Philippe's 5th Birthday Party

Philippe's 5th Birthday Party 08/22/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

It might have been coke, but it's all in what you say.

Rate this Strip:

« prev 1st rand curr next »

Embed the Strip

Embed:
Facebook:	Share on Facebook

Login to post a comment

Displaying all 303 comments

I don't know if the ease with which Philippe is delighted is endearing or depressing.

Still love the kid, though.

Endearing I'd say. The only way it could become depressing is if you're mourning your own dead child as you watch someone else's very alive child become delighted.

Lie Bot? Is that you?

Lie bot lies, yet his words ring true.

Tite...tite...

A comment/avatar combo.

The person who lamed this has had this exact thing happen to him.

The gift is similar to T forgiving Lyle for Christmas.

It's complex, and it's just what they would want as a gift...but it's free as the dickens.

Todd will always be my favorite. Followed by Lyle. You just don't grow up in California without meeting at least one Todd and/or Lyle.

Sadly, you don't even grow up in Wisconsin without knowing at least one Todd and/or Lyle.

Hey, another Wisconsinite! It sucks here, doesn't it?

True story, my friends on the far north side of Chicago are referred to as Wisconsinites. It's not a term of endearment.

My old roommate was from Wisconsin and just got a job in Chicago with a bunch of FIBs. When his coworkers found out where he was from, they got all cold, and one said, "We know what you call us."

I'm more familiar with the variant "FIP." I get a kick out of my Indiana friends calling people from Chicago FIPs and my Chicago relatives calling Indiana people FIPs.

Michigan ain't much better, though, but at least we've got like fudge and hands for maps and shit.

I had no idea what FIB meant (never been to Wisconsin, and I know Chicago only as the place where you have to run a marathon to catch your connecting flight on the other side of the airport), but UrbanDictionary just explained it to me. Thank you Interweb!

The Interwebs. Is there anything they can't do?

they certainly cant bring back a beloved pet cat..

Or a beloved childhood drum.

I'm not even American and this annoys me.

No, YOU heavy... down!

My avatar is already the Weighted Companion Cube. Do you expect me to increase its mass yet further?

Man, hearing your part of the exchange in GLaDOS's voice is too much. Consider yourself Chubbied for no good reason.

That last one is something that GLADOS would say.

Oh shit, damn italics!

...... *Thinks about it*

Y'know... I can't tell if you're right or not on that. It has GLaDoS's childish streak... but somehow I imagine she'd make it sound better...
Borderline.

No, that's totally fair. America's a pretty new country. Shit reflects in our culture from the schools up and we're still working out all the petty kinks of completely subjective regionalism. When I see a bunch of dudes from Ireland or Wales or England arguing over whose city rules more, I grin and lean closer, waiting for the hilarious arguments only an open minded but tunnel-visioned person can provide, like how a true gentleman spits politely in the presence of a lady (with her permission and only through three or more layers of tissue, a made-up source)

I was wondering how long it would take for someone to make an Illinois crack.

<-- grew up in Minneapolis, BS '02 at Madison, now lives in SF

See, you guys have to lay it down, admit Chicago rules the region, and focus your ire where it belongs.

Towards the coasts.

Illinois is 95% booze and 5% meth.

Man, don't be doin' your fuzzy maths without showing your work. These are the kind of statistics that keep me awake at night...all with the car trunks exploding.

Reno is more like 50/50.

I grew up in Concord California. I think it was 100/100.

Listen, objectively, Illinois does have an awesome album written about it. And what's with all the interstate fighting? We don't have that here. We love all our neighbours...

except for the fucking Victorians.

What sucks is that I went to Melbourne this year and everyone was really nice to me.

Way to screw up my hate for Victoria, Melbournites!

There must have been people from Brisbane in Melbourne that day. Talking to you.

Your comment made me start thinking about... well... timetravelers and... cross-period hate.

"ELIZABETHANS ARE TERRIBLE DRIVERS!"
"FUCK THE VICTORIANS!"

just cause you got a beef with chicago, don't mean u got to drag the rest of the state in.

we here in central illinois are only moderately insane.

