Fuck You Friday September Twenty-First

Fuck You Friday September Twenty-First 09/21/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Hot dumbasses with card tables are the scourge of our nation's retail entryways.

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look at him...covering his head from all the Fuck You's zinging by!

Fuck all those nineteen year olds, they better have the sense to cover their head when a chair man comes by.

No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever.

dick

Says the twenty year old!

wow. the title of this strip just made me realize that tonight will be the 21st night of september. i want to have an earth wind and fire dance party tonight. who's with me?

I'm with you, let's do this. Freakin' Stars always stealing the night away.

Ba~de~ya
Say do you remember
Ba~de~ya
Dancin' in September
Ba~de~ya
Never was a cloudy da-a-a-ay....

Thank you kind, Elite Beat Agents, for exposing this under-funked white kid to that most soulful tune.

As a child I was pretty convinced the lyrics were:

Hay-ee-yay
Say that you remember
Hay-ee-yay
The Galaxy Defender.

I always wondered who the Galaxy Defender was, and why nobody remembered him.

That's called a mondegreen.

my own personal mondegreen:
the "partridginapear" tree

someone else please tell me they thought this until they were approximately 14 years old :(

i feel like that's a little too different to be a mondegreen. i think that's just a misheard lyric, plain and simple.

still chubbied for "the more you know" and for even knowing what a mondegreen is.

too busy having my 19th birthday

dude, not only would there be an awesome EWF party, but this is also the date I turned 18, making this comic very dear to my heart, as Ray told a character who is 18 feel very bad about being that age. Ray told my charicature to fuck off. AWESOME.

i majored in english. I'm never gonna get that chair!

I'm majoring in english and i basically never get up ever.

I'm majoring in English, too. I currently own one chair.

But it's not a nice one =\

I'm also an English major! I have a nice chair,but...my mommy gave it to me. Additionally: no chair at work. Who knew that my love for literature would condemn me to such a seatless life?

as a theatre major with minors in art and music, I can only
a. act like i have the chair
b. draw the chair
or c. play a song about a chair.

the theatre program at my school is actually quite good. I'm a much better actor than I was two years ago.

as a theatre-major, feminist-studies minor college dropout, i:
a) bought a chair with the hundreds of thousands of dollars i decided not to waste

oh yeah, and now i'm living on couches and commandeered wi-fi connections. you should probably stay in school.

As an engineer, I designed a better chair and then sat on it.

what we need more of is...
SCIENCE!!!

It works, bitches!

As an engineer, I found and fixed up an old chair from an alleyway.

I'm guessing that your university is much better than mine.

I am a computer science major. I can design a chair that can perform multiple functions but it takes up the entire room. I can add more functions to it, but you'll have to wait a while before you can sit in it.

It reads your mail, too.

man you picked a really shitty combination of majors and minors

it was fun for a while, until i realized i was forced to coexist with feminists and theatre-people in close quarters.

no i mean it's only really useful if you were going to be a professional feminist or work in theatre

well i am doing both activism and performance art, though even with a degree it's hard to call either a profession.

I have a film degree:
Should I feel depressed about not using said degree I can buy a beaten up chair and shoot an indie film about it's neglect and subsequent retirement to China.
After it makes the rounds I'll be forced into adding softcore porn by the man to make it more sellable. Following years of depression I end up at a mall and hear someone say "I know you!". In that moment I feel the bliss of being recognized. Followed swiftly by the realization it was a ploy by a fine airhead to look at a deluxe kiosk of scrunchies.

Years later Hollywood makes a remake of it with a now legal Dakota Fanning as a girl who just moved into NYC after her boyfriend from Alabama died in the Iran-US war, where she meets a wizened old antiquarian played by Adrien Brody, who will teach her the ways of love again, with softcore porn sequences staged in a small old red chair she found. It will be called 'The Red Chair'

/later on we find the chair was painted with the blood of a small chinese girl who had nothing but the chair in her life, kthxs.

Hey, you could be in a play that involves a chair. There are lots of those. Good for you; you'll never own the big swivelly chair of corporate power but you won't spend your life burping up Satan's jizm either.

As a philosophy major, I can question the existence of the chair.

Shit. Someone beat me to it. I lame myself.

majoring in english. in fact, was just up all night writing a paper.

oh, and by the way...

professor, thanks to your extremely open-ended essay prompt and your inability to specify what exactly you want out of this paper/offer any prerequisite structuring aside from MLA format, i will probably fall asleep in every single one of my classes today. FUCK YOU.

oh my fellow english majors, we should all get together and have a drink to lament the loss of tuition dollars spent that will never translate into a livable salary and a chairless future workplace.

psh, yeah... if you could afford it

Drink specials were made for English majors.

Most of my English major friends (myself included) work at bars so as to avoid the whole "paying for drinks" thing. (Commandeering wifi at work, eating free food and drinking free beer, how sweet it is.)

