plz can gladi8rrex come here and tell this guy he sucks?

We need another forum for talking about the strip.

In this case, I would at least like to point out that "you ain't a guy of kids" is the best line in classic RB style we've seen in a while.

Cornelius is, in many ways, the quintessential guy who is not of kids. I think there is a clear lesson here.

And that's coming from Belgand, who, I safely assume, is not a guy of kids.

Yeah kids are a TRAVESTY, right?

As a 12 year old transgendered individual I am very upset by your cisgendered assumptions about my physicality. I am NOT a tranny mess; I am a beautiful, strong zir.

--this has been a joke about the stupid new phrases alternative-alternative-sexuality-and-gendered groups make up to separate themselves from us normal homo/heterosexuals--

(thank you for listening)

You forgot "bi-".

hello... he said "normal."

YES! I love using the "Speaking as a ____, I am offended by this because ______" when I am clearly not really a member of the over-generalized class of the first "_____" and the second "____" is pretty much entirely defined in terms of the first. It RULES.

Hormonosexuals

Oh yes, very clever, dick-ass.

All it took was an ability to push the "Stop" button, AIU. For God's sake, put in some effort.

most assetbar users say: Quote:

what the hell are you doing

[FUCK OFF RETARD]Hey bored2, I like your post.[/FUCK OFF RETARD]

Congratulations on making my Ignore List, prick!

Stop co-opting Gladdi's humour. You sicken me.

okay, new strip preview

(roast beef and molly is lying in bed)
(is a matress on a floor)
(no bed spring)
(lamp is on end table the dimensions of a book)
(cats does not needs bedspring?)

6am

knock knock knock kncok

molly: he awake again. it's your turn

(so here you see philip is waking up a lot)

roasted beef: damn i will have a nervous breakdance if I wake up so early what are you trying to do to me you bitch leave me the fuck alone if you have a problem go deal with it yourself you incredible cunt grow up and learn to take care of yourself and your own needs the world does not revolves around you.

molly: FINE! I go to watch his shitty TV show with him.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backyardigans

molly: his TV show is shit is the worst shit shitted from smelliest ogre with diet of prunes and rasins.

molly: I go watch shitshow with philip.

molly: and you can stay in bed you asshole.

Beefies: okay technically the show is not called "shitshow" and please don't be such a bitch or you will teach philip to be like you and the world doesn't need another bitch like your bitch skank ass, bitch!

Molly:

FUCK you!

Beef: holy shit molly you went and hacked assetbar just so you could bitch me out in large font face?

beefer: Our relationship is so much over!

(so here you see classic delimma of stress kind of simmering smouldering like a fire in a compost hidden beneath the surface but ready to spontaneously combust one of these days when onstad runs out of ideas more so than normal and cant' think of anything else to write about.

okay maybe I am being extreme but shit I mean, why does strips have to be about strife and tension all the time. well I guess that's why they call it achewood for a reason, because it's a shitty shity life so the overall theme of this strip is a sort of melancholy and lassitude.

Well shit, have you seen Onstad's wife and Onstad himself? I mean, they are both kinda the sorts of peoples who, if either one of them married a good looking and interesting person, it might be alright, the whole ambiance and vibe might be okay, but they go and marry each other, and well, God, that kid of theirs is going to have issues, is all I can say.)

i_love_kate -- an igorant person called and lefts a message to say he wants his ignorance back.

igorant people are like that sometimes...

god let's hope he isn't.

Plus he could have depression.

and you will get lamed as much as any other frist poster

here come the lames

I assume we're talking about _chris_onstad_, who most of you should already be ignoring from prior bullshit like I am.

I didn't even notice he had said anything. I could almost chubby myself.

i had him ignored and didn't even know it, until i saw that i had hi as such.

pugugly, you are doing it wrong. And what you are doing is already bad.

*Ignore User*

(for the record, what he is doing is trolling, but he's not very good.)

If you're ignoring him for that, I must surely already be on your ignore list.

Everybody's on his ignore list except for himself and missbee. It's kinda creepy actually.

I am there
and missbee is there
and it's just the two of us

I think I missed something.

Aye, lighten up, gormster.
puguglypress is perhaps a little hit-and-miss, but I thought that was a palpable hit.
Let's not get into bashing Onstad about frequency of updates; I'm becoming increasingly aware of an element among Assetbarbers that seems to think that Onstad has a duty to provide comics for their gratification. Dude has a life, for fuck's sake.

