King Piss!

King Piss! 10/19/2005 « prev 1st rand curr next »

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I mean, he's just SLAMMING that piss down his throat!

And he looks so furious as he does it, as if everybody has been lying to him up to this point as to what he's been eating and drinking. He will not wait another moment to eat dinosaur eggs and drink king piss.

As soon as Philippe heard the word "king," everything following it became a mere hushed buzzing sound.

Well more like the sound of static, a sort of pshhhhhh sound if you will.

or... pisssssssssssssssssss?

I wonder if Onstad actually uses this technique in real life.

Easily top five material. Angry eating gets me every time.

Eating and the combination of any strongly expressed emotion, is golden

Like the piss of Kings

hmmm would the piss of kings be truly golden, like gold metal gold, or golden like the golden color of people's piss only more golden. I'm thinking it must be metallic gold . . . it MUST BE

This is because Kings only drink that booze with gold flecks in it

aww yeah, classy as hell

Goldschl�ger

Enjoy, then.

wtf!?

What he's eating:
A banana

What he's crying about:
This damned banana

it's great seein Phillipe act like a total brat 5 year old...and then think he's drinking a glass of piss. I would laugh if all Achewood strips ended this way.

I'd have to say Phillipe is a good kid. But even he's a brat sometimes. This was good to see.

Like Nemo waking up from a nightmare in every strip?

Gasp! ARBLE GABBLE GLUG GLUG GLUG!

ARBLE GABBLE GOBBLE GREEBLE is some all-time great onomatopeia.

I gave this one a 5 based on 'GREEBLE' alone.

Did Greeble shoot first?

Han shot first!

you sir, are INCORRECT

I meant this in response to mastronaut, not soticoto. Curse my fingers of fury.

Of course Han shot first. I can never forgive myself.

Obi-Wan forgives you.

Agreed. You can keep your om nom nom, I'll stick with my arble bargle and friends.

This strip adequately explains how to deal with 5 year olds. It should be included in most parenting manuals and instructional videos related to children.

one thing that never works is convincing them it is something they want to eat, like
kid "what IS this?"
me "it is ice cream/chocolate/plain cheese on bread"
kid "nuh unh" (thorws meal on floor)

never tried the magical/prehistorical angle though.

I told my little brother a chicken drumstick was chocolate. He bought it.

Apparently, my parents had to literally force me to try ice cream when I was little. (Guess what? I liked it!)

I love(d) dinosaurs when I was growing up, and my dad used to tell me that brocolli was little trees and also what dinosaurs ate.

How many times was it stated that Philippe was 5?

If someone comes up to you in the street and tells you they're 5.... and then you meet them again 2 years later... are they still 5?

Only if they say they are.

No one needs to say that Philippe is five.

He is five.

No amount of speech, or even an actual awareness of how many calendar years have passed, can change that.

He is five.

Someone should get Philippe one of those badges with a big 5 on it... like I had when I was 5.

At Hobby Lobby, they sell ribbons that say "I can dress myself!"

I bought one when I was a sophomore in high school and gave it to my friend as a present. It was the Saddest Thing.

Anybody remember those Klaymation videos on newgrounds.com by Knox? Back in the day? In one a clay man tries to convince another clay man that they are brothers. He shows him a picture of their house from when they were little and it's a Hobby Lobby. I never knew it was an actual store and just died laughing everytime.

I know, hilarious.

I used to work at the Hobby Lobby warehouse. I detest, nay,loathe, Hobby Lobby now and refuse to shop there anymore.

I wouldn't shop at a place called Hobby Lobby. And here I thought hair salons had the corner on Bad Names (A Cut Above, BarberElla, etc)

i see you also were an awesome toddler with many friends, as i was. they had to pry that fucking thing off me once i wasn't five no more. PRY.

They had to pry my 5 badge away as well... but that was because I kept trying to perform acupuncture on the other kids.

You consider a five-year-old a toddler? As far as I'm concerned, a toddler is three at the oldest.

hey, look who's being a dick about terms!

Or just being correct.

Someone might say that he is not five, but he will just sit there being five and they will be wrong.

If they are Philippe then yes

This is the best alt text that has ever appeared on any picture on the internet, ever.

I just see your avatar and automatically read the alt text you quoted as "THIS! IS! ACHEWOOD!"

I just think "IT'S NOT A TOOMAH"

This was the first strip I read, and it was indeed the alt text, combined with the furious look on Phillipe's face that got me hooked.

