I just noticed how perfect your avatar is! Guys look how perfect his avatar is!

Oh my lord, that is the most perfect avicon ever.

SPLUT!

he's using all his presents. what a wonderful application of oneself.

I seem tho recall edwell donating that on this thread.

to recall. Hmm, I have an internet lisp.

cornelius may have won the games, but lest we forget, let us all behold the raw power conjured on the day of lyle's and marijuana's twin birth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BstyQX-kQQ

Chubbied this whole exchange.

It's a shame I changed my Avaicon because no one will get it.

It looked like this:

[IMGS OFF]

DAYMAN AHHAAHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHH FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAN! AHHHHHAHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

We have a radio station that calls itself K-HITS, KHTT 106.9. This is a station that plays Britney Spears, so I would rather gouge out my eardrums than listen to it, but, hey, you brought it up.

There are probably 50 to 100 other radio stations that refer to themselves as K-HITS. So, really, you probably aren't going to get the reaction you hope for by shouting LOVE K-HITS.

11th shouter?

sometimes i run,
sometimes i hide...

"K" radio call letters start west of the Mississippi, I think. They start with "W" in the East, i.e. WLS in Chicago, so fuck your K-Hits.

you are correct.

The Communications Act of 1943 established the W to the east, K to the west rule.

And I agree with "fuck K-Hits." I cannot imagine any radio station called K-HITS be something I would ever listen to. You ain't never gonna find no Tom Waits on no K-HITS.

K
LOVE IT
SEDATIVE

one of my friends once did K with James St. James.

actually, she sold it to him.

Umm no. It's a sedative in horses.

Couldn't remember the proper name for something that mainly causes the perception of having very large hands and a severe inability to walk properly.
But seriously, there should totally be a word just for that. It would be a good one to toss around.

Nobody should ever listen to K-HITS, even in jest. What a horrible station.

What a rotten application of one's radio tuner.

They are a great disappointment to their parents.

In my dormitory in Moscow I used to do knife hits of black hash with a Georgian named Soso. Classy doesn't even begin to describe it.

The Maltese crosses in Lyle's calligraphy make the frontispiece vaguely reminiscent of the Georgian flag.

Hash in a hot knife, that's what I'm talkin' about!

I can't speak for the lamers -- in fact, I haven't even lowered my threshold to see who it was -- but by congratulating Onstad on his great comic, you were kind of stating the obvious, at least according to most people on the board. People were also probably pissed that an 'newb upstart' like yourself should tell onstad what he should or shouldn't do with his time. Basically, from what I can tell, you made yourself look like an oblivious fanboy. But also, some people on the 'bar are hella douchebags.

this is true, and while most everyone on here is not a douchebag, there is still a great diversity of opinion and point of view, so no matter what you say and how you say it, there is a good chance that in someone's world view, your statement will be lame, and in fact you often won't even be able to figure out for yourself why they think this. You can ask, but it probably won't help, because most people don't want to diagram their inner thought process for you. Asking them to do this is kind of like for example asking someone why he or she likes the color green... It can be hard to explain. So don't worry about it. You can try to be inoffensive to most people on here, but if you try to argue with someone on what they consider lame, and disagree with them on their opinion, damn, that is an argument that you can't win, it just ends in name calling and AM NOT AM NOT ARE TOO ARE TOO kind of stuff.

Changing the subject for a moment, what is up with rating this strip a 4.4? It is at LEAST a 4.7! Gawd! Sometimes you people make me so angry I can't begin to tell you!

I just kinda assumed that people were doing it because they just plain didn't like me. But the compliment may be obvious, but I was just being nice. And I told him he should come on mre because he would be accepted, I guess. Did you see his first post? I don't know. I wasn't telling him he should go on; he can do whatever he wants.

I rated it a three. You have to rate it against other achewoods, I think, and not against other comics.

If you pay attention, you'll notice that nearly everyone gets a couple of random lames here and there for absolutely no reason at all. Complaining about it, however, will garner you more deliberate lames because everyone's been over this a million times and it's a boring discussion that no one wants to look at. So just ignore it and stick to making good posts like you've been doing otherwise, and soon you'll have enough chubbies that you'll stop caring about a few pesky lames.

