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I feel bad for all my daughters-in-law.

Not as bad as they will. In the ass.

what the fuck is this shit?

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/rsrc/default/js/edit.js

}
//add_to_list?b=martini^55c5b9bd2133c5bf71553f1d97dc91d81&a=martini^2&l=wl&v=ben@freedom2.com&h=email
function contactToggleList(cb,listID,email)
{
var xmlHttp;

is that some kinda backdoor in assetbar?

No. To me it's all ching chong wing wong.

What would the point be of a backdoor in Assetbar? What I'm curious about is how you found out that this exists, it doesn't seem like it's linked to anywhere.

Don't the two slashes at the beginning of the line mean that's a comment, not code?

It is sad how many time a day I want to say this to people...

Do you think it is rad to yell vaguely homophobic curses at strangers retro ?

that's pretty weird how the zoomed in image of Beef's mouth has none of the detail that you would expect in a zoomed in image. Onstad could have attempted to add that detail, but he didn't, and so, it's like, it adds this dimension of sureality to Beef... When we zoom in on beef, we find that he is in fact nothing more than a collection of lines on paper! That's some kinda philosophical statement or something.

I thought it was so we could play a game of "guess which body part this is."

"One by one, the long-suffering wife slips a jellybean into one of Roast Beef's Prostitute's ill-defined orifices, into which it disappears with a slow churning of subdermal muscle and cartilage. Sometimes, this too is what love is. Or Hell. It could also be that."

%u201CThey're still not sure it is a prostitute!%u201D, exclaims Molly.

Oh, my.

I think the delay (I suppose it's intentional?) between the strip being posted and our being able to comment, while frustrating, improves assetbar considerably. It's so much nicer to see that the first post is something well thought-out.

that is exactly right

As a matter of fact, I've noticed that posting quality in general has significantly improved

I hate to say things like these because some joker is gonna come in here and say rofle cocksdickslol -lamed- and completely mess up what i'm trying for here, but the Assetbarbarians have been operating rather smoothly lately

Yeah, it's like a maiden aunts' tea party around here.

More sugar honey iced tea, Mabel?

No thank you dear.

But I think I might have just one more tiny elderberry wine.

why tha fuck you got to steal gobs beta avatar is beyond me beta that certainly takes the vibe down a notch to be fuckin with others like that

yeah man, uncool.

Hey mine is in there too!

Neat!

Rad dude

I went way from a while, and some weirdo started using thegoblins' avatar. Is this... a thing?

Actually, I started using theprisonerx's avatar.

don't you lecture me cracker

missbee said:Quote:

It's so much nicer to see that the first post is something well thought-out.

plummet replied:Quote:

As a matter of fact, I've noticed that posting quality in general has significantly improved

I beg to differ.

Geez, gladi. What's your deal with me?
I...I don't want any bad blood between us.

Think of it as him pushing you over or pulling on your pigtails before running back to the other side of the playground.

Molly is rock-solid.

And sometimes, love is falling on your sword for your fellow Assetbarbarian.

I have problems with the phrase "assetbarbarian"

Says the avatar of Linus wearing Asterix's helmet.

Qisque est barbarus alii

Jesus Christ? And grandma, too!?

Crom approves of assetbarbarians.

Crom, I've been meaning to ask you. Are you of the earth?

Crom is strong! If you die, you have to go before him, and he will ask you, "What is the riddle of steel?" If you don't know it, he will cast me you of Valhalla and laugh at you. That's Crom, strong on his mountain!

So yes, pretty much of the earth.

Hey man, Jesus died for somebody's sins but not mine.

G-L-O-R-I-A

AYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore. / You know, she got big and she's gonna get biggah.

It was the Might Thor's helmet and shut up, you're not even the real Frank Cho <i>(runs off crying)</i>

Darn it I keep forgetting it's ghetto html on Assetbar

what's with the lack of comments?

Also, is this some kind of John Campbell guest strip or something?
I feel more down than any of the "saddest thing" strips.

I... have never seen the comment thread at this tender, formative young age...

Before I read the captions, I don't want to think about what I thought was happening in the first three panels.

Same here. Made worse because of what "jellybean" is a codeword for among my friends.

