Touch of Grey.

Touch of Grey. 02/28/2008 « prev 1st rand curr next »

The Dead -- exploring that fine line between psychedelic and repetitive.

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Displaying all 482 comments

probably my new favorite strip. that vomiting triplet is SUBLIME.

yeah, even as a man who digs the grateful dead I must give it up for that illustration.

i would rather get a vomiting triplet than a grateful dead cd,

now that i think about it a vomiting triplet would probably be the most ultimate gift ever.

Or Phish.

whoa, don't beef with free jazz.

the first two triplets are so happy, though. and then the third one had to rain on their parade by vomiting everywhere. or is it really a time lapse picture of the one note's devolution into projectile vomiting? i can't deide.

that sticker is the fast track to getting your car searched for weed every time you get pulled over. do not get that sticker

Spoilers ahead, scroll down to read:

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*
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I wasn't really going to get a dancing teddy bears sticker.

Despite myself I scrolled down to read.

Well played.

I know the matter's been defused already, but FYI: The police aren't allowed to perform a warrantless search without probable cause, and a sticker does not constitute probable cause.

Well, you be sure to tell that to the cop while he does whatever the fuck he wants to do because he's a cop.

And thats a chubby for you as i imagined it as you wrote it.

Exactly.

Did Lyle get contacts?

naw i think he was running on a treadmill or something (note the sweaty pits and "water bottle")

that's achewater brotha!

Oh crap man. This is the second time I have accidentaly lamed a comment, due to being wasted. I am sorry. There are circumstances that have led to me being this trashed, through necessity. I assure you.

your lame gave someone else the confidence to do the same. you've started an avalanche!

Are you trying to destroy the brain cells that contain memories of Grateful Dead songs?

I think those neurons were wrecked with pot smoke and LSD to begin with.

Gloriously so, it is a shame I have to sacrifice them in this way...

nah, he's sweaty and gross pretty often. i don't think that's exercise sweat, per se.

Lyle's just too drunk to be able to tell the difference between wearing his glasses and not wearing them. This is a condition that many nearsighted people, myself included, will be familiar with.

He doesn't always wear glasses, just when he cares about seein' things--like porn.

Dear Grandmother,

SORRY ABOUT THIS BLARGH

X's and O's
Grandson

P.S. Don%u2019t forget to take your Medicine! It's Necessary.

So you're saying you'd rather mail vomit to Assetbar than put up with this for one more second.

The angry Mr. Bear avatar really makes these.

Good show.

Does he have googly eyes on his ears, or what's the deal there?

Yes, Lyle glued them there while on an Achewater kick.

36 chubbies in two days, and well-deserved too. That is a damn fine modification right there.

Thank you, Doctor House. I will keep in mind that when it comes to auto-immune diseases it is very rarely lupus.

It is never lupus.

The Doctor has diagnosed Assetbar with herpes. Should we be worried? Perhaps we can get a second opinion from Dr. Skradley. I'd heard he's an OB-GYN in training.

The training isn't official.

And it's a doctorate in metaphysical meteorology, interestingly enough. I inherited it.

The only reason I have herpes is that I got it from your mom.

PS Bring Sven on, as you can see, I have a Big Knife.

Assetbar, I feel the need to tell you that you have become an urban legend. When a train crashes in the distance they will find a penny on the tracks and on that penny will be scrawled the name of Assetbar. When children look into shadows and feel something staring back, it is you staring back, Assetbar, for also shadows are one shadow to Assetbar and what happens in one happens in all. Where Assetbar stalks the corn dies and the sky is bruised and in the far distance towns know the thunder of his coming. When a women becomes heavy with child and feels the pangs of labor she must bury her first baby tooth in a pot of dirt and leave it by the window so that Assetbar will pass that house by and the child will be delivered safely and with no issue. It is Assetbar who slashed the ice cream's man tires. It is Assetbar who has seen the cold, chilly dawn. If you hear singing in the sewers in the midnight belly of the night, it is Assetbar, and his words are spoken with dead men's tongues.

It is Assetbar. Always Assetbar.

But, you know, no offense or anything.

OK, christ almighty. I know it's late and all, but really, why doesn't this have more chubbies? Come on!

PS that was me using jc's name in vain because I feel strongly about something, not because I really believe in anything.

I made a few typos. That's enough for more than a few lames. We gots out standards here, schmix.

You are an incredible writer. I always assume Assetbar posts are made within three-five minutes of their initial beginning, sometimes ten if they look really refined. This looks like some fifteen minute shit right here. This looks like effort. What we need more of is effort.

P.P.S. You are a toilet seat that smokes a cigar / forever that is what you are / a toilet seat that smokes a cigar. The End.

I actually think "Don%u2019t" goes perfectly with this strip

The Dead don't care about this. They would have been too busy harassing that lute. They cannot hear it protest, for they are too high.

Sometimes they are skeletons, which also impairs hearing.

I think that's a dulcimer.

No No, you were right it is a lute:

It's a mandolin, you damn fool.
Go on prove me wrong; tell me about fret ratio and medieval madrigals.

You will look silly.

I actually thought it was a laud:

That is actually a Child.

Yes but what is holding the Child

Must say I was a little confused with the avatars and thought you were replying to yourself for a second

I liked the exchange better that way. He was like a character from a Jim Henson film.

the child with the power

what power?

Bouzouki Power.

WILL YOU SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!?

Now you're playing with power.

the power of the voodoo

Who do?

you do

Do what?

Voodoo.

Remind me of the babe.

Oh, god. Most cringe-worthy Bowie performance ever ever ever, on this or any other possible world.

Two words: "Tin" and "Machine."

A million times YES.

Although let's be fair: not EVERY Tin Machine song is horrible. "I Can't Read," "Baby Universal," "Baby Can Dance," and "Bus Stop" are actually pretty good.

i was confused as well, until i changed my avatar and ruined everything.

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

JABBA JABBA

I search for bands who can perfect that meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk

Damn, just when I was gearing up for another cat cock strip

In an unexpected twist, it turns out that Pat and Rod were Teodor and Lyle all along!

In an alternate universe this was a Pat and Rod strip, with the exact same dialogue. There was cat cock in panels one and seven, with no explanation.

A true Achewood fan is ALWAYS gearing up for a cat cock strip.

Tomorrow's recipe: Chicken!

I guess I'm getting the rod, after all. If that was offensive to the Onstad-o-philes, you can relax, people. It was just a "stupid t-shirt" joke. On the other hand, maybe you took it as a stupid "t-shirt" joke. Fair enough.

I don't think anyone was offended. I think they just thought it wasn't funny.

I thought it was kinda funny, not really funny, but not lameable.

Oh well, better luck next time.

Thanks. It seems for many folks, when I'm not funny, I'm annoying. And I'm never funny.

I liked it. "Use a word that doesn't refer to a wang in a context where it does mean wang" type jokes always get me. I still have fond memories of the FFXI auto-translator.

<Incredibly Tough> <Rod> <in> <Pants> <Please help!>

But I like Friend of the Devil. :-(

Though it's true, the Grateful Dead is what happens when hundreds of people do acid. It isn't something we should support as a society.

Friend of the devil is a great song. It is the cocaine to touch of grey's marijuana in the grateful dead/gateway drug pantheon.

most songs off American Beauty are pretty fun.

Lyle types without glasses. He does not need them now. His rage is his focus.

To be honest, no oone needs to see a keyboard to type things so long as they know how to type. For instance, I typed this entire message with my eyes closed.

(Damn. Two 'o's on the one. But still! That's pretty decent!)

I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that your avatar is homestar and you are talking about a character typing with/without an accessory.

whoops, make that "homsar"

Whoa. For any HSR purists, that gaffe may not be forgivable. Myself? I would rather re-tool that sentence as Homsar would have actually said it:

"Lyle types without a melon-baller! He's donut-free now! AAAAaaaaAAAAaaaa! His mop handle sings Foriegner!

Man, if you're an HSR purist, it should be funny... Homsar only came into existence as a mistyping of Homestar. Mistyping Homsar as Homestar should thus kill him, once and for all. Requiescat in Pace.

Fair play to you, sir. Chubby.

Spot-on.

I dunno. Swapping in random nouns does not necessarily Homsar-ese make. What you have to do is take your ordinary sentences and rotate them ninety degrees along the sense axis. Like this:

"DuaaAAaaAAH! Flies in the sugar bowl, Monsignor! I've got the eye of the tiger! It's clovering time."

HA! Perfect.

However, swapping random nouns does in fact give you your mafia name. (Jimmy Phone Calls, anyone?)

Louie Melon-Baller. Tony Donut-Free. Frankie Mop Handle. Bobby Foreigner Songs. All fine and serviceable names.

The sound of eight confused men getting paid is somewhere between the sound of a parrot with a stroke speaking Russian and an elderly woman brushing her teeth into a megaphone.

Eight Confused Men (1957)

A dissenting juror in a murder trial slowly manages to convince the others that the case is not as obviously clear as it seemed in court.

The four remaining jurors think the dissenter is full of crock, and refuse to participate in the farce.

However, when a traveling diamond smuggler arrives in town, little do they realize that they will all become wrapped up in the wildest adventure of their lives, and learn a little about one another - and themselves - along the way. Nominated for four Academy Awards, winner of two.

"Gregory Peck, in a career making role ... presents a tour de force guaranteed not to disappoint!" - Life Magazine

It is rumored that Andre Bazin's essay on continuity editing in Eight Confused Men (published in the March 1958 Cahiers Du Cinema) inspired the jump cuts in Godard's A Bout de Souffle.