Bubble Gum  09/18/2007 « prev 1st rand curr next »




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oplem » neu 1 years ago
Oh dear lord Philippe, you're bleeding everywhere.

He's just trying so hard :(
soupytwist » neu 1 years ago
ah-groobah-pfuh!
oplem » neu 1 years ago
I've been looking at this comic for about 10 minutes cracking up at each of Philippe's expressions. Once one face ceases to amuse me, I look at a different one and the whole process repeats itself. I don't know how many times over I have read this now.
oplem » neu 1 years ago
My favorite probably has to be panel seven.

He's just so determined, and at the same time PISSED about that bubble gum.
dersquirrel » neu 1 years ago
This is the first occasion the alt text has been better than the comic. Not that this isn't a good one either.
mobro_4000 » pro 1 years ago
Nice Pete would be angered to learn that dehydration succeeded where he failed.
excusemesenator » pro 1 years ago
I was going to say the same thing.
jthompson » neu 1 years ago
Me too! We should start a group on facebook.

(This is a joke, guys.)
deimosrising » neu 1 years ago
not even close. there are quite a few strips where the alt text was the best thing going previous to this.
zem » neu 1 years ago
post some examples i'd like to review them
greyfield » neu 3 months ago
Meg White. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12042006
zem » neu 3 months ago
that strip is from my 21st birthday
utv » neu 2 months ago
My favourite alt text of ever:
http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uua91Jdlq
cailetshadow » neu 1 years ago
The dehydration occurs because, in concentration, Phillipe's tongue is sticking out of the corner of his mouth for 71 straight hours.
hollis » neu 1 years ago
Mad points for enthusiasm... needs a little work on technique
shenred » neu 1 years ago
That pretty much sums up Phillipe's character perfectly. This one reminds me a lot of "Rap music, my droogs!"
myrrdisparo » neu 1 years ago
I find your statement questionable, since I don't remember Onstad ever saying that, but I'm doubtful, since I don't pay all that much attention to his blog. Still, if you would point in the direction where said words were written, I'd be delighted. Thanks in advance
elzilcho » neu 1 years ago
[url=http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=achewood&btnG=Google Search]First result[/url]
elzilcho » neu 1 years ago
*sigh*

You know, I used to ROCK BBcode.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=achewood&btnG=Google Search
lolcatdeluxe » neu 1 years ago
THANK you.
peterjoel » neu 1 years ago
Didn't Onstad say that before he decided that Philippe was still 5...? I hope so
luckypyjamas » neu 1 years ago
yeah i think it's been established that he's five, and not retarded now
edwell » neu 1 years ago
Google on Achewood, for the record: "A cartoon of modern life as lived by a retarded otter, an alcoholic tiger, and two bears."

However, Google didn't pull that text from Achewood.com itself - it comes from the strip's Open Directory description, which anyone could have written.
way » neu 10 months ago
Uhm, wow. I actually went and typed this into the searchbar.

I googled the google link.


*sigh*
twohundredninety » neu 1 years ago
Personally, I think that's an artifact of Early Achewood, when everything was a little different and not quite nailed down yet. Note that the text doesn't even mention Beef, Ray, or Pat -- so it was probably written even before they were introduced, or at least before Beef and Ray became as important as they did later.

A lot of characters were different in those days -- Cornelius was ignorant of alcohol, Pat spoke jive, Ray was a mysterious, shadowy figure -- I think it's safe to say that while mental impairment was originally part of Philippe's character, that's not true any more. Look at how literate he is in the Friday Facts! Even if Roast Beef edits it for spelling and grammar, I defy you to find me a normal five-year-old who's that literate. I mean, in the Lyle-gets-glasses edition of Friday Facts, Philippe censors "fuck themselves" to "sin against their own bodies." Seriously, how many five-year-olds talk like that? Philippe might have a naive worldview, but I think he's really pretty bright.
soticoto » neu 1 years ago
"Retarded" in its modern sense is also used to imply imply that someone does stupid things... whether through actual mental differences to average... or through simply being 5.

I was kinda retarded when I was 5, but I grew out of it by the time I was 11.
Sorta.
littlefatdog » pro 1 years ago
He can also instantly think of polyglot palindromes. I think the whole idea is that Philippe is only five, but he is also sometimes a genius. Not unlike a certain tiger-toting six year old.
overmedicated » neu 1 years ago
How the... how the hell did he DO that?

