yeah, he is totally randy savaging it up.

but you still think about it?

I CANNOT STOP

HELP ME

As I scrolled down, I had growing fears that a fleshlight would appear in the lower half of the picture. How awkward would that have been?

There are already plenty of fleshlights on the Net, let's make Achewood a non-sex-toy zone.

Um...wha- what's a fleshlight?

You probably realised this would be unwelcome.

uhhh Quoi? Qu'est ce que tu dis la? C'est n'est pas drolle ca. Pas du tout. Il y a des enfants ici tu sais! De toute facon ce n'est pas possible ce que tu propose. Ca ne colle pas. Pas du tout. Ce n'est pas hygenic. Comme ta mere.

You kinda look like Napoleon now.

Comme ta mere.

Au contraire, c'est tres possible, comme ta mere a demonstre hier soir. Et je ne pense pas qu'il y a des enfants ici, excepte peut-etre jollysaintpete. Que douche.

I think my favourite part is how you said we couldn't "master" BB Code and then you fucked it up.

Twice.

that. was. awesome.

I do not think alreadyinuse was sincere with any of his words.

He is a specific type of internet character-actor as far as I can tell, of a style I can generally appreciate.

If he did mean any of his many, many words, then your words are totally correct in assessment.



also NO

It doesn't matter whether he meant it (I assume it was a parody of internet anger?), it was lame.

Yea, I think autrepoupee is right. I mean the hilarity of it is that I pretty much just repeated his own initial 'your mom' joke back to him. It reminded me of the hate mail on realultimatepower by that one guy who claimed to be a real ninja soke who's gonna find Robert Hamburger and kick his ass. Or maybe it was just in the book, which everyone should read.

But alreadyinuse, the point of language is to make assertions and state facts! You are corrupting the essence of communication!

My time spent arguing with teenagers and adult assclowns on YouTube confuses me when I come across subtlety.

Man, I didn't think of that till after I posted. It seemed so genuine though! Ah well, I'm a douche.

If we could edit these posts, I would recant the above recant. But we can't.(HIYO!)

alreadyinuse, i will never think of you again in any fashion other than 'the guy who said he was related to ed gein'

re:Jollysaintpete's post: I am flattered that you remember anything about me anyway.

yeah I'm a douche. I'm worse than a douche I'm the guy who when we are stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean discretely drops the one bottle of water that we have overboard just to have an excuse to drink the douche water that we have first because he finds it slightly exciting and intriguing.

Yeah the above rant was plagerized - adapted from shaw's rails is a ghetto rant.

>>But alreadyinuse, the point of language is to make assertions and state facts! You are corrupting the essence of communication!

what? no! language is for... um... comedy! Andy Koffman style! Tom Green style! and sex! Sex, Andy Koffman style! and Tom Green style! The next time you are having sex (with your MMD, MMDAV, or with someone else,) just think how much boring it would be without language!

Thanks everyone for sharing in my orgasmically funny performance assetart! Don't forget to wash your hands! (or other areas as appropriate!) And use a keyboard cover!

I'm disappointed I never got my neuro-linguistic programming analysis that I requested. What the HELL people! What the HELL!

6. You got really angry about something someone else said on the internet.
man but you basically did this too or at least you put a whole lot of effort into some post that wasn't even that great man. chillllllllll

Yes you can and they smell of vanilla. http://www.fleshlight.co.uk/index.php?cat=2

These are the things you can never unknow. Yeah, I aint even going to risk trying to embed that link.

A wildly unpleasant thing that you should not google if you want to stay golden, catgrl.

Or, a torch-shaped object that you fuck as if it were made of flesh.

"Flesh" creeps the fuck out of me about a million times more than "cunt" or the other words we've debated thus far.

You never hear flesh being used in a context that would make one comfortable anymore.

Yes. It is rare that you hear "He took an arrow straight out of his quiver and shot it into my calf flesh!"

Though that may just be due to the fact that people are rarely shooting arrows straight out of their quivers anymore.

Arrows in your flesh is a comfortable thing?

I think he might have meant the opposite of what you thought.

Oh, no. No. I don't mean that arrows in the flesh is comfortable physically. I just mean it's not uncomfortable to hear about. Which is what I thought they were talking about?

I can never seem to get across what it is I'm trying to convey. That makes me a sad girl.

Er, sorry that was a forced reference. Wasn't trying to be a dick.

Everyone lamed you for being mean to me, so I will chubby you, for friendship!

And v-chub to everyone who had my back also.

Thanks, you are rad! I really didn't expect that anyone would take it as being mean, but whatever.

how would you shoot an arrow straight out of the quiver?

I am so sad.

"He took an arrow straight out of his quiver."
The quiver is the holder, I know that?

Straight from quiver to bow to calf flesh?
I don't know. Poo.

At least you do not err grammatically.

thank you for using the word "err".