All 3 people in Illinois lamed you.

Even California's not that great if you're from Bakersfield (apparently the state's capital of baby-drowning)

Los Angeles is a piece of shit, though.

I'm told Indio's no treat either, though it plays host to the dazzling Coachella each year.

I live close to Bakersfield. further out into the nothing. and I agree it is not rad.

Seeing all you guys argue and complain about where you live in the States makes me really glad I live in Canada.
Not sayin' it's all a bed of roses up here, but at least it isn't **insert State name**

[IMGS OFF]

stay tuned for "Mexico - America's Beard"!

I wish I could chubby this comment ten thousand times.

America, that hat is way too big for your head.

America is Little Nephew

I prefer the prison analogy that Canada is "bigger, and on top."

Dude, why do you keep on giving everyone the impression that us Brits are complete jack-offs?

Cut it out!

... I never said I represented the rest of this country.
I'm just me. I'm not Britain. I'm not Wales nor England either.
I'm not this country, county, city, borough nor postal code. I am just a sack of meat with opinions and no fear of expressing them, no matter what other opinions they may contradict.

you're about as good a companion as a cube can be.

At least he's never threatened to stab me.

Seriously!

we were all talking about different citys/countys in rural california, but the strip oftain mentions such places. but yes. I totally agree with your post.

Dude I was born in Bakersfield and go the hell out of there as fast as possible. Bakersfield is Circumstances.

Good dickens that is a trance-inducing avatar.

I've read 6 years worth of strips so far and the only thing that could make me comment is mutual Wisconsin self loathing.

Is it bad that I might be the Lyle to many of my friends?

No, just don't be the Todd to your friends. They'll think you suck dick to pay for your transportation needs.

of course, if you're the Lyle to your friends that means you are the woman of the band...and accordingly must provide hot stews until your replacement is identified...

you're definitely not the Lyle if you're gonna pussy-assedly ask on the internet if it's bad to be the Lyle.

Sorry to flame, but s'true

Sadly you just don't grow up in England without knowing at least one Lyle- Todds on the other hand are an American thing!

hell man, sometimes it feels like all of my friends are Todd and Lyle

Ray needs some credit, though. He is great to Philippe and always has something planned for his birthday, Christmas, etc. I foresee Ray as a great father some day.

it's a special day

Doing a line of coke in someone's face is a going to be the new #1 sign of disrespect in the fourth quarter.

One-handed snorting should not be attempted by untrained personnel.

and running is right out.

it must be the first use of "do cocaine" as a transitive verb in history.

Sorry, boss. No direct object.

Actually (and i'm no english major) but in the sentence, "Don't YOU do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch," isn't "ME" the direct object?

It's the object of a prepositional phrase. So no.

If it makes you feel any better, your joke wasn't that good to begin with.

Why is Ray so slouchy?

I'm guessing it's because the tallest person he's talking to in this strip is a 5 year old otter

philippe is ALWAYS five. damnit.

repent, spectre, said the ticktockman.

But Jeffty was un-fived by an ill-considered remark. I hope neither Lyle nor Lie Bot does the same thing to poor Philippe.

He really should have emphasized that when running for President. Not just being five, but being five forever.

When compressed, is it 'damnit' or 'dammit'? Militant grammarians, into the breach!

dammit is widely considered correct and one of the suggested correct spellings when "damnit" is entered at dictionary.com. merriam webster only includes dammit in their premium dictionary. bastards.

He's a stuffed animal.... they don't age. They just have birthdays because it's fun.

It's kind of like Onstad is spitting in the face of the real-time aging characters from For Better Or For Worse. And it's magnificent.

Consider this: Maybe this is a flashback strip to when Phillipe first turned 5.

I thought that too, but then I decided that I didn't want it to be.

Todd also has the "new Todd" look of present era Achewood. He is presented with the current shorter snout. I said that in my head with a heavily nasal voice..... somewhat like Thurston Howell III.

