i would rather get a vomiting triplet than a grateful dead cd,

now that i think about it a vomiting triplet would probably be the most ultimate gift ever.

As a man who once attempted to get into the Dead, I must do likewise. And I was even stoned at the time.

No.

Agreed. Coltrane's "Ascension" is pretty much a religious experience.

well, while I wouldn't necessarily call Coltrane's "Ascension" free jazz, I can see how it can be seen as that.

Actually I think it is just a lone eighth note.

I thought he was jamming them into his ears to prevent The Dead from getting in.

..it makes more sense your way.

the first two triplets are so happy, though. and then the third one had to rain on their parade by vomiting everywhere. or is it really a time lapse picture of the one note's devolution into projectile vomiting? i can't deide.

I know the matter's been defused already, but FYI: The police aren't allowed to perform a warrantless search without probable cause, and a sticker does not constitute probable cause.

And thats a chubby for you as i imagined it as you wrote it.

Exactly.

They don't really need probable cause if you're crossing the border from Canada. Canadian border guards are all "don't leave Canada without your free hug, brother" and the American ones are all "I CAN SMELL YOUR WEED FROM CANADA." Border guards are allowed to search your car or bum if they have suspicions.

The dancin' bears do not help.

Did Lyle get contacts?

that's achewater brotha!

Oh crap man. This is the second time I have accidentaly lamed a comment, due to being wasted. I am sorry. There are circumstances that have led to me being this trashed, through necessity. I assure you.

your lame gave someone else the confidence to do the same. you've started an avalanche!

Are you trying to destroy the brain cells that contain memories of Grateful Dead songs?

I think those neurons were wrecked with pot smoke and LSD to begin with.

Gloriously so, it is a shame I have to sacrifice them in this way...

They are the opposite of malignant, which is boringnant. They cause the rest of the nervous system to give up and die.

nah, he's sweaty and gross pretty often. i don't think that's exercise sweat, per se.

Lyle's just too drunk to be able to tell the difference between wearing his glasses and not wearing them. This is a condition that many nearsighted people, myself included, will be familiar with.

He doesn't always wear glasses, just when he cares about seein' things--like porn.

So you're saying you'd rather mail vomit to Assetbar than put up with this for one more second.

The angry Mr. Bear avatar really makes these.

Good show.

Does he have googly eyes on his ears, or what's the deal there?

Yes, Lyle glued them there while on an Achewater kick.

You probably already know this since that comment is a year old, but have a link: http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua2fM9MX

36 chubbies in two days, and well-deserved too. That is a damn fine modification right there.

Thank you, Doctor House. I will keep in mind that when it comes to auto-immune diseases it is very rarely lupus.

It is never lupus.

i have lupus

how could you have lupus if its never lupus. LIAR.

The angry Mr. Bear's eyes look like stoned eighth notes colliding into one another at a Dead concert. Oops, sorry Dude- eh.

The Doctor has diagnosed Assetbar with herpes. Should we be worried? Perhaps we can get a second opinion from Dr. Skradley. I'd heard he's an OB-GYN in training.

The training isn't official.

And it's a doctorate in metaphysical meteorology, interestingly enough. I inherited it.

OK, christ almighty. I know it's late and all, but really, why doesn't this have more chubbies? Come on!

PS that was me using jc's name in vain because I feel strongly about something, not because I really believe in anything.

I made a few typos. That's enough for more than a few lames. We gots out standards here, schmix.

You are an incredible writer. I always assume Assetbar posts are made within three-five minutes of their initial beginning, sometimes ten if they look really refined. This looks like some fifteen minute shit right here. This looks like effort. What we need more of is effort.

P.P.S. You are a toilet seat that smokes a cigar / forever that is what you are / a toilet seat that smokes a cigar. The End.

I actually think "Don%u2019t" goes perfectly with this strip

I think that's a dulcimer.

I actually thought it was a laud:
[IMGS OFF]

Must say I was a little confused with the avatars and thought you were replying to yourself for a second

I liked the exchange better that way. He was like a character from a Jim Henson film.

the child with the power

what power?

Bouzouki Power.

WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!?

Now you're playing with power.

the power of the voodoo

Who do?

you do

Do what?

Voodoo.

Remind me of the babe.

Oh, god. Most cringe-worthy Bowie performance ever ever ever, on this or any other possible world.

Two words: "Tin" and "Machine."

A million times YES.

Although let's be fair: not EVERY Tin Machine song is horrible. "I Can't Read," "Baby Universal," "Baby Can Dance," and "Bus Stop" are actually pretty good.

i was confused as well, until i changed my avatar and ruined everything.