If I am not being too forward in assuming you mean 'clitoris', then it is a nickname which takes on an even more peculiar note in light of the relevantly-named flavor of 'buttered popcorn'.

In other news, when typing out the word clitoris above, I first misspelled it as 'clitorish': Fear Factor plus a candy store; today I am a genius [who is lifting too many Achewood lines even for his own comfort today - sorry, folks.]

Nope, it's not code for clitoris.
"Clitorish" is funny, though.

So moist.

Clitorish Allsorts!!

What news from the south?

Shhhh! I'm in hiding.

Don't bring any fucking attention over here, they'll notice us!

*notices*

If not clitoris, then please, do tell. And preferably in the form of a confectioner's pun.

Man, I don't wanna go through the truffle of coming up with a culinary-related pun. Also, I do not want to be crass all over the Assetbar, because I am a Lady. Let's just say that it is code for something unappetizing.

To be brutally honest, my thought, upon viewing, was something like..."AH...is that Ray--oh my God--on the toilet? Oh God...not sure I want to read about Ray on the toilet...oh wait, it seems to be about Seasonal Affective Disorder--which I have!! Though I have no one as sympathetic as Molly...oh wait, spilling too much...

I was sort of afriad to read it in public at first.

The guy I saw looking at the Myspace profiles of slutty college girls did not suffer the same anxiety.

hey leave him alone they may be really close friends of his that he's known for years and only occasionally touches himself tenderly in his soft places when viewing you don't know you don't know

His places are soft because he lives a lie, a lie propped up only by the conspicuous viewing of girl-flesh.

You touch yourself to certain assetbarbarians' facebook profiles, don't you?

We all do. No need to deny it.

Only to yours.

Today achewood made me cry.
Actually.

The last panel, it resounds with me.

Oh missbee. Do not lay down with that mean old Mr. Depression.

Everyone here would give you maximum hugs.

MAXIMUM.
HUGS.

Also, very first Google Image result for "HUUUUGS":
[IMGS OFF]

How many times did you have to alter the amount of U's in order to come up with any picture at all?

Actually, I started with five u's, but Philippe was only the second result so I went down to four.

That Philippe was there at all is a triumph of the human spirit

What is that on, the front shield of a vespa?

Correct; something like a '69 Rally 180 going by the badge... not that I know sod all about Vespas.

D'aw. I'm not sayin' I'm gettin' with any Depression.
(I would give everyone maximum hugs back! Huuugs!)

I missed you miss bee.

I don't know what prompted this affection, but "D'aww!"

mensch, I would like to be your friend. I think you will be okay with this.

*hugs*

That's how you do a hug. I would know 'cause I'm the hugMASTER.

*hugs* teach me your ways, sje46!

and maximum chubbies

Quote:

it resounds with me

Not to be picky, but could you mean "resonates" instead.

I still love you, if not your (word) choices.

You are correct. I own my Mistake.

I thought there was a continuity error in panel 9, because Teodor had been in a band with Nice Pete, but then I did the research and found that he didn't even make it into that regrettable band before getting distracted. That is not the saddest thing, but it might be in the top 50.

"Liebot, what is the saddest thing?"

"Phillipe, Phillipe, Phillipe.

Do you see what just happened to your uncle?"

The idea of Tom Waits telling Philippe about the saddest thing is awersome. awesome, even.

See also: Children's Story off of one of the Orphans discs.

As the eminently practical member of the relationship, Molly is probably just off to buy more jelly beans.

Molly side-boob action. All riiiiiighhht....

It's true - one sleeve line not drawn makes Molly naked in panel three.

EVREYONE! LISTEN TO THIS!

I asked 3 different people wat a "prince albert" was and got 3 different, yet similar responses. here is r teh following recountings of what they said

question: "what is a prince albert?"

First guy: "oh!** that's teh 7 piercings on teh penis. 6 on the shaft and 1 stud through the tip"

** he sounded excited

question: "what is a prince albert?"

Second guy: "i think it's just--hold on a minute"

here i explain to him i wanna know without google image searching it. (this was a lie because i have) an he interjects with

Second guy: "ya...*(1)* i just did it's a piercin through teh side of the head of the penis like i thought*(2)*"

*(1)* he sounds sad
*(2)*like u thot lol? wtf

question: "what is a prince albert?"