Dude needs to be put down if he can't produce strips any more than this

When I'm just being sorta funny, it's usually either a small hit, or else kind of a mediocre joke that doesn't really bug anybody and they move on without chubbying or laming. Sometimes I get too ambitious and try to combine humor with some controversial idea that I have. Like with the whole Larsonian God thing, I was aiming for like a REALLY BIG HIT, and obviously that totally blew up in my face.

My favorite thing about Achewood is that Onstad gets REALLY ambitious with his humor. On paper, the jokes about Roast Beef's depression shouldn't work at all. But they're usually his best stuff! The downside is that sometimes he tries some weird idea that just totally falls flat. It was funny in his head, but it just didn't resonate with anybody.

I guess my point is that I'm exactly like Chris Onstad in every way.

chubbied for cleverness. i truely laughed out loud.

But not for orginality. I already used this reference Here you invidious plagiarist.

well, you used it on a good-for-nothing strip, so the important people skipped it and never saw your comment.

Hey, I saw it.

...oh.

I sincerely apologize, mensch. That guest strip was so goddamn terrible I didn't even read the comments.

OH GOD PLEASE FUCK OFF

I'm gonna make you SQUEE, boy.

self-aware reincarnated humans

is that an oxymoron?

I'm pretty sure Cornelius is talking about just a species in general...is in it is the unfortunate feature of ANY species. He seems the sort.

Earlier this year I read SQUEE'S BIG GIANT WONDERFUL BOOK OF UNSPEAKABLE HORROR. It was superb.

I thought this was an ok first post!

i can't think of a better way to spend thanksgiving than photoshopping god in a fury. 8x better than spending time with relatives

A Larsonian God governs our universe; I knew it.

What he said. Go sit on a canary.

Convenient advice, as I have decided to nickname puguglypress' rectum "The Coalmine."

Stick a lump of coal up there and in two weeks you got a diamond.

[IMGS OFF]

I have to eat some crow. You guys were totally right. I did some internet research, and I feel really embarrassed. He ripped off KLIBAN. Kliban.

My bad.

That may be a little closer to the truth, but what do you call it when a ripper-off succeeds in producing something superior to the product of the ripped-off? Whatever you call it, that's what that is.

It's called development.

good artists copy great artists steal- me

this is a guy why knows how to make people feel bad about themselves.

Only people with wonky ideas about The Far Side or The Clash.

[And seriously, isn't it about time we put that old tirade (which, incidentally, was probably my most chubbied post ever) behind us? That was almost two years ago. Don't be such a tragic one.]

I believe I am misunderstood. I love how you can bust people down to there 0's and 1's.

Your ability is to make people into binary code. That's how harsh you are. It's magnificent.

(Mama never loved me)

yes, there's lots of mediocre trolls out there, Tragicone, you'd better harden up if you expect to last on that there Inter-net

Shit yes!

sweet icon.

guys, it's been a while for me--how is this place now? is it still like a hipster bar? but some of the hipsters are okay, but we're all wearing masks and clever and prone to references two guys and a hundred googlers get so it's never easy to tell?

cutting remarks disguised as thinly veiled insulting question...approved!

this is also an acceptable answer.

I mean, I assume the deity is Badass, and being omnipotent, can have whatever the fuck he wants.

Still, the evidence, as noted above, is that YHWH drives a Plymouth Fury, possibly named Christine.

Jesus Christ you kids get out of my head.
I was driving my Infiniti home from a job last night under the stars listening to Brown Sugar, thinking this is how Connie buys it flying off a bridge over the Canadian River on Route 66.....

There's something make you feel good...and it gonna change your life

The Eliminator coupe was a '34 Ford coupe.
[IMGS OFF]

I never knew it was a Ford. Seems like this fact would have stuck in Lyle's throat somewhat during The Badass Games.

I had to read that twice to get the joke.

I shall lame myself and give you a chubby.

Best comment made on asset bar ... ever.

Thank god. I was jonesin' for Philippe, and think I just overdosed. But you know, in a good way.

Also, I like how Roast Beef is "borrowing" him.

bugger that child

That child is Phillippe

Don't worry Beef; in a couple hours the good shows will be on.

Sizeist!

wouldn't it be massist?

melanin-challenged midgetist!

Astronomically challenged!

That's very challenged.

More than you know.

Quick question: has anyone received their pints that were order-able last month? When should I be concerned that mine is missing?

this red font tempts me to ignore onstad. maybe its just because i just washed down an advil with a skunked sam adams.

ehhh, im gonna take it for a spin.

