Caboose.  07/29/2008 « prev 1st rand curr next »




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sigmalambda » neu 1 years ago
The Champagne and the Clapper are an amazing contrast.
awko » neu 1 years ago
Ray is so rich he had a Clapper specifically designed to open his champagne bottles.
scott » pro 1 years ago
... and hired a penguin to do the clapping.
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
eatmorekix » neu 1 years ago
i think it's safe to assume that once Ray realized he did not in fact have a clapper, he immediately replaced all the lighting in his house.
king_duncan » pro 1 years ago
That seems entirely reasonable Ray to me.
sncether » neu 1 years ago
NEW WORD: Raysonable

adj.
(1.)expensive and superfluous.
(2.)capable of being turned into a raisin.

[i]A scientist offered to make me a cantaloupe raisin using a machine! Only $500! That's going to be one bomb-ass raisin, don't you think? At first I didn't think so, but now it seems perfectly raysonable.[i]
professorriffs » neu 1 years ago
Rayonnaise?
hamscout » neu 1 years ago
Mustard-rayonaise?

This would be my Rayson d'etre...
thegoblins » neu 1 years ago
Why are there so many screen names alluding to fetus-based violence?
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
He is angry at the fetus piñata.
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
This is a great .gif animation! I could use this.

Ha ha, but really? Why would you even save that? C'mon.
foetus_punch » neu 1 years ago
Bashy hate foetus!

Also.
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
I think it's an natural reaction to there being over 6 billion humans on the planet. Clearly that is too many and we need to... well I'm not going to say it.
stereo » neu 1 years ago
Alls I'm saying is that forbidden fruit is delicious [see Bible, page 10] and what's more forbidden than eating fetuses?
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
Don't even think that.
pygmalion00 » neu 1 years ago
Bitch, why you steal my creation?
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
Because he is aiu.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
I fucking hate you and hope you die.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
I knew that guy was a troll. Probably aiu. Come to think of it, I'm not sure we have any other trolls.
deusoma » neu 1 years ago
Does Dr. Manflesh still count as a troll, or is he some kind of Renaissance man now?
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Personally, I ignore him, but that's just me.
rotating-dog » con 1 years ago
Haha, your photoshop skills, they are terrible. My feelings on this asset are con
foetus_punch » neu 1 years ago
Hey, what...Oh, DAMN IT, digested fetus. At least spell foetus in the manner of a class act. Puh-leaze.
quantumcasaba » neu 1 years ago
mustRayostardRayonnaise
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
That's enough of that.
hbaranov » neu 1 years ago
No Ray, man!
zwab » neu 1 years ago
You have my full support. Good luck in the future.
c_dizzle » pro 1 years ago
definite chubby for being able to weave both definitions into the demonstrative sentance.
rascaldom » neu 1 years ago
I can picture Ray now: "Operator? Yea, get me Merriam-Webster on the phone. Whoever the head honcho is now."
opprobrium » neu 1 years ago
"4:22 and drunk as a lord".
syx » neu 1 years ago
Maybe he picked up a trick or two just from being in the same room with his father.
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
Yeah, I immediately thought it was an inherited trait.
nice-on-water » neu 1 years ago
Whoops!
under » neu 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
I think you have an issue with your transparency filter or some such high-tech nonsense that I know very little about.
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
As graphically low-class as it is, it is still a biting social commentary on current events.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Agreed.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Too bad it will now be banished to the ignore dimension along with the flashing gifs he's been posting. Why waste the effort on making quality posts if you're gonna be a troll anyway?
lateadopter » neu 1 years ago
It is sad, though, to be torn between chubbying a post and ignoring the user. I already marked all the giant blinking gifs as spam, so this is the last post of under's where I can choose a path. You can't do two things on one post. I guess I'll have to ignore, just to make those things go away.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Wise move. If he's who we think he is, lames won't help. He'll just make a new account to get around them, and you will run out of lames. Then what will you do when people post Family Circus in here?
kamet » neu 1 years ago
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
nice-on-water » neu 1 years ago
w h y
expellens » pro 1 years ago
Ray doesn't have the Clapper, yes. Remember - he is the son of the Man who can open a beer bottle with a well placed, "pfoo".

He's in training.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
I think the bottle was already open and is just splashing a little in bed.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Speaking of splashing a little in bed I need to get me some of those pumps.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
That's what she said.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
I used to splash a little in bed sometimes when I was younger, and then my mom would yell at me and call me names and not let me watch Lost that day.
gormster » neu 1 years ago
Wait. Lost? How much younger can we possibly be talking? A few years?
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
which leads to the question...

is elbox from History??
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
to properly have it stuck to you, have one of these:

[IMGS OFF]
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
i'll try to refrain from this statement as much as i can (though it may be hard as we may be referencing History a lot with the company that LN's hooked up with.)
rowboat » pro 1 years ago
Still sort of ironing out ideas on what kind of poster you were going to be here, were ya? Cute.
fineoakstructure » neu 1 years ago
Do you mean because he only types certain words in all caps and not all of them?

I see that I was one of the 2 people who chubbied him, actually. I still stand by that.
theguitarhero » neu 11 months ago
Yeah, just don't go back to my first post during Handface Weekend. I, ugh, I can't excuse that shit.
rowboat » pro 11 months ago
Out of respect, I will not.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
That is the exact subtextual reading I was going for, though it took me disturbingly long to think of a reference that would immediately be recognized as recent.
ebessan » neu 1 years ago
You can see the cirk on Ray's pillow.
ebessan » neu 1 years ago
Cork, rather.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
I'm sorry, but I can't see any cock in that picture
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
If you cannot see the cock in the picture then you are the cock. The picture has Zen Magical Realism.
ashoykh » neu 1 years ago
The clapper opened the champagne bottle and the cork from the bottle turned off the light switch. Ray is a playa.
mawk » pro 10 months ago
I had assumed that being Son of Luther, the ability to open Liquors through such means runs through his veins.

guy can't yet quite blow the top off of a bottle of brew, but the affinity for such a thing is there.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Yes in-fucking-deedy!
pogo » neu 1 years ago
That's the perfect line for your new avicon.*

*[A guy sort of snapping his fingers across his body]
usversusthem » neu 1 years ago
As I recall, he's actually demonstrating the strange sexual technique that Gomorrah was named after. True story! (Google that shit.)
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Okay, I get the source now. Not funny, not cool.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
MOST unsexily.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
I recommend clicking "watch all episodes"--all good stuff.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Potentially nsfw, though. I mean, they're just cartoons...but you possibly don't want your boss to catch you watching cartoons. Cartoons that make fun of the bible and reference the masturbatory habits of a thirty-year-old man-child. Guess it depends on where you work.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
If you work at a church, then chances are you're not on Assetbar so it's okay.
thegoblins » neu 1 years ago
I wouldn't be so sure.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Yeah that's kinda stereotyping.

