Aw man someone already made the spreadable dick medicine joke.

As they say, always the spreadable dick medicine, never the dog dick.

I don't think it's past its expiration date. Take a close look at what you can see of the last digit in panel 3; that loop doesn't look like it could plausibly be the top of anything but an 8, 9, or 0. If it were a 2 or 3, the right side would already be starting to curve in more, and if it were a 6 we'd be able to see the end.

In other words, if it's expired, it's at least a year older than Achewood itself.

not any arabic letter/numeral i can think of. what i see is a striking resemblance to a lone sperm...

I cannot chubby you. : (

That's Stephen Fry dogg

sure is, but its nice that robot from buck rogers knows who Serafinowicz is, he's pretty damn funny (particularly his michael caine impression)

Peter Serafinowicz is the only man I know of who could only ever speak in bold letters. I'M NOT A MONSTER, TIM.

I'd be inclined to say that Brian Blessed speaks in bold too.

People should quote Spaced more often

It's a fantastic programme. it shows you can have a pop culture reference a minute whilst still being clever and laugh out loud funny, something a lo of other attempts have largely failed at.

Oh lord I am sorry. I've just been watching a lot of Spaced and Look Around You reruns lately, so I'm sort of seeing Peter's face everywhere. :(

I lamed you, and I'm sorry. I can see it.

chubbied for the avatar as well as the comment velvetpresley, always nice to find another fan of "Newcy broon".

And yes, I know thats a hebrew letter. It just looked like a grin (it's a tet to be precise.)

Day-um! Atah medaber b'ivrit?

Ani medaberet otah! Ani koret shirim b'ivrit achshav!

(Goddamn that looks weird in English letters.)

Don't be jealous just because we're bilinual.

bilinGual

"I'd like to buy a vowell, Pat"

"Not to be diacritical, but wouldn't we all!"

Sweeeeeeeeeeet!
At ba'ah m'Yisrael?

No, no, no, nothing like that. I've just been studying it for the past three years or so. I'm nowhere near fluent. I started taking it because I wanted something more challenging than Spanish, in which I actually am fluent, but it turns out that Hebrew is motherfucking KASHE.

At ba'ah m'yisrael, yelda-chatula?

Loh, aval eemah sheli ba'ah m'yisrael ve dibarti ivrit kol ha chayim sheli

Hey! Respect the matzoh!

ching chong wing wong

The words are going the wrong direction! I feel dizzy....

BLANNEL MARRY TREEE ALLOW ME TO TRY TO BE ALIVEEEE IN YOUUUUU

PAIN LOVE FUCK MUNNIE/IT'S OKAYY TO TRY IT BUT PLEASE LET ME BE

Virtual chubby.

Yes, virtual chubby. Enjoy.

I thought it was the handle to a drawer. You know, those ones with the sliders that control the temperature.

This is Achewood. How likely is that, really?

yeah, I changed my mind when I considered the respective likelihoods of a) the handle being placed there and b) Teodor's scrotum being placed there.

flu ... not flue. Typo.

dude, the bottles were too high, he couldn't see. Also, you've clearly never woken and immediately fallen into a blind panic about something. Dude wasn't paying attention, to hilarious results. The real question is, if dog dick medicine tastes spicy like Horseradish, how does a dog abide it on his dick?

Virtual chubbyyyyyyyyy!

Ford is correct.

Have you never experienced a morning in which the first words out of your mouth were, "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK?" The last time I woke up very late for work, I basically broke everything in my room looking for a goddamned belt. I was throwing everything looking for this belt. I'm pretty sure I ever threw the belt, itself, a few times.

These sorts of things happen on these sorts of mornings.

I would say that you're being way too critical. I would say that, but I won't, 'cause it's you opinion to use as you wish.

I think this is an above average strip.

This one would make complete sense to me if it weren't for the part where the guy gets angry because it tastes like dog penis medicine (how does he know?) and then is cool with it when his suspicions are confirmed.

The rest of the strip I can unfortunately relate to all too well.

The part you're referring to, when the construction worker identifies the taste, happens only in Teodor's mind.

Try it now.

