I am sje, you insensitive moron

I stopped saying that a long while ago, when I started perceiving it was more lame than I thought.

I still post on xkcd-fora like a mad man.

Uhhhhh...what?
First off, this is a bit of a non sequitur, ern't it?
Secondly, there are many, many places on the internet where you can spend the entire afternoon arguing in anonymity. These places include IRC chats, forums, message boards, and image boards like 4chan. And, of course, Assetbar, easily.

Threesly, you imply that Assetbarians can't spell or use grammar? This is...very inaccurate. Just look up and down the board. There are very talented writers here! Unfortunately I'm not one of them.

So, yeah...don't spam our Assetbar, please.

I'm not entirely convinced that that's her.

Me neither, but it was still a lame comment.

I think they assumed assetbar would pretty much be the British Mandate in 1947 and it's denizens would be the insignificant palestinians who'd make way for them.

Tenuous metaphor relating to the foundation of israel?
check.

And I'm thinking of the best place for jay-ell dee to stick her 144 tiny cans of Doctor Pepper...
Logged
I'm Troy Convers, from Assetbar, the official Achewood message board, and I approved this message.
Thangew.

I am AIU, not jay-ell.

Anyway, upon looking at the thread on touamb that ensued following jay-ell's above-copied-post, all I can say is, holy shit, there are some assholes on touamb. Setting aside whatever prejudice and animosity these people may have towards other groups such as assetbar, and there is some of that, these people are just plain outright dicks to each other. I don't feel the least bit insulted anymore about how they treated me. I realize now it's nothing personal, they are just dicks -- not all of them, but a good portion of them.

link the the above-referenced thread on touamb is here

Okay, thanks.

Yeah, of what I've seen, they are dicks, and that's all can be said, really. I guess they are more threatened by the more popular, more official board than we are by the quiet more private board. But it really doesn't make a difference, since we don't really have to deal with them. No need to declare war with Canada.

you care about this.

Passingly.

Bobby Isosceles seems like a reasonable fellow. Wonder if he's also a 'barbarian.

shit I didn't expect to exacerbate any conflict between touamb and assetbar to this extent if at all, but I guess sometimes the best trolling is on accident. I'll take what I can get.

I will say that there is this phenomenon whereby many if not most people (myself included) seem to acquire a tunnel vision and invest our writing with far more strength and narcissism than if were speaking with our audience, and likewise we interpret the written word of others as much stronger in meaning than if we were listening to the same person speak instead these words. I'm sure that if the various parties with various negative ideas about each other were to hang out in person, they would probably get along just fine, although, who knows, maybe some of us have been dicks on the internet for so long that it's warped our personae to where we would even be dicks to each other in person.

You didn't expect to exacerbate any conflict? BULLSHIT. That's precisely why you re-posted what JLD wrote.

I suspected parties concerned might make a cluster fuck out of it, perhaps a part of me even hoped... But I didn't think it so likely that it should be expected. :-P

...or a DOS attack...
just sowing seeds...

Dogs On Skateboards? ...could we really do that??

I was actually thinking of chucking some old 1970s IBM PCs at them.
Ahh fuckit, let's just hack their site...

Nah man. Dogs On Skateboards. Let's make this happen.

lets find where they live and cut them up into little pieces and feed them to dogs on skateboards

"What's that?
Dogs... and they're on skateboards you say jay-ell? And they're playing baseball with your tiny Dr. Pepper cans?"
clicks phone down
#GLOWERS#
"ASSETBAR HOUSE!!!"

Yeah. I was envisaging dogs on skateboards just ruining touamb through shenanigans and generally being eager as the dickens. NOT murder etc.

traitor
http://touamb.com/index.php?action=profile;u=1253
Last Active: Today at 06:15:27 PM
unless this guy has an explanation like he is finding their home addresses for us I'm not sure I trust him he's a double agent maybe

My touamb username is different from my assetbar username. I have subtracted hell of tiny cans from you AIU.

Insert Gary Rentiel Animated GIF Here

I created that when I thought Assetbar was dead. I find it's always handy when I need help falling asleep.

Ans for some reason the link's been broken to my bulldog pic.
Rackum frackum.

[IMGS OFF]

I see it just fine.

Glad to see you're back to form Glad. As enigmatic as ever buttmunch...

lamed u again. i can do dis all day, bitch dont fuck wit me

Assetbar is the shit and fuck your website i just went on there to see how it's doing and oh guess what it's doing shitty. your websit sucks and it's unofficial this is the only official achewood webring and you have to get on out ya sucker!

Yeah, ya big dummy! You blew it!

Ha ha! What an IDIOT!

I get the feeling 'tuoambers' feel like their forum is the negelcted older brother the the younger Assetbar sibling. Seems to be a lot of resentment. Hey, don't feel bad guys come and join the real party instead of that book reading you've got going on over at the 'tomb'.
Either that, or we're Delta House to their Omega House...

Its almost worrying how much I've taken to heart their implication that the level of discourse here on the 'Bar is somehow lower than theirs. What, just 'cause you're on a standard BBS-style messageboard where one can make a 2000-word post and not look like a tool? You show me one tangential anecdote written by someone with a greater degree of talent than Spinynorman, or a piece of Photoshopped Buggery which comes close to somethig that Edwell would spend a sunny afternoon throwing together, and maybe I'll take that kind of shit from you.

I am so angry. Some kind of duel is warranted, here. I am taking the internet glove to whatever face over there would bring forth the loudest cries of "I say!"

I like to have sex with dead monkeys

Oh.

What do you expect from people who tolerate objectivists?

And show me one of sje46's legendary, sexy, sexy posts.

sje46 » neu 3 days ago
That makes me feel bad. It's been months since I last gave my puppy a blow job. I'm not even sure he's a puppy any more =/
reply :: Comment rated 0 Chubbies and 0 Lames (marked as spam 0 times)
Rate this Comment: Chubby Lame Mark as Spam *Ignore User*

True dat. this only started when we thought Assetbar was moribund. Most of us would never have been aware of the other's existance if this hadn't been the case.

Anyone like a chocolate from Pandora's box anyone?

...or indeed, the human race as a whole.

Aaaaand that's the fun comprehensively sucked out of that topic then.

I like Arial, most instructors accept it for assignments and it's bigger than Times New Roman, which means I have to type less. Arial, 14 pt, 2.1 line spacing ftw.

Arial's hecka gay. No style, no class.

id help out but i m not a tech guy at ALL so id fuck it up lol but das some good work wit all teh info u got

We all appreciate it though, glad.

You're not using my fora.

That's reserved for making sexual photoshops of nice-on-water.

{: 0

Finally, somewhere to put all my lames!

AIU=Nice Pete?

No, Nice Pete is a gentleman.

Kinda...

they have a similar attention to detail involved in their many murders, though.

Perhaps we can get AIU some etiquette courses.

people will rate strips with nice pete highly, but when I use the same humor, I get mostly lames. I hate people. they should all die.

they will. now Calm Down.

don't get me wrong I am calm. I'm nice pete calm. :)

even folks sitting on couches passing a 'j' revel in the dogma security blanket of concepts like 'God.' Free your mind, maybe then I'll take you seriously.

Quote:
Don't talk to him like he's real.

God or the mouthwash?

Take your pick.

BURRRRRRRN

I've got no beef with toumb, but I do think it is sort of funny that the most conversation they've had in years comes from threads about Assetbar.

Also, feeling so cheesed about the creator of a webcomic deciding not to have a message board after awhile--and then changing his mind--is a little weird. For example, x-entertainment (a website) used to have a message board, years and years ago. It was closed, 'too much effort'. No one cried and hated it when the comment section of his blog became a sort of electronic conveyance means. So, I don't know...If Assetbar closed, which could happen, I'd just post somewhere else (hopefully where some of you people were) and """""get over it""""".

Especially years later. You wouldn't catch me, suede patches on my keyboard, typing up some manic screed about how betrayed you felt by the guy with the cat cock comic.

Man I was totally behind you before you started kissing spinynorman's ass.

I agree however with the general sentiment though, more power to the Assetbario!

Hey! A rattlesnake bit him, and I had to suck the poison out! It was the only way!

Killed her by blowjob?

I was about to say "why does the timing of your statement matter, surely if what you say is valid/ doesn't suck cock then it is appropriate at any time" but I stopped myself and thought of scenarios where this clearly isn't the case.

Timing is everything, friend, and I apologise for my initial reaction.

I hope you will derive some satisfaction from having made this young Turk think deep thoughts about the world.

like how its one thing for a football team 2 run a train on a woman but changes alot if the woman is ur girlfriend at the time

Yeah, exactly.

women are people too!

yup

Sorry Glad it was a basketball bassball team.

you can do better than this

you fucking spanish american

do NOT get racial. dis aint abot dat

Do I have to post the picture of the goldfish with a basketball again? Or is that saying "brisketball"?

how many times are you gonna dump that turd on assetbar?
lamed.

mr scorpion

Chubby.

That's just silly. It is impossible for five men to play golf with one ball. Your joke makes no sense at all. Also, not all golfers are white, there's Tiger Woods and......... I'm pretty sure there's gotta be somebody else, I just can't think of them at the moment.

How do you stop gladi8orrex from raping a white woman?

Trick question. No white woman would turn down sex with gladi8orrex.

Vijay Singh.

Michael Campbell

(he is Maori)

like hows joke abot blacks get lamed while white joke gets chuppied. fink abot dat 1 4 a lil bit

damn racialists!

You wretch, not only is the joke shite, you fucked up the delivery.
Losing your touch Gladys. Lame-o-rama.

dont need another fuckin critic thx try keepin' ur shit opinions 2 urself cuz i dont give a FUCK

why would you go to the effort to embold the word "fuck" if you didn't care lmbo

fuck u

You slag me off but not scorpio_nadir for a similar comment.
Fuck you hypocrite.
And anyway Ethel, if you don't want shit opinions don't post shit jokes, ya one-trick pony.

u obv got issues an is and unreasonable ass-wit. so consider dis teh last ima waste on u. gonna take obama high road an end dis

Don't you go correcting him to drag me into your pissing match.


PIE FIGHT!

PIE FIGHT!

That makes me feel bad. It's been months since I last gave my puppy a blow job. I'm not even sure he's a puppy any more =/

I guess not, huh.

my last girlfriend was a total dog

the dog would totally get jealous...

Hmm, clawmarks on your dick. Niiice. Not.

my dick so hard a cat couldn't scratch it

In my experience, animals have a sixth sense for naked humans about to get rutty and find ways to make it as awkward as possible.

Pheronomes?

No they're hormones that smell the same to dyslexics and the dyslexia challenged.

you should probably pay more attention to your dog so he/she doesn't feel jealous

i keep reading this and trying not to laugh. IT NEVER WORKS! I LAUGH EVERY TIME!

Maybe he's got a big head now that he has a girlfriend.

Well you know what they say: it's better to be pissed-off ...

Here, let's get a Post-it and a calligraphy pen. This is way too cute not to mock up.

Man, I never knew I'd come on AB and see Achewood Furry Watersports Porn.

It's more likely than you think.

Cum cum, shoo-oot shoot.

maybe he gets big head now he's got a girlfriend.

especially since she's a stripper and all

cause you KNOW strippers know how to work that pole

Hey I raead in the paper today you had a terrible accident involving a motorboat propeller. Sorry to hear that Lord Lucan.

shhhh - you ain't seen me. right?

He ain't Lord Lucan, he's just some beatnik called barry chilling in the indian subcontinent...

Chubs for mephitic.

Is there a polite way to ask why someone is huffing piss?

Next thing you know, Teodor will be driving a rocket-powered Trans Am to Nippopolis.

that's just super, man

I don't feel uber.

It's okay, he doesn't feel that good.

I chubby puguglypress for not being daidai.

I chubby him for not being Daidai's father!

Well excUuuUUse me!


that was...a difficult arrested development to verbalize...textualize? type.

Guess who forgot to type "reference" in their last post?


Hint: It was me.

The pressure of being a first post was just incredible, and now everybody wants a piece of me. I thought fame would heal the hole inside of me, but it's just made me feel more alone!

There is a Facebook frist pots support group for that.

Excuse me, sir, but do you specialize in medical frist pots? You see, I have a chronic condition that necessitates the use of daily Frist Pot.

Frist Pots: Apply directly to the forehead.

[IMGS OFF]

Frits Pots, German surrealist-

[IMGS OFF]

Who is apparently too young to realize the reference was to Steve Martin?

Hint: It was daidai.

it was a really good job though

Cornelius is doing a pretty good Frasier impersonation.

Teodor is facinated by Todd's magical pee.

And the pee's in the manneken.

And the green grass?

It grows all around and around.

The golden icing flowing down.

There were houses, there were hoses
There were sprinklers on the lawn
There was an ironing board
And she would stand and make her understand him
And ask the children what they'd done at school that day
And the yard went on forever...

But what does this have to do with sexy urine?

sprinklers?

I'll take that wazza. Actually it is more a reference to MacArthur Park, as this is also a Jimmy Webb song performed by Sir Richard Harris. I have to admit I have a huge place in my heart for the songs of Jimmy Webb, even MacArthur Park and The Yard Went on Forever.

"When you comin' home ?"
"Son, I don't know when...

I always thought the lyric went:
"When you comin' home son?"
"I don't know when."
Poignant either way.

I imagine the lyrics appear both ways, because the story starts about the father being away all the time, then the son grows up, up, and away, so the father starts asking.

but when it changes to the son being away, it's "Dad, I don't know when"

My parents' taste in music has left me with psychological scars, disguised as knowledge of trivia.

I think that song has left everyone with scars. I think if you live anywhere in the United States you can not escape the emotional scarring caused by that song.

Just like the golden amulet of King Chochacho, Cornelius just does not buy ANY of the shit these guys try and pawn off on him.

Cornelius Bear: Making conservative pragmatism cool since 1978 or whenever he took it up I guess.

he has presumably already seen a dachshund taking a magical journey through Stalin's Russia in a puddle of her own menses.

Oh shit, cygnusx-1 - I couldn't see it the first time I scrolled through and I'm still not a hundred percent on this but please tell me that your avatar is a Chinese black magic ray-emitting Lo Pan. Please tell me that.

I will concur that that looks like Lo Pan, even though you did not include me in the list of people you would like to migrate to a desert island with.

- "Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!"

That was off the top of my head, holmes. Plus totally pointless.

"Play your cards right, you live to talk about it."

It is indeed Lo Pan blasting someone's entire being off.

You left out the part where he knocked up your mother after getting her blotto on Bartles & Jaymes.

Quote:

Ah, the 80's. I recall hanging out with my friends and sharing BJs. (We also shared wine coolers.)

Man... I miss the 80s, when the cops blew you.

[Insert binary joke from bash.org here]

dzzzt

But you're missing the final three ways!

Dohohohoho.

Wanting no part of someones "slanted mirror hokum and jive" is getting used s-s-so frikkin' hard today.

Cornelius is quite the dick. Complaining about a nasty smell while simultaneously igniting an evil little no-doubt acrid black cheroot. What a dick. Yeah you heard me, HE'S A DICK.

