The brave little Dutch boy / Lie Bot  04/03/2006 « prev 1st rand curr next »




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baryonyx » neu 1 years ago
Truly the finest way to conclude a tale.
evilbobikus » neu 9 months ago
oh daaaaaaamn
tekende » neu 3 months ago
Hold on there, little buddy. Save the vitriol for someone who deserves it!
tragicone » neu 1 months ago
Tekende, you are the best kind of guy.
tonyhighwind » neu 1 months ago
I regret nothing.
tekende » neu 1 months ago
I'm still not entirely sure what you were trying to say, but the tone was definitely a bit hostile.
tonyhighwind » neu 1 months ago
I won't deny the hostility, but the ending of Dark Knight is the most perfect summing up of the Batman character that exists. I don't understand how you can see it and not get goosebumps of the best kind.

I'm speaking here of the very ending, the last 90 seconds, so maybe you were thinking of something else. Even if that's the case, I don't know what you would change.
tekende » neu 1 months ago
I was kidding. My suggestion was not serious.
tonyhighwind » neu 1 months ago
My apologies, Nerdiness flows through these veins as hot and implacable as lava.
audry » neu 2 months ago
Well, you look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em?
saint » neu 1 months ago
seriously
mikeleffel2 » pro 2 years ago
Brilliant!
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
Man, the Dutch are kind of assholes, huh
antbrejjn » neu 1 years ago
what a coincidence that i come upon this strip only 30 mins after getting all sorts of worked up over some retarded dutch people down at the bar i work at. gah, i'd love to vent my anger and explain why they got me so riled up, but i need to stop thinking of them asap >_<
zem » neu 1 years ago
argh >_< -_- :P
aelindil » neu 1 years ago
ACK!!
caseyb3 » neu 11 months ago
God damn it woman would you get Irving to wear longer gym shorts from now on
knight666 » pro 11 months ago
I feel that to be called a Dutchbag is the greatest honour.
anomalous3 » con 10 months ago
I'm dutch, isn't zat veird?
jimmyk » con 3 months ago
In addition to laming you, sir, I must inform you that you would be wise to watch all the Austin Powers films before replying again.
funkingout » neu 3 months ago
they certainly ate all my cheese and mayonnaise
i_love_kate » neu 1 years ago
Fuckin Sylar.
hbaranov » neu 1 years ago
FUCKING PINEAPPLE, I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK.
atticusonline » neu 1 years ago
fuckin weird lookin blurry face.
tripperday » neu 9 months ago
Fucking otter face on a popsicle stick.
atticusonline » neu 7 months ago
That hurt my feelings.
neaner » neu 7 months ago
A BLOO, A-BLOOO BLOOOOO BLOOOOOOO

(I am sorry, that would have hurt my feelings as well. I just couldn't help feed my BLOO addiction...An addiction that is completely unrelated to my Blues Brothers infatuation.)
atticusonline » neu 7 months ago
A BLUES, A-BLUES BLUES BLUESSSSSSSSSSSS
saint » neu 2 months ago
You killed it, you yuppie wanker.
jonmw » neu 1 years ago
You should realy not join into a post pattern like this without an instantly recognisable avatar
i_love_kate » neu 9 months ago
Yeah, you tell him you fucking... sun? Hedgehog motif?
tragicone » neu 6 months ago
def best to have something obvious like mine.
i_love_kate » neu 6 months ago
Fucking flayed bodybuilder.
tragicone » neu 6 months ago
Precisely.
zapatos » neu 6 months ago
Caaaaarnage!
tragicone » neu 5 months ago
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
theguitarhero » neu 4 months ago
FUCKING GUY WITH BEARD.
zapatos » neu 3 months ago
I'm going to fuck you.
zapatos » neu 3 months ago
In your sex-box.
spicyponyhead » pro 3 months ago
Fuck! A Rushmore icon! Yay!
zapatos » neu 3 months ago
He loves Rushmore, he loves it so hard.
layzerblade » neu 3 weeks ago
I'd have guessed the Crimson Chin.
malesherbez » neu 2 years ago
I feel like this was successful in being the most awful story to tell a little kid
cousinted » pro 1 years ago
You'd think Philippe would just avoid that robot after a while.
jackparsons » neu 1 years ago
Michael O'Donaghue (National Lampoon, Saturday Night Live) now has a rival. Too bad M. O'D is dead. Brain hemmorrage - boom.
spinynorman » neu 1 years ago
Lie Bot's last comment is exactly what I cheerfully said when we were all filing out of No Country for Old Men
terebikun » neu 1 years ago
Just the notion that the light in the darkness is just a dream. What a nice movie.
rowboat » pro 3 months ago
Man, Cormac's got, like, ten morals per sentence. Retract, dude.
spinynorman » neu 3 months ago
He seems to have more statements about the unending indifference of the world to me, rather than morals.
rowboat » pro 3 months ago
Is that not a moral in itself?
spinynorman » neu 3 months ago
I don't really think so. A moral to me feels like a code of conduct you should follow when living your life. It's about how you should enforce yourself on the world around you. The world he writes about doesn't even know your there, and is immovable. You can't act on it or change it at all.

