c'mon, man.

not odd. but questionable. disregard it: i was taking out my drunken bitterness on a comment section for an online comic.

[quote="buttermoths"]Well, none of the words in the sentence fragment "hell of such as" have been invented by Onstad, but he's made them do some wonderful things.[/quote]

It goes to show that while you can't teach an old dog new tricks, you if you put four old dogs together.

Oh well, try something new, assetbar has its way with my ass. hate.

Just for future reference, it's like this:

[ quote ] This is a quote. [ /quote ]

Without the extra spaces, obviously. Happy quoting!

Quote:

[ quote ] This is a quote. [ /quote ]

Without the extra spaces, obviously. Happy quoting!

Thanks.

(that is to say, now I will be quoting everything.)

Quote:

Thanks.

No problem.

It held a position in mine.

Until now...

People from No. Cal. use "hella" unironically. Like it was given to them through their mother's milk. It's an odd thing.

In central Missouri, we say it hella mad real (for the kids).

CoMo?

cobalt molybdenum

add those to a chromium-nickel alloy and you get hell of heat and creep resistance.

Yeah, actually :)

Yes, cobalt molybdenum. But also Columbia, Missouri. Cromar, are you from there?

Ooh! Ooh! I am!

I am there right now.

Dang, we should definitely get the Missouri Chapter set up, though I have a feeling that there'll only be a few of us and it'll probably annoy/bore the piss out of the others here. Anyway, Missouri Acheworlders, sound off. I'm in STL, but I stop through sometimes. Maybe we can summit at Shake's at some point.

Have you guys ever been to the arch? I've never been to Missouri but I heard some things bout that arch.

If I were standing on my roof, I'd be looking right at it. Haven't actually been up in it since Small Times, but I think it has to be one of the most interesting and beautiful useless structures in North America. I'm glad it's there.

Quote:

[I]t has to be one of the most interesting and beautiful useless structures in North America.

(emphasis mine)

I say we force everyone moving by land from east to west of the Mississippi to travel through the arch.

I'm thinking we should force westbound air travel through it, too, because otherwise upstart dirigible ferry businesses would exploit this loophole.

And machine guns. There should be machine guns.

I've been up in the Arch a number of times, but it's been several years. I pass through STL semi-regularly, however, so I see it fairly often. There's a pretty awesome Married to the Sea that features it, I'm looking in the archives for it.

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/110207/home-of.gif

Hey, you Missouri guys are all right. I was kidding and here you go making me want to go waste some Sky Miles. No wonder they call Missouri the Missouri state.

It's "the Show-Me" state. Truly a versatile sentiment, e.g.:

SHOW ME THE MONEY!
SHOW ME (or Charlie Murphy) YOUR TITTIES!
SHOW ME THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION, UNFETTERED BY THE CHAINS OF THE BOURGOIS SWINE!

etc. etc.

i used to check my norcal speech and consciously avoid saying hella. achewood has inspired me to embrace it.

It's a cute little quirk if it slips into everyday speech. One of those ways that NoCal tries to differentiate itself from the rest of the state. In the few years I sojourned up there the East Bay and Peninsula accents I never ceased to find amusing. Ray, to me, sounds like one of those dudes from North Oakland that always wear a beanie. You guys are so darling some times!

Cute or not though, I intend to keep stealing your water.

The people who buy those god-damned screeching mufflers that play the exact pitch capable of vibrating the brain such that the listener convulses with rage and vomits blood?

I sure as hell hope Ray isn't one of them.

No, Ray's from a bit closer to the hills than the dudes with the mufflers. I think Ray's accent is from just east of Telegraph in North Oakland.

um. that's my water. i am from oregon and that is my water. god fucking dammit.

I don't think we steal much Oregon water. There's too much crystal meth in it for general consumption.

well played.

you can steal as much of our water as you like, as sacto is actually the capital of crystal meth production for the US.

(speaking of cuteness, your duck is hella precious. let's be friends.)

No problem! It is a scientific fact that baby ducks are the cutest thing in the universe.

thats cause their mother's milk was full of THC

Yeah, we hella do it all the time. In New York, they do similar things with the word "fuck", or so I hear.

I pretty much use the word fuck in every sentence. Including conversations with my fuckin' mother, yo.

I've never used either in everyday speech, but now... I might find that I'd better use it. It's hell of impractical to try and get around without using it now, I find. I want to say Hell of all the time. Is there an AA equivalent yet?

My friends have picked up "hell of" and other Achewood-isms through me. None of them read Achewood.

I hate my friends.

yeah all friends use "puzzled on the brew" to describe drunkenness. none of them have read achewood. they think i'm clever and i let them believe it because i don't want to say "yeah, i got that from this online comic".

*all MY friends* i meant. i'm sure other friends say different things sometimes maybe.

then they are not your friends.

Oddly enough, not necesserily true.

I saw a Nova on this exact thing last week. This is an accurate portrayal of what genuinely happened.

Also: Is Ray wearing fake muttonchop-style sideburns? If so, that's fun.

Oh, those old things?

Ray is from... history!

The Achewood Generator is at it again!

19th century figures and events disgusting, appalling, and bizarre abuse of animals = Achewood

Yeah, looking back, that sums every single one of them up.

It seems assetbar doesn't like the " " or "plus sign," or maybe I just totally fucked up.

I also blame my bad insurance rate on assetbar, along with the curious odor my socks have recently begun emitting. It is also why puppies cry sometimes, for no reason. They just know assetbar is out there.

yeah man, addition just straight disappears.

if that is assetbar's dirtiest secret, i will be surprised.

Assetbar smuggles class A drugs in your car.

Assetbar once beat a man to death on the steps of a church.

this one time i saw Assetbar punching a kitten in the throat.

Assetbar left my mama and me on the side of the road. Mama said he wasn't comin' back. Mama never told a lie.

Let me tell you a story, maids and fellows.

Once when I saw a little orphan girl sitting on a stoop in the poorest neighbourhood in a heartless town. She had just spent her last penny on an ice cream cone, and spent the whole day prior to this begging at the local churches and charity organisations to get what she imagined a nice dress with which to justifiably enjoy this frozen treat. A simple dress of red and white - but to her, an elegant gown not unfamiliar to ballrooms of Nice and Milan. She had washed her face at the public toilets, cleaned her fingernails, and gone to the ice cream shoppe to purchase her rare treat in a childhood sorely lacking in child-like freedom.

There she was sitting, watching the vanilla drips sliding down the cone towards her fresh hand, utterly epitomising innocent and gleeful anticipation.

When suddenly! Out from the depths of Tartarus and through the darkest of alleys and byways came two unruly and untrusting rogues! Pay careful attention, dear reader, for their form shall not be discussed - no, only the depths of their horrible depravity.

I tremble as I tell you, dear reader, of what happened next.

The first of the cretins marched up to the still, at this point, innocent little girl and - behold! - swiped the ice cream cone from her hand! With the poor urchin not yet crying from shock, the second rogue mercilessly began tossing AOL boot disks into her face until she fell over backwards. And then - I hesitate from pain, dear reader - the first of these rogues...gluttonously ate the ice cream cone in front of her.

I am here to tell you, readers one and all, that the first of these horrible men, the one who stole and gorged on a poor orphan girl's first ice cream, was none other than Assetbar.

And the second villain, the one who abused her just long enough for the fulfilment of her torment to arrive, was also Assetbar.

I say this as a warning, dear readers. Be wary.

(Shamelessly stolen and altered from the guy from Sam and Fuzzy.)

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