[FONT COLOR = MENSTRUAL DOUCHE]

Meoww....

[/MENSTRUAL DOUCHE]

Not only have I not received my Glass, I haven't received any other part of my order. Something to do with the reprinting of Cookbook II, I have been lead to believe.

"Should ship late November"

Let's just not infer what this means about his sex life.

OH HO HO

THAT WACKY ONSTADT SURE TROLLED ZAPATOS

OH HO HO HO HO

All right. I ordered the Cookbook II. =) They're both presents, but for someone that totally lives with me. It's like, when a husband buys a wife a set of golf clubs, bowling ball too heavy for her, or a vacuum cleaner. It's to them but I'll probably be the one using it.

Hilarious!

Molly is going to ace this little experiment.

how did he break this to her in the first place?

My immediate thought would be that she was all for it; I don't think we see enough Molly-Philippe interaction in strips, but I anticipate that they'd get along well enough.
On the other hand, Molly would effectively be caring for two "children".

My immediate thought would be that she was all for it; I don't think we see enough Molly-Philippe interaction in strips, but I anticipate that they'd get along well enough.
On the other hand, Molly would effectively be caring for two "children".

Fuck YOU Assetbar, you lying piece of shit.

Four children now

Two days later, I get the joke.

"I are clevur! :D"

Philippe, Philippe, Philippe. God owns every car. That is how He decides when One is to die.

If children are to be equated with the Kennedy assassination; does the Milkman occupy the Grassy Knoll?

And what to make of Bobby...

[IMGS OFF]

I hate you, Milkman Dan.

I am the Milkman, my milk is delicious.

It comes in pints

I am making pies. Someday, my husband will no longer find me attractive, but he will always desire my pies.

"We are the Road Crew." See, he really was thinking about making Brutal Legend back during the Psychonauts development cycle.

This is perhaps my favorite retelling of the Kennedy Assassination.

"Hair's a mess"

Very rough chuckle.
Wonderful litote there, Mr. Bear.

r u the real chris onstand????

yes it is the real onstand he has finally snapped with Assetbarbarians slamming on his work and dissing him on his own website

Although to tolerate internet discourse it helps if Since this is the internet, your ignorance of what "litotes" means is not unforgivable.

Awkward grammar an actual litote. Huxley College awaits your resignation.

There's a plus sign in there. You can't see it though. It's there.

Oop.

You're right. I thought litotes was any form of understatement, I see now that it must involve a negative.

My bad.

Check List
Got old: already did that

"Do you have Dora?" concerns me.

It should.
It should.
It should.
The horrible harpy repeats every thing three times.
The horrible harpy repeats every thing three times.
The horrible harpy repeats every thing three times.
It's enough to drive you mad.
It's enough to drive you mad.
It's enough to drive you mad.

Sorry that should have been "Its enough to drive you Loco."

...It's enough to drive you Loco.
It's enough to drive you Loco.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejui-
Too late, he's already here.

Great. Now we're all going to jail.

I know you're being a dicktroll but this is actually a pretty thoughtful question. You're not doing anything illegal. Most people would consider it weird, unsettling, etc. But it is not technically "wrong," I think.

It'll only be not wrong if you're a 5th grader too, probably. If we had a pedophile expert here, they'd be able to help you more.

(Ahem) It would still be wrong.

Oh yeah, says "SOCIETY," whatever that means.

OK BUT WHAT IF THE 5TH GRADER TURNS OUT TO BE A PEDOPHILE IN HIS FUTURE ADULT LIFE?

Then we can blame you.

Truly there is a difference between being a Pedophile Expert and an Expert Pedophile.

Wooo... we got some muthafuckin' grammar up in here yo! Adjectives totally be modifyin' the hell out of nouns like it ain't even a thang, yknowhaimsayin?

Belgand, are you drunk?

Phillips?

are monogamous pedophiles better or worse than regular kind? there are a lot of questions i can't ask people not on the internet

I don't think that many paedophiles actually get married to kids; surely it's just a lurve thang.

Monogamy has more to do with sexual/emotional relations than strictly marriage, ya big hot tranny mess.

"Monogamy" can be used to describe the sexual and marital aspects of a relationship, and to my understanding is more generally accepted (when appearing as simply "monogamy", rather than specifically marital or sexual monogamy, etc.) to refer to marital relationships.
-gamos (Gr.), marriage, union, wedding. See also: joke.

