No man that is a job for you to do as a practicing member of the common populace.

But can we truly capture the very essence that makes Beef's cards such inimitable masterpieces? I say... No

Hmm. First chubby, sir

I'm Sorry Java That I Shot At Your Feet And Made You Dance
But It Just Wasn't Fast Enough I Was Trying To Get My Oats And All

That does have a general-purpose feel to it, for all the crap that one roomie could "borrow" from another.

HELLA chubbied. "Well, actually, ladies, I wear both..."

I'm the dude that arrives at the end of the night, after most people have gone home, but still wants to party.

...and i am this dude's friend.

I love it, and by extension, you. In a totally heterosexual way. This is so awesome, seriously.

Hey Elbow, don't quit your day job! (Sorry) No, seriously, I can't do any Photoshopping at all, much less figure out how to post an image, so I'm impressed.

On your point, I hope this is the new normal here, with faces to go with posts, unless you'd rather be an aviticon. I'm so happy the "hand-to-face" movement enabled so many to reveal themselves, and I'm working on my own self-bitch-slap shot as I type *OUCH*

Because I am poor and have no techie friends who get me cool software, let it be known that any and all images I post are made entirely with MS Paint.

The gimp may be a step up for you.

My techie friend is called The Pirate Bay.

(Acctually I legitimately bought Abode Suite, but it is a good joke, yes?)

Dude, I mean, the cat's out of the bag. Might as well keep it that way.

I don't intend to change back.

I think it's time Asherdan returned to show his face. Also Manflesh.

If the good doctor is allowed a camera and several thousand pixels' worth of real estate, I don't feel like his face is going to be the first thing he shows us.

I appreciate what you have done and the feeling with that was behind this creation and all the time and effort it took.

I must say though, and I may or may not speak for others in my position, that all I will really remember about it is not being in it.

This is the saddest thing.

I'm sorry, really. It really wasn't intended to be the cool kids, just the people that I'm most familiar with and the ones who changed their icons the earliest. I mean if I weren't the one who made it, I probably wouldn't be on there either. So please don't feel bad about not being included on a crappy image made with MS Paint and a photo taken from the Ikea website.

would I have been on there if I were still Screaming Philippe Andrew_?

oh did you used to be andrew_? congratulations on consistently hilarious posts, then.

why thank you!

"Still Screaming Phil-" wait wait wait what?!

Huh! And here I thought this Strangeglove was a new fellow.

I'm sorry I shocked you so.

man, don't feel down, that piece was absolutely Awesome, all the cooler for being stick figures and MSPainted. I'm not on there either, I still totally appreciate it - funny and awesome!

Oh man, there is hell of a spelling error. Please avert your eyes from the spelling error, and any others I may have made without noticing.

This brings tears to my eyes. Thank you very much.

I apologize for my initial gut reaction. I know it wasn't intentional or a big deal.

You know, considering how fraught with danger putting one's face on the internet can be, this turned out about 500 percent better than I expected. Thanks Loneal!

I agree. Seeing an inbox full of faces and putting them to the comments has really made me happy. I like seeing who reads this Thing, as it seems only myself and a few of my friends know about it in my area.

It's a good thing!

This was entertaining indeed, but I fear that if I don't change my icon back to It's Never Lupus, many, many comments made in reply to mine will cease to make sense.

Can we really be sure they won't make MORE sense?

At least you didn't lame me just because you were pissed about being left out like 21echoes and jollysaintpete did.

hey that's from my post! awesome.

That is awesome, except you cloned me. I'm already on the left arguing about semiotics with loneal.

And shit, I didn't see that achilleselbow was already in it, and now he's in there twice. Oh well.

There...there was a rip in the time-space continuum! TWO ACHILLESELBOWs.

I am really fond of pogo's jaunty hands-on-hips position.

I thought that would be fun.

Aw dang guys c'mon.

Arms akimbo, that's me.

I am not lovink these handouts. Am preferink to stayink secluded.

Hey, you lay off handouts. Handouts are cool. People are sorry and they show us in Photoshop form.

You don't want to end up lonely and excluded like I_Love_Kate.