You'd be surprised.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
As a guy that was on the leadership at a couple of churches recently, I can say that it is pretty standard amongst Western Christian morality to avoid dirty jokes, blasphemy, and the suchlike:

4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4 (New International Version)
(obviously there's a lot of other verses and contexts in the Bible that put forward this sorta idea)

Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood, because it's hilarious and I took verses like this and doctrines based on the general idea to be dependent on the social context (example: in Australia, you can say "ass/arse" on midday TV and nobody bats an eye, whereas in the US they even censor "balls" last time I checked - obscenity is dependent on your social context), and I also had a number of fellow born-again friends who enjoyed similar humour. So I'm not saying that everyone who's a serious Christian, or works in a church that falls within the pale of generally accepted Christian orthodoxy, will not read Achewood - but chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't.

That's all I'm sayin', bra.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
Edit: "Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood during that time..."
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
i consider myself a serious Christian and am taking a break from being a leader for my church's youth group. there are times that you can take yourself (and/or your beliefs) too seriously and that's where bible-thumping and abortion clinic bombings come from.

it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..but when Jesus was all about loving people, you gotta step back sometimes and figure exactly where you stand.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Yeah I love Jesus and I love Achewood.

You can have your cake and go to heaven too.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
I will reiterate what I say:

"chances are, given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't."

I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm actually agreeing with you.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
Saul good, homestyle. just sayin' my thing. Achewood is a good comic. (and also a website!)
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
Not a problem. Didn't want it to sound like an attack on anyone's beliefs, instead making an attempted amusing comment about the standards of a particular subculture, in a deadpan fashion in context with the Assetbarian sub-subculture. Theological, ethical, or philosophical criticisms were not intended.

I personally have Issues and Bitterness that it would be folly to go into here*, but I'm not saying anyone's Right or Wrong or Stupid, either - because hell, I may well be. I just, currently, have disagreements, which are my own and should be neither your blessing nor your curse.

*I sorta went into it anyway.
morypcaina » neu 1 years ago
now I'm nitpicking

"'coarse joking'"

I heard a top 40 radio station in the US censor "drugs" from that horrible Nickelback song "Rock Star".
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
When I was a DJ, we heard about some college station being fined for saying something "sucks".
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
Ha ha! What?
stereo » neu 1 years ago
I've heard God censored on radio, as in Harvey Danger "They cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee **** damn you"
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
A lot of people censor 'god damn'. It's oft believed to fall under the realm of "Lord's name in vain". You can usually hear 'god' and 'damn', just not together
tekende » neu 11 months ago
Yeah, but it's funny that they choose to censor "god" and not "damn" which is a borderline cuss word. Kind of like on network TV, if someone says "asshole" they bleep out "hole" instead of "ass". That always amused me.
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
Having to choose between Jesus and Achewood should never be an either/or.
rowboat » pro 1 years ago
It doesn't bother me that you feel that way.

But fuck you for making me read that sentence.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
And now, I'm going to nitpick, because it's fun to. And I have a number of chips on my manly, lumberjackian shoulders:

Quote:
it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..


I hate it when people mention this, because by and large, I would argue that more people were killed in the name of greed than anything else.

Sometimes religious beliefs were the reasoning, but the vast majority of wars were fought purely due to one group of people wanting the natural resources/money/slaves/whatever of another group of people. Often religious beliefs were used, by rulers or society or both, and to varying extent, as a justification for it (see: The 2003 American Invasion of Iraq), but deep down it generally comes down to economics. This could potentially even be argued for The Crusades (I'll leave the details of such an argument for or against to someone more knowledgeable on the subject than I).

That's if we're talkin' wars, of course. Massacres, witchhunts, The Game, and various other murders and the suchlike: the most common reasoning for these are up to debate, and the variables are surely numerous.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
as money is the root of all evil, i accede to your reasoning.

skrad: 1
capn: less than 1.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
Quote:
as money is the root of all evil...


[/i]10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.[/i]
1 Timothy 6:10

Okay I'll stop now. I wasn't going to be such a pedant, but I'd already pressed "Post".
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
BOOBS
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
LOVE THEM etc
techiebabe » neu 1 years ago
I find it very amusing to watch two people being very careful to make sure neither offends the other.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Offensiveness is very underrated.
rowboat » pro 1 years ago
I fucked your mother just before she died. The last thing she saw was my sweaty sex face. She loved that terrible face more than she loved your existence.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
it would've completely turned Assetbar into a civil war...though i would have like nobody on my side.

(and ultimately it would be kitty nom nom ftw)
pogo » neu 1 years ago
I agree, the tired old cliche about people being killed in the name of religion needs to be debunked. Wars are about power and resources, and in Europe at least, both sides were saying "God bless us."
thegoblins » neu 1 years ago
Y'all are so sensible!
goro » neu 1 years ago
Religion is messed up.
lateadopter » neu 1 years ago
Quote:
it is pretty standard amongst Western Christian morality to avoid dirty jokes


The speaker at my sister's college was a Catholic cardinal, namely Cardinal Sin of the Philippines. He told dirty jokes during his speech. They involved husbands and wives, but the jokes were about sex. You could argue he was Eastern, but his religion was as Western as they come.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Wait, did you say his name was Cardinal Sin?
irondave » neu 1 years ago
He did and it was.
akarroa » neu 1 years ago
Presbyterians seem to be the most liberal. We recently started allowing gay pastors and participating in the Day of Silence.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
You got nothing on unitarians or Quakers.
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
By the way, it was my UU church that got shot up last week.