Yeah, I can see that, but there's just something about the phrasing in that panel that makes it not work that way for me. Dunno what to tell you.

*sigh*

The panel with the gray background occurs within Teodor's (gray) thought bubble in the prior panel. The worker dude never identifies the taste of dog dick balm, this is just Teodor projecting the worst-case scenario onto the future with his mind.

Yeah, I know, as I said, it's the phrasing, not the artwork. Something about it bugs me. Can't roll with it. Damn you, thoughts! Make the comic work!

I'm gonna grab you by the shoulders and just shake you until you realize that this is the funniest strip ever.

The shaking doesn't help...oh, how I wish it did...

I want to pretend I knew that all along, but I did not. Thank you for making this comic work for me. CHUBBIED

Shit, there were three amigos?

Wait, you can walk out of a theater? You mean I didn't have to sit through all of Monkeybone?

The fuckin' stars didn't sit through all of Monkeybone, man.

You guys are on penis medicine. Monkeybone was good.

Normally I would disagree, but the tidy involvement of the penis medicine motif has left me with no rebuttal. Well-played, sir.

Relax, paperboy. Bet the whole story idea started by noticing just how easy real world examples of the above products would be to confuse, not the other way around. It is likely the MOST plausible part of the strip.

And Three Amigos was intentional camp. The expectations are a little different. It is actually harder to write something that works as well as that movie does while remaining firmly planted in the most obvious and unlikely circumstances than it looks. Not your cup o' noodles? Don't blame the movie! As camp goes, it was first rate.

To the rest of you, I must confess feeling >cough< uncomfortable with Monkeybone making an entrance in comment on a strip about penis medicine. I'm at a loss for words....

Ahem... Seeing as we are not familiar with sarcasm, I'm going to go ahead and close the cash register now, thank you.

Not me; I set aside a certain amount every day in a clean glass jar on top of the refrigerator and, when the end of the month draws nigh; I withdraw the correct amount for rent with a smug little flourish.

I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten to take my dog-penis medicine today. My condition has come out of recession.

"...but that's not why we do it."

- Richard Feynman

Man, you know Onstad wound up having to buy the most ridiculous medicine ever, then took it home, looked at it, and thought, "Well, I do write a comic strip. Aren't I REQUIRED to do one about this crazy shit?"

Voila.

My only thought: So, just how does he know what it tastes like?

Please, don't answer that.

you know I like the idea but the presentation is wrong. Emulation of a characters speech is so pasee.

how is lyle more responsible than teodor? or is this just an opportunity for him to be mean?

I think Teodor is getting depression. I'm worried about the little bear.

he doesn't even care about wobbling his blobby little naked form around the house anymore.

Do not worry, someone with depression would not react so quickly & with inspiration to solve the problem of non-rent-money. They might in fact get out of bed quickly, but only to sneak out of the house undetected and spend all day in the library or even bookshop (if it has armchairs) reading all of Sandman again.

Oh my God, that's how I spent my Saturday.

My favorite part of that sequence is when Gob is talking about how the Sword of Destiny must have been put there by fate and then when the Chinese guy tells him about the ancient tale of warning he goes, "Yeah yeah yeah, I make up my own path, just ring it up with the Dong Tea."

I pee when that happens.

Also when he impresses Michael with the sword, sheaths it and seemingly drives it right through his thigh or something.
"Forget George Michael! I'll buy you a million George Michaels you can teach how to drive!"
"You're losing a lot of blood, aren't you?"
"I think so, my socks are wet."

(Gob rolls up on his Segue)
"Michael, I was looking for you..."
"Looks like you were looking for dragons Gob...in the future."

I would love to shop at Ancient Chinese Secret

Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?

I walked right into that

Sadly, it is not a stainless steel bear trap of the kind that necessitates the removal of your gangrenous shin. Count yourself lucky, sir/madam.

Are you suggesting it is not medicine for a dog's penis, but rather medicine made from dog's penis? What ailment could possibly be treated with such a remedy?

Looks like the Achewood Generator now allows Teodor to be the main character.

ha ha ha ha ha ha

The one lame is asmodi.