I think I need to switch up my locks tonight, be right back.
zefiel » neu 1 years ago
the LOLCATS give him the power to see beyond the evident.
lolcatdeluxe » neu 1 years ago
The call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE oh shiiiiiiiii
anitrophaeron » neu 1 years ago
Lordy lordy, have I been revenge lamed?? I can't even get mad about that. Regardless of our differing opinions on the humor of retarded philippe, I have to respect you for that. Your internet is far superior to mine.
hollis » neu 1 years ago
I just gave you all chubbies for being awesome and making my life a little less boring with your grudge-laming drama. Complex like Hamlet, yet with bold contemporary flair, "Lolcatdeluxe's Revenge" has made its mark on today's Internet stage."
soticoto » pro 1 years ago
And I just gave you a Chubby to balance it out... and for an amusing ending post.
mikemcg » neu 1 years ago
Does Téodor expect that a kid with such a creepy mouth would be able to blow bubbles?
andrew_ » pro 1 years ago
: /
phy » neu 1 years ago
I don't think you needed to say anything, your avatar says it all perfectly
andrew_ » pro 1 years ago
lateadopter » neu 1 years ago
Chubbies-to-word ratio: infinite. Unless someone finds a way to get chubbies for not posting, or for deleting comments, this will be the all-time winner.
baryonyx » neu 1 years ago
Chubby-to-word ratio undefined, actually. Were there a scale, he would have just broken it.
whasit » neu 1 years ago
I see it as the force of Philippe's distress expels a distressed emoticon from his mouth for maximum expression of same.
riazm » neu 1 years ago
Mome: News you can't use.
killerlimpet » neu 1 years ago
When he gets ticked off its Mome-wrath !
am 1 rite guyz lol
semiquaver » neu 1 years ago
Uhm. This is the least apparently literate Jabberwocky reference I've ever seen. Guys, I think this is gonna have to be a chubby from me.
gormster » neu 1 years ago
Thanks for the crotch update.
griggs_although » neu 1 years ago
...Boned?
wae » neu 1 years ago
It's hard to give a guy a chubby for telling you he's floppy.
nigelchaos » neu 11 months ago
Why not? He needs it. ...

I'm... so sorry.
droplede » neu 1 years ago
Philippe, the otherwise tongue-limber who can't blow gum bubbles are feelin' for ya. Keep at it, kid.
rolotonybrowntown » neu 1 years ago
a diatribe on the current administration?
stuart » neu 1 years ago
Panel 6 isn't going to help the people who have to point out that Phillipe is 5 and not retarded.
estutius » neu 1 years ago
It took me until age 8 to blow bubbles with gum. I feel Philippe's pain.
twoply » neu 1 years ago
I used to get headaches from tongue strain!
soticoto » neu 1 years ago
... I'm 23 and I still can't.

My mother wouldn't let me have gum. Ever. She figured if I did that I'd stick it on something or get it stuck somewhere.
I didn't actually even have gum of any sort until I was 14 and someone from the school I'd just moved to (before I'd had the chance to ostracise everyone) offered me some... and I was feeling rebellious.

To this day the best I've ever done is mix two packs of chewing gum with two packs of bubble gum... chew them up thoroughly... take it out of my mouth... stretch it OVER my lips and THEN blow it into a bubble.
andrew_ » pro 1 years ago
Phillipe's starting to get some emeril eyes in panel 8.
fishingblues » neu 1 years ago
That is a masterful drawing of a bubble gum bubble popping. I can taste thick, grape Bubble Yum in my mouth by just looking at it.
shenred » neu 1 years ago
Though, for some reason, in panel 3 it looks like a tomato to me.
tehloki » neu 1 years ago
Panel three makes Teodor's mouth look like that such as of a negro caricature
hollis » neu 1 years ago
I once chewed Bubble Yum so long it turned into liquid. True story.
foetus_punch » neu 1 years ago
I just retched, even though I know that's impossible. It just get's kneaded to the consistency of an extremely buff eraser!
tatterdemalion » neu 2 months ago
However, if you keep chewing it past eraser phase, it comes apart. True story.
zumicroom » pro 1 years ago
facial contortions of jim carrey proportions.
mattfish » neu 1 years ago
reporting consortions with portion distortion
umbra » pro 1 years ago
More shun the unapportioned blower's gum from Horsham while others score some in the tongue torsion quorum.
mattfish » pro 1 years ago
props for making it relevant, represent the 'elements
undersupervised » neu 1 years ago
the drawing of teodor's chewing mouth is awesome.
songbirdspectre » pro 1 years ago
five. oh god. i want to see more of these "life skills" strips involving philippe's failures.
katsura » neu 1 years ago
oh lord panel six is hell of disgusting
mcphercj » neu 1 years ago
I propose that this is the most onomatopoeia in an Achewood strip. Can you prove otherwise?
twotonturkey » pro 1 years ago
Perhaps in a strip with 11 panels, but I believe there are instances in the "Philippe Kidnapped" story arc where many of the strips took on an almost German expressionist cinema feel through their lack of dialogue, like this one perhaps http://achewood.com/index.php?date=11242003
shenred » neu 1 years ago
I'm not bothering to look it up, but I think some strips in the CH arc might best that, too.
henrythecad » neu 1 years ago
great strip
cousinted » neu 1 years ago
Teodor's really been getting in touch with his inner child lately.
satellitetv » pro 1 years ago
I've always just been happy whenever Philippe is in a strip, this one was so wonderful.
pohlhoud » pro 1 years ago
You know, this one made some bad memories return. Makes me remember those "rages" we all got when we were young and just weren't able to do that little thing we really wanted to do, no matter how hard we tried. I sure didn't end up hitting my head that hard, or hitting my head at all, but i do know what Philipe felt, even though he doesn't exists.
paperboy_2000 » pro 1 years ago
I once threw a frustration tantrum that forced my parents to leave a restaurant because I was unable to use a straw. I insisted on drinking with one, but as much as I tried I was only able to blow bubbles into my milk with it.

Of course, I don't remember any of this but my parents enjoy bringing it up.
jlynes » pro 1 years ago
I would cry if, while eating a sandwich, the contents would fall out the back onto the plate.
foetus_punch » neu 1 years ago
I once saw someone wink, and I tried, and I just blinked, and I kept trying until I started to cry and ran into the bathroom, pulled down my pants, locked the door, and wouldn't come out until I developed the proper muscle control. My Dad eventually picked the lock, and they found me, trou around my ankles, sobbing and blinking repeatedly in the bathtub. I also apparently had an atlas with me, although I don't remember that part.

Fuckin' loved atlases.
mattylite » neu 10 months ago
This is amazing.
stormagnet » pro 1 years ago
When I was Philippe's age, I spent three days straight in a sort of zen-like state of concentration, absolutely fucking determined to learn how to whistle like all those gutter urchins in the story books.
charchar » neu 1 years ago
I used to watch X-Men all the time growing up and God help me, i wanted telekinetic powers so badly i would just spend hours staring at salt shakers and empty sugar packets, whatever light things i could find.

Fucking Jean Grey.
charchar » neu 1 years ago
"Fucking" here is a present participle, not a verb.
lacrimus » neu 1 years ago
Look at his face in panel nine. It is rife with wicked sack.
rawk5tar » neu 1 years ago
What happened to Teodor's gum?
...you don't think... no...

That's gross, Teodor. Just get him a new piece for Pete's sake.
randombeing » neu 1 years ago
A great big bucket of FIVE POINT ZERO, I think.
jugglegod » pro 1 years ago
I love the return of Philippe's creepy mouth. Also, I don't think I've ever seen him look so determined as he does in panel 8.
charkie » pro 1 years ago
I bet Philippe wasn't even near a wall when he started that. He was just trying so goddamn hard that he flung into it from halfway across the room.
nicklon » neu 1 years ago
personally I think the result would have been much of the same with any given otter
crinklebat » pro 1 years ago
God, why is this SO FUCKING FUNNY.
vreeeee » pro 1 years ago
There are few things more disconcerting than Philippe's grimaces in trying times.
mobro_4000 » neu 1 years ago
You smacked your head on the door jamb, Phillipe. How come?
drskradley » neu 1 years ago
BAHAHAHA..... I love dark slapstick. Damn Onstad, you kill me when you do this.
chuvak » pro 1 years ago
ah groobah pfuh. noises to remember people
mrclarinet » neu 1 years ago
I had similar problems trying to blow bubbles as a kid
ging » pro 1 years ago
Guys does Nice Pete kill children?
jlynes » pro 1 years ago
Nice Pete does not kill.

Nice Pete simply hastens the inevitable ascent that all who live must one day undertake.
gumfish » pro 1 years ago
This is the box where the children will die
jlynes » pro 1 years ago
Oh we all gonna answer when the big bell rings
We all got to answer that bell
That big bell gonna come ringin'
And send all the children to Hell

[url=http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/one_strip?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D11112003\Nice Pete's Lullaby[/url]
jlynes » pro 1 years ago
Correction:


Nice Pete's Lullaby
overmedicated » neu 1 years ago
Not that he kills them, just that they die there.
wae » neu 1 years ago
Eventually everyone's shot clock expires and they go in The Van.
halofyre » neu 1 years ago
Really, it all depends on the disposition of the closest Chemus Witch.
aaron_haynes » pro 1 years ago
This was like a slow-burn crack up. I smiled, I chuckled, then gradually it dawned on me that this was the funniest fucking thing I'd seen in forever.
stephanopoulos » neu 1 years ago
This is truly the saddest thing.
dirtyantaeus » pro 1 years ago
Philippe's not that bad. Sure he can't blow a bubble, but he doesn't spit out his gum even once. So you know he won't accidentally spit his gum at someone's crotch while trying to blow a bubble.
loneal » neu 1 years ago
If only we could all say the same for ourselves.