i think it's safe to assume that once Ray realized he did not in fact have a clapper, he immediately replaced all the lighting in his house.
king_duncan » pro11 months ago
That seems entirely reasonable Ray to me.
sncether » neu11 months ago
NEW WORD: Raysonable
adj.
(1.)expensive and superfluous.
(2.)capable of being turned into a raisin.
[i]A scientist offered to make me a cantaloupe raisin using a machine! Only $500! That's going to be one bomb-ass raisin, don't you think? At first I didn't think so, but now it seems perfectly raysonable.[i]
professorriffs » neu11 months ago
Rayonnaise?
hamscout » neu11 months ago
Mustard-rayonaise?
This would be my Rayson d'etre...
thegoblins » neu11 months ago
Why are there so many screen names alluding to fetus-based violence?
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
He is angry at the fetus piñata.
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
This is a great .gif animation! I could use this.
Ha ha, but really? Why would you even save that? C'mon.
foetus_punch » neu10 months ago
Bashy hate foetus!
Also.
chuvak » neu11 months ago
I think it's an natural reaction to there being over 6 billion humans on the planet. Clearly that is too many and we need to... well I'm not going to say it.
stereo » neu11 months ago
Alls I'm saying is that forbidden fruit is delicious [see Bible, page 10] and what's more forbidden than eating fetuses?
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
Don't even think that.
pygmalion00 » neu11 months ago
Bitch, why you steal my creation?
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
Because he is aiu.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
I fucking hate you and hope you die.
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
I knew that guy was a troll. Probably aiu. Come to think of it, I'm not sure we have any other trolls.
deusoma » neu11 months ago
Does Dr. Manflesh still count as a troll, or is he some kind of Renaissance man now?
pogo » neu11 months ago
Personally, I ignore him, but that's just me.
rotating-dog » con11 months ago
Haha, your photoshop skills, they are terrible. My feelings on this asset are con
foetus_punch » neu10 months ago
Hey, what...Oh, DAMN IT, digested fetus. At least spell foetus in the manner of a class act. Puh-leaze.
quantumcasaba » neu11 months ago
mustRayostardRayonnaise
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
That's enough of that.
hbaranov » neu11 months ago
No Ray, man!
zwab » neu11 months ago
You have my full support. Good luck in the future.
c_dizzle » pro11 months ago
definite chubby for being able to weave both definitions into the demonstrative sentance.
rascaldom » neu11 months ago
I can picture Ray now: "Operator? Yea, get me Merriam-Webster on the phone. Whoever the head honcho is now."
opprobrium » neu11 months ago
"4:22 and drunk as a lord".
syx » neu11 months ago
Maybe he picked up a trick or two just from being in the same room with his father.
spinynorman » neu11 months ago
Yeah, I immediately thought it was an inherited trait.
nice-on-water » neu11 months ago
Whoops!
under » neu11 months ago
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
I think you have an issue with your transparency filter or some such high-tech nonsense that I know very little about.
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
As graphically low-class as it is, it is still a biting social commentary on current events.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Agreed.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Too bad it will now be banished to the ignore dimension along with the flashing gifs he's been posting. Why waste the effort on making quality posts if you're gonna be a troll anyway?
lateadopter » neu11 months ago
It is sad, though, to be torn between chubbying a post and ignoring the user. I already marked all the giant blinking gifs as spam, so this is the last post of under's where I can choose a path. You can't do two things on one post. I guess I'll have to ignore, just to make those things go away.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Wise move. If he's who we think he is, lames won't help. He'll just make a new account to get around them, and you will run out of lames. Then what will you do when people post Family Circus in here?
kamet » neu11 months ago
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
nice-on-water » neu11 months ago
w h y
expellens » pro11 months ago
Ray doesn't have the Clapper, yes. Remember - he is the son of the Man who can open a beer bottle with a well placed, "pfoo".
He's in training.
pogo » neu11 months ago
I think the bottle was already open and is just splashing a little in bed.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Speaking of splashing a little in bed I need to get me some of those pumps.
pogo » neu11 months ago
That's what she said.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
I used to splash a little in bed sometimes when I was younger, and then my mom would yell at me and call me names and not let me watch Lost that day.
gormster » neu11 months ago
Wait. Lost? How much younger can we possibly be talking? A few years?
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
which leads to the question...
is elbox from History??
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
to properly have it stuck to you, have one of these:
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
i'll try to refrain from this statement as much as i can (though it may be hard as we may be referencing History a lot with the company that LN's hooked up with.)
rowboat » pro4 months ago
Still sort of ironing out ideas on what kind of poster you were going to be here, were ya? Cute.
fineoakstructure » neu3 months ago
Do you mean because he only types certain words in all caps and not all of them?
I see that I was one of the 2 people who chubbied him, actually. I still stand by that.
theguitarhero » neu3 months ago
Yeah, just don't go back to my first post during Handface Weekend. I, ugh, I can't excuse that shit.
rowboat » pro3 months ago
Out of respect, I will not.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
That is the exact subtextual reading I was going for, though it took me disturbingly long to think of a reference that would immediately be recognized as recent.
ebessan » neu11 months ago
You can see the cirk on Ray's pillow.
ebessan » neu11 months ago
Cork, rather.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
I'm sorry, but I can't see any cock in that picture
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
If you cannot see the cock in the picture then you are the cock. The picture has Zen Magical Realism.
ashoykh » neu11 months ago
The clapper opened the champagne bottle and the cork from the bottle turned off the light switch. Ray is a playa.
mawk » pro2 months ago
I had assumed that being Son of Luther, the ability to open Liquors through such means runs through his veins.
guy can't yet quite blow the top off of a bottle of brew, but the affinity for such a thing is there.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Yes in-fucking-deedy!
pogo » neu11 months ago
That's the perfect line for your new avicon.*
*[A guy sort of snapping his fingers across his body]
usversusthem » neu11 months ago
As I recall, he's actually demonstrating the strange sexual technique that Gomorrah was named after. True story! (Google that shit.)
pogo » neu11 months ago
Okay, I get the source now. Not funny, not cool.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
MOST unsexily.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
I recommend clicking "watch all episodes"--all good stuff.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Potentially nsfw, though. I mean, they're just cartoons...but you possibly don't want your boss to catch you watching cartoons. Cartoons that make fun of the bible and reference the masturbatory habits of a thirty-year-old man-child. Guess it depends on where you work.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
If you work at a church, then chances are you're not on Assetbar so it's okay.
thegoblins » neu11 months ago
I wouldn't be so sure.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
Yeah that's kinda stereotyping.
You'd be surprised.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
As a guy that was on the leadership at a couple of churches recently, I can say that it is pretty standard amongst Western Christian morality to avoid dirty jokes, blasphemy, and the suchlike:
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Ephesians 5:4 (New International Version)
(obviously there's a lot of other verses and contexts in the Bible that put forward this sorta idea)
Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood, because it's hilarious and I took verses like this and doctrines based on the general idea to be dependent on the social context (example: in Australia, you can say "ass/arse" on midday TV and nobody bats an eye, whereas in the US they even censor "balls" last time I checked - obscenity is dependent on your social context), and I also had a number of fellow born-again friends who enjoyed similar humour. So I'm not saying that everyone who's a serious Christian, or works in a church that falls within the pale of generally accepted Christian orthodoxy, will not read Achewood - but chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't.