Rick is actually Mike from the "Best of Hot Tub Brawls" DVD

Good call up until the fact that Rick is an allusionary dog. The fellow is named Klein here.

Wait, no, smack me. Klein's his rich cousin. The worker is unnamed. I'm in a Teodorian state of wakefulness right now.

Chubby for being Batman.

Quoi?

I am fairly certain that there is an episode of the original Batman: The Animated Series from the early '90s where Batman solves the St. Ives riddle, but I can't find a YouTube of it or any decent episode summaries.

If my subconsciousness has completely made this up, then I revise it to a chubby for being Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard With A Vengeance.

I'm almost positive this is not the case. I have the complete animated series on DVD and I do not recall this.

Batman did do a lot of riddle solvin, though. Seemed like every freak in Gotham loved their mind games.

True. But I don't remember no St. Ives riddle being mentioned.

Then again, I don't know what the St. Ives riddle is.

Oh, that's simple:

Quand j'irais a` St. Ives,
j'encontrais un homme avec sept femmes,
et chaque femme a sept sacs,
et chaque sac a sept chats,
et chaque chat a sept chatons.

Chatons, chats, sacs et femmes
Combien des tous vont a` St. Ives?

Gee-wiz, you're right! A working class male with a handlebar moustache is more likely to be called Roscoe.

Someone has been watching scrubs...

I admit your post made me sad. I thought just maybe I was the first one to notice, but to make sure, I Ctrl-F'd "Brawls" and this came up.

Nice alliteration.

there are and several are good.

I guess they might appear that way if you ate enough dog penis medicine beforehand.

Snatch and Lock, Stock, and two Smoking Barrels were both very good movies. It's wierd to want to turn on subtitles for a movie in English, though.

I do that all the time, but then, I am hearing impaired, so I sort of depend on them. And closed captioning for TV.

i am not hearing impaired, but i like reading along, anyways.

*shakes fist at Reading Rainbow*

One has forgotten that essentially they are the same movie.

"Revolver"'s a load of shite, mind. I blame Maddona for this.

Not several so much as two, but still doesn't deserve lames

whoa! for a minute there, i thought to myself, "now why would I ever say that."

however, a very savoury salve to apply to a bologna sandwich

Hey yes this is a good one. I was not expecting the beef face 9th panel or nudity. But just a question, don't they live with onstad? shouldn't that bum be paying rent? I mean teodor is a stuffed animal.

Maybe Onstad is the kind of guy who charges his stuffed animals rent. After all, he did force Teodor into nude slave labor that one time.

Also, I don't mean to channel retardo here, but what does it say about Teodor that his first money-making idea that comes into his head is something that requires him to be around construction workers?

And he has this idea buck-ass naked.

I think T is the kind of guy whose first morning thoughts are so urgent, covering the cranberry always gets pushed to the side of the idea pile.

T is the kind of guy whose first morning thought is whether his Cure covers album would be looked upon favourably by Pitchfork.

I'm sorry, but jordstar, your avatar freakin' cracks me up! I chubby you for this, and this alone!

I was just really impressed that he actually went through with selling sandwiches the day his rent is due, because that is just a really silly idea.

That's on the level with Philippe's Smile Business. Though Teodor actually pulled this off, whereas Philippe just frightened Beef. : (

Excitable dude with hell of annoying voice providing step by step commentary and instructions.

I'm thinking Craig Charles.

Yeah, that's how it was last month. Dudes trying something new.

Sandwiches an' Smiles!

(My new business)

Awwww! How much is a smile?

btw, your avy still speaks of your beauty

shhhhh

your beauty is like having a friend who is a painter, they won't brag so I have to.

I went through like 8 analogies to find one that worked.

I am a painter

you are creepy

go away

that analogy was stupid

I know it was stupiid, yet somehow it was the only one I could find!

RIDICULOUS

Frankly Blarghamagarky I'm going to have a hard time sympathizing with your recurring predicament until you put on a shirt.

fair.

Perhaps he could Dildo the sandwich for an extra $1?

Thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! (LOL)

I like to imagine that he says "I'll...sell...sandwiches!" all W. Shatner style, even though I know Chris ain't mean it that way, because it's just funny.

And Onstad's a cartoonist.

I say it's a smart financial move.

Class Tension and Dog Penis Medicine: A Study.

Today Achewood is a shining example of the situational comedy, or "sitcom," a term first coined by Herschelberg Rosenblatt, an executive producer with the First National Broadcasting Company to describe their newest program, James Thurber's Remembrances of Things Past in 1949.

I guess Teodor's attempt at writing a boorish, controversial column to be syndicated around the English-speaking world at $100 a go hasn't worked.

Yeah, it's the totally the 29th. The rent isn't due for another day. Lyle is fucking with Theodor for not knowing it's a leap year.

Actually, it's leap year. Lyle knew it. Teodor, it seems, did not.

Morning grogginess will do that.

I think Lyle's trying to cash in on T's disorientation and panic, then guzzle it down when T has the poor judgement to hand it to a ne'er do well tiger.

Well, I don't usually do this, but chubby for "ne'er-do-well." In spite of the fact that it so well describes myself and many of the people with whom I surround myself, it's a fantastic word which I don't hear nearly often enough.

Isn't "ne'er-do-well" the phrase that in time got turned into the word "nerd"? I might be mistaken here, rowboat. I just might be mistaken.

God, I hope so. That would make it even better.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I heard on NPR today that "nerd" was coined by none other than Dr. Seuss himself, which may be even cooler.

I am awash in a sea of awesome.

*ahem*

Y'all some nerds.

Thank you.

To be precise, it's a leap year, which, apparently, Teodor did not realise. Lyle, however, did.

Today's post was brought to you by the comma.

Oh right, it is a peek inside the gray thought bubble. Subtle, that.

deserving of 16 chubbies for saying the obvious?

not to sixteen (now nineteen, including myself) people it wasn't

To his credit, Dog Penis medicine does possess a certain piquancy.

I really don't want to know how you come to know this...

Two days later the worker expired from ingesting a lethal volume of external-application-only dog penis medicine. He believed the "Do Not Ingest" warning label was simply a crazy-ass slogan like they come up with for hot sauces. ("This will burn your eyes out", "Your body will be unmade", etc.)

That was like an Internet Rube Goldberg device. Thank you. I was afraid it might not come off.

Your avatar has turned towards me, baryonyx. I hope this is not going to be like Stephen King's "The Sun Dog"?

I seeeee yoooooou.

I was going to say something about it but I got scared.

-_-

Dog penis medicine is a salve?

The only medicine a dog can actually look forward to.

Why should dogs have all the fun? Why isn't there, like, an aspirin, or maybe even a painkiller that can only be absorbed through the phallic skin? Come on, America. Don't let me down know.

Please try this and report back.

I think I know what that is, but I also think I'm not going to click on it at work.

It is safe but the url won't work unless you remove the trailing slash, I fear. Foiled by Assetbar once again. When are the class-action sign-up forms being published?

I'd sign up, but I'm sure the lawsuit will fail.

No matter how many perceived slights Assetbar is accused of here, I can say that I, myself, have been at fault for 100% of my mistakes. Once you learn the admittedly odd, though certainly tangible law of the land, it's all you. People need to start taking responsibility for their own damned hasty infractions.

Would you blame the sun for burning you?

Yes, actually, and I have sued.

See, this is why we need tort reform.

At the risk of being pedantic, you actually opt out of a class action, not in. If you've ever cashed one of those $1.35 checks you get with a little booklet of boilerplate legalese from your bank or mortgage lender or insurance company, you have waived your right to opt out of the class and sue separately. Even though I should know better, I always read those booklets, generally when slightly drunk, and always cash the checks.

Clearly the next Acheworld fan fiction project has been identified.

You took the risk, and now you're paying the price.

You are being pedantic.

Good to know, though. Even though I spend about as much time dealing with mortgage lenders as I do dealing with the Prime Minister of Malaysia, it's good to know.

Or this.

<a href="http://img217.imageshack.us/my.php?image=salvemc7.jpg" target="_blank">

Goddamnit it I am so stupid.

