Clearly you have very little sensitivity towards my fellow cyborgs.

So much for your dream, Martin. So much for your dream.

whoops, right you are. here's a chubby for paying attention.

%u201CGood sir,%u201D Daedala_x went on with a heightened sense of dignity, %u201Cthe one who is at a loss to understand the other is I. But at least the immediate point should be plain, unless you are determined to have it otherwise. Merely %u2014 you are my own colon.%u201D

The Colon regarded Daedala_x, and contracted its brows a little.

%u201CMy dear madam, you speak in error,%u201D was its reply. %u201CI am just myself %u2014 myself separately. And in any case there cannot ever have existed a close relation between us, for, judging from the buttons of your uniform, your service is being performed in another department than my own.%u201D

Yes, yes, go ahead and comment on my screwing up assetbar rather than the actual comment. That's what I get for touching myself at night.

It's okay. I touch myself at night too.
*support*

When I think about you...

You gotta go with Christ, brah.

Gotta have faith, faith, faith...

Hm, looks like that Assetbarista plugin actually makes the quotes display correctly now, though it didn't immediately after I posted.

What? Damn work computers and their slavish devotion to MS.

True, but if you had 1,000 plugs to work through I think that might also qualify as a protracted colon. Though I realize this is a stretch.

Now that's a pun.

"You cancelled your credit card. I need you not to cancel your credit card and I need you to up your limit." - Anna in Punchdrunk Love

Would they not accept goatse.cx? Let's face it, that's the proper image for a credit card. We all know it. It works on so many levels (mainly just two though).

Ah well, due to never having a credit card I'm deemed not responsible enough to have a credit card. I wouldn't want one either, but landlords are always wanting a credit check and apparently "I pay my bills on time every month in cash and have references for the past eight years or so that will attest to this and how I'm a great tenant" isn't quite the same for some reason. Nice to know that incurring debt is judged as more responsible than sensibly avoiding it altogether.

Dude, you know what's a good idea? Just get some credit cards. Get ones with no account fees if you can. Then, place them in a locked draw and throw away the key. Instant perfect credit rating.

Is that true? I thought you had to use them and pay them off to get a credit rating.

Yeah, my girlfriend got a secured card after giving them some sort of down payment. She's just running our rotating, fixed monthly expenses on it (cable, Netflix, etc.) and leaving them on auto-pay and then using auto-pay on her debit card to pay off the credit card. It's basically just adding an extra, unwanted layer in there, but it should be building credit.

Aside from some secured thing or something equally pain in the ass since I have absolutely no credit history nobody will even give me a card. I always find it interesting all these articles and such about how many cards Americans have an how easy it is when the only credit offer I've ever been approved on was when the lady at the taqueria gave me a dollar off because she was low on change.

Most people are bombarded with credit card offers as soon as they step into their college dorm. A lot of colleges even 'partner' with credit card companies, which basically means that they give them your dorm phone number so they can call you at all hours of the day or assault you around campus. We are further told by the experts that we should take advantage of these offers because it is a good time to start building credit.

Why wouldn't you pay 100% of it every month? Why incur interest?

This is fundamentally why I don't get it. Why on Earth would I ever want to borrow money from someone and then have to owe them more money as a result? I mean, I can sort of see the idea if you're buying a house or a car or such (I'd rather just save up until I could afford it or rent, but apparently people decided long ago to make this idea appear crazy to most people), but for everyday purchases what's the point?

I can maybe see the point of using a credit card in the days before debit cards were common as a convenience and then paying it off every month. Not ideal, but it was basically the only option. But going into debt over random crap?

Speaking of platinum at my old bank after my first debit card expired they sent me a platinum debit card. What in the hell is the point of that? I can now spend more of the money I already have? It looks shinier? So crazy.

That's exactly what I do. I have a credit card solely for the convenience of not having to run to an ATM all the time, and I have perfect credit.

Supposedly it is because the credit card companies will like it if you don't pay it all off as soon as you get the bill. I'm sure thye do like it better. But does that necessarily mean better credit? My father thinks it does. HE told me that when he owned his business he could take out a million dollars in credit.
I am definitely not a credit guy. I hate using the thing, because of the interest. You don't know how angry I was when I found out I was two bills behind because my mom didn't give me my bills when I was at college. I had to pay a lot of interest.
The reason why I use my credt card is so, basically, I can get a loan when it comes to important stuff. I am in college, and I like being in college, and I want to spend a long time in academia. I couldn't get any loans last year to pay for school because I had no credit, and my parents have terrible credit (my father reuined the good credit he got). That is why I am forcing my self to use this card when I have 7000 dollars in the bank, have a $300 monthly income, and I spend $100 a month.

$100 a month? You're kidding, right? Dude, just my fucking rail tickets cost me $23.50 a week. And that's student prices, regular folks pay $47. If I want to have lunch, it's what, $7 for a Subway meal? Or maybe $8 for the sushi place across the road. (Small college). I still live at home but occasionally get groceries for the week, and that's usually $100-$150. For a week. How - how is what you're saying possible? You're in college, staying presumably on campus, but you still have to eat for chrissake.

I'm the only student here how doesn't drink.
(Not really, but it feels this way).
But this is still funny, so have a chubby.