Fatalism and moralism don't really mix so hot. And I guess McCarthy's fatalistic.
rowboat » pro 3 months ago
First off, I have to admit that my initial statement was sort of a joke. Sort of. But because this is the first compelling, non-Pavement-related argument that has been offered me here in the last couple of months, I will say that we seem to differ on the concept of the moral. I'm not gonna write a term paper here or anything, but I don't believe that one can just state flat out that a given work is without a moral. I think the concept itself is pretty solidly subjective.

No Country might not have taught you anything about how to enforce yourself on the world around you, but someone else (not necessarily myself) might've gleaned from it, say, the moral that if you find a bag of money near a busted drug deal in the desert, check that shit for homing devices before you take it home and DO NOT bring water to any doomed, gut shot Mexican survivors (those may seem mundane, but I stand by their application). Some may not see any code of conduct by which to live your life in All the Pretty Horses, while another (necessarily myself) may read that the world outside is a pretty fucked up place, but you'd be crazy not to go out into it anyway. Someone reading The Road may not....OK, you got me there. I'd be interested to hear peoples' opinions of the moral there. I can't see any besides possibly the fact that "carrying the fire" in a dead world is for suckers.

Oh, this is becoming long-winded. Anyway, I stand by the idea of the individual nature of the moral. That's just how I've always thought of it.
spinynorman » neu 3 months ago
Fair ground for No Country, which had a sort of moral to it, but at the same time, I never got the sense from the book or the movie that there was another way that could have gone. Again, the fatalistic aspect of McCarthy. I mean, in Outer Dark there's the crime of incest, and you see its various repercussions, and the effects that it has on the sister and the brother who committed it (crime against nature and all), but the moral focus of the novel falls on these three mysterious men who rampage through the countryside slaughtering anyone who comes to their path, digging up the dead and dressing in their clothes, and the judgment they eventually cast upon them is... horrific, but not fair at all. One character goes free, another is doomed to wander, and another is brutally, brutally killed. It's grotesque in the least, but it's not descriptive of any kind of moral code. It doesn't give you a sense that there are powers in the world that recognize your acts and are willing to judge them or reward you for them. These gods, these fates that howl through the darkness, they're little more than rapacious monsters.

As for All the Pretty Horse, I find that to be fatalistic as well. I agree that I got the same thing out of it as you (learning of the pain and suffering implicit in the world), but I don't consider that a moral, myself. It's a fall from innocence, if anything. Sort of a brutal bildungsroman.

McCarthy gets accused of being a nihilist all the time, and while I wouldn't exactly call that accurate, I can't say he's a moralist at all, either.
rowboat » pro 3 months ago
Well, I trust that we both see where the other is coming from to an adequate extent. On to suggestions. I'm on a bit of a Cormac kick these last few months and I want your opinion as to where to turn next. I interrupted The Border Trilogy for The Road and now I think I want to stay away from the trilogy a little longer (not that I wasn't enjoying it). Have you read Blood Meridian? My girlfriend claims that it's a life-changing read, but now I'm really considering Outer Dark. Any thoughts?
spinynorman » neu 2 months ago
I'd go with Blood Meridian. By a lot of people it's considered his masterwork (I don't entirely agree), and it's probably more conventionally gripping than a lot of his work, especially Outer Dark. (Though not as much as No Country or the Border Trilogy.) It's a great deal more badass than anything he's written. The Judge is one of the most seriously unsettling satanic figures in any modern literature. I personally think McCarthy wrote a High Fantasy novel without really realizing it.
spinynorman » neu 2 months ago
Oh yeah, but Outer Dark is a real minimalist, sort of almost avant-garde kind of book. It has no plot in any real sense. I think he was still trying to figure out what he was doing at that point. And some of his sentences in that book are just plain ridiculous. It's still a worthy read, though, if just for the incest and the three killers raising hell across the country.
apocowarg » pro 2 months ago
Finished Blood Meridian last night. The ending made me feel like someone punched my soul in the dick. Started The Road tonight, not expecting it to relive my soul's aching wang pain.
rowboat » pro 1 months ago
Your soul's wang will know no comfort this night.
apocowarg » pro 1 months ago
Compared to the ending of Blood Meridian I found the ending of The Road to be kittens chasing butterflies across a golden field of dandelions and sunshine.
rowboat » pro 1 months ago
Yeah, but how comfortable is your soul's wang?