Yeah actually I_Love_Kate has a point, where is I_Love_Kate in the picture?! All the assetbabes love I_Love_Kate. In fact, everybody loves I_Love_Kate.

What the hell people

I guess you're just supposed to be in the coat room making out with Kate or something?

hilarious

Shi-at. V-chub.

I am so glad I had a chubby left for you.

Thank you sir.

I like the radiance around abendsonnen, and that I am stepping on the Doritos.

I'm starting to think this whole thing was a bad idea. Oh well, at least I saved a chubby for you.

no, it was a good idea. you just gotta expect a couple bitter people.

and I can't be really mad anyway, since I just started reposting like.. four fucking days ago. rock on, achilleselbow.

Virtual chubby, good job.

poor achilleselbow. turns out your heel is trying to do something fun.

Everything is all in your head. So this was no different. Have a chubby.

Mira, you are my hero. You say the things I do not even realise I'm thinking.

That's all I remember too.. This really is the saddest thing.

oh my god that guy! wasn't he from The House of Hate? put any guy in those sunglasses and I immediately think he's That Guy or The Boss With No Eyes.

I do not know what the house of hate is, but it does not sound like a fun place.

It bothered me that Aviators were A Thing for a while (at least in Australia) as it took away the whole "Whoa! That dude must be a pilot, or possibly a prison guard/satanic allegory" aspect to seeing people wearing them.

The House of Hate was a Dr. Phil special where he made people who hate people stay in a house together. Some racists, some sexists, the whole nine yards.

clearly, i have revealed myself to be a Dr Phil viewer to an otherwise non-Dr Phil viewing internet community. Can I recover?

nope

jollysaintpete, do you know how Assetbar works? C'mon! Put some capitalization under that sucker!

as a matter of fact i've no idea how assetbar works and i'll keep playing by my own rules thankyouverymuch

NO.

I am sorry about this autre, but we can no longer be steady dates, as you love Dr. Phil, and I am of the mind that he is a terrible psychologist.

To be fair, my disdain for him also stems from his seeming inability to deny his percieved infallibility. It is basically a terrible thing to speak to a patient and have them think that everything you say cannot be false.

Also he spends nowhere near enough time with people to make an adequate assessment, at least from a clinical perspective.

Front: I am sorry I got so steamed about Dr. Phil.

Inside: It's just that he is so terrible at helping people that have problems.

Also, tell me more of this House of Hate!

meurgh I hate Dr. Phil the man, but Dr. Phil the tv show is just enough trainwreck to make me derisively chuckle at least once per episode.

Same as with all daytime talk show formatted programs, they're fun to watch!

oh who am i kidding i'm just unemployed :0(

After many seconds of deliberation, I have decided to take you back. After all, anyone who hates Dr. Phil as a person yet still watches his show cannot not be fun to be around.

As Phil the not-really-a-doctor says, "How's that working for ya," autrepoupee?

Is that his hair - some kind of mohawk? Or is that just the hair of the person sitting behind him?

Oh dang. Thank you so much for that. I feel like one of the cool kids now.

I don't know what I'm doing in this picture but I love it! Also, you have so many assetbar groupies it's ridiculous

My feelings on this assetbar trend? Unquestionably pro.

You are the Bond Girl to tekende's Bond.

I will say that my feelings on this picture, my bond girl-ness and the entire weekend-long love-in here in the assetbarrio are strongly PRO.

And I for one am delighted in that.

Lawbot REALLY doesn't want you to play that hand of cards. Good thing I've got my gun up, I think something's about to go down here.

Don't worry, I know lawbot's weak spot.

His weak spot is losing all his chips to me, so is yours!

I LOVE you.

Also this is probably like the first time ever that I have been considered, by anyone, one of the "cool kids".

But you are all so rad.

I can't believe I actually have internet friends again. I... am not ashamed.

Who are you responding to, hecci? Achilleselbow?

EVERYONE.

Originally achilleselbow but then it spread to everyone.

achilleselbow, you are so rad. You... are... rad!

That's amazing, and duly chubbied. Although I do feel bad that in the picture I am requesting for the giant isopods to be killed. In reality I think the giant isopods... are... rad! I was showing that picture of them with the doritos to my officemates just this afternoon and we all laughed with glee.