Yeah, you're right. I won't worry 'bout it no mo'.

Here, have a "keep on truckin'" chubb.

Here's a chubb-chubb for both of you: you for just being cool and uplifting like, catgrl, and you for giving up a losing battle while you still had your dignity, sje. Good going, folks!

Aww, thanks!

niiiiiiiice

The phrase "groin idiots" alone makes it a five.

I'm pretty sure the vast... vastitude of the assetbar is a back-pat enough for my hot sauce vendor.

[IMGS OFF]

So ... what font does Onstad use for his speech bubbles?

The font he uses is named Interstate, and it is a good font which can be used for many purposes. I recently developed a website in which the central font is a version of Interstate called Interstate Mono.
Despite my desires, I have decided to abstain from providing a hyperlink to the website in question, due to the shameless self-promotion that it would portray. Anyhow, it is a website for a management training firm located in the North West of the UK, so what do you care in any case? (Unless you are from the North West in which case we should have a beer immediately. There is a supreme shortage of Achewood aware citizens in Lancashire.

It's at my expense . . .but I like it. (or are you satirizing the folks who lamed me?)

I am. Because I actually chubbied you for your audacity. You have big balls, son.

All hail contrasoma, King of Assetbar!

Why?

That's a fun question, really.

And it works in virtually any situation!

I gave him one for you.

That was adorable.
You get a chubby for writing cute words on the internet!

That seems like a lot of trouble just to annoy one person who irritates me mildly at worst. Plus I didn't really understand any of that creating new accounts malarkey.
What Assetbar needs is to appoint me King of the Mods so I read through all the comments and ban people who get all up on my goat.
(Wait, that would mean I'd have to read all the inane comments every day, which would obviously suck more than somewhat. I need to go in the other room and ponder this)

Quote:

You're so close to finding the solution, and yet so far...

The solution is to stop whining, ignore the comments and just read the strip. It's so SIMPLE.
Goodbye forever.

This one is a win-win-win. The extra win is for winning. Also I'm not sure if this guy's new avacon is Ron Jeremy or not.

It... looks like Ron Jeremy as Mario. And I don't know how to feel about that.

I feel like maybe it's about time for a new Super Mario Bros. movie!

Sliding down your pipes. Hitting your bricks. Spewing 'fireballs' everywhere. He's takes mushrooms to get all big. Pornstar Mario doesn't care which castle the Princess is in. He'll settle for anything.

It's hornio, the lost mario porno. And it is rn jeremy. No one goes to something awful?

Not if I can avoid it.

It's a pretty funny site. It's not porno, at all. It just had an article about this not long ago. Here:
http://www.somethingawful.com/. It's always good for a laugh.

Oh, I know what it is. It's how I learned all about swap.avi after all.

I just urbandictionaried that.

I think I'm done with this internet.

Quote:

The FUCK, Hedo. It's obviously Ash from Evil Dead, during one of the "Ash goes nuts" scenes (my bet is the Windmill scene from Army of Darkness). Of course it's me that picks this sorta thing up. In fact, it is so damned stereotypical of my Assetbar persona, that I'm going to go back to a classic avatar from my own personal cache.


Meanwhile, when's this muthfucka gonna give up? Have someone else to hate, or something else to DO. It was funny for a while how easily you could string Elbox along, and how you were putting in a fair bit of effort into your troll character, but Crom's devils, it's a bit fucking sad now.

Hellballs, it's enough to confuse my orifices and make me vomit up my own shit onto the keyboard, try and clean it up with my own pubic hair, and slam my head in the fridge door until someone finds me and pays me money to go get drunk and forget all this crap ever happened.

That's how fucking stupid it is. And you are.

By the way, from second paragraph-onwards I was talking about AlreadyInUse (et al handles) and his ongoing slapfight with AchillesElbow, and not about Hedonismbot or any of his workings.

You know I got naught but love for the the droid with the massive love tool.

Haha, I was like "Did I miss something here?"

DO you like the droid because of his massive love tool, or were you just clarifying which love droid you like?

Errr.....I, um, dicks?

