What is your avatar from? I find it absorbing, yet vaguely disturbing.

It's Fezgig from Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal."

Thanks fineoak!

Oh man, somebody recently replied to a Dark Crystal post I finished, about the horse-animals which looked like Ray and Butter's surreal helicopter.

They were creepy fucking animals.

all kickin' through robo-beetles.

Ah, the Dark Crystal. You have led to so many sleepless nights for me.

Well, you and my alcoholic mother. I been working some rough chuckles lately.

chubby for an avatar of the best batman scene ever.

What a silly song.
I like it, of course. But it is still very silly.

But it's not by the Beatles or the Beach Boys! What business have you liking that song.

I like Donovan as well.

Everyone, go to Youtube and listen to "Atlantis" right now.

Here, I'll provide the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_JTV9E3J48
I love this song.
It gets better halfway through, though.
And my musical tastes are expanding!
Yay!

If you can enjoy this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfNb1w7pVcA
You can join the ranks of the Musically Eclectic. I'll leave a Pabst on the porch for you.

Fast and bulbous, also tapered.

I run on beans... I run on laser beans...

On a barely related, but no less musical note:
After hearing Archie Shepp play on Frank Zappa's You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 4 I decided to look him up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKb8DpevNbI

He's good stuff.

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?

Yes. Just dig it. That's right, the Mascara Snake. Fast and bulbous. Tight also.

Thank you, but I am not underage, and do not currently like this song as much as you do.

Sorry.
But I give you a chubby for offering to expand my world (in regards to the music and the alcohol, which I have never tried before.)

early records much more worthy, you can keep your damn pabst

I prefer the earlies too, Spotlight Kid counts as early in my book. I also like his late stuff (Shiny Beast to Ice Cream For Crow). But the ultimate is Safe As Milk for me. Stand alone, it's like the Mecca of blues/garage rock.

Nice, but I prefer this version: Donovan-Atlanta.

I was so happy when I finally got that reference. I was like "Oh! Donovan!"
And my family was like "Wha . .. ?"
True story.
Also, I love the line "and the other so-called gods of our legends, though gods they were".
It is a very nice song, though. Really.

I have to admit being extremely partial to Donovan as well.

Donovan -- the British Dylan? Discuss.

I actually met Donovan at a show in Omaha one time. He was only like five feet tall and most of that was hair. He was drinking a Heineken and being a total douchebag. He ignored me completely and just talked to the girl I was there with, looking her over with a practiced lechery. Afterwards, we yelled at him across the bar "Sorry about 'Don't Look Back', it made you look like a jerk!"

Now look, Donovan has every right to look at your lady with sexy intent. He's Donovan, and that's just fine.

Don't Look Back made everyone in it look like a jerk.

A lot of celebs are jerks.
Look at John Lennon.

I still like him, though.

His daughter was my babysitter when I was a kid.

Ione Skye?

I think she married the main guy from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
*checks*
Yes, she did.
Unless he had another daughter.

Yes, it was Ione Skye.

She also married Ad-Rock of The Beastie Boys, which led to one my my favorite lines:

Ad-Rock's down with the Ione
Listen to the shit cuz both of them is boney
Gotta do it like this like chachi and joani
'Cuz she's the cheese and I'm the macaroni

My name's Ad-Rock and I'm a Scorpio
Don't ask me cuz I just don't know
Somethin Somethin Somethin
Chillin with Mario

I love it when you spaz out all alone.

A-D-R-O-C-K
I use the microphone like Picasso use clay

A fine example of how quickly the Beastie Boys descended into mediocrity.

Is that Beastie Boys lyric a reference to the Red Hot Chili Peppers in any way? I ask because Mr. Bungle has a song called Squeeze Me Macaroni, and there's been a feud between Mr. Bungle singer Mike Patton and Anthony Kiedis for maybe almost 20 years now.

Good line either way.

No, it's a reference to his own wife.

Kiedis' feud is with Patton 'stealing his schtick' even though everyone in the late eighties stamped around with long hair.