Hot damn, that is sort of impressive shit right there.

Totally, he didn't even finish it. Just wrote the first bracket and then slammed it out there for all to see.

Like heading outside in wintertime wearing nothing more than a sweater, a scarf and a hat.
And on top of that, Assetbar tripped him up and sent him flying balls-and-taint-up into the snow for all of us to see.

Oh man, multiple virtual chubbies for that one, friend.

Oh boy, multiples! They weren't even invented back then, but I GOT THERE.

Lord keep me away from those awful multiple chubbies.

I see that Pat's gay Dad was right about straight men/dogs and their profligate ways with posters and hot sauce.

Not until you mentioned it.

Thanks, I guess.

That sack is not wicked.

Way to spot the cranberry acoutrements, dogg!

Rock hard catcock is definitely a thing of Achewood, but have we ever seen bear ballsack before?

bare bear ballsack?

You have a hairy-minded pink bare bear.

I'd take that over a Care Bear ballsack any day of the week.

Of course.

god dammit

haha i saw it and searched the page to see if someone else had posted on it yet. YOU SUCK FOREVER

His mom never believed he would be able to afford made-to-order sandwiches.

your avatar.... terrifying....

Ricky is probably better off this way, considering that having something horseradish-like put on your penis can't possibly be better than whatever is wrong with it in the first place.

Ricky Craponi the scissors and dice bong maker or Ricky Nihoha the tongan van club president?

they both know todd so either are capable of being in the unenviable position of having to lather up with spicy dog dong meds.

oh. my. god.

Again, plot development pulled out of nowhere!

I am very glad that Onstad is well again. This is pretty good achewood.

This is my favorite in some time.

For a little extra, you have the prescription name custom. Gift tip: make the expiration date the birthday of the person you give it to!

George Cloony is learning Coptic.

Coptic, I tell you!

I went to buy a sandwich, but all I got was this dog penis medicine.

- Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

agree with me, friends, that in a perfect world, there is a hot sauce called Dog Penis Medicine

There will be now. With any luck, coming soon to an Achewood online store near you.

oh the taste of dog penis medicine, so familiar to all of us

Well I actually logged in to say 5'd oh so fuckin' 5'd. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Good one Chrissy-boy.

Chrissy-boy?

He's talking about the 'Stad.

That much, I think, was not in question. No, the question was of an entirely different sort.

You mean 'Stadermeister?

The `Staderoony

The Bad Rad 'Stad?

The morning after i made the above post i was disappointed in myself, I felt it was a puerile way to half-insult an internet guy. I now feel completely vindicated.

That's two Beef and Cheddar's, one curly fries, and a large Cherry Coke. Will there be anything else, sir?

Yeah, throw in a couple packs of Horsey Sauce. I think my dog's penis infection is flaring up.

Well this is completely karmic payback for Teodor's yelling at Beef on the 14th. I guess T needs a lamp to tell him what day it is, too.

oh man this month is like the closest to this situation i have ever come. desperation leading to the idea of selling sandwiches is not that far away from some plans i have considered. this fills me with hope.

uh, i'm pretty sure that's a bottle of dick cream, dude

This is a good first assetbar post. Welcome.

The bottom left panel blows my mind. Also, is that construction worker the guy from Hot Tub Brawls?

My god!

You may be right! I guess he's got more animosity with this Jason D. Kline than we thought!

You, sir, have a very good eye!

Quote:
I was gonna play this game, but this one made me quickly realize that I was not gonna do any better than that.

You're out of my league.

I feel like The Generalissimo is to Francisco Franco as Hot Sauce is to Frank's. Somehow.

*The Unbearable Spiciness of Being

*Napalm of the Mouth

Or the Irish blessing:
*May the Wind Always Be at Your Back 'Cause No One Wants to Smell What Comes Out of You After You Eat This Stuff.

How the hell does this not have eight thousand chubbies by now? I hate spicy food, yet I would buy this product.

*Napalmlingus

Hat's off to your first one, I laughed in an audible manner. And the second one, as I just watched Apocalypse Now like three times for English class.

