Philippe's Birthday  08/22/2005 « prev 1st rand curr next »




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akarroa » neu 1 years ago
You mean Bob Barker?
ajesteronly » neu 1 years ago
I just gave you your one hundredth chubby.

You're welcome.
mira » neu 2 years ago
he's five.
mortshire » pro 2 years ago
HE IS FIVE.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
... Six?
jlynes » neu 2 years ago
NO.

FIVE.
baryonyx » neu 2 years ago
Five he was, Five he is, and Five he is yet to be.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
Has Five been redefined?
bjorntd » neu 1 years ago
No.

Just no.

That is wrong on levels that I don't care to get into right now. Suffice it to say that you are wrong, and I think less of you.
all-star951 » neu 8 months ago
I would give you a chubby except you have 5 chubbies and 5 lames, and I don't want to ruin it. PLEASE NO ONE RUIN THE BEAUTY.
phantomsword » neu 2 months ago
It..It has been ruined...*sob*
engus » neu 1 months ago
Don't fret, balance has been restored.
deus » neu 10 months ago
Its stuff like this that makes the assetbar 100 times better then 4chan.
mangtastic » neu 4 months ago
Only 100? More like one hundred hundreds of times better. Than again, any negative integer multiplied by a positive one is will always be negative. What I am saying is that 4chan has a negative value for being better or worse than basically anything.

Also someone lamed you, I assume it is for even mentioning that place. I cannot say I completely disagree with them.
achtung » neu 3 months ago
more like over 9000 times
saint » neu 2 years ago
you are fundamentally gone in the head.
you insult Phillipe, and Achewood will send you to Hell.
cpnglxynchos » neu 2 years ago
..and then it's just a quick drive to Friendly's and their bathroom and FLOOSH! they're back.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
Those who do not understand Achewood will never understand the riddle in the menu... and instead are doomed to hang around out back with No-No for eternity.

cpnglxynchos » neu 2 years ago
dag. you're right.
feetnotes » neu 1 years ago
Surely not. Trouble-Man and No-No hang out in Heaven.
carlyle » neu 9 months ago
And stare on as it just kinda burns down.
layzerblade » neu 8 months ago
Well, just the one apartment building in Heaven.
greenkoolayd » neu 7 months ago
you must be retarded.....
lolsworth » neu 1 months ago
Why are you doing this

Why are you attacking a five year old child otter

WHAT MAKES YOUR HEART SO BLACK
saint » neu 2 years ago
i don't know...beef made it pretty believable. when my mother was giving birth to me, my father tells me she screamed "oh god man this is so WAAAACKY!" too.
unclesma » neu 1 years ago
Chubbied if only for the way you were born.
vweep » neu 1 years ago
And all this time I thought you'd just congened in a gutter somewhere.
johnnyrocker » neu 1 years ago
Congealed. See, that's the problem with quoting tv shows: sometimes you are an idiot.
selbencoirlo » neu 10 months ago
Because the consensus is that Ultra Peanut is mistaken and quite possibly a bitch.
selbencoirlo » neu 10 months ago
I very much had to increase my lame threshold just to see this. I increased it to 50 and then was surprised when it still didn't show up. I am pleased with going to this much trouble because now I get to contribute the 78th lame. Yayyyyyy!
vondicus » neu 3 months ago
And with that, I ceremonially give your hundredth chubby. The circle is complete; you are officially the retard.
vondicus » neu 3 months ago
I mean your hundredth lame. I have fallen upon my own sword.
fineoakstructure » neu 1 months ago
Hoisted with your own retard petard?
andyk » pro 2 years ago
my friends printed this strip out for me on my birthday... it holds special significance forevermore.
userbeliever » neu 1 years ago
what, No!
the christmas punch is the saddest thing.
http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuabrnRCw
dropkickpikachu » pro 2 years ago
"OH GOD MAN THIS IS SO WAAAACKYYYYY" just slays me.
andrew_ » pro 2 years ago
that, and when Roast Beef says, "oh crud man wish me luck"

I hope my wife says that to me before she goes into labor.
rad_chillies » neu 2 years ago
I wish I could give you another chubby. And please, please tell your wife to say that. Also request "OH GOD MAN THIS IS SO WACKYYYY"
tangles » neu 1 years ago
this strip makes me feel conflicted. i can't help but laugh, but i can't help but think that ray and beef would've scarred any normal five year old for life... especially because beef was a hermaphrodite. too much weirdness, but i can't look away
hyetal » pro 2 years ago
Nah, the best line is Ray telling Beef, "You just went into labor!" That this has to be pointed out to him is the... ...I can't think of a way to end this sentence. I want to say something like "the bomb" only not so lame and tired. But you know what I mean.
ford » neu 1 years ago
"freaking hilarious"

also, "goddamned awesome"
lux » neu 1 years ago
That's the goddamned awesome.