Third guy(final): "stud through the tip*(1)* with a chain to the scrot*(2)*"

*(1)*of the penis?
*(2)*scrotum

lol kinda crazy hows these guys ideas of prince albert vary but teh one recurrin' theme is dat a stud goes through teh tip of the dick? or...

so thas that thx m8s i m started to write pomes/raps again (in private) an ma spirits r lifted sumwat. [i]i am losing weight

I thought a Prince Albert was a royal consort whose death caused Queen victoria to go into mourning for fourty years, until she met that virile young scot Mr Brown. But what do I know?

The saddest panel for me was Cornelius practicing his death. But damn is that class.

lol no its metal thru ur john thomas. lol

His name is Cosmo, thank you very much.

Either someone else chubbied you at the same time or I just gave you a two-fer chubby.

Once you get a Prince Albert, your chubby will count for two.

Your chubby splits in half and half of it goes off to an angle and the other half alternates between kind of going straight and just kind of spraying random droplets all over the place.

You have been killing the BBC iPlayer to be using the 'JT' term!
Respect.

Apparently a lot about British history.

Also accepted answer: Punchline to a certain prank phone call.

No, not the punchline, the subject.

It's been a long time since I told a joke.

Wait, do you have a pierced penis in a can?

Then you'd better uh...You'd better...

Wh...Why do you have that?

to impress the chix :)_

You haven't spent enough time on the Body Modification Encyclopedia.

(I'm not gonna even fucking PRETEND this shit is even REMOTELY safe for ANYBODY's work.*)

Do you dare?
http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Anal_Piercing

*Not true. Surely, somebody's work.

I work at a tattoo parlor. You should see our screen saver.

I once went to a tattoo parlor with a wall mural in black and white of a scantily-clad jester woman a la Harley Quinn, with disproportionately large breasts{with pierced nipples, for anyone who cares}and buttocks. An unusually small alien with a penis two times larger than his body was jizzing onto her protuberant tongue.

I have always resolved to go back in and take a picture, but they're a good many miles away from my house.

Someone with an avatar of Nice Pete should never need to ask this.

aelindil, I want to renew my begging for a crocheted Philippe. I would save up money to buy it for my girlfriend. Or I would buy a pattern and then make my girlfriend crochet it... for my girlfriend.

Look who's bragging 'cause they got a girlfriend.

Who do you think you are, putting on such airs?

MATTYLITE IS THE NEW THEGUITARHERO

AND NOW SO AM I

YOU GUYS SUCK IM LEAVING AND NEVER COMING BACK

No you guys seriously she's from Canada you probably don't know her

Her name wouldn't happen to be Alberta, would it?

[IMGS OFF]

So, mattylite, what's caviar like? Pretty good?

OKAY MY DARLINGS HERE IS THE UPDATEST!

No word from Onstad redarding such as copyright violation, have decided I don't care, one Philippe shell complete, one half done, none stuffed yet. As soon as I have several completed, I'll start listing them on my etsy shop (SassInTheMain). I wish I had some kind of eta on this, but more or less I haven't been making any attempt lately, sorry I suck you guys.

Also, I got you trumped, 'cuz I got me a husband, and that means I win.

YES.

[IMGS OFF]

Q: "Do you have Prince Albert in a Can?"

A: "Yes."

Q: "That must tickle."

Why does his second question look suspiciously like a statement.

And why does my question look like a statement?

You missing this-----------------------?

"So, uncle Eddie, I just put this smoking tobacco in my mouth, and just...suck on it? But it's caleed chewing tobacco...also, it looks like your penis."

"Crimp Cut"
"Long Burning"

Philippe: Lie bot, what is the saddest thing?
Lie Bot: Philippe, Philippe, Philippe. The saddest thing is Prince Albert. Instead of going to history books as a man so charming that he made Queen Victoria cry for 40 years, his name is most commonly known as a genital piercing so painful it makes the average man cry for 40 days.

Also he is in a can. You should probably let him out.

I only know that turtles with this piercing are less delicious than a turkey.

