worrisome, indeed.

http://www.cwgp.org/gurewitch_and_onstad.php

appears to be in Rochester New York
Nick Gurewitch and Chris Onstad Wednesday, February 10, 2010

whoever wrote the copy for that really fucking sucks

I didn't know about this, as I feel twitter is a giant pile of shit, but for those interested (who already probably know):
achewood twitter - you can read Onstad's 140 character stream of consciousness.

Oh my goodness, the raised eyebrow in panel two. Sometimes, the machinations of Ray confuse even the five-year-old otter.

He is just the cutest little Ray.

That pose of Ray wasn't there! Are you seeing things?
How could you overlook that WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU

I could be wrong, but the Ray head looks like his raction to 'hot tranny mess'.

Holy shit ladies and gents, it is in fact his made Teodor look at a dick I drew and he was so pissed face.

hell of awesome!

Arghhhhhhh, why doesn't this have more chubbies?
Phillippe be straight-up mackin'.

mackin til her eyes roll back in her head! barbed wire arm tattoo!

I love where this is going.

im going to steal this.

BRILLIANT! BEYOND DESCRIPTION!
ARE YOU ONSTAD?!

Philippe is versatile. Also, she's so savvy she doesn't even need to look it up. Woo!

he's supposed to be wearing a thong.

what is the sack of onions for

I can dig the onions.

I can dig your avicon (assuming it's from Metropolis?)

Even in the 20s, they knew that robot chicks would be freaky hot.

Thank you NetFlix

word to your mnom. thats going in my qway.

**mom

om mnom mnom

om mnom mnom mnom on my mom, Tom!

Or Alex.

you thought no-one would get that reference didn't you

typo?
reference?
which one was it?!
the suspense is killing me!

om mnom... Mnomquah?

Good. Once you've dug them up, let me know and I'll send you a tape of something to play them.

You mean...dig them down the dirt or that they are pretty cool guise?

chubby for the pbf avitar

hell of relevant

Like in Harry Potter!

Gandalf died but came back as Dumbledore's hand.

And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time!

we don't seriously debate things here, and we're certainly not starting with a serious debate about the sociopolitical climate in the Harry Potter world. Mockereo's statement stands as a basis for absurdity. Continue.

[quote]And after Hitler died, everybody lived in peace for the rest of time![/i]
At least in Europe, so far.

The Bosniaks might beg to differ.

Well Canada's doing alright, yeah?

nobody really realizes but we're at war in Afghanistan.

speak for yourself.

Next target: that place where people look and talk different.

Canada.

In my opinion America and Canada are, for all intents and purposes and disregarding obvious cultural differences, very very similar with more similarities than differences. This is from having met a few Canadians from various places (BC, Nova Scotia, Toronto, Ottawa, among some other places). Canadians can yell at me starting now.

Mon dieu! You forget about the French-speaking Quebec! Very obvious cultural difference there.

Ottawa is basically part of Quebec.

Is it though? They wear Blue-Jeans and listen to Rock And Rolls.

word

Ugh, Afghanistan ruins everything.

fuck YOU, afghamistam.

Quote:

Ah yes, the Balkans. Have they ever been still? Sorry to have slighted the Southern Slavs, I was more thinking of France, Germany and Russia.

You know Russia dogs on Georgia like all day, right? France is kinda its own worst enemy, its never been able to get its shit together to start something since old times.

Its mostly just Germany has been very quite after it had a temper tantrum, embarrassed itself, then had a suicide in the family.

But as penance they must never be patriotic or think their country is good at anything. "Oh ja you know the school system in Germany is so underfunded, you know, and the students are all so blah blah blah complain whine bitch moan we can't like our country because that's Nazism." I paraphrase.

Top exporter in Eurozone should be enough the be proud of.

I've never met a German that hasn't qualified anything positive they say about Germany with something negative. And that's like seven Germans.

Oh man, I meant like World Wars, or really big empires clashing, or Napoleonic mass attacks. Everybody's got a province that needs a whupping now and then, pesky Chechnyans!

The Magyarok are actually in quite a bind.

Are they "hungary"?