....

That's what I thought.
apocowarg » pro 2 months ago
I just wanted to let you know that after reading these comments I purchased Blood Meridian. I'm only thirty pages in but son of a bitch it has got some hooks in me.

"Kick his mouth in, called Toadvine. Kick it."
fineoakstructure » neu 1 months ago
there's a Pavement argument on assetbar?! Aww man no one told me
mrslickster » neu 1 years ago
You have to give credit to lie bot, he didn't mention what the priest did to the boy while he was determining just how dead he was.
fuckyoufriday » neu 2 years ago
Whooo! definitely not.
raccoon » neu 2 years ago
much like the story of pinnochio, this has been changed much over the years to become the little dutch boy story we are all familiar with today.Onstad actually represents the historical truth behind the tale.
dougthehead » neu 2 years ago
Lie Bot Phillipe = Comedy gold.
stuart » neu 1 years ago
I don't know why the plus signs disappear, man.
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Lie Bot - (-Philippe) = Comedy Gold

There you go.
pogo » neu 1 years ago
Math genius!
layzerblade » neu 3 weeks ago
[url=www.timecube.com]Gene Ray[/url] would disagree.

"-1 x -1= 1 is WRONG, it is academic stupidity and is evil. The educated stupid should acknowledge the natural antipodes of 1 x 1 = 1 and -1 x -1 = -1 exist as plus and minus values of opposite creation - depicted by opposite sexes and opposite hemispheres. Entity is death worship - for it cancels opposites."

TIME CUBE!
mattylite » neu 1 years ago
Somewhere a ways back some people figured out some plus sign alternatives, but this is way way better. Lie Bot really is Comedy Gold once you take away the absence of Philippe.
zem » neu 2 years ago
of course the dutch have a place to send people to be killed
achilleselbow » neu 1 years ago
Why'd you go and say that? You know that sooner or later someone's gonna come along and make a Holocaust joke.
firesign » neu 1 years ago
Had to play that card, didn't you? I'll show you. I wil.

Two guys, one of them Jewish, are walking through the maple orchards in Canada. They're looking for good trees to tap (checking by knocking on them), so they can get sap to make syrup. They're having no luck , and the non-Jewish guy says "Man, checking all these trees is such a hollow cause."
The Jewish guy gets really offended, whirls on him and says "What the HELL did you just say to me?"

There. Is that what you wanted, achilleselbow? Or were you expecting something about Volkswagens and ashtrays?
orvel » neu 1 years ago
They call it the oven.

The Dutch Oven.

You are gettink it, yes?
gmm » neu 1 years ago
Oh. Oh my. I got it. I wish I didn't.
phthoggos » neu 2 years ago
How many other strips feature Philippe in those adorable fucking jammies?
shirt145 » neu 5 months ago
When coupled with your avatar you make Max look like a child molester.
nurdbot » pro 2 years ago
Oh Liebot, you whacky mentally scarring jokester you!
catachresis » neu 2 years ago
You would expect Onstad to have an off-day after such an epically brilliant arc. But no.
epicurus » pro 2 years ago
My Non-achewood friends have literally fallen over alughing after reading this.