>i am losing weight

congratulations my brother, i know that this must be a difficult path to walk - hell, i walked it a few years ago and continue to walk it every day because of what being -Large- did me{It gave me Circumstances}. It never ends cause you have to keep those pounds OFF, so it's an uphill battle. And then you gotta gain muscle mass...some days I want to turn my face to the wall and die instead of having to eat another protein shake and then a shitload of supplements so that I gain more muscle mass. I can never stop going to the gym now. The Depression tries to get me but I am fighting him off because that nigga already paid me one visit and I had hell getting him out the fuck here.

so again, congratulations on winning a solid victory against The Fats, you continue to pound the shit out of that motherfucker and make him your fucking bitch. fuck the shit out of some chicks too, it'll release serotonin in your brain and improve your mood even more

word. bein' fat aint no way to go thru live, i hear u abot protein i am like eat 6 raw egg rocky style in morning. heck of protein but hella nasty

lots of cardio too

and don't fuck up your joints. i cannot stress this enough - if you fuck your joints up while exercising you'll gain back the weight and it's back to square one. get lots of sleep and take your vitamins. stretch before you lift and make sure you're properly warmed up - you do NOT want to end up in Therapy like I did

word on that. stretchs r so improtant. can't stress dat enuff.

my deal is lotsa reps wit small weight to get quickness not power for so i can still persform my kicks and what-not witout bulk o muscle in ma way.

good looks, man. keep it coming and don't wear yourself down too much - overtraining's just as bad as sitting on your ass. don't beat yourself up if shit isn't going your way, it's not worth it. seriously, it isn't, so don't do it. save it for the other dudes who you need to smack upside the head

GO AWAY ONSTADT

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

Did you just say "nigga"?

All this time I thought you were Indian.

Are you saying you're black?

You better be saying you're black.

yo dogg that's plummet not goblins dogg

Gladi8orrex! You're Sarkozy now!

How come?

The answer to the question "how come you are Sarkozy?" is always Carla Bruni.

Always.

Carla Bruni is a more than satisfactory answer to most questions concerning French Politics, I think.

Oh, right. Never thought I'd say this but thank you for correcting my mistake, gladi8orrex.

chill out bro

"Indian"
The term is "culturally-impaired", jerk.

I thought losing weight was a bad thing for MMA fighters. If you don't start packing it back on you'll never stand a chance against the ground-and-pound shit I be bringin'.

Rowboat will straight ground pound yo' ass. Ain't no goomba walkin' away from that.

remember teh end o lethal weapon when mr joshua tries suma that GNP bs on mel an he just fucks him to sleep? i rest ma case

Remember the end of Sleepless in Seattle when you think that Sam and Annie are going to barely miss meeting one another but then because the kid left his backpack on top of the Empire State Building Sam has to go back up and then they meet? I rest my case.

Sarkozy8orrex?
Works for me dude.

img]http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/7274/rollercoasteri.th.jpg[/img]

Cock!
[IMGS OFF]

You must be This Tall to ride the Female Cartoon Cat

You must be This Roast Beef to ride this Female Cartoon Cat.

[IMGS OFF]

um, a welshman... ette?

Welshwoman, dear.

Welshwoman.

HAMSCOUT WINS ASSETBAR AGAIN

more at 11

11:00: He's the fucking man.

Tune in on the hour for more updates.
For CBS, I'm Dan Rather.

I'm rather dan.

Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan man!

well, look who thinks he's clever dan

(has it been exhausted now)

No, but it's starting to get a bit Desperate Dan.

[IMGS OFF]

...and no trace of Russian teenagers (or diamonds).

I miss Asherdan.

hes in a better place now...

Well, a different place, anyway.

dont contradict me in front of the group. it undermines my authority.

Raw

Wow - Molly's a girl I'd totally go to bead shops with. And like it.

Giving a whole new world of meaning to 'Flicking the Bead' there, Smallberries

Plummet- might you have swapped your female bead for a bean? I was referring to my favorite Molly-Beef moment [http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua62ktdw]Bead Shop[/url]. I'm sure your bead is very nice though...

BBCode fail! All I wanted was a PREVIEW BUTTON but she wouldn't give it to me! One more time, with feeling: [http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua62ktdw/]Bead Shop[/url]

The saddest thing.

