is honk a slang term for a shot or a brand new unit of alcohol? i would totally buy a honk glass regardless.
unsentletter » pro1 years ago
I think a honk in this case is a shot or a slug of booze. Not a new unit, just slang for during Serious Booze Time.
bozendoka » neu1 years ago
I imagine it to be closer to a snort.
alejandroadam » pro2 years ago
I know at least two people like Ray. they can pick up a banjo and be good at it, and basically anything else, but when you have to fill up in a ruff area of town, they make it a bigger problem. involving many onlookers
aperson » neu9 months ago
[IMGS OFF]
fineoakstructure » neu8 months ago
ruff! ruff!
ttagxamm » neu2 years ago
I like to think that Ray's reading started off with him making airquotes as he spoke the title. Then he said 'Copyright Ray Smuckles, 2005' aloud before the first line.
tekende » pro2 years ago
There is no way this is not true.
cracklewater » neu1 years ago
Ray does not know what the phrase 'toe the line' means.
lizjones » pro2 years ago
Beef gets his sass on in panel two.
nicolae » pro2 years ago
The italics give it a sinister air.
peterjoel » neu2 years ago
Beef will not be castigated.
cpnglxynchos » neu1 years ago
...dogg.
scorpio_nadir » neu1 years ago
Beef gets around and is way creative for a cat with nuclear depression.
anomalous3 » pro2 years ago
I am puzzled. I do not yet understand beef's fixation with concealed weapons in food
madnes » neu2 years ago
I think Beef has an eating disorder. He doesn't really like meals and often forgets to eat. Poor kitty.
A hot dog is whipped meat
the skin yields a snap.
The flavor unmistakable
the condiments eternal.
Ketchup, mustard,
ground onions and kraut,
pepperoncini, tomato,
all flavor the snout.
But inside the foodstuff
a hidden ink pen
single-shot .45 Magnum
hidden in the pen.
OH SHIIIIIIIT
untilyouaresonude » pro2 years ago
Ray's got a way with words, that's for sure.
saint » neu2 years ago
my car has been shot
djwhiterabbit » neu2 years ago
can anyone explain "why you so down at the corners of your slice" to me?
i just got hit by a very fast slow-pitch softball.
babachewy » neu2 years ago
The slice is his mouth, so being down at the corners of your slice means you are frowning.
natashamarie » pro2 years ago
some classic "ohhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit"
heavymetaljesus » pro2 years ago
"Dogg do not castigate me" is equal or almost equal to "Dogg don't piss on me I just invented photoshop" in it's hilarity.
redmad » neu2 years ago
So... so is he like shouting 'ohhhhh shiiiiit' or just kind of whispering it?
cpnglxynchos » neu1 years ago
i usually hear it as yelling.
but just now i imagined it going from whispering to a medium-loud voice and that works really nicely, too.
lucid » neu6 months ago
I hear it as a stressed whisper. The way he comes close to the mic, and the manner in which it is used - When you suddenly realise the terrible truth.
ohhhhhhh
shiiiiiiiiiiiit
rotavele » pro2 years ago
I always figured beefs poetry is because his grandma always told him everything was gonna make him die, like how he was scared to go in a lake in case there was an earthquake. So he writes about how a pepper mill has been fashioned into an explosive device.
greenkoolayd » neu9 months ago
i vote for this one. hes paranoid. like a mofo.
spinynorman » neu2 years ago
I had to sit through something like this once at a performance art gallery. Some asshat in a yellow bedsheet read about colors while a dude played a guitar with a cello bow. They had free beer though, and I wound up double fisting lager through the whole thing and started quietly beatboxing along to the song myself and didn't notice until I realized how mad everyone else in the bleachers looked.
Good times.
molesticide » neu2 years ago
dude i love to beatbox
nobody around me EVER loves that i beatbox
HOW COME
phthoggos » neu2 years ago
True.
gumfish » neu1 years ago
I love beatboxing, but I'm so crap at it. I can't make anything of it sound right, yet I still manage to use every opportunity I get to embarrass myself with it. Good fun.
biznart » neu5 months ago
Probably because they do not like to be spit upon and such.
laserblade » neu1 years ago
You are what I want to be when I grow up. Even though you're only half a decade older than me. Spiny Norman, you have lived.
clintisiceman » pro2 years ago
I just love how Ray took to time to copyright the poem he had just written that afternoon before going to perform it at open mic night.
twohundredninety » neu2 years ago
In the United States, at least, copyright is automatic. You don't even have to do anything. You can go to trouble to document priority or something if you really want, but all you have to do in order to own the copyright on something is make it.
clintisiceman » neu2 years ago
That is insane. I will insult the system to draw attention from my ignorance.
decagon » pro2 years ago
"water-clad nymphs" -> automatic 5
falseprophet » pro2 years ago
Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Also, when you cheat on them, they drown you with their prom dress.
tellumo » pro1 years ago
and then Ophelia and the Lady of Shalott giggle as they talk smack about you at lunch.
sirptom » pro2 years ago
I enjoy that Ray is wearing a pilgrim outfit to match his poem's title.
I wonder if Laszlo's is a reference to "Lazlo's Career" by Moxy Fruvous.
direhaggis » pro2 years ago
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring.
My car has been shot.
cpnglxynchos » neu1 years ago
oh that i had a chubby for you.
you being given my first virtual chubby in a long, long while.
layzerblade » neu5 months ago
So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
But not today.
My car has been shot.
apricotta » neu1 years ago
Ray is so upset he speaks in a smaller font, just like Beef.
mustakrakesh » neu1 years ago
I have to say that I have been down in the corners of my slice before, You have to break through Ray. A list of things that you are grateful for is always helpful.
cpnglxynchos » neu1 years ago
laszlo, or lazlow?
sp1derbaby » neu1 years ago
Lazlow... that's a clown's name. A stupid clown.
invidious » neu1 years ago
Lazlow, the clown with Down Syndrome!
carlyle » neu10 months ago
The Downs Clown.
The Downs Clown... Posse?
greenkoolayd » neu9 months ago
theyre the ones that wear make-up and talk about assaulting women, right?
Login to post a comment
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
(marked lame by Sakana, _cheesekayke, aperson)
(marked lame by littlecat, novacaine, giantants)
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
by R. Beef Kazenzakis
A hot dog is whipped meat
the skin yields a snap.
The flavor unmistakable
the condiments eternal.
Ketchup, mustard,
ground onions and kraut,
pepperoncini, tomato,
all flavor the snout.
But inside the foodstuff
a hidden ink pen
single-shot .45 Magnum
hidden in the pen.
OH SHIIIIIIIT
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
i just got hit by a very fast slow-pitch softball.
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
but just now i imagined it going from whispering to a medium-loud voice and that works really nicely, too.
Login to rate and reply to comments
ohhhhhhh
shiiiiiiiiiiiit
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Good times.
Login to rate and reply to comments
nobody around me EVER loves that i beatbox
HOW COME
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Also, when you cheat on them, they drown you with their prom dress.
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Ray: Treasure.
Today's Blogs
Philippe: I think a person died!
Onstad: [urlhttp://chrisonstad.blogspot.com/2005/04/first-words.html]First words[/url]
Login to rate and reply to comments
Onstad: First words
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring.
My car has been shot.
Login to rate and reply to comments
you being given my first virtual chubby in a long, long while.
Login to rate and reply to comments
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
But not today.
My car has been shot.
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
The Downs Clown... Posse?
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments
Login to rate and reply to comments