And as someone who has read the entire unedited Brothers Grimm I can tell you Lie Bot's story is within 20% of being several actualy german folk tales.
qingofchina » neu 2 years ago
I am just going to paraphrase what I would have normally put here by saying "I agree with this comic."
rotating-dog » neu 2 years ago
This is the best fairy tale in the history of the known universe. My kids are gonna be real screwed up.
cousinted » pro 1 years ago
life is cruel and you will die one day! Goodnight!
relaxing » neu 1 years ago
The end! No moral!
steerpike66 » neu 1 years ago
I love to imagine the evil speed that Lie Bot employs after he delivers the coup de grace. 'The End! No Moral!: Philippe is plunged into darkness with that callous click.
envika » neu 1 years ago
a good way to unwind after the great outdoor fight
killingthejay » neu 1 years ago
NO MORAL?! WHYYY?
cailetshadow » pro 1 years ago
Poor philippe. :( All he needed was the first panel of LieBot's story.
pez » pro 1 years ago
i like philippe's matching bunny slippers and jammies
falseprophet » neu 1 years ago
Before, Onstad used complete black to represent darkness, but this time he went with negative space - not just so that he could depict Philippe's persistent reaction of horror at Lie Bot's tale, but because it also symbolizes Philippe's inner experience: the realization that his entire world has turned on its head. Up is down. Good is bad. Pleasure is pain. White is black.
professorhazard » pro 1 years ago
Why can't I rate this higher than five?
madmaki » pro 1 years ago
I stuck my finger in a dyke once...
wittyname » neu 1 years ago
I'm so glad my mind wasn't the only one who jumped to that upon reading this strip.
soticoto » neu 1 years ago
What is a dyke doing letting small Dutch boys near her anyway?
ringwoodcomics » pro 1 years ago
Are we sure his name is not I Am Horrible to Children Bot?
niraj » pro 1 years ago
I always imagine a pause where Phillipe waits expectantly for Lie Bot to say something reassuring only to be told there's no moral. Perfect.
heccibiggs » pro 1 years ago
"The end! No moral." The juxtaposition of the exclamation mark and full stop (or "period", for yanks) is one of the most genius things about this strip. Like, you can imagine LB saying the first part in an incredibly over-cheery voice, and then saying "No moral." really quickly and harshly.

Am I reading too much into punctuation?
epicurus » neu 1 years ago
Yes; ?
mattylite » neu 1 years ago
Nooo!
norsef » neu 7 months ago
Maybe! No punctuation
fosters » neu 1 years ago
I fucking love "Not in general." as an answer to "Is he ok?"
aliiis » pro 7 months ago
YES, 'Not in general.' and 'Sorry, true.' pretty much slew me. The devil is in the detail.
weapon86 » neu 1 years ago
His slippers almost look like his speaker slippers with Rabbit ears. "Here comes, a very special boyyyy"
ampkit5 » neu 1 years ago
You mean the Great Outdoor Fight. But I agree that hard was the coming that Onstad did to surpass the GOF.
xiaomimi » neu 1 years ago
Weekend Blogs (Friday - Sunday)

Ray: It is a damn fine evening.
Mr. Bear: A Borrowed Hobby.

Today's Blogs

Molly: The Achewood A-list - - My Man's On It!
satyr » pro 3 months ago
Sometimes, Molly Dear, I wish I had a female like you. But then Cassandra deserves you more than I do. And, you know, I'm not much of a cat at all.
comrade_tom » neu 1 years ago
Lie Bot i think i love you.
pogo » pro 1 years ago
After reading the whole "Great Fight" arc in one sitting, coming to this little no moral tale is, well, sort of appropriate. "I'm Phillipe, do you remember me?"
varnish » neu 1 years ago
"The End! No moral." This is what God will tell you when you die.
kikineko » neu 10 months ago
From all the choices he made to find someone to read him a bedtime story it had to be Lie Bot. Poor little otter, you. You just had to look for trouble.
speth » neu 8 months ago
actually euthanasia is legal here in holland
fermatprime » neu 6 months ago
five'd. Pretty sure if you don't laugh at this one, you won't enjoy Achewood.

prove me wrong people
nyl » pro 6 months ago
Attention, all cute things: give up. This wins.
jaldor » neu 1 months ago
That isn't any worse than anything Hans Christian Anderson put out. I realize that's he's Danish, not Dutch, but quite frankly all those Scandinavian countries blur together in my mind.
litfanbreastman » neu 3 weeks ago
How does Liebot keep getting into the house?
Displaying all 127 comments