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

JABBA JABBA

I search for bands who can perfect that meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

Damn, just when I was gearing up for another cat cock strip

I guess I'm getting the rod, after all. If that was offensive to the Onstad-o-philes, you can relax, people. It was just a "stupid t-shirt" joke. On the other hand, maybe you took it as a stupid "t-shirt" joke. Fair enough.

I don't think anyone was offended. I think they just thought it wasn't funny.

I thought it was kinda funny, not really funny, but not lameable.

Oh well, better luck next time.

Thanks. It seems for many folks, when I'm not funny, I'm annoying. And I'm never funny.

I liked it. "Use a word that doesn't refer to a wang in a context where it does mean wang" type jokes always get me. I still have fond memories of the FFXI auto-translator.

<Incredibly Tough> <Rod> <in> <Pants> <Please help!>

But I like Friend of the Devil. :-(

Though it's true, the Grateful Dead is what happens when hundreds of people do acid. It isn't something we should support as a society.

Then what does that make Uncle John's Band - my favorite song of theirs?

most songs off American Beauty are pretty fun.

To be honest, no oone needs to see a keyboard to type things so long as they know how to type. For instance, I typed this entire message with my eyes closed.

(Damn. Two 'o's on the one. But still! That's pretty decent!)

I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that your avatar is homestar and you are talking about a character typing with/without an accessory.

whoops, make that "homsar"

Fair play to you, sir. Chubby.

Spot-on.

HA! Perfect.

However, swapping random nouns does in fact give you your mafia name. (Jimmy Phone Calls, anyone?)

Louie Melon-Baller. Tony Donut-Free. Frankie Mop Handle. Bobby Foreigner Songs. All fine and serviceable names.

The four remaining jurors think the dissenter is full of crock, and refuse to participate in the farce.

However, when a traveling diamond smuggler arrives in town, little do they realize that they will all become wrapped up in the wildest adventure of their lives, and learn a little about one another - and themselves - along the way. Nominated for four Academy Awards, winner of two.

"Gregory Peck, in a career making role ... presents a tour de force guaranteed not to disappoint!" - Life Magazine

Chubbied because I just bought a shiny new Sandman book.

Nice, was just re-reading The Kindly Ones the other day for no specific reason at all.

Also see Ability Man and The Earl Grey Incident starring Orlando Bloom. I hear they're good.

I'm seeing Moonstruck with Cher and Nicholas Cage.

John Wayne looks like Rodney Dangerfield here. Kinda creepy.

A little Jack Lemon too for sure

Chubbied because I saw LBJ as well.

I hope this chubby is ample compesnation for the loss of an entire day.

And I did of course mean 'compensation'.

Nixon looks sort of like an elderly Moe from the Three Stooges here.

Actually, wouldn't this movie be great if all those actors behaved like Moe from the Three Stooges regardless of plot, for no particular reason whatsoever? I know I'd watch.

The work is Worthwhile. Chub'd.

Richard Nixon's in it! I loved that guy in Batman!

i loved that guy's presidency!

Really?

not from a party political stand point, but he's an absolutely fascinating figure, ending the war in vietnam, visiting Mao's china, the whole watergate palava. Beyond the whole "Lol hes the jowly guy whos in futurama" he's probably one of the most intriguing 20th century presidents (which is a tough call)

Plus when you ehar him swear on the watergate tapes its blooming hillarious.

*hear, I have the grammatical and typing competence of an amoeba with special needs.

So what you're saying is that you love his presidency in the sense that you find it entertaining, as opposed to the conventional sense of it being, like, you know, good for the country and stuff. At least I hope that's what you're saying.

Do you actually hope that that is what he is saying? ...He is old enough to vote.

Better that than genuinely admiring Nixon's presidency...

Exactly, and chubbied for your avatar.

Nevermind, apparently I've been too friendly :-(

I suppose entertaining would describe it, though i'd say it was more interesting than amusing. His presidency says a lot about america and it had huge repurcussions, would i have voted for the man though?

Probably not as i'm not too fond of republicans/tories/ostrogoths (whatever you call a right winger) but at the time he looked like he had a pretty good resume, former vice president, Distinguished naval record, a shrewd and well informed eye for foriegn affairs, and he was meant to be a pretty good poker player back in his day. it's easy to look back with hindsight and think "How the hell did they let that man in to run the country" but back then he probably seemed the best of a bad bunch.

You ever seen the movie Secret Honor? You might want to check it out, if not. Philip Baker Hall as Nixon going crazy in an empty office for 90 minutes, monologuing on his life and America. Good stuff!

Nixon, in his first foray into the acting world, plays a grizzled and brooding career Poker champion.

(Peck plays a heroic journalist with no outstanding flaws. Eastwood plays an ex-marine school bus driver. Caine plays a reclusive master of origami. Presley plays a local motorcycle-riding vigilante-fireman. Wayne plays an outspoken pastor with a seemingly-insurmountable fear of dogs. Connery plays James Bond. Sir Ustinov plays a man with a mustache.)