*TISH*

granularsilica did you say that you would be here all night.

I heard he would be here all weekend! Wow!

He loves the city he's in and its inhabitants.

One show tonight, private! (I'm at a resort with my better half.)

Introducing the new iScream!

How many flavors?

You know he's a lititgious little fuck ( another true anecdote).
Years ago on usenet people were posting scanned ebooks of his stories and the guy heard about it; was all kinds of red-assed ready to sue them for loss of income- all 3 paying readers.
Had his barrister in on it, whole 9 yards.

Now you can say
The End No Moral, Dr. House

You forgot the "intelligence of an artichoke" category.

snort!
made me laugh. would chub again.

Quote:

he sounds like a dude that ladies would not want to spend much time with.

Story of my friggin' life!

two out of three aint bad.


please someone get that lame joke. please! my ego cant take any more deflation........

He is complex and unpredictable. And also crap-back crazy.

Is it a game about fucking hard or a fucking hard game?

the latter

for some people a victory in both is an equally challenging task.

HAHAHA! Oh god that guy is a douche!
I like his books though....so its kinda like Hamsun....sorta...

NO! I'm not comparing Harlan Ellisons writing with Hamsun's.

I like his sci-fi but come on!

Who won the nobel peace prize.....then sent it to Hitler....

You see where the Harlan Ellison comparison comes in?!

the prize for literature, not the peace prize. And he mailed it to Goebbels, not Hitler.

I had never heard of him before wikipedia

sorry...i suck...TIRED TIRED! Im sorry im TIRED!

Just to clarify for the curious: it was Knut Hamsun who mailed his Nobel prize to Goebbels. Harlan Ellison is not a Nazi, nor has he won a Nobel prize. He does however have NINE subsections under "Controversies" on his Wikipedia page.

HAHAHA!!!

No really!

I love you.

Thing is Harlan is a sci-fi Pat....but still he still have some Fuck you Friday dickiness moments...

Fuck it he's my hero.

Much like a volcano, he's wildly entertaining to watch from a safe distance. Besides, if there's one thing history has proven it's that severe personality defects are in no way an impediment to being a great writer.

Ellison survives on his sci-fi rep, but much of his non-sci-fi stuff is brilliant, also. "Neither your Jenny Nor Mine" very well might be the greatest short story of all time.

What about 'My Jenny is Your Jenny'?

Doublechubbied.

By Calvin Klein.

Later counterfeited as:
Chobbyduce
by Young Men in China.

The question is; what does the onions want in life!?

They...want to be potatoes?

THEN THEN NEED TO COPY THE POTATOES!!!!

Potatoes are useful, but they just a damn substrate. Onions are flavor.

Not to have their nuts shot off with a sawn-off shotgun?

we all(who have nuts in the first place) want that.

First Ray has the onions, then he gives Philippe the onions so as to transfer possession of the onions. In this case no one named Lester has the onions.

That was a stretch even Stretch Armstrong would have difficulty making.

Ah man, and his arms stretch out to next week!

'a onions

They're there to tie to your belt, which was the style in my day!

i'd assume they've got the glasses and necklace in them.

Ray monitored the other veggies himself, but Onions man....everyone knows you outsource that shit.

I'm ashamed to say it took me a week to work out that Ray was not trying to improve Phillipe with the Robbins tape, he just wanted the otter to monitor the onions while they absorbed postive ideas.

I know the Whole Foods $7 potato story is still going on, but at first it simply didn't click.

Perhaps that's why this has been the current strip for 10 days - to make sure thickos like me got it...

WHOOPSY-DAISY! SORRY, EVERYBODY!

you are awarded one forgiveness chubby.

I too took like six viewings to get it. I was just too ashamed to admit it until you emboldened me. Now I wanna admit everything, like how I used to think there was a word "shiek" that meant cool, and also a word "chic" (pronounced like 'chick') that also meant cool, and for some reason I'd hear people say shiek, but never see it written, and I'd read the word chic, but never hear it spoken.

Those onions are gonna be really good though

Depending on your interpretation of the Bible, that cross might have exactly the same effect as the Medallion of King Chochacho. Then again, it might also have something closer to a Volvo of Despair effect.