I thank you for this new bit of vernacular, ford!
waddlerz » neu 1 years ago
No, the best line is Ray asking Philippe if its okay to for Roast Beef to have a baby in Ray's room
ted0phile » neu 1 years ago
This.
never_die » neu 2 years ago
It is sort of creepy how Ray asks if Philippe is okay with Beef giving birth in Ray's room.
jhunter » neu 1 years ago
"I mean we could do it somewhere else if you're not cool with it"
ljuke » pro 2 years ago
Roast Beef's face is priceless.
jesler729 » neu 2 years ago
Oh man look at that compassion in the last panel.
johnnyelectrifying » neu 2 years ago
considering phillipe is five, that gift hit the nail on the head. well played.
relaxing » neu 2 years ago
Who says good things never happen to the little shaver.
tombsgrave » pro 2 years ago
Male pregnancy is also a fetish.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
Doug Winger.
trollcollins » neu 2 years ago
Sometimes I think everything conceivable is a fetish if you google hard enough.

Siiiiigh.
saru » neu 2 years ago
Including hot Google pr0n.
Don't believe me, [url=www.google.com]Google[/url] it. C'mon, Google it hard... SO hard.
killerlimpet » neu 1 years ago
Yeah my high school content filter didn't cacth pr0n. Hilarious!
mega_panda » neu 2 years ago
if I ever get married and have a kid it will only be on the condition that my wife describes birthing the child as "wacky."
1000hz » neu 2 years ago
I got the Mickey Mouse Memory game as a birthday present when I was real young. Only, it wasn't my birthday, it was my older sister's birthday. I got a present for my sister having a birthday.

That is rad.
ging » neu 2 years ago
When I was boy my brother once got a present on my birthday. 7 months later I demanded similar courtesy and was scolded, my parents apparently having completely forgotten their earlier transgression. This left a deep impression upon me.
philosophe » pro 2 years ago
It must have, seeing as how you are now female.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
You were not the favourite child.
heccibiggs » neu 2 years ago
I don't know if it was intentional or not that you wrote "When I was boy" rather than "When I was a boy".

Either way, it made me read your entire comment in a Russian accent.
fuzzyshoo » neu 1 years ago
^This is a rad comment.

For rest of today, I read comments in theeck Russian accent. PRAVDA!
patiently56 » pro 2 years ago
This is the one that started it all for me.
letterswewrote » pro 2 years ago
I love Ray and Beef for doing this. Particularly the idea of how they came up with this as a way to surprise Phillipe.
joeyramoney » neu 2 years ago
this is how we do christmas at my house.
lereya » neu 2 years ago
Fuck yes.
pitseleh » neu 2 years ago
I concur!
tekende » pro 2 years ago
Philippe concurs angrily.
lereya » pro 2 years ago
Also, sorry for the double post, but Beef's face while watching Philippe's contentment makes my heart go all gooey.
phthoggos » pro 2 years ago
Beef's :3 face always warms my cockles.
doomchild » pro 10 months ago
My cockles are burning.
closefriend » pro 2 years ago
One time my ex-fiancee confided in me that she loves cats so much she wishes she could give birth to them instead of kids. I shit you not.

Guess what this strip reminds me of every time I read it!
hyetal » neu 2 years ago
Kitten's got to have a collar, too, let's not forget that.

...

I'm sorry, I'll go take a cold shower now before I get further carried away.
tonyhighwind » pro 1 years ago
If made to choose, I would take the collar over the ears.

But not over the butt plug with a tail attached to the end.
art-vader » neu 5 months ago
cats don't wear no butt plugs with tails. At least most cats don't...
art-vader » neu 5 months ago
his woman all gnawing on a dead bird in bed...
alittlenothing » pro 2 years ago
I would totally have kids if I could give birth to goats instead of humans. Cats..eh.
lux » neu 1 years ago
...goats?
tekende » neu 1 years ago
A baby goat is called a kid.
drskradley » neu 2 years ago
I, too, would rather have kittens instead of kids. It's a bit weird, I'll grant you, but damn little kitties are cute. Babies - sorry all you mothers out there, but they're a bit boring.
slalvation » neu 2 years ago
Also, kittens are smaller.
cpnglxynchos » neu 2 years ago
and you can leave them alone for most of the day and not get arrested.
tekende » pro 2 years ago
And you can drop them and they'll be okay. Babies, not so much.
tekende » neu 2 years ago
On the other hand, babies don't have claws...
awko » neu 1 years ago
But they have those tiny razor-like nails.
spicyponyhead » neu 11 months ago
But babies don't learn to use the litterbox for well over a year. Net win goes to kittens.
soticoto » neu 2 years ago
I've used up my Chubby Allotment... So I will grant you one in essence only...

Kittens FTW.
Who the heck would want a screaming human maggot when they could have a cute little mewing fluffball instead?
wonelove » pro 1 years ago
the cake is a LIE
tonyhighwind » con 1 years ago
Off the top of my head? People who are allergic to cats.

