Ray signs Mister Band

Ray signs Mister Band 12/13/2006 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Ray doesnâ��t need a physical demo. Heâ��ll sign a damn phone call. He is raw.

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Nah, Rob Zombie would sing about necrophilia and midget fights. This is more like Coheed & Cambria or Valient Thorr or summats.

I can't help but picture 3 Inches of Blood when I think of who would really write this.

Kill the orcs!
Slay the orcs!
Destroy the orcs!

I am eternal, I walk the night, I am the reaper of souls!

All singing with that Cobra Commander voice

cobra commander vocals, or cookie monster vocals?

I apparently got drunk with them and one of them hugged me but I was like oh that band ok guys thanks for the beer

I imagine Lyle's bass playing to be "Reptilia" by the Strokes.

I think he was trying to insult Rob Z.

I think it sounds more like the lyrical stylings of Ronnie James Dio.

I imagine Nice Pete sounding like Rob Halford.

I can hear the tune so well in my head, its bizzare

EXTEREEEEEEEME Power Metal

Progressive Dragon Metal. Duh?

That's Dolemite, baby!

...actually, seems to be a type of carbon steel:

[i]The hardest known metal alloy, and the hardest known metal in general, is a type of carbon steel, Alloy 1090. With a tensile strength of .84 GPa (122,000 psi) and a yield strength of .64 GPa (67,000 psi), carbon steel is surpassed in hardness only by very hard nonmetals, such as ruby, diamond, or aggregated diamond nanorods. [\i]

from

Whatever the opposite of black metal is.

White...cotton?

Dragonforce are the musical equivalent of underwear, you're saying.

Totally rad underwear perhaps.

fruuuuuuuuuit of the looooooom!

sing that line as "run to the hills"

"fruuuuuuuuuit for your liiiiii-y-iiiiiife~~"

There are indeed those who consider them to be pants.

That is the best description of Dragonforce I have ever heard.

Fantasy Metal (yes.)

When I think "heavy metal," what I mostly think of could basically be described as "sci-fi/fantasy metal." I think it is kind of generally a Thing of heavy metal.

melodic/symphonic fantasy metal

Something along the lines of 'System of a Pheonix Down'?

chubby for mixing 2 things i like and creating a beautifull monster.

Chubbied for the same reason given by wolfensti

I'm thinking more like a little Charlie Daniels, a little James Hetfield.

These are definitely my favourite of Mr. Band's lyrics. You can hear the music right in your brain.

Every time I imagine it it turns into Cowboys from Hell 2 verses in.

Man I know how that can be.

I can totally hear this crap in my head

monster magnet is exactly like this. Their music is so good and draws from so many different genres that nobody can tell if their lyrics are a joke or not ("It's time you sucked the cock of a fire god")

I was talking to Jesus through a hole in the floor: he said 'pack up your shit, we can't stay anymore, no more.'

Monster Magnet is indeed the shit.

Chubby for you nikopol, that's one of my favourite MM lyrics. :D

Dragonforce is power metal. Real Black Metal is scary shit.

last I checked I didn't find music too particulairly petrifying

Look Up Mayhem or Emperor on Wikipedia. Norwegian black metal is seriously messed up. All hell of church burnings, stabbings and eating each other.

You haven't heard Enemite.

Real Black Metal better not be that low production crap that those bastards always say is 'proper' black metal because it's 'raw'. IT'S JUST TO COVER UP THE FACT YOU CAN'T PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENTS YOU SLACK-JAWED JUNKSLUT. Someone give me a job at Ruthless Reviews.

First Penny-Arcade reference I've seen on the Achewood boards. I am with you sir.

I also caught that one. John Gabriel has colorful language that is unmistakable to the experienced.

You mean Tycho Brahe (aka Jerry Holkins), yes? He's the writer. Gabriel (aka Mike Krahulik) is the artist.

technically yes, but the slack-jawed junkslut line was from a comic and it was gabes line. so gabe said it even though gabe didnt say it.

Actually it was Tycho's line ("X...means ten, you slack-jawed junkslut!") although in an odd turn of events, Gabe was actually correct in the argument.

oh damn, youre totally right.

Any bassists around here? I'd LOVE to hear an *.mp3 of this sound

I tried but it's physically impossible to play this without falling asleep.

Speaking as a bassist, you don't have to be a bassist to play that. You just need fingers.

it basically sounds like:

JAJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUGJUG

Do you play it with Great Madness in your heart?

And some arms.

Maiden, folks. Case closed.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good (in my head).
The first band that came to mind was Grave Digger.

Blind Guardian = elf metal

Somehow, I don't really think of wizards as the type of folk to spring about.

Man, that's a good Folk Metal band in the making if you ask me.

Well, Ray knows more about Satanic folk-rock than most people, what with his "possessed banjo" adventure. I can see why he'd sign them.

the only thing i can hear when Mister Band is playing isSpirit Anniversary Journey Formation

Exactly! That was the background music playing in my head when I was reading this strip.