Achewood Theater Presents:

Giiligan's 5th Birthday Party

Thurston Howell III:
"Lovey... I say... Lovey!...will you Please stop doing that cocaine at Gilligan...it's his Birthday for Pete's sake...besides, that is just so, oh, how do you say, common...

honestly Lovey, you'd think we were slumming in the Hamptons with those ghastly Hilton sisters...again...mwah ha...mwah haha...haha...

I say, Lovey... that's not our Tiffany mirror, is it?"

it's a Gustavian Demi-Lune.

Now do it with Roombas!

But there is a companion birthday blog entry for Phillipe, making it clear this is the present day.

Ah.. but the blog doesn't mention this incident with Ray and Todd or how old he is this year. The only info we get is that August 22nd is his birthday.

(It's funny that his birthday would have been August 23rd if they hadn't accidently posted Friday's strip on Thursday.)

Actually, tomorrow's strip references something directly in the blog (the meat chart).

Philippe: the only candidate in the 2008 election who won't have to change his slogan from 2004.

An eternal five year old? He's got my vote.

the Mr. Poopytime camp has benefited greatly from a groundswell of grassroots support.

I felt a fun ironic sense of sarcasm in this comment. I enjoyed it, I say calm down lamers. chubby this up.

Good god, this is the first strip in a long time that's made me laugh out loud.

Where's Ray's fucking bow tie? This is a special day, what the fuck? Where's the bow tie, Ray? Obscured by your chin?

Ray gave his bowtie to Phillipe when Phillipe realized he had forgotten his. The present presentation would not have gone so smoothly if Phillipe had already been crying.

that is exactly what happened.

I thought he had some kind of collarless European thing going on.

Philippe can never be Not Five.

Neither can the rating of this strip.

blasphemous

Not entirely..

Ugh. That was totally not canon.

Dinosaur Comics reference?

as far as we'll ever know.

That was a ~~wonderful~~ horrible dream.

I'm surprised that there were still people who hadn't read that brilliant guest strip. And I'm surprised no one's brought This into the fray yet. it's what you could call, canon.

Actually, steerpike did, just 5 replies ago.

Well, that's me fucked then. I should've known better than to think a comment with the link would be any different.

Phillipe's bowtie must be wrapped around his armpits because otters are anatomically unfit for celebrations.

this was a surprise in more ways than one!

Philippe: because he is always five. Yay! I think ray must have given him his bow-tie to wear under his arms; Ray's all dressy and yet he lacks a bow-tie.

todd in panel six is pretty perfect. he takes a knee, raises his arm quite dramatically and snorts like a champion.

"I hate that stuff. Sends oyster shit down my throat."

sniff snaff snoof

I hella laughed loud in the library of my Uni. For lots of time. I was almost kicked out.

Instant 5'd.

I meant to hit chubby and accidentally hit lame. Sorry. I indeed found your comment giving me a chubby, not lame at all.

When it is my future son's fifth birthday, I will get this present for him.

Maybe Todd is clean? Could we even go there?

SNIFF SNAFF SNOOF

My feelings exactly.
Sniff snaff snap!

This became one of favorites at the sixth frame: "Don't you do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!"

I also love the variety of sniffing onomatopoeia.

Not just doing cocaine... doing cocaine AT HIM. It's the *intent* of the action that makes it so wonderful!

Imagining wearing that Armpit Bowtie is driving me bonkers.

Note the kneeling position, and the gentle, graceful curve in panel six as Todd snorts yet more cocaine.
The dude has no mercy.

As if the snorting of cocaine was a martial arts move. "Crouching squirrel inhales dust of madness."

The best strip ever.

SNNFFFFFFFFFFFFFZZZ

Todd was actually snorting pixy stix powder. I think we've all been there.

Philippe's 5th birthday: No cake, no candles, plenty of blow.

Cocaine ideas

Does it make you a genius

"Sniff snaff snoof" just makes panel 7 for me. How is this not a perfect 5.0?

Todd's actions in planel 6 are so well conveyed!

almost uncharacteristically brilliant.

The hell?

Old school Achewood. I've missed you so... :D

I like thinking about all the thought and preparation that went into making this present.

Sniff snaff snoof: Latter-day Snap Crackle Pop?