Oh, yeah, and people who want to propogate the species. If I raise one smart kid it cancels out one dumb kid, and the world moves that much closer to balance.

deusoma » neu 2 years ago
Also, distinctly unlike human young, I have never seen a picture of a living kitten that was not intensely adorable. With the singular and notable exception of the one that was born with one big eye like a cyclops.
heccibiggs » neu 1 years ago
This one?

[IMGS OFF]

noooooooooooooo
deusoma » neu 1 years ago
Oh God. That's the one.
tinhand » neu 1 years ago
Is that real? Does the eye work?
...
I want one.
heccibiggs » neu 1 years ago
It is real, it's like a very rare deformity where something has one eye in place of where it's nose should be. No idea if the eye actually worked or not.

Note my use of the past tense... It died like a day and a half after it was born. Like, outrageously tragic, right?
deusoma » neu 1 years ago
It does indeed fill me with an intense sadness.
tekende » neu 1 years ago
It fills me with intense relief.
deusoma » neu 1 years ago
I meant the poor thing's entire truncated existence, not the fact that it died. I wouldn't want it to live for the sole purpose of being alive, so in that I freely agree with you.
jonmw » neu 1 years ago
AUGH
UNMAKE IT
heccibiggs » neu 1 years ago
Take it up with God.
skavid » neu 1 years ago
Chubby for Cy the Cyclops Kitten. It's sad that it died a day and a half after it was born.
nicolae » pro 2 years ago
I bet Phillipe was a little disappointed that it wasn't a baby. A little.
jonnay » neu 2 years ago
The things they do for Philippe rock. I wish this happened to me on my birthday.

PS. Onstad rocks at drawing Philippe's innocent little emotions.
norrin » neu 2 years ago
So would this be his 4th birthday? Or is it just assumed they are all his 5th?
sexualhomeboy » neu 2 years ago
PHILLIPE IS FIVE.
sexualhomeboy » neu 2 years ago
PHILIPPE IS FIVE WHETHER I CAN SPELL HIS NAME OR NOT.
joeyramoney » neu 2 years ago
how is philippe retarded?
quinlaenar » neu 1 months ago
Oh god oh god your avatar is staring at me and asking that question... Um... You aren't. Every child marries flowers because a lying robot told them to.

*bursts into tears* I just couldn't do it, man...
thegrayhoodie » pro 2 years ago
Is SO good.
Is SO funny.
mindbnder » neu 2 years ago
this is my favorite achewood strip. those cats are so legitimate. Also, will people stop calling Philippe retarded. He's five and how fucking often do you need to be told that?
quantumcasaba » neu 2 years ago
And with this strip in particular, is a male cat giving birth to a board game really that much more ridiculous than a giant rabbit sneaking into one's house and hiding (of all things) eggs and candy all about?

Maybe it is.
:shrug:
cynthiamonster » pro 2 years ago
"he's havin' his baby in my room. Are you okay with that?"
presterjohn » pro 2 years ago
I suspect hell of jays were burned in the preparation of this scheme.
qingofchina » neu 2 years ago
I don't think Philippe ever realized it was a ruse.
agentstinky » pro 2 years ago
Roast Beef yelling "OH GOD MAN THIS IS SO WAAAACKYYYYY" is probably my favorite panel in all of Achewood.
xiaomimi » neu 2 years ago
Today's Blogs

Mr. Bear: Small clay statue.
Onstad: The day's work is done.
comrade_tom » neu 1 years ago
The hairnet is to prevent hairs infecting the memory machine.

Kermit is VERY PARTICULAR about this.
direhaggis » pro 1 years ago
The birthday surprise is priceless.

I wonder why it wasn't Ray who got the giving birth gig. The gentleman clearly is packing hella cold pounds in the comparison to Roast Beef.
pogo » pro 1 years ago
One night I dreamt I was giving birth, and woke up with a sleeping cat between my legs.
videocrime » pro 1 years ago
this is the best way to get gifts, ever.
inthewater » pro 1 years ago
This strip doesn't half tug on the heartstrings.
bpmead » pro 1 years ago
I get the sense that this charade was more for Ray's and Beef's benefit than Phillippe's.
rowan » pro 1 years ago
I love this one so much I laugh so hard every time I re-read it
bumpishound » neu 1 years ago
IS IT CROWNING BEEF?
kikineko » neu 1 years ago
Oh I hope Philippe knows that men still cannot bear children from this experience... or presents.
wonelove » neu 1 years ago
I am doing this for a friend sometime.
nyl » pro 1 years ago
,>BEST->BIRTHDAY->EVER-
| |
`-----<----------<------'
skavid » neu 1 years ago
Philippe's Birthday is the day after mine! We should totally have a joint birthday party one time!
Displaying all 139 comments