That's all I'm sayin', bra.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
Edit: "Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood during that time..."
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
i consider myself a serious Christian and am taking a break from being a leader for my church's youth group. there are times that you can take yourself (and/or your beliefs) too seriously and that's where bible-thumping and abortion clinic bombings come from.
it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..but when Jesus was all about loving people, you gotta step back sometimes and figure exactly where you stand.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
Yeah I love Jesus and I love Achewood.
You can have your cake and go to heaven too.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
I will reiterate what I say:
"chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't."
I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm actually agreeing with you.
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
Saul good, homestyle. just sayin' my thing. Achewood is a good comic. (and also a website!)
drskradley » neu11 months ago
Not a problem. Didn't want it to sound like an attack on anyone's beliefs, instead making an attempted amusing comment about the standards of a particular subculture, in a deadpan fashion in context with the Assetbarian sub-subculture. Theological, ethical, or philosophical criticisms were not intended.
I personally have Issues and Bitterness that it would be folly to go into here*, but I'm not saying anyone's Right or Wrong or Stupid, either - because hell, I may well be. I just, currently, have disagreements, which are my own and should be neither your blessing nor your curse.
*I sorta went into it anyway.
morypcaina » neu11 months ago
now I'm nitpicking
"'coarse joking'"
I heard a top 40 radio station in the US censor "drugs" from that horrible Nickelback song "Rock Star".
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
When I was a DJ, we heard about some college station being fined for saying something "sucks".
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
Ha ha! What?
stereo » neu11 months ago
I've heard God censored on radio, as in Harvey Danger "They cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee **** damn you"
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
A lot of people censor 'god damn'. It's oft believed to fall under the realm of "Lord's name in vain". You can usually hear 'god' and 'damn', just not together
tekende » neu3 months ago
Yeah, but it's funny that they choose to censor "god" and not "damn" which is a borderline cuss word. Kind of like on network TV, if someone says "asshole" they bleep out "hole" instead of "ass". That always amused me.
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
Having to choose between Jesus and Achewood should never be an either/or.
rowboat » pro4 months ago
It doesn't bother me that you feel that way.
But fuck you for making me read that sentence.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
And now, I'm going to nitpick, because it's fun to. And I have a number of chips on my manly, lumberjackian shoulders:
Quote:
it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..
I hate it when people mention this, because by and large, I would argue that more people were killed in the name of greed than anything else.
Sometimes religious beliefs were the reasoning, but the vast majority of wars were fought purely due to one group of people wanting the natural resources/money/slaves/whatever of another group of people. Often religious beliefs were used, by rulers or society or both, and to varying extent, as a justification for it (see: The 2003 American Invasion of Iraq), but deep down it generally comes down to economics. This could potentially even be argued for The Crusades (I'll leave the details of such an argument for or against to someone more knowledgeable on the subject than I).
That's if we're talkin' wars, of course. Massacres, witchhunts, The Game, and various other murders and the suchlike: the most common reasoning for these are up to debate, and the variables are surely numerous.
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
as money is the root of all evil, i accede to your reasoning.
skrad: 1
capn: less than 1.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
Quote:
as money is the root of all evil...
[/i]10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.[/i] 1 Timothy 6:10
Okay I'll stop now. I wasn't going to be such a pedant, but I'd already pressed "Post".
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
BOOBS
drskradley » neu11 months ago
LOVE THEM etc
techiebabe » neu11 months ago
I find it very amusing to watch two people being very careful to make sure neither offends the other.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Offensiveness is very underrated.
rowboat » pro4 months ago
I fucked your mother just before she died. The last thing she saw was my sweaty sex face. She loved that terrible face more than she loved your existence.
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
it would've completely turned Assetbar into a civil war...though i would have like nobody on my side.
(and ultimately it would be kitty nom nom ftw)
pogo » neu11 months ago
I agree, the tired old cliche about people being killed in the name of religion needs to be debunked. Wars are about power and resources, and in Europe at least, both sides were saying "God bless us."
thegoblins » neu11 months ago
Y'all are so sensible!
goro » neu11 months ago
Religion is messed up.
lateadopter » neu11 months ago
Quote:
it is pretty standard amongst Western Christian morality to avoid dirty jokes
The speaker at my sister's college was a Catholic cardinal, namely Cardinal Sin of the Philippines. He told dirty jokes during his speech. They involved husbands and wives, but the jokes were about sex. You could argue he was Eastern, but his religion was as Western as they come.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Wait, did you say his name was Cardinal Sin?
irondave » neu11 months ago
He did and it was.
akarroa » neu11 months ago
Presbyterians seem to be the most liberal. We recently started allowing gay pastors and participating in the Day of Silence.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
You got nothing on unitarians or Quakers.
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
By the way, it was my UU church that got shot up last week.
Not good, not cool, makes me a very pissed off and hurt UU.
loneal » neu11 months ago
Hey, I used to be one of them Presbyterians! Figures they'd let the gays in as soon as I left the church.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
That's awesome, no doubt, but I repeat: it's not standard. Oh, I know full well that it happens, but not hugely often it's gotta be said.
jshelton » neu11 months ago
I not only work at a church, I want to get my MDiv. And Achewood is just about my favorite thing ever!
jshelton » neu11 months ago
Except for Jesus. He pretty much tops the list.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
I've always thought the qualification "Master of Divinity" to be far too easily misconstrued as claiming something else entirely.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Being really good at making delicious, nougaty, vanilla-flavored confections?
Dude, about a billion posts above, ethelthefrog wrote: For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Just keep trying until it works. Seriously pogo man. You neeeeeeed to see it.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Okay, I saw it, and it totally sucks ass.
howl » neu11 months ago
I can't see it either, but it's because of the goddamn parental controls
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Aw, diddums.
howl » neu8 months ago
Indeed.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Sorry, way too inaccurate and exaggerated for me. Like little kids just using the Bible as an excuse to be "dirty."
cleanfatback » neu11 months ago
[a guy demonstrating "Gemorrah - an even weirder move"]
cleanfatback » neu11 months ago
i am a bad person because i didnt even LOOK below
usversusthem » neu11 months ago
That's okay man you have Madvillainy as your avicon... all is forgiven.
magnetocat » neu11 months ago
Ray applies the Fonzie technique to champagne bottles.
maximus » neu11 months ago
Clap on, Clap off!
purplehaze » neu11 months ago
Beef and Molly could write novels based on what they do in bed
awko » neu11 months ago
Paging Dr Manflesh. Dr Manflesh to the fan-fic ward immediately.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
Get me three crudely drawn representations of Wolverine doing Batman, stat.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
I started to look, then I decided to not.
flynn » pro11 months ago
Chubby for personal restraint
dangelder » neu11 months ago
pogo » neu11 months ago
Where was her neck back then?
