Under the Hood.

Under the Hood. 12/02/2008 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Between panels five and six, Ray had a really hot idea.

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I beseech you, casual reader, one who scrolls not past the first few comments: Do not lame pogo for his crimes. His dog just died, as you would find out later in the thread. Show him some compassion and leave this reactionary comment unmolested.

FUCK THE BOURGEOISIE MAN

(sorry i get all antsy when i see words like reactionary sorry everyone i'll just be quiet)

That is...that is exacty on point.

Nothing in this first thread is on point. That is the point.

But in the spirit of the last strip's description of Ray by things he probably does ...

[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate wears a nice argyle sweater, a pea coat and a red scarf on romantic winter walks, but his frequent pratfalls seem exaggerated and almost calculated.

[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman goes to nursing homes and tells the residents his fictional accounts of his World War II childhood.

[IMGS OFF]
pogo live-blogs antiques conventions and hopes to turn his posts into a wry novel called Antiquery: A Year Among the Midwest's Mustiest Treasures.

[IMGS OFF]
stereo spends $145 a year to subscribe to Cat Fancy ironically, but refuses to donate a dollar to children's charities at the gas station because he worries about excessive administrative costs.

[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet takes on a stilted Sub-Saharan accent when in Europe.

[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero showers at around 3:30 pm and then microwaves something.

[IMGS OFF]
achilleselbow had a special tool fabricated of the perfect proportions and density for destroying children's sand castles.

[IMGS OFF]
eatemorekix sits cross-legged on the floor while she scrapbooks.

[IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth always inquires whether he may bring a dish to a dinner party, and that dish is inevitably spiced with thyme from his own garden, although no one ever recalls asking him about it.

[IMGS OFF]
gladi8orrex smiles and nods at everyone on the street, then averts his glance in annoyance if anyone responds.

Yeah, I know. The sadness fills me completely. I shall now go scowl at something so hard that it is reduced to ashes.

[IMGS OFF] dangelder is being excluded

I saw Danger Gelder. Damn fantasy novels.

I saw vicious Norsemen being paid off to avoid them sacking, raping, and pillaging any more.

They should just do it anyway.

Not a good business strategy. They realized that protection money was a lot better gig than pillaging and they already had a fearsome reputation to make it work.

Like the Mafia with silly hats.

Uhm, you are aware that the horned helmets are entirely an invention of Wagner are you not?

They actually wore fairly normal helms for the times.

Do not get involved in the SCA unless violence, pedantry, drinking are concerns of yours.

Quote:

Do not get involved in the SCA

You...you should've just ended it there.

Well, yes, but there is a lot of opportunity to drink people's home brew and hit people quite a lot.

Whoa what.

Awesome.

Also I believe your assessment of i_love_kate in particular is probably spot-on.

Do more!

We beseech thee.

Hear us!
Wait, was that seriously a Godspell reference?

i believe it to be just that. and here i was, thinking {hoping} i would never have to hear that jesus-freak bible thumping tent revival music again, and now i am singing that annoying but very catchy song.

Oops, I was trying to quote the Spinal Tap episode of The Simpsons: We beseech thee, our half-inflated Dark Lord.

I love that episode.

And now I'm gonna slow things down a bit...

"If I leave here tommorrrrroooowwww..."

aaaaand I just remembered that's not the quote at all. I'm going to bed now.

You rmembered the funny part.

I was hoping that others would follow this with similar descriptions of other regulars ... I just picked the first ones that came to mind, and I acknowledge the many glaring omissions.

[IMGS OFF]saulbellow hides behind his suave and well liked avatar and his humorous and often image based internet comments to conceal his tortured soul. On the other side of every well planned out joke that we all titter at in class/at work/on the toilet is a man who has not left his room in the past three years, has an endless well of links to mine, and a long neglected hamster.

Ouch.

Rough chuckles there, Saul.

I call 'em as I see 'em. Don't want to detract from the man though. We live as we see fit.

[IMGS OFF]DR_MANFLESH_DESIRES_ANAL_PLAY_IMMEDIATELY is a soft-spoken funeral home owner who is well recommended in his community for his genuine concern and attention to detail. He takes a snifter of brandy at the end of each day and has regular appointments at the groomer for his Coton de Tul�ar who is called Papillon.