Connie strikes me as a Dunhill kind of man.

you don't knowthat he's obviously being a gentelman who puts on a cigarette to discreetly cover a nasty smell like pee?! geez i thought that was obvious.

i mean no offense, btu i thought so.

Hah yes, you could be right. Also, I feel a bit bad calling C a capital letters dick.

Teodor looks like he's doing pennance before the state of montana.

It's nigh impossible to shape a puddle of urine into such a near approximation of a square, particularly with a stick. Teodor's urine shaping skills are the really remarkable thing about this whole arc.

it's either that teodor's some kind of piss sculpting prodigy, or that the highly toxic content of todd's urine gives it a consistency sort of like cake icing, making it easily spreadable.

I used to dehydrate as a kid. One time it got so bad my piss came out like snot. I'm not kidding, it was all thick and gooey.

that wasn't urine.

...THAT'S MY WIFE!

That happens to me when I clean my penis.

When I read the first sentence, I really thought a Groucho-esque punchline was coming.

...and instead you got Kevin Spacey's head juxtaposed over Groucho's when you read the second sentence, like taking a bite of vanilla ice cream and tasting mashed potatoes. jeffspaulding is all kinds of cruel.

You work in television props freewilliam??

No, but that would be an interesting gig, all making five copies of the same poker visor for Brent Spiner just in case four of them fail when Data's big scene with Stephen Hawking comes up, only to find out later that one of them sold at auction for $6000 after the fact and it wasn't even the one that got filmed.

What IS the equation of the week?

"It's this pee."

I spit on your shit.

And I sat 'pon your shat.

I Piss on your spit!

Now We're friends again!

Hey!

The sequels are never as good as the original.

and you may ask yourself, my god what have I done?

...What?

And you may find yourself sitting in the garage staring into a puddle of squirrel piss.

And you may will ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

All questions should be directed to C Onstad, c/o www.achewood.com.

Reply:

This is not my beautiful wife.

How do I work this?

Where does this henweigh go to?

MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Why the fuck do I have to be the one living in the shotgun shack?

*Sigh*

Same as it ever was...

I want to get in on this...but at the same time...it's all out of order, people are repeating each other, some are directly quoting, others are putting a Spin on it. I just ::sigh:: I just don't know man.

I just realized that all of these conversations would be so horribly obnoxious in real life, like we're a bunch of foul nerds who go to Ihop at one in the morning and just make references constantly. All the other tables full of chollos and truckers, glaring at us cuz they can't enjoy their meal when we're like "DUDE! Same as it ever was!" "Yeah dude, it's like squirrel piss!"

Except there's like 50 regulars and I'm pretty sure most assetbarbarians are over the age of 30 (with notable exceptions and exceptional notables).

Also this style of banter was never meant for real life anyway.

In real life, I stutter worse than Todd. So I don't go to the IHOP.

more of a Friendly's guy huh?

Oh God I just know Cartilage Head is gonna show up again

I haven't played Urinal Trail since the 6th grade.

It's all I did during computer class.

Actually I was scared of the boy's bathroom.

Don't be ashamed. There are few scarier prospects than being alone in a room full of plumbing dating from the Eisenhower administration.

Well the odds are statistically 99.9993% that he's right using a sample pool of all piss-related practical jokes that also includes this piss-oracle that can be considered actual.

Yes. Don't not like urine.

Connie's a PRICK!

It's almost too bad that T can read, because he's missing out on the sight of Kim Jong-Il's ecstatic face while peeling out in the van.

If I had a dime for every time some dude tried to trick me into reading a text adventure from an alternate universe is a puddle of urine from a drug addled squirrel...

I would probably be as rich as I am from the dimes I receive each time I make a typo on Assetbar.

We haven't heard from Kim Jong Il lately...

Kim Jong Il does not report to you, he is not your monkey.

In communist North Korea, Kim Jong Il kidnaps YOU.

Did anybody else get the Hermann Hesse reference. Achewood, the only comic on the web for German literature references.

We've all seen how poorly a nation founded upon a bird of prey devouring a serpent worked out. As such, I can hardly imagine what one whose cornerstone is a tiny van and a giant sprig of hemlock will lead to.

Well, their currency flows will be based on sucking dick, so it'll be good for someone.

Hey, it works for Norway.

Man, that floor really tied the room together...

I'm taking votes on what is the worst aspect of this post. The abuse of caps lock, or the truly uncomfortable mixed metaphor at the end.

Cring-inducing mixed metaphor trumps cap-lock abuse like a stitch saving nine trumps a penny spent.

The answer is simple: In keeping with the spirit of The Dude's laziness, I was too lazy to exert the 3/200ths of a calorie that it takes to work the mouse and go back three strips to post said comment.

Now as for the effort it took to write all this, I yield.

esprit d'escalier

'e spit in d'eclair

Yeah, well... that's just like, your opinion, man.

Hah plebs is pretty high esteem for the assetbar-ians.We're basically the sort of people that lepers would take pity on and throw grime encrusted ha'pennies at.

We're basically "the undeserving poor" to quote celebrated-Nobel-prize-winning-douchebag George Bernard Shaw.

I would like to thing that ha'pennies are actually pennies with Lincoln's mouth & eyes wide open and a speech bubble all "HA!" with the value of a full penny.

Cornelius shouldn't be surprised. Teodor used to play "Urine cop" after all.

Officer Lockstock?

(Hah! A reference maybe 3% of you will get!)

Urinetown the musical?

Google makes 100% of us that 3%.

I think I understand the origin of the puddle, but...

Where did the rope go?

It's not in the garage. It's not in the van. It's not in Korea. Where did it go?

Ask Glorious Ranger.

[Hint]
[IMGS OFF]

The rope, the Barn-in-Package, and a portion of Todd's urine converted into the energy needed to create the text adventure universe we are now peering into. We're talking quantum physics here.

Anyone want some Tang?

Wu?

Poon?

Early or Late dynasty?

Is he still reading through the piss, or is there some kind of sheet on it now?

I was wondering that too! I'm all like, "what?"

It looks like he put cellophane across it, or a broken sheet of glass. It's so unnaturally rectangular.

YES ACHEWOOD WELCOME BACK!

maaaan it came back last strip you are so EMBARASSINGLY behind the times

YES COME ON BACK ACHEWOOD!!!

You want Achewood to come on your back?

Because I can make that happen.

ah so this is where the comment section went

Cornelius seems a little testy lately. I wonder if he realised that he and Polly had different expectations for their relationship.

Oh, BANG!

Mom. Car of pain. Say it!

Teodor's always been a little teste.

I just realized that I hastily pee-shopped' that.

Pee font is just begging to be released.

A font of pee.

Or:
Narpissus, what news from the puddle?


Sorry. Sorry, all.

no dice

EVERYONE, ASSETBAR IS BACK
LET'S GO HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM OF ASSETBAR

why the bathroom? thats lame. why not right here in the living room?

the dog would totally get jealous...

not if you have a ladydog and dudedog...

then they'd just laugh at your junk

dogs cant laugh...... can they?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughter_in_animals

only at knock-knock jokes, they aint very sophistocated animals.

Neither are you very sophisticated, Comrade_tom.

Bark!

Whoops, a spelling error on the internet! My bad.

Apologies for momentarily jeopardising the intellectual integrity of the medium.

knock-knock

Who's there?

Heather Mills

Heather Mills who?

Heather mills jute and fashions it into a coarse cloth.

I'd be down with the simple punchline "Heather Mills who?"

Father Tinkin

I was barked at by a dude in a motor vehicle when I was drunk last Friday. I then had an involved discussion with the gentlemen I was with whether this meant I am a dog. They said no, it indicated that I was sexually appealing. I then went on to intimate that the gentleman in question was attracted to me because we both wore glasses. This conversation, in retrospect, is faintly amusing to me.