You were doing good until you fell back on the bullshitty "Hey man it's JuSt A jOkE." But let's talk turkey. If we're talking about adults, we'd most likely be talking about marriage re: monogamy. If we're talking dogs, or parrots, or gorillas, we're talking sexual relations. 5th graders, not being Of Age, are more like dogs, parrots and gorillas in this case.

A turkey, an adult, a child, and a dog walk into a bar, and they ask the bartender if he has any condoms...

Well, auchtung asks of monogamous paedophiles, and I would normally assume that all paedophiles are adults, but I see what you're driving at.
Still, I feel compelled to defend my original comment: I knew that auchtung did not mean maritally-monogamous paedophiles, and it is on this understanding that lies the humour in my (apparent) misinterpretation of his meaning. Your comment, depite the cordial tone, suggests that you either "didn't get it", or thought that engaging in a debate concerning the absolute definition of the concept of "monogamy" would make for entertaining reading.
More interesting is the idea that 5th graders might be more readily expected to engage in sexual relationships with multiple partners, than to be married to even one (which I suppose suggests that the modern definition of a marriage is principally a legal one, and so while you can illegally bugger that child to your heart's content, it would be an infinitely more complicated matter to "illegally marry" him (or her)).

Back and forth
))<>((

On the other hand, I can't auctually spell "achtung".

Achtung und auch Tung.

How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Uh its a really obscure number you probably never heard of.

It is not wrong, it is the greatest thing.

In all seriousness I'd be glad that such analogues exist so that if someone really wants to do such a thing they have a reasonable facsimile available to do it to. This is how virtual reality will finally allow all of us to become bored with even our most perverse and anti-social ideas.

On a related topic I've occasionally thought about how, in the future, someone might create a robot that was simultaneously programmed to be a ready, constantly willing sex bot, but is also programmed to hate and loathe sex with everyone, but unable to express this. Eventually someone will make this rape-bot in a child model.

That sex has often driven technology should not be an unfamiliar concept to anyone. The two things people really want robots for, it would seem, are to have sex with and to clean their houses. Furthermore it seems that the Japanese are really the only ones putting serious work into robotics these days. Thus I suspect that the first really breakthrough robot will be a sexy anime maid that you can fuck. Even money says that she cries during sex.

VERRY NICE!! HIGH FIVE!1

[IMGS OFF]

OKAY FAIR ENOUGH

BUT WHAT IF I DO IT AS A PERFORMANCE ART PIECE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PLAYGROUND DURING 5TH GRADE RECESS?

5th graders are fucking philistines man, they won't get it at all.

The best place to do it is in a city that has one of those storefront art things going on where they put art in disused storefronts.

I'm not sure you could fit an entire playground of 5th graders into a store front

FIFTH graders? Aw man, lemme tell you something about fifth graders. They ain't nothing but BULLSHIT.

[IMGS OFF]

Nothing but bullshit.

that's actually one of the things that really creeped me out about the touamb.com board was that at least one of the users on there insists on using his 5th grade picture as his avatar...

that one in the second row from the top, third from the left, looks kind of satanic.

If by "satanic" you mean "like the newest addition to Rowboat's Jack Off Rolodex," then yes, she looks very "satanic."

I can't fucking believe that no one liked my "jacking off to a little girl" joke. What the fuck is wrong with this place?

I was too busy wanking it to the top row, second from the left.

In my dreams she deep-throats like a TriDelt full of Peach Schnapps.

I wonder how Satan looked in his 5th grade photo

Probably a lot like a young Ann Coulter

just keep an eye on this picture in case her head starts to spin

Class portraits always had some ugly/satanic/goofball kids in them. That's the fun in it.

Note, for example, the guys that wear full-ass suits and those who wear plaid shirts with clip-on ties.

Oh shiiiiiiiiit PS 32 Q; this school is not very far from my elementary school. That's kind of creepy, especially since I was the one who picked this photo. That's actually really creepy.

"Research" shows this school is located in Flushing, Queens, about a 20-25 minute drive from The Old Neighborhood. DAAAMN that is CRAAAAZY.

Hey. Multiple posting is my thing. Don't take that away from me.

Jackass

I had to; it was relevant to that post so I had to keep responding to myself. MAYBE if we had an edit button, things would be different.

dora is one of those hot little latina sluts, i KNEW it

oh wow that totally looks like dora the explorer ensconced in a dong


but is it art?