Been sober for the last year. It is REALLy easy when you don't have any money

wow, what an avatar. memory flowing back. chubbs

Monday: taco
Tuesday: hotdog
Wednesday: hamburgers and chocolate milk
Thursday: sloppy joes and burritos in a bag.
Friday: pizza day. the best day of the week. all the kids would line up super early just to eat.

Now I'm out of school and I don't have a job
I just sit around all sweaty and lethargic

me too.

you're a slob!

Well, you're a Crab.

CK PIRU 4 LIFE.

(if you don't get this, then I know more about street gang culture than you.)

And now I think about where it all went wrong
how I can't concentrate on anything but reruns

I am not positive about the $100, but I do think it is around there. Can't be more than 200, no way.
I don't spend money on anything, and I have a meal plan. I can get into the cafetaria whenever I want and eat however much I want.

I think it's the "cafeteria and eat however much I want" that makes $100 seem a bit more plausible. So basically you spend $100 on non-food items then, yes?

Yes, something like that. Sometimes I spend more. And sometimes I buy food as well.

on-campus accomodations and dining hall privilages might go a long way to mitigating sje's expenses.

Ahhh. The days of not paying rent, bills, renter's/home insurance, or food. And being able to walk to class. That is basically living for free if the school costs are covered.

That or just living with your girlfriend. It's basically like college except you no longer need to go to class and you never have homework.

Finding a job has been, basically, the hardest thing I have ever attempted to do in my entire life.

College was easy, finding a job is impossible.

i mean, c'mon, what do you do with a BA in English?

Sit quietly in the corner and cry.

I've got a BS in Biology, another in Microbiology (we didn't have a molecular biology program sadly so I had to improvise) and a couple of years of undergraduate research in a lab working on genetic mutation and repair.

This is why I have so much time to post on Assetbar all day long.

They give me the internet and my own PC, my job is in no way complicated. Therefore I have much time for myself.

I love that musical
Enjoy the chubb!

I lived on ramen and sriracha for three years. I made it on $50 a month for food, mostly in the liquid side. I lived in fucking Oklahoma, where rent is tiny. Still cost me a total of 500 a month after all things were considered.

I spend... around 400 a month on rent (utilities furniture included). And I get (beg borrow steal) all my food from my parents so it's basically free unless I go out to a restaurant.

50 a month must be pretty cheap ramen, I usually get the more expensive (80c/packet) kind cause it doesn't taste like cardboard :p

Mine was cardboard. A pack of 20 was $2.00. I had other things like crappy ripoff versions of cereal, but still super cheap. It is remarkable what a college-age body can live off of

Most of the off-brand cereals are pretty good and either basically indistinguishable or better.

Don't try the fake Cap'n Crunch.
It blows.

What's it called?

Skipper Crisp? Admiral Snap?

Berry Colossal Crunch.
I've half a bag on top of my fridge, if you want it.

Commodore Berry, by any chance?

Archduke Fudgula

Count Vanillula

Cocoa Crisp Rice
Golden Puffs
Honey Nut Scooters
Frosted Mini Spooners

Krispy Rice.

Yum.

I've done the math several times, and I still don't see how someone can live on $100 a month. Well, I suppose you could survive, but it's seriously not healthy. The half-life of caffeine is under 12 hours in most people, so you'll need to have coffee at least twice per day. An adequately sized latte or caffe mocha costs four dollars and change, and you'll want to give the barista a tip so the other patrons don't all look up from their iPhones and glare at you for being so cheap, so let's call it an even five dollars. That works out to $300 per month just for the essentials.

energy drinks are cheaper and can be bought in bulk. no glaring. not even a fake-smile customer-service cherubs asking if you want to donate a dollar to the cause of the week, 'cos the person ringing you up will go into the back room and shoot themselves on their next state-required ten-minute break.

that and the ramen and c-brand cereals can tide everyone over on $100. i'm soon to go off to college in the next few weeks. i will prove these statements.

You guys may be amazed to realize that you don't have to line up every morning to buy overpriced packaged crap like good little consumer drones when you can just have a cup of tea or instant coffee at home, or even (gasp!) not be addicted to caffeine. Mind boggling, I know.

I don't drink coffee, or red bull, or anything like that. And if I wanted to, my cafetaria--which, as I already said, is paid for for the year and I can go as many times I want and get as much as I want--has a good selection of coffee.

I bet your brochures are printed on used toilet paper too!

I know you are being sarcastic but alot of coffee shops are selling Fair Trade coffee now, and also rainforest-saving coffee.

God damn it that was supposed to be grocery stores.

I buy my tea from elderly Asians in small warren-like shops deep in the middle of Chinatown. I could probably get a mogwai there I asked nicely and had better connections.

Screw your yuppie coffeeshop, this wins far more hipster cred than your MacBook bespotted cafe with the infestation of fixies outside. I don't care if Ritual has a sign stated "No blogging in line".

O shit, are you in San Francisco too? If so, you're even cooler than I thought. (re: Ritual coffee)

Yeah, I live in the Haight. If you wanted to hang out some time or maybe get such as a burrito that would basically be awesome.

Hit me up on the Google mail. I'm Belgand there as well as everywhere else.

That would be Rad! I'm in Berkeley, but SF during the day.

My roommate lived on the sixty dollars a months he made by donating plasma every two weeks. We let him stay in the boiler room for $25 a month, and he spent the rest on ramen. He lived this was for over a year.

indigenous.

the word you were looking for is indigenous.

Reminds me of the Onion where on their video feed they had a headline once "Coming up: Learn how to brew your own coffee at home."

dear GOD, that i could go back and re-live my life from the instant i posted this comment.

I don't drink coffee and there's no way in hell I'd ever tip the barista. You know why you have that little tip jar there? It's because otherwise nobody would ever even consider tipping you.

Yeah, I'd never tip her unless she asked. I wouldn't stop after the tip if she did though.

I'd tip if she were naked.

Dildo it! $1

There is no coffee.

This is what I do with the Starbucks' Barista.

i lived on exactly $300 per month in college. but i made my own coffee.

I lived for about a month on the streets of Montreal. Twasn't too bad. There was a rough patch of about 3 or 4 days that I was wishing I had a roof, but other than that it was a fairly interesting experience. We lived on dollars a day.

He must be. Someone do some quick math here, because I blow at math (English major lolz):
I spent, including books/fridge for the room: around if not more than $1000 since late August. Not including the around $60 I spent in the past 2 days (technically I withdrew $40 but total I spent more like $40).

I'm not . . .although I must admit I didn't include the cost of my books in my calculation (they were $400).
I'm rethinking, though. I do go home every once in a while, on the train. That is $16, there and back. But I swear I don't spend more than $200.

Then tell us your secret dogg.

I live in Mexico.

Balls. Impractical for poor people such as me.

Yeah, but I wasn't an idiot willing to sink himself into debt for absolutely no reason. I had a debit card which I prefer, (it's the same level of convenience, but I'm only spending the money I actually have)I didn't have any income, and know it's just complete crap. Turns out that the responsible choice is the problematic one when you live in an irresponsible society.

I still get credit card offers in the mail despite having no credit history and knowing that they'd just turn me down as a result. It's crazy.

The main thing I miss (what with only having a debit card) is the speed of payment. Paying by debit takes 2-5 business days a lot of the time (esp. on online purchases), credit cards are pretty much immediate.

I just got my first credit card, and I did it solely because I was pissed off at my bank. Some checks crossed in the mail and I ended up overdrawing my account. It was like 2 days before I knew this, and I made a series of very small purchases (like $2, $4, nothing above 10). Then the bank charged me $35 for each one of those. With a credit card, I'll still pay it off each month, but no jackass overdraft fees. Plus, you know, building credit and all that jazz.

I find that if I use it as a credit card (which I do anyway to avoid bank fees) I don't have any real delays.

I got my first cards a couple of years ago when I got a real job. Spent about $20 on one every month (I liked the picture more), never really used the other. I mean a 20% interest rate doesn't really inspire me to max the thing out every single month. Bought a brand new car, made my credit soar. Paid them off in full every time.

In September of this year, I got an AmEx with a huge line of credit and a 5% interest rate.

I completely agree with the "I don't understand why you don't pay it off in full" every month mindset, but I'm starting to see why people get into debt. I've been putting more and more on one card every month (I'm up to $300 already this billing period, from my average of $100). I'm building a new PC and I'm tempted to just throw EVERYTHING on the card and then just pay $50 a month off. ARGH IT IS SO TEMPTING.

I can see how people might think that. That they can just go on paying off a little bit forever. I still look at it and realize that I'll be paying more long-term in exchange for thinking that I'll be paying less. Also I realize that one day the reckoning will come.

But think, if you manage to put it off until hyperinflation starts, and we move to megadollars, your debt will be pretty much gone!

Or better yet, put it off infinitely and die in massive debt. That's my plan.

Isn't debt inherited?

Legal spouses inherit estates, which include assets and debts, even in absence of a will. If there is no spouse, and an estate has sufficient assets, debts must be paid out by the executor while the will is in probate. If there are insufficient assets to cover outstanding debts, the estate can be declared bankrupt. I don't know enough about the recent tightening of the screws that was called 'bankruptcy reform' to know for sure, but it may now be easier to be declared bankrupt after you are dead than while you are alive.

Quote:
I could tell you a grim, grim story about inherited debt, lawyer, guns, money, suicide. In fact, throw in 20 year h.s. reunion, class president, and I pretty much just did tell it.

send lawyers guns and money, daddy, get me out of this

No, actually the reverse. See above reference: inherited debt; daddy and son were lawyers.
Use your imagination, the reality was grimmer still.

([url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5puAN1PGQw]warren zevon[/i] quote, your story reminded me)

yeah, dang, that one was pretty much mine to lose

Yeah, Warren Zevon song.
The son, who was our H.S. Senior class President, was also in charge of our 20th H.S. reunion. Also, he inherited his dad's debt, which turned out to be prodigious. Both were, not coincidentally, lawyers.
My friend got into pushing powder to try to make up the deficit, got busted a few weeks before reunion, and now can you guess the rest?

You are rocking some rough chuckles these days man.

Also your HS reunion totally isn't important enough to go that far in response to it.

Yes, guilty as charged, good sirrah. It was overly indulgent indeed to pound home a mental image for the young enquiring Master, of an Edwin Corey sort of fellow I grew up with, who, partly because of Inherited Debt, and of course, the negative karmic interest accrued therewith, felt compelled to eat his .38 caliber snubnose the week before said reunion.

Sadly, I did not attend and I am mostly sure he did not either.

I beg yours, Achewood's, and Edgar Allan Poe's forgiveness for babbling on with this dreary tale, but, lame me as you will, I know I deserve it. The telling begs the laming, I reckon.

Oh, p.s.
My seconds will be calling on you.

Man, you know we've all been out of lames on this board for, like, three days now. You know that!

At this point, anybody can say anything.

WOMEN SUCK, XKCD ROCKS.

I lamed you, I'm sorry.
It was more of a personal challenge, to see if I had the ability.

It turns out I do suck pretty bad!

LAME

(secret chubby, for the second half only. Don't tell no one.)

Oh dear, I fear you may have mistaken me. I was intending to state that I felt the poor fellow had gone to rather extreme lengths in order to save face and that one's reunion was definitely not on an order of magnitude such to make that sort of rashness advisable.

Your tale itself was, as so many seem to be, one of melancholy, the sins of the father being visited upon his son, and banking.

Was his name Henry? :(

Papa won't leave ya Henry, so there ain't no need to cry.

The road is dark, and the road is long, and many fall by the side...

His name wasn't Henry.

sadly that could probably also be a warren zevon song though at a lower tempo

Thomas Jefferson pulled that off, but they say he was a pretty smart guy. Plus he had Prez-cred.
Priceless!

I am one who got one resentfully. I travel a bit and airfare is something they don't accept cash for. I am also one of those who subscribe. I pay it off whenever I use it.

Does this mean you don't have a card alltogether, or just not a credit card (but a debit one)?

I use my debit card basically whenever possible. I've frequently used it for purchases of as low as two dollars or so. I like to save my cash for purchases that require cash and in SF that's fairly common.

You should smack them with your cane and say "My cheques are good enough for anyone in this town, sirrah."

You know what is kinda stupid? You blocked out the first four numbers, but they're printed again right below it. Hence, the first twelve digits of your credit card are 4862 3624 0822, and I'm willing to guess that I could figure out the last four with a bit of regenerative photoshopping. You also included the expiry date.

Dude. That. Was. Stupid.

How about go fuck yourself, he said himself that the strip was no good.

So he's making people pay to view it? That makes no sense!

JUST POST BOTH JEEZ IS THAT SO HARD.

that strip is terrible compared to this strip.

you just think about what that means.

also, there must be some people who are subscribers, and yet none of them are on assetbar. who are these die hard fans with their tongues cut out, pray tell?

while it would delight me to no end to receive a lot of naked animals, perhaps you are right. i was actually going to blank the rest, but didn't for the sake of the photo. how silly/naive.

since you seem to know a lot about this, and since i seem to know very little, let me ask you:

how does most credit card fraud happen? it seems that online, for everything you'd want to buy with a cc, you'd also have to enter in your billing address and the 3-digit security code. so even if someone made a pressing of your card numbers at a restaurant, they still wouldn't have your address. and in person, you would have to present the actual card. right?

Usually we go about stealing CCs using phishing techniques. All those fake emails telling you that you won something or that there is something wrong with your bank account or some such. You follow the link to a fake site that looks legit, then enter your info, and bam. Two days later you are cleaned out by some Russian with a penchant for veggie-based porno.

I'm so happy that we could all get together here to talk about our credit. This is so interesting. I was just wondering about everyone's individual credit situation. I actually have been for awhile. I didn't know how to broach the subject.

Thank you. Thank you.

Depending on the weight of the vehicle, of course.

By the way, my prostate is pink as a trout.

A visual inspection is contraindicated with the prostate. Also, you should just avoid broken mirrors in general.

A brown trout?

Flazisismuss sayeth: [qoute]I'm kind of hoping we'll move on to prostate health[/quote]
Well, my PSA level has gone up slightly, and has been in what they call an elevated level all along, but I'm not worried, and I won't let them stick a thing up my butt to poke holes through my colon wall to sample my prostate! Just let me die!

What, I can't spell "quote"? Must be my prostate acting up.

The prostate is the Secret Seat of Spelling.

I fret over spending $1.50 to take the bus somewhere. Three dollar a month would be an amazing improvement in my finances. I haven't earned that kind of money in years.

I hate going to school by the metro but the advantage is that they give me a bus pass that's good anytime.

This should have more lames.

This is the dude's job, you know. He's just trying to make some money. The best way to do that is to post some for free and some for pay.

disagree: one of the things i find most appealing about achewood is that it's one of the few rad things in my world that isn't plastered in advertisements. i currently have no income, but when i do, i have no problem supporting onstad by subscribing and purchasing more merch

I lamed this by accident. Sorry.

not a prob. thanks for letting me know.

[/rant]

While I agree, I still think he could have been a bit more honest with how he promoted the new strip, or even just gone ahead and posted both here. I mean, you don't pay per strip for the premium site and, like has been said, no one is going to turn down FREE content, especially if it was advertised.

But yeah, the man's got to eat.

Quote:

It's a sick world.

Oh man check this out:
http://www.alexa.com/
Compare Achewood.com and xkcd.com and put it on maximum. Jeez, Randall's site took a dive.