You really should get out more TJ.

TG

No, because getting out more either means standing in the corner until some creepy old dude chases me or feeling inadequate when I see the other girls and the attention they get.

it can be a circular thing; when you feel inadequate then people get this inadequate feeling vibe from you and then they kinda don't pay as much attention to you.

Remember, in the interspace, you can't hear a dog barking, only jackals.

Besides which, doesn't it feel good to give a creepy old dude a momentary buzz?

i have a dog his name is butters

He has two ears, upon his hutters.

Hey, we can internet-date, if you want! You'd get attention, and only deal with one creepy dude, who isn't even old!

come on sje46 you're not being fully honest you aren't old but you sure are creepy in bed

he's creepy out of bed

he's creepy across the landing and
he's creepy down the stairs.

Creeping up the backstairs
Mother's nightmares
Falling in the front door
My my.

Aw hell no, Don't be pickin' up insecure girls on internet chatrooms sje46. You know thats just going to end in a world o' misery when you try and introduce some japanese manga based roleplay into the (motel equidistant from both your cities) bedroom, and she gets all uppity and you're all "HEY I TOOK YOU TO SEE THE NEW TWILIGHT FILM, ATTENTION MUST BE PAID"

I already have enough people trying to pick me up and messin' with my head as it is. The only reason to take a girl to see Twilight is so that she can secretly harbor illegal lustful thoughts about that kid that plays the Native American werewolf.

intriguing... illegal in what way?

Lust is illegal. No wait, that's murder.

I believe he is still in high school and underage.

the actor is probably in his mid-20s...

a propos maybe your experience would allow you to give advice about the best way to get inside a girl's panties without too much effort?

well I should specify, I'm looking for the optimal effort/success-rate ratio.

I couldn't tell you. Someone might get sloppy naked makeouts if he seems nice and we've talked for a while and he isn't pushy about it. That's all I can say.

Shit out of luck there AIU.

okay that sounds pretty good but how do I take it to the next level past sloppy naked makeouts to where we play legos naked and the giant smelly 'pussy monster' attacks the legos town?

That's some pretty horrifying imagery there, brother.

legos are hell of sharp edged

completely. you wouldnt think that it would hurt to step on one...

sje, darlin', you already asked me to be your internet girlfriend like a year ago. You just don't recognize me 'cause I'm a kitten now. I need a boyfriend whose bits I can touch.

I'll mail them in the post if that helps.

If you live in Leomister, Massachussetts, I'm going to be very pissed.

With love,
sje46

who you kidding you gonna be pissed anyway

I actually come from Massachusetts, but my main place is thousands of miles away, and I'm going to be home very seldom now. Perhaps you should talk to more girls who are, like, real? Like, ones you actually see?

Real girls are a myth.

On a completely unrelated note I also happen to be thousands of miles from Massachusetts. Clearly this is too much of a coincidence. If I stand out side your window and loudly demand that you come out and french me would this be well recieved?

Heheh "real girls", man 94% of "women" on the internet are DEFINITELY men with ponytails,poorly kept beards heavy metal t-shirts, a replica sword on the wall and strong opinions with regards to what a Grue is.

I dunno, gobs, you know you're my homegirl, but I disagree with you here. I'm as much a real girl conversing with other real people here as if we were all in the same room, or same city, or same state, or same country. This is all the same room, and honest people are just as real here as they would be face to face. I don't see much distinction between "in real life" and "online". Maybe that's because I'm the same person in real life as I am online. No masks, no fronts, no facades, no lies, no fallacies. And especially once a relationship between two people that was held exclusively online turns into a phone call, say, or a quick check-in via Facebook to say "hi", that's a real person and a real relationship, to me. I call greenkoolayd my friend, not my internet friend. Even if he and I never meet face to face, he's as much a part of my life and as much of a friend of mine as the friend who's sitting five feet from me right now and coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow night.

or is that just me?