[IMGS OFF]

Looks alright.

jeffspaulding that looks like something I would photoshop.

I kind of expect better from you.

You'll have to subscribe to jeffspauldingshopsthebar.com Subscriber Content for the better stuff.....dai dai.

Fair complaint. I wasn't happy with it either, but I was actually trying to do work at work.

Also, I don't have photoshop. I have only ever used the MS Paint that comes with XP.

[insert Luddite joke here]

Also, if it was done well, you'd see that he has the Volvo symbol around his neck (which approximates the necklaces that guidos wore in the 70's).

[IMGS OFF]

Mars, banger of whores.

I am apparently too friendly, but I just want everybody to know that this comment has my chubby.

And my axe.

And my press!

What news from the North?!

Just commenting on your avicon--it's amazing, number one, but number two, is that the woman from Metropolis after she's been replaced with the skank-bot? She looks pri-tay devilish there.

Skank-bots!

Yes please, I'll take two!

They are not as neat as one would think. Lubrication is a huge issue

you mean you don't engage in all your sexual activities in a giant vat of motor oil?

realistically, no.

melted butter.

not in Heavy Metal 2000 it's not.

You damn kids and your remakes of friggin classics! The original was one of the greatest things ever. To say nothing of the comics (an early source of pornography for a growing bot). Also, at least half of the bands on the 200 version's album are terrible, and I have no idea how they got Bauhaus on there. Damn kids.

You kids, get off my lawn!

puguglypress you are the first person to come off my ignore list ever.

yeah im pretty cool

So you read through your ignored comments? Weird.

It might have been a context thing, like he saw someone replying to my comment and the reply made him curious about the original comment.

Right, okay.

Props for the Orgone reference. Now sneak in some Radium Water and we've got a deal.

Onions are best if you pee on the plant while it's growing AND talk to it

but.. what is the correct etiquette for such conversations? Cornelius would know.

I wonder if my mom knows.

"Are you a dirty little onion?"

My onions' favorite music is scat.

[[giggle]] thats a musical style named after poop......

Hedonismbot is clearly a man who knows his onions

It's even better if you don't urinate on your shoes while talking to the plant - avoid expectorations.

I thought that Philippe was saying he wanted to get money, like if Ray hadn't interrupted, the next line would have been "It's ME!" But that's awesome, too.

Do I smell a check for six dollars on its way?

What? No. That's the sack of onions you smell.

AAAAAAAAH

Is that "AAAAAAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED," "AAAAAAAAAAH I'M LOUD AND YOU'RE ADORABLE,"
or "AAAAAAAAAAAH THIS WAS SOOOO REFRESHING"?
(by the way, on a personal note, I've been out. Glad to see you nice-on-water. I plan on chubbying witty things you say. It's been a long time, ol' pun pal)

:D

I look forward to punny chubs.

But yeah, that was a AAAAAH I'M SCARED AND CONFUSED kind of, because young folks don't need genitalia enhancing or at least prominencing clothing for some time. This is something I have a real issue with. Ten year olds' boxers or training bra straps showing...no. This is not a good thing ever.

In troth, I hate even more than 10-year-old-bra is the section in Wal*mart where there are many bras that, were in not for their prodigious size, would be children's clothing (little cute flowers, smiley faces &c)
I look, and I think "Are these bras for large women who never grew up, or has the nation's tween become a gluttonous mass of DD flowerpower?"

maybe you guys should get a room.

Hello vomit my old friend

In restless anxiety I shop aloooone...etc

At this point I don't think anyone will complain about the storyarcishness of this. Assuming this will make a full transition into a comic about Philippe trying to be Ray, this is just the sort of old-school simple premise that made the original story arcs so wonderful. Compare: Beef, Metrosexual; Anarchist's Cookbook.

Well now that you've said it, of course it's been thoroughly jinxed. Hopefully not. I hope this one is handled with care like the precious cargo a Philippe arc should be.

oh, cool, I'm dancing to the rhythm.

will smith dances better though

your bear dances better than will smith
Dancing woman < Will Smith < Your bear
Sorry public school

chub for metropolis

V-chub for Wings of Desire

that was fuckin' cool, dogg.

Nice. Two Wilhelm Reich references. 1st panel ("little man") and last panel ("Orgone box").

This makes me happy.

[IMGS OFF]

Last time you posted the "You laugh at jokes made about you" drawing with it. You're slipping.

And your first reply was from nice-on-water, wearing the face of JD Salinger, who used to hang out in an orgone box from time to time.

Spooky.

This should've been intentional but lo, it was a coincidence. He also used to drink urine, so maybe a beaker full of urine would've worked too. I don't know why a beaker, but I thought of a beaker so why not.

A sterilized beaker of urine thoughtfully imbibed by a Wilhelm implies Science cred; whereas a bottle of Thunderbird in a brown paper bag honked by a guy named Willy does not.

A beaker of urine says professionalism.

I keep telling people that! but nobody understands my favourite beverage

The philistines...

A Beaker full of urine?

You've been reading my Muppet watersports fan-fiction.

Stiv, get over here.

BTW - the title for this strip now says "rb %was here" - does that mean there's a new strip about to drop?

I saw that too. No clue but it should mean that.

a lot of people's statuses are now set to "rb was here", including mine and I can't seem to change it. I think a certain assetbarrister got bored again and found some mischief.

WHOOP!

Hmm, well spotted. I hadn't noticed that.

Oh well, hope he's having fun, though I would have expected different intials than 'rb'...

You sound kind of like a pussy

I wish you'd shut up

same to you, gladys.

Philippe's face in panel two: he's taking this shit seriously.

He doesn't want to mess up like he did last time. He thinks he's ready now. He won't let Ray down again.

Right. Okay. With you so far.

That's pretty much the way I look when my thesis adviser explains stuff to me. "Right. Okay. Beta is a measure of detection bias. I am in control of this information."

Hey, what are you studying?

he is studying your mother.

He said without the faintest trace of irony.

His mother is often studied by students of statistical analysis.

Along with everyone else that owns a car.

I'm studying tactile processing... which, as it turns out, is grounds for even more innuendos than mom jokes.

I'm studying visual processing, high-five!

Kudos for handface of famous person icon .. Pope Paul?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_Bailey
"Derek Bailey (January 29, 1930 %u2013 December 25, 2005) was an English avant-garde guitarist and leading figure in the free improvisation movement."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkEnrrnTiYw

Okay. I'm an open minded dude. I've gotten on board with Schoenberg, Captain Beefheart, the Residents, Sun City Girls, Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, but this is just beyond that for me. He's not doing anything. He's just hitting random strings. Come on now.

*sigh*, you're such a <i>square</i>.

His music takes a bit of a brain-shift to appreciate. The best entry-route is via his Ballads album, where he transforms a bunch of jazz standards into a fluid, continuous solo performance.

<a href = "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED_iX8JxkiE">Laura - Derek Bailey</a>

P.S. I'm off to see The Residents later this year, :-P

Well, I guess HTML is NOT the answer.

It never was/is. But I will give this guy a shot.

I also followed that link and I don't think its anything i'll ever appreciate.

I appreciate the drummer, but I wish the guitarist would quit it. It sounds unfortunately like when i let my non-musical and also non-rhythmic friends play my guitars.

also ten minutes is a bit excessive for this sort of canoodling.

I agree with your agreement of me. It's alright when musical people go atonal because to sound bad good you have to know how to play good then play bad. But just not knowing and being bad bad is not good.

yeah there just wasn't enough music left in that to hold my interest. I can give some allowance to the atonal stuff that's interesting rhythmically, but this was not that listenable.

Okay, the guitar strap looked like an embroidered collar at first.

nice decides to pursue a musical style based solely on the advice of a stranger. granular explains why he misunderstood a profile pic. html falls short, and life on assetbars continues as always.

ShelbyDavis was here.

Oh. Are YOU the one behind the "rb was here" buggery of late?

Ha. I have no way of knowing how to use computers ever.

These are onions.
I know onions.

I won't chubby this out of spite because no one recognized my Langston Hughes reference.

Aw hell, here ya go.

A contraire; I recognized your american poet, and I raised you an american poet.
You may choose to counter with... an american poet?

I must've missed it then, so whoops, my "B."

I did (shout out to my 8th grade language arts teacher)

Ah, language arts: the retarded cousin of english that no one talks about. "Reading class" is language arts' dead goldfish.

That is amazing Ms. Robot Dance Party. All ryhming iambic tetrameter, and [aaba bbcb ccdc dddd] structure and such.

Ooooohh shiiiit!!!

I hope I am not too late for the 20th century American poetry/Achewood mashup. I have a submission.

Call the roller of fat jays
The tubby one, and bid him whip
Three egg yolks for the aioli.
Let the low dudes dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring cold white wine and crispy stellas.
Let us hope the small bear does not start undressing.
The only emperor is the emperor of wasabi dressing.

I laugh sometimes when I think about
say
Cornelius at a typewriter
or Lyle...
or Ray...
ordinary animals with feet, ears, eyes,
ordinary animals with hair on their heads
sitting there typing words
while having difficulties with life
while being puzzled almost to madness.

Lyle gets up
he leaves the machine to piss,
comes back
drinks a fifth of Old Grand-Dad and thinks about
the football and
shoving it three feet.

Cornelius stops, gets up, walks to the
window, looks out, thinks, my last regular
at the Dude and Circumstance died today,
I won't have to murmur platitudes
to him again.
when I saw him last
he paid his tab up;
it's those who don't pay their bills,
they live on and on.
Cornelius walks back, sits down at the
machine
is still for a good two minutes
then begins to type.

Ray stands over his machine thinking,
I wonder if they are going to believe
all these things I write?
he sits down, begins to type.
he doesn't know what a writer's block
is:
he's a prolific son-of-a-bitch
damn near as magnificent as
the Chochacho Sun.
he types away.

and I laugh
not out loud
but all up and down these walls, these
dirty yellow and blue walls
Roast Beef asleep near the
table
hiding his eyes from the
light.

he's not alone tonight
and neither am
I.

Droning a drowsy Tony Robbins tune,
Inanimate to a mellow croon,
I saw an onion learn.
Down on Via Vera the other night
By the bright white glare of Cadillac headlights
It laid there in a bag . . .
It laid there in a bag . . .
To the tune o' Awaken the Giant.
With its sienna roots dead out from the ground
It made that poor hipster spend her money.
Social awareness!
Rolling to and fro on a rickety table
It cost that sad hobo dude a seven-dollar toll
Sweet cash!
Coming from an American Curl%u2019s soul.
O Scratch!
In a deep song voice with a courageous tone
I heard that veggie sing, that old onion scream--
"Ain't got no knowledge in all this world,
Ain't got no care but for ma self.
I's gwine to quit bein%u2019 ignorant
And put ma self up on the shelf."
Thump, thump, thump, went dumb onions on the floor.
He played some chess then he screamed some more--
"I got the Cameroon Blues
And I can't be sold for cheap.
Got the BBC Blues
And can't be sold for cheap--
I ain't a dummy no mo'
And I wish that I was alive."
And far into the night he crooned %u2018bout Cameroon.
The choppers touched down and so did the Giant.
The onion stopped caring and went to bed
While the Political Blues echoed through his layers.
He slept like an onion or a man that's dead.

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, US News
From you I have read like a fool
For thirty minutes, dull and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Ray, I have had to read for you.
You dialed before I had time--
Marble-heavy, a box full of orgones,
A ghastly statue with one gray suit,
Big as a seven-dollar tuber.

I've seen the onions of my generation
Read to in a bag by Tony Robbins.

The apparition of these faces in the crowd,
Onions in a wet brown bag.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hipster in possession of their parents' income, must be in want of trendy vegetables.
However little known the feelings or views of such a hipster may be on his first entering a Whole Foods, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the marketers, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their product lines.

Once upon a time and a very progressive time it was there was an onion coming down along the road and this onion that was coming down along the road met a nicens little otter named philippe.