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Man, if she'd known a picture was being taken when she was lying down she would have pulled those covers right up over her head.
odei » neu11 months ago
Chubby for the idea that Achewood is either drawn from photographic references or that it is in fact made from photos.
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
You mean it's... not?
retinarow » neu11 months ago
What do you think is in the subscriber zone?
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
it was suggested that a nonstop orgy of blood and guts was on the menu.
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Although it has been revealed that the actual function of the "blunderbuss" was to coat LN in an exact replica of the Welsh brothers' clothing.
How many more of them were harvested in this manner?
daidai » neu11 months ago
three
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Thanks!
daidai » neu11 months ago
...and with the newfound trust of i_love_kate, step 3 of Operation:Kill i_love_kate began.
"Four more steps to go" thought daidai.
He would not survive long enough to see his plan reach fruition.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
daidai never made it back home...
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
"Thanks... for everything," murmured I_Love_Kate, snapping his cellphone shut with a decisive sound, a half jovial, half self-assured smile playing across his features.
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
Wait, wait wait. What's happening
maximus » neu11 months ago
Teo, Teo, Teo
Of all the characters in Achewood, he was the most
...human.
troy_convers » pro11 months ago
Queue Lyle on the bagpipes.
drskradley » neu11 months ago
If nobody has seen it yet, you should all see it.
A tale of the Forbiddens, known only by darkest thoughts and desires:
That's too much to expect from Assetbar. You know this.
methadone » neu11 months ago
T is so aware of his epic failure that he can't sleep until penance has been paid
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
It seems to be working. His eyes are at least 30% smaller than in the reception scene, and his eyebrows have moved an inch or so downward. The lad will be alright.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
His penance is to listen to their bizarre (totally hot) mating rituals for the next several hours
rascaldom » neu11 months ago
You can just hear his inner jealousy and lust and bitterness. Why do you torture yourself T?
metatronatra » neu11 months ago
Something about a girl who shops at PayLess is just so goddamned dirty and it TURNS A DOGG ON
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
ahem...I, uh...I...shop at Payless.
sncether » neu11 months ago
BoGo a-go-go
snidedk » neu11 months ago
How you doin'?
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
So, uh, want to get a drink? What are your feelings on manacles?
professorhazard » pro11 months ago
What news from the north?
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
44 minutes. Nice catch. I was hoping to see some sort of goofy RPG/news from the north crossover here, but I applaud your speed prof
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
I will continue chubbying "what news from the north" posts even if I am the only one left. It's just you and me, prof, up against the world!
tekende » pro11 months ago
As will I, as long as I have a chubby to spare when they appear. And I did this time.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
I don't get it. Did I miss something? Will someone explain it?
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
it's supposed to be like from some Roman gig, someone named Manacles riding back from war and folk yelling 'what news of the [wherever]'.
at least this is my understanding. someone else got a better explanation?
laserblade » neu11 months ago
Specifically, it comes from a discussion of how the plural of "clitoris" is "clitorides," which sounds like the name of a dogg who might have some news from the north. A better man than I can find the exact asset and link you to it.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
It's here, just search for "clitorides" and you'll see the genesis of this lovely meme, with me unwittingly planting the seed and the professor eagerly impregnating himself with it.
pogo » neu11 months ago
It's from Braveheart:
Longshanks: What news of the North?
Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word.
Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
That's a good one, but I'm pretty sure it was this:
From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'
invidious » neu11 months ago
Clitorides? I love that guy!
speccer » neu11 months ago
Not as much as I love Gumbercules.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Gumby is a bitch. Pumjesticles is my personal hero
clits » pro11 months ago
LOVE HIM
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
The truth, fellows, is that the phrase is...
... FROM HISTORY
fuck you theguitarhero
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
:(
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
Whew! Somebody's bakin' brownies!
gyrate » neu11 months ago
FROM OUT THE COLD AND BLOODY NORTH
AN EVIL DEMON SPRANG!!!
IT ATE UP ALL THE LEFTOVERS
AND WASHED THEM DOWN WITH TANG!!!
pogo » neu11 months ago
And the source?
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Come on Pogo, you don't know where Boromir is from? Considering Lord of the Rings was published during your childhood, your age is no excuse for not knowing this particular reference.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Cast of thousands, and all I remember are Frodo and Gandalf.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
AND MY AXE.
Oh man, two in one thread.
tekende » neu11 months ago
On the other hand, I refuse to chubby AND MY AXE posts.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Clits?
Moist?
Dead?
tekende » neu11 months ago
Clits sometimes. Moist usually goes along with those, so sometimes.
Dead, rarely. (Assuming you mean the "My ____ died from _____, not funny, not cool," etc.)
invidious » neu11 months ago
My clits died from lack of moisture, not funny, not cool, not a good thread.
kamet » neu11 months ago
I chubby clits, just not moist ones. Ya hafta have standards.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
So you're saying like dry clits? That's like having a thing for flaccid penises.
A man's thing when it's under a skirt is so soft, like a big flower. The trouble is you can never really hold it in your hands, if it would only stay quiet, but it starts moving around like an animal, it gets hard, it frightens me when it's hard and sticking up in the air, it's brutal; God, how rotten love is. I loved Henri because his little thing never got hard, never raised its head...
kamet » neu11 months ago
Eh, I was going for something infinitely creepy.. and it just didn't pan out for me.
gyrate » neu11 months ago
So...we can't give Henri a chubby?
pogo » neu11 months ago
Good band name, Dry Clits.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
But a horrible addition to trail mix.
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Virtual
Chubby.
maximus » neu11 months ago
You know, using a meme is another way of saying
ME ME!
(say "thank you, coach")
sdskyle » neu11 months ago
omg where did u get this?
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
What is wrong with you?
cleanfatback » neu10 months ago
That is absolutely from that one book i had read. The whole thing was about a dude who couldnt get it up
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
He didn't even set you up! He set you up through synonyms, which doesn't count.
professorriffs » neu11 months ago
Baby I got some Red Wings made for doing certain things in a certain room of the house.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
:O
irondave » neu11 months ago
Man, that is like the complete opposite of shopping at Payless.
davey-boy » neu11 months ago
Going barefoot, I suppose.
gyrate » neu11 months ago
Li'l Nephew looks snappy in a tie, although the rest of the outfit makes it look like they're all helpstaff at Home Depot.
riazm » neu11 months ago
I wonder if this change will result in a change to the blogs.
pyromancer » pro11 months ago
Also he's looking pretty fresh for someone so recently pierced by a slug.
lexsenthur » neu11 months ago
Gotta be dead to ride on a ghost car.
kickstart » pro11 months ago
There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know. hold me
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
I'll hold you kickstart. I can protect you from the horrible ghost trains. Just put these pumps on first...
daidai » neu11 months ago
I won't be able to properly convey the sitcom music-cue that came into my mind when I read that comment, but I'll try.
na-Na-na-Na-nana-Na RA-AAPE!
lexsenthur » neu11 months ago
Adam West's "Rape-Man"?
techiebabe » neu11 months ago
Oh good, I was afraid those were for me. whew
kickstart » neu11 months ago
but those make me look cheap, mister robot Dracula!
krispykorn » neu11 months ago
MISTER ROBOT DRACULA DON'T GOT MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK MWWWWWA-HA-HA
phy » neu11 months ago
When I was a child, my parents would point out ghost cars on the road. And until they explained what that meant, I was always confused, because they weren't floating or translucent or anything.
spinynorman » neu11 months ago
The only ghost cars I know of are the ones that forever evade Police Chief Wiggum, and maybe that taxi cab the rotting-corpse-guy drives in Ghostbusters.
...
ohhh, I believe it's magic magic...
magic...
octafish » neu11 months ago
Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up!
professorhazard » pro11 months ago
How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?
chuvak » neu11 months ago
Yes, have some.
aperson » neu11 months ago
...not cool? not a good strip?
irondave » neu11 months ago
Kate is looking very fetching in this new iconotar.
aperson » neu11 months ago
She is isnt she.
{they both gaze at Kate, heads tilted in calm adoration}
squares » neu11 months ago
i_love_kate
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Fuck you, that's my gimmick.
retinarow » neu11 months ago
Molly's family is so old that the family car is a steam train.
retinarow » neu11 months ago
(The word "school" can be inserted after "old" as seen necessary.)
heccibiggs » neu11 months ago
The space of time between your comments makes me think that you spent seven hours fretting about whether or not to add that little extra part.
retinarow » neu11 months ago
I was worried.
pwb » pro11 months ago
the cheap purple pumps
dracula strikes again
postblank » neu11 months ago
Dracula must be in between jobs, because he never seems to have a lot of money.
endoftheworld » neu11 months ago
Would you hire Dracula? I wouldn't.
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
Well he certainly can't work during the day.
tetsujin » neu11 months ago
That's alright - it's hard to find people for the night shift...
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
No, it's hard to find people who'll work the nightshift without sneaking up behind their female virgin coworkers and draining their convulsing bodies of blood, turning their coworker into one of their immortal servants of the night.
Which completely fucks up the order of management, let me tell you.
sncether » neu11 months ago
I AM THE DEATH SOUND
AND I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME
BRO
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
People are looking at me... looking at me because I am laughing at the Internet.
squares » neu11 months ago
He just really needs to be the Night Manager then.
tekende » pro11 months ago
Is it wrong that this kinda turned me on? Or do you agree that it is okay?
daidai » neu11 months ago
for a split second I thought you were referring to sncether's post. For that split second I judged you harshly.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
THA BLOOD
...
OF THEEZ WHO-O-ORES
...
IS KILLING ME.
Oh, he knows by now what goes on by that window. Teodor is a man (bear), a lonely man (bear): he has his weak, desparate moments.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
I'm warning you people. First person to say some shit like "Teodor is a lonely man (bear (pig)) or shit like that gets pistol whipped
squares » neu11 months ago
what kind of pistol? i only ask 'cause i have a friend..that uh...likes that sort of thing. if it's the right pistol.
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
/pistol whips the shit out of hedonismbot
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
What you did there was you thought of a bad joke and wanted to post it, but were afraid of getting lamed, so you wrapped up said bad joke in a warning which served to distance yourself from it, thereby having your cake and eating it also (what a long sentence).
I am on to you hedonismbot.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
I see that the good Professor has already made this point more succinctly.
speccer » neu11 months ago
Hey Farva, what's Al Gore after in that stupid South Park episode?
kickstart » pro11 months ago
double reference c-c-c-combo!!
heh. Shenanigans.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
That episode pretty much epitomized everything I hate about South Park.
speccer » neu11 months ago
For me, South Park manages to do that in every episode.
arbie » neu11 months ago
Don't need a broom to guilt skriff the overhearings of open window foreplay.
lonestar52 » neu11 months ago
This is an ominous tunr of events for little nephew.
Did they have trains in 17th century Wales?
lonestar52 » neu11 months ago
Turn, even.
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
yes, but in a way that is hard to care about.
retinarow » neu11 months ago
Dude they don't even have trains in Wales now. All they have is disdain and sheep.
laserblade » neu11 months ago
And consonants.
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Mr. Putin looks sooo tired of those Welsh consonants. He is not a man you want to bore.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
But is he a man you want to bone?
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
I just wanted to say, despite our previous differences in Internet related humour. Brad Neely is my hero and your avitars have brought me great joy. Now go get me my birthday cake.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Thanks. I just hope that person with the Babycakes avicon posts more often so we can have hilarious in-character interactions.
speccer » neu11 months ago
I'm tellin' you right now, I am gonna fuck this up.
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
Oh please. If anybody's fucking shit up, it's me.
laserblade » neu11 months ago
Please. I have a blackbelt in judo and access to 30,000 nuclear missiles. I'm the true upfucker of shit.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo.
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
"Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo."
Sounds like a liquor advertisement.
"Got a lil' Pogp in ya?"
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
pogo."Got a lil' Pogo in ya?"
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
I need to start smoking again.
Maybe then I'll be able to type.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
If you are fourteen, you can have a little Pogo in you whenever you want. Or when you don't want.
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Coming up next in Achewood: The Little Nephew Retrieval Arc.
falseprophet » neu11 months ago
Man the Little Nephew Retrieval Arc is so awesome but why did they just interrupt it for the Captain Amagai Shuusuke Filler Arc man that is lame!
endoftheworld » neu11 months ago
Little Nephew, you must master the Konami Code before the Saiyans arrive!!1!
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
But it's ok, you've got time, because three/fifths of the episodes will just be their spaceship flying to Earth and another fifth will be them charging up to attack.
You've got time.
echidnaboy » neu11 months ago
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
:O
plummet » pro11 months ago
i experienced a chubgasm
heccibiggs » neu11 months ago
I think that's called ejaculation?
hbaranov » neu11 months ago
I dunno, but I regret only having one chubbie to give
lexsenthur » neu11 months ago
DUN na dun dun Da Dun nu nuuuu
Da na Nu na Nu na Nuuuuu..NAH NAH NAH!
contrasoma » neu11 months ago
Glad to see I'm not the only Hokuto no Ken nerd on here.
akarroa » neu11 months ago
I am honestly terrified of almost all anime and manga. THEY WILL KILL ME IF I OFFEND THEM...
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Oh boy! Oh boy! A new adventure!
That was my actual thought as I opened this morning's Achewood, coffee in hand, expectant and rewarded with the tingling feeling of happy anticipation. Boys take note: this is foreplay, and it is Important.
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
Oh Ethel, I must tell you how much I love you avicon.
And now I have. Thank you for your time.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Foreplay is the thing you people like before cuddling, right? Or is it the part after apologizing for not pulling out fast enough? I always forget where the foreplay goes.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Up your robot ass, that's where it goes.
pogo » neu11 months ago
I'm getting into 24-hour advance foreplay, if possible, so my beloved can wake up and say, "Tonight, we f*ck!"
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
Is that like Fuckin'
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
or f-f-f-fuckin'?
pogo » neu11 months ago
Yes, only more polite.
professorhazard » con11 months ago
I am completely baffled by the idea that one can make it completely clear what the word one is saying is supposed to be - to the point that the only thing that can appear in the reader's mind is the word in question, as sure as (IF NOT MORE THAN) he had simply read the word himself - and it is considered censorship.
pogo » neu11 months ago
A bikini top is like the asterisk is f*uck.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Shit, I meant f*ck.
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
phuk?
hbaranov » neu11 months ago
fcuk
spinynorman » neu11 months ago
Psst....
Psst, Ethel...
spinynorman » neu11 months ago
AW, awwwwwwww.....
Maybe this will...
Hmm...
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
!
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Oh, hee hee hee!
Hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
echidnaboy » pro11 months ago
MAKE IT STOP I WANT TO GET OFF
kickstart » pro11 months ago
I got two turntables and a couple pets two turntables and a couple pets
octafish » neu11 months ago
You are where it's at!
fineoakstructure » neu11 months ago
That's beautiful, Dad.
professorhazard » pro11 months ago
Dachshunds and cats, and just clap your hands, and just clap your hands.
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
seven days a week, he's on call
to get the party people up off the wall.
you'll feel motivated as he operates
'cos party energy is what he generates.
he'll prescribe for you a potent elixir:
two turntables, speaker and a mixer.
he'll rock your party.
wherever you be.
callin' dr. dre to surgery.
(this was the sample provided in Encarta 98's entry on Rap.)
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
COME HERE FREAK,
CLOSER AND SEE,
DR DRE OPERATE IN SURGERY
never in my life did I expect to see the lyrics to World Class Wreckin' Cru's "Surgery" on Assetbar.
That was Dr. Dre's first group, and it was absolute dance, dance, DANCE! Cpnglxynchos, you are rad.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
Too bad I don't have spam marking privileges?
squares » neu11 months ago
yeah what the fuck is up with that shit?
mortshire » pro11 months ago
I do, man, and I got your back. I'm goin' on a spam hunt!
hbaranov » neu11 months ago
You sir are a cunt.
(directed at the .gif poster of monochrome irritation)
lateadopter » neu11 months ago
I disagree. Cunts are nice ("moist, love 'em," right?). This guy is rude. Not like rude titties, just rude.
thepunchman » neu11 months ago
This is obvious because lil' nephew had no Magreaux dog.
keir » pro11 months ago
Reebok Pumps aren't cheap, they're exceedingly expensive - and I've never seen purple ones.
usversusthem » neu11 months ago
I really don't have a clue whether or not you're being facetious. Therefore I'm not going to either chubby or lame you. I just wanted to explain myself so you understand the lack of ratings on your comment. I should not be posting on Assetbar on so little sleep. That is all.
keir » pro11 months ago
Beef and Molly's here,
and they're in effect
Want you to pump it, babe
Coolin' by day then
at night working up
a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go
show the guys that we
know
How to become number one
in a hot party show
NOW PUMP IT
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - pump it real good
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - p-pump it real good
quantumcasaba » neu11 months ago
Great, now all we need is LN's life story set to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Please don't let this happen
slanger » neu11 months ago
Pumps are high heels. You mostly heard them called that in the 80s.
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Ray applauds the climax of the day.
zedpower » neu11 months ago
Little Nephew has worn this expression for his entire life.
Now he finally knows why.
squares » neu11 months ago
Life is hilarious!
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
Ray, are you pulling a Sam Malone? Is it all over?
Will there be a spin-off?
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Oh... first four panels... that's the Achewood I love.
squares » neu11 months ago
You must be a fan of Cartlidge Head...
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
*HUGE fan
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Cartlidge Head is my favourite arc. GOF is amazing, but Cartlidge Head is right up my alley.
Hedonimsbot. I've left it open for you...
quaga » neu11 months ago
How will little nephew ever manage to take pictures of his junk in the hot tub now?
sncether » neu11 months ago
Not even a daguerrotype to be found in 16th century Wales (so pictures of his stern, unsmiling junk in a high collar are right out). Maybe we'll get some Little Nephew's Junk triptychs?
I am not sure what constituted popular art in 17th century Wales.
sncether » neu11 months ago
i have a hell of a time with the fucking century molly is from.
laserblade » neu11 months ago
17th, maybe 18th, I think, because she died on a ship bound for America.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
Maybe they were on their way to good Prince Madoc's colony?
sncether » neu11 months ago
It was established in a zine and, later, a comic that the good ship Gwynqeathe sank in 1676, taking with it Molly Sanders and the other members of the Sanders clan. So it's not that I'm flubbing my own speculative dates, I'm just fucking up.
OTHER EVENTS OF 1676
-Providence, Rhode Island is sacked during the course of King Phillip's War
-The Speed of Light is first quantitatively measured
-Some people of middling fame die; others, also of middling fame, are born to replace them
All in all, a lousy year.
thegoblins » neu11 months ago
B..b...but they measured the speed of light!
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
To be fair it was two guys in a warehouse with a lantern, and the verdict was "jolly fast indeed"
loeras » neu11 months ago
did that... did that train materialize out of nowhere?
alephnought » neu11 months ago
I believe it's of the same family of cabooses as Lonis Edison's bed-and-breakfast endeavor. Possibly.
Sorta?
chuvak » neu11 months ago
DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINS?!
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
I could go the rest of my life without another weeaboo joke.
tekende » neu11 months ago
Hey guys. theguitarhero just said "weeaboo."
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
Oh fuck.
pogo » con11 months ago
I didn't really care what this strange word meant, but went to look anyway, and now I really don't want to know why the cartoon people get spanked for saying this. The guy stopped doing the strip, apparently.
daidai » neu11 months ago
...the hell is this tricky commotion...?
davey-boy » neu11 months ago
The joke as I understand it is that 'Weeaboo' is first presented as a failing project that people management has put too many resources and man hours on, then it turns out that it is some office douche's idea of a fraternal prank, suggesting that they spend too much time on this dickery, getting no work done.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Right, but there's a second meaning to the term, which is a white or otherwise non-Asian person who is way too into Japanese culture, kind of like a counterpart to "wigger". I think this is completely unrelated to the comic, and I don't know which came first, but a lot of times people fuse the two meanings by quoting the line after someone references a particularly obscure anime or something of the sort, thus suggesting that the offending weaboo requires spanking.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Visual aid:
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
speccer » neu11 months ago
Her right pupil appears to be beginning mitosis.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
I can't think of a more graceful way of putting this: that is just fucking dreadful, that is dog shit. I don't like to swear on the internet, but this person has driven me to it. What a highly inadvisable piece of body art.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
man, that's actually INCREDIBLY hard to do. I tried last Halloween, I was going as Pikachu, but it was just impossible as all hell.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Am I allowed to be totally turned on right now?
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Well Autre, I bet it's easier if you let someone else draw it on you. Here, come over here and close your eyes and I'll do a nice Pokechu for you
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
i will admit it took me less than a second to decide i would completely have have physical relations with this girl.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
You would not only have them, but have have them.
lateadopter » neu11 months ago
reduplication = intensification
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
immediately posthaste!