Not good, not cool, makes me a very pissed off and hurt UU.
loneal » neu 1 years ago
Hey, I used to be one of them Presbyterians! Figures they'd let the gays in as soon as I left the church.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
That's awesome, no doubt, but I repeat: it's not standard. Oh, I know full well that it happens, but not hugely often it's gotta be said.
jshelton » neu 1 years ago
I not only work at a church, I want to get my MDiv. And Achewood is just about my favorite thing ever!
jshelton » neu 1 years ago
Except for Jesus. He pretty much tops the list.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
I've always thought the qualification "Master of Divinity" to be far too easily misconstrued as claiming something else entirely.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Being really good at making delicious, nougaty, vanilla-flavored confections?
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
For those who don't know
kamet » neu 1 years ago
Sweet, sweet, sinful divinity.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Bible History wouldn't load, sorry.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Are you from...Bible History?

ohgawdohgawd i'm gonna be sick...
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Dude, about a billion posts above, ethelthefrog wrote: For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Just keep trying until it works. Seriously pogo man. You neeeeeeed to see it.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Okay, I saw it, and it totally sucks ass.
howl » neu 1 years ago
I can't see it either, but it's because of the goddamn parental controls
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Aw, diddums.
howl » neu 1 years ago
Indeed.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Sorry, way too inaccurate and exaggerated for me. Like little kids just using the Bible as an excuse to be "dirty."
cleanfatback » neu 1 years ago
[a guy demonstrating "Gemorrah - an even weirder move"]
cleanfatback » neu 1 years ago
i am a bad person because i didnt even LOOK below
usversusthem » neu 1 years ago
That's okay man you have Madvillainy as your avicon... all is forgiven.
magnetocat » neu 1 years ago
Ray applies the Fonzie technique to champagne bottles.
maximus » neu 1 years ago
Clap on, Clap off!
purplehaze » neu 1 years ago
Beef and Molly could write novels based on what they do in bed
awko » neu 1 years ago
Paging Dr Manflesh. Dr Manflesh to the fan-fic ward immediately.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
Get me three crudely drawn representations of Wolverine doing Batman, stat.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
I started to look, then I decided to not.
flynn » pro 1 years ago
Chubby for personal restraint
dangelder » neu 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Where was her neck back then?
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Man, if she'd known a picture was being taken when she was lying down she would have pulled those covers right up over her head.
odei » neu 1 years ago
Chubby for the idea that Achewood is either drawn from photographic references or that it is in fact made from photos.
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
You mean it's... not?
retinarow » neu 1 years ago
What do you think is in the subscriber zone?
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
it was suggested that a nonstop orgy of blood and guts was on the menu.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Although it has been revealed that the actual function of the "blunderbuss" was to coat LN in an exact replica of the Welsh brothers' clothing.

How many more of them were harvested in this manner?
daidai » neu 1 years ago
three
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Thanks!
daidai » neu 1 years ago
...and with the newfound trust of i_love_kate, step 3 of Operation:Kill i_love_kate began.

"Four more steps to go" thought daidai.

He would not survive long enough to see his plan reach fruition.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
daidai never made it back home...
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
"Thanks... for everything," murmured I_Love_Kate, snapping his cellphone shut with a decisive sound, a half jovial, half self-assured smile playing across his features.
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
Wait, wait wait. What's happening
maximus » neu 1 years ago
Teo, Teo, Teo

[IMGS OFF]
Of all the characters in Achewood, he was the most


...human.
troy_convers » pro 1 years ago
Queue Lyle on the bagpipes.
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
If nobody has seen it yet, you should all see it.

A tale of the Forbiddens, known only by darkest thoughts and desires:


[url=http://http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY][IMGS OFF][/url]

(click picture for link, if only it works)
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
rowboat » pro 1 years ago
That's too much to expect from Assetbar. You know this.
methadone » neu 1 years ago
T is so aware of his epic failure that he can't sleep until penance has been paid
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
It seems to be working. His eyes are at least 30% smaller than in the reception scene, and his eyebrows have moved an inch or so downward. The lad will be alright.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
His penance is to listen to their bizarre (totally hot) mating rituals for the next several hours
rascaldom » neu 1 years ago
You can just hear his inner jealousy and lust and bitterness. Why do you torture yourself T?
metatronatra » neu 1 years ago
Something about a girl who shops at PayLess is just so goddamned dirty and it TURNS A DOGG ON
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
ahem...I, uh...I...shop at Payless.


sncether » neu 1 years ago
BoGo a-go-go
snidedk » neu 1 years ago
How you doin'?
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
So, uh, want to get a drink? What are your feelings on manacles?
professorhazard » pro 1 years ago
What news from the north?
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
44 minutes. Nice catch. I was hoping to see some sort of goofy RPG/news from the north crossover here, but I applaud your speed prof
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
I will continue chubbying "what news from the north" posts even if I am the only one left. It's just you and me, prof, up against the world!
tekende » pro 1 years ago
As will I, as long as I have a chubby to spare when they appear. And I did this time.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
I don't get it. Did I miss something? Will someone explain it?
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
it's supposed to be like from some Roman gig, someone named Manacles riding back from war and folk yelling 'what news of the [wherever]'.

at least this is my understanding. someone else got a better explanation?
laserblade » neu 1 years ago
Specifically, it comes from a discussion of how the plural of "clitoris" is "clitorides," which sounds like the name of a dogg who might have some news from the north. A better man than I can find the exact asset and link you to it.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
It's here, just search for "clitorides" and you'll see the genesis of this lovely meme, with me unwittingly planting the seed and the professor eagerly impregnating himself with it.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
It's from Braveheart:
Longshanks: What news of the North?
Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word.
Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
That's a good one, but I'm pretty sure it was this:

From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'
invidious » neu 1 years ago
Clitorides? I love that guy!
speccer » neu 1 years ago
Not as much as I love Gumbercules.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Gumby is a bitch. Pumjesticles is my personal hero
clits » pro 1 years ago
LOVE HIM
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
The truth, fellows, is that the phrase is...

... FROM HISTORY

fuck you theguitarhero
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
:(
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
Whew! Somebody's bakin' brownies!
gyrate » neu 1 years ago
FROM OUT THE COLD AND BLOODY NORTH

AN EVIL DEMON SPRANG!!!

IT ATE UP ALL THE LEFTOVERS

AND WASHED THEM DOWN WITH TANG!!!
pogo » neu 1 years ago
And the source?
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Come on Pogo, you don't know where Boromir is from? Considering Lord of the Rings was published during your childhood, your age is no excuse for not knowing this particular reference.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Cast of thousands, and all I remember are Frodo and Gandalf.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
AND MY AXE.

Oh man, two in one thread.
tekende » neu 1 years ago
On the other hand, I refuse to chubby AND MY AXE posts.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Clits?

Moist?


Dead?
tekende » neu 1 years ago
Clits sometimes. Moist usually goes along with those, so sometimes.

Dead, rarely. (Assuming you mean the "My ____ died from _____, not funny, not cool," etc.)
invidious » neu 1 years ago
My clits died from lack of moisture, not funny, not cool, not a good thread.
kamet » neu 1 years ago
I chubby clits, just not moist ones. Ya hafta have standards.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
So you're saying like dry clits? That's like having a thing for flaccid penises.

A man's thing when it's under a skirt is so soft, like a big flower. The trouble is you can never really hold it in your hands, if it would only stay quiet, but it starts moving around like an animal, it gets hard, it frightens me when it's hard and sticking up in the air, it's brutal; God, how rotten love is. I loved Henri because his little thing never got hard, never raised its head...
kamet » neu 1 years ago
Eh, I was going for something infinitely creepy.. and it just didn't pan out for me.
gyrate » neu 1 years ago
So...we can't give Henri a chubby?
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Good band name, Dry Clits.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
But a horrible addition to trail mix.
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Virtual
Chubby.
maximus » neu 1 years ago
You know, using a meme is another way of saying
ME ME!
(say "thank you, coach")
sdskyle » neu 1 years ago
omg where did u get this?
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
What is wrong with you?
cleanfatback » neu 1 years ago
That is absolutely from that one book i had read. The whole thing was about a dude who couldnt get it up
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
He didn't even set you up! He set you up through synonyms, which doesn't count.
professorriffs » neu 1 years ago
Baby I got some Red Wings made for doing certain things in a certain room of the house.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
:O
irondave » neu 1 years ago
Man, that is like the complete opposite of shopping at Payless.
davey-boy » neu 1 years ago
Going barefoot, I suppose.
gyrate » neu 1 years ago
Li'l Nephew looks snappy in a tie, although the rest of the outfit makes it look like they're all helpstaff at Home Depot.
riazm » neu 1 years ago
I wonder if this change will result in a change to the blogs.
pyromancer » pro 1 years ago
Also he's looking pretty fresh for someone so recently pierced by a slug.
lexsenthur » neu 1 years ago
Gotta be dead to ride on a ghost car.
kickstart » pro 1 years ago
There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know.
hold me
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
I'll hold you kickstart. I can protect you from the horrible ghost trains. Just put these pumps on first...
daidai » neu 1 years ago
I won't be able to properly convey the sitcom music-cue that came into my mind when I read that comment, but I'll try.


na-Na-na-Na-nana-Na RA-AAPE!
lexsenthur » neu 1 years ago
Adam West's "Rape-Man"?
techiebabe » neu 1 years ago
Oh good, I was afraid those were for me. whew
kickstart » neu 1 years ago
but those make me look cheap, mister robot Dracula!
krispykorn » neu 1 years ago
MISTER ROBOT DRACULA DON'T GOT MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK MWWWWWA-HA-HA
phy » neu 1 years ago
When I was a child, my parents would point out ghost cars on the road. And until they explained what that meant, I was always confused, because they weren't floating or translucent or anything.
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
The only ghost cars I know of are the ones that forever evade Police Chief Wiggum, and maybe that taxi cab the rotting-corpse-guy drives in Ghostbusters.

...

ohhh, I believe it's magic magic...

magic...
octafish » neu 1 years ago
Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up!
professorhazard » pro 1 years ago
How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
Yes, have some.

[IMGS OFF]
aperson » neu 1 years ago
...not cool? not a good strip?
irondave » neu 1 years ago
Kate is looking very fetching in this new iconotar.
aperson » neu 1 years ago
She is isnt she.

{they both gaze at Kate, heads tilted in calm adoration}
squares » neu 1 years ago
i_love_kate
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Fuck you, that's my gimmick.
retinarow » neu 1 years ago
Molly's family is so old that the family car is a steam train.
retinarow » neu 1 years ago
(The word "school" can be inserted after "old" as seen necessary.)
heccibiggs » neu 1 years ago
The space of time between your comments makes me think that you spent seven hours fretting about whether or not to add that little extra part.
retinarow » neu 1 years ago
I was worried.
pwb » pro 1 years ago
the cheap purple pumps

dracula strikes again
postblank » neu 1 years ago
Dracula must be in between jobs, because he never seems to have a lot of money.
endoftheworld » neu 1 years ago
Would you hire Dracula? I wouldn't.
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
Well he certainly can't work during the day.
tetsujin » neu 1 years ago
That's alright - it's hard to find people for the night shift...
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
No, it's hard to find people who'll work the nightshift without sneaking up behind their female virgin coworkers and draining their convulsing bodies of blood, turning their coworker into one of their immortal servants of the night.

Which completely fucks up the order of management, let me tell you.
sncether » neu 1 years ago
I AM THE DEATH SOUND

AND I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME

BRO
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
People are looking at me... looking at me because I am laughing at the Internet.
squares » neu 1 years ago
He just really needs to be the Night Manager then.
tekende » pro 1 years ago
Is it wrong that this kinda turned me on? Or do you agree that it is okay?
daidai » neu 1 years ago
for a split second I thought you were referring to sncether's post. For that split second I judged you harshly.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago

THA BLOOD
...
OF THEEZ WHO-O-ORES
...
IS KILLING ME.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
Poor Teodor...twice now have we seen him hearing of the pumps.

guy just can't escape them...
fineoakstructure » neu 1 years ago
Oh, he knows by now what goes on by that window. Teodor is a man (bear), a lonely man (bear): he has his weak, desparate moments.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
I'm warning you people. First person to say some shit like "Teodor is a lonely man (bear (pig)) or shit like that gets pistol whipped
squares » neu 1 years ago
what kind of pistol? i only ask 'cause i have a friend..that uh...likes that sort of thing. if it's the right pistol.
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
/pistol whips the shit out of hedonismbot
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
What you did there was you thought of a bad joke and wanted to post it, but were afraid of getting lamed, so you wrapped up said bad joke in a warning which served to distance yourself from it, thereby having your cake and eating it also (what a long sentence).
I am on to you hedonismbot.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
I see that the good Professor has already made this point more succinctly.
speccer » neu 1 years ago
Hey Farva, what's Al Gore after in that stupid South Park episode?
kickstart » pro 1 years ago
double reference c-c-c-combo!!

heh. Shenanigans.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
That episode pretty much epitomized everything I hate about South Park.
speccer » neu 1 years ago
For me, South Park manages to do that in every episode.
arbie » neu 1 years ago
Don't need a broom to guilt skriff the overhearings of open window foreplay.
lonestar52 » neu 1 years ago
This is an ominous tunr of events for little nephew.

Did they have trains in 17th century Wales?
lonestar52 » neu 1 years ago
Turn, even.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
yes, but in a way that is hard to care about.
retinarow » neu 1 years ago
Dude they don't even have trains in Wales now. All they have is disdain and sheep.
laserblade » neu 1 years ago
And consonants.
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Mr. Putin looks sooo tired of those Welsh consonants. He is not a man you want to bore.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
But is he a man you want to bone?
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
I just wanted to say, despite our previous differences in Internet related humour. Brad Neely is my hero and your avitars have brought me great joy. Now go get me my birthday cake.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Thanks. I just hope that person with the Babycakes avicon posts more often so we can have hilarious in-character interactions.
speccer » neu 1 years ago
I'm tellin' you right now, I am gonna fuck this up.
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
Oh please. If anybody's fucking shit up, it's me.
laserblade » neu 1 years ago
Please. I have a blackbelt in judo and access to 30,000 nuclear missiles. I'm the true upfucker of shit.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo.
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
"Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo."
Sounds like a liquor advertisement.
"Got a lil' Pogp in ya?"
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
pogo."Got a lil' Pogo in ya?"
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
I need to start smoking again.
Maybe then I'll be able to type.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
If you are fourteen, you can have a little Pogo in you whenever you want. Or when you don't want.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Coming up next in Achewood: The Little Nephew Retrieval Arc.
falseprophet » neu 1 years ago
Man the Little Nephew Retrieval Arc is so awesome but why did they just interrupt it for the Captain Amagai Shuusuke Filler Arc man that is lame!
endoftheworld » neu 1 years ago
Little Nephew, you must master the Konami Code before the Saiyans arrive!!1!
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
But it's ok, you've got time, because three/fifths of the episodes will just be their spaceship flying to Earth and another fifth will be them charging up to attack.

You've got time.
echidnaboy » neu 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
:O
plummet » pro 1 years ago
i experienced a chubgasm
heccibiggs » neu 1 years ago
I think that's called ejaculation?
hbaranov » neu 1 years ago
I dunno, but I regret only having one chubbie to give
lexsenthur » neu 1 years ago
DUN na dun dun Da Dun nu nuuuu

Da na Nu na Nu na Nuuuuu..NAH NAH NAH!
contrasoma » neu 1 years ago
Glad to see I'm not the only Hokuto no Ken nerd on here.
akarroa » neu 1 years ago
I am honestly terrified of almost all anime and manga. THEY WILL KILL ME IF I OFFEND THEM...
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Oh boy! Oh boy! A new adventure!


That was my actual thought as I opened this morning's Achewood, coffee in hand, expectant and rewarded with the tingling feeling of happy anticipation. Boys take note: this is foreplay, and it is Important.
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
Oh Ethel, I must tell you how much I love you avicon.

And now I have. Thank you for your time.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Foreplay is the thing you people like before cuddling, right? Or is it the part after apologizing for not pulling out fast enough? I always forget where the foreplay goes.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Up your robot ass, that's where it goes.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
I'm getting into 24-hour advance foreplay, if possible, so my beloved can wake up and say, "Tonight, we f*ck!"
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
Is that like Fuckin'
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
or f-f-f-fuckin'?
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Yes, only more polite.
professorhazard » con 1 years ago
I am completely baffled by the idea that one can make it completely clear what the word one is saying is supposed to be - to the point that the only thing that can appear in the reader's mind is the word in question, as sure as (IF NOT MORE THAN) he had simply read the word himself - and it is considered censorship.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
A bikini top is like the asterisk is f*uck.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Shit, I meant f*ck.
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
phuk?
hbaranov » neu 1 years ago
fcuk
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
Psst....

Psst, Ethel...


[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
AW, awwwwwwww.....

Maybe this will...

[IMGS OFF]

Hmm...
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
!
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Oh, hee hee hee!
Hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
echidnaboy » pro 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
MAKE IT STOP I WANT TO GET OFF
kickstart » pro 1 years ago
I got two turntables and a couple pets
two turntables and a couple pets
octafish » neu 1 years ago
You are where it's at!
fineoakstructure » neu 1 years ago
That's beautiful, Dad.
professorhazard » pro 1 years ago
Dachshunds and cats, and just clap your hands, and just clap your hands.
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
seven days a week, he's on call
to get the party people up off the wall.
you'll feel motivated as he operates
'cos party energy is what he generates.
he'll prescribe for you a potent elixir:
two turntables, speaker and a mixer.
he'll rock your party.
wherever you be.
callin' dr. dre to surgery.


(this was the sample provided in Encarta 98's entry on Rap.)
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
COME HERE FREAK,
CLOSER AND SEE,
DR DRE OPERATE IN SURGERY

never in my life did I expect to see the lyrics to World Class Wreckin' Cru's "Surgery" on Assetbar.

That was Dr. Dre's first group, and it was absolute dance, dance, DANCE! Cpnglxynchos, you are rad.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Too bad I don't have spam marking privileges?
squares » neu 1 years ago
yeah what the fuck is up with that shit?
mortshire » pro 1 years ago
I do, man, and I got your back. I'm goin' on a spam hunt!
hbaranov » neu 1 years ago
You sir are a cunt.

(directed at the .gif poster of monochrome irritation)
lateadopter » neu 1 years ago
I disagree. Cunts are nice ("moist, love 'em," right?). This guy is rude. Not like rude titties, just rude.
thepunchman » neu 1 years ago
This is obvious because lil' nephew had no Magreaux dog.
keir » pro 1 years ago
Reebok Pumps aren't cheap, they're exceedingly expensive - and I've never seen purple ones.
usversusthem » neu 1 years ago
I really don't have a clue whether or not you're being facetious. Therefore I'm not going to either chubby or lame you. I just wanted to explain myself so you understand the lack of ratings on your comment. I should not be posting on Assetbar on so little sleep. That is all.
keir » pro 1 years ago
Beef and Molly's here,
and they're in effect
Want you to pump it, babe
Coolin' by day then
at night working up
a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go
show the guys that we
know
How to become number one
in a hot party show
NOW PUMP IT

Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - pump it real good
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - p-pump it real good
quantumcasaba » neu 1 years ago
Great, now all we need is LN's life story set to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Please don't let this happen
slanger » neu 1 years ago
Pumps are high heels. You mostly heard them called that in the 80s.
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Ray applauds the climax of the day.
zedpower » neu 1 years ago
Little Nephew has worn this expression for his entire life.

Now he finally knows why.
squares » neu 1 years ago
Life is hilarious!
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
Ray, are you pulling a Sam Malone? Is it all over?

Will there be a spin-off?
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Oh... first four panels... that's the Achewood I love.
squares » neu 1 years ago
You must be a fan of Cartlidge Head...
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
*HUGE fan
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Cartlidge Head is my favourite arc. GOF is amazing, but Cartlidge Head is right up my alley.

Hedonimsbot. I've left it open for you...
quaga » neu 1 years ago
How will little nephew ever manage to take pictures of his junk in the hot tub now?
sncether » neu 1 years ago
Not even a daguerrotype to be found in 16th century Wales (so pictures of his stern, unsmiling junk in a high collar are right out). Maybe we'll get some Little Nephew's Junk triptychs?

I am not sure what constituted popular art in 17th century Wales.
sncether » neu 1 years ago
i have a hell of a time with the fucking century molly is from.
laserblade » neu 1 years ago
17th, maybe 18th, I think, because she died on a ship bound for America.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
Maybe they were on their way to good Prince Madoc's colony?

sncether » neu 1 years ago
It was established in a zine and, later, a comic that the good ship Gwynqeathe sank in 1676, taking with it Molly Sanders and the other members of the Sanders clan. So it's not that I'm flubbing my own speculative dates, I'm just fucking up.

OTHER EVENTS OF 1676
-Providence, Rhode Island is sacked during the course of King Phillip's War
-The Speed of Light is first quantitatively measured
-Some people of middling fame die; others, also of middling fame, are born to replace them

All in all, a lousy year.
thegoblins » neu 1 years ago
B..b...but they measured the speed of light!
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
To be fair it was two guys in a warehouse with a lantern, and the verdict was "jolly fast indeed"
loeras » neu 1 years ago
did that... did that train materialize out of nowhere?
alephnought » neu 1 years ago
I believe it's of the same family of cabooses as Lonis Edison's bed-and-breakfast endeavor. Possibly.

Sorta?
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINS?!

[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
I could go the rest of my life without another weeaboo joke.
tekende » neu 1 years ago
Hey guys. theguitarhero just said "weeaboo."
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Oh fuck.
pogo » con 1 years ago
I didn't really care what this strange word meant, but went to look anyway, and now I really don't want to know why the cartoon people get spanked for saying this. The guy stopped doing the strip, apparently.
daidai » neu 1 years ago
...the hell is this tricky commotion...?
davey-boy » neu 1 years ago
The joke as I understand it is that 'Weeaboo' is first presented as a failing project that people management has put too many resources and man hours on, then it turns out that it is some office douche's idea of a fraternal prank, suggesting that they spend too much time on this dickery, getting no work done.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Right, but there's a second meaning to the term, which is a white or otherwise non-Asian person who is way too into Japanese culture, kind of like a counterpart to "wigger". I think this is completely unrelated to the comic, and I don't know which came first, but a lot of times people fuse the two meanings by quoting the line after someone references a particularly obscure anime or something of the sort, thus suggesting that the offending weaboo requires spanking.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Visual aid:

[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
speccer » neu 1 years ago
Her right pupil appears to be beginning mitosis.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
I can't think of a more graceful way of putting this: that is just fucking dreadful, that is dog shit. I don't like to swear on the internet, but this person has driven me to it. What a highly inadvisable piece of body art.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
man, that's actually INCREDIBLY hard to do. I tried last Halloween, I was going as Pikachu, but it was just impossible as all hell.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Am I allowed to be totally turned on right now?
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Well Autre, I bet it's easier if you let someone else draw it on you. Here, come over here and close your eyes and I'll do a nice Pokechu for you
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
i will admit it took me less than a second to decide i would completely have have physical relations with this girl.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
You would not only have them, but have have them.
lateadopter » neu 1 years ago
reduplication = intensification
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
immediately posthaste!
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Really? I'm with hedonismbot here... That is all sorts of unnattractive.
kickstart » neu 1 years ago
there's gonna be a ridiculous amount of five-head when that makeup (sharpie?) comes off.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Yea I think she actually looks better this way than she would normally.
gowerski » neu 1 years ago
obligatory nasty/dogshit
irondave » neu 1 years ago
Shit ain't right.
syrupykeyboard » neu 1 years ago
Eri....Erica? Is that--is that you?
Holy shit, I think that's Erica.
Erica, what in the sam hill are you doing putting photos of yourself lookin' like that on the web?!
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Way cool, way hot.
stereo » neu 1 years ago
I can't be certain, but I think the white-person-into-Japanese-culture version of the definition came from 4chan and came after the comic. Stuff goes in the 4chan word filter and it ends up being a meme quite often out of nowhere.
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
Yeah it kinda morphed from referencing Gurwich's "Weeaboo" strip in PBF to meaning "person who is nerdily into things japanese". It also can mean "kinda gay". As usual, 4chan was involved.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Someone whip me up a picture of Shatner screaming from Wrath of Khan, with the subtitle "4chan".

Come on guys I ain't have no money for Photoshop.
westsider8 » neu 1 years ago
Don't need no photoshop boy:

[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
You know I got no sense of image insertion!
spectre » pro 1 years ago
Not completely. The most recent cartoon -- Laugh Line or some such -- was posted last week. I only got into PBF because when I went to Amazon to pre-order the GOF book, Amazone tried to upsell me a combo with GOF and THE TRIAL OF COLONEL SWEETO from PBF. I think PBF is the funniest thing going on the web these days. (Achewood is the BEST cartoon on the web, but sometimes is more thought-provoking or dramatic than funny.)
usversusthem » neu 1 years ago
Hey guys. There is a new PBF comic up. For serious. It turns out that Gurewitch wasn't lying when he said "partial retirement." Also it's pretty good.
invidious » neu 1 years ago
Bout fuckin' time. As soon as he put out the Colonel Sweeto book he started working less than the DMV.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
But what about this?: As of Feburary 2008, Nicholas has taken a break from it to pursue other things. There is no official update schedule currently.
usversusthem » neu 1 years ago
Basically it just means he'll put up a new comic when he damn well pleases, instead of once a week or so. That one is the first new one in like two months or something.
falseprophet » neu 1 years ago
I would actually like to see Teodor use a time-travelin' train to go back in time and find his Penny and use his knowledge of the future to deceive her into bedding him. Then he can return to the present and sad some poetry about he is a tool for abusing physics and the heart of a woman to get what he wants out of life.

Good times.
stereo » neu 1 years ago
If she calls him a fuzzy-wuzzy teddy-bear and hugs him it will all be worth it
sirhan_duran » neu 1 years ago
my chubby clip is empty
morypcaina » neu 1 years ago
thank you for reverbing "sad"

it was almost just an adjective again.
joeynarcotic » pro 1 years ago
Hopefully Charley stays gone at least as long as Todd did last time he died. It's nice when folks stay dead a while, it gives you a chance to miss them.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
I repeated that to my best friend, but he did not see the funny side and stormed out of his own mothers funeral.
lexsenthur » neu 1 years ago
Man, turn out your own funeral.
morypcaina » neu 1 years ago
it must have been in soviet russia if the mother turned out the son instead of being turned out (viz. Ray's Flowchart)

end joke
blastradius » pro 1 years ago
That should be the case. It should take Ray quite awhile before he even remembers that he sent Little Nephew off too Wales, and a might longer to figure out that Wales is Heaven/Hell.
smallblackdog » neu 1 years ago
No - you realise what Wales is like in an instinctive momentary flash. Like sitting in the back of the bus and realising you have a terminal illness.
octafish » neu 1 years ago
Hey I'm walkin' here!

Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind

People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes

I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
retro » neu 1 years ago
Did you just Midnight Cowboy me?
davey-boy » neu 1 years ago
Drivin' around in Jon Voight's car
aaa » neu 1 years ago
This caboose had fidelity. Rivets even.
skoora » neu 1 years ago
You know, if you aren't able to see Taffy's hands, he looks like a pervert.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
Excellent. That has completely changed my view of Taffy. No wonder he has such useful hand and wrist dexterity for the lightning box.
professorhazard » neu 1 years ago
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
*Honk honk*

Bingo!
wfl » neu 1 years ago
Now we know what the "milk fog" REALLY is.

The boy must have much stamina.
daidai » neu 1 years ago
oh ew
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
I'm betting few people will know this one, but has anyone seen Carnivale? The HBO show thing? There's a scene very much like this, except instead of going to Wales to play video games for eternity, a young woman is going to spend eternity is south Texas getting gangraped by miners. This comic made me think about that more than I normally do.
sncether » neu 1 years ago
I have seen that episode, and I remember thinking, "Poor Lila. I bet she wishes she had a DS right about now."
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
A DS would not save her from the rape train. The rape train hasn't breaks
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
No, but she could play Picross while the rapage occured. It would help to keep her mind off of it.
thegoodwillgirl » neu 1 years ago
It would have to be a gentle rape, or else she would keep tapping the wrong tiny, tiny squares. That would probably get aggravating. I mean, more than the rape even.
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Man, you people and your silly games. I've never been less interested in forcing my pleasantness into a woman before.
daidai » neu 1 years ago
Has it brakes?


(I hate myself)
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Is it can have brakes?
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
IT HAVEN'T BRAKES!!!! WHOOO-WHOOOO!! CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA BITCHES!!! WHOOO-WHOOO!!
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
WHOO-WHOO MUTHAFUCKA! THIS BITCH BE JUMPIN' THA RAILZ!
speccer » neu 1 years ago
Aww hellzicious yes!
kamet » neu 1 years ago
Eh, she was trampy anyway.
nokidding » neu 1 years ago
i really enjoy that show. why do all my favorites have to get canceled?
invidious » pro 1 years ago
You know what, you're right. He kinda looks like that Texas A&M bell-ringer kid.
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
Oh, Aggies...
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
I had to give you that chub, Bix. I just had to. It came from the depths of my little orange heart.
squares » neu 1 years ago
burnt orange heart?
squares » neu 1 years ago
That was Texas Tech, holmes.
shirono » neu 1 years ago
This is like poetry, man.

...also looks like Téodor is jumbled for the long term.
akadriver » pro 1 years ago
Everything is alright in Ray's world. You've got to admire that.
spectre » pro 1 years ago
Wait a minute, what happened to the camper and the 48-state minigolf tour?
falseprophet » pro 1 years ago
The game was called on account of f-f-f-f-fuckin'
agentstinky » pro 1 years ago
It was covered in the subscriber area; not sure if he'll make any comics about it. Apparently what's being shown in the comic isn't always the same as what's going on in the characters' "real" lives.
gbap » neu 1 years ago
Wait... what?
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Kudos for your Woodring avicon. Nice.
spectre » pro 1 years ago
#$%!#$% Now I gotta subscribe; well the stepkids can just eat Jello and Ramen and that's all there is to it.

<plea for sympathy>Their Dad just got fired from ANOTHER job and he's not sending child support . . . again. But it's a point of pride with me that I can look after my family without his !@$%!#$ $478 a month . . . for THREE kids.</plea for sympathy>
stereo » neu 1 years ago
You mean Nice Pete has been killing people and we don't even know about it?
cpnglxynchos » neu 1 years ago
[IMGS OFF]
possums » neu 1 years ago
Oh oh poor lil' Charley's face :(
henrietta » pro 1 years ago
Finally! Less wedding and more ghost train!
phy » neu 1 years ago
Ghost caboose. The train is as solid and grounded in conventional reality as anything. When the caboose vanishes again, the train will overspeed and jump the rails, killing half a hundred commuters and setting back the cause of cheap, ubiquitous rail transport in North America by twenty years. Screw the Welsh Ghost Caboose.
phy » neu 1 years ago
Incidentally caboose is one of the most fun words to say when you are really drunk. Scientists and doctors agree. Try it some time. "Cabooooooooose."
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Try saying it in bed. [That is, with another human being, preferably of the female persuation, if you happen to be male.]
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Uh oh, pogo, loneal's gonna getcha for that one.
loneal » neu 1 years ago
Well, come on, are you telling me that "caboose" is more appropriate for straight sex than for two dudes doing it?
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
This is true. I was actually gonna post "I'll screw your Welsh Ghost Caboose!" in response to phy, but then I seriously considered the direction in which my life was heading and decided against it.
phy » neu 1 years ago
The direction in which your life was heading was, to make it explicit, the caboose.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
I shan't ever recommend man-on-man action.
davey-boy » neu 1 years ago
Bad expierience? 'Cause I here it is pretty radical.
hatstand_mcq » neu 1 years ago
I have heard that after you have had male homosexual sex three times you get a complimentary sample selection of soaps and shampoos and the recipe for some really kick-arse chocolate brownies.
kamet » neu 1 years ago
I hear that after you have homosexual sex three times, Michael Keaton shows up in a bad costume.
davey-boy » neu 1 years ago
I heard after your first time, you get a lifetime subscription to the magasine of your choice.
loneal » neu 1 years ago
I think your new nickname should be No Homo Pogo.
contrasoma » neu 1 years ago
Ah, "no homo". The Dipset doth protest too much, methinks.
fineoakstructure » neu 1 years ago
At least make it "No Homos Pogo," so he's allowed to at least have one.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Sounds like Latin. I like it.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
Is it a sure-fire laugh, or what? I MUST KNOW POGO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SAY CABOOSE IN BED

IS IT SAFE
tekende » neu 1 years ago
Here's what happens.

The man is doing the woman doggy-style. He says "caboose." The woman laughs, causing muscles to move and things to vibrate in the belly area, and in a matter of seconds things move together just right for the woman to have an orgasm.

Or maybe I'm just completely making this up. Take your pick.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Tekende is close, but I would think that the booty-hole was the caboose, wouldn't you?
hedonismbot » neu 1 years ago
Hee Hee! Booty-hole. That is a hilarious word. Booty-hole. "I'm hooking this big black engine to your caboose baby!" "What? You mean my, my, um, booty-hole?"
loneal » neu 1 years ago
Somehow that is one of the least appealing euphemisms I have ever heard. How did you get that innocuous little phrase to sound more vulgar than even "anus"?
aperson » neu 1 years ago
The Butt Opening
ethelthefrog » neu 1 years ago
Balloon Knot
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
lest we forget:
chocolate starfish

(thank you, fourth grade!)
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
God damn, I think I was in high school when that came out. Thanks for making me feel old.
tragicone » neu 1 years ago
yeah, i mean, i'm the same age as him but i remember atleast 6th grade.
kamet » neu 1 years ago
See, I was thinking "Thank you Primus"
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
Oh man. There was a very middle of the road rock band in Oz that did a cover of "You're so vein" called Chocolate Starfish. I... I still don't understand.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
I thought autrepoupee was referencing Limp Bizkit, but maybe that's just because I am of low mind.
autrepoupee » neu 1 years ago
Haha oh my good achilleselbow i've never even heeaaard of this Limped Biscuit of which you speak! Gracious me, who would reference such a thing? Tarry tarry, what a mazzew.
chuvak » neu 1 years ago
Cornhole.
loneal » neu 1 years ago
All of these are somehow less disturbing than "booty hole." Oh my God, I am cringing just typing it.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Squeezebucket.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
My word made Loneal cringe! Oh frabjous day!!
tragicone » neu 1 years ago
calooh callay?
squares » neu 1 years ago
what about Dookie Chute?
woodenteeth » neu 1 years ago
I always hated: Mangina.

Whatever you do don't think about it too much. Your brain will cross association streams and a rip in the space time continuum will open up.
octafish » neu 1 years ago
You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.

You ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
loneal » neu 1 years ago
You seen my downstairs mixup.
theguitarhero » neu 1 years ago
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?
wonelove » neu 1 years ago
the posterior-inferior orifice..?
bixschmix » neu 1 years ago
Think about it: is it creepier to say "I'm going to come in you" or "I'm going to fill your hoo-ha with goof juice"?

(Stolen from Patton Oswalt, but geez is it true)
tekende » neu 1 years ago
Those are both hella weird things to say.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
You'd think, if you were using it in a situation where it is at all applicable, that it's something that could remain largely unsafe.
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Unsafe? I meant unsaid. Equally plausible.
tekende » pro 1 years ago
Unless it is a warning. Like, "if you don't want to get pr