Sorry to be able to tell you this, but they're doing exactly that to fish in Taiwan.

The link is to a text story, but the story has a link to video of people eating a fish's body while the head is still alive. Somewhere else I saw a video of the actual cooking procedure, but I couldn't find that.

This is part of why I'm vegetarian.

Or maybe they do, but just in a way that's hard to care about.

Chubbied for "theoretical piscine aggression".

That's one of the most frightening things I've ever heard of.

TC Boyle wrote a very similar short story except about monkeys. monkey's brains.

And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C!

Chubbied for the avatar-comment synergy.

Nah, what makes great chicken?

Chicken
Grease
Salt

I always thought it was more poverty, gravy, and moonshine.

mmm, poverty

http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/01/28/huckabee-on-romneys-fried-chicken-moment/

oh shiiiiiit

I HATE that people fucking CARE about shit like this!! OH MY GOD!!!

You took something posted on Foxnews.com seriously? That's two strikes against its veracity before it even gets up to the plate.

With Ray's new outfit, I can't help but think that his shoulders are sort of hunched over, which just makes him seem even angrier. That and his eyebrows. Ray is normally such a laid-back guy, but when he gets worked up about something, man oh man.

hell yes. hell yes he does.

I am so glad people like you exist.

I don't mean to gush, but this is probably the best use of Acheworld photoshop ever. Just throw some good tits on that sucker and you may just break the 200 chubbies threshold.

Ah, the days before Edwell...

No offence Lonis. I'm sure you don't get all agitated when people compare your water-walking ability to that of Christ and such.

He never did break 200 chubbies....

187th chubby

I lamed you. I'm so sorry. I swear to god I didn't mean it. Someone chubby him for me.

damn laggy mouse :(

Done. We stand at 147/1, and that 1 is forgiven.

Thank you Pete Barry Chowka.

Chubby for avatar

THIS IS A HOMEBOY!

Thank god for Lonis Edison.

<3

jesus! I'm glad someone else spotted that.. coming soon:
"Mt fellow Americans, all I got out of public office is a cloth-coat wearing Republican Roast Beef and a stuffed otter called Phillipe".. the 'Phillipe Speech' they'll call it.. at least Ray's watergate will be fun.. breakin' into Democrat HQ cause they have hella crispy Stellas and such..

Higher office changes everyone. Imagine what it would do to Pat

Ray's so hardcore about his presidential bid, he's been reading the SAME paper for the last two days.

Takes hella chochachos...

And his eyebrows remain furrowed.

I think we've got our campaign slogan! "Ray Smuckles '08: Chickeny Chicken Again".

So when do the t-shirts go on sale? The California primary is in less than two weeks!

You'd have thought science could have faked the authentic taste of real chicken by now. Ideally, we would have some sort of extract we could add to any protein to make it taste like real chicken. Instead, the dismal science has led to cheap factory chicken that has no taste. This is one of the many ways that living in the future has been disappointing.

Hell yeah, all playing Russian Roulette with the one nugget that's all gristle and cartilage. Invariably it was the last nugget in the 20 piece, you knew it was the gristle bullet but couldn't help but eat it anyway...

i thought they looked more like a boot.

It all depends on your point of view, I suppose.

It is a solid fact that white meat tastes like crap. It is dry and thoroughly unpleasant. Dark meat only.

Hell yes, totally agree.

But that's why God gave us gravy!

The answer you seek is MSG

Please, science can't even fake the authentic taste of strawberry.

Your avatar, your comment... perfect.

Is so good. Is so funny. Read today!

You are right. I have been to the future and can tell you that you are correct.

(I have not really been to the future.)

For another impressive vision of the future try David Foster Wallace's 'Infinite Jest'. It's ominously whimsical but creepily convincing.

I believe you're looking for a "hen."

Ray in '08: He will straight up fry your ding dong, but he will not apologize.

Breaking News from the Smuckles campaign:

Beef is expensive and high in fat. Why don't you stop giving yourself sickness and eat some capon, like people used to do in this country.

He did, ma'am?

shoo-in?

Shoe-in?

Shoo-in.

yes.

As a french guy, i thought Ray would have more sensitive platform regarding meats. Veal is a forgotten meat, and lots of people are feeling that indignation.

Though, i'm pretty sure the Cilantro-ape ceviche comment will resurface at one point.

Actually i was implying that Ray was a french guy, like he stated in a couple of strips.

I'm actually a de-naturlized french-canadian, which makes these series of strips so poignant to me.

Palpable poignancy.

"Queblowme", remember? If Ray was really French or even Frenchish, that answer would have been different.

I 'm pretty sure you just got lamed for being French-Canadian.

And I got lamed even harder for not giving a damn about veal. This is important.

Yet somehow emerged from having a Reagan avatar unscathed

digdugz isn't Nicarauguan.

I'm Americarauguan.

To say nothing of the Al-Qaeda Cookbook. DHS will have a field day with that.

Ray is *SO* angry.

You cannot get chicken like Grandad made in Queblowme.

God damn, chickeny chicken really IS delicious.

He's got my vote.

I think this might work better with beef? Maybe not. This is why I'm not running for president.

I also think Ray's campaign would work better if he involved Beef. Oh wait - you meant...? I'm confused.

Whoah, hey, good point. I meant with cow meat rather than chicken meat. How did I not see the completely un-hilarious double-entendre there?

Tommorow's recipe: Chicken!

And the wisdom of Washington once again saves us all.

Under a certain light, Ray's robe makes him look like he has a gigantic rack.

A manly rack, to be sure.

Oh god. Once it is seen, it cannot be un-seen.

Or... his newspaper is licking him with an enormous tongue!

If you swap Roast Beef for Cornelius and reduce the font size, you will have yesterday's strip without Canada. Ray is essentially unchanged, panel by panel.

yeah, this...ugh. I don't know.

Well put, neonfreon. Your eloquent critique is really what brings me back here again and again.

My Grand-dad rarely fed us chicken. We ate good, honest venison and perch fried up with butter at his house. Sorry, Ray. I'm looking for a different kind of America.

Sounds like you're related to Nice Pete.

Political commentary appreciated, but not hilarious.

Ray can't become President.

He's a cat.

BLASPHEMY

You beat me to this comment, only I was going to add "Mormon or Baptist".

Clinton and Carter were both Baptist (Carter changed denominations since his presidency).

LEARNINATED!

Ah, damn, that didn't even occur to me!

See what we can accomplish when we all work together?

All through Ray's run for office he looks really pissed off. That's the face I wear every time this election is talked about.

I don't think Ray has ever had angrier eyebrows.

But, will he pull out of Iraq?

No, but there is a white phosphorus munition known as "shake and bake."

The reason we have not yet pulled out of Iraq is that President Bush has deep faith in condoms.

Hey, I guess that's another use for Molly's long condoms: To ensure that your country will not impregnate another country with a democracy.

I logged in at work just to chubby this.

Dammit, I was referring to Caddon's comment.

You got one chubby, and a lame. Does that count?

I'd say the results are inconclusive at this point. Yet science will answer this question eventually.

I was gonna copy Jerkcity text into the strip but I think this was a better experiment

A 17/4 chubby to lame ratio as of this posting. The photoshop-anything crowd seems to have spoken. The true test will be if Manflesh gets his shop on.

Well, that seemed to have worked out for you bnder.

Let me rephrase that.

Who the hell posts only so that they can get chubbies? It's a fine system for acknowledging that a person and their ideas are awesome, but mattfish seemed to be assuming it's the only reason anyone would post anything, to get as many people to give them positive attention. It's a good system, but it's not a damn contest.

While I don't think that many people post only to get chubbies, it certainly does seem like some people post just to get lames.

First.

Damn. The eerie silence of crickets chirping on violins which ignore my comment. Ain't I hot enough, ain't I rough enough, ain't I lame enough?

The people have spoken; you can do just anything in photoshop and expect chubbies. And it is just. As it reads, it could be a riff on food fetishism or Engrish. Genius!

ugh, no it can't it's just an excuse to talk about dicks

Chubbies are achewood commenting currency.

"Here's a chubby for your trouble, young lad"
"Thank you sir! Thank you for this great kindness!"

etc.

We are spring-loaded dogs eternally landing nickels and chubbies on our noses.

i can no longer read this strip normally without reading it as Ray actually saying this.

damn you.

Wait, I don't get it. Is Ray supposed to be, like, Asian or something?

I'm going to go on record as saying that this is correct. One in the eye for the beef lobby!

Your username raises this comment to an unprecedented level of perfection.

Ray's eyebrows are getting a workout this storyline.

I have never felt more like an American than while staying at a Motel 6. I can't remember if they actually left the light on for me, but, somehow, the promise was enough.

Marquis Lafayette.

God damn it. I ran out of chubbies.

I wish I could mine other strips that I did not feel so strongly about for chubbies to use on this page.

I often wish the same thing.

PS You and I are the same age and live in the same city. What if we secretly know each other in Real Life?

I don't secretly know anyone in real life. Do you mean coincidentally?

No, I pretty much meant secretly.

if i had any more chubbies that would get one. i might make that t shirt

Runner-up for this comment:
Do you think, maybe, when I'm looking at the sky, that you're looking up at the same Hoover Tower as me?

Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
We'll find one another
Somewhere out there
Out there by MemChu

(I mean, I think those are the lyrics, I haven't watched Fievel in a while.)

Swoon.

Doubly ironic that Motel 6 is ACTUALLY owned by a little company called ACCOR.

Irony is a literary or rhetorical device, in which there is a gap or incongruity between what a speaker or a writer says, and what is generally understood (either at the time, or in the later context of history)

Thank you.

A dude with a rubber ducky icon takes special pains to correct someone and call him an idiot, but is in fact incorrect and an idiot himself. Irony!

Another dude on the internet copies & pastes the definition of irony. kind of just for fun, not correctin' no one nor takin' a stance, just sayin', you know? Just sayin'.