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Really? I'm with hedonismbot here... That is all sorts of unnattractive.
kickstart » neu11 months ago
there's gonna be a ridiculous amount of five-head when that makeup (sharpie?) comes off.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Yea I think she actually looks better this way than she would normally.
gowerski » neu11 months ago
obligatory nasty/dogshit
irondave » neu11 months ago
Shit ain't right.
syrupykeyboard » neu11 months ago
Eri....Erica? Is that--is that you?
Holy shit, I think that's Erica.
Erica, what in the sam hill are you doing putting photos of yourself lookin' like that on the web?!
pogo » neu11 months ago
Way cool, way hot.
stereo » neu11 months ago
I can't be certain, but I think the white-person-into-Japanese-culture version of the definition came from 4chan and came after the comic. Stuff goes in the 4chan word filter and it ends up being a meme quite often out of nowhere.
chuvak » neu11 months ago
Yeah it kinda morphed from referencing Gurwich's "Weeaboo" strip in PBF to meaning "person who is nerdily into things japanese". It also can mean "kinda gay". As usual, 4chan was involved.
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Someone whip me up a picture of Shatner screaming from Wrath of Khan, with the subtitle "4chan".
Come on guys I ain't have no money for Photoshop.
westsider8 » neu11 months ago
Don't need no photoshop boy:
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
You know I got no sense of image insertion!
spectre » pro11 months ago
Not completely. The most recent cartoon -- Laugh Line or some such -- was posted last week. I only got into PBF because when I went to Amazon to pre-order the GOF book, Amazone tried to upsell me a combo with GOF and THE TRIAL OF COLONEL SWEETO from PBF. I think PBF is the funniest thing going on the web these days. (Achewood is the BEST cartoon on the web, but sometimes is more thought-provoking or dramatic than funny.)
usversusthem » neu11 months ago
Hey guys. There is a new PBF comic up. For serious. It turns out that Gurewitch wasn't lying when he said "partial retirement." Also it's pretty good.
invidious » neu11 months ago
Bout fuckin' time. As soon as he put out the Colonel Sweeto book he started working less than the DMV.
pogo » neu11 months ago
But what about this?: As of Feburary 2008, Nicholas has taken a break from it to pursue other things. There is no official update schedule currently.
usversusthem » neu11 months ago
Basically it just means he'll put up a new comic when he damn well pleases, instead of once a week or so. That one is the first new one in like two months or something.
falseprophet » neu11 months ago
I would actually like to see Teodor use a time-travelin' train to go back in time and find his Penny and use his knowledge of the future to deceive her into bedding him. Then he can return to the present and sad some poetry about he is a tool for abusing physics and the heart of a woman to get what he wants out of life.
Good times.
stereo » neu11 months ago
If she calls him a fuzzy-wuzzy teddy-bear and hugs him it will all be worth it
sirhan_duran » neu11 months ago
my chubby clip is empty
morypcaina » neu11 months ago
thank you for reverbing "sad"
it was almost just an adjective again.
joeynarcotic » pro11 months ago
Hopefully Charley stays gone at least as long as Todd did last time he died. It's nice when folks stay dead a while, it gives you a chance to miss them.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
I repeated that to my best friend, but he did not see the funny side and stormed out of his own mothers funeral.
lexsenthur » neu11 months ago
Man, turn out your own funeral.
morypcaina » neu11 months ago
it must have been in soviet russia if the mother turned out the son instead of being turned out (viz. Ray's Flowchart)
end joke
blastradius » pro11 months ago
That should be the case. It should take Ray quite awhile before he even remembers that he sent Little Nephew off too Wales, and a might longer to figure out that Wales is Heaven/Hell.
smallblackdog » neu11 months ago
No - you realise what Wales is like in an instinctive momentary flash. Like sitting in the back of the bus and realising you have a terminal illness.
octafish » neu11 months ago
Hey I'm walkin' here!
Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
retro » neu11 months ago
Did you just Midnight Cowboy me?
davey-boy » neu11 months ago
Drivin' around in Jon Voight's car
aaa » neu11 months ago
This caboose had fidelity. Rivets even.
skoora » neu11 months ago
You know, if you aren't able to see Taffy's hands, he looks like a pervert.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
Excellent. That has completely changed my view of Taffy. No wonder he has such useful hand and wrist dexterity for the lightning box.
professorhazard » neu11 months ago
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
*Honk honk*
Bingo!
wfl » neu11 months ago
Now we know what the "milk fog" REALLY is.
The boy must have much stamina.
daidai » neu11 months ago
oh ew
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
I'm betting few people will know this one, but has anyone seen Carnivale? The HBO show thing? There's a scene very much like this, except instead of going to Wales to play video games for eternity, a young woman is going to spend eternity is south Texas getting gangraped by miners. This comic made me think about that more than I normally do.
sncether » neu11 months ago
I have seen that episode, and I remember thinking, "Poor Lila. I bet she wishes she had a DS right about now."
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
A DS would not save her from the rape train. The rape train hasn't breaks
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
No, but she could play Picross while the rapage occured. It would help to keep her mind off of it.
thegoodwillgirl » neu11 months ago
It would have to be a gentle rape, or else she would keep tapping the wrong tiny, tiny squares. That would probably get aggravating. I mean, more than the rape even.
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Man, you people and your silly games. I've never been less interested in forcing my pleasantness into a woman before.
daidai » neu11 months ago
Has it brakes?
(I hate myself)
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Is it can have brakes?
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
IT HAVEN'T BRAKES!!!! WHOOO-WHOOOO!! CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA BITCHES!!! WHOOO-WHOOO!!
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
WHOO-WHOO MUTHAFUCKA! THIS BITCH BE JUMPIN' THA RAILZ!
speccer » neu11 months ago
Aww hellzicious yes!
kamet » neu11 months ago
Eh, she was trampy anyway.
nokidding » neu11 months ago
i really enjoy that show. why do all my favorites have to get canceled?
invidious » pro11 months ago
You know what, you're right. He kinda looks like that Texas A&M bell-ringer kid.
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
Oh, Aggies...
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
I had to give you that chub, Bix. I just had to. It came from the depths of my little orange heart.
squares » neu11 months ago
burnt orange heart?
squares » neu11 months ago
That was Texas Tech, holmes.
shirono » neu11 months ago
This is like poetry, man.
...also looks like Téodor is jumbled for the long term.
akadriver » pro11 months ago
Everything is alright in Ray's world. You've got to admire that.
spectre » pro11 months ago
Wait a minute, what happened to the camper and the 48-state minigolf tour?
falseprophet » pro11 months ago
The game was called on account of f-f-f-f-fuckin'
agentstinky » pro11 months ago
It was covered in the subscriber area; not sure if he'll make any comics about it. Apparently what's being shown in the comic isn't always the same as what's going on in the characters' "real" lives.
gbap » neu11 months ago
Wait... what?
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Kudos for your Woodring avicon. Nice.
spectre » pro11 months ago
#$%!#$% Now I gotta subscribe; well the stepkids can just eat Jello and Ramen and that's all there is to it.
<plea for sympathy>Their Dad just got fired from ANOTHER job and he's not sending child support . . . again. But it's a point of pride with me that I can look after my family without his !@$%!#$ $478 a month . . . for THREE kids.</plea for sympathy>
stereo » neu11 months ago
You mean Nice Pete has been killing people and we don't even know about it?
cpnglxynchos » neu11 months ago
possums » neu11 months ago
Oh oh poor lil' Charley's face :(
henrietta » pro11 months ago
Finally! Less wedding and more ghost train!
phy » neu11 months ago
Ghost caboose. The train is as solid and grounded in conventional reality as anything. When the caboose vanishes again, the train will overspeed and jump the rails, killing half a hundred commuters and setting back the cause of cheap, ubiquitous rail transport in North America by twenty years. Screw the Welsh Ghost Caboose.
phy » neu11 months ago
Incidentally caboose is one of the most fun words to say when you are really drunk. Scientists and doctors agree. Try it some time. "Cabooooooooose."
pogo » neu11 months ago
Try saying it in bed. [That is, with another human being, preferably of the female persuation, if you happen to be male.]
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
Uh oh, pogo, loneal's gonna getcha for that one.
loneal » neu11 months ago
Well, come on, are you telling me that "caboose" is more appropriate for straight sex than for two dudes doing it?
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
This is true. I was actually gonna post "I'll screw your Welsh Ghost Caboose!" in response to phy, but then I seriously considered the direction in which my life was heading and decided against it.
phy » neu11 months ago
The direction in which your life was heading was, to make it explicit, the caboose.
pogo » neu11 months ago
I shan't ever recommend man-on-man action.
davey-boy » neu11 months ago
Bad expierience? 'Cause I here it is pretty radical.
hatstand_mcq » neu11 months ago
I have heard that after you have had male homosexual sex three times you get a complimentary sample selection of soaps and shampoos and the recipe for some really kick-arse chocolate brownies.
kamet » neu11 months ago
I hear that after you have homosexual sex three times, Michael Keaton shows up in a bad costume.
davey-boy » neu11 months ago
I heard after your first time, you get a lifetime subscription to the magasine of your choice.
loneal » neu11 months ago
I think your new nickname should be No Homo Pogo.
contrasoma » neu11 months ago
Ah, "no homo". The Dipset doth protest too much, methinks.
fineoakstructure » neu11 months ago
At least make it "No Homos Pogo," so he's allowed to at least have one.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Sounds like Latin. I like it.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
Is it a sure-fire laugh, or what? I MUST KNOW POGO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SAY CABOOSE IN BED
IS IT SAFE
tekende » neu11 months ago
Here's what happens.
The man is doing the woman doggy-style. He says "caboose." The woman laughs, causing muscles to move and things to vibrate in the belly area, and in a matter of seconds things move together just right for the woman to have an orgasm.
Or maybe I'm just completely making this up. Take your pick.
pogo » neu11 months ago
Tekende is close, but I would think that the booty-hole was the caboose, wouldn't you?
hedonismbot » neu11 months ago
Hee Hee! Booty-hole. That is a hilarious word. Booty-hole. "I'm hooking this big black engine to your caboose baby!" "What? You mean my, my, um, booty-hole?"
loneal » neu11 months ago
Somehow that is one of the least appealing euphemisms I have ever heard. How did you get that innocuous little phrase to sound more vulgar than even "anus"?
aperson » neu11 months ago
The Butt Opening
ethelthefrog » neu11 months ago
Balloon Knot
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
lest we forget:
chocolate starfish
(thank you, fourth grade!)
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
God damn, I think I was in high school when that came out. Thanks for making me feel old.
tragicone » neu11 months ago
yeah, i mean, i'm the same age as him but i remember atleast 6th grade.
kamet » neu11 months ago
See, I was thinking "Thank you Primus"
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
Oh man. There was a very middle of the road rock band in Oz that did a cover of "You're so vein" called Chocolate Starfish. I... I still don't understand.
achilleselbow » neu11 months ago
I thought autrepoupee was referencing Limp Bizkit, but maybe that's just because I am of low mind.
autrepoupee » neu11 months ago
Haha oh my good achilleselbow i've never even heeaaard of this Limped Biscuit of which you speak! Gracious me, who would reference such a thing? Tarry tarry, what a mazzew.
chuvak » neu11 months ago
Cornhole.
loneal » neu11 months ago
All of these are somehow less disturbing than "booty hole." Oh my God, I am cringing just typing it.
i_love_kate » neu11 months ago
Squeezebucket.
pogo » neu11 months ago
My word made Loneal cringe! Oh frabjous day!!
tragicone » neu11 months ago
calooh callay?
squares » neu11 months ago
what about Dookie Chute?
woodenteeth » neu11 months ago
I always hated: Mangina.
Whatever you do don't think about it too much. Your brain will cross association streams and a rip in the space time continuum will open up.
octafish » neu11 months ago
You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.
You ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
loneal » neu11 months ago
You seen my downstairs mixup.
theguitarhero » neu11 months ago
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?
wonelove » neu11 months ago
the posterior-inferior orifice..?
bixschmix » neu11 months ago
Think about it: is it creepier to say "I'm going to come in you" or "I'm going to fill your hoo-ha with goof juice"?
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(marked lame by o2b, CatJumpJohn, StagnantDisplay, Courtland, dasilodavi, Daravon, campincarl)
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reasonableRay to me.Login to rate and reply to comments
adj.
(1.)expensive and superfluous.
(2.)capable of being turned into a raisin.
[i]A scientist offered to make me a cantaloupe raisin using a machine! Only $500! That's going to be one bomb-ass raisin, don't you think? At first I didn't think so, but now it seems perfectly raysonable.[i]
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This would be my Rayson d'etre...
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(marked lame by Norsef, illgamesh, DanS, NumberKillinger)
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(marked lame by Spoon, Marcus_Brody, sdskyle)
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Ha ha, but really? Why would you even save that? C'mon.
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Also.
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(reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
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He's in training.
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is elbox from History??
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(marked lame by Squares, MollyBloom11, dwodles, gethen, Arbys, Fcannon)
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I see that I was one of the 2 people who chubbied him, actually. I still stand by that.
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guy can't yet quite blow the top off of a bottle of brew, but the affinity for such a thing is there.
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*[A guy sort of snapping his fingers across his body]
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I recommend clicking "watch all episodes"--all good stuff.
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You'd be surprised.
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4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4 (New International Version)
(obviously there's a lot of other verses and contexts in the Bible that put forward this sorta idea)
Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood, because it's hilarious and I took verses like this and doctrines based on the general idea to be dependent on the social context (example: in Australia, you can say "ass/arse" on midday TV and nobody bats an eye, whereas in the US they even censor "balls" last time I checked - obscenity is dependent on your social context), and I also had a number of fellow born-again friends who enjoyed similar humour. So I'm not saying that everyone who's a serious Christian, or works in a church that falls within the pale of generally accepted Christian orthodoxy, will not read Achewood - but chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't.