Psychology and Political Science: I understand that this chair has attachment issues, and that it prefers to pursue bilateral trade policies.

Psych also, and I believe the chair to have an INTP personality, and that the chair will not likely form any lasting relationships due to its arrogance and all-around jackassery.

I'm a philosophy major; I don't even know whether or not there is a chair.

I majored in philosophy. I can think about chairs that are almost real enough to sit on, but if my mind wanders I fall on my butt. Thanks a lot, Plato.

That's why I just sit in a cave at stare at the shadow of a chair. It's my God.

Working in IT and graphical design (for clothing) this year: I can put a vector image of a chair on your shirt.
Studying journalism next year: I can give you the latest news about all chair-related developments.

Definitely a fuck you Friday.

Fuck!

Best fuck-you friday yet

Yell "fuck you" for every burden you had to shoulder in the name of getting the fuck by this week.

FUCK YOU ROOM MATE FOR GETTING "MAMBO NO. 5" STUCK IN MY HEAD.

FUCK YOU, BALD OVERWEIGHT SPECIAL NEEDS 20-YEAR-OLD WHO WORKS AT 7-11 AND WON'T RESTOCK THE COFFEE CUPS

FUCK YOU SICKLY LAB MICE WE SPENT HALF A YEAR AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON WHO KEEP GETTING DAMN TUMORS AND NECK AND EAR INFECTIONS AND KEEP DYING ON US.

Okay, I know, probably nerdiest damn "Fuck You" ever, but I am pretty pissed off at them.

FUCK YOU BEST BUY EMPLOYEE FOR PRETENDING TO KNOW WHAT I NEED TO BUILD MY OWN COMPUTER WHEN ALL YOU DO IS DOWNLOAD THE NEW KID ROCK CD OVER AND OVER.

FUCK YOU BITCH ASS THUNDERSTORM BORDERLINE TORNADO THAT TRIED TO KILL ME ON MY DRIVE BACK FROM MY GRANDMA'S FUNERAL

FUCK YOU PHIL SPECTOR FOR RUINING SOME PERFECTLY GOOD BEATLES SONGS.

FUCK YOU MY COUSIN FOR GAINING MY TRUST THEN RIPPING ME OFF FOR FIFTY BUCKS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU LIVE

Actually, fuck me for being an idiot.

Yeah, fuck those guys for charging people fifty bucks to install an external hard drive, too.

FUCK YOU (MY JOB) WHERE YOU GUYS DON'T GIVE ME SHIT TO DO, EVEN WHEN I ASK FOR IT, AND THEN COMPLAIN THAT I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME LOOKING AT WEBCOMICS ONLINE.

ohh i hate your fucking roomate

FUCK YOU PIZZA STREET! YOUR STUPID REPETITIVE JINGLE IS THE WORST THING EVER AND I HATE THE GOOGLEY EYED KID IN YOUR FUCKING COMMERCIAL!

WHILE WE'RE AT IT, FUCK YOU SPANGLES FOR PRETTY MUCH THE SAME REASONS!

'Fuck sodomy' is, philosophically, a hard one to visualize.

It depends on the context

A link alleging to be applicable to "fuck sodomy" is quite possibly the last thing I'd ever click.

Thank you for saying what I, and by extension I assume everyone else, was thinking. Chubbied.

The previous posts speak untold truths. Chubbies for all.

Wusses.

i clicked it because seeing fucked-up and depraved images is the reason the internet was invented. also, i am not a wuss.

And for that, you've earned a hearty FUCK YOU!

I clicked it. ^_^

FUCK YOU, THE PATRIARCHY FOR DE-LEGITIMIZING MY VERY EXISTENCE.

FUCK YOU ACHEWORLD FOR NOT LETTING ME GIVE CHUBBIES TO ALL THE REPLIES I WANT TO CHUBBY!

also fuck me for that being the worst burden i had this week

FUCK YOU, PHLEGMY OLD GUY AT THE GYM WITH THE REVOLTING HORKING COUGH, SHOULDN'T YOU BE HOOKED UP TO A MACHINE THAT BREATHES FOR YOU?

FUCK YOU, SARGASM, FOR SAYING "ACHEWORLD."