Oh man, Ray and Todd were in on it!

Would it be okay if I offered to do this at parties? I can't really think of a better job than being hired to go to some kids birthday and do drugs then laugh it off.

"Hey, Jimmy! It was all a joke! Now hand me some cake and block the wind so I can light this."

philippe has fastened his bowtie under his arms.

For next year's Very Special Episode, Lyle will not get drunk and do potty on Philippe's book about Cunty, punch Philippe in the stomach, or even tell him to shove it. The first item is really self-serving, as that book is now Lyle's main source of income, but the other two are genuinely nice gestures.

Cornelius, on the other hand, will still scold Philippe inappropriately.

This one is very good. Fuck.

Philippe better like his present. Todd's going to be horking up floursnot for days.

what makes you think it was flour? my money's on coarsely ground-up ecstacy.

i always spell that wrong. what a bummer

holy shit, first time i've literally laughed out loud.

partially to phillipe's dapper dressing.

First time in your life? That is the saddest thing.

Is the fourth panel quoting something?

It sure seems like a quote, but I couldn't find anything googling several different variations.

I know someone else has commented on this already, but I love it so much I have to comment on it again:

Don't you do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!

that's just because the only people who have read it thusfar are the ones who worship this site and check it frequently.

Well, to speak the other side (not that I necessarily represent this side, I'm being objective here), you are saying it's not good enough because it has reverted back to a style we all loved when we first came across it. That's valid but really nitpicky. The other nitpicky point-of-view is that this comic never does that SOOO WACKY joke any longer. So how can one win? You can't both be right. But you can probably both be wrong. (note, the SO WAAAACKYYYYY comic got a 4.7 so)

In short, thanks for ruining one of the better comics with your pointless negativity.

you've read 354 strips and you don't know who todd is? are you a goldfish?

Apparently touched a nerve with a few people here, but I'm sure these are the same folks who believe Oswald acted alone.

Think, people: There are TWO squirrels. Todd in the present, some other guy in the closet.

No, are you?

*swims around bowl once*

No, are you?

Well, all of phillipe's past presents have been disappointments because he expected so much more than what he got. So by setting him up to expect something horrible, getting it taken away made it the best present ever

Oh man, this comic is five today.
Under-arm bow-tie. Awesome.

This is the best strip.

Philipe is so happy Todd was not actually doing cocaine.

What I want to know of course -

Who is the impostor Todd?

254 votes and a 4.9 rating?!? This has the be the highest rated Achewood strip ever.

my day sucked.

then I read this strip.

now, today is awesome

I railed three lines after I read this strip.

Somehow I'm thinking Todd showed up twenty minutes late with no present, and Ray helped him improvise.

On behalf of Phillippe, I am quite upset by that remark

HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOY

Phillipe looks like a rocket ship.

The two highest rated strips revolve around people doing drugs at parties.

Just an observation.

PS: This strip is very excellent.

Part of the draw of achewood is that most of the readers relate with the characters so strongly. I drink a lot, do a few drugs, yet still remain literate and urbane. (Or so I would like to think) I think it says something about the readership that Onstad has drawn to the site, which really, is a bunch of people I'd like to hang out with.

I love you, man.

but unlike the achewood inhabitants, i always end up in the kitchen at parties. i only use the bathroom for puking.

If I could give the STRIP a chubby, I would. This is class.

Easily, easily the best in weeks.

ah, that was awesome.

What a great strip. It also made me consider how economical it must be to be Todd. Guy can probably get higher than God on 50 cents worth of cocaine, if you think about his size.

Ray's running knee and arm just out-of-panel are Old School. And the snort-motion sf/x are pure post-class. Would Onstad frame just a panel?

As good as Achewood has been lately, and it's been really damn good...this is the best strip in ages.

As I was scrolling by this page I misread the above comment as "as good as achewood has been lately, this one is just unicorn good... this is the best strip in ages.

I thought you'd want to know, internet.

Unicorn is officially my New Favourite Adjective. Thank you.

I wish I had a more witty and erudite way of saying how excellent this strip is than the previous posters, but I don't. It's just fucking excellent.