There is actually a very strong link between diet and aggression. Junk food makes you angry and depressed. Philippe really needs a cool glass or two of king piss to chill him the fuck out.

liebot makes a wonderful parent

Yes. For once Lie Bot uses his powers for good.

Lie Bot lies neither for good nor evil.

Lie Bot just lies.

ARBLEGABBLEGOBBLEGREEBLEARBLEGABBLEGOBBLEGREEBLEARBLEGABBLEGOBBLEGREEBLEARBLEGABBLE OBBLEGREEBLE

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

is it Friday already?

I completely get what you are saying. As soon as I saw this strip my first thought was "Wow, what a wonderful nod to Waterson":

... and it made me love Achewood even more.

Damn. One more time:

My apologies, I'm kida new to commenting on here.

I give up, you all get the idea. I welcome the much deserved lames.

'streaming-tears' philippe is my highlight.

all

"getting yelled at while dying of starvation, APPARENTLY"

Ahh. Once the conventional wisdom, but lately refuted.

Philippe's furiously crying face cracks me up every time.

There was a plum wine called "Kings Kiss" at the restaurant I went to last night. I misread it as "King Piss" and was all up to order me a glass until someone pointed out my mistake.

Chubby for you and whoever it was vigilant enough to make certain that his friend imbibes nothing but the best royal bodily fluids.

I wonder which is preferable, starvation or diabetes?

You wonder this, do you? You wonder if diabetes is worse than starvation? And you are writing us.... from history?

from circumstances.

Am i the only one who imagines liebot talking like Mitch Hedburg?

not for me, I am guessing because I do not equate machines with marijuana

lie-bot's voice is going to have a lot more metal in it than mitch's

Not anymore.

For some reason, I can't help but hear LieBot's voice as sounding like Bugs Bunny. I think it's the gloves and (I don't know why) the glasses.

lie bot using his powers for good

This is, hands down, my favorite Achewood strip. The first time I read it was at work, when I was employed as a bank teller. I was laughing so hard I was crying (and I mean tears all just STREAMING down my face), all the while trying not to attract too much attention to myself.

Lie bot uses his powers for good!

'King piss' sounds like the name of a really cheap beer to me. The kind that you drink on Sunday morning, when it is still Saturday night and you don't give a damn what gets pumped down your throat, so long as it's not alive

Still Saturday night *for* you, anyway

says i gave out too many chubbies :-(
but i'm glad to hear that i'm not the only fuckin person who does this

King piss is necessary for a growing boy to develop strong bones, healthy teeth, and an efficient parliament.

There was a popcorn place I worked at which carried an ugly variety of ornange and green popcorn. It contained no distinct flavour, just overly sweet. We sold it to the kids as "Barney" popcorn, even after Barney had been taken from the air, and it was the first to sell. It just goes to show you can sell anything when choosing the right label for your demograph! In this case, we had to ensure the kids knew it was Dino eggs and Kings piss. Sold!

But... Barney is purple.

May have been their built-in sugar meters sensed the prescence of sweetness despite the name!

Tuesday Blogs

Onstad: Have you ever been so tired that your head got really hot?

Today's Blogs

Lyle: sfucking good wewekned

Todd shoots someone.

So then the remaining vegetables on Phillipe's plate are edible tractors?

No, they're clumps of stuff that have fallen out of the treads of tractor tires.

I've done this since I was little and I still do it all the time. If I don't feel like eating some vegetables I just pretend I'm a dinosaur, and they're little people trying to run away. It always works.

I MUST DESTROY THOSE DINOSAUR EGGS!

KINGS PISS?! THIS DOES NOT BELONG IN A GLASS!

My parents told me that baby potatoes were actually dinosaur eggs. I knew dinosaurs didn't exist anymore, but logic be damned! I still gobble greeble them

A time-honored technique observed by many parents

The fact of the matter is that more times than not, Lie Bot uses his powers for good.

Lie Bot does not lie for good or evil. Lie Bot lies.

I need an uncle or someone like Lie Bot

Great alt text or the greatest alt text?

From The Bartender's Handbook:

King Piss
3 oz. carrot juice
2 oz. red bull
2 oz. ketel one

Top 5 strip. Nothing can top the otter's furious eating.

I'm surprised more people didn't find humor in Lie Bot's implication that until recently we as a society believed that children liked getting yelled at while starving.

I can just picture Teodor's frustrated tone of voice, followed by Lie Bot's wistful sigh as he says "Ah, once the conventional wisdom, but lately refuted."

DC

P.S. This is my first Achewood comment ever. The magic begins now.