You were correctin', but whatever. No cookies for you.

I'm pretty sure the Motel 6 I stayed in was in AMERICA. That's why everyone there was wearing blaze orange hunting pants and no shirts, sitting in the backs of their pick-up trucks, smoking cigarettes, and talking about things Larry the Cable Guy had said. Oh yeah, and they weren't speaking French, they were speaking AMERICAN.

Sony owns Columbia Pictures but you don't have to go to Japan to see a movie.

oh ok thanks

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

I know these people. I have lived among these people.

They were not speaking English.

Once more with feeling.

January: A month of festivities and misplaced grander [sic].

I'm pretty sure Ron Paul said everything in panel 6 in a recent Republican debate.

ROOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN


PAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

I wish I could chubby this just for the avatar/comment synergy, but I cannot.

Chubby, no. Bask in the congruity and the warm, just-did-a-shot-of-Jack feeling that all is right in the world? Yes, sir. Yes, sir, indeed.

How will he accomplish such a nostalgic flavor?

jesus what the hell is ray even wearing these days

Phillipe for America! :(

I think Molly may have some pointed questions for Ray regarding how germane The Ramones are to her wedding day playlist. This being an election year, I think all bets are off.

Yes, the Ramones are 'germane.' Did they teach you that word at Talk Like a Dick school?

We appreciate your honesty.

On one hand, it seems absurd, but all things considered, this level of insight isn't something I expect from Ray. It's both refreshing and unsettling.

I actually prefer the way this version ends. Cornelius' retort is cold, and at the same time, pitying.

And Ray's eyebrows as Cornelius says it! Too perfect.

A man, a plan, a chicken. Panama!

Taking a page from the Louis Sachar book of how to (re)write a story?
The amount of sense this still makes is a little disconcerting.

another 5

ray looks pissed off.

Just like the last one this strip is better when read backwards.

Oh my.

You are correct, sir.

or did it?

Dude, stop it! Are you trying to summon Cthulhu?!

Ia! Ia! Ray Smuckles Fthagn!

Ahhh, chicken. Ray really knows what the American people want.

Ray Smuckles '08
Tomorrow's recipe is Chicken.

Tomorrow's recipe is still chicken

Tomorrow's recipe: a Spatchcock Chicken Supper

By reading, I gather that only a very few really had a good honest roasted chicken with trimmings stuffed in the can of that chicken. This is sad. Try it, you will cast presidential vote in favor.

Some of the worst political decisions have been made when people just won't leave you the hell alone to read your damn newspaper while wearing the house coat Dennis Quaid wore in As Good As It Gets.

Hopefully Ray will buck this trend.

Ray's turning into an asshole.

Well, he is a politician now.

manflesh.

Where is he.

MAAAAAAN-FLESSSSH! ; (

Don't you get it? Manflesh IS the San Diego Chicken! He couldn't possibly comment now, without a massive conflict of interest.

..And if he's not, don't tell me.

Horatio is in some way connected with the San Diego Chicken... but you don't want to know any more than that.


Believe me you reeeeally don't want to know.

You got a laugh! Chubby for you to put on the helm of the Vingilot.

um, i'm not sure how much everyone in the heavenly realms would like that...

I don't like this "angry Ray". He might be self-assured and whatnot but there's no need to be ruuude to his friends.

The Journalist Touched A Nerve.

And come on. It's not like he's being a cock to a stranger.

Guys, this arc is terrible. It is like the local Ford dealership making totally topical commercials at their normal volume and taste level where the People Choose. It is like an Arbys commercial where the kind of anodyne, bloodless 'political discussion' they have in newspaper comics turns out to be about the five-for-five Ar-B-Qs versus the Market Fresh Sandwiches.

I don't know what Onstad is aiming for here, but the general vibe is like Garrison Keillor trying to hit on a visibly aging riot grrl: uncomfortable; unfunny; and monstrously unsexy. Reruns would be better. For the love of God, can we please have a punchline or put this shit to bed.

P.S.: Living in a hyper-service-industry-capitalist swing state means I have to deal with the asinine pseudo-political ads a few months before you. Maybe the punchline is Chris gets this shit in your head and then the third separate commercial in which the Hamburglar accuses Ronald McDonald of being a Muslim is going to make you throw yourself through plate glass. And you'll have deserved it for rating this shit a five. It wouldn't even deserve a 3 if it weren't almost at a 4.

I had no idea Ronald McDonald was a Muslim!

The punchline is actually, "Creative re-use of panels"

Ray Smuckles/Jim Perdue '08

Perhaps, but I miss Frank.

[IMGS OFF]

It took a tough man to make a tender chicken.

What is this strip doing with anything below a 4?
3.7s are reserved for flowcharts, guest strips and lengthy text entries. I thought we all had an agreement on this.

writing in november 2008, looking back on this comment, it's as if onstad knew

This strip has not ben transcribed and i am mad as figs about it. It also hasn't been listed among the other ones in need of transcription.