He just wants to go to the bead shop, period

A billion Lovepoints for the Institutionalized reference.

SUPPORT EUTHANASIA FOR DUDES WHO HAVE BEEN TO THE BEAD SHOP

No need to link it, I remember it clear as day. I was trying to be humorous by implying that you might have had sexual relations with a cartoon cat.

I am sorry for ruining assetbar smallberries :(

who you callin a fag, fag

Riiight, everyone except the guy who has posted primarily about dicks is a fag.

As in 20 Benson & Hedges?

Oh man my mom used to smoke those back in the day, all going "Benson and Hedges 100s" to the Chinese guy at the store and me all going "THOSE GONNA KILL YOU MAAAA"

I'm still really feeling the last panel.

For the record, I am not a fag. Well, maybe? Who knows.

Perchance it's because I first looked at this on my phone, but I was totally ready for the first three panels to be something disgusting. I always think the close-ups in Achewood are disturbing to a certain extent. But then they remind me of "What in the World?!" from the back cover of the old National Geographic World magazines, and I feel a little better. From the nostalgia.

A more brilliant thing you will not find.

Man. One jelly bean at a time. I think that's love.

I got dumped a few days ago.

Sometimes, love isn't.

[url=http://www.nazarethdirect.co.uk/nazareth/]Love hurts
love scars
love wounds and mares any heart
Not tough nor strong enough to take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
love is like a cloud
holds a lot of rain.[/url}

[IMGS OFF]
Love hurts
love scars
love wounds and mares any heart
Not tough nor strong enough to take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
love is like a cloud
holds a lot of rain.

Hey octafish what about the Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons version that is a pretty good version too don't you think.
Also the relatively obscure Kim Deal and Bob Pollard version though Bob sort of ruins it.

Roy did it best, then Emmylou and Gram. But for full cheesiness you can't go past Nazareth.

I'd forgotten about Roy's version; odd, because I fucking love Roy Orbison. Think I prefer the Harris/Parsons and Deal/Pollard versions, though, because the vocal harmony defines the whole song, for me.
But, eh, Roy has far better tunes of his own, anyway.

Huuuugs

Noooo doc_rostov

all not even having the will to hastily photoshop any buggery

all not even caring if he gets chubbies

All I feel upon reading your post is listlessness.

You bore me, son.

I am going to kill you.

Over-use of papyrus font is tiresome. Do you design websites for teen girls?

From the website:
Quote:

It IS NOT about Jaycee, it IS NOT porn

Two more reasons I don't want to see it.

I am going to abduct you and make a movie about it.

Have fun with your Lifetime movie!

thank you! It will include a scene with a pierced penis in a can!

(by can I mean anus of a 13 yr old girl)

(Hey moron, I think you mean rectum)

Rectum? It nearly killed 'em.

so its like an action thriller with 'splodey things?

There's a wonderful graphics processing technique known variously as "resizing" or "scaling". Look into it.

Best part of that page:
Quote:

Check out what the Los Angeles Times call one of Ryan's films.

Also Assetbarrista doesn't do the quote function right. Took me forever to figure out that I wasn't actually doing it wrong.

At first I thought that was an "Abducted Girl" calendar

Like Jaycee Lee is Miss January, Natallee Holloway is Miss June and such

sometimes love is quietly rolling over and accepting that you are incapable of reliably identifying even the most base of emotions.

Onstad has (a) been drinking too much bourbon, or (b) been reading Pictures for Sad Children. Either way I like it.

I personally think he's been drinking too much bourbon WHILE reading Pictures for Sad Children. This strip is accurately depressing enough to indicate such a combination.

Fuck.

It never ceases to amaze me how sophisticated Achewood has become over the last eight years. I think it's time Onstad updated his advertising campaign.

[IMGS OFF]

OHHHHH SHIIIIIT
I posted under the wrong account
NOOOOOOOOOO

fag

I love you too man

Oh wait, what I meant to say was:

I don't know, man, this is a little like 'accidentally' signing your name in extra large letters on a check donated anonymously to charity.

I think Staddy-poo is so morose of late because his grapples with his closeted homosexuality have finally come to a head. Come out, Chris! Come out where you belong!