The perfect culmination to an awesomely hilarious thread. Well done--ALL of you. I salute you.

.. There is no John Major. The United Kingdom is offended. You just got yourself a withdrawn ambassador.

John Major was occaisionally truthfull

Like when he refered to most of his cabinet as "Bastards" which to be fair they were... though maybe not for the reasons he gave.

haha

there a few more than that. Hunter S Thompson, for one.

Shit, there are lizards on the floor.

I didn't mean that those were the only good things from the sixties. Those are just my favorites.

The sentence reads that that was exactly what you meant.

also, me.

Good call. These days, they haven't been given the edgy status of Zappa and gonzo journalists, but it doesn't mean that they should be taken for granted.

Some more rad things from the 60's that haven't already been mentioned:
The Rolling Stones
The Bergman films, Through a Glass Darkly and Shame
The Civil Rights Act
JFK
"I Have a Dream"
Tab cola

Man now I want to re-read 1968: The Year That Rocked the World.

I completely agree with your band preference but I am usually hesitant to voice my opinion. Doing so usually results in some condescending lecture about how the Beatles are directly responsible for every last note and lyric of every good song written by any band anywhere in the last several decades.

I don't deny their talent but I think their influence is often greatly overstated and they wouldn't have been nearly as successful without a heaping dose of the right place/right time effect.

Which effect the Kinks sufferred an unfair lack of.

Kinks > Beatles has so been my mantra forever!!! OMG AcheWorld we are all so like soul sisters at the same tea party!!!1111 <3

Sorry for that last thing. Seeing that Kinks/Beatles comparison on the internet, typed by someone who was not me, made me go sort of valley-girly.

Totally.

This condescension you speak of irks me greatly as well, though I like the Beatles and the Kinks equally. I will wholly concede that they're both better than the Stones. Not that the Stones are BAD, persay; they're actually one of my favorite bands. But when it comes to sheer quality I always turn to Arthur before Let It Bleed. And perhaps before that I'd go for the White Album. Your point stands tall, though. The Beatles, grand as they are, have been highly overrated by their most zealous of fans.

Not that the hardcore Kinks fans aren't (as they most assuredly are) arrogant douchebags who overrate their band with aplomb, but as there are fewer Kinks fans their condescending tittering is easy to brush off. You can't really ignore the legions of Lennon, though; those glorious but nigh incoherent bastards sitting aloof as they constantly criticize everyone's taste in music and extol the virtues of "Oh Yoko" on a populace weary of their poppycock. No, I agree heartily. These fellows are of a base quality, and conspiring with them makes me feel like I need a shower.

I'd rather get a Star Wars tattoo than keep them as pen pals!

Whew! OK, doc. I think it may be time to give that Spongebath avatar a spin.

Bollocks. I like this avatar.

Perhaps in a few comics.

Man, nuts to the Lennon worshippers, I'm all about the George Harrison's tunes.

All Things Must Pass > Imagine.

BY MILES.

It would be condescension if I stated that the Kinks were better than the Beatles as a fact. But the tone of my post above is one more just of personal preference.

Oh, and Connie would know that the term is "per se," not "persay." That's just crass. Ciao.

Breaking from my persona for a minute: I wasn't referring to you with the Kinks line. You seem like a pretty cool dude! I was talking more about the fact that EVERY band has their obsessively crazy fans and the Kinks are no exception but because their fanbase is smaller the efficacy of their angry hordes is greatly lessened, and they're overall more agreeable because of it.

Sorry for any misunderstanding, Mr. Exemplary Oak Structure.

Don't forget the jazz. Coltrane, Mingus, Miles, Diz, Ornette Coleman, etc. All active in the '60's.

Miles Davis' best albums were before the 60's (Kind of Blue, Porgy and Bess, Round Midnight, the gerund albums) or barely in it (Sketches of Spain, Bitches' Brew). While Mingus had many great albums in the 60's (The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady, Mingus Mingus Mingus), his two best, Mingus Ah Um, and Blues and Roots were in the 50's. Coleman's best stuff was in the 60's and Diz had some good stuff there too, but all the rest of those I'd say are associated with either the 50's or 70's, mostly the former.

Now, Jazz in the 60's was Stan Getz, the above-mentioned Coleman, Chick Korea, Herbie Hancock, and Sun Ra.

Giant Steps and My Favorite Things. '60 and '61. That's all I have to say.

SUN RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

now you're talkin', brokeaccount.

[IMGS OFF]
"Ancient Spirits of Evil..."

Probably more likely to see that outfit at a George Clinton show, though.

Black Saint and the Sinner Lady IS Mingus's best album. You sir, are mistaken.

Other good things from the Sixties:

Astral Weeks
First three Velvet Underground albums
The Doors
Dr. Strangelove
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Crying of Lot 49

Agreed about Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. Though he himself has said Tijuana Moods was his best.

i wish i still had my hard copy of "black saint..." because i'm pretty sure the liner notes said something along those same lines (him considering it his best)...

White Light White Heat is all anyone ever needs to know about the 60's or drugs, and especially drugs in the 60's

Why is the crying of lot 49 so much better than gravity's rainbow? it is a genuine question.

gravity's is good, too. just harder to get into than crying.

Sun Ra died on my birthday.

As did Joan of Arc, Voltaire, Wilbur Wright, and Perry Ellis.

Fuck.

Oh dear. While attempting to append items to your list of jocularities, it seems Assetbar neglected to post my list. This is a new offense, Assetbar, and it will be noted and reciprocated harshly at a later date. Good thing I copied it before I posted it, just in case.

King Crimson
Eric Clapton, Cream, and the Yardbirds
Robert F. Kennedy
Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita
Tom Stoppard (ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD)
Slaughterhouse Five and Cat's Cradle
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
The Left Banke.

The 60s were a relatively jolly time to be alive, I would imagine.

The Master and Margarita... good call on that one. Though the version from the 60's was still heavily censored I hear. Also, is Andrew Lloyd Webber still doing a musical based on it? That scares me a bit.

WHA?!?!?!?! Please tell me that was a form of sarcasm that I can't perceive right now because I'm very tired. Otherwise, I might have a coronary.

Unfortunatley, no. As far as I can tell there hasn't been any news since he anounced it. http://www.playbill.com/news/article/101650.html

What about drug use? Also, having sex without the risk of AIDS.

Hey! By your description, it's like the '60s in my apartment! Every day! I use drugs and I have sex without the risk of AIDS, as the person I have sex with is not in possession of AIDS!

Peace out!

And Mike Gravel!

For once, Assetbar is awesome. Due to the comment layout, I read the following:

Quote:
Quote:

This makes me smile.

I also noticed that and enjoyed it greatly.

Really? Every time I see Mike Gravel I make a face like I stepped in something.

Are you high, boheeka?
The Who, Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Cream, CSNY, The Kinks, Janis Joplin, The Byrds, The Velvet Underground, and that's just what I could come up with off the top of my head in about two minutes.

Bowie was more 70s than 60s, though. The only stuff he released in the 60s (with the exception of the track "Space Oddity") was folksy pap that really wasn't very good. Bowie didn't even begin to hit his stride until 1971.

Bowie was a bit of a stretch, I'll agree, but he technically started in the 60s, so I left him on the list. I definitely agree that his best stuff was in the early 70s, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is my favorite rock album of all time.

Wow, really? As good as that album is, I personally think he's done better. IMO, Diamond Dogs and "Heroes" are both better, as is Heathen (though that was 30 years later). Even The Man Who Sold the World has moments better than anything on Ziggy, although Ziggy is better on the whole.

Still, I salute you for good taste, sir.

Heathen? Better then Ziggy Stardust?

Really, Tekende?

I think so, yes. But it's not an entirely fair comparison--they're very different albums.

But are you really going to deny that tracks like "Slip Away," "Everyone Says Hi," "Heathen (The Rays)," and the cover of Pixies' "Cactus" are better than at least some of the songs on Ziggy? I mean, yeah, there's some great songs on Ziggy. The title track, "Five Years," "Moonage Daydream," "Starman"...but there's also some stuff that's really not that great. "Hang on to Yourself" is passable, while the cover of "It Ain't Easy" is pretty bad.

This is getting too long. I'm not saying Heathen is, like, WAY better than Ziggy. But I think it's a little better. I will mention that Heathen took a very long time to grow on me, and Ziggy didn't. The latter is certainly more accessible.

However, Heathan didn't have any stunners on it. The good on Heathan is at least as good as the good on Ziggy, and the bad on Heathan is better than the (2 songs that are) bad on Ziggy. But the great of Heathan pales starkly in comparison to the great of Ziggy. The great on Heathan (forthwith, "Heathan (The Rays)," "Slow Burn," and "I Would Be Your Slave") combined aren't half of what "Ziggy Stardust" is, nevermind that the other greats ("Suffragette City," "Soul Love," "Star") are tremendous, not to mention more numerous than the ones on Heathan.

Look, I catch a lot of flak from other Bowie fans for including Heathan in his top ten (it's 10th, in my book), but it just isn't Ziggy.

There is nothing "pretty bad" or even just "passable" on Ziggy. It's among the most cohesive and well-conceived rock albums every committed to tape.

We will agree to disagree. Good day.

Whatever man. Ziggy Stardust isn't even a real person. I for one am tired of the fakery and the nonsense that goes on in the music "biz". Fie upon these uppity teens and their Good Dashboards what with their Charlotte Confessionals! Fie!

I skip "It Ain't Easy" almost every time I listen to Ziggy. But that's just me.

Yeah, me too. I find that to be somewhat of a consensus, actually.

ya'll some history nerds

His only 60's album worth any mention was Space Oddity. All of his best stuff came in the late 70's (Station to Station, The Berlin Trilogy), as far as I'm concerned.

Space oddity is a damn good album but ' stardust swings it for me with its inclusion of "Starman", what a song.

they should really just make Bowie king, it doesnt matter whether you "even like kings" it would be a good idea.

Agreed. I'd forgotten Station to Station earlier, but I think I might consider that my favorite Bowie album, although Heathen comes awfully close.

Space Oddity is really only worth mention for its title track.

Well, I don't know about only. "Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed" and "Janine" are decent tracks. But yeah, the rest of that album is pretty, ecgkh.

"Janine" is good, you're right. I discovered that a few weeks ago when it popped up on shuffle. I had somehow previously ignored it, but on that listen I was all tapping my hands on the steering wheel, nodding with the beat, all goin' "this is pretty cool."

I also like "Don't Sit Down," but it's pretty much a throwaway track, so I don't think it counts for much.

It's kind of like a proto-"Soul Love."

as much as i love the dead, tapping one's foot to an incoming fax is too damn funny...

I hate them and I think tapping one's foot to an incoming fax is funny.

But Teodor, The Grateful Dead is silly! It is silly to like The Grateful Dead!

Tanqueray is for SQUARES, Man.

As anyone knows, Tanqueray is only acceptable at poolside. And I hope I don't have to remind you that The Grateful Dead are absolutely inappropriate for such a setting.

If you can't do the math, I'll tell you that you either need to turn off The Dead and get yourself to the pool or stay where you are and pick up that there bottle of Old Crow, The Official Beverage of Sitting by Yourself in a Dark Room Listening to Grateful Dead Albums.

Thank you for your compliance.

Also, I understand that Mr. Peanut is not an actual dancing peanut but rather an assemblage of clever photography, cellulose and ink.

Does Mr. Peanut end every single commercial with "I'm Mr. Peanut," as though knowing this is a special, special privilege?

Sad, when you think about it.

I think it's a disclaimer for those with peanut allergies.

I gave that addendum to the rusty bikes line my last chubby for this strip. It was completely well-deserved. You have made me smile heartily, and I thank you for it.

Tony Sinclair is my hero, I want to be just like him. I first bought Tanqueray Rangpur solely because he endorsed it on TV. I now buy Tanqueray Rangpur because it is delicious, but it was Tony Sinclair who convinced me to buy it in the first place, and I thank him for that.

I like Tony Sinclair, but it, like my enjoyment of delicious, delicious Rangpur, is based largely on a practically nascent brand loyalty to Tanqueray in general. Although their vodka is simply awful.

Yeah, I don't have a problem with their product (thought I do think Tanq 10 is overpriced), it's just that they had to make up a fake celebrity to sell it, like he's some sort of modern day Truman Capote. I don't like Shaq telling me what sort of drain cleaner or hemorrhoid medicine to buy, but inventing a famous person seems way more irritating. When I first saw those ads I thought, "Oh, I guess he's a fashion designer? Or something?" But no. It's just a complete crock of shit.

I did appreciate it when they had Bruce Campbell try to get me to buy Old Spice.

You know who doesn't need a fake celebrity....Bombay Sapphire. That's the gin that sells its own damn self.

Bombay Sapphire is nice, but it also has really, really awesome commercials. They must have production budgets miles high. The last one I saw was of some lavish tent out in the desert, and when they opened the bottle everyone in the tent started floating around and dancing with streamers flying through the air...

That never happened to me when I drank Bombay, the most I did was fall down two successive flights of stairs, but the commercial is cool.

My two cents- Hendrick's and tonic with lime and cucumber. Had it for the first time last week and it blew my mind. So delicious, so subtle. Try it. Muddle the cucumber and lime first.

Actually, just the cucumber. The lime is almost an afterthought, a bit of tart to wake the palette. Don't even squeeze it, just drop it in there. But do muddle the cumber.

If I said all that while breathing heavily, it could be a really strange phone sex fetish.

"You have the cucumber? Is it big? Yeah. That's good."

Oh baby. Muddle that cucumber hard... and get a little rind in there if you're feeling dirty.

Huh...sounds interesting.

Re: muddling a cucumber - exactly how does one do this? Just squash it a little with like the back of a spoon or similar?

Just bruise it to get the flavors into the drink, however that may be. Maybe break it up with your hands before garnishing? A tiny squirt of cucumber juice would be better, but you'd need a Jack Lalane number or a lack of other significant interests to do that.

I like Hendricks best straight and ice cold. Tonic interferes with it's incredible flavors, vermouth cancels out the flavor so a martini's out.

Given my interest in Gin, I'm going to have to look into this one. I've been a Bombay loyalist for ages, but it never hurts to try something different once in a while.

Well, I've been a Tanqueray loyalist forever -- it's in my blood (figuratively and literally!) -- but I have given every gin on the rack a thorough checking, by thorough I mean full dissemination of at least 3 bottles or a handle, whichever cheaper. And I do mean "every," even "Poland Spring Gin" and "Five O'Clock Gin."

FYI, Gilbey's is $15 a handle and is actually good enough to make a martini with. A shallow, uncomplicated martini, but a martini nonetheless.

I am going to agree with the Hendricks recommendation. It is awesome; subtle, powerful, fruity, spicy. Everything you want in a gin. It's one of my two favorite gins right now, with the Anchor Junipero. That is made on a hill in San Francisco, by the dudes that make Anchor Steam Beer. I am a huge fan of Anchor, because their rye whiskey (Old Potrero) is mind-blowing. Better, albeit in a totally different way, than most single malt scotches. Must be tried by anyone who likes whiskey.

But Hendricks is a major step up from Bombay. And I got started on gin by drinking Bombay, so I appreciate the stuff. Damn. I am going to go buy some Hendricks now since I seem to be running low on gin.

I liked the samurai warrior perfectly fashioning an ice cube. Bombay's astronomic ad budget is not even mentioning their lavish and widespread print ads.

Hendrick's is like getting a lap dance in your mouth.

In a good way.

If I go to buy gin these days, I almost always get Hendricks. You are never disappointed.

I have to have a variety of gin at hand for their myriad purposes and characters. I have a handle of Tanqueray for martinis, a bottle of Beefeater for Tonics and birc-a-brac, a bottle of Gibley's for miscellaneous mixing purposes (such as a G&T for when I'm too drunk to notice the difference between Beefeater and Gibley's), a bottle of Rangpur, and two bottles of Hendricks, one in the cabinet and one in the freezer.

GodDAMN I wish I had a chubby to give you for that first paragraph. I'm in tears here, all trying to laugh without making noise at work.

Kudos for use of "swan" as a verb. I like that.

Still enjoying the beverage and the band, still not caring.

I applaud your resolve.

T?odor's musical taste is grievously painful to me.

as someone who enjoys pretty much any terrible thing the 60s had to offer, even i vomit on sight when it comes to the grateful dead. joints all rolled up in his santa, wearin' just a poncho (a sears poncho) and a smile. ]:0( This strip though was pretty much worth the wait even though I was working with the Pat/Rod maybe cross-over.

hell of apt alt-text

Teodor's grandmother seems to be holding onto the very little bag of vomit.
Oh man Grateful Dead look what you have done you have strained a relationship between a disillusioned teddy bear and his grandmother.

This strip speaks nothing but pure frigging truth.

I'm really glad I'm blazed right now, because that made it about ten brazillion times better.

Gilberto Gil, the Minister of Culture, has been known to blaze it up with the best of them. So that's at least A Brazilian.

Also: Loneal, consider yourself stalked.

I feel scared, and...and tingly.

I tried to stalk you just now, but either you don't have a Facebook, or I suck at stalking. Does your last name start with a P?

Nay. An M. And the first letter is an F. Forget it. You'll see me. I'll be the guy with the T-shirt that says "I'm your internet stalker."

I would just like to point out that a single person wasted, like, all their lames on this little conversation of ours. Someone feels very strongly about Brazilians and stalking. Maybe they were confused and thought we were talking about Brazilian waxes and stockings, reprehensible tools of the patriarchy.

Purely for the anti patriarchal comment

Bra-zillllll...where hearts were entertained in spriiiiinnngg...

I will never hear that song again without being instantly reminded of her.
[IMGS OFF]
And it is well.

We need that guy with the screaming Phillipe avatar to scream at this.

Who/what is that?

It's Katherine Helmond in Brazil. Terry Gilliam's finest hour.

(I'm wondering that too but I didn't want to admit I don't know by asking.)

Watch this movie.

What he said.

I have seen it. That is why I quoted the song. It's just been a while, and I don't remember that woman being in it.

Watch this movie again.

Is this good enough, wittyname?

Maybe if you were screaming, but it's still no screaming Phillipe.

Renee Zelwiger?

Weger. DAMMIT. Weger.

DAMMIT WEGER YOU KNOW IT'S SPELLED WITH TWO L'S AND AN E

that song always makes me kind of sad.

comics about pop culture

Oh come on: the Dead are hardly 'pop culture' anymore. If they are, then trilobites are pop. I bet trilobites had some great tunes back in the preCambrian.

Trilobites!

CAVEmen...CAVEwomen...

TROGlodytessss...

A FIVE: a very palpable FIVE!

At least three things that had me rolling off my chair, tangling in mirth.

Welcome back Mr Onsted.

Is this true? The two drummers at once thing, I mean.

Chubbied for Swans love.

are we all seriously talking about Swans? I never expected to see this on Achewood but YES they are my favorite band guuuuuys!

We are talking about Swans, and now I'm going to listen to them.

I have never listened to Swans, although I've thought for a long time now that I should. Perhaps I will remedy this soon. Not now though. I'm at work with no recourse to find their music at the moment.

I have a friend who is just crazily into them. Whenever he tried to play them for me, I could never decide whether I wanted to fall asleep in the corner or beat my own face to a pulp. They seem like a band whom one must love or hate. I've never met a "casual" Swans fan, nor have I met anyone who hated them just a little bit. It's all or nothin'.

I'd say I'm a pretty casual Swans listener. Their first few albums are GOLD bust as soon as they stopped being all junkie'd out and pissed off I thought they went downhill. I blame Jarboe.

Wow, even I'm surprised we're talking about Swans...maybe next time I'll mention Boredoms or the Residents.

Well, I stand corrected. There you are. Out there. Existing.

I listened to a couple of Swans songs last night. Not enough to give me a really good impression, but I thought what I heard was pretty decent.

Let me know when that Boredoms conversation rolls around.

May as well get the ball rolling on this one - I fucking hate The Boredoms. Discuss.

I have a longsleeve Swans T-shirt that is just a frail webbing of half-digested textiles smeared with the memory of graphic design.

I still wear it though.

Little Feat had a drummer -- Richie Hayward. They also had a percussionist Sam Clayton. In most concert gigs, Clayton played the bongos or a tympani-type thing It has another name, but it looks like an orchestral tympani. Jazz band use it). Of course, there was some overlap between the Dead and the Feat. If the Dead had a horn section, they'd sound a lot like the Feat. And the original Feat-guy himself, Lowell George (RIP) produced for the Dead.

Technically, he never said that they used them both onstage at the same time. Maybe the two just would always seem to show up complementarily and the rest of the band didn't realize.

This is a good idea.

Your opinion is valid--I even think I agree--but I lamed you for the parenthetical disclaimer afterward. Sorry.

Understandable, it was poorly-considered and if I could delete it now I would. Thanks for the honesty.

yeah it is

The best thing about the two drummers in The Dead is that they played the exact same fucking thing at all times! And that was one of the least ridiculous things about them!

That kind of thing can be surprisingly hypnotic to watch, though. I've seen bands with two drummers (Tortoise, select Pavement songs live, the Motown superband from Standing in the Shadows of Motown), often playing the same rhythm, or basically the same, and while it may seem musically pointless, it can be visually enticing.

I'm cool with this kind of thing if the drummers play totally different fills, or have a different approach to how they play the same rhythm. Might sound ridiculous, but the casualness/intensity/training of a drummer can change the hell out of the sound...compare Buddy Rich and Ed Shaughnessy in this drum battle. They play some similar bits but their approach to the instrument is totally different, particularly in their fills. It's damned fascinating, if I says so myself.

It can sound great. If you double-track a drum beat it sounds bigger, and if the drums play different things sometimes and then come together at other points... It sounds fucking excellent. A good example of this is the band Black Eyes who had two drummers, and on their first album especially it is insanely good to hear. One drummer mixed to the right channel, the other drummer mixed to the left. AWESOME.

Having two drummers really isn't that uncommon. Modest Mouse do it now, too. Though they kind of suck now. But that's not the point.

Didn't Rammstein have like twelve drummers at some point?

Not sure about that, but Boredoms had 77 drummers last year. Most notably, Andrew "Party" WK, and Brian Chippendale of Lightning Bolt fame. Search for 77boadrum on Youtube...there are some great examples of multi-drummer beats filling a space.

Speaking of Andrew W.K., I cannot wait for Lee "Scratch" Perry's next album, which AWK is producing. Doesn't sound like it would ever make sense but that is why it will be genius.

Oh, he's a genius producer. The albums he did back in the Michigan noise days are fucking ace, and that latest Sightings album sounded magnificent...production wise, at least. I couldn't stand most of the music on it, sadly.

I feel like AWK can bring back some of the roughness that made early Lee Perry great...imagine some of his newer dance-style numbers with the gritty, buried-in-a-weed-field feel of Super Ape.

Rammstien had 9 drummers.

They were called Dieter.

They were capable and performed their role with tutonic efficiency.

I'm pretty sure the Touch of Grey film clip features the two drummers.

With that last statement, Teodor may be on the verge of discovering Kraftwerk.

Yeah, "Europe Endless" is for sure a Thing on Teodor's iPod. and "Man Machine."

i once frightened a girlfriend into flight using only the music video for "we are the robots".

ah, youth.

Chubbied for the Jay Sherman avatar. And as for Touch of Grey, It Stinks!

I love how all mothers/grandmothers in Achewood look exactly the same. After you reach a cetain age, you have to get a pair of those snazzy glasses on a little chain round your neck.

It is not that they all look the same it is that the Mothers of Achewood enjoy cosplaying as The Golden Girls but whenever they get together, goddamn, why everybody always gotta be Sophia?

Note the lack of fathers in Achewood. The closest we've gotten is Philippe bellowing that he's met a man and Ramses, who's left in such a hard manner that he barely even counts.

Victory point - overeducation

We do know a little about Teodor's father

Which reminds me. If Teodor's parents come from Belarus, then shouldn't his grandmother also? She wouldn't have that kind of control over the English language, right?

Unless it's supposed to be translated - does Teodor speak Belarusian or Russian? Most of the children of immigrants that I know picked up the Russian language from their relatives. Have we ever seen him talk to Vlad?

I don't think he does; as that strip says, they came over before he was born, so he's a US lifer. Not saying he obviously couldn't have picked it up from his parents, but it's not like he grew up in the country or anything.

Also, as has been stated a few times (often by me), Vlad is most likely Polish (thought one time he is described just as "Slavic"), so even if T can speak Belorussian or Russian, he might not be able to converse with Vlad.

Holy shit did you know that this is a comic strip about animals (stuffed and non)?

I'm not going to bother looking this up, but it was implied that Phillipe's father died, and his mom was getting remarried.

Nevermind, I will bother.

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua7wsGt8

When it comes to Assetbar, everybody bothers.

You betta botha! Mmm hmm.

Dontchoo sass that Assetbar now. He gon' whup you bad like lass time.

Actually, we've seen Pats dad, Nice Pete has mentioned his, and Roast Beefs was shot to death by his mom. I can't think of any more

I must say I'm shocked this strip is currently so close to four, culture-reference-that-I'm-not-familiar-with or otherwise. Panel four made me laugh long and hard, and is one of the finest things I've seen in a great while. And I thought panels five and six would be a nice gentle descent and landing after that hopspot of hilarity, but they maintained the strip's momentum and kept me deeply amused to the last word.

I've been told that it's about the lifestyle and not the music. But I also believe deadheads are not to be trusted.

Apparently none of the songs they found on YouTube were from American Beauty.

I'm pretty lukewarm on most of the Dead's catalog, but American Beauty was an amazing album.

American Beauty and Working Man's Dead were both great albums, but, other than that, most of the Dead's music was mediocre at best

I was warmed by the blog entry that Chris put up and I'm glad he's feeling better.

You know, I had this weird notion that the strip would come back on Fuck you Friday with a big fuck you towards the flu, being loudly voiced by Phillipe but since it didn't, I figured I would just put this little seed here in hopes that Chris will read it.

I mean, you know how when someone tells you not to think about dinosaurs, all you can think about are dinosaurs?

Yeah. Like that, I guess. I'm rambling. Too much robotussin, must end assetbar post

yes, fuck the flu.
also fuck acute upper respiratory infections, which is what i've got.

it makes me lay in bed all day and stare at the blinds till i see stuff cause i'm not getting enought oxygen.

it also gives me a day off work.
but still.

Panel four is an accurate depiction of what it is like, trying to listen to the GD. Also, you can substitute plenty of modern Dead-inspired jam bands too, except instead of a lute, imagine a bongo drum or violin or some other instrument begging to not be overused by the members of Watermelon Follies or The Galactic Groove Experience whatever "wacky" name these sort of bands go by.

i suppose they deserve props, sure, but is it really unfair to dislike a band whose music you don't like? i see what you're saying, but typically the actual sound and pattern of the notes they choose to play is the main, un-overlook-able part of liking or not liking a band, not how they made the sounds and sounds fit on a record so nicely.

Man dogg I thought you were totally joking about "late-eighties folk-metal," but apparently it is a thing.

I was holding out, but...

no one seems to have noticed that my entire comment was complete, unmitigated made up bullshit

Nice. Virtual chubby for that. It was all completely believable.

I thought Robert Christgau was a made-up name!

*slow clap of begrudging appreciation*

Does that mean it's not correct?

Joestork today you are my hero. In my defense, I am almost distressingly high.

hooray perfect grammarand bbcode.

goddammit.