Ray told him that story; Ray looked at him through sunglasses; he had a cat face.

He was Philippe. The onion came down the road where Teodor lived; he sold pot to Little Nephew.

O the words of Tony Robbins
On the little yellow onion.

He sang that song. That was his song.

O the worst of Tony's robins.

When you wet the bed first it is warm then it gets horrifying. Teodor lit a joint. That had a queer smell.

Portrait of the Otter as a Young Cat

You're blowing my mind expellens.

Philippe has been potty trained. He knows never to take a shit with a devil-may-care attitude.

God of fun 'round Ray's neck...

Fellas, i'm sitting here listening to some music - the beatles rooftop concert - and i have this cat on my lap

the cat is all black - 100% black, and it acts like a dog - follows me on 3 mile walks etc

it's licking itself all over right now and I have never felt more strongly that Ray Smuckles is not a cat

I'm looking at him right now and i'm having to admit he looks a lot more like yogi bear with nipples than a fucking cat

My challenge to ACHEWOOD dedicated posters: post the jpegs of cats that more closely resemble Ray Smuckles than Yogi bear

Compare that to the first cat - it's clear that Ray Smuckles is a bear or at least a genetic mistake

[IMGS OFF]

I have never seen a cat that looked more like Ray than that li'l guy.

Someone please lame him for me. I am supposedly too mean to do it. :(

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

clicking on that link is so fucking annoying. Don't. It makes your internet window jump around really fast and plays an audio clip that says "Hey everybody! I'm looking at gay porno!"

please people this to oblivion so the disease does not spread

too fuckin' hilarious. I have been bested. I thought for sure there was no more exploits in Asset Ghetto... yet at the same time I suspected I might be wrong... sure enough...

the non-malicious link would be this :
http://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php

I can neither lame nor mark as spam. Had I known someone was going to post Last Measure I would have been more scrupulous. Damn.

It's the ears that make you think this but
[IMGS OFF]

Let's play "THE CAT IS SLOWLY EVOLVING INTO RAY"!

[IMGS OFF]

aaaa ray the cat get away from me!

Ray the cat isn't allowed near public schools anymore.

Ray the Cat is not allowed near local schools.
Ray the Cat understands that what he did was very wrong.
Ray the Cat has served his prison sentence, and just wants to get on with his life.
A local mother is running a petition to get Ray the Cat removed from the area.

Ray the Cat is not cool with his past life decisions but hopes to make better ones now that he has help because life is hard and we all need a little bit of support from others.
Ray the Cat is no different.
Ray the Cat wants to be better.
Ray the Cat wants what we all want.
Ray the Cat is doing his best.
Ray the Cat is taking it one day at a time.

[IMGS OFF]
"Phillipe, what did I tell you about bringing girl's to our business meetings?"

girl's what?

boobs

amen.

is that a defaced picture of david berkowitz(sp?)?

I was thinkin' Jim Jones.

Show me where Ray asked you to touch him on this stuffed kitty.

'stuffed kitty' sounds like title of some nasty porno.

I don't see it.

In the UK (and the Commonwealth?), a "stuffed kitty" could mean a jar full of money. But nobody would say "stuffed kitty".

I don't like what you're doing here. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.

Pilippe-Ray is the cutest thing since Philippe's bee costume MAYBE.

Misspelling Philippe I can understand. (is it two ells or two pees or both oh god I am not ready for this it makes no sense IT MAKES NO SENSE !) It's the people who keep calling Téodor "Téodore" and such that gets to me. It is the third most straightforward name (after "Ray" and "Beef") and what's more YOU ONLY EVER SEE IT WRITTEN DOWN. IT IS NOT LIKE THIS IS RADIO AND YOU HAVE TO GUESS AT HOW THE WORDS WOULD LOOK WHEN WRITTEN DOWN. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.

Also if you're unsure it's so much easier to spell T or Tacodor! COME ON PEOPLE THIS IS SIMPLE STUFF

I think "Pat" and "Nice Pete" are more straightforward than "Teodor"

Secondary characters to Teodor's primary. Put your thinking brain on, boy, shit.

you didn't specify that.