Also, I seem to have come here at the exact time that he had his avicon changed to Bruce Campbell, and then changed it back again in time for me to look like a tard.

Thanks, man. Thanks a lot.

Wait, no, I just got confused because they were both using the same avatar. I see what happened now.

Nothing to see here, folks.

I changed my avatar because it was stolen by that crazy person who wrote the long all-caps rant and I wanted to distance myself from him. He seemed to think we were about to become some kind of crime fighting team.
It's annoying, because it's my most badass avatar.
(Damn, I'm not supposed to be commenting. Disregard everything)

I think you made the wrong choice.

String me along? Sure, if you wanna call it that. I don't see how what you're doing now by responding is any different than what I've been doing.

If you're wondering why I've been singled out, it's pretty simple really. A while ago when his trolling was not yet full-blown I happened to mention on here that I'd be in Chicago for a few days, after which he added and messaged me on Facebook asking to hang out. I politely declined and gave my reasons for doing so, but still added him back because I figured I'd give him a chance and there's no way anyone could be that much of a tool in one-on-one communications. I was proven wrong, after which I told him off and blocked him. That's all there is to this story.

Anyway, my point is I don't see how I've 'fallen' for some trick or other. It seems more like you have by indirectly helping his strategy of singling people out and attacking them. I still think you're rad, just, you know, lay off and don't blame the victim.

But elbox, you were wearing a pretty short skirt, and you had had a bit to drink. Come to think of it, you were hanging around a pretty bad part of town, too. It's almost like you were asking for it...

Touche, Elbz. Well said. I recant my "stringing along" comment, as there was clearly History. I kinda also made that comment somewhat just as a playful jab at you, however in hindsight the way in which I implemented it seems a bit too obscure to have really been seen as playful. Oh well, not enough sleep.

And yes, I realise the irony of my posting like 20 times in response to him (indeed, responding at all). The irony is biting as it is tasty. Tasty, tasty irony. There is no better.

It's actually from Evil Dead II, I only know this because I just recently watched Evil Dead II and saw that, and then remembered what a big dick Keir is.

Oh, hee hee hee! Alreadyinuse all with a little fishing rod, telling you to go fuck yourself.

I think the latter.

"Thunderclap from the heavens." That's how I felt, yeah. Getting a chubby from Onstad is like the Pope giving you a Cadbury egg on Easter, and I think it should remain that special.

But the thing is you can know who lamed you by lowering your lame threshold, but you can never know who chubbied you. So how do you know you never got a chubby from onstad before?

Oh my god. You're right! What if... What if he appreciates me? That would finally validate my existence, but I'll never know.

Quote:

I'm sorry, Mr. Groening. It sounds deep, but I'm not sure if that actually makes any sense.

The Pope is a lie

Still be hella special getting a Cadbury egg on Easter from him!

Is... is that the camp nazi from Allo! Allo! in your avaricon?

...and if I had read all the comments I would have had an answer, sorry.

No sweat, Octafish. It's hella nice to be recognised!

It is a little known wild speculation that every Easter the Pope blesses one True Believer with a Faberge Egg, which he himself lays. Inside this egg: the finest Chocolate Jesus you will ever taste.

Not to piss on the campfire here, but what would prevent someone from creating an account with the name Onstad and using it occasionally? Do we have verifiable evidence that the Onstad account belongs to the man himself?

Look at his status, that is proof enough.

Holy shit, dude! You got a chubby from Chris Fucking Onstad!

that is an awesome middle name.

i bet you ANY kid with that as their middle name would write his full name all the dang time.

Only alreadyinuse would lame this. And he did.

Oh, isn't that just so clever and subversive, laming the creator of the comic you're reading. I'm sure he has a masturbatory 40-page manifesto prepared about how it's an exploration of social conventions or something.

You have quite the post history. Only 8 comments, but apparently one was made 38 years ago.

He is master of time and cartoons.

Contrasoma has brought his "A" game this week. Thank you for these hashish ideas.

We would like to sign you to the label mr. contrasoma. The papers will be on your desk Monday.

The availablity of bongs and rarity or knife hits in Charlotte has just garnered me two lames and a chubby.