Also, fuck that rule where you put punctuation inside the quotes if a quote ends your sentence.

"Fuck that rule".

It's only a rule in America. The Brits and others put the period outside the quotes. "No fuck".

Thank you! I used to get so mad at my teachers who would tell me I was incorrect, when I was really just trying to use the King's English.

That made me laugh because it made absolutely no sense to me. Quixotic Chubby.

Re: flesh. A kid in my high school was named Fleischman, and once I learned that's German for "flesh man" or butcher, I avoided him.

It is quite a strange thing, but to be fair it seems that Vibrators and Dildos are, while kinda taboo, far more 'acceptable' socially than those things, which I don't quite understand..

I guess it's cause dicks ain't that complicated, so if you need toys to make one happy you got to be doing some fucked up shit?

I think it (the double standard of sex toy taboos) is because the toys for ladies can be used while having sexy fun with other people, whereas the Fleshlight (and its ilk) is pretty much just for when a guy is doing some freaky soloing.

You sound so different now that you are not Stephen Fry, spinynorman.

Yeah, now I'm just some pale-ass kid on the internet. Like all the others...

But go back and read some of his posts in the archives, the wit and edge are still there. I think he might be holding back a bit on the new ones, though. As should I. (Sorry for all the macho letchery young ladies. I'm really not like that.)

Eh, there may be one or two steeplechase sentences I put out there, but right now I'm specifically looking to avoid writing anything too complicated. Any downtime is good time.

You're too humble, lad. You put steeplechase sentences, Brobdingnagian paragraphs, and Churchillian repostes out there.

I was never really all that creeped out by fleshlights until a conversation I had on the subject the day before yesterday when the word "cleaning" came up.

Yeah, that's got to be really foul

I think Beef and Mr. Savage both have strange ideas about what it means to be a man.

I am glad you made this distinction. There is a HUGE difference between guys and Dudes.

I'm not really seeing it...care to elaborate?

see woodenteeth's post below

The films "Brian's Song" and "Ol' Yeller" are the only known technologies for erasing them.

we had to watch "brian's song" in high school gym class, which is the area in which the differences between dudes and puddles are most strongly delineated. It was a strange experience, the form of the message being enforced by the juridical power of the gym teacher while the content of the message was banned by the socionormative power of the space we know as "gym class"...
[/postmodernism]

So a man can show emotion, but not a dude?

Hey, give me a ring the next time you're expecting a breast attack, would ya?

um what

See here, now.

What is up satan's ass? He's always tryin' to fuck us up, the dicklicker...

No! No one should ever lame Mr. Show refernces.
Can I get a fuckin' a?

(fuckin A)

I believe an anti-depression lamp may be right up your alley, dogg.

3-cell-D with alternative LED bulb assembly. (2-AA in glove box)

If you are going to go meta, I say go all the way.

I remain your faithful servant,

gimluck

for example:

Exemplifying the signoff line,
Earendil

I've given up on signature phrases altogether, I just put a hyphen in front of my name.

I can tell someone's mom is going to be upset in a couple weeks...

How about a fleshlight?

DUDE, you're trying to hard
:-(
:-.........................)
:----------------...%u221E

the fuck?

that's cop style flashlight. best for beating people with.
there was this never ending ongoing case in my old county. these cops were busting up a party and this one decided to beat this obnoxious drunk on the head with his 3 D-cell Mag-Lite.
the dude died and many witnesses testified that they saw the flashlight break and the saw the batteries come flying outta there. the case went on and on and the witnesses got discredited 'cuz they were "drunk". and they were. but many saw this happen. the case went on so long that most of the witnesses started to disbelieve their own testimony.. i mean they were drunk and it happened so long ago.
the cop said he never used his flashlight on the drunken reveler. not sure what the outcome was, tho i doubt the cop was ever justly reprimanded (a murder or manslaughter charge).

You have explained the punchline admirably, sir.

i'm not convinced that ray felt sick as hell. friends' arrests are not as sick as hell.

What exactly would the consequences of a friends' arrest be, anyway? I'm thinking it's something like when my roommates barge in while I'm putting off doing a paper by refreshing assetbar for the 200th time, and drag me out to the living room to play Super Smash Bros.

It's like an intervention, only more serious. And you don't need to be addicted to anything. But you do get locked away for a varying period of time.

It's the course of justice.

I read this as "It's of course the justice." Perhaps I am not fully awake?

Take off every Zig!

you have no chance to survive make your time.


hahaha.

Oh man that brings back hell of memories.

you sure age regally ethel. quickly, but regally.

A. that avatar is hell of scary. Freaking me out right now, srsly. Like, evil plastic demon kill attack go! time.

B. someone set us up the bomb.

(or preferably that demon witch in your avatar. aaaagh.)

Please to be having more respect for Her Majesty.

It's you.