It shouldn't even have to be said. Shit, fool. Thinking brain. Invest in one.

Aisle brain, waz.

I ain't in the business of mentally covering for your failings, dogg

Good thing I never fail mentally.

...and then you woke up and realized it was all a dream.

WAY TO MAKE FUN OF THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED

BOO GREENKOOLAYD BOOO

would it feel any better coming from your ladyfriend gladi? in surri ei dint misepll awll da werdz. hoo du yu fink yoo r?

Wait what?

it was a tantrum. pay no mind.

Oh.

i'm basically a shit dude but spelling things wrong isn't a thing of intent it is like i have not done it right and then it will not such as let me edit man its just the way man

An edit function is sorely needed, this is entirely correct.

Is that what he was saying? I agree.

it's not a bug, it's a creature

I had to read this one twice to notice Philippe thought that a book about being successful was about a giant living in a mountain. Success on Onstad's part.

Yes, yes, yes, I love where this is going, I am excited, this is good, this is what should be. This is what was meant to be. There was a time before this, but that time is gone, and we will never speak of it again. We will never again speak of the time before Rhillipe.

Ray-leep? Phil-ay. Filet! Good! Bad?

Phray.

THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FIVE YEAR OLD EVER

everywhere he's furious. he peaked at five, on a cereal box, for the whole country to see.

shame on that kid. it's too bad that life has made him idiotic.

Wishin' he died from them Pop Rocks and Coke but damned if God didn't have other plans. He liked Life; he must suffer through life.

You gots any fresh shreemp gumbo?

I was about to make this comment and then I decided to see if it had been done.

GodDAMMIT, i_love_kate, you have ruined my day.

There is no silver medal in knife fighting, but there is a consolation chubby in this.

I gave this comment a lol.

I think he actually became a success and got a high-paying job in that time just to impress Ray

I figure like a false beard, it's just hooked behind his ears or something.

not to be a subscriber dick, but in the extra content was a diagram of the setup, a rosary from his mom glued to some reading glasses, because "he's not a 'shoulders-type guy'

it is extraordinary to be able to be a dick without trying.

sorry mom, sorry dad, sorry greenkoolayd

i meant in general. the combination of words you posted did not offend me.

Speaking of onions, is there presently any way to purchase the Achewood cookbooks? They're out of stock here and on Amazon and I really want them.

bla bla bla $10k up front bla bla bla

Man I ordered the CookBook II six months ago. I still do not have my copy.

I did get the kick-ass limited edition Phillipe Pint Glass though!

i have heard this complaint from others, as well. i have yet to buy the first one.

Is it just me or does it look like when he puts on the sunglasses, Philippe is as bald as Suge Knight (sans cigar)?

[IMGS OFF]

phillippe is considerably less menacing. and hes covered in fur, so i wouldnt consider him bald.

I wonder if the chain Suge's wearing there is a cross or a medallion...

Two Rays. One is five. The other is not.

reading this, I felt simultaneous jollity and nausea, as if while the rest of me was laughing, my central organs were straining to escape from a world in which such puns could be stated so casually.

I believe anyone who can expertly give rise to such an amalgam of emotion deserves at least a chubby for technique -- a "technichubby," if you will, although you won't.

sorry everybody

Don't apologize. I kind of lol-ed!

Oh, I will. I give out chubbies like Alec Baldwin gives out Glengarry leads. You want them, and you can't have them. And this comment made me curse my unborn children for having a father who was so clever yet failed... failed to see the otter pun. May Moe have mercy on my soul.

Every single one of Philippe's first eight words have a punctuation mark after them.

Food for thought.

regarding dialogue, phillippe is the anti-roast beef.

That's a very good observation. You obviously have an eye for these things. Have you considered the high flying world of being an English student?

Best comic in months

Don't like the repetition of little massive man though

Little Massive Man

the astonishing debut single

from

M.U.M.ford & tha $onzzzz

lol isnt dat teh guy whose gf got her snatch swarmed on by teh bassball team?

I thought we buried that. Oh well.