I like to imagine that the lames come from people who are all "man what is daidai talking about I'd kill for a bong. I'm so sick of k-hits, had em since middle school. What a wacky cholo that daidai is."

Then I imagine the chubby person is all "Yeah daidai bongs just aren't as fun after a while. I'd love a knife hit like I'd love a Porsche. Badass."

He's like Donald Sutherland's character from Animal House: the original beat pothead, who everyone called Daddy-O and Corny Baby.

they aren't smoking hash. this would not work.

I was born three, and it has been a downhill battle ever since.

Downhill battles are actually pretty easy. It's the uphill ones you gotta watch out for.

Downhill battles are the means by which the rowdy youths that live in my town determine who is head honcho. They are frequently broken up by the police.

I'm imagining kids tobogganing down a long, snowy hill, beating each other with chains in a sort of Road Rash-esque pantomime.

That's pretty much exactly what I was going for. Maybe with skateboards instead of toboggans, for that extra flavour of disenchantment.

And here I thought he was talking about Initial D, and people driving down hills in the rain to prove who has faster balls.

See if you'd been born three as an Indian prince from antiquity you could have achieved enlightenment.

Nirvana is classist like that.

A.A. Milne:
I was born three,
and I'm still three as ever,
Mummy, give me rice pudding,
for I am so clever!

It just ain't the "ACE OF SPADES" without that dang old middle finger.

Throwing horns is for pussies. Lyle flips God the bird.

Trick question! Lemmy IS God!!!

I know what you are referencing, and I am very disappointed in both of us.

Seriously?? As the sole chubbier of said comment (thus far), I merely have to state "Young, hot, long haired Steve Buscemi, Young Adam Sandler".. not to mention... "hot, long haired Brendan Fraser." Airheads was great!

I see those three names, and I see you using the word 'hot', and some part of my brains skips out. You seem to find lots of gents pretty attractive.

Brendan Frasier has a huge chin. i was given to understand that this is generally attractive to lady types?

Nah the ladies really dig on Jay Leno, Punch, and Mac Tonight. Who thought promoting a family restaurant with a character named after, and singing a parody of, a song about a psychopathic, murdering, raping, arsonist was a good idea?

Ya, I'm not down with the chin. The long hair rocker boy, yes.

Steve Buscemi is one of my favorite actors, but, uh, "hot" is not a word I would ever use to describe him.

I had a dream about him.
It left me with only questions.

I wish I could give chubbies to the both of you so hard.

Oh my god that's IT! Hallucinagens in church. Damn:

"My children thank you for coming today, if you all look under your seats..."

It's all about the Rapture, man.

More like rupture!

Rapter?

All gettin' chased by Jurassic Park velociraptors, feet hurting like crazy in those shiny shoes, being torn apart and bleeding all over those fine threads.

What if you're a doll and your fingers are fused-together plastic?

My first response was "More weed, less shrooms."

Then I watched the clip. LOL. Gave me an idea for a new seriea of puppet master movies....

Aww, would have been first if I had registered before today.

Just like the last Woot-off, the Ninja Gaiden 2 poster that came with a reserve of the game at gamestop, the free squirtguns at Lollapalooza 2007, and the Costco lobster bisque samples that ran out ten minutes before I got there.

be gentle it's my first comment too

Nothing feels free at Lollapalooza because the shirts cost you your entire wallet and an autographed picture of you with the words "my soul" written in blood.

Is that... Doug Funny getting crucified?

Doug Funnie needs to learn that is not how you win the heart of a blonde-haired black chick.

lol mayonnaise is white you guys

):

hey
thats not cool

the graphicness?
Sorry about that. I just did a google search and that was the first one that showed up (i misspelled Patty) and I thought that it ws a bit . . .odd.

I do not endorse this.

man it ain't you posting it so much as it's that somebody sat down and drew it. Somebody out there thought the world needed more Skeeter on Patty on Doug porn. Thank god Pork Chop is otherwise occupied or something...
THAT IS NOT A CHALLENGE FOR ONE OF YOU GOOFS TO POST PORKCHOP FUCKING THE PURPLE GIRL

I can totally hear Skeeter's voice in this and that makes it absolutely hilarious to me.

