Roast Beef Flowchart

Roast Beef Flowchart 02/28/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Do you want one of these with your name instead of his? Let me know.

Rate this Strip:

« prev 1st rand curr next »

Embed the Strip

Embed:
Facebook:	Share on Facebook

Login to post a comment

Displaying all 79 comments

The original flowchart. Must give Beef props for keeping on keeping on.

It's like looking in a mirror. And the contrast of the Philippe chart really elevates this in to "best of" territory.

Yes!
Hi!

Phillepe has the best flowchart ever. I'm tempted to apply it to my life.

Hi!

Yes!

Because of a problem?

Hi!

Yes!

I know days like this. I know days and days.

Chubby just for your python handle.

Hell yes!

Thank you, good sir.

Eating spoons of peanut butter because it is the only thing in the house that doesn't require preparation. Man has being depressed down.

Beef's is my favourite of the flowcharts, but for me 60% of this strip was the Philippe, which I am all about.

The scary thing is, if you track my progress from age 5 to now, it's like Philippe's chart magically fading into Beef's.

That is so true of me as well that it frightens me.

Yeah that is true of all of us dogg we are on the internet. It is not a thing we need to mash out.

Hence the avatar.

That ain't magic, that's just life.

If i weren't so cheap, i would buy the strip

oh just print it off onto white construction paper and fake sign it and throw a frame around it. i hate myself.

"Just online but definitely not like books"

*sigh*

that woman is hell of terrible.

i'm not ashamed to say that hell of, hella and such as have gradually crept into my vocabulary. i think everyone just thinks i'm a little touched.

well they're definitely picturing a small apartment decorated with owl posters.

Me too, but then again I live in the Bay Area. Although I imagine Achewood alone would have been enough to start me talking like a dude from Circumstances who grew up in San Carlos or wherever.

Me three, and I take hell of flack for it even though I'm from here.

such as meaning things like is hell of awesome!

I said hells no the other day.........

Both my flatmates are huge Achewood fans, so with nobody to stop us and say, "Sorry, what is 'wicked sack'?" we're developing such as an Achewood-based dialect.

Everyone has redeeming qualities. Judge Judy had a Johnny Rotten case. Is on youtube.

My God, me too. I try not to use 'hella' too often around friends, but whenever I do, they just pause and look at me with mild bemusement.

Muppets for snacking only, no full meals.
(I can not pull them off quite so well, but it doesn't stop me.)

Me too! Nothing new, alas - they already believe I'm one hella freak here in the conservative Midwest cornbelt.

I've started replacing "does not" with "ain't".

"Hell of" has replaced "many" and all such synonyms in my daily vernacular. I find my life better for it... Hell of improved.

OH WELL

Where is self pleasure?

:D philippe! i want a philippe.

Roast Beef is probably my favourite character. This flow chart helps me to explain why!

The contrast with Phillipe is just the cherry on top of the comedy sundae (comedea sundae?)

I've had days exactly like his. Beef, anyways. Philippe's too gosh darn happy.

Am I craving Chinese food because I'm dying?

My sister printed out this strip and blue tacked it to her wall and way day my mother found it. She didn't understand it was a joke and thought it was an actual flow chart designed to gauge depression.

Beef should know better than to read the online news. That stuff is hella bad for depression.

If you put these flowcharts in sequence, you've got a pretty good guide to manic depression.

Yes.

Hi!

this is perfect

no matter what way things go, beef must eventually try and open the blinds.

Chubby for your avatar alone.

this is so depressing :(

This freaked me out the first time I saw it. He knows about the peanut butter!

Fine by me, as long as he doesn't buy into that "proof against evolution" crap.

Huh?

Creationists have claimed that peanut butter disproves evolution because life doesn't spontaneously form in it.

Wow. That sounds like that magazine I read where they were saying that rivers running through canyons prove intelligent design because "why wouldn't they just go AROUND the mountains?"

Fuckin'... RAIN!

Then again, they also think that bananas are proof of creation because they fit so well in your hand.

This is the first strip I gave a five before I finished reading. Probably because I spent about ten minutes considering all the possible routes of Roast Beef's day.

No matter what, you start at the same point and end at the same point. This flow chart could be simplified to "ARE YOU DEPRESSED?" "OH WELL"

Look closer. You can also end up with "AT LEAST TRY TO OPEN THE BLINDS."

This is my brain.

I have never gotten at all choked up because of a flow chart before.

This one was hell of hard to read, but completely worth it.

If only I could give this multiple 5's.
Onstad is a master of comedy.

Hi! I am Philippe! Yes!

OH MY DEVILS!
THATS ME!

This flowchart is about ME! ONSTAD this is me!

I would want one of these with my name on, but then I quit computer science and did something less soul crushing.

The worst days are the ones where I have to tell my own internal monologue to stop yelling at me.

Philippe's decision-making chart is the same thing if you're on heroin too, I think.

I think this was the strip that led me to describe my status as 'Roast Beefy' for quite a while. When I respond to personals profiles online, I try to hide this part of my reality, and rely on the Philippe technique: HI! YES! Sometimes it works.