OHHHHH SHIIIIIT
I posted under the wrong account
NOOOOOOOOOO

So it was YOU

THE MASK SLIPS!!!!!!!

-A Collective Gasp!

A woman in row C faints!

a fight breaks out!

The concessionaire runs out of chocolate-covered peanuts!
WHATAREWEGONNADOOOOOOOOOO

I think I know where Onstad's new funding is coming from...
[IMGS OFF]

I love the Zoloft blob! Thank you so muuuch.

I hate the Zoloft blob because I was on Zoloft and it didn't work.

Fuck you, little blob! Why should you get to be happy and not me?!

[IMGS OFF]

Seriously, fuck that asshole.

[IMGS OFF]

I love the smirk on its face

He's subtly challenging us

OH MY GOD IS THAT MAN SHITTING STRONG SAD

Try Hopeugrin (aka Lexapro)

I thought that was a pretty big jump for the guy who just made those "fuck you" chains (not that I didn't enjoy those, too).

a modest experiment

I bet if we all send Onstad e-mails, and we put posts in whatever forums he frequents, if we put links to cool music, we can influence his mood, and therefore the mood of his art.

Rosie

Fountain Of Sorrow

[b]Today's Blog (kind of)[b]

Cornelius: Are You a Hoarder?

Quote:

How could I ever have mother %u2019round to a home where every surface is covered in hare-brained %u201CTiki%u201D equipment, unplayable vintage board games with catchy titles, or nests of wires that could be used to wire something one day?

I considered myself an inveterate hoarder until I heard about a friend of a friend of a friend whose attic contained a cardboard box labelled "pieces of string too small to be of any use".

(I thought this was a genuine anecdote, but Googling that phrase reveals that it is kind of a thing. A meme, even. I feel like I've been lied to.)

And now I'm making basic BBCode errors. It's going to be one of those days, isn't it.

It sure is Boss.

l...loiosh?

Like anybody reads Brust around here...

are you saying that onstad doesnt post consistently cause that is so true and funny of you to point out please keep us updated with your feelings on this matter dont leave us out in the cold just wondering what you think of things

Any quips about airline food?

Airline food can be the death of a playa in this town.

Gosh all I said was I'm looking forward to his next installment. Whats so wrong with that!

I'M TOTALLY WITH YOU I CAN'T WAIT BUT MAYBE IT'LL TAKE A WHILE???> KINDA WORRIED!!!

oh c'mon it was kind of funny

I'm sorry, but that sentiment is just so tired. No variation can save it from being shit.

I can't wait to see what Rowboat's next complaint will be!

(oh man try to come back from that)

I hope that he will complain about berries and the state of berries in contemporary society.

Man berries are just wanna-be fruits, no way they deserve to have ice creams built around them, no way in HELL they need to have new fake hybrids invented for 7-11 slurpy flavors

Mattylite I just read that as manberries, now I can't unread it.

Manberries you say?

I just said manberries so many times it turned into Manbury, the last name of a ball with a top hat and a monocle. Also, I bet now people will just keep reading your comment when they ctrl-F "un - read", since you can't tell ctrl-F if you mean an adjective or a verb.

[IMGS OFF]

Dear Assetbar,

I was just laughed at for saying "Damnit, someone chubby my ball" out loud.

Sincerely,
Matty Lite

Would you like some... penis?

rowboat, are you tired?

You look tired.

"I am a tired man. Sometimes I think I'm the tiredest man on earth."

This strip gets a "5" because it relates so well to it's audience.

Trying so hard to resist being a grammar asshole but I mean c'mon man that's the audience you're dealing with I mean what do you expect with your misplaced apostrophes aaauuuggggghhhhhh...

Splut.

lol did you cum?

A moment is a unit of time measured in panicked realizations (1 pr = 1 mnt).

great, now i don't even want to fall in love! thanks achewood, this is almost as bad as the first time I heard "diamonds are forever"! ]:0(

Falling in love is the greatest.

However, relationships suck.

The only love that lasts is unrequited.

True love leaves no traces.

trace evidence neither

I am finding unrequited love to be less than enjoyable. It certainly is lasting, though.

Amen.

love is a sliver of light at the back of a dark cave, you struggle towards it and when you finally reach it, it shines in your eyes and you can't see too good but the soft roasting of your collarbones lets you know that a good thing is happening, a great thing is happening. for the next 3 months, there is bliss. you giggle in rollerskates like children. you swim and play like dolphins. you philosophize and theorize until you've convinced yourselves that together you've discovered the meaning of life.

and then one day, 4 years down the road, you realize there are ashes on your table, but neither of you smoke. you look over at him at you see that his face is flaking, his cheeks coming undone. he looks old and fragile. he looks tired. you lay in bed with him while he repeats over and over "how did my life get like this?", and you offer to go out and get some food. outside, a real world is taking place, and that is comforting and weird. you walk across the street and buy two papaya dogs. better get some fries too. the two of you eat silently. you ask if he wants to play video games, but he shakes his head. you leave him in the kitchen, he is reorganizing the fridge again, and you go lay down on the bed. you wonder if you sealed the deal just because you didn't want the other person to get hurt.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa back up there, Susan.

Papaya dogs?

guess what everyone! lyle reads esquire! breakfast wine!

I'm still anxiously awaiting the "free public wine" idea to catch on. Maybe we can have "free public breakfast wine" - would help segue from comfy bed to awful job.

You remember that guy that invented those self-balancing electric scooter things, that never really caught on? The "Segway", was it? Yeah, that's right. Who came up with that idea? Dean something? Yeah, Dean Kamen, right.
Any idea what happened to that guy, "Dean Kamen"?

"...Kamen went"! (HAHAHAHAHA)

Who the fuck is laming this awesome joke I stole.

Beef is such a drama queen.

He has become Achewood's own Shinji Ikari

Hey, I know that reference.

The top three panels are hella erotic

Jelly beans have never made anxiety go away for me. Molly's got to learn that sometimes she just needs to kick him in the gut for him to break the cycle of worry

HEY ASSETBAR

You guys would know better than I would. I have to write an essay and I need to know which of these is proper apostrophe usage:

"the combination of Bob and Jake's reports led to the conclusion..."

"the combination of Bob's and Jake's reports..."

Chubby to the person who helps.

...This is a weird way to use AssetBar.

Eh, I just restructured the sentence. Nevermind. Fuck it.

Still, chubby if somebody clears that up for me for the future. I assume example 1 is right but I'm not 100%

Well, are these reports the possession of Bob and Jake together, or are Bob's reports in some way distinct from Jake's? (This may be moot, as I suspect "...Bob and Jake's..." would be correct in either case)

(Congratulations on getting back into your account, daidai?)

DAMNNNNNNN ITTTTTTTTT

soup_alex Quote:

DAMNNNNNNN ITTTTTTTTT

Congrats on your apparent success at injecting some arbitrary HTML into the page, anyway.

AIU is just annoyed because he's now revealed another of his sock puppet accounts to be his.

Not to sound like AIU(?), but I will reiterate that I don't actually know who or what "AIU" is. I'm not even sure if I'm being accused of being him/her/they/it.
I am so confused.

TR;DR

(red)

Too Red: Didn't Red.

Better dead than red.

AUGH A WALL OF TEXT

AUGH

oh okay now i understand the whole AIU business. writing in red is icky though

Yes, if they wrote the reports together "Bob and Jake" is a unit and has an 's at the end. If they are individual reports each would have an apostophe, perhaps also a comma after "Bob's" and "Jake's", although you need a pedant's hat if you want to go that far.

Ok I'll state the actual sentence in question:

"The juxtaposition of Raddatz('s?) and Sciutto's reports provide an enthymematic arguemend that: blahblahblah"

I'd give them both an apostrophe. If your marker is a member of the grammar police s/he might give you a brownie point, if not they won't care. In any case your wording makes it clear that there are two individual reports.

...but not necessarily two sets of reports.

It's difficult to juxtapose one set.

Oops, I was mistakenly thinking of multiple Bobs or Jakes, each with one or more reports of their own. One Bob, Bob's reports; Two Bobs, Bobs' reports? For the record, I was considering the possibility that each of the subjects might possess more than one object each, it didn't occur to me that the sentence wouldn't change to reflect this difference.
Sorry, assetbar, it was rather late.

Jesus, just drop out and be done with it. What crap is that anyway?
It's the 2nd one, btw.
The 1st one doesn't make sense since Bob and Jake's already implies a collaboration. A combination of different reports they had collaborated on is doofy.

YOUR WELCOM.

Raddatz and Sciutto. A crime fighting duo from the future. Then arguemends are enthymematic and their rayguns are for hire.
Raddatz is the hard-drinking ex-cop with a grudge against the space government. Sciutto is a smooth talking lady's man with contacts in every star-system.

The Space Government stole Raddatz's mother's Zolon Blaster.

Quote:

The Space Government stole Raddatz's mother's Colon Blaster

fixed

bob and jake's. plz for a chuppy now

[IMGS OFF]

Love is...

Telling the police you fell down the stairs and hit a doorknob.

No.

[h1]meow[/h1]
[h2]meow[/h2]
[h3]meow[/h3]
[h]meow[/h]

[highlight]value[/highlight]

[size= 2]this text is two sizes larger than normal[/size]

[color=blue]this text is blue[/color]

[fontsize= 2]this text is two sizes larger than normal[/fontsize] [font size= 2]this text is two sizes larger than normal[/font size]

[big]sdscsd[/big]

fdvddvfvd

[header]{TEXT}[/header]

Ha. AIU is really trying hard to figure out how soup_alex did it. Turn on the light, and the moths will come.

FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER I BRING COLOR TO ASSETBAR I AM A GOD HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO A SIMPLE MOTH IN A FLAME YOU BITCH!!

30th time is a charm huh AIU.

You roll like a 5 year old eats a popsicle, all sticky fingers and wet pants.

(Actually, I was trying to make my text smaller; 1 is apparently larger than 6 on assetbar. I don't know about the colour change, but it is a nice shade... almost orange on white. Patriot/AIU will have to try removing the spaces in his/her code to see any effect at all with BBCode, unless the desired effect was being a cunt)

(Also, you'll have to forgive me, as I'm only a very casual reader of the assetbar comments/drama, but I haven't the faintest who AIU would be... a knucklehead from small times?)

I liked the moving finger more.

[noparse]csdscd[/noparse]

[i1]sdcssdcsdcsd[/i1]
[h1]sdcssdcsdcsd[/h]
[i1]sdcssdcsdcsd[/i]

[o]sdcsdcsdc[/o][k]sdcsdcsdc[/k]

(sdsdsdc)

[hey]whatsup[/hey]

YEAH! HA HA! VERY GOOD!

I DONT EVEN KNO!

It's ok man.

ALRIIIIGHT!

Yeah!

Darn, now I look like the troll!

Wah wah waaaah

Nice-on-water? I am surprised at you. Why are you behaving so poorly.

Incessant trolling brings out the vigilante in me, and vigilantism brings out the annoying board user in me, generally.

I hear ya, man

[IMGS OFF]

Oh god Rya's freckle under his armpit, could this be the beginning of his armput-and-ear-cancer? http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D10022007

2012: THE END IS NEAR.

I was Roast Beef shivering on the bed.

wat

Meow.

Meow?

[color=green]Make us.[/color]

Dammit! Next time.
Damn you, gay Hulk Hogan!

Fuck it, ignore the transvestite. Byeeeeee...

Huh. I was wondering what I'd missed by not checking Assetbar (or, indeed, Achewood) in a long time. And... well...

yeah.

Hella faint, gray sentences up ins.

weighs a ton

I hope someday the last panel is included in some kind of comic retrospective. In two generations we went from Dagwood's hunger strike to "Sometimes love is wondering if you trapped an innocent person".

Boy did he love sandwiches or what?

I'll say!

This is fucking beautiful.

Sometimes Achewood is a laugh riot. Sometimes Achewood is like Neil Young and Tom Waits wrote the world's most depressing novel.
Both are good.

Onstat - - - Are you alright? ...

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(Congratulations on getting back into your account, daidai?)

FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER I BRING COLOR TO ASSETBAR I AM A GOD HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO A SIMPLE MOTH IN A FLAME YOU BITCH!!

Meow?