I totally hear the "honk! honk!"

That comic was one of the very few laugh out loud moments I've had on the internet. I am so hungover right now, I very much needed it. Chubby!

Anyone read somethingawful?
I'll just link to it, because I don't want to take Dr. Manflesh's place.
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/erotic-saturday-morning.php

I believe it's called rotisserie.

Oh how posh, they call it a good old fashioned spit roast 'round my way.

eiffel tower?

It is sometimes referred to as 'Chuckle Brothering' which is funny in the UK

You learn something every day.

"Man, it's been a while!"
"Since I chuckle brothered you that is."

That bird in the picture sure likes a bit of 'Dick & Dom'...

Saying that something is funny in the UK is kind of like saying that a band is big in Japan.

... and is kind of a recommendation depending. If it's humour and it's big in the UK, rad. If it's music and it's big in Japan, also rad.

These are both horrible overgeneralisations.

I go with "Chinese Fingercuffs" myself.

...we already know of your love of things Jay and Silent Bob related.

I like that one too.

[IMGS OFF]

Man, that movie ended so badly. That was the point I started really disliking Kevin Smith. I never got into him as a genius subversive filmmaker, but I could enjoy the funny and a few other bits. That ending was terrible. From there on I only went to any film to look for silly humor, a step above Will Ferrell, a step below John Landis. I stopped going at all after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

What exactly did you hate about it? Having been in a similar situation myself, I thought it was pretty poignant and spot-on.

Chasing Amy was unfortunately not well written, in my opinion, in that it explored questions of sexuality and orientation and arrived at mostly tripe stereotypes and myths.

Gay America's feelings on this movie are: con

My friends call it a suspension bridge.

if they were high fiving it would be the Eiffel Tower.

Why's she sucking off an Andorrian?

Or is it one of the Blue Man Group? Does that mean there's two more waiting their turn?

He's ODing on heroin.

Oh, no, Mihcael. I'm not in the group yet. I'm afraid I just blue myself.

I get that reference!

Man, those Smurfs have really loosened up...

I pray this post will explode into a thousand lames.

I'm surprised it hasn't.

To tell you the truth, the first time I saw it it was a bumper sticker on Facebook, and I actually got mad at the girl who posted it. And then I saw it today while searching for pattie mayonnaise, and I wanted to see what how assetbarians would treat it.

Ah, the Wobbly H. Good times, good times.

I've often wondered, what does the woman get out of such a three-way? (Besides a bad reputation.)

Let's ask theirateturk.

I don't want my dick in some chick's mouth while some guy is banging on her from behind. One thrust just a little too hard and she does a Lorena Bobbitt on me.

Depends on is she's on the winning side or losing side. If she's winning, she gets to get it on with two guys she hopefully has passions for. If she's losing, then let's hope she's got some bi in her. The greater question is what men get out of them. We can only stick it in one place at a time.

Yes, but it increases the degradation factor.

sex is not degrading

Nah, I'm just not someone who gets his jollies from degrading people. I am, however, dirty as fuck.

that's pretty dirty.

Sex is not degrading, but fuck is dirty?

Oh yeah!

Makeouts?

Dizneedave and chair! Maye you should post your own posts before judging other people's, my potential friends? Just a thought.

Do you really expect to reason with someone named Dizneedave.

Yeah, my hopes aren't high.

if there was a way to chubby and lame this at the same time, I would, in infinite quantities of both. However, I decided to chubby it

Yeah, it's definitely a controversial one.

a literal chubby, amirite?

That's drawn surprisingly well, apart from Skeeter and Doug's faces.

dudelookslikealady

//in a metal mood

right on the money

one time i got stoned and read a magazine with Duke Ellington

Me oh my, I once saw that man in a magazine.

I didn't let my grandchildren read that, as the article was overly concerned with this "jazz" situation music was in back then. Oh if only he'd get into some respectable music rather than throw all that talent away.

Lyle's calligraphy reminds me of Insane Clown Posse :-\

OH NO TOO LATE

Bay gilganixon and rachel, respectively

May they be roasted in His Fiery Chevy Apache.