Better yet, will it blend?

Answer : Given enough time, anything can be made to blend.

Dora the Explorer is an obsession of little boys everywhere. I don't know if it's some kind of Oedipal thing, along with how little boys love the shoes of grown ups be them boots or heels (and most the time the heels). For some reason boys tend to love Diego as well. I'm not even getting into that one.

Quote:
my theory on that is that maybe gay stereotypes are kinda dumb...

Damn my weird instinctual desire to preface every comment with the word "Dude". That does not scan.

Also it is worth mentioning that AssetBar is not Madness.

MADNESS?! THIS! IS! ASSETBAAAAAAR!!!

i apologize for that, gentlewomen and fellows.

We were all thinking it.

Exactly. So why even say it?

Um, it kind of is?

[IMGS OFF]

The sweet act of love is a Caranco rifle in the hands of a lone gunman.

people that dont like kids are usually self-centered. for good or for ill.

I'll admit to laughing.

i ignored that douchenozzle, so ill reply to his comment under yours:

that explains your mothers behavior last night.

YES BUT PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE KIDS ARE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT SELF-CENTERED.

And this is a happy child, people, remember that. The grass is never green: this is the other side!

Narcissist, eh? Mr. Onstand meets Mr. Lacan.

In my haste to be the 40th post, I spelled 'Onstad' incorrectly.

In understanding, there is first the desire to understand.

I WOULD LIKE TO SINK A MEAT CLEAVER INTO THE EXPOSED SHIN OF A CHILD 'HIDING' BEHIND THE DRAPES


I WILL ADMIT THAT MY WRITINGS CAN BE DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTNAD

Mr. Bear does not like children.

oh god the tears will not stop

OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.
OH MY GOD.

Dora's Syndrome strikes again!
(Dora's Syndrome strikes again! Dora's Syndrome... etc.)

Dios mío!
Dios mío!
Dios mío!

GOD DAMMIT ASSETBAR
GOD DAMMIT ASSETBAR
GOD DAMMIT ASSETBAR

just when i thought last strip was all the pure depression i could get this week... you show up.

I like the fact that it fleshes out Corny's origin a little.
Is that a Raven on the headstone?

Nevermore!

Where did my put my copy of How to weep, the weepy-weep way? I could use a little help right now.

You know, it always seems like men recieve five o'clock shadow when they have kids. Already, we see that Roast Beef has achieved this sought-after new-daddy look. Also, if God had a car, it'd probably not be a VW Bug with the license plate "TinkerBug". Just sayin'.

I'm searching for a joke about buggery here and it's not coming together. My skills have gone rusty... help me Assetbar!

Belgand has a mouth and is fully capable of screaming, but no one pays it any notice when he does.

good show all around!

and your wife is left to take up most of the burden, all hiding her tears

Much as I love Philippe, being prematurely roused from blissful slumber at six in the morning by incessant knocking and a deluge of "Wake up! I need a hug! Do you have [insert atrocious children's television character]!? I need to poop!" would very probably push me Over the Edge.

All so true; and the glossolalia just gets worse at 13. You WISH they'd get sullen and stop talking.

Fuckin' Fhilippe!

Do not force Cornelius Bear to make use of his cricket bat.

If only you could Ctrl Z that post.

Fuck you for messing with my expectations of what kind of poster you are. Fuck you for making me give you a chubby.

You know, a child is basically an socially inept, narcissistic, greedy monster who furthermore is ignorant to a degree that would be downright offensive in a normal person.

ahhh... So, they are tiny politicians?

Note: I do not have children and I do not watch CSPAN.

Ah, the wisdom of Dylan Moran.

Disclaimer: I concur with your point of view.

I am certain that Black Books and Spaced can be effectively combined into a comprehensive philosophy and guide to life, but I haven't quite worked out all of the details. I suspect that it might just need a dash of Father Ted in order to properly meet the goal of right thinking in all things.

Given that Graham Linehan was a principal writer for a substantial part of Black Books and Father Ted, I think that you perhaps do him to great a credit. "The IT Crowd" is shit.

What you seem toi be implying here, sir, is that anything contaiing Richard Ayoade as a principal actor could ever be shit.

Would you like some mustard on those words.

That is my belief and understanding, and I stand by it. Richard Ayoade, however, is probably the most capable actor/comedian on the show (which doesn't seem too hard), and I maintain that The IT Crowd is the single worst thing that Chris Morris (or Linehan) has ever done.
Maybe I'm a cynic, or just a curmudgeon, but it seems that every British comedian (or comedy show) to have broken through in the last, I don't know, three or four years, has been relentlessly shit.