I didn't really get to be around for assetbar's social season this weekend.. maybe I'll catch it next time around.

(Outside)I am so sorry you missed all the fun this weekend...
(Inside)...but damn, woman, that's what you get for hanging out with your cool real-world friends.
(Back)But i totally understand i was hell of tardy in the proceedings

Ya.. I totally feel like uncool because I don't have a hand/face picture. (sob)

It's okay, I have a shitty webcam. Your phoenix/silhouette is superior.

This was not my intention at all! My feelings on accidental dickery are Con!

If it makes you feel better, my picture is me on a dog's bed in Wal-Mart last December. My hair hasn't been brown in four months. And despite my extensive fiddling around with Paint, your avatar still kicks mine's ass and then takes its lunch money.

Awesome work, achilles. I especially like the chorus of spinynorman appreciators, and the Doritos-thieving giant sea lice. This weekend we experienced a remarkable phenomenon on assetbar, and I'm glad you took the time to document it.

That being said, I'm still going back to my old avatar. Too much familiarity makes me uncomfortable. This is why I'm on an internet messageboard in the first place.

abendsennon doesn't have to say anything. She just stands in the corner and radiates sexy-beams.

I want to say "I have a mind achillesbow", but I kind of like having action lines all coming out of me.

Oh my god I am glowing? insaaaaane.

Where is the couch?

abendsonnen is standing on it.

Actually I am floating and I look very ethereal. Thank you for making me look ethereal. :)

dude i am flattered to be in this. i'm basically a new poster, i ain't shit.
i'm really glad i got on so much this weekend tho, it's been a blast.

wow, that was really cool achilleselbow! Very nice of you! You are rad! Gee I feel undeserving to be included what with how socially awkward and anxious I am about making connections with people, or avicons, as the case may be. I've only been hanging out here for a little bit but yeah I do feel like I know you all a little better, and maybe you all know me just a little better, maybe even a little more than you might like sometimes heh heh.

What is really neat, however, is to see folks really connecting in some meaningful way, and to see everyone's enthusiasm for connecting, as spontaneously exemplified by the hand-face incident. This is probably what sky-net felt like when it spontaneously gained sentience. What a beautiful thing! I'm in my 30's, so I remember when the internet was comprised more of enthusiasts and intellectuals and was much less crowded with idiots like me.... eh heh eh. To quote Clinton Fein, it's becoming "a world of superficial sound bytes dominated by a generation absorbed with the self and the surface of things."

But ya know what, all the frickin' APIs and giga-byte hogging poorly developed so-called 'social networking' market capitalization web sites out there don't equal the power of some weekend assetbar hack, when it's charged with a few good compadres. You all is good people. To quote Alan Kay: "The real romance is out ahead and yet to come. The computer revolution hasn't started yet."

So in the spirit of continuing a little bit this experiment of sharing and connecting, I have posted a few random pics that I think are cute, and a few of myself as well. I don't mean to be too forward or insinutating, but I reposted Achilleselbow's tribute too, with an open offer to add to it if anyone wants. Hope y'all like them. Ahh.. who am I kidding! It's not like I need to know if you care! XD

here it is and such

you are a Goof. mayhem dot net called they want their hafjhfvdjvnhsethsejthssg

oh wow there are already so many other versions! I will add them to my archive! later... I'm tired now..

Oh my god, your page is awesomely terrible! The background music, the lack of formatting, the fact that every link opens a new window - it's strangely wonderful in a nostalgic late-90's geocities/angelfire kinda way. Anyway, thanks for the tribute to my tribute. The one with Pat made me lol.

hell naww it's terribly awesome that graphic design took six minutes and it's the best damn layout in the world! And it didn't even use frames... nyuck nyuck nyuck

I'd like to point out that I have recognized one of you from your avatar and I STILL REMEMBER WHAT I CAUGHT YOU DOING back in high school.

I told you, that poop was already in the urinal when I got there!

THIS IS THE LONGEST CONVERSATION EVER

I know I'm pretty late, but that paint drawing is the only time I will ever be close to the concept of "pimping."

My feelins are pretty goddamn pro