Rioting to follow?

That is the best way to use the word groin, Lyle. The best way ever.

P.S. Hey y'all, groin buddies.

Chub for "groin buddy". I think I would use it in a different context, though....if you catch my drift.

I thought Lyle was a fifty seven year old maritimer type, on the tail end of Cornelius' generation.

He probably looks older than he is. He lives life hard.

Oh fuck me.

I'll say!

Philippe was born five.

Are all stuffed animals born the age they will be their whole life?

And does that mean that Lyle is three and will remain three the rest of his life?

No. Probably not.

I want phillipe creation story comic.

And Philippe will die five.

That is so sad. Five year olds don't die; God won't allow it. They live forever!

God is a lie.

*the cake

Maybe the saddest thing ever.

daaaamn i didn't know lyle was a tiger

"She's got the ACE OF SPADES!"

motorhead, bitches.

Is Motorhead the explanation for the "ACE OF SPADES" reference here? I read the Wikipedia entry on this playing card, but am still unsure as to what most people, referring to it, are talking about.

I was only aware of its pop culture significance due to its presence in an old Marx Brothers routine in Animal Crackers! (This is why I'm not allowed to smoke pot.)

A dude who's never heard of Motorhead...you're a rare breed, groin friend. A rare, wild breed.

didn't know that bunk-drawing bit...that's incredible! cliff was really the reason metallica had released some interesting shit. as soon as he died, they practically stopped being metal.

bullshit, ... and justice for all is one of their heaviest and most complex albums.

True. It was more like when they actually started letting Newsted play.

There's no real question about it being a Motorhead reference. Do people not remember Lyle's decision-making flowchart?

...And I'm not sure who that alterna-douche in the top photo is, but it sure as fuck isn't Lemmy or anyone else connected with Motorhead.

So angry contrasoma!
It's just Motorhead after all! *ducks*

Shit, where's the umlaut command?

Bro, given that we can't even type plus signs without breaking the internet, I wouldn't wanna flex with Assetbar as far as umlauts are concerned.

I'm not your bro, dude.

I'm not your dude, chum.

I'm not your chum, chap.

I'm not your chap, chode.

I'm not going to dignify that with a response, pal.

I'm not your chode, sweetheart

I'm not your sweetheart, lover

I'm not your lover, rapist.

I'm not your rapist, psycho

I'm not your psycho, hitchcock.

I'm not your lover, daddy

I'm not your daddy. Tell your mother to stop calling me.

But Simon, you're already dead!

I'm not dead, compadre.

No estamos compadres, jailbait. Another Motorhead song that one.

Chubbied for the Spider Jerusalem icon.

yeah. kept looking at that thinking "Man, Lemmy was young.. and somehow very modern looking. That pic was taken with a 1970's state of the art hasselblad then scanned with the best scanning software of today and PhotoChopped"

but no. it's none of that. it's just a contemporary pic of some dooshknocker.

no mole = no lemmy

Too many strings, not enough ugly, and he seems to be looking forward while singing, that is no Lemmy I've ever seen.

I'm not 100% on this, but I think it might be Adam from Killswitch Engage. And of course I am of low mind for even possibly knowing this.

I would give you a lame for that knowledge, but that would make me of Low Mind as well.

That beard...that beard evokes a visceral reaction of disgust and fear in me. That beard triggers my flight or fight response.

Man Lyle worships Lemmy

Motorhead fucking rules, mang.

I'm glad I don't live where Motorhead rules.

You're on another planet!? Which?

I wanted to link the motorhead video, of course, but this caught my eye and I had to share, hehe

http://hk.youtube.com/watch?v=zs3fqpj04OM

i gave it a 4 based merely on the fact that i didn't have to see Pete on here.

A 4?!? THAT IS NOT A 5

RABBLE RABBLE

LAME

(Nah, I gave it a 4 too)

I gave it a 2, because I didn't really think it was very good.

if you clicked on Achewood another 2 days and it was the Nice Pete / kill a dog strip, you'da been Fivin' it.

what

I was gonna give it a five based on the fact that I had demanded to see Lyle being crass, but this just doesn't have the old magic. Why do 90% of strips have to end with someone going to write a book? That's the kind of idea Ray would get, not Lyle.