Y-your avatar is insane.

I personally wouldn't class this as Black Metal. There's too much bass. Black Metal shits me purely due to the lack of bass in it - oh, I recognise that there's a bass guitar in it, but everything's so damned high pitched. Plus, I see Nice Pete as just growling the lyrics out - more Death or grindcore style.

Good band to look up, The County Medical Examiners. Think Carcass, all talking about medical stuff about death, but by actual doctors. Songs like "Algor Mortis: The Linear Rate of Cadaveric Cooling", and "Y-Shaped Thoracoabdominal Incision" and "Expeditious Evisceratory Mishap." Their current CD has a scratch-n-sniff CD face, kindly donated to them by John Doe #4502.
[IMGS OFF]
That, my friends, is a goregrind band.

Just to clear that up, I'm not on the band's payroll or anything. I just find the band's idea quite hilarious.

Have you ever seen a Y-shaped thoracoabdominal incision? Because I have. And that shit is fucking raw.

You think I'm joking but I'm not even close to joking, man.

Damn. So I just looked that up. It was hard to find pictures, but...
Well, being curious and being squeamish with medical-related stuff does not go well together.

Reminds me of Iron Lung, a grind/powerviolence band who, though not actual doctors, do pull all their lyrics from medical journals and texts, usually about polio and the manners in which people tried to cure it. Example lyric:
Strict protocol must be upheld. Needle punctures heavy plastic surgical glove. Punctures flesh, enters bloodstream. No time to sterilize.

Holy hell that is just about the most metal thing I have ever heard.

Like anyone can understand the lyrics in most metal thrashes anyway.

in most cases, if one listens, one can differentiate words, etc..

i wish i could give you a super-pro, anyway, i was waiting for someone to mention iron lung. i effing love that band, i've seen them twice in buffalo and the ROCKED THAT PLACE!
(paraphrasing, i seem to have misplaced my lyrics booklet) barrel chest, from emphysema, mechanical mandible, crushed back, to shape, function, form
[all sung by two people over twitchy/technical drums and guitar]ahem... sorry, just really like them

dude! so glad to see a fellow fan on here. I'm a super-huge fanboy...i've bought everything they put out, own 3 iron lung shirts (plus the surgical mask), and i get all nervous when i see them around town.

Their shit is probably the most consistent powerviolence that could ever happen. totally next-level shit. i've been thinking about getting their "life. iron lung. death." album art as a tattoo...

Take home lesson: Ray is raw.

This song is the subject of an intense bidding war between Guitar Hero IV and Rock Band II.

Blind Guardian anyone?

I'm sorry, but the last two stanzas of Pete's song are completely awesome.

How many basses does Lyle have? He had a different one when he played with Animalicious.

What you are all missing is the wonderful fact that in Pete's mind, this does not fall into any genre. With most bands who make this same claim, you can bet that they sound like Matchbox 20 or some crap like that. But Pete just naturally produces metal without even knowing what it is.

Today's Blogs

Philippe: Hubloo-ah! It's Kah-RISS-mas!

"play a good song like a man would play at a concert"

for someone like Pete who only enjoys music occasionally, this is the perfect thing to say

[IMGS OFF]
Testing assetbarrrr

Yeah, I see it. Thanks. That is exactly the picture I didn't really expect to see.

In the 5th panel, Lyle is already regretting going along with this.

Nice old Rick'.

How about the The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins for Lord of the Rings enthusiasts?

[code]<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XFR-8NVjw-k&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XFR-8NVjw-k&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>[/code]

Ah well, I gave it a try.

http://www.youtube.com/v/XFR-8NVjw-k&hl=en

<- Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits.

band:frodo and the fellowship
song:freestylin frodo
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dm74_EdaERQ
friends of mine.

Okay, okay. A link to the Nimoy song (The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins) on my blip.fm account:

http://bit.ly/sTVTN

I can... HEAR them...

Nice Pete doesn't send a physical demo. He sings into the phone. He is raw.

Sounds like Rhapsody

Nice Pete can scream straight notes, if I'm not wrong. This is more like his best impression of a young really drunk Hetfield, or a pre Cowboys Anselmo.
I fucking dig it! I'm really into Mister Band! Lyle brings the bass pain, and Pete is a hell of a frontman.

phil anselmo is a shitty vocalist.

What??!?? He was great til the heroin made him ungreat.

heroin?! ive heard probably 3 pantera songs, including 'respect', and thats the only one i like. and not for the vocals. i have been curious about the hype, so im going to DL a train car full of thier songs and test them out.

Dude's insane, but he can SING. I also love "respect walk" for its ... attitude, I guess.

are you talkin' to me????

Ray is very raw

im thinking it sounds like iced earth

I like to imagine this to the tune of a slightly modified Painkiller by Judas Priest. Here's what it sounds like with bass emphasized.

Haha I love how in frame two Lyle looks like a dork without his bottle, but then when he starts playing he's all Shit-Kicking Lyle again.

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