When Best Friends Talk

When Best Friends Talk 11/02/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Ray's not sure where he stands on kings.

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It is why James Brown is the King of Soul. He is ridiculous.

Although I would like to see a King James Brown version of the Bible.

Clearly, this will be longer than the Quail Bible.

- flapping my snack gob like there's no tomorrow.

Hell of chubbies, yo!

Hardest working Creator in Creation.

Are you Alternate Universe Me?

I don't see a goatee, can't be.

It's actually a Star Trek reference, which has been referenced pretty much everywhere else, with ever-diminishing satirical value. Most people who reference alternate universe goatees think that it is a South Park reference. And, for them, it is.

I probably should have said "mirror universe." No confusion, then.

I love this llama chain.

Oddly, I think mr_pete was the first one to register, then me. Not sure about peterjoel...

Not sure either. But I changed my avatar for the week in question just to make the conversation interesting.

Maybe I'm just a sad person that nobody could love.

Sounds like a sex position. After the 69, we moved into the llama chain. I couldn't hold back any more.

i'm pretty sure sealab had a goatee'd set of bizarro characters too

I read that as "goatse" rather than "goatee." Damn you, Internet!

huh, what?

GAH! Dear James Brown!

Fine avatar. I'd shake your hand but I fear a massive release of energy and mutual annihilation.

llama

The llamas are not what they seem.

The llama is a lie.

Maybe ju an' him is AMIGOS!

sex machine!

the assetbar-URL-function-bbcode-bullshit is pretty much the bane of achewood enjoyers (not readers, one enjoys achewood) everywhere

I refuse to believe that, after a long line of llama icons, your duck icon is a coincidence.

I like the idea that God is called 'that Guy' in the James Brown Bible.

Well, based on the Blues Brothers I'd say there's actually some pretty good possibility that this is true.

of assholes?

Yes. Of assholes.

Well, if nobody challenges your supremacy and you are able to maintain your position against all who do then you are king.

People often fail to acknowledge how street gangs accurately represent pre-modern politics in many ways. Except for a lack of primogeniture that is.

I love how thoughtful is Ray's approach to punching hell of suckers in the mouth.

That there is a stock-takin' stance, much along the same lines of a will-readin' tie.

I don't get it

Read the alt text.

I GET IT

biff and dirtyantaeus' avatars are strangely similar... this amuses me

this amuses me greatly

You might wanna dip into our llama supply, then.

They punched hell of suckas in the mouth and whenever Michelle wrapped her legs around King's face to bodyslam him he said "Baby I love you lay me down and touch me sweet."

But Nina was not about no suckas with jaguar grills.

Of course kings were raw. That's why five-year-olds like drinking their piss.

cause all the 5-year-olds these days are macro-vegetarians.

No, they are obstinate.

word.

This was never mentioned in history class.

My disappointment with the educational system is intense.

Of course it was not mentioned in history class. Schools are exactly designed to keep dudes from becoming kings . Your school knew your potential all too well. You could have been a king. But they didn't want you to be. You should kill them all

This is why home schooling is such a problem

Right, because there's no environment that produces more confident adults capable of straight up telling chicks that you like them than home school.

Homeschool kids are so timid they won't even straight up tell pets they like them. All leaving coy notes by the litterbox.

Not kingly.

As some homeschooled kid:
I straight up don't like you and punch you in the mouth, somehow.

Next time someone punches you in the mouth: it is from me. Quietly. I swear it.

Alternate scenario to homeschooling:

Little psychopaths who eat the pets that they like.

Peta may want think about their stance on homeschooling. All I'm saying, man.

As some homeschooled kid:
hahaha yeah totally

but I got to finish all my schoolwork by noon then go outside and play

who do you think had a happier childhood

Samuel H. Invisible.

god damn you are raw

Your lack of punctuation makes me question the quality of your home-schooling. Less time playing, more time schooling.

hey my MOM taught me, and she thinks I'm cool. That makes me cool, right guys?

right?

She's your mother, she has to.

uh... the kids who got to play with other kids?

The dog I like.

Completely unrelated chubby for your FFXII reference. BASCH LIVES! ... Sorry. I just got the game the other day.

it's pretty much straight up impossible to become a king these days.