I fully concur. It is inexplicably terrible.

Where do I sign?

I'd join the Church of Jack any day. Just keep the nuns away from us.

You don't like the nuns?
G'wan, talk to the nuns.
G'wan g'wan g'wan g'wan g'wan g'wan.

Mind you, if they're anythng like The Penguin in The Blues Brothers.....

At the rate things are progressing on Assetbar, I expect there will only be about ten or fifteen non-ignored people by 2010.

I fail to understand the allure of posting under customized troll accounts in an exaggerated style when you're neither the first--nor the funniest, nor most annoying--to have attempted such; but hey, as long as they get a kick out of it.

I HAVE TO KEEP MAKING NEW ACCOUNTS IN ORDER TO REACH A WIDER AUDIENCE BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP IGNORING ME. SO WHEN I MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT, I CATCH THE IGNORERS OFF GUARD UNTIL THEY IGNORE ME AGAIN. YOU COULD SAY THAT I AM SELFISH, BUT THERE IS ALSO AN ARGUMENT TO BE MADE THAT I AM GREGARIOUS AND SOCIABLE BECAUSE I LIKE TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE SO MUCH

STILL, SINCE I FIGURED OUT HOW TO KEEP MY ACCOUNTS OFF THE GLOBAL IGNORE LIST, IT HAS BEEN A LOT NICER TO HANG OUT HERE.

SHIT! MY OTHER ACCOUNT GOT GLOBALLY IGNORED! i SHALL HAVE TO REPOST EVERYTHING IT SAID!

I am praying for a horrible fire-related death in your immediate future.

relax. i quit posting in menstration red.

It's not about your enjoyment, or a lighthearted discussion of a webcomic. It's about scrolling past one thousand instances "Comment left by [username] ignored". It's about all those sock puppets for whom it doesn't matter whether they're actually trolling anyone or not. It's about standing up, and proclaiming:

"I AM TEH BIGEST RETREAD ON TEH INTYRE INERTNESTS"

Hmm. Looks like somebody beat me to it, eh?

But... I am the biggest retread on the internet...

I am a tire which has been rejuvenated.

I still think Paris Hilton's got you beat there.

Please tell me Ms. Hilton hasn't found a way to operate in-tyre inertnests?

There is also this woman who had her vagina "fall out".

In reality she just had a severe case of vaginal prolapse. It doesn't seem quite the same as something falling out.

Oh that and hysterical fainting were quite commonplace in 19th century Vienna.

For whom?

Anna?

Oh.

Freud basically made his name in vaginal retreads before he wrote all those books on psychology.

so is that what those big strips of rubber are by the side of the road?

Wait. I can sue my neighbors for their kid screaming? This is excellent news.

My 1/5th of a dime: Beef and Molly will have a baby, having a baby will give Beef a glimmer of hope, etc etc.

The old axiom "write what you know" applies well here, and I bet Onstad has a lot of material relating to fatherhood just waiting to be used.

either that or he's fixin' a hang himself

if peeps only writ wat they knew then teh bible woulda not been made an thas a best seller so...

In one fell swoop, you've unravelled the mystery of the B*ble.
Just watch out for the Grail operatives now, OK?

Well, you can't really call yourself a cartoonist until you've penned a few Becoming A Father bits.

Achewood will then permanently be a comic about a baby.

###i know i coment vids b4

i gots lik no otter forarm 2 climbs 2 mountain tops for things i like so dis is best i can do an i used to feel bad/sad dat i hab 2 com heres 2 teh bar an post vid i like but nah i make no apologies it is what it is i aint gon' feels bad 4 maselb dis ma reality an i m aight wit dat

takes a lot of strength in one's self to accept reality. you're a bigger man than i am, glad. probably bigger than most Assetbarbarians

stop ragging on him just 'cos he put on a little weight this year!

eat a dick bro you know i ain't talking about weight, i'm talking about ballsack size

What happens when you use up both your chubby and lame allotments?

Seriously.

WHAT HAPPENS

well, you just start up another account, no?

You'll have a fresh supply when the next strip is posted.

Start marking everything as spam, then start ignoring everybody.

Eventually, you will live in a realm of extreme nothingness through which the light of all creation must pass judgment

Isn't that Myspace?

myspace is the ghetto of the internet.