Oh dear lord Philippe, you're bleeding everywhere.

He's just trying so hard :(

ah-groobah-pfuh!

I've been looking at this comic for about 10 minutes cracking up at each of Philippe's expressions. Once one face ceases to amuse me, I look at a different one and the whole process repeats itself. I don't know how many times over I have read this now.

My favorite probably has to be panel seven.

He's just so determined, and at the same time PISSED about that bubble gum.

This is the first occasion the alt text has been better than the comic. Not that this isn't a good one either.

Nice Pete would be angered to learn that dehydration succeeded where he failed.

Me too! We should start a group on facebook.

(This is a joke, guys.)

not even close. there are quite a few strips where the alt text was the best thing going previous to this.

The dehydration occurs because, in concentration, Phillipe's tongue is sticking out of the corner of his mouth for 71 straight hours.

Mad points for enthusiasm... needs a little work on technique

That pretty much sums up Phillipe's character perfectly. This one reminds me a lot of "Rap music, my droogs!"

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Didn't Onstad say that before he decided that Philippe was still 5...? I hope so

Personally, I think that's an artifact of Early Achewood, when everything was a little different and not quite nailed down yet. Note that the text doesn't even mention Beef, Ray, or Pat -- so it was probably written even before they were introduced, or at least before Beef and Ray became as important as they did later.

A lot of characters were different in those days -- Cornelius was ignorant of alcohol, Pat spoke jive, Ray was a mysterious, shadowy figure -- I think it's safe to say that while mental impairment was originally part of Philippe's character, that's not true any more. Look at how literate he is in the Friday Facts! Even if Roast Beef edits it for spelling and grammar, I defy you to find me a normal five-year-old who's that literate. I mean, in the Lyle-gets-glasses edition of Friday Facts, Philippe censors "fuck themselves" to "sin against their own bodies." Seriously, how many five-year-olds talk like that? Philippe might have a naive worldview, but I think he's really pretty bright.

He can also instantly think of polyglot palindromes. I think the whole idea is that Philippe is only five, but he is also sometimes a genius. Not unlike a certain tiger-toting six year old.

How the... how the hell did he DO that?

I think I need to switch up my locks tonight, be right back.

The call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE oh shiiiiiiiii

Lordy lordy, have I been revenge lamed?? I can't even get mad about that. Regardless of our differing opinions on the humor of retarded philippe, I have to respect you for that. Your internet is far superior to mine.

Does Téodor expect that a kid with such a creepy mouth would be able to blow bubbles?

: /

I don't think you needed to say anything, your avatar says it all perfectly

I see it as the force of Philippe's distress expels a distressed emoticon from his mouth for maximum expression of same.

Mome: News you can't use.

When he gets ticked off its Mome-wrath !
am 1 rite guyz lol

It's hard to give a guy a chubby for telling you he's floppy.

a diatribe on the current administration?

Panel 6 isn't going to help the people who have to point out that Phillipe is 5 and not retarded.

facial contortions of jim carrey proportions.

reporting consortions with portion distortion

More shun the unapportioned blower's gum from Horsham while others score some in the tongue torsion quorum.

five. oh god. i want to see more of these "life skills" strips involving philippe's failures.

Perhaps in a strip with 11 panels, but I believe there are instances in the "Philippe Kidnapped" story arc where many of the strips took on an almost German expressionist cinema feel through their lack of dialogue, like this one perhaps http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11242003

You know, this one made some bad memories return. Makes me remember those "rages" we all got when we were young and just weren't able to do that little thing we really wanted to do, no matter how hard we tried. I sure didn't end up hitting my head that hard, or hitting my head at all, but i do know what Philipe felt, even though he doesn't exists.

I once saw someone wink, and I tried, and I just blinked, and I kept trying until I started to cry and ran into the bathroom, pulled down my pants, locked the door, and wouldn't come out until I developed the proper muscle control. My Dad eventually picked the lock, and they found me, trou around my ankles, sobbing and blinking repeatedly in the bathtub. I also apparently had an atlas with me, although I don't remember that part.

Fuckin' loved atlases.

"Fucking" here is a present participle, not a verb.

What happened to Teodor's gum?
...you don't think... no...

That's gross, Teodor. Just get him a new piece for Pete's sake.

I bet Philippe wasn't even near a wall when he started that. He was just trying so goddamn hard that he flung into it from halfway across the room.

God, why is this SO FUCKING FUNNY.

You smacked your head on the door jamb, Phillipe. How come?

Nice Pete does not kill.

Nice Pete simply hastens the inevitable ascent that all who live must one day undertake.

This is the box where the children will die

Eventually everyone's shot clock expires and they go in The Van.

This is truly the saddest thing.