(They may not know Dylan!)

One time I touched Neil Young's arm. On purpose. I actually asked him if I could, and he giggled and proffered it.

His arm hair was a delicate silver color.

Basically, by seranading woman with banjo, you are saying she is worst song played on ugliest guitar.

No, you are literally performing a worst song on the ugliest guitar.

is that Daidai as in "To Life" from Fiddler on the Roof?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvr8AjT0aD0

Just tell me that you didn't just lame yourself. It's just a typo, honey. It's not life.

You can't lame or chubby yourself, it must have been someone else.

Oh god, I lamed all over the bathroom floor! Traumarama!

I'm writing you a prescription for your lame shivers.

"Doctor, when I pee, I come."

"Really? Is that a bad thing for you?"

"No...not at all...I just...I just want to know if it could kill me."

"No...it shouldn't."

"It shouldn't or it won't?"

"It shouldn't. Modern medicine is a crap shoot at best. Do you want some sort of...drug?"

"You can make me stop coming when I pee?"

"Sure, a simple sedative will do it."

"But the pee/coming might not kill me."

"Yeah, it might not."

"Yeah, ok, thanks."

"You want the sedative?"

"Fuck no."

Even bad sex is . . . . pretty good.

I'm sorry. Where do you arrive?

dopamine island

Just turn left at Seratonin Straits

Man, I sooo resemble those remarks!

Why'd you have to do a thing, dogg? Your avatar is so awesome, too.

The Achewood First Post Police placed daidai under close watch.

... but Lietenant habnabit had a personal connection to this case, he respected daidai and wished he didn't have to do what he must... stay tuned.

That's tough. I remember when I was under Close Watch.

Or am I still?

We trust you ever since you've been tagged.

You really should stop scratching at it.

Hey, is my probationary period over? I haven't seen any trolls lately. And I'm off the sauce, mostly.

"And what would you like to do to the whole world pogo?"

Google was no help with your reference. Five obscurity points. Next play?

I believe that was Donald Sutherland in Backdraft. He was an arsonist/pyromaniac who was up for parole. He looked completely sane until Robert De Niro asked him that question and then started ranting about burning the planet earth with living fire.

Yes, that's what I thought, too. I finally got one!

You are both...
CORRECT!
Show them what they've won loneal...

Wow, they've won her? How will they both, oh ... nevermind.

For whatever reason (no good one), I assumed you might have been a Donald Sutherland fan.

Woodenteeth has a crush on loneal and wants her to fit in with his impressions of the perfect woman pass it on.

You wanted me to post on new comics, this is what you get: grade-school.

I'm going "what?"

So was I! Comment First, Slap Head Later.

So's your mum...

and your face.

Tooth, I really like Sutherland, way back from *MASH* days, but haven't tried to see everything he's ever been in, like I did when I fell for Renee Z (that's over now).

"Tooth". I like it. As an Australian, any contraction of a name is a welcome thing.

Glad I was right about you being a fan... and as far as my obscure reference goes... well, you know, just thought, that if I pitched that curve ball and it stuck I might get picked up for the big leagues.

Better than Woodsy. Or Woodo. Which is about as imaginative as most Aussies get.

Tooth tells the truth. (Just playin' with your name.)

David Blane can't even hold his breath for 9 minutes.

Okay, people? David Blaine is not just an idiot. He is also a magician/illusionist and he is actually very, very good. Ignore all his stupid stunts, watch his television show. I'm talking about stuff like: he asks someone to think of someone they love, really hard, then pulls up his sleeve and there is a tattoo of their face on his arm. I don't know how he does it, but damn it is impressive.

Prolly.

Dogg, haven't you seen the "revealing the street magician's secrets" show? They totally busted all of his "best tricks", including that one.

The only thing that David Blaine is the "David Blaine of" is being good at selling his same old parlor tricks to a network, and making their cash disappear.

I like Blaine not because of his magic, but because of his stunts.

He is just plain awesome. You can not disagree with this.

Watch me.

People like going to magic shows because they are interesting and fun to watch. A dude sitting in a tank of water is neither of those things. It is just a dude sitting in a tank of water. Any other circumstances, you'd pull the guy out, but this one's douchey enough to do it for attention.

That is funny, because it was interesting and fun to watch for me.
I mean, the guy almost died.

I disagree with this. Blaine is crud.
Derren Brown on the other hand is extremely awesome.

One word: Mindfreak!

THAT. GUY. IS. A. DOUCHE.
Look at me with my goddam try-hard emo/metal look. FAIL.

Looks aside, he is a great magician with an interesting stage persona. The music ain't bad either.

Oh man I saw him live, and I went up on stage, and he read my mind, and oh my God the entire show was the most mindfuckingly awesome thing I've ever experienced.

Derren Brown: MindFuck

COME ON!!

Still, where did the lighter fluid come from?

I just get bitchy when I see a trick revealed as simple mechanics.
I want to believe in magic!

...or, maybe I'm still cranky that my brother got picked to go up on stage with Penn and Teller, and I didn't.

I mean come on!!
He couldn't hit a giant wheel with a dart for the damn trick!!
What kind of a...*grumble grumble bitch and moan*

Did he at least hit Penn?

God, I hope that awful man gets pegged by a dart in a room.

To quote Chris Rock, David Blaine is a trickless magician.

a scentless apprentice?

The book that song refers to is quite good, and the recent movie with Dustin Hoffman wasn't bad either.

go awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

man, did I love that dude's pipes' raucousness...

I always hurt myself singing along. Even twelve years of smoking did no good.

Urban Fervor?

Urbane Fever?

Blerg glerg glerg blerg glerg?

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog?

Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb!!

The best, absolute BEST, thing about Bob Loblaw is that Scott Baio would normally pronounce "Law" compleeetely differently. Possessing the same accent as him, I find this amusing.

Oh goddamn. Thank you Bawbwa Wawltaws.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, Rural Juror.

The trees were awesome.

I think Liz says that at one point...

I love the analogies Achewood uses, like setting your house on fire so that you can finally meet the neighbors. That is awesome.

What? A discussion of the strip? What about daidai's stupidity? Or someone else's age? No really, to get married so you can keep up with your best friend, what a nice thought. Dumb, but nice.

"Meaning I want what they have and they want what I have. There really should be a guide book".

There is always the communist manifesto..

Yeah, I was the "never-married guy" until I was 44, always going, "C'mon, your wife can spare you for one night!" Now I'm married and my friends are all, "Geeze, Dude, take off the leash for one night!" The main problem for Ray is not marriage. It's the Tina. Hell, ask Molly -- they used to be roomies.

I constantly worry about getting married, whether my biological clock is running out, whether she was really the one and I should have popped the question...

Of course, I'm just on the tail end of the bad part of puberty, so it's really more so just neurotic ramblings whilst I delicately carve an elegant ring out of my girlfriends fingerbone.

Hey FP, that sort of thing will probably never stop, since us guys can theoretically impregnate a women until they day of our death (or after with frozen sperm) it's hard to ever know if we're done, if this is the last one, if we should settle down. I'm settling, BTW, but only after multiple fuckups.

Hey Pogo. Is that avatar you have really a picture of you, or just a celebrity I don't know? Sorry, important to me.

I seriously, legitimately worry about this shit, at the age of sixteen. I am not looking forward to the next thirty years of my lonely looking life.

If it's that important to you...

Thank me later.

Mail-order tail? Let's hope no one is that desparate.

Yulia! I will send away for Yulia! It says she is a tender modest lady...just what I need! It is a perfect...marriage! And soon, her fingers will make a perfect...addition! Can I thank you now?

Please allow 2-3 business days for thankings.

I'm the minor celeb in the picture, when I was a magazine editor (Hamscout has created the magazine elsewhere.)

Pogo your face soothes me like Vapo-rub on my troubled chest. You look like you are going to enter a plane to Guatemala, but first you are giving me, your son, a smile to give my trembling chubby cheeks courage. You will bend down and take my hand in yours and say "C'mon, Oliver, cheer up. I'll be back before you know it." Of course you would not use any demeaning names like Sport, or Champ. You would truly treat me as an equal.

Is it bad that your picture makes me see an idealized father figure?

Pogo's face in that picture would make me comfortable trusting him with money

I'll tell you a post office box to send your money to.

No, son, I consider it an honor to evoke such emotions. Now don't tell your mother where I went, alright my equal?

Foetus_punch:

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off.
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.

Im sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.

TOM LEHRER

LOVE TOM LEHRER
LOVE HIM
MACABRE

See also: The Masocism Tango

Well, the link's right, but I spelled it wrong.
So, you get a laugh, and I still can't get a job using my English degree.
*feh*

At least ya' got the degree! You should now be able to flip hamburgers and clean convience stores with contentment.

ahem, that's: convenience stores.

*gains back some self-respect* Thanks!
You keep setting 'em up, lechatbotte, and I'll keep knocking them down...

I feel as though I would have enjoyed Tom Lehrer more if I hadn't in as much had him shoved down my throat by an English Teacher of yore. He also force fed me some Neil Gaiman, but he's terrible anyway, so no great loss.

Also, I appreciate the french pun in your name and picture.

Out of curiosity, which Gaiman did he make you read?

American Gods, otherwise known as "I went to a mythology course at the community college now where's my pen." I understand that many people like him quite a bit, and I'm sure he could be interesting to some, but...not for me. No way.

Beef is insane with sass

Riding the Sassmobile.

To sass school

With a side of sass.

Some of the sass even got on the mayor.

He described it as "utterly sassy."

Oh NO! Leeloo used her multipass and left us for the beaches!

She will be missed.

The multisass, you say? I'd be interested in hearing more about that!

Okay, you just have to sass class every Tuesday at the Community Center

Sassercise at the senior center after the group Early Bird Special breakfast at the diner.

I'll be in the corner, stretching with my "Sass-Master 2000".

Popularized by Tony "Sass" Little.

Stop... saying sass!

Ironically you're giving us sass.

Drive me in the Volvo of Sass.

Bite my shiny metal sass.

No.

Everyone dance like there's

SASS

IN

YOUR

PANTS

YES!

When this all started we were onto half this stuff, and the other half is pure, refined Onstad/Achewood GOLD. (Excuse me, I'm going to go light my house on fire.)

Don't forget the honeydew desert.

or the bitter resentment slaw and the honey-butter biscuits of regret.

Whereas Adam West may run into the distance with a smoking bomb for as long as he can...

He has to! There are nuns and ducks, everywhere he looks!

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb..."

solid 5 all the way

Amazing how this follows the Modern Gentleman's Flowchart. Ray don't need any chains.

you're getting way too bent out of shape over a comic on the internet.

When did Scott McCloud become such a dick?

Gotta disagree with ya'!

This has never been a strip as easily defined or pigeonholed as "Action" or any such. The dialog, with its quirks and odd usages has always been much more the thing, which shows up in the comments here as constant quotes from former strips.

I laughed outloud at work reading this one, and the alttext sealed the deal. Solid Gold, 5 (since there is no higher) exactly-the-reason-I-stay-tuned-in Achewood.

You are welcome to disagree!

DON'T SAY THAT HE IS TROLLING YOU FOOL

Lechatbotte, you are okay. I just hope you realize that most of our generation, especially the Internet-dwelling portion is far too cynical and jaded to be moved by your inspirational speeches, your appeals to common humanity, or your cute cat impersonations. We have spent far too much time looking at pictures of distended anuses and being tricked into watching Rick Astley videos. There is no hope.

Cynicism and resignation are not specific to any generation! They are as old as language itself. I think they were the first two words of Sumerian that were translated. (I made that up.)

It is ALWAYS counterintuitive to speak of things actually making a difference, or being what they seem. You want to be moved. I hear it! But you don't trust it. I will land flat on some of the readership, but who knows who may be brought alive, if only enough to hope for the possibility of possibility?

The machinery of being human is designed for one purpose only: Survival. This we are expert at! How do I know? 'Cause we're all here! Cynacism and resignation are good for surviving life. But if you ever want to really live, you gotta give 'em up! And I don't care what your age or technological awareness, that ain't normal for a human to do! But it is the only door available to go from surviving life to thriving and living life.

I have commited my life to bringing this about for everyone I can. Commitments like that call me to choose against the resigned asshole I otherwise would be, and make a difference. There only is no hope when you say so. Good news, you can always say differently.

(He called my cat impersonations cute!)

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

kitty!

Meow?

Our bodies are given life from the midst of nothingness. Existing where there is nothing is the meaning of the phrase, "form is emptiness." That all things are provided for by nothingness is the meaning of the phrase, "Emptiness is form." One should not think that these are two separate things...oh, *cough*, sorry, I mean: Meow!

nono, it's
"He thinks I'm cuuuuuuute!!!" [flips in the air]

Now, now. Chat Botte' has love enough for everyone!

(But he is a little confused by a dude with a girl cat avatar, and a lady with a boy cat one. He will only be briefly deterred by this from making a complete arse of himself with both of them, ultimately ending up in a catnip induced coma wondering how it all went sooo wrong.)

Wanna come up and see my etchings (on tuna can lids)?

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I'll bring some catnip-jazz cigarettes!

CAN'T GET RID OF THE BOMB! TO MANY ADORABLE CATS!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Toooooo.....maaaannnnyyy......caaaaaaaat.....iconnnnsssss.....AGGGGHHHH

Clarisse thinks Rudolph's cute!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Dad! Please calm down!

Remember what Dr. Finkelstein said!

RRRR RRRRR! That just makes me SO mad! SO so mad!!! FRITTATA!!!!

Wow, a pussy fest!

I'm imagining this rap stage, and lech gets up, does some mouth stuff, blaat-ba-ba-blaat, ratta-tat-tat:
I say cynicism and resignation
are not specific
to any generation!

What is this "rap" of which you speak?

I didn't read any of that apart from "Thank you for reading." I was like, "No problem."

That's cool. I'd rather be skipped then skimmed.

Yup.

Yeah, I don't think I could have said it better than vorrishnikov. Like I hope you live in a place that is dark 18 hours of the day. And please don't offer any alternative excuses, that's just awkward for everyone.

Are you really entertaining his presence?

Yeah, don't talk to alreadyinuse, it just encourages him. It is like every children's horror story: Your belief makes him stronger.

He's the first poster I've ever ignored.
I guess I'm all grown up now.

And covering your head with the bedsheets of Irreverent Sarcasm will force him back into the Closet of Ignore-dom.

Not bad, but you should have had Dromiceiomitina say something.

A hearty ignore! Fuck off now.

Off of your mother's bed.

...I jumped after our sexual romp.

BOOM.

shackalacka?

lacka boom boom.

BOOM! Shake shake shake the room?

Look, I've said this already. All I want to do is a zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom. And maybe shake the rump. Is that too much to ask, goddammit? We came all this way, after all.

tick tick
tick tick
BOOM

AAAAAhhh!!!

SHAKE EVERYYBODY SING IT NOW SHAKE ONE MORE TIME I SAY SHAKE EVERYBODY SAY IT NOW SHAKE

Ooh aah just a little bit ooh aah a little bit more.

GAO GAO GAH OOH BUGGA BUGGA
GAO GAO GAH BOO SHIGGA BUGGA
What do you expect, a rrrrubber biscuit?

Hilarious!

Duly noted. And now he is the also my first ignore. Dang, but that felt good. %u2665

...note to self: hearts don't work here.

Note: %u2665 equals "heart" in BB Code.

AIU has popped more ignore cherries than hedonismbot has with rape cherries.

Yum! I like cherries!
Are they better than masochio?

(That's a good pun, SJE! Have a chubby!)
(Thanks, friends! I try so hard to impress you! I love you guys.)
(We love you too.)
*hug*

Aww, that's so cute! *Squishhug*

Stacks OOOOOONNNNNN!

GROUP HUG!

Okay, but I warn you: I have all kinds of shit on my hands.

(What would Kate say?)

I love kate

I kinda sorta like Kate, as well.

She's fine in her own right, I suppose, but I wouldn't say that I necessarily love the girl.

Although you do. DOUBLE TALK.

In my defense, the girls didn't know it was rape at the time I was doing it.

In their defense, they were mostly on Ambien

Whiteturtle wrote: "Yeah, don't talk to alreadyinuse, it just encourages him. It is like every children's horror story: Your belief makes him stronger."

I believe in all of you, including AIU. And I am fully self-expressed. So I will decline your request, and talk to him whenever I feel inclined. It is my hope that it will make him stronger (something I think we'd all pull for if we got what that really entailed). But thank you for asking.

Let me opportune this communication to acknowledge you for some of the brilliance I have seen you generate in the short time you have been back. It has been a wonder to behold. I can see how clearly you were missed while not internetable. Thank you!

It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pain or pity or remorse.

But if it bleeds, we can kill it, right?

I agree but I'm not going to treat lechabotte the same as a troll. He's just being optimistic, not trolling.

Hey y'all. Heard my name being mispronounced.

So, if I get ya' straight, guitarhero buddy, you're saying that what you don't get must be stupid? And that you will get me to heel with threats of being ignored? Man, I sure remember being young and thinking I knew it all!

Now I'm older, I really get that I don't know much, and that knowing really isn't a very powerful place to be. I hope you'll try "getting" this next part (not understanding it, just "getting it).

Trolls is trolls. And they can be found in the same place as cats in boots. Story books!

But this is not a story book! This is your one and only life. Every moment is precious. None of them come back again. Every time you dehumanize another human being to any degree, you destroy workability for yourself now, and into the future. What does it mean? Just more and more things on your list of what you want in life get pushed further and further away from today, and closer and closer to that "someday" that comes two days after you're pushing up daisies. You really don't have time for it!

Also, I'm not here to change anything, or anyone. The more you change things, the more they haven't really changed. I'm here to have a conversation. In the end, the only two things that we ever really have in life are the eternal millisecond that is "right now" and the conversations we fill those "nows" with. There is nothing else!

And these words we use have power like we don't even begin to realize sometimes. When you say, "Troll!", you create something. Then you resist it, and it gains power and persists. When I say, "No, human being.", then I create something else. Then I accept him just the ways he is and just the ways he ain't.

Now, one of two things will happen. If he really is a human being who wants to shock, terrorize, cause fear, feel all powerful and cool because of what he can do here, he ain't going to get what he needs from being accepted and loved. He will leave. A feared and ignored "troll" is much more powerful than a loved and accepted misbehavin' youth!

But if instead he is (and I believe this to be so) a young man dealing with what it is to be human in the best ways he knows how, treating him with love and respect will inspire him to live up being "human", instead of down to being a "troll". Chubbies and lames, a gentle nudge ("That was a bit over the line."), honest requests ("please don't do that anymore.") - we can't help but see more of the brilliance that he possess, and less of the bored playing around to see what will happen. But this only works if he is sincerely accepted and loved!

Either way, he wins, the community wins, life itself wins.

I know your smart, Guitarhero. I've read your posts. I get why a lot of this may sound like hoowie. It sure don't jive with what the world's been teaching ya'! Just try it on. You don't have to believe it, or accept it or anything. Just try it. It either works, or it don't.

Authentically: if you ignore me into the JIA, and all the people I love here turn their back on me, it really wouldn't arrive for me as a harm. I'm still in the conversation, even if all I can do is be the listener. And I'll still leave cat paw prints all over the place so that if anyone ever unignores me, they can have a laugh. Who I am doesn't require you to hear it for me to be it.

Invidious has made an assessment of what a real troll would be like. No human being is made of such stuff. You give away too much power when you make someone a troll.

Nice-on-water thinks I'm just optimistic. There is some of that, but really, I'm not being optimistic about any of you. I just see you differently then you see yourselves. It is not optimistically. It is who you really are. And who I really am. If you choose to see what I see, you can not help but be what I am.

I hate to whip out the tl;dr, but I only searched for my name. Honestly, some things don't deserve the amount of thought we give them.

Agreed! I just rate life as being one thing worth it.

I'm not your buddy, pal.

Some people don't want to play "south park references".

But I never get to!

Also, as far as I'm concerned lechatbotte is a troll because his posts are always INSANELY LONG and have nothing to do with any conversation ever in the history of conversations and are also unnecessary.

I'm not going to get into the LCB debate (not a troll, just wordy), but I wanted to point out that little buddy-pal-friend-etc thing is NOT a South Park thing by origin. It greatly predates South Park. It is classic. It is welcome. It just needs to be set up better than up above.

GuitarHero:

Look around, buddy: most of my posts are one or two line zingers. I'm not afraid to expound when needed. Feel free to skip any of it that don't suit ya'!

All of it? There's a word for that: IGNORE.

If ya' wish. Such things hurt you worse than they do me. Either way, I'll keep on enjoying you just the way you are!

What the flock? This is way too heavy for Internets. Sound like a youth pastor or some sort of new age stuff. Keep 'em short, make a joke, and move on. The urge to save our fellow beings is a good one, but don't bore them to death in the process. Serve as an example, rather than droning on and on.

Not a youth paster, nor a new age guru, and I'm not sure I like being compared to one!

But really, (egads!) did I actually drone? Euh.

Oh my eyes and limbs, what do you want? Oh my lungs and liver, what do you want? Oh goroo, goroo!

All I wanted to know is if you wanted to buy a jacket?

(And I never thought of you as a tosspot who would make a deal with the devil, but if that's what your trying to say. . . .)

oh god.. crushed.. under lengthy diatribe... must read whole thing to survive...

Not a diatribe, but yeah a bit long. (It didn't feel that long writing it, then I hit "post" and found out I'd written the great American novel. Sorry about that!)

So, did you survive? I hope it wasn't too brutal. . .

PROTIP: The alt text is implying that Ray would eventually want Tina to go out like Sylvia Plath.

The Iron Crow?

Thank you octafish, may I have another.

Well, as of this moment, you're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!

*GASP*

...Crab Louie?

It is a lettuce-based cold salad with crab meat.

That sounds delightful compared to my meal in front of me, which I can't really name (there's a name for it, but it's not exactly what it should be).

My University cafeteria salsbury steak with lima beans which appear to have something in them that I can only pray is bacon say Hi.

(I'm so scared it isn't bacon)

I had a lo mein type thing...I think. They had corndogs but as I walked past them I gagged at the thought of eating it, especially from a college (university) cafeteria.

My caf is good.

Topped the list in the country.

Don't look it up, stalkers.

I will find it and I will go to it and I will eat the food from it.

I work there as well.

Please do not get me fired.

Oh no, now I definitely gave away too much information.

Oh goddamn. Oh godDAMN.

I will find that house and I will go to that house and I will eat the food from that house.

No!!!

Well, at least call her up and ask her if you can come over. I mean, she might as well be prepared.
603-523-2989

I will call that number and I will find the location of that number and I will eat the food at that number's location.

Nice-on-water: He likes food?

Tune in next time to find out, on

Celebrity Stories

Hush?
[IMGS OFF]

Thought I heard her calling my name now

Chee chop a woman and nawp nawp s'blain now.

Oh maaaaan, thank you very much for that flashback. V-chubby chubby chub.

What's this from?

from what is still the greatest show of all time.

It slant rhymes with "Duffy the Sandpiper Shaver".

Jump on his a-head!

Where do I know this image from?

Nothing worth remembering.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's a goomba from the super mario brothers movie (thank you, sparhawk, for jogging my memory). I haven't seen it since I was about 5 years old so I honestly don't know whether it's as bad as people say.

YES.
Thank you!
You are right.

It's worse than people say. It is a movie so bad that it is not possible under current linguistics to sufficiently describe its awfulness.

Unfortunately, it was released before it was cool to like really awful movies.

It's ten times better than Dante's Peak. That's how bad it is!

That's supposed to be a Goomba. How the hell is that a Goomba? Did you try throwing a shell at it? What happened? Did he turn flat? No, he didn't. He just stood there letting the blonde girls into the club and getting potato chip crumbs in your hair.

...Fuck out my face.

Why shave a sandpiper? Wouldn't it be easier to pluck it?

Thanks for the terrifying memories.

I watched this episode of Buffy for the first time yesterday and it was both terrifying and really really really good.

Hush!
[IMGS OFF]
Though I heard her calling my name now...

Agh! NO. That was a terrible Batman story. Just awful.

It was like the whole show was like a joke or something.

Arg! NO. The Hush story. No one really dislikes the Adam West Batman. Tekende I didn't really like it either, but you say hush I say Dr. Thomas Elliot. It is how I roll.

What I want to know is what Ray was doing drinking Long Island Iced Tea. I mean, damn. Is he even allowed to be a homeboy anymore? I need to go get the rulebook. Brb, folks.

Unless he begins to it is clever and gunny to go around ordering drinks with dirty names then I say let him be.

at my college bar, they served Long Islands to female patrons in a curvy glass with a cherry, and to male patrons in a standard pint glass with no cherry. So I think it is OK for dudes to drink, as long as it's in the proper glass.

Tina ordered it for him. Homeboy's major drink is whatever his skirt buys for him.

I burned down my house to cook my Hot Pocket. That's like marrying Tina twice.

So that is what Talking Heads were going on about.

Aaaaaah-AH!
Hun-ger
::dao dao::
You need I need to pla-CATE it
::dao::

etc

How'd the Hot Pocket turn out?

Ah, you know those things always cook uneven, even with the pocket. You know how they do.

Actually I would just inspect it at eye-level for a few seconds then slide the whole thing out of the pocket, into my mouth in one piece, feel the intense heat, run around the kitchen screaming, then when it finally cools I chew it 3 or 4 times then swallow it all in one huge biley chunk of pepperoni, mozzarella, and crispy crusty tender flaky crust.

The only way to enjoy a Hot Pocket. See box for enjoying Lean Pockets.

Ugh... did I eat that or just... rub it all over my face?

Dammit, Steve!

I was praying that you would do this, Elbox, and I guess you heard my prayers.

Is it your birthday?

If only someone had heard your prayers that whole time you were trapped in hedonismbot's basement.

Don't tell me my whistlin' is good.

Whistlin's dead.

And we both

Know that.

Winkler does rule man, that's good stuff.

5) ???

Oh God but do I regret it.

Hitler's DNA just gets everywhere. And it's a bugger to get out.

FUCK TINA

good arc though ... so far?

It would be better if it didn't seem like today wraps it up. Ray and Beef need to confront the hell out of Tina.

It don't say "the end" at the end, so ?

Ah, but we all learned from the piano/soul-selling episode that it's not as clear as that, didn't we?

Reason for the ? instead of being sure.

People sometimes use the ? as an instrument of tone rather than punctuation, which, while linguistically DICK, is still quite effective.
Eg: "I have to go to the store."
"I thought you already went."
"Uh, no?"
That's what I thought you were doing.

True 'nuf?

Maybe?

Assetbar loves using it for all sorts of things cabr?n

This is my first arc since I discovered the comic, I think.
I mean, the first that I watched evolve from the beginning.

Well arc this, probie. (I've been watching DVDs of "Rescue Me")

Denis Leary is a god.

A shitty god who shits crappy comedy and overcompensates by yelling and talking about eating whales.

Fuck Dennis Leary.

Yes.

But I must say I authentically like his rants, even when they are way off!