Ray and Todd know that, when forgotting to buy a child a birthday gift, an elaborate drug hoax can be just as good if not better.

How brilliant is this strip?
Let me count the ways -
Don't you do cocaine at ME...
Sniff, Snaff, Snoof...
Phillipes bithday outfit, including bowtie under the arms.
Sheer magic

i love todd's rock n roll point as he does the cocaine at ray. i'm gonna try that the next my wife moans at me for pouring another drink. or making another line.

Damn, man! Todd totally doesn't care that he has a terrible cocaine addiction at Philippe's birthday party! Rock on, Todd!

Great strip.

Some of Ray's best lines ever. EVER.

Even so, Phillipe wins the cake. "...all those cocaines."

Top shelf. I give it a 5, yo.

I can't believe it took 127 comments to point this out! "all those cocaines" totally made the strip for me

It's my birthday today too! This strip is all I could want as I turn uh, somewhat older than 5

happy birthday, sumo man

In addition to being an exciting and spirit gift, Ray and Todd also gave their version of an anti-drug commercial to Phillipe.

I seriously died when I read this. It is so good, that this will be my first and only comment.

[IMGS OFF]

One of the most hilarious recent Achewoods.

urg. i had a todd night last night. a todd night is when you get lit up on the sauce and help your friend engage in crime, go bowling, do some ship lifting, get in a fight, fall over, have an argument with a guy from africa, dance with the same guy, get scars from ... somewhere and wake up the next day ready to do it again!

shop. shop lifting.

I dunno, ship lifting seems like it could be pretty badass.

Just straight up lifting a fucking ship.

Ray has millions of dollars and this is what he sets up for Philippe's birthday?

Philippe looks like a giant droopy pencil in frame 8.

Todd looks like he has a little bank note or something in the second frame, but he obviously decided to dispense with it thereafter.

dag man, this is kind of old school of chris. I think its mad funny. don't you do cocaine at me is already catching with my mates.

oh my this is fantastic

this is my favorite strip without a doubt

We don't pretend to run around at my place anymore. It would be a special birthday indeed! :)

God damn I love panel seven.

Awesome composition.

Don't say cocaine ideas.

HAHAHAHA SO GOOD!! "All those cocaines" bahahaha there's so much good material in here!

This is one of the best Achewood's ever.

Sometimes it takes a while before I fully appreciate a particular strip. But Ray, all fierce -- "Phiippe is FIVE today! That is SPECIAL!" -- fist and shoe raised in pursuit, as Todd continues to snort while fleeing ... definitely 5.

"That is SPECIAL!"

so good.

Sniff is the sound it makes when he is regular-snorting. SNFFFFFFZZ is the sound it makes when his nose is in contact with whatever the cocaine happens to be laid on. You can also notice that Todd was power-snorting in the second strip, as the cocaine is flying to his nose from at least one inch away.

Panel 6 is my favorite single Achewood panel ever. There's a ton of close seconds, but that one is king.

Ray has an EXCELLENT knee in the 7th panel.

this is basically the best strip i've seen in a very long time.

Easy to find, being the only strip containing the word "snaff".

WOW. Add not doing cocaine as a top-ranking last-minute gift idea! Don't have time to do shopping? No problem! Run around sniffing salt for a few panels, then pop out of a box and yell "SURPRISE! I'M NOT HIGH!"

Someone has never had salt up their nose.

Then that'd be gift enough?

so...in my short time reading Achewood, I've run into your name in the comments a lot. you do NOT make me laugh, nor do you contribute ANYTHING to the comments. please stop breathing.

Oh man, you're totally being a cock to a stranger.

I'd say his avatar accuarately represents him.

rays legs in panel 6 make me feel wierd. they look creepy.

The best part about this is the backward F in the first panel.

backward what now???

this might be my all time favorite

[IMGS OFF]
I'm Doctor Rockso; the Rock'n'Roll Clown
I DO COCAINE!

I hear it's somebody's birthday
I DO COCAINE!