It's true what you point out. Seems like "go write a book" has become an Achewood "trope". One could argue it goes against that old "show, don't tell" principle.

The books-written are entertaining, though. A lesser entertainer would not be forgiven for these sorts of shenanigans!

one thousand flames exactaly.

Jerk. I was gonna say that.

Chubby I guess.

Same here. Except I probably would have spelled exactly right.

Lyle's official font is Baskerville Old Face. I'm not quite sure what that says about him.

And his logo is askew.

I don't think Lyle is burning bright, though.

I think he is more burning out.

And then the little fuck stole my burrito!

Really, Lyle is Gilgamesh and Todd is Enkidu.

Nah.

Lyle never went to Hell to get Todd back.

Nor did Gilgamesh go to Hell to Enkidu back...

Someone is hella mixing Near Eastern post-Inanna literature with the Greek rites of Orpheus. Faux pas!

Nice.
The Lyle Creation Myth in moving pictures.

Who can resist cute felines?

I can.
*kicks cat*

:(

What is that thing around your cat's neck? My sister keeps putting a similar Thing around my cat's neck, which angers me so.

Shit, man.

Fuck, dude.

I'd say something witty about rough chuckles, but I didn't even chuckle.

Bud! No! Don't do this! Bud! No! Bud! BUD!
*pop*
AAAUUUUGH! Shit! Oh god! Fuck!

Same time next asset?

Guys, I know he's an ass, but even just telling him that makes him happy in his three-sizes-too-small heart. Just ignore the troll.

I'm glad nobody's laming anybody for responding anymore. Really, either way it's handled, I think learning to live with him is just about the smartest thing to do. No little strategy has worked, and eh, I personally don't find one troll out of a lot of users to be that much of a problem. Ignore/Lame/Comment as you please, I don't think anything outside of his own interests changing is going to make AIU stop posting.

As a longtime troll, I can tell you, your vocalized resistance only makes his penis get harder.

My grammar may be off, but, in that last sentence are you not identifying yourself as a longtime troll with experience in penis hardening? Someone diagram that sentence for me.

Sentence one:[I(subj) can tell (verb) you (object) as a long time troll (adverbial phrase)]
that
sentence 2 your vocalized resistence (subject) makes (transitive verb) his weewee (object) get (verb, modifies object) harder (?).

No, he did not say that, grammatically. But pragmatically, yes, he did.

(I got a C in linguistics)

Autre is not a he, but rather a hot girl.

Which makes her experience in penis-hardening a bit more interesting.

Sorry I thought you were a guy, autrepoupee. You don't have to post pics to prove it. (unless you want to).

ty loneal, my experience comes from being an autre with an ultra (wang that is)

how do I know that the sentences that you are diagraming are equivalent to the sentence in question? It seems to me that they are not.

A sentence can have more than one sentence in it, believe it or not. If you say

"I know that you are a nice guy"
that is a sentence, but also "you are a nice guy" counts as a sentence as well.

yeah I know this, but, I'm saying, the component sentences you propose don't appear to be valid.

I think they are.
As a long time troll I can tell you that ("that" is optional) [secondary sentence]. You can just move the adverbial phrase, and add the THAT and it is an equivalent sentence.

Well since I wrote it, I guess I should explain how I meant for it to be translated.

When you make a big deal out of a troll, whether by loudly proclaiming at every instance "Don't feed the troll ok" or by saying "I'm playing along with your gimmick and I'm going to believe you are actually crazy and i am afraid pls mods do something", you're only making it funnier for them. Or, making their penis get harder. Same thing.

So it's best to just let nature take it's course.

Yeah, I understood that.

yeah but I'm more interested in this exercise in grammar than in what you meant.

also... did you just say in the previous post that you are a female with a penis?

Every damn one of these comments is in the guy's Inbox, including this one. Would you fine folks PLEASE just truly ignore the guy? I may advocate laming replies again if we can't do better than this.

I don't care if this is in his inbox, really.