FUCK YOU, DIM DUMB 'COMIC ACTRESS' ON THE EVENING TALK SHOW
I SAW THE WAY YOU TALKED TO YOUR DISABLED SON AS IF HE WERE A GODDAMN PUPPY
GLUTEN DIDN'T GIVE YOUR CHILD AUTISM YOU HALF-WITTED CLOWN
BUT YOU WANT HIM TO GROW UP AFRAID OF BREAD

AND FUCK YOU CRAVEN INTERVIEWER
PRAISING THE ACTRESS FOR HER BRAVERY
SHE TOOK HER CHILD'S CARE INTO HER OWN HANDS
AND WENT ON THE INTERNET TO FIND A CURE
HAVE YOU SEEN THE INTERNET?
IT MIGHT BE EVEN STUPIDER THAN TELEVISION
I HAVE A QUACK THEORY TOO, THAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT:
YOUR BRAIN IS A STICKY CLOUD OF HAIRSPRAY
YOUR CONSCIENCE A CRUMPLED TISSUE SMEARED WITH LIPGLOSS
PUT ME ON TV
I WILL TREPANATE YOU AND WE'LL FIND OUT IF IT'S TRUE

Here's an added fuck her! Fuck her for making people think she's being so amazing for taking care of here own fucking child.

FUCK YOU INTEGRATION BY PARTS! FUCK YOU, C POINTERS THAT CAUSE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND SEGFAULTS! FUCK YOU, INTERNET EXPLORER 5/6 FOR YOUR SHITTY PNG TRANSPARENCY SUPPORT! FUCK ME FOR NOT BACKING UP A MONTH'S WORTH OF GAME CODE BEFORE FORMATTING MY HARD DRIVE! FUCK YOU XSI MOD TOOL FOR YOUR BIZARRELY HARD TO FOLLOW TUTORIAL! FUCK YOU POLITICAL ACTION WEEK ORGANIZERS FOR LETTING ME STAND IN 85 DEGREE WEATHER TO SEE OBAMA! FUCK YOU ENSUING RAINSTORM FOR NEARLY TRASHING MY LAPTOP! Whew!

FUCK YOU PARENTS FOR GETTING DRUNK AND LOUD AND RANDY WHEN I DID NOT WANT YOU TO GET DRUNK AND LOUD AND RANDY. I WASTED A PERFECTLY GOOD MORNING DEAD ASLEEP BECAUSE I COULD NOT GET TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF YOUR DOUCHEHATTERY.

FUCK YOU JOB THAT REQUIRES ME TO WORK WEEKENDS WHEN I WANT TO DO OTHER THINGS ON THE WEEKEND

FUCK YOU "FRIENDS" FOR MAKING ME LOSE THE GAME

YEAH. FUCK YOU RACHEL AND PHOEBE AND DAVID SCHWIMMER AND THAT OTHER GUY CHANDLER I THINK IS HIS NAME AND THE REST OF THEM. LEARN HOW TO MAKE A SHOW THAT DOESN'T SUCK. IT'S DISTRACTING AWKO AND CAUSING HIM TO LOSE HIS GAME.

FUCK YOU FOR PRETENDING LIKE YOU ARE UNSURE WHETHER HIS NAME IS CHANDLER. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL HIS NAME IS CHANDLER, AND YOU KNOW THE NAMES OF ALL THE REST OF THEM, TOO. SO DO I, AND I HATE THE SHOW. FUCK YOUR PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER FAUX-IGNORANCE.

FUCK YOU CAPS LOCK

FUCK YOU NEW PSYCHIATRIST FOR TELLING ME ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED BY PMS AND THAT YOUR GOD DAMNED PILLS WILL MAKE ME BELIEVE IN GOD, THEREFORE SOMEHOW GIVING MY LIFE "MEANING."

FUCK YOU NEW YORK HOTEL FOR "MISPLACING" MY NINTENDO DS AND ALL OF ITS GAMES WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT IT IN MY ROOM, YOU ARE NOT AWESOME. (yea I'm late to the party but I've got some rage man)

with god as my witness, i will one day find the opportunity to repeat ray's final words.

Panels 5 and 6 are fine advice to any young person!

So angry.

I think this strip explains the other strips this week pretty clearly.

I use to be a cashier, and I think that, if i'd had a chair I wouldn't have gotten myself fired for having a case of the dignities when I was told to, "shove a grocery cart up my ass." *

*cashier abuse is an ugly thing in this country.

Nah, I've worked in a bank for a while when I needed the money (...as opposed to now. Yeah), and I had a chair, but it still sucked because we got abused on a minute-by-minute basis. Although, perhaps the fact that we had chairs helped us survive. But then, I quit that as soon as I could. Ah well, fuck them.

Voltaire said that.

At my job (where I have a chair), the other managers and I are instructed never to make emotional decisions or statements around other employees. When the urge arises we are to walk to the supermarket down the street and kick a cashier. These are our exact instructions.

There is basically no excuse for not giving cashiers chairs. What is worse is when all of the other people at your store think you're lame for wanting one, because That's Just The Way It Is and This Is How Things Work and None Of Us Have Chairs What Makes You So Special.

Man, I wish I had a chubby left for that. I actually got "fired" (forced to quit on threat of firing, technically) from my crappy job at Jo-Ann Fabrics because I was on fucking crutches. God forbid they could have let me sit on a fucking stool at the register.