Oh wow, I started comparing xkcd, Questionable Content, Achewood, and Scarygoround. If you look at it, viewership of both QC and xkcd take a strong dip in late summer/ fall:

[IMGS OFF]

People go back to school, and forget all about their formerly followed webcomicery? That's all I can imagine.

Buuuut...while Scarygoround and Achewood have recently shown a drop in viewership, the viewing pattern is far less clearly seasonally defined:
[IMGS OFF]

What does it meeeeean? Statistics, what are you trying to tell us?

chase v. wamu. look at the latter drop to near-achewood numbers.

Maybe it's because I'm an ancient 36 years old and remember paying $10 for 48 pages of Life In Hell (the comic Matt Groening wrote before The Simpsons), but where the hell do you get off telling him his comics should be free?

I like this comic. It's actually the avatar I use most on the internet, is a picture of Binky. However I only have one book. I should buy more of them.

I went ahead and bumped it past the magical 3-lame limit for you lil guy

I can only give it one lame, so I'll give you a chubby.

Yeah _x, you should probably close that account.

but but.. autrepoupee says you're all my friends and she asked me "you trust your friends don't you?" and i said "yea!" because ray told me that friends are people who don't do crimes to you and... HUUUUUGS!

(*hug*)

Sssshhh. Don't tell anyone.

Haha, I guess someoen found you guilty by association

Maybe Osama wouldn't be such a meanie if more people hugged him as a kid.
Just a thought.

i think i almost wouldn't mind if assetbar bought a jet with my credit card. actually, it would probably be the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.

Don't fall into that trap. The collections department at Gulfstream will seem like such nice people the first time they call you. Six weeks later, when you wake up to find a severed landing gear on the pillow next to you, you'll realize they mean business.

My perenium is most certainly closed.

Sounds like you got one of the earlier models. They've since fixed that problem though it does require a slight, albeit simple upgrade.

I have an image I could link to here, but it was judged disturbing even among the denizens of Warren Ellis' blog. I will not subject anyone else to it.

my interest has been piqued.

If an image of a lady who has - and this bit is unrelated by and large - had her clitoris and inner labia surgically removed having a gleaming metal meat hook (for lack of a better word) inserted into her vagina and out of her perineum (I, as well as others, had initially believed it to be coming out of the anus, but despite this causing a very nasty fistula it was later shown by those with the stomach to make a close inspection to not be the case) then I shall certainly go and try to track it down again and then post a link to it for you.

[url="http://news.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/crochet.jpg"]Heck, I'll post it anyway[/url]

I think I have bever been more grateful to a BBcode fuckery before. Thank you BBcode.

It's kind of the opposite of the goatse.cx redirect in retrospect. You get the disturbing image entirely explained, but the link, she is borked.

I was originally just going to link to it, but after searching a bit I decided that maybe I better not. I wasn't just trying to tempt you into asking for it, I really wanted someone to have to push for it and even then I didn't want to send anyone to their doom without having a fair warning of exactly what to expect.

i could have gone my entire life without seeing that... but i'm glad i didn't

What an incredibly stupid thing to do. What sort of person wants their genitals to be so mutilated beyond repair? Elizabeth Bathory did this shit to scullery maids for not drawing her bath properly, why would you voluntarily eliminate any possibility of sexual pleasure?

I mean christ, I don't even like nipple piercings. That, that goes beyond "alternative". Now you're just insane. What a dumb, dumb, dumb thing to do. Dumb. It's like she wants to be a rubber doll.

i kind of wonder if it was her idea, or if she had to be convinced (and just try to imagine how that conversation went). incidentally, the most disturbing part of the whole photo, for me at least, is the wedding ring

Agh, yuck. She very much could've been 'convinced' by some Svengali type. I "get it", if the aim here was to deny her sexual pleasure because of some Total Power Exchange relationship, but--shit. Give it a little thought before you mangle yourself permanently, because how many TPE type relationships do you see going strong well into their old age?

Now, as for the wedding ring, my plan is to just have my partner cut off their ringfinger and give it to me; that way, I can be assured they'll never be another's. I mean, duh guy, fuck the ring!

Oddly on topic wedding band tattoos actually make a certain degree of sense to me.

At the same time I'm fundamentally anti-marriage (and vehemently against the gub'mint being involved in marriage) and I definitely don't view it as at all permanent. I've been told that my idea of "Well, if you don't like it you can always get divorced" means I just don't "get" marriage. I'd agree with that. As far as I'm concerned we've been together for eight years, we've been living together for five, some ceremony and a legal contract aren't going to make any real difference in any way that actually matters.

Maybe she just really sucked at drawing her master's bath?

While I would never, ever support someone doing that (although if they want to do something stupid to themselves it's their choice) I have to say it does look kind of nice. Very smooth and sleek. I think this is a case where disturbingly my aesthetic preferences for sleek, harsh, minimalist modern design (nothing extraneous, nothing that isn't a right angle or a flat plane, black or very dark stain exclusively) is interfering with my preferences regarding crotches.

Still, I don't think that ladies ought to have Bauhaus crotches.

I showed this to my roommate and his first response was "daaamn, that's a nice-looking pussy!"

I've heard that the removal of excess labia skin is a popular new surgical cosmetic procedure, but did she go beyond that? Also, do you know for a fact that her clitoris is removed or are you just inferring it from the photo? Is it possible that it's just hard to see?

We need more context for this.

She has had a lot of things removed, and while a lot of it was ancillary meat, I'm definitely not seeing the remnants of a clitoris anywhere. If it is there, well, then it must've been a cosmetic move on her part, and not some weird, ritualistic s&m thing. It's just a vacuous hole, like a sex doll. Sort of disturbing, but a reasonable enough facsimile of a human vagina that I can see how someone would want to put their genitals in it.

Pretty much though, anytime you can see inside of a person, it is terrifying. I don't want to look at your insides. You hear me, goatse! You hear me, crochet! I can visualize the pink viscera that is all up ins, I don't need to see it!

I don't see where it could hide. It's like she had a little strip with a pull-tab for opening like on a frozen pizza box or a FedEx envelope and someone just pulled it to open her up.

ewwww.

DO NOT WANT.

LOVE CLITS

LOVE THEM

PRESENT

Perhaps once too many?

Sorry, Here we go.

If that doesn't work you can also try this

There's also a Firefox plugin called Linkification that does the noble work of turning any unlinked URL into a clickable link. It largely circumvents BBcode abortions and turns them into a healthy and nourishing stew.

Just like Cream of Sumyun Gai.

I .. . I . .. .
I . .. .
can i have a hug

Suck it up, son. You're a man now.

Seriously people. I described it for you in advance. You knew what you were getting yourselves into. This was judged freaky by one of the main catalogers and creators of perversity on the Internet. This is a man who wrote a (great) novel with a scene where dudes are watching home edited Godzilla bukkake films while in some cases being pleasured with big reptilian-style gloves and even he thought it was wrong.

This is the Internet. If you can't find it here it probably doesn't exist... and since the Internet is filled with tons of things that don't exist it must like, super not exist or something.

(i didn't actually click on the link).

Trust me, you really should. At least, the first fixed link. Confront your fears. The only way out is through. Fear is the mind-killer. All of that. Seriously though, trust me on this one. You want to click that link.

It's not about fear, it's about disgust and perversion. Not want in brain. bad program

Since it's successfully far enough away from the links that I shouldn't taint everything when I went back and fixed the links I changed it slightly. See how the first link goes to a different place than the second which was the URL I initially posted? The first link is something very pleasant. It was a joke after giving such a horrible, yet accurate description. The second link is to the awfulness. Both to provide what was requested and perhaps maybe someone lets their guard down and thinks it's all a big joke and decides that since I lied about a link once maybe the whole thing was fake. It was not.

Me neither. Nver saw a slasher flick, either. My imagination is bad enough.

Read a few comments up. Hugs are for terrorists and will get you lames.

No, hugs will change mean old terrorists into kindly firefighters. Hugs make all the difference in the world.

as long as not from guys in turtlenecks.

Hugs change men.

Read the above comment to Pogo. The first link is basically a great big V-Hug.

PUPPIESSSS!!!!

I told you to trust me on that one. This is the proper way: describe in detail something horrible that you will not want to see and provide you with something adorable. If you were brave enough to click it anyway you are surprised and relieved. If you went in wanting perversion you will be sorely disappointed. It's also the unicorn chaser to having read that or if you went on and saw the image. Or if you just want a palate cleanser after reading and before viewing.

Also, it is not puppies. One is a kitten.

What has happened to that lady may not be so good. However, at least she looks different to all the other ladies in porn, that land of lipgloss and buggery, where they have all had their junk trimmed to look as neat as an M&S ham sandwich.

[IMGS OFF]

Not to mention you could figure it out if you were handy with the algorithms they generate credit cards numbers with. And the four digit prefix is generally uniform for each company.

I thought I would bust in on the "upper bits" with an important Achewood reminder.

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua180pMV

Our every move is the new tradition.

Heh, what?

i don't see what you're talking about. perhaps it's a different strip?

Girls and Boys, that strip is the beginning of the Great Outdoor Fight arc. Read it all the way through again, or for the first time.

Warning: G.O.F. strips can make you emotional.

I'd like to say that the GOF arc is always relevant, but unfortunately I have to say that the GOF arc is not always relevant.

Ok, true.

But it is always awesome.

Bronze, dude.

You can't make bronze without tin.

WTF would all the third place finishers do without tin? Would they get copper?

The gold medal goes to the US, the silver medal goes to China, and the copper medal goes to Swedem.

Fuck, the Olympics would become a laughingstock. Athletes would be trying to get fourth, to avoid getting a fucking copper medal.

The debrinzing process is a simple one step process:

Step one: remove the brinze.

I have looked at this for so long, and I simply do not get it. What the hell are you talking about?

Echo.

maybe theguitarhero meant "debronzing"? I really do not know. I'm not a science person.

Tom Goes To The Mayor, specifically the episode "Porcelain Birds".

It's a reference to a Tom Goes to the Mayor episode. And yes, it's about bronzing/debronzing; in the episode, there's two instructional film strips (one covering each process), and on both the narrator has an odd pronunciation of bronzing.

But, if you ask me, he says it more like "brunzing", and not "brinzing."

100%. I don't see what all this nonsense about Carbon is about.

100%. I don't see what all this nonsense about Carbon is about.

Since you are metallic, it is little wonder you do not grok carbon-based life.

Pogo replied to baryonyx on assetbar

That is an exciting new word.

Grok?

Or metallic?

No, that.

I think he means grok. It is from a sci-fi book I didn't finish (it was still good).

Not to knock sci-fi, but Stranger in a Strange Land is so much more than just a sci-fi book.

There were so many good books that I just didn't finish.

I agree. It was a very good book. I have to go back to it someday.

I am intimately familiar with grok. I grok the fullness.

I just wanted to know what he considered to be an exciting new word.

I still have my fingers crossed for "metallic."

Maybe he is suggesting that because pogo was born before the 1960s, "grok" is still an exciting new concept to him.

That would be unfair. Those of us with seniority were Heinlein fans in the day, you know. We were the first to grok. Grok we still.

More in the sense that TV is a new invention to people born before it was. I know DVDs still excite me and they're over a decade old.

Nah, he just never heard it before, I'll bet.
Interesting how many other got the reference. Man I loved that book, I wanted to be Michael Valentine.

Or Valentine Michael Smith, even.

Him too.

Fillings.

Sir I have spent many a cloudy afternoon commited to fairytale battles, blackening my small fingers with a battalion or two of tin soldiers.

My fondest of memories.

Where's Silicone? I see a lot of Silicone body parts on the videos I find of you people over there..

On that note i'd like to point out that tin has never actually been used to make 'tin' foil only aluminum.

I'd like to point out that aluminium has four syllables.

As a Cornishman, I will NOT HAVE TIN MALIGNED.

I think if I got a tattoo it would just say "Physics=Cool Stuff"
I'm a bit too much of a nerd to think of good tattoos.

Or "What We Need More Of Is Science"?

It is a true fact.

Capital A in Ass, MFers.

"Ass" is a cliche I could definitely dive headfirst into!

*ha cha cha*

As long as it's not your own!

*right back at cha*

too late for biff

We had one of them! He was quite popular among the young ladies.

Ah, memories of Multiplication Rap. The 9 times table was particularly funktastic.

Also, the .38 times table, and the .45 times table are quite 'dope'.

Mine would be all descriptions of common grammar errors, like the difference between your and you're, its and it's, and that one should never use quotes to make something stand out like it was bold or something (like on a poster: Movie Night Saturday, there will be "Pizza")

And people would ask me about it, and I'd be all:
I rock my font twelve point sans serif,
I ain't the English dep-u-tee, I'm the Sheriff.

I might just get a semi-colon somewhere on my person.

You should get a colon. You know, in case your original goes bad, then you have a spare.

Prose before hos, my friend. Prose before hos.

....as in, "owned"?

Your mneumonic quadratic formula song is so much more rockin' than mine.

The Quadratic Formula
Sung to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel
X equals negative b
Plus or minus the square root
of b squared
minus 4 a c
all over 2a!

This is the song that got me a Bachelor's and a math job. I will not hear any ill words spoken near it

were they all clapping their hands to the rhythm while you were singing it and after you were done the grown ups in the room came over and gave you a sucker and said "that was just swell hedonismbot! well of course you can work for us little guy!"

I also had to show them this thing I do where I make my wangle into an integral sign.

my college sells these t-shirts that say:

%u03A3 %u222Bex= f(un) %u2234 yo
u%u2192xc

the joke was: as you approach ecstacy, sex is fun, therefore, why not?

i did not purchase this for $10.

*sigh*

Assetbar ate your clever t-shirt post.

I am sure it would have been hilarious.

hella mangled, just as i suspected

if you care, the symbols read as u approaches c, the sum of integral e to the x equals f of u sub n, therefore y sub zero.

dang that felt so terrible to type. this is joke told only by gross fellows.

ASSETBARRISTA: APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.

INDEED

And you said you weren't a 4channer.

Please stop breaking hte first two rules.

Rules are for people who fall under the rule's jurisdiction. I'm a freeman of the Internet.

BOO TO THAT

COMIC SANS??

also, owls are terrifying. well, not really. but their faces are odd. take barn owls for instance, their completely white faces? (or T. a. pratincola on the wiki page for them) IT IS LIKE LOOKING AT DEATH.

AT DEATH.

Dammit I meant to hit reply, not chubby. Anyway, my mother thinks owls are the cutest things ever.

i don't understand how that could be considered cute.

well, i guess it would be the same way a toddler's body whose head has been exploded bounces off the ground is cute.

It... it has big eyes? I dunno!

The traditional one:
[IMGS OFF]

maha.

What you mean is, you drink your own urine.

Lets take his water.

But then I wouldn't be nice. You wouldn't like me when I'm not nice.

I need your spice, I float in a weird glass box and resemble Sahagin. Lets take a jaunt through the nether of space!

Mine was to happy birthday;

The opposite of b plus or minus
the square root b squared
minus fo-o-our a c
alllll divided by 2a

NEEERDS! GET EM OGRE.

I know this Pi shit backwards and forwards, y'all

Good effort, dude.

Good effort.

Good effort, dude.

Good effort.

Poor Steve just wanted some pie.

I think the joke is that Steve likes to eat.

r u shor

r u shor

I...I guess not...

perfect.

YouTube has this message about your link:

The URL contained a malformed video ID.

Malformed.

Is that the malformed ID of a video?

Or the ID of a malformed video?

Or is it the malformed life of the pathetic YouTube user?

it is the pathetic life of the malformed YouTube user.

YIKES.

Fuck Algebra.

with Little Nephew!

(speaking of him...it's about time we figure out where that player got at. also the robots.)

Wales is, surprisingly, the answer to both.

Overall it's a scary place where they decided that 'y' was doing such a great job at being a part-time vowel that they promoted it to full-time and, due in part to his recommendation, brought on 'w' as well.

Granted, I don't speak Welsh, but this is my approximation of that glorious language:
Ygwyglnmn gwyyyolgnmonmn Gwnlyndon

Don't speak Welsh. It's silly to speak Welsh.

I don't speak Welsh, either, but I can pretty well imitate a sheep being raped, which is the same to a casual ear

Rydw i'n gwneud gorchudd tebot

Rydw i'n gwneud gorchudd tebot

Rydw i'n gwneud gorchudd tebot

No. That is merely a common pastime in Wales. I suspect that the sheep and the Welsh simply rubbed off on each other.

Oddly Super Furry Animals' album Mwng is pretty damn good.

Other fantastic Welsh musicians/bands of note: Gorky's Zygotic Mynci and John Cale. This is all that I know about Wales.

Chubby for not mentioning Tom Jones.

Anti-chubby for not mentioning Catherine Zeta-Jones. Deferred on the grounds that she is not a musician.

Interestingly her current Wikipedia picture makes her look like a lady who works at the library, but not the cute young one.

According to this evidence everyone in Wales is named "Jones".

Whoa man I was just talking to someone about how Catherine Zeta-Jones seems to be prematurely making that switch from young and edgy-hot to old and milf-librarian-hot. And now it is on the internet! Has the internet been hiding in my room?*

*Yes.

I don't think she's making that particular transition yet. I was just trying to think of the proper occupation to put "this kinda average-looking girl that I might see occasionally" in without just it being some girl you pass in the street without paying any attention to. There was a girl I saw on the BART platform the other day rocking an awesome coat that I remember more than I would have ever remembered her as she looks in that picture.

There's also degrees. There's the professional-looking late-twenties/early-thirties kind of hot librarian look, but I was specifically thinking that she doesn't compare to the cute early-20s maybe still in college art school/lit major alt. kinda girl. Halfway through writing it initially I was reminded of a friend of mine who majored in art or literature or both and who worked at the library one summer and was pretty cute. Nothing ever happened there or probably ever would have, but somehow I remembered her of all people.

Back in '00 we were both home from our respective colleges and went out to see a movie together. I had been at a party that I hadn't known was even happening before heading over when a girl I'd been interested in before college and had more or less forgotten about showed up. After the movie I came back to the party and as a result we started dating. We're still together.

Aren't, or in Richard Burton's case, weren't he and Anthony Hopkins from the same small Welsh village?

Yes.

Only about half are Joneses. The other half are Smiths.

There's Lostprophets, Bullet for My Valentine, and Funeral for a Friend, though none of those can really be described as fantastic.

This probably sounds unreasonable but the first time I listened to Lostprophets I realized that I didn't really like Linkin Park.

I didn't even need to listen to Linkin Park to realize how terrible they are. The name told me everything I would ever possibly need to know about them. So far this reasoning has been proven entirely correct.

Yea, but you weren't in high school when they first appeared. I never loved them or anything, but when I first heard them I thought "hey this sounds kind of good" and it took me a few months to realize it wasn't.

This is what I don't get about all the hipsters who only like "respectable" music like pre-1980 punk, Bob Dylan, free jazz, and whatever avant-noise or folk thing Pitchfork is pushing. Did you not have an adolescence like the rest of us? Who taught you to have "good taste"?

So you liked something until you realized that you didn't like it.

(Don't worry, I'm not a Linkin Park fan, fellas.)

They ignore that part of their lives, the part where they obsessed over "The Wall" for 8 months or even earlier when they themselves listened to Eminem when he was Slim Shady (I'm not guilty of either charges).

There is nothing wrong with obsessing over "The Wall" in your youth. That is fine, fine classic rock. Anyone who says the Floyd sucks is a damn child and will never know love.

Oh I'm sorry but BALLS man. Talk about pretentious. I can't stand 99% of that album. It's based on like 4 singles and the rest is shitty filler. Honestly. And its most diehard defenders are 14 year old stoners. I enjoy Dark Side every once in a while but The Wall makes me gag.

I did enjoy Dark Side of the Moon more than The Wall.. but Dark Side hit me at a very impressionable age. Both are awesome albums. Anyone who didn't have a Pink Floyd musical period is not a full person, methinks.

Atom Heart Mother is <i>the</i> Pink Floyd album. Sorry, but now you know.

*the* gahhh!

I did discover Atom Heart Mother at a crucial time ... what time ... pass the joint, man.

I could have done without the esoteric babbling in "Arnold's Psychedelic Breakfast", but otherwise I can listen to the title track repeatedly.

I've always preferred Wish You Were Here, and not just because of the burning man on the cover (most reproduced Floyd poster? maybe)

Wish you Were Here is definitely my favorite Floyd song.. but not my favorite album as a whole.

The best Pink Floyd album is Obscured by Clouds. Piper at the Gates of Dawn is a close second.

Word.

Have you ever seenThe Vally? I gotta see that one of these days.

Christ on Toast!!

The Valley, of course.