You received my last chubby.

I regret nothing.

Oh wow, oh I mean nice, dude, that is fantastic.

I think I might love you.

HAHAHA! Oh, good one. I'm out of chubbies, but I wanted to show you my appreciation.

HEE HEE HEE, OH HEE HEE HEE

*A Confederacy of Oral Surgeons

When a truly spicy hot sauce appears in the world you may know it by this sign: that all the oral surgeons are in confederacy against it.

No-ones going to buy hot sauce that has the word confedercay.

simmilarly "confederation", "incorporated grouping", "coalition" and "alliance" are all terms that have no place in cooking.

and yes i am aware of Jamie Olliver's frequently used phrase "a confederacy of bangin' flavours me old muckers!" but this is the exception that proves the rule.

fuck misspelt confederacy, ah well serves me right for being a dick to a stranger.

Was this...from Dwarf Fortress?

* Ass Blaster, and the follow-up:
* Ass Blaster Mystery

(This one goes out to my sixth grade math class)

Well, it looks like all the entries have been submitted. I'm gonna go ahead and name the winners. And yes, this is official. Sorry if any feelings are destroyed.

Honorable mention: Heccibiggs - It's Like Being Fucked In The Mouth By A Third Degree Burn.

2nd runner-up: Shogun - Like Water For Grease Fire

1st runner-up: Tekende - The Unbearable Spiciness of Being

And the winner, by a landslide: Ethel the Frog - A Bowel-breaking Work of Staggering Hotness

You're all geniuses.

I know I'm coming into this one too late to be counted, but may I interest you in a bottle of Screaming Capsaicin Orgasm?

You may indeed!

Six hours ago, Shades could not have predicted how appropriate her comment would be in the wake of all these proposed nightmare sauces.

Thanks for making me snot in my Cherry Coke, dude.

haha

hey why did I get two lames for saying eww

I guess folks hated that you said that.

Assetbar is a demanding place; it's not enough to simply flatly state your opinion, you have to entertain everyone whilst doing so.

Assetbar is performance art. Assetbar is German for forum posting. Ruthlessly efficient posting.

i love how teodor's thought bubbles are asymmetrical piles of shit. and im sure he feels the same way

Like a Mr. Show sketch, this strip has at least two distinct turns. First the gruff customer realizes that it tastes like dog penis medicine and then upon seeing the label determines that it is in fact just a "crazy-ass name" of which he approves. That is masterful, that is just straight up excellence.

As has been noted already, the panel in which the customer recognizes the taste is all in Teodor's head. For obvious reasons, the construction worker has no idea what dog penis medicine tastes like.

I don't know what construction workers you've met, dude.

I stand by my statement, since I would think that being able to identify the taste of dog penis medicine would catapult one out of the construction worker category into the one marked "diseased transient".

Teodor is nothing if not resourceful!

Is Teodor hung over? There's something about the way he's groping towards sense that suggests he's struggling to reassemble his world back up from component parts, one concept at a time. I have been that hung over.

Anyone else getting that the construction worker sounds sorta like ray?

sorry if this has already been said, but:
1. why can't Teodor take two seconds to pull on some boxers?
2. it is not the first of the month.

1. WHY FIND OUT
2. (psst, that is the point)

I'M LEAVING AND RENT'S DUE AT FOUR

TAKE IT SLEAZY!

I think this is Photoshop, but part of me wants to believe you designed this, wrapped it around a condiment bottle, and photographed it.

The best part of course is that normally horseradish sauce isn't red.

Normally? I've never seen red horshradish before.

This stuff is so hot it has assumed the color of fire.

We established earlier that it had passed its expiration date.

Quote:

It also ain't normally dog dick medicine

Awesome. The pixelation is the best. Is that what the medicine is for? Chronic pixelated dog dong?

Damn, why did I run out of chubbies before this one?

I just ran out of chubbies myself, but this was hell of deserving plenty. And now I read "friendly" as "friend-o". Just when I though Assetbar couldn't be further antagonized...

I am always struck by how weird Teodor's body is.