That didn't work, though. He posted just as much then as he did before, as he does now. That's my point. Maybe it's time to just let it go entirely.

Actually, Onstad's got his engineers working on it, so hopefully the point will be moot sooner than later.

Either this is a joke or you are the wishiest of wishful thinkers.

looks like a scrunchie. and no kicking.

Okay . . I'm sorry.
But she likes being kicked! I swear!
For a 19 year old male I do kiss cats a lot more than I should, though.

Also, alreadyinuse, I don't think I like you. Perhaps you should either get a life or lose this one, because it just ain't working out for us.

Thanks.

As good of a burn as that was, the standard protocol is to ignore him in all his incarnations. I understand the alternative is tempting, so if you really feel like you must, go ahead and get it all out of your system now, but we'd all appreciate it if you not encourage him in the future.

Yeah, you're right. I didn't think that he would respond back, but he is that kind of troll. I won't feed him anymore. I'll just ignore on all his various incarnations.
But NOW do you guys believe that I'm not AIU in disguise?

Did until that last sentence.

ok, so if you're not aiu, then who are you? Your user name is not much of a name. No offense, it's just a jumble of letters. That's like Prince wanting to be called by a symbol which has no pronounciation in any language. Sje46 is also not pronouncable. Your avitar is also pretty jumbled. achilleselbow, for example, has an avitar that is of a dude. It evokes some kind of idea about the dude, sort of like a name evokes ideas about a person, or at least, ideas can be attached to a name as you get to know the person. Can ideas be attached to sje46? It's hard to say. It's certainly more difficult. Your avitar is kinda.. almost as random as snow on a TV. It doesn't have a face, it doesn't really express much in the way of ideas, except maybe the idea of being way far out there. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (there is something wrong with that)

His avatar has an origin within the comments of the last strip.

shoot man then what sort of image am i putting out there...

Pinesol is AIU. I'm calling it now.

... or his protege. Either way. Although he is infinitely more tolerable.

Quote:
Much as it makes me cringe, I have to defend Prince here.

His given name is Prince Rogers Nelson. Warner Brothers trademarked "Prince" and used it without Nelson's permission. He change his name to an unpronounceable symbol as a part of his legal battle with Warner Brothers.

As soon as he won the legal battle, he went back to calling himself "Prince."

So, as much as I think his music is 98% trite crap, I sympathize with his decision to refer to himself as Love Symbol #2 for a few years.

If I hold him in so much contempt, why do I know all this stuff about him? I tutored a kid for three years whose favorite artist was Prince, and I was inundated with information about him. The 2% of Prince's music that I don't think is worthless crap is Kama Sutra, an album that was never commercially released.

prince is The Man. virtually all his work is gold.

Quote:

I hate you.

Quote:
That's OK.

Yeah, they said he had to pay to use his own name, and he said "fuck you", changed his name to something graphic that couldn't be pronounced, and respectfully requested everyone refer to him by the moniker "the artist formerly known as Prince." That way, he still had benefit of the name without paying one red cent to the jack-boots, and when they got that they couldn't milk him, they settled for a token, and he legally changed his name back.

I don't know why I know this, so I don't gotta give an explanation.

My name is sean, and I cam a college student in New Hampshire.
Sje46 is not just random. I just have no creativity. It is my assigned email address at college. The S and the J are my first two initials (Sean and Joseph), but I never figured out what the last initial and numbers meant. And my avatar is a combination of my last one (which was Roast Beef falling when he got shot like the third time, by Cupepper, right?) and an image cpnglxynchos made regarding my being a woman. My old avatar was the default one with the weird looking woman, and I made a comment about how I had to change it because people thought I was a woman. Then cpn photoshopped the comic of Nice Pete tallying how womanly Lyle was being. When I tried to make that my new avatar, it didn't show well, so cpn made me this one. Thanks, cpnglyxynchos.

So . . .yeah.

*writes in a notepad* Uh huh, and your social security number?

002-79-6321

Why do you ask?

oh man guy you better hope you have LifeLock or else it's gonna be on

Or some guy better have it. That isn't mine, although the first few digits are the same.