Yo Mama's So Fat

Yo Mama's So Fat 05/20/2004 « prev 1st rand curr next »

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My nephew told me that he was going to send my picture to the whole world, even China and Santa, the other day. For some reason, I immediately thought of the last panel of this strip.

On the beach once, I heard a child proclaim to his friend to be careful digging his hole, for he might hit a Chinaman.

I have also heard that from my Grandma.

You think I am kidding.

This comment is the best, and it has the least chubbies out of the big four

At first, I thought no one got your brilliant reference.

Then I realized you only made it two days ago.

Either way, chubs ahoy.

Tekende, the Chinaman is not the issue here.

They're not asian-american if they live on the other side of the world, not in america.

I guess three people thought I was being a dick about nomenclature and lamed me.

They're out of their element.

the instant i read this asset, i was overcome by a powerful urge to drop everything i was doing (reading achewood) and re-watch the big lebowski for the oh 4th time. it's that good.

"i'm sending you a picture of the Earth."

"...that's a picture of my mother wearing a blue and green shirt."

"damn. my bad."

"The sailors keep her down in the hold, to keep the ship stable."

"Her baby pictures had to be taken by satellite."

ultrasounds of her children had to be taken by actual spelunkers.

She fell in love and broke it.

It took her two trips to haul ass.

That one has never made sense to me.

The woman is so morbidly obese that she does not fit through infinite oblivion.

That's basically the point of it.

I would chubby you for you avatar, if only I had any of them left.

Whoah. First I saw scraggg's avatar, then I wanted to give him a chubby, then I saw I already did, then I saw my own comment and now it feels hella weird. What the hell is what I'm basically asking.

F#A#Infinity is better, IMO.

Agreed.

this one is as funny as hitting an infant with a hammer.

Which is HILARIOUS.

every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movie theater, she sits next to everybody.

Also re: movie theatres-

She has a job at one as one of the screens.

Due to her large surface area.

"Yo Momma's so fat it is beginning to adversely affect her health and self-esteem!"

Your mom's so fat that everyone died.

Even the mayor!

"Yo' momma got a wooden leg with a KICKstand, mothaFUCKA!

"Yo' momma got a mouth in the back of her neck, an' the bitch chew like this..."

Yo Momma is blocking the way. Do you want to use the Poke Flute?

Come to think about it, "poke flute" could be misunderstood as a euphemism for the male reproductive organ. Crap.

White bread snaps?

the real-life version momma joke

I wonder if they still consider themselves the dirtiest dudes in town, or if dirtier dudes have come to the fore.

When did Pat get his porkpie hat back?

Had he lose it before he came out of the closet? I'm unsure.

I don't think he's out of the closet yet - I've been reading chronologically and still haven't seen any mention of it.

So as of this second you're now four hours ahead of me in the archive.

You, madame, are 26 minutes ahead of me.

Man I feel like we're all living parallel lives, off-kilter by just the smallest fractions of time.

2 days ahead of me

I'm only 4 months behind.

It's better than five.

crap, i'm four months behind YOU!

A month behind youuuuuu.

three weeks.

I just clicked "random comic". I feel like I've been dropped into the game without choice. I don't have a lot of options.

Oh boy.
[IMGS OFF]

Fail o'clock.

You don't get away that easy.
[IMGS OFF]

His feet. My god HIS FEET!

... and Bulge.

why did jerry orbach get his own action figure? law and order isnt that exciting or tough.

actually, it looks more like tom bergeron.

Man, Phillippe stone cold does not get yo momma jokes, but that is okay. It is like saying Mingus does not get Bach. That is an okay thing, when you are your own crazy self.

Mingus is totally down with Bach! I have no idea why you would say that thing you said about him not being down with Bach.

Mingus is down with jazz, jazz has always been down with bach.

Yeah, Mingus actually quotes one of Bach's preludes from the Well-Tempered Clavier in the song "Taurus in the Arena of Life" off of Let My Children Hear Music. The more you know, baby.

Yeah fuck you Mr Pete!

No, Philippe totally gets yo momma jokes, but has chosen to transcend the status quo. He has started a revolution in yo momma joke comedy by adding a touch of realism.

You're right! Wow, Phillipe is ruuuude.

Phillipe revels in the layered ironies of postmodernism.

Or else he is Five.

Postmodernism revels in the layered ironies of Phillipe. And it is arguably fifty-five!

To borrow a phrase, when you been knuckleheads since old times such things as dickishness and, hey, high-grade neuroses seem relatively unimportant.

You can always enjoy a glass of wine with a dude at Luigi's, no matter how much of a dick he is. It's a basic rule of life.

Is most basic concept perhaps.

When you are young, jerks are ok. As you get older, not so much. Maybe you change, maybe they change? Who knows?

The deal is it's like why in Trainspotting all those Scottish dudes still hang out with that Begbie prick. He's a mate, what can you do?

Everybody has a resident asshole in their group of friends, it's a role that must be filled. Pat just does too good a job

"before you ask, yes, it's a mixed blessing."

I'm also the whore, y puedo que hablar dos idiomas.

Phillipe is fit to hang with the dirtiest dudes in town.

"NOT THE MAYOR!" made me piss myself.

I would to love to see an extra panel from this of just the awkward after moment. How do you tell a 5 year old Otter his joke was wrong without hurting him?

I'm sure Pat handled that.

Without hurting him.

I love how doubtful Philippe looks in the last panel. He doesn't quite know what's going on, but he'll just try his best anyway, because he's Philippe.
Come to think of it, isn't it a little weird that a 5 year old is driving out to the bay on his own?

Achewood would make a badass racing game, with Phillippe in his car, Beef in the Volvo of Despair, and Pat in a car shaped like an erect penis.

More like Cirus Penis in a phallic chariot. Or maybe a late model convertible Mustang?

Cornelius eschewing his Mini for the Old School Bus.

The finishing line is a lake, the photo-finish is on a paused webcam dismissed by being angled at Ray's crotch

Don't forget Ray in the Escalade. And Todd in his van.

the unlockable vehicle can be the ford galaxie from burnout summer

naw man that's beef's car, and pat's in his 70s stickered-up mustang.

Little Neph in his Civic

maybe the Volvo can be the unlockable, then..all equipped with a special horn powerup that causes despair to disperse in a shockwave around the vehicle, causing those other drivers to weep and skid around, giving you the ability to properly Stand on it, Agnes.

Mr. Bear's Mini. With all the mods, including the Laphroig warmer.

Oh man. Oh man. This has to happen.

Are there any Acheworld members who happen to be handy with Flash, or whatever it is you crazy kids use to make them innarnet games?

I'd so love to have a doily launcher be a powerup in a cart racing game.

i have been playing south park rally

if that goddamned xna racing sample ever works i'll try my hand at making a 360 one of these (heads up it will suck unless someone has closet modeled this stuff in maya)

Pat would be in a Prius or some other hybrid.

I was confused by the tunnel to the bay at first, but I've come to my senses and now know it is just an entrance to the underground.

Today on a Very Special Achewood, a Very Special Boy learns that "special" isn't always a compliment.

After locking myself out of my appartment while wearing a Philippe tee, my landlord took one look and me and said "you are a special boy, aren't you?"

Man. That is unfortuante.

ARRRGGGGH fucking typo!!

Here comes a special girl.

Unfortuant� sounds like a shitty Italian Restaurant.

Unfortuante has a certain flair. Like what an italian farmer will name his firstborn because he aspires the boy to get an education and be a big businessman.

The farmer has such dreams...

Philippe's a few snaps short of the dozens.

ray was serving up a nice hot dish of "yo mama" to pat before philippe arrived.

My friend actually repeated this in a yo-mama contest. I had to summon all my willpower to prevent wetting myself from the laughter.

You know if you had wet yourself, your friend would have won and you'd be the dirtiest dudes in town.

I think that is why Bob O'Connor really died.

The difference between Beef, Ray and Pat's expressions in the 5th and 6th panels makes it for me.

Phillippe is hardcore. Keepin it real little otter.

Oh my goodness this is a wonderful strip. I love how Philippe assumes they're already aware the mayor was present and doesn't bother explaining why.

When I first read the strip I loved it, but since you explained all the jokes, I now hate it.

O/5 rating, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!

I'm not sure a 0/5 rating really works. It just means you've had no effect on the strip's rating whatsoever.

Go back and fix that. jesler729 is a dum-dum.
The mayor was 5 blocks away in his office as usual. That's how fat that momma was. Tsunami-mommy.

Philippe punishes.

I see "Some even got on the mayor!" all over various interweb forums now.

Hats off to Onstad.

Pat is so shocked, his mouth fell open. And that is great.

Also, this one makes me think of President Philippe welcoming the Pope.

I don't know why the kid is so morbid this week maybe it's the weather

philippe is not quite sure what it is that he is saying.

beef and ray have just realized that they are no longer the dirtiest dudes in town.

pat was not prepared for what has just happened within his vicinity.

Am I just retarded or is Phillippe driving from the passenger seat in the first panel?

Yeah he is. I also noticed that... weird.

You're not retarded. And Philippe is not five.

Wow. That's a kinda indefensible stance there woodenteeth. Oh look! You drew attention to making the same idiot point twice. Good on you. Special little guy.

the tiny double-line on the right side of the car suggests we are seeing it from an angle

Only if it's an American car.

I first thought that Philippe was entering a Tunnel Of Love in an amusement park. With the sign "flows to bay" overhead, which made it even better. In fact, I still think this is what happened. Or he stole a golf cart, which seems out of character.

Or he's driving the car Lyle made him.

I think it's great that the three cats are hangin' together again.

I use to question why the three cats hang out. Obviously Ray and Roast Beef hang out because they have been good since back in the day, not to mention Beef is one of the few people who can put up with Ray....but why do they hang out with that dick Pat?

I thought about this for a long time, and then I realized that in my group of friends, I am Pat. And I cried.

Please don't cry. You could maybe not be Pat. After all, Pat is a dick. Here is a chubby to foster goodness and warmth in your soul.

Because, without Pat, Roast Beef would not be the middle cat.
Oh dang he is on the left in this strip.

Phillipe's mayoral obsession predates itself.

i'm a year later, but i was completely up-to-date 3 years ago. which counts for nothing except the amount of lames i'll most likely receive.

Beef and Ray have downed their drinks, but Pat's glass remains untouched.

but only Ray's glass is empty. that says a lot about him.

Philippe is such a subtly dark character.

The shocked look from the DDiT to Philippe's sublime one-upsmanship make this one of my favorites.

Reading through the archives is awesome, because I get to relive all of the things that have become so prevalent to assetspeak, "Some even got on the mayor" being one of them.

Agreed! Not only that but you get to come across old comments made and marvel at your own stupidity. I have no idea what I was thinking in the past. I must have been drinking.