You are just not trying hard enough.

is ray sure where he stands on analogies?

yes, they are either way stupid or way smart.... no in betweens EVER.

Yes, analogies are akin to a King, who is either alive, or dead. The King is never half-dead.

The people in history knew this. When they said, "The King is dead--long live the King!" they were espousing the theory of Schrodinger's King.

The purely quantum theory of kings, however, doesn't take into account their usefulness for long-distance communication. As Terry Pratchett (who has already been cited once on this thread) once said, it is possible, by the carefully applied torture of a minor king, to send messages via the amount of kingship passed on to his heir.

Political humor. Nice.

I'm not political, but I couldn't resist:
[IMGS OFF]

It was subtle political satire, playing on the fact that Bush's actions have far outstripped his actual power as president.

Am I really getting lamed because people thought I didn't understand this? Come on people, benefit of the doubt.

C'mon, Ray, you know this! This is how you Become the Ruling Party, dude.

The reincarnation of Ludwig II was in my shop class. After a while they sent him to the separate high school which was located on the far edge of the parking lot of the real high school and which was actually just a mobile home with bars on the windows. That guy was raw.

It's out. The big secret is out. I've spent the last several years becoming a teacher and now I'm mere weeks away from graduation and certification. Last Thursday night, my professors showed up at my door wearing black robes, threw a burlap sack over my head, bound my feet and hands, shoved me into the trunk of their car and drove me out into the middle of a forest. Chained to a tree, they took turns beating me about the face and neck with a Ceremonial Rod. At the end, one of them approached me, made sure I was fully conscious, looked deep in my eyes and said, "You will not, under any circumstances, let them become kings. You will not. Then they hung a dead rabbit wearing a little purple robe and scepter around my neck and left me there for the rangers to find in the morning.

The Aristocrats!

I am so applying for a job as a park ranger.

i tend to prefer sultans, actually. talk about luxury. harems, narghiles, dozens of warring heirs, flying carpets. yeah, man, FUCK kings.

We would save a lot of money on separate high schools if we just went back to the poison analogy. Those crazy dudes aren't clever enough to use food tasters.

Starting QB all getting a mouthful of belladonna on Meatloaf Mondays.

Ray swings the hell out of his arms when he walks.

He's sliding across a wooden floor in socks. This has been shown before, but I'm too lazy to dig up a link.

I choose to take this literally.

towl is going off all Todd style.

"IT'S F-F-F-FUCKING CHARLIE BROWN GODDAMN PLEBIANS!"

looks more like Leo Fontanette

I forgot about Leo. Towl is going to drive all over some corn.

so if Jesus was king of kings...does that essentially make him the rawest dude in history?

Dunno, but he sure picked a hell of a food-taster.

The guy could turn water into wine. Any man who can produce free alcohol on demand is raw

He definitely did a number on those money-changers on the steps of the temple. Dunno about the whole taliing to ladies thing, though. When he told them he loved them, they might have just taken it as that platonic sort of Christ-y love.

*talking

He hell of talked to ladies so hard, he knocked one of them up without even touching her. raw

Wait, no, that was his Dad or something. That's what I get for being an Athiest, and only using a Bible to cut the pages out and hide stuff in.

RETURN OF THE BIGFOOT WALK

Kings are actually real mean. Most of us woulda got our heads chopped off if we were from history.

I'm glad I live in the future, then.

At least we will have known how to dress in the proper attyre of footballe before we went out.

I no like-a the kings. When I was younger, sure, ok, but now? Not so much.

It might be? I don't know; I think I just did a google image search and taken it. If it is, sorry! :D

The title for this strip is perfect, because regardless of how intelligent (or not) you are, this is exactly how you and your best friend(s) talk, and you know it.

Yes. YES!

this statement could not be any truer

Donning his blogging crown, the wealthy cat must open a blank text document on his computer and come to a decision regarding whether or not he likes kings.

"Schools are exactly designed to keep dudes from becoming kings"

It's true you know

Dude, you linked to a page that uses Comic Sans!!!

That is Acheworld heresy!!!

I am aware of the Irony

straight up aware

Damn, I think we just got ComicSansrolled.

Hell of a read.