I swear, Teodor's got to be Onstad's self-fears realized in ink form. Some sad, fat little chef badly playing a guitar into a speaker for virtual women.

Don't worry, dude. You could have depression.

That means so does a third of the English Speaking World.

Except I don't play guitar or cook. Well, that's a lie. I cook. I don't cook well.

as big of a supporter of achewood as i am, i never wanted to get involved on this board... people will probably flame the hell out of this because they won't like my negative comments...

i think this plot holds no water and is so far-fetched, the concept of a bunch of stuffed animals that live together having DOG PENIS MEDICINE in their fridge, when they don't even live with dogs, is ridiculous and not believable... now, if it were something more suggestive like otter-penis-medicine (poor little p) or something for lyle - like tiger balm or something, that would make more sense

I hate to be one of those guys that says this as his only rebuttal for a thing, but I don't think you get it.

"Tiger balm." Good one.

There is a dog.

(even though that's a female dog... I guess there's another dog.)

I get the feeling there was another dog, but it died a long time ago and that is why the medicine is so far past its expiration date.

No disrespect intended, Parkman, and welcome to Acheworld. But Teodor does live with dogs. Two dachshunds. They belong to his roommate and creator, Chris Onstad.

i think you're right.
Stuffed animals living together in the real word would never have dog penis medicine in their fridge.

"A specter is haunting the cinema: the specter of narrative. If that apparition is an Angel, we must embrace it; and if it is a Devil, we must cast it out. But we cannot know what it is until we have met it face to face."

- Hollis motherfucking Frampton

The set-up and resolution of this strip strike me as a uniquely Achewoodian take on a well-worn sitcom formula.

By this I of course mean dog dicks as a comedic device, as best represented by the episode of Friends where Joey accidentally glues his hands to a rather gregarious Corgi's excited member while trying to build a model airplane.

Somebody said the "F" word.

a slide whistle followed by a 'sproing'

Man, if that would have really happened in an episode, I would have watched that show religiously.

Ack- I accidentally lamed you. My browser lagged weirdly after I tried to chubby the comment above, and the two links lined up disastrously. My apologies.

Onstad ain't well yet. This mess of a strip is a zero.

It's silly for sure

Books, posters, T-shirts...and the like...I buy 'em all...I do not comment often, but Chris loves me waaaaAaay more than he loves you guys...

Well, he DOES.

What the hell is a lettuce slice?

I imagined a cross-section of a head of lettuce when I read that.

Dude loves his salad burgers, I guess.

what a fortunate turn of events

panel 8 is so good

This kind of good luck is normally reserved for Ray.

teodor sack status: wicked

It has been suggested otherwise.

This strip reminds me of this strip.

Go on, hate me.

On the topic of making the rent, I have found a large mouse - nay, a small rat - in my home. What I need from you all, is to help me decide on the method of the rodent's demise.

- A standard mouse trap that, given its size, may just catch and break a limb, making it go into shock and eventually die from starvation

- The anticoagulant poison that makes it bleed internally non-stop until it creates puss-filled pockets inside it, caused by invading flows of its own blood

- The poison that makes it shit itself to death

- Capture it, tie it up, put on some music and cold shoot it in the face

- Trampoline and a ceiling fan

- Use some kind of dark magic to bring to life a cartoon mouse, which will then ram a stick of dynamite up its ass

- 19-hour Simple Plan Live DVD marathon, eyes propped open with toothpicks

- Scream at it until dead

- Catapult/trebuchet out of town

Voting starts now.

Trebuchet. The PNDT has spoken.

Been waiting for you.

And trebuchet is always a good idea.

If you do anything other than set it free into the outdoors, you're a sadistic fuck.

Um, it's a rodent, a pest whose only means of existence is as a parasite on humanity. The outdoors is not it's natural habitat.

If he sets it free in the outdoors, it will only return to plague him, or plague some other person.

Don't be blinded by sappiness.

...and slightly masochistic, too. If you're a doctor on this board, you have to have a few kinks.

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That would be cruel and unusual. No living thing should ever endure this.

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May I suggest "Little Green Bag" by the George Baker Selection?