That's all I'm sayin', bra.
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it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..but when Jesus was all about loving people, you gotta step back sometimes and figure exactly where you stand.
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You can have your cake and go to heaven too.
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"chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't."
I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm actually agreeing with you.
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I personally have Issues and Bitterness that it would be folly to go into here*, but I'm not saying anyone's Right or Wrong or Stupid, either - because hell, I may well be. I just, currently, have disagreements, which are my own and should be neither your blessing nor your curse.
*I sorta went into it anyway.
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"'coarse joking'"
I heard a top 40 radio station in the US censor "drugs" from that horrible Nickelback song "Rock Star".
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But fuck you for making me read that sentence.
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Quote:
I hate it when people mention this, because by and large, I would argue that more people were killed in the name of greed than anything else.
Sometimes religious beliefs were the reasoning, but the vast majority of wars were fought purely due to one group of people wanting the natural resources/money/slaves/whatever of another group of people. Often religious beliefs were used, by rulers or society or both, and to varying extent, as a justification for it (see: The 2003 American Invasion of Iraq), but deep down it generally comes down to economics. This could potentially even be argued for The Crusades (I'll leave the details of such an argument for or against to someone more knowledgeable on the subject than I).
That's if we're talkin' wars, of course. Massacres, witchhunts, The Game, and various other murders and the suchlike: the most common reasoning for these are up to debate, and the variables are surely numerous.
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skrad: 1
capn: less than 1.
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[/i]10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.[/i]
1 Timothy 6:10
Okay I'll stop now. I wasn't going to be such a pedant, but I'd already pressed "Post".
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(and ultimately it would be kitty nom nom ftw)
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The speaker at my sister's college was a Catholic cardinal, namely Cardinal Sin of the Philippines. He told dirty jokes during his speech. They involved husbands and wives, but the jokes were about sex. You could argue he was Eastern, but his religion was as Western as they come.
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Not good, not cool, makes me a very pissed off and hurt UU.
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ohgawdohgawd i'm gonna be sick...
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How many more of them were harvested in this manner?
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"Four more steps to go" thought daidai.
He would not survive long enough to see his plan reach fruition.
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Of all the characters in Achewood, he was the most
...human.
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A tale of the Forbiddens, known only by darkest thoughts and desires:
[url=http://http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY]
(click picture for link, if only it works)
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http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY
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at least this is my understanding. someone else got a better explanation?
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Longshanks: What news of the North?
Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word.
Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
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From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'
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... FROM HISTORY
fuck you theguitarhero
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AN EVIL DEMON SPRANG!!!
IT ATE UP ALL THE LEFTOVERS
AND WASHED THEM DOWN WITH TANG!!!
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Oh man, two in one thread.
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Moist?
Dead?
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Dead, rarely. (Assuming you mean the "My ____ died from _____, not funny, not cool," etc.)
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A man's thing when it's under a skirt is so soft, like a big flower. The trouble is you can never really hold it in your hands, if it would only stay quiet, but it starts moving around like an animal, it gets hard, it frightens me when it's hard and sticking up in the air, it's brutal; God, how rotten love is. I loved Henri because his little thing never got hard, never raised its head...
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Chubby.
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ME ME!
(say "thank you, coach")
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hold me
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na-Na-na-Na-nana-Na RA-AAPE!
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...
ohhh, I believe it's magic magic...
magic...
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{they both gaze at Kate, heads tilted in calm adoration}
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dracula strikes again
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Which completely fucks up the order of management, let me tell you.
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AND I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME
BRO
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THA BLOOD
...
OF THEEZ WHO-O-ORES
...
IS KILLING ME.
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guy just can't escape them...
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I am on to you hedonismbot.
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heh. Shenanigans.
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Did they have trains in 17th century Wales?
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Sounds like a liquor advertisement.
"Got a lil' Pogp in ya?"
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Maybe then I'll be able to type.
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You've got time.
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Da na Nu na Nu na Nuuuuu..NAH NAH NAH!
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That was my actual thought as I opened this morning's Achewood, coffee in hand, expectant and rewarded with the tingling feeling of happy anticipation. Boys take note: this is foreplay, and it is Important.
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And now I have. Thank you for your time.
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Psst, Ethel...
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Maybe this will...
Hmm...
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Hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
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MAKE IT STOP I WANT TO GET OFF
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two turntables and a couple pets
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to get the party people up off the wall.
you'll feel motivated as he operates
'cos party energy is what he generates.
he'll prescribe for you a potent elixir:
two turntables, speaker and a mixer.
he'll rock your party.
wherever you be.
callin' dr. dre to surgery.
(this was the sample provided in Encarta 98's entry on Rap.)
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CLOSER AND SEE,
DR DRE OPERATE IN SURGERY
never in my life did I expect to see the lyrics to World Class Wreckin' Cru's "Surgery" on Assetbar.
That was Dr. Dre's first group, and it was absolute dance, dance, DANCE! Cpnglxynchos, you are rad.
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(reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
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(directed at the .gif poster of monochrome irritation)
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and they're in effect
Want you to pump it, babe
Coolin' by day then
at night working up
a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go
show the guys that we
know
How to become number one
in a hot party show
NOW PUMP IT
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - pump it real good
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - p-pump it real good
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Please don't let this happen
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Now he finally knows why.
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Will there be a spin-off?
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Hedonimsbot. I've left it open for you...
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I am not sure what constituted popular art in 17th century Wales.
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OTHER EVENTS OF 1676
-Providence, Rhode Island is sacked during the course of King Phillip's War
-The Speed of Light is first quantitatively measured
-Some people of middling fame die; others, also of middling fame, are born to replace them
All in all, a lousy year.
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Sorta?
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(marked lame by labrat, sirhan_duran, professorhazard, mattfish, theguitarhero, sneakymarco, r_tenenbaum, morbo)
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Holy shit, I think that's Erica.
Erica, what in the sam hill are you doing putting photos of yourself lookin' like that on the web?!
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Come on guys I ain't have no money for Photoshop.
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(reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
Good times.
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it was almost just an adjective again.
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end joke
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Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
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yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
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Bingo!
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The boy must have much stamina.
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(I hate myself)
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...also looks like Téodor is jumbled for the long term.
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<plea for sympathy>Their Dad just got fired from ANOTHER job and he's not sending child support . . . again. But it's a point of pride with me that I can look after my family without his !@$%!#$ $478 a month . . . for THREE kids.</plea for sympathy>
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IS IT SAFE
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The man is doing the woman doggy-style. He says "caboose." The woman laughs, causing muscles to move and things to vibrate in the belly area, and in a matter of seconds things move together just right for the woman to have an orgasm.
Or maybe I'm just completely making this up. Take your pick.
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chocolate starfish
(thank you, fourth grade!)
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Whatever you do don't think about it too much. Your brain will cross association streams and a rip in the space time continuum will open up.
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You ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
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(Stolen from Patton Oswalt, but geez is it true)
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