I'm going to go ahead and regard this one as "classic." It is chief among the classics, but it is a classic.

you could say it was a ... king among comics

I could. Indeed, I could.

A raw comic..gosh i just get chills thinking about it.

all telling other comics that it straight up likes them, like maybe cathy or something.

Cathy will have this comic's retarded baby. Marmaduke will taste that baby's food.

And Garfield will cold have its peter in his mouth.

Man this strip illustrates why I dropped out of school. I kept trying to be a king but the man was always keeping me down.

I showed them though. No one is King of the Deep Fryers like I am. No one.

No one except... the Burger King.

Please accept this reason why I cannot give you a chubby.
[IMGS OFF]

this feels like classic Achewood. i've been a little wary of the onstad output lately, but this was pretty much just all good.

when in doubt, ray takes stock.

Genius.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I'd really like a king if I ever met one.

I've been reading Achewood for a couple months now, and I've just registered a couple minutes ago because I needed to give this strip a 5. This defines Achewood. Heart to Onstad.

Damn, I love that last panel. Any of those times you're walking with a friend, deep in conversation about some similar epic topic, and you must stop to ponder in place. The hand gestures make it perfect.

This ruins my checkers.

Terry Pratchett once said, or rather this is as best as I can remember it, "Something in the human brain keeps going back to 'Kings--what a great idea!' ...Whatever designed human beings gave them a critical flaw: a tendency to bend at the knees."

Mister Vimes says a chubby for you, sir!

Hooray for the Patrician! Vetinari, truly, is the rawest dude of them all.

Oh damn and hell yes

this is the kind of comic that makes me think... what did i do before i knew about achewood? did i laugh at stuff? what kind of things were funny to me?

sex machine!

The best Achewood I've seen in a while. So. Dang. Awesome.

Man, Ray really swings his arms when he walks

Very well put.

Hilarious. I'm hoping this is a return to form.

It's good to see beef sporting the old shirt-and-tie combo.

On the subject of old-school roast beef, has anyone else noticed that "such as" has dropped out of his sentence-constructions lately? Come to think of it, he hasn't said "such as" in years.

The Achewood Semantics Board is concerned. Has "such as" gone the same way as Ray being furious every time he picks up the phone? ("What the HELL! DAMN you!")

i thought ray only answered the phone angrily when he was in the middle of a good ole-fashioned thrash.

and justifiably so. anyone phones me when i'm cracking one off, they're getting it with both barrels. so to speak.

i would pessimistically argue that the proliferation of 'such as' on the assetbar forum has basically killed its comedic value.

its our fault and we all know it.

I must protest in the strongest terms: this comic is highly anti-king. As a king myself, I would like to point out that you become a king by descending from another king, and not by punching in the mouth or telling 'chicks' you like them. Also I do not have a food taster.

If you punch another king in the mouth just right, you can usurp his kingitude.

If you tell a chick that you like her, and that chick is a queen, and there is no extant king, you can fill her vacant kingitude vacancy, and get kingified.

I know you don't really want anyone to be aware of this, because you are jealous of your kingism. But really, is kingifaction so special that you have to lie in order to keep it???

You mephitic republican poltroon, you are many centuries out of date. No king would consider usurpation cool in this day and age. As for getting steamy with the queens, that is going to make you a prince at best, and all the proper kings will pick on you at parties.

Look, however I get my king on is cool enough, OK? Usurpation, queen steam, whatever.

Any king who picks on me at a party is not a proper king at all. In fact he would be quite improper.

And impugning my bravery won't make your crown quit slipping down in front of your eyes whilst you play at billiards.

http://www.ultimatedisney.com/images/q-s/robinhoodmwe-12.jpg

What biff wants to know (as do I) is what country you are the king of, because I would punch you in the mouth and cold tell your lady I like her.

Watch Ray's arms sway

King Juan Carlos of Spain is, it seems, a raw dude. At the Iberio-American summit, he told a persistently annoying Hugo Chavez, "Why don't you shut up?" Chavez reportedly complied.

Now I'm not even sure where I stand on kings.

The REALLY smart kings made the food-taster the chefs son/daughter. The really paranoid ones would have multiple pairs of chef/tasters and pick a meal to eat.