Todd forgot to hibernate

Todd forgot to hibernate 11/09/2006 « prev 1st rand curr next »

When you die, leave your body to comedy.

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Todd's always got those really short lines that seem like they're indicating a constant trembling. It sort of has the effect of making him seem dirty, like he's emanating particles of grime from his body at all times.

This is known as the "Pigpen Effect" in many circles, and the "Short Movement Line Effect" by many squares.

he's a squirrel. squirrels are sketchy, dodgey creatures. you ever watch one runnin' around? they all go this way, then that way. like physical stuttering. todd T squirrel just got a stutter like any other squirrel... and that's before accounting his narcotics and alcohol intake.

Yeah definitely speed is one of them, or crystal meth, nothing makes a squirrel feel more like a squirrel then crank.

Once I chased this squirrel and it ran partway up a tree trunk, then strafed around it. I ran around the tree to try and get at it, and rather than running up the tree it just continued to strafe around it in circles... and reversed direction when I tried chasing it the other way.

I swear... Squirrels should play Counterstrike or Halo, as they would totally rock at it.

I used to chase squirrels around the yard all the time. Then a few times it happened that I could have actually caught one (or at least touched/grabbed it momentarily) and I realized "what the hell was I planning to do with these squirrels once I caught them?"

this. this is what you were planning to do once you caught them.

Holy Christ.

I was perfectly happy pretending that people like that don't actually exist, and then you came along.

Man Justin Wilson cooked squirrel and there was NOTHING wrong with him
I remember a particular episode where he came out with a tray of squirrel heads, in fact

After reading your comment, I viciously scrolled down, ready to pounce on the jackass who would undoubtedly quote The Dark Knight.

When it didn't happen, I realized how awesome AssetBar users really are.

I can't even think which quote you were expecting

What does the Joker say he is, as opposed to a schemer?

I had a friend do this, a couple years ago, and I got it on video. If I still had the MPEG I'd send it to Box 2110, Hollywood CA.

VHS preferred.

...you had your friend hit a dead squirrel with a baseball bat?

When I was nine years old we had to do outdoor fitness testing twice a year for gym class. I was running the 50-yard dash when a squirrel panicked and crossed my path at the exact wrong time. I had no time to react and ended up punting that squirrel at least 50 yards. It was not wearing a helmet.

Chubby for making me go "HAH!" out loud. But now I feel cruel. But, damn if that isn't hilarious.

You kicked a squirrel 50 yards when you were nine? You must have been one of those gargantuan nine year olds that was raised under powerlines.

I don't know what to tell you. I was running the 50 yard dash, and the squirrel landed well beyond the finish line. I guess it's easier to get that kind of distance with a rodent than a pigskin?

smaller=farther.

let's kick atoms and see how far they fly.

*smaller=farther?

thus:
atom smasher, redefined.

A friend of mine was once throwing an empty spray paint can out. He walked to a dumpster, and then a squirrel suddenly jumped out of the dumpster at him. He panicked and threw the paint, which hit the squirrel and knocked it back into the dumpster.

Somewhat related recent true story: I came centimeters from running over an opossum on my bike a couple weeks ago. Those things are really stupid about getting out of the way. Scared the hell out of me.

Animal cruelty chubby!

Thinking of Todd as a regular squirrel made me start thinking of the one who hangs out outside my window. Oh god is it watching me

the death of todd todd todd todd todd t. squirrel.

It's funny how such a repetitive name has such a natural rhythm when you actually say it out loud.

Yeah, the "Squirrel" at the end will naturally be gleefully shouted when you say it out loud.

I tend to say it to the tune of "Barbara Ann"

Comedy... needs... corpses!

Best way of killing off a major character ever.

But he's allready died in the past, and come back beyond this.

Oh Todd.

would it be funnier if teodor hit a dinger or if he got a ground rule double? fuck, a baltimore chop would be amazing! imagine t choking up on the bat and thumping todd's wee head, driving him into the ground and bouncing him over the infield. awesome

Teodor spits into his hands to get a better grip on the bat as he ponders the ballistic properties of a dead squirrel in a helmet.

next time on mythbusters...

I got really sad when he killed off Todd, until I realized just about every other character had died at one point and they always came back. Plus, Todd knows the secret to get out of Hell via Friday's restaurant.

First place!

I notice none of the robots have died. I wonder if they go to robot hell.

Come to think of it, we've pretty much never had an arc that focused on the robots, unless you count the one where Vlad fucks up Pat's Subway website. Get on it, Onstad.

When robots die they are sent to Robot Hell

I dunno if Lie Bot walks away from having his guts ripped out by Lyle over the "cursive episode"

The only reason you got lamed is because soticoto uses the Weighted Companion Cube as an avatar. Keep on truckin', tagrineth.

Well, we do know that Android Hell is a real place, but perhaps none of Achewood's robots have shown any signs of disobedience.

Achewood's robots have shown no signs of humanity other than their asses, and thus don't qualify as androids.
Particularly when it comes to doing the robot ladies, which is a hell of bad idea. Most of them come with electro-syphilis pre-installed.

ROBOT ASS!!!!!!!!

Robots go to Silicon Heaven. Where all the calculators go. For is it not written in the Electronic Bible, "The Iron shall lie down with the Lamp"?

Dude, Friendly's not fridays

thanks I got angry

But only if he can get the damn riddle right.

Anybody else think Todd is more striking visually the less detail his face has?

A chubbie to you, as I thought the exact same thing! Todd's character does not benefit from detail.

I dunno, I like what I believe to be his little tongue hanging out in the last panel.

Comedy is a bitch who must be bedded on a matress of corpses.

Can you die for tourism and still leave your body to comedy, or do you have to pick one?

From now on... I like to think of "Frikkin' Funniest Home Videos" as a saying now, when you get upset.

Don't rake his cadaver up
What's the matter with your mind?
The dude ain't a lawn clipping
We been knuckleheads since old times.
Break out the batting helmet and the bat
We're all about to have a funeral and that's that

-MC Frontalot

We'll do it after breakfast, we'll do it up proper
We'll drop all his ashes out the Airwolf copter.
All singin' out dirges, all spreadin' out blossoms,
And it's gonna b-b-b-be f-frikkin' awesome!

See, what makes this comic for me is the last panel. Someone else would have said, "A few days later..."

Wednesday Blogs

Ray: Butter, where have you been all my life?

I always feel it the most when Todd dies.

You jack off to dead squirrels?

Awesome.

Now why would a dead squirrel need a helmet

Because Teodor doesn't want tiny little squirrel brains all over the only sweater he ever wears?

AFV wouldn't air a video of a dead squirrel, but if they think he's alive, intentionally airborne, and will be protected by his crash-helmet upon landing, now that's family programming!