http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua8fvJRZ

And http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuab6Thjp

It's a pity that the Brat is so ugly, because it's got a great name. It sounds like the vehicle you get if you give a Bedford Rascal lots of presents and attention.

also known as a subaru brumby

There is no guarantee that Little Nephew is going to hell, so what car would he get in heaven?

Actually, I think he will probably end up with a 1976 El Camino with longhorns on the grill and a bumper sticker that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts!"

He's going to HELL. Plus he's a kid, so it'll be a Schwinn with tassles on the handlebars and spokey-dokeys.

He's old enough to work at Starbucks, and they have a 17 hiring policy now. So, he's old enough for a drivers license. That said, I think his Hell vehicle should be that crappy golf cart that Beef wiped out in.

i loved my Schwinn Thrasher. it was slowly rusting and i needed to put on new pedals and handle-bar grips and then my mom gave it away...
my first bike..just...gave it away.

i have not recovered.

Hahaha. I used to always see a car in my school parking lot last semester that had a "Tight Butts Drive Me Nuts!" license plate cover on it, and it never failed to make me smile. I share this sentiment.

You are not fooling anyone, pete. That was YOUR car.

I would totally put that on my car only if I had wal-mart spinnaz and fuzzy dice to go with it

Man, you jerks just eat this up, don't you?

you and I, we are not the same.

Some even attempted to summon you once during your achewood hiatus. You provide a vital Assetbar service.

she worked at friendly's and was fine with it but couldn't bear the "grossness" of strip club glasses?

A Friendly's and a Todd.

A chubby for each of you then.

This is the best strip I've seen in a while. Or maybe I just really love the flowchart format. I especially enjoyed the return of big breasted necklace girl. However, I must note that unwanted babies are far from being the main reason to use a condom, no matter what Tim Price from American Psycho says.

I was being sarcastic. I think that people who don't respect the intellectual property rights of a small time artist SUCK.

But you left out the most important part; the obfuscating yellow bubble wherein GQ assures us that this comic isn't funny.

Better buy a shirt now, achilleselbow.

Ugh, you're probably one of those people that lectures about downloading music. He's not making money off the GQ sales - most likely he got a one-time commission that is in no way affected by this. And by the way, out of all the webcomics I read, this is the only one that constantly shoves requests for money in my face and whose content isn't 100% free. So, you know, get off your little high horse.

my feelings on your summary-suggestion are pro.

Seconded

:O

D-dad?

All of them? You're really getting that much action?

He got his bone on six times!

SHUT UP BITCH,

your gimmick is already tired.

oh no way you're alreadyinuse what a surprise this is a really clever gimmick account :0)

I just used pirate's posts for a science experiment! I know that I can only give five chubbies per page, but I don't know anything about lames or how many I can give. So I lamed all of his comments, and now I know that I can give more lames than chubbies!

I'm not going to, usually, becuase that's kind of a dick thing to do in general. But in this case, it was for Science.

Listen, I hate to tell you, but I don't think Onstad reads these forums, and he's happily married, so you can stop trying to suck his dick. No one's gonna pat you on the head for being as righteous as you think you are.

I hope you're still reading my 'aura' because right now it's shaped like a giant middle finger.

Did I miss something, or this guy complaining about the posting of the print-only comic the same one who posted it? Why is anyone replying to him?

This is a situation where you should not need a deranged sex robot to threaten you with impotence. You should just know what is the right thing to do.

Wise man. I'm glad no crazy-ass robots had to let everyone in on the trollery. I'm also glad no crazy-ass robots had to neuter anyone. Lord save us from those crazy-muthafuckin-ass robots.

If you think about it, it's probably also the only webcomic you read that doesn't have any banner ads or suchlike.

I lecture about downloading music, and why shouldn't I?

Not to mention that I can't count a single time since I started at the beginning of the archives around 2 weeks ago that I have had any request for money shoved in my face. And, like the guy says above, Onstad's got a kid, you can't blame him for wanting to cash in on his talents.

It's all of your Grand Guignol slashfic nightmares come true*.

[*not really]

i wait outside the door for what seems like forever and then the huge guy who led me here finally comes out and gestures with his head for me to follow him in. i become disoriented walking through the slaughterhouse. the beat becomes a listless rumble and all the people grinding against one another under the black light turns me into some sort of epileptic. the dance floor sits atop the killing floor with a glass bottom installed so you can see what happens on either.

guy in the back room lined with chicken coops tells me i'm hired. i dance monday, wednesday and friday and work the killing floor the other days with sunday off. the pay is the same either way. he sits down at a desk where a fluffy, yellow chick is squeaking annoyingly. this huge guy, probably six foot something and three hundred pounds, wipes blood from his hand with a dirty rag and lights a cigarette. he never asks my name. when i'm about to leave he lifts the chick to his face and begins to eat it like an apple. the next night i'm dancing and when i look down over my body i can see the death and it looks so good.

Where the FUCK did this come from and where can I read the rest of it.

If the answer is your "fucked up imagination", then you will please forward me the rest of the nightmare.

He said below it was from an album's liner notes, but he didn't say which one, so I'll politely repeat my request for specifics.

more like -

Historical note: This design was pulled from the shelves, so it is very rare.

indeed - I have a "third state" cover of this album

in a story of two sisters, this is the other.

last night i wrestled with a child who often resists injections. the task calls on the concentrated efforts of myself along with two orderlies... such strength from a child so weakened by a disease. pinned down, tears streaming from either side of his face, veins throbbing beneat a thin sheet of flesh, tunneling disease throughout the tiny frame... i administer the medication; the orderlies relent and move on, wiping their hands as if by doing so they limit the likelihood of infection. swabbing the tiny puncture with alcohol, reaching for a bandage, suddenly my hand is siezed. with one movement the boy snatches the syringe and has it buried in the meat of my forearm. no smile or laugh, no vengeful glare, he just stares off into the nothingness of the room as his blood leeches its way into mine. i remove the offending needle and in its place find a dull ache and probably much worse. the child sleeps.

oh you rule cpnglxynchos.

He's my favourite elder god.

Has anyone else been called a racist for saying "Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Forest?"

Russia to Outlaw Emo.

This is so perfect. I was at the Spy Museum here in DC and they had a gift shop at the end of their little course, which had, among other things, the classic Che Guevara T-shirt.

I decided I was not going to debase myself as well as Che Guevara's memory by purchasing a shirt with his picture on it from an organization that was garnering capitalist profit from the corruption of everything the man stood for.

So I just bought a camouflage painter's cap with a red star on it instead.

Why emo kids always wanna dress like Communists?

I think that's the real reason they passed that law. I mean hell if you saw a bunch of skinny teenagers dressed up like John Adams you'd think this was a nation founded on the pubes of elves.

Which is still marginally better than a nation founded on the pubes of Elvis.

We are at the point where a character getting shot merits only a "Haha, oh well. See you in a couple months." reaction.

Oooooooh Shit.

Uncle Ben died young. Goddamnit why do all the good ones have to die young.

...maybe not

that is a totally rad story!!

i think i have a chubby for you.

Dude, high five. Glad to be of service.

Well, he is a master detective.

He's also a master debater.

He's the world's greatest detective. He knows.

Not much makes me literally 'lol', sir, but I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes...and every time i look at this image i continue to laugh. chubby

That makes me laugh EVERY time. That, and Superman's horribly expanding eyeball.

And the Captain America "WANK!" sound effect?

ya gotta love Robin's stylish topknot (denoting submission?) in that panel

You get a chubby for the watchmen reference.

I was most pleased to see Bad News in the list.
Most pleased indeed.

Burnin' rapin' shootin' and a lootin'
Burnin' rapin' shootin' and a lootin'
Burnin' rapin' shootin' and a lootin'
Burnin' rapin' shootin' and a lootin'
All this I do, I'll kill for you!

my old band used to cover a Warriors of Ghengis Khan.

Comics are............so violent lately

So violent that Assetbar rejected their existence.

The next comic will appear in that post when it is uploaded, as today's appeared in the comments of the previous one.

As if anyone is watching.

What's the point of this spoiler exercise?

when i see this i can only imagine batman screaming except for the "DEEAAAAAAAD!!!" at which point he changes to an operatic baritone.

A friend of mine told me that the only inviolable law in comics was that "Bucky" stayed dead, referring to Captain America's former sidekick.
"An aphorism among comic book fans, known as the Bucky Clause, was that 'No one in comics stays dead except Bucky.'"
Okay, "comics police", whatever. Its like a bylaw against stomping on your own balls, not too tempting in the first place.
I guess Uncle Ben sort of has to stay dead too, though that's so built-in it seems to be a more unspoken thing.

Re-instituted as "No-one in comics stays dead except Captain America Steve Rogers" refering to Bucky's former partner.

lol

Against my better judgment, I watched that thing last night. Funniest shit I've seen in a long time. I laughed so hard tears flowed freely from my eyes.

A chubby for you, sir!

Oh my God what did you do to me why did I click on that

I didn't need to know what that looked like, EVER

She was really making an effort to cakefart at the end there.

I regret that I have but one lame to give for this post.

That's a bit harsh.

And yet so awesome.

Excellent avatar/post combo.

i can't see the full alt text... would someone like to do me a solid and type it out?

Right click on the comic and click on properties. You can look at the alt text in the window that comes up.

Okay, but only this once: "Iorwerth murdered the boy with stethoscope placement. Once thought to be the best, but now largely refuted."

Now, learn to fish: Right-Click on the image, select "Properties." Stretch the popup box until you can read the title text. This works in Firefox 2.x. I have heard that Firefox 3 defeats this particular problem, but makes a hash of Assetbar in numerous other ways.

I...um...oh dear. Pogo, your age is showing.

Loneal you seem like you might know about this
The DivaCup
is this a good product? does it beat tampons?
I am thinking of buying a case of them for christmas gifts. (I found a supplier where I get a discount if I get a whole case.) But being a man I have no way to test it out, so I want a woman's opinion.

ATTENTION: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU AIN'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT BLEEDING VAGINAS

Yeah, dude, they are the best! They're so much better than tampons and/or pads. You only have to change it twice a day (or I only have to change it twice a day, but I have a pretty light flow), and you don't have to worry about Toxic Shock Syndrome, whereas if you leave a tampon in for more than six hours, you have to start worrying about dying. Also, all the mainstream tampons have chemicals in them, which can be bad for some women. DivaCups are just silicone, so they don't mess you up at all. They are also much more comfortable than having a pad chafing up your skin all the time. And they are much better for the environment, because one cup lasts you literally like twenty years, and you don't have to fill up landfills with be-chemicaled tampons/pads.

However, there are two major caveats. One is that you have to be comfortable with your cunt. If you're used to tampons with applicators, it's a little weird at first, but ultimately pretty rewarding. Two is that it really takes three or four cycles to get used to, and I think a lot of people give up during that time. It can really be a bit stressful until you get the hang of it (my bathroom ended up looking like a murder scene more than once), but once you get the hang of it, it is really just the best ever.

Hate to break this to you, loneal, but;
guess who?

oh sniffle snaffs he's like hornswoggle or loki

always tricksterin

Is it wrong if I feel this particular offense to be fundamentally hilarious?

trolls can have legitimate questions about feminine hygene protocol too, god damnit!

okay I was joking about buying a whole case. But I am buying one for a good friend of mine. As a surprise gift. I like to find quirky gifts for my friends. And hey. It might even be useful too.

thanks for the good info Loneal! And yeah, I can't see not being comfortable with one's cunt. I mean, if a cunt is anything like a penis, I mean, you know, I'm all over my penis like minimum once a day if not more. I can't imagine not being all over my cunt if I had a cunt. That would be the most awesome thing to have a cunt. Man I would get all sorts of mirrors and video cameras just to get a better view. and damn, that ain't even including the arthroscopic possibilities!

I hope some day I have a gf who is as into cunts (and my penis) as I am

Psh, like I care. I just want to talk about menstruation!

Why does your vagina bleed? Did you cut it?

Why does it say 'Suitible for Vegetarians'? Can you eat it?

I can field this one. If you're looking to paint flowers using your own menstrual blood by the light of the waxing moon, there is no better product.

If you're looking to avoid dumping out a cup full of your own medical waste every day to every few hours, there are better products.

So glad I'm a guy!

You lie. You lie so much, the filth seeps from your every pore.

I won't lame a man for preferences or opinions that he's entitled to and that he's not forcing upon other people.

But I am making an INCREDIBLY mean face at you right now, Pogo. You have almost no idea how mean.

I could be wrong, but I sense sarcasm in his comment. Unless microsoftland is what they start calling it after the Gates Lobotomy. If not, Pogo, you are a dunce.

Partial irony, jazz great. For viewing Achewood, IE is perfect. For lots of other things, I hear tell some of them newfangled browsers work better.

we all know how good ff3 is with assetbar

Man, the drunk Mingus voice just makes your damn posts so damn good!

why the hell isn't this being chubbied

have i...have i gotten so high i entered bizzaresset-bar?

never mind i just figured out why

fucking pirate, why'd you have to go and clog up assetbar?

D:<

Who pays for Internet Explorer?

It exacts a price from every one of its users.

You pay with....YOUR SOUL!

Thank you both for the metaphorical fishing lessons. Now I can eat forever!

if you're using firefox 2 just use the extension "long titles"

EXTENTION LT:
IT WORKS.

I read that as "long titties". And that is rude.

Rudeeee titles.

Or just use Opera and be able to see it instantly.

SUCKAS

But then one would have to use Opera

Well, when you go to a shotgun wedding, and they don't use the round for its original purpose, they gotta get rid of it somehow.

If only they were smart enough to use it on the possums outside the woods, that'd take care of the vittles too.

*in the woods

Ha ha, I have the same problem. As long as you replace the word 'child' with the word 'bouquet'. And the word 'shot' with the word 'thrown'. And 'repeatedly' with 'just once'. Seriously though, I think my family are much nicer people than yours. Sorry about that.

Like a goddamn <i>death genius<i/>

You get a chubby for having the BALLS to use HTML.

I figured it would look hilarious even though it wouldn't actually make the words italic; I was being intentionally unhip

sounds more like edward gorey to me. although, i have never seen nice pete and gorey in the same place at the same time...

When you gonna stop riding your avatar's coat tails?

(Hoping the answer is never)

KOODGE!

yes?

No no oh god no no no no no.

it was the merciful thing to do.

I predicted this. 7/10/2008
Also, KOODGE is a delicious sounding sound.

I have some serious problems with koodge. It's a great word. But not for a blunderbuss. It's the -ge at the end. That just ain't doing it for me. That's not the sound of a hell-device going off, that's the sound of a bare foot stomping down hard into a pot of just cooked spaghetti.

Love the KLIK! though.

Or a blunderbuss shooting a woman's ass off of a cake.

I respectfully and unnecessarily disagree. It's a big, chunky, muzzle-loading pistol, one that doesn't mince words/sound effects. KOODGE is blunt, distorted, and chaotic, nothing like the sharp CRACK or POW or BANG of a modern-day rifle. It's exactly what a cheap, hastily-loaded cartridge rammed down and then awkwardly forced out of a non-rifled muzzle should sound like as it just barely pierces someone's chest. It's the sound of shooting someone with a weapon that has character.

Oh God I can't believe I did that.

I gotta tell you, this is the only Achewood comment I ever remembered after the fact.

The main characters having all been dead at least once before, it is now Charley's bell has finally knolled.

Worst. Potential sexual slang. Ever.

EHHHHH!!! XD

Man, any sensible person knows that Julian Barratt is the funnier one.

Think outside your box, girls.

I am sorry that you are angry and do not like pictures and that you took up all that space re-posting all of that which you hate I am a bit confused.

Check the username you're responding to and be confused no longer.

You are a mean old female, Ass In Mouth.

sorry, Ass In Mouth is aim, isn't it? aiu would be Ass In Uterus. I apologize for my having mistaken the letter U for the letter M.

s/he is like an evil dandelion. What would be the metaphorical equivalent of finding her/his roots and pulling them out?

Is that the only STFU picture you could find on the internet? You are boring me to death.

For once, I actually agree with aiu, but for different reasons. How many times must we go over this? STOP REPLYING.

the above exchange broke a day long bout of malaise; I thank you a thousand times assetbar

can someone please mark this as infernal inspamination?

but seeing half of us get riled and upset and whiny about responding to him is one of the funniest things that ever happens at this place!

Whoops, lamed the wrong post. Sorry, syrupykeyboard.

I could never be mad at handsome man like you. Is SO sexy.

I mean, uh...no problem, dude.

/thug-hug

No homo.

Not on the couch, fellas.

somebody's jealous

so...when i post pictures...is it better or worse than these?

...i..i MUST know...lest my whole assetbar life be a crock and a sham.

aiu is already in use. What do you expect him to reply with that isn't that pic?

Man, just ignore that bullshit. Why you got to say a thing?

I want to ignore that so badly...but that made me laugh soooo hard.

Its okay aliiis, you can get pishy if you want, I don't take it personally. I was going for more a visual pun there, rather than a pic of someone funny. I'm a visual person and so I like to emphasis awful, awful puns with pictures. I just wanted a Noel, any Noel, it could have been Coward, Gallagher, or Edmonds (Mr Blobby does anyone else remember this crime?) Fielding is the Noel I got at random. I smiled when I saw him in my image search.

Plus I'll give you a chubby because someone lamed you and no-one lamed Mr Fielding up there.

I don't mind the pictures at all. Even a picture that is totally irrelevant and even offensive is funner to look at than, say, tekende using the same achewood one-liner for the 293421409th time that asset. I respect that this is an achewood forum type thing and that quotes from the strip can be pretty funny in the right context, but fuck me running there is a line

there will be lames

yeah, unsurprisingly tekende smelled his name and lamed it probably seconds after i posted it

no, it was lame free for a time.

To be fair, I'd have lamed it if you'd used a number of other names as well.

Because you never get tired of the same jokes over and over, or what?

Yea, there's a line. On this side of it is Tekende, who is actually cool and a valued contributor whom people like. On the other side are you and aiu.

The line is pretty easy to find. Tekende has a jillion chubbies per lame. Jollysaintpete has almost 1:1. People like the beard more than they like Carlton

If only I had more chubbies I could be truly happy

i gotta check MY ratio.

aw, octafish, you are a good man. I feel bad because I think my comment unleashed this avalanche of lameness upon us all! I NEVER WANTED THIS

(also it wasn't really the picture, I think it was the squee-ish comment that made me come over all curmudgeonly. I can be awful curmudgeonly at times. On the internet.)

As long as we are all friends this is all completely cool!

I actually agree, I did a image search for Noel expecting to find a paparazzi photo of a drunken Noel Gallagher, but to my delight instead of that I got a lot Xmas related stuff (duh should have thought of that) and Noel Fielding. Basically it was riffing on the above mis-quote "it is now Charley's bell has finally knolled." Which as far as I can tell means Charley's bell has mountain-topped.

At least his bell hadn't been Gnolled. Happened to me once, ring-a-ding-ding.

Time to die, autrepoupee!

You've ruined your own lands, you'll not ruin mine!

This just made me wonder: what if all gnolls are actually just furries?

A Gnoll is the offspring of a Gnome and a Troll.

Draw whatever conclusion you want from that fact.

That definition was only correct until AD&D 1st edition and is now entirely obsolete.

Can anyone here photoshop me an image of Howard Moon's severed head in a glass jar? - I think my avatarneeds updating.

Is this him?

Beautiful!

v-chubb

Nice!! Now I just need to get a real one of these.

I don't want to get too confrontational, but I feel I must break my silence on this matter. I find the Mighty Boosh extremely unfunny. It's sort of agreeable, and mildly charming, but it is never even close to so much as making the corner of my mouth twitch upwards into a smirk. I feel like I am the only person in the world who fails to get the joke.

This picture makes me think he should have been cast as the White Witch in the first Chronicles of Narnia movie.

i guess i am not so good on the popular culture thing because i was trying to remember if that's what Noel Gallagher looked like

Yeah, I had the same problem. My excuse is that I am a square, middle-aged, white man.

I don't know what the heck that is but dang if it isn't the grossest thing I've seen all week.

Unless the bride or groom has first-hand knowledge of why that's so. That would be slightly more awkward.

Cumshot on the back of their couch, unmistakable, about one foot up. They didn't put it there, they don't know who put it there, and they sort of want to know who did.

'Cause they ain't having nobody over if there's a damn cumshot.

Your avatar appears to show the ghosts of many spermatozoa. Please let this be true.

V-chub for using a proper and scientific pluralization of sperm. Not like that foreign guy from Public Invasion who asks the girls if they would "like some sperms".

(It does not really matter what their answer is, but I suppose it's nice of him to at least ask.)

them's cums

A Christmas Story II: Ghosts of Spermatozoa Past

Story, Carol, Tapestry, whatever. Damn you, Dickens, foiled again!

Look what you've done! Now the Pickwickians are going to come to your house and steal all your food and get up to shenanigans.

YOU'LL PUT YOUR EYE OUT!

It appears to be a bunch of Spider Jerusalem's boys.

The dude has got pre-Enlightenment mercy.

Koodge? Seriously? That's seriously the sound? Koodge?

Yes that is the sound of getting killed by a plunger.

or an External Combustion Engine

Or koodged first.

I koodged too early.

Thank you. I will go back to being an adult when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Werd.

i apologize for the untidiness

you and blindspot get a chubby for making me laugh

Imagine it shouted with a sort of brusque roar.

oh no

BTW, do yourselves a fucking favor and stay the hell away from the comment thread on that comic. What a shithole that was.

Taffy doesn't look all that surprised. :|

his grimace falters for a second in sympathy. I think that's as surprised as Taffy will ever look

He shows no surprise, though. Was he in on the plan from the very beginning?

Wait, that's what you just said.

Sorry, guys. I guess maybe I'm stoned... right now. I'm so high right now. Yes.

Getting ready for PINEAPPLE EXPRESS OOOOOOOO.

That is Spongebob's Train.

I know Spongebob. I know him.

Oh my god he did.

He did not shoot off his arm. It is merely obscured by the controller. His hands dropped slightly in shock and alarm as he was shot. From the posing and the angle, however, it looks a bit like it was shot off.

Holy hell!

Also, neither of them seem to have left arms.

Shocked by the snuff.

Where was the rollerskate? It had to have been there somewhere.

I think rollerskates are only involved in accidental shootings and/or deaths. As this one was completely pre-meditated and carried out as planned, no rollerskate.

For my full dissertation on the symbolism of mobile footwear in web-based comics and animation, please consult your local university library.

Dad this is Randy.

I am sorry that you got lamed, doctorjones. But now I have chubbied you so that it is almost like you were never chubbied or lamed at all.

Koodge is the best part of that

Molly's speaking like Beef! Or at least predicting his next sentence based on his thoughts and mannerisms.

Romance.

It's a weird thing taking on the mannerisms of a person you're with. Eventually you're sort of the same person. Breeds an odd sort of contempt for one another: a mix of self-hatred and low self esteem that can put an honest damper on movie night. Love's awesome like that!

I love you mattsolo. Are you a chick? We should Do It if you are a chick. If not I still love you but we shouldn't Do It.

My wife would not look favorably on our couplings; nor would I.

Sex Traction Aunts: a good name for a band about vodka and Achewood.
Who's with me?
I can play the ukelele.

Let's list all the band names one can find in this strip:
Lightning Box (I think it sounds cool, shut up)
Hellzicious
KOODGE (perhaps works better as an EP title)
Sex Traction Aunts
Vodka Rogered (my personal fav)

I can strum the guitar.

Terrible Is the New Horrible (most likely a noise/grind band)

DIBS!

I'm claiming Awww hellzicious yes. We will be porno style funk, played wearing traditional Welsh garb, with no pants. Or necks, as it seems everyone thinks they look fake.

It takes true discernment to know a fake band name from a fake album title. Kudos/chubby.

I have no idea how to do a quote HTML thing, so I'll just say that yearsinhotclaws said this:
So I was watching School of Rock and I came up with an idea for an assetbar Supergroup.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome,

Spiny Norman: Lead vocals, Rocket Guitar

Pogo: Lead Xylophone

Professor Hazard: Second Chair Woodwind

L'Oneal as that hot blonde chick from the Mamas and the Papas who didn't really do anything.

Edwell: Sound and Light design

Hedonism Bot: Groupie Rounder, Idea Man

Gladi8orreX: Heroin Overdose

PaperBoy 2000: Clit Guitar, Backup Xylophone

Xiao Mi Mi: Management

Already In Use: Strictly Prohibited

Chris Onstad: Not involved in project

All the rest of you losers who weren't distinctive enough to be in the band please put your hands together for, The Chubbscouts!

Do I have to play theirateturk's ex-girlfriend?

Only if you want to.

I'll do it, until gladi8orrex tosses me a basketball.

I feel so bad for theirateturk. Not only does his girlfriend cheat on him with an entire basketball team (did we ever clear up if that included mascot and towel boy?) but it has become the second most prevalent assetbar meme, next to CLITS.

I was the towel boy, so now ;9

NO

NOT NOW

NO


FUCK

CAN IT GET ANY WORSE? :/

YES.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE DEBATE TEAM.

He he he, re-but-al, he he he.

Fantastic. Tekende also is a uke player. Ask him for the chords to "I'm Full of Bees." I have an acoustic guitar and I'm prepared to use it.

According to Onstad the sound of that gun being fired is the same as external combustion.
Awesome.

I mean they are mostly the same thing.

An exploding engine and a gunshot?
Where can I find me one of these here, blunderbusses.

You deserve so much good hard chubbyin', doc.

Man, I've always wondered. You need to do more of the educational series, "You and Your Assetbar"

Yeah uh expect more chubbies than all you've ever gotten in your life put together.

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
CHUBBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

ohh wow, hell of chubbies man. This is better than today's comic almost.

Why is Iorweth pouting so hard in the 4th frame - that's got to hurt!

Huh? I don't see his mouth in frame 4. Why do you say he's pouting?

If you mean the third frame, he is whistling, or blowing smoke ring in the shape of a quaver.

My feelings on this asset are:
Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah
Yeah Yeah

I don't think I've ever laughed at a teenage cat being murdered until now.

Also, completely unrelated, but what the fuck happened to the bacon blog?

CRAZY I was just wondering about that this morning when I cooked up some really expensive bacon only to have it taste like toenails.

See, this is why we need the bacon blog! We NEED it, Chris, we NEEEEEEED it!

Are you American? You probably ruined in a van during your graduation ceremony.

Oh crung, a Lame!

My feelings on this asset are: Somebody likes Little Nephew?

I strongly advise quitting now and reducing your losses, Professor

I picture this with a nefarious cackle and a cape-swooshing exit.

um...you don't really need the last panel to figure this out...but you do miss the back of his head...you can fix this, though. using the correct Program.

You drew the back of my head. I think that means we're going steady, now.

Isn't drawing the back of the head codeword for butt sex?

Isn't butt sex really the first sign of going steady?

It is in my book.

Nephew is my favorite character. I can understand how people close to his generation might be uncomfortable with the portrayal, but I find it spot-on.

Vodka-Rogered? Hell yeah! Absorb this in to your lexicon. So to speak.

What are you trying to say? That last panel pretty much tied the whole strip together, and then you go and piss on it.

Seriously, you wanted it to end with LN being horrifically gunned down?

...aaaand once again I_love_Kate can put his cock punching glove away in its cabinet.

Can I uh, can I borrow that glove? I promise I'll wash it afterward

(he won't)