Doctor Rockso gonna make you a BALLOON BASS!

seriously dude, a lot of cocaine.

i am of the opinion that Murderface was never Five.

You're wrong, in that episode when they all met their parents they showed baby Murderface watching his dad kill his mom with a chainsaw and then kill himself. That may be the saddest thing.

yeah, that's what i mean! he zipped right from being Two to...however old he is now.

Philippe's present is that Todd was not really snorting cocaine.

1000 squirels on 1000 grams of cocaine on 1000 typewriters will eventually produce an exact transcript of Kerouac's "On The Road."

Todd sounds like Blackalicious, here.

Let's work hard to bring this up to a 4.9, folks!

Shut the hell up, dick.

you suck!

no, YOU DO.

god, every time i read this i laugh more

How can you not laugh at Todd's spiteful coke-sniffing in panel 6?

Not only is Phillipe turning 5 (yet again) but he also looks like a Rocket. An Otter Rocket.

I must be a main mattering man, because the slow-down before the speed up added to the art of this artifice. To me.

Achewood's rendition of a Guy Ritchie film.

Philippe asks Liebot once again: "What is the saddest thing?"

Liebot is silent for some moments... not even asking the question any more... before he starts.

"Ray is going to enter the room half an hour from now, quite drunk, and shall ask you: What do you want to be when you grow up? But you are never going to grow up, so you shall become very upset.
Ray will then take you out to the theme park in order to cheer you up, and only then will you find out that you are too short to go on any of the rides. Forever."

"all those cocaines" in the eighth panel is the reason I read Achewood now.
Viva la Philippe.

This was the first achewood strip I ever read. That is why I'm here.

I want this for a birthday present someday.

I also like the idea of doing cocaine at someone.

This is the strip where my trawl through the archives ended, as I reconnected with the spot where I had originally started reading. I feel that I deserve a prize of some sort.

"How dare you have a terrible cocaine addiction at Philippe's birthday party!"

I thought the strip couldn't get any better after that. I was wrong.

Panel 4 is a self-contained theoretical treatise on comic timing, camouflaged as a cocaine idea.

Today's Blogs

Philippe: I had a birthday!

"Then we had cake and we almost had ice cream but T�odor forgot to put his ice cream mixer part in the freezer over night so we pretended to run around in the back yard. Guess what! I won!"

I thought even the non blog-readers should be treated to this.

WAIT HERE WHILST I TAKE SOME COCAINES

Phillipe is just a tube so the bowtie has to go under his armpits.

"Don't you do cocaine at ME, you son of a bitch!" makes this one a 5/5.

I swore off of the stuff, but this strip is so good it makes me want to pick some up just to be able to say this.

whoa, what a great present! i can't wait till next mother's day to get one of these for my mum

Story of my life.

Aw, happy day indeed. Philippe is very lucky to look forward to his birthday every year... If only we can.

Stuttering only makes alliteration that much more beautiful. Cocaine doesn't hurt, either.

Doing cocaine AT someone is one of the most vindicating gestures one can make to another person without being overtly aggressive.

I like how Philippe's bowtie is like going under his arms and around the top of his chest since he lacks a neck of any sort

Ray cold dons a tux for Philippes birthday party

In panel 7, Ray is running like a fucking Looney Tune or some shit.

Who wants to bet that Todd actually was doing cocaine?

I went looking for this strip, now I have found and saved it.

That is all.

He's five... today?
What?

It's probably been said, but still...
Classic Todd.

This is easily the greatest

How does Onstad come up with a billion great comic ideas? It's not even a weekly webcomic! It's almost every day! I mean, almost every strip has something quotable, there are almost too much catchy phrases. and it takes a great amount of human truth and agility of language to create a catchy phrase. And Onstad does it EVERY DAY. Wha... how?

Too many, not too much. You grammarded son of a bitch.

Best present ever.

I guess I know what I'm getting Michael Irvin this year!

wow i wonder how much Ray had to pay Todd to not do cocaine for 5 minutes

Displaying all 303 comments

Home

Members

Comments

Archive

My Profile

My Comments

Highest Rated

Most Commented

Most Viewed