Wish I could remember the basic way to do what you did, embedding a picture, which I know I did before once, it's so musty in my head sometimes. (Like my new/old face?) Thanks for "doing" me.

I lie your new avataricon. :)
I'm glad someone did you too!
No one has every done me.
:(
Also, [img ]www.example.jpg[/img]
You must delete the space, however.

Thanks, as the oldest guy here, I thought Larry King was a good face to put on. Besides, I'm a journalist, too.

Anyway, I know the BBcode for an image, but it's all the bother of putting it somewhere on the innernet.

Yes, do me! Do me!

He screamed.

I just saw a pizza box in the kitchen

"WE DELIVER
FAST AND HOT!"

My first thoughts were that this was a line being used by a pair of sexy, slutty twins trying to talk themselves up.

Mine was wrong, that was only one time, this time I was working on a project.

Yeah, your description actually better describes me.

Yours better described me than mine, unfortunately. I tend to challenge the winter weather with as few layers as possible, so I probably wouldn't wear a sweater even if I owned one. Plus I seldom walk for pleasure.

Falling over in order to lighten a mood is something that I must admit to having done in the past, though.

I feel like I know you less than I know the other Assetbarbarians, ilovekate. Maybe it's because you post a lot less since I came on.

In my awkward years (Sophomore year of high school), I tended to wear up to five or six layers at once, three during the summer. And I love long walks by myself.

I do post less. This is saddening. I've been trying harder recently, though. It's the jerks, mainly. Back in the day, the line between the mildly caustic and the genuine troll was so clear to me. Now, there is confusion. There is contention, and drama. I just don't enjoy it as much.

It is a complicated place. I kind of think it's more interesting that way, though.

Why there have to be so much drama in the ASB?

I see what you mean. It is hard to tell who is a troll or not. I wonder if there are people who still think I'm one. I probably have the highest lame-to-chubby ratio out of everyone with a post count over 1000.

It comes and goes, this Assetbar fixation, like love, like heroin, it calls me back.

I miss lachatbotte.

Hi everyone! I missed ya' guys! You are all beautiful snowflakes with equally valid opinions!

(Meow! I'm a cat!)

HAI DADDY!!!!!!
<33<3<3<3

I think I have the ability to call upon any Assetbarbarian, no matter how long it's been since they've posted.
But with great power comes great etc.

Quote:

I think I have the ability to call upon any Assetbarbarian

Only those who search for their name.

Quote:

I think I have the ability to call upon any Assetbarbarian

Let's test that out. What's Dr. Skradley been up to lately?

Dr. Skradley, appear!

miaou! Je suis un chat!

Vous avez notre attention.

You fool! Tha'ts just what he wanted!

Crap!

The wily francophone has tangled me in his web.

I apologize, to all of you, for the apocalypse I have triggered.

Wait, wait.

No, really, that wasn't me! I don't even speak German!

Lack of attention to cats lead to cats exiling to the moon. Is that what you want saulbellow? [b]Is THAT what you want?[b]

Lack of attention to cats lead to cats messing up their BBCode. Is that what you want saulbellow? Is THAT what you want??

So are you the real LeChatteBotte in reincarnation form, or are you just some weird other guy?

Can't it be both?

Oh, I thought he was Milk Bot, not Cat Bot.

It was actually LeChatBotte, I think. But either way, it wasn't milk. And that's lait anyways, if we're going with french, isn't it?

Yeah, but if we misinterpret both the words and the language we could end up with leche. I took Latin though so dealing with any other Romance language is a lot of fumbling around. It's like middle school make outs. Or so I assume they might be if I had actually ever had any. Or even high school make outs.

Aw, begland, how can I help you in the form of makeouts?

You could buy him giftmas presents, so he can make-out like a bandit this year.

That would be very nice, but I have a girlfriend for makeouts now. Perhaps you could transfer the makeouts to her. That would probably work pretty well. I do not want to push though. This has already gotten pretty thoroughly creepy.

I do appreciate the desire to help, but, as far as basic makeouts are concerned, I no longer have a problem here. Maybe if there was a way to convince girls to desire to have makeouts with me in the past that would nice. But I do not think we currently have that technology and I'd also be pretty jealous of past-me which would cause further problems.

Good eye!
Didn't even catch that.

When I bring back people they are not quite the same. They are different in small, creepy ways.

The jerks these days, I no like'a them so much. Maybe I change, maybe they change. Who knows?

I used to like jerks. Mow, not so much.

I switch it up: sometimes I microwave and don't shower, other times I shower but eat the dinner cold

3:30 is about right tho

Are you saying I'm Pat, because that is pretty much true.

Sand castles are an entirely irresponsible use of natural resources that reinforce an oppressive authoritarian cultural mindset. After I destroy the castle, I always provide the children with an illustrated pamphlet showing them how to build a sand bicycle co-op or a sand organic smoothie stand.

[IMGS OFF]

The great thing is, it is not much of a stretch to imagine you destroying children's dreams with a precisely calibrated tool.

You're a precisely calibrated tool.

I am closer to a stone hammer.

As a dense, blunt tool you nevertheless see far more use for basic pounding than a refined, precise instrument well-engineered and specified for only a much narrower range of tasks. Each of which is over quickly and easily as if it never even existed due to the care and craftsmanship put into it.

That stone hammer will see constant use. Even for unorthodox and ill-advised maneuvers it was not originally designed for.

Man, I want to buy you a pizza now. What a nice thing to say Belgand, thank you.

Well, it's just the way of things. The hammer and screwdriver are simple tools, but you'll use them far more often than any fancy, well-designed tool. A hammer is always great for whenever you just want to pound on something and that screwdriver is likely coming out for all sorts of prying that it wasn't designed for simply because it's there and it'll work.

This is the secret of your sexual success and the reason for our failure.

This has been the greatest analogy in the past three years. I am showing my coworkers, it is a success.

Really though, I'm probably going to ctrl c, ctrl v this into notepad, then alt r.

Also I know this could be taken in a way of you calling me a cheap whore, easy and willing.

But really, I'm just a product. As long as she's smiling I'm happy.

I know this, I accept this, and I use it to my favor.

Now I need to take a vacation. Pizzaria w/ Belgand.

I know an excellent deep dish place. The cheese... there is just so much of it! Even as a dedicated thin crust sort of person I can get behind it.

My vacation hours refresh after the new year, when is a good time?

Not certain, we're hopefully moving at the end of the month. Otherwise I've been looking for a job for a long time so I am always available.

I would not generally consider me a fun enough person to spend vacation time on though. Unless sitting around all night playing Super Smash Bros. and eating taquitos is considered to be a good time. As I've said before, I don't drink, so uh... I am not up on the main things people do to "go out". If there is concert, then yes, much fun will be had, but otherwise? No idea.

Dude, Smash Bros. is the definition of a good time.

I think they are the bees knees. I have spent entire days throwing my roommates off the screen. Why is this game not a national pastime? We should have TV stations devoted to Melee and Brawl, much as the South Koreans do Starcraft.

As are taquitos.

Well then. Everyone is invited to my place for taquitos and Smash Bros. Perhaps some Rock Band or Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix as well although I need a second PS3 controller.

Why do I not know people such as this locally? How would I meet them? My current friends are usually just too busy all the time to hang out and when you only know two people that brings things down pretty quickly.

post fliers?

I'll play Rock Band, but only if you promise I don't have to play drums. And I will provide the taquitos, as long as everyone is down with chicken.

Chicken is totally fine. If people were down for such a thing I might just make a huge batch of delicious chicken enchiladas.

Damn. We need to have the Achewood Meetup. One of the days we could take CalTrain down to Palo Alto and, uhm, well, I've never been there, but I'm sure there is something to be done that would be Achewoody. Something better than sleeping in while I make some deliciously gooey cinnamon rolls.

WE SHOULD BREAK INTO ONSTAD'S HOUSE

(no no no)

TOO LATE.

Shit, no going back now *smash*

Hey will you sign this OH GOD MACE OH GOD OH GOD

I love chicken taquitos, and I love the drums. This is maybe working out.

FUCK THAT FOOT PEDAL THOUGH.

Maybe I can get SJE to be my drum groupie, he can footpedal for me.

I don't use my foot to play the foot pedal

You use your hands?

This is turning into an actual thing. This is turning into the most actual thing of things that must be actualized.

I need to get drums still. I will have them in time.

Right now we all still seem to be kind of half-joking about it. I think this is because as much as we may want it to happen, many of us don't have jobs (at least not well-paying ones), and would probably feel strange about flying across the country to hang out with people from the Internet.

At least that is what I am surmising. Personally, I would actually be willing to shell out for a plane ticket, but probably not for a hotel. I don't know how many other people feel this way. I do remember that Southwest meetup that Tekende and others tried to organize didn't happen, so I'm not too optimistic.

I went to at least one meetup for an Internet community (Everything2) but that was held locally. People flew in and others drove a significant distance to attend. There were a lot of them though and the community there was pretty interested in having meets.

You totally have a point though. Most of us are either students or in that post-student "I don't have any damn money" phase. If not I suspect that we have money, but not time and we're probably not in the habit of doing that sort of thing due to family and other commitments.

It's really just a shame that we're all so spread out. I think of us regulars there are maybe only two or three of us in each reasonably drivable region.

Otherwise I would totally be up for hosting. You guys just need to live closer to Achewood.

I have money, but I don't know where you live so I don't know if this idea is at all feasible for me.

He lives in Gayville. Pay attention.

Yeah, I basically never shut up about it. I just signed the lease for a new place in the Haight. While not party central I would be interested in making it an important local connecting stop with agreements with regional party providers.

How many people could you fit in your place though? Like, even if everyone crashed on the floor? I'm thinking that if at least like five of the regular posters showed up, it could be a Thing, but preferably it would be somewhere around eight or ten to make it worth the trip.

Anyway, we should talk about this again in a few months. Daedala mentioned that she might be relocating, and I might possibly be as well, so we'll see where everyone ends up.

and zapatos needs to plan ahead for time off from his job.

Quote:

He lives in Gayville.

Quote:

How many people could you fit in your place though?

*snicker*

Hmm... I'm moving so I don't have a great idea, but it's a two bedroom place and one of the rooms will be used as a computer room with some storage so there should be plenty of space.

At some point it might be wise to inform the girlfriend that I have invited the Internet to come stay with us for a while.

I think there would be room for about eight or ten though. Or you could experience local culture and go sleep in the park. It's only two blocks away.

"Hey babe I invited some friends over for the next week, is that cool?"

"Yeah... who are they?"

TEH INTERWEBZ

"Oh shit dudes, 4Chan just did something in the kitchen that... oh god... that is just unholy. No more, well, no more anything for 4Chan, OK?"

"Yes, lolcat, I know you're "in my bathroomz", but other people need to use it!"

My new place actually has a second toilet in a small room containing nothing else just next to the bathroom. I find it odd that it's not en suite with the master bedroom, but that's the way it's built. I used to have an en suite half bath at a previous apartment and it was very useful, but it was a full half, this is just a toilet room.

A quarter bath?

If you want to bath your hindquarters in a toilet, then I suppose you could call it that.

Quote:

I went to at least one meetup for an Internet community (Everything2)

Hey, I love reding that site! Were the people rad? Was much fun being had by all? Was it awkward meeting anonymous internet people?

*Ahem* reading*

RE-DING!

It was quite awesome. Pseudo_Intellectual is a very interesting bearded young man of the type you might have assumed. He is definitely Canadian. RoninSpoon has great stories and is very imposing. He is a man who you do not want to displease. OrangeJulius had a taste for Cape Cods. We discussed how the Rolling Stones were indeed awesome.

It was a great time to be had by all. I got a bit screwed up and missed bits though like the trip to a local playground for early morning fun.

It was, basically, not at all awkward. Kind of like going to a party and meeting all the friends of friends that you've heard about, but never quite met. In person they are more awesome than you had even imagined they might be.

I am far less awesome in person, but that's to be expected.

I doubt it. You are likely radical to the max.

What I am trying to say is that my Internet persona is so awesome that there is no way any real-life personality could measure up. It was both self-deprecating and shamelessly self-congratulatory at the same time.

I am not joking at all, and I would probably buy 1 (one) fine chica a plane ticket. I am also not down with a hotel room, I would hope Belgand had a place for us to sleep. At least a tent in the backyard.

No joking, it is a Thing.

and then I read the next comment. Awesome.

Discussions will happen. This should be tabled until at least the new year. It seems that both Zapatos and Elbox are on board. Others may also come. We will need to work at this, but Aching Wood 2: Electro-Gonorrhea will be made to happen. Or maybe just AcheFest or something.

Begin Operation: Motha Fuckin' Party Truck

Damn man that sounds totally awesome but I will have to eat prior to coming over because I do not like taquitos.

TEKENDE, I will bring you a falafel, or whatever food it is that you enjoy.

I will pour you a mean bowl of cereal.

Are you also against enchiladas? And nachos? Will you not stay until the morning when we have homemade cinnamon rolls so gooey that even a group of tween girls watching New Kids On the Block circa 1991 would have to concede defeat?

Enchiladas and nachos are supremely awesome foods.

Indeed. I spent about 20 hrs/week playing the original in college with friends.

Still, it feels a bit like you're just hanging around the house and not having proper fun. I worry about that sometimes. I mean, if that is all we ever do whenever we hang out it seems like maybe it is not such a great thing.

Man that sounds like a good time to me. I drink heavily though, so... maybe you could order a soda and watch my antics?

I spent a great deal of time doing that as well. I enjoy bars, but not drinking. Is great conundrum.

Nah man, bartenders love it when you drink soda. Until they realize you aren't a DD.

"come on, if you're gonna order soda I'm gonna have to see your drivers license and car keys"

Well, for most of the time I did so I was since I was the one who both did not drink and owned a car. Worked out well. Also we knew the bartender and much of the staff fairly well. I think I have related this story before, but Dave, he was on The Amazing Race one season (I do not watch reality shows and when I found out it was coming into the bar and being like "Dude, why is Dave is TV?!?") worked there and we usually went when he was tending bar and would sit around watching, often, Dog the Bounty Hunter (I cannot be held accountable for his poor choices in television).

I would still be able to pull that here, but everyone just takes public transit so not really any designated drivers.

In other news, I am all for a meeting of British-type Assetbaristas. Come on, guys. We'll find out who has Brawl and then the rest of us will concoct a quasi-Mexican foodstuff and grab the cheapest coach to Greater Shagging or wherever. Easy as.

The problem is that while being an island is a bit of a problem you are still in much greater proximity. We live in a terribly, horribly large country that takes about a week to drive all the way across.

I suspect that Zapatos will be providing the Greater Shagging.

Seriously, dude has more shag than wood-paneled rumpus room.

I think Loneal already hung out with all the British Asstebarians individually. If you missed it, that's just your fault.

Pat's an asshole, you look more like a dick to me.

I'm the little guy that tags along hoping to be one of the gang.
"hey guys, what about me? Can I hang with you?"

11 names dropped
11 chubbies
internet math

16 chubbies my good sir.

And just as quickly, steev_dayv's own comment became obsolete and inconsequential.

When I read your comment, you had three chubbies. That is 11 in binary.

I heard that motherfucker had, like, 3 goddamned chubbies.

Two chubbies on the vine.

Cor-neil-i-us, Cor-neil-i-us... he threw a knife into heaven and can kill with a stare.

also... so divine

He'll save children but not Ray's children
He'll save children but not Ray's children
He'll save children but not Ray's children
He'll save children but not Ray's children

DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG

Had a pocket full of horses, fucked the shit out of bears.

Ketel One and Hypercolor in his perfect hands

DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG DUG

Are worth one in the hand?

They could be but that's not what I was referencing.

He once held an opponent's wife's hand . ..in a jar of acid . .. during a party.

Wh...where's the chubby reference?

Or rather Achewood reference.

There is none.
I refuse to bow down to your forced memes.

sje46 is now a meme. Discuss.

Oh the delicious irony! Hey guys! SJE SJE SJE
I WAS ALL SJE...SJE...SJE...SJE...

Awesome meme is awesome.

All for you, man.

Oh man I was acting like a 5 year old otter today, I was all SJE...SJE...SJE...

At first I was like Bary, then I was like SJE...SJE...SJE

Cheeky fucker.

Don't speak to me like that. I am a meme now. I deserve respect, just like Milhouse. [IMGS OFF]

Pfah!

Fie!

BAH!

daawwwwwww comere milhouse

sje, did you know i really like you?

*clasps hands together, staring at feