Rod and The Correct Answer both rock peoples cans in different ways.

There is a crucial difference between severely beating an entire basketball team, and severely beating off an entire basketball team.
amirite theirateturk?

This is the kind of advice I wish I was given in my youth. It's the kind of advice that can save you a lot of years.

Huge slam on theirateturk's ex-girlfriend out of nowhere.

Ahem.

I game her a huge slam last night. But not out of nowhere. I took her out to dinner and a show beforehand, and we set down clear boundaries regarding what was, and what was not sexually agreed upon.

I'm going to take theirateturk's ex-girlfriend out for a nice seafood dinner, and then never call her again.

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT! A SAINT!

There were horses, and a man on fire , and I killed a guy with a trident.

Look at me, I'm orvel. I can lame a whole string of comments and then respond with something that was funny when someone else did it the other day but isn't funny now because it's tired and it was someone else's joke anyway.

Fuck you, orvel, fuck you right in the ear.

Quoting Will Ferrell movies ad nauseum does not make you funny. I believe it makes you an American frat guy.

My attempt to illustrate just how lame over-quoting Will Ferrell is by leaving an equally lame comment seems to have been met with the expected response.

Also, I LOVE LAMP.

My only fault was loving her too much : (

AND MY AXE.

I can understand how the insatiable lust for a dough hook would confuse you.

I'd like to see your bare kitchenaid. Ooohh-la-la!

Tall and lean
Sharp and clean

With him there's no inbetween

It's-

Ramses...

Luther...

SMUCKLES!

Great. Now I'm gay. Thanks.

When I picture Ray's dad, I can't help but think: what would Robert Duvall do?

We all knew that Beef's wedding would be an arc like no other, but with this it has become officially epic.

You just use those chords any old way you want dear and the good lord God will provide.

I feel that the Showbiz problem is best solved through application of Ramses Luther Smuckles. One toe out of line and Showbiz will suffer from a severe case of Tequiza bottle through the brainpan.

I think Ramses is kind of like a universal solvent. Apply liberally to any problem, and it will soon cease to trouble you.

HEAD-PUNCH: apply directly to SHOWBIZ

Ramses may soon make Showbiz regret that he is "not religious. not religious at all."

"Listen here, Ponytail. You will go to heaven.


Because the hell is about to get beat out of you."

Ray's pop is the coolest cat in town, now that he is in town and all.

Cool and rude.

This is to be in no way confused with Raphael, who, historically, was cool but rude.

Gimme a break

Michaelangelo is a party dude.

He knows that Roast Beef has been the heart and soul to his boy, a heart and soul that he could never and would never want to be. A father is not a friend a father should, at best, suceed in showing his son exactly how much life is going to beat the shit out of him.

I agree, but had Roast Beef not been co-champion of the GOF but simply Ray's knucklehead since small times, I doubt Ramses would make an appearance.

that is a good point, if not for the GOF, he would just mail him a bottle of jack daniels and a polished and ready colt .45 that was used by a confederate soldier in the civil war. There would be no note.

chuvak: No. You are incorrect. The Democrats did not "champion racial equality" until the late 1960s--in fact, the Civil Rights Act was passed by a majority of Republicans, while a small majority of Democrats actually voted against it.

But really, today's Republican and Democrat parties are absolutely nothing like they were back in the 1800s, or even the mid-1900s. The two parties have only had their current identities for about forty years, and they're still changing all the time.

wuh guh? It was a little more complicated than that, methinks. "Conservatives" and "Progressives" have just swapped names back and forth over the years, do to complex demographic and social shifts. I just thought it would be a classy, manly gift for Ramses to give to Roast Beef in a hypothetical story situation.

OH JESUS GOD I WROTE FAN FICTION

This is why we can never have company over, whiteturtle.

That is a very shallow and ultimately inaccurate assessment of the state of American electoral politics from the pre-Civil War period to the present. Even the Republican party of old was an uneasy coalition of anti-slavery Whigs, scary northern industrial/ financial interests and various war profiteers whose alliance with the abolitionist cause was opportunistic. IMHO these 'conservative' interests have been in undisputed control of the party since William McKinley won the nomination.

And the Democratic Party has had a liberal-populist streak long before Lyndon Johnson finally and completely alienated it's southern cracker constituency. Thus it cannot be said that there is a 'liberal' and a 'conservative' faction' that simply switch names over the years.

Did you see the part where I mentioned complex social and demographic shifts? I said that because I didn't want to say all that shit you just said.

BECAUSE YOU WERE BUSY WRITING FAN FICTION, AMIRITE???

every year when my family goes to montgomery, al we have to listen to the same fight that my stepfather, his mom, and his siblings have had since 1968(?) "well ronnie, i just dont understand why you hadda go-on throw way your football scholarship. i mean, you couldda gon to Auburn, and not had to go to ve-et-naam if you'd just helped mr. wallace."
ronnie always reponds with "i went to thailand. i drank coca cola out of plastic bags and mopped an evac hospital for two years. and i told you now like i told you then. no segregationist sumbitch is getting my support.i dont care about an f in shop class if it's doin the right thing." then it goes in to a two day discussion of the right thing versus the right thing, and why he couldnt find a nice girl in alabama to marry off with, somthing about his brother's wife being from the good korea, and that there isnt a good cuba.....


this is why we live eighteen hours away.

Snake Plissken? I heard you were dead.
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let me try posting that image again.
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I think there's another reason why he bowled a strike with the camera. In so doing, he broke the pattern of "damage people when disappointed" by substituting "damage consumer goods when disappointed." That's important because it allows an interpretation of the last panel that world fortify his reputation (he's about to smash the KitchenAid into countless tiny shards of plastic and shame) rather than tainting his legend (he's about to hit the Crate and Barrel lady).

In any case, I like to think that he bowled the strike by casually tossing the camera backward over his shoulder as he walked out the door, never even pausing to look back at the pins. That's the way of the badass.

Well, see, Flintstone would un-gentlemanly throw the camera at the pins. Ramses Luther Smuckles would have "bowled" the camera by sending it right down the gutter where it belongs, and the ten pins would have done the gentlemanly thing and fallen as a show of respect.

Please realize that this whole "bowl the camera" thing was just Ramses gettin' justifiably pissed at the slight put upon him by the bowling alley staff.

You see, for the average person, bowling a perfect, 300 game is a major accomplishment. Such an accomplishment is usually honored with polaroid pictures, plaques, and cheesy mafioso/graduation-style rings purchased out of a catalog.

For a man as raw as Ramses Luther Smuckles, however, bowling a perfect game is about as difficult as putting on a pair of pants. Insulted that the other people in the alley would think that a task SO EASY would be an accomplishment for HIM, he disdainfully threw the camera at the pins. Of course they all went down. It was Ramses' way of saying, "Boys, your game here ain't worth shit; I just came in here because I was thirsty and am doing this to pass the time while knockin' back some cold ones."

In silhouette Ramses' Top Cat origins are even more clear. Only Ramses would have beaten the crap out of Officer Dibble.

...And my axe.

lol dun u mean "an my broom an' mop mabe" lol

I heard you were wounded by an axe once

Damn is every character gonna get a relative show up and cause trouble for the scribes on the police beat?

PHILIPPE TIMES Friday Facts!

Police Blotter

June 14

East Achewood %u2013 An elementary school teacher reported that several of her students returned from recess holding cards, with dirty statements such as FUK U SHTFASE and LIKK MY DOODY DADDY scribbled on them. Their mothers were promptly called so don't worry.

Downtown Achewood %u2013 There's a guy wearing dirty clothes and with corn kernels for teeth always in the city and people know him because he's the guy who always says the world is going to end soon and everyone ignores him because they don't want to be sad. He's usually scared about it but this time he was really scared but no one knows what made him feel that way. He suddenly jumped up on a water fountain and started peeing into it while reciting the dictionary.

Achewood Mental Hospital %u2013 A big kid who likes to ride through town on a motorcycle has been having really bad headaches so some friends of his in the Army told him to have naptime there for a few days. He woke up in the middle of the night because of a really bad nightmare and the nurses tried to give him his pills, but his latent psychokinetic powers awoke and he blew up the whole area. He was last seen flying through the sky screaming TOMORROW HAS MADE A PHONE CALL TO TODAY. A lot of kids missed their bedtime.

"The man with wedding gifts in his hands."

"Two scoundrels got fresh with a chain-smoking trailer trailer pixie who later attacked them after they said that her arms were all skinny like a tall dog's leg."

That is pure poetry, if you disagree I will be your waiter at Cafe Le Fuck You, where the main dish will be your ass, served up cold

This is like Van Gogh asking people to ignore one of the stars in his Starry Night, or Franklin W. Dixon saying he accidentally put in the 2nd Hardy boy.

Several internet users were found severely beaten behind Assetbar. They said they were very sorry for having rated the latest Achewood strip less than a five, and that they would correct their errors once they regained the ability to click a mouse.

One user who declined medical treatment reported that he was scrolling up to increase his rating "immediately."

amateurs.
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(apologies for scrollage)

Your internet... went down on you?

No cookies for you.

"Those are some big words coming from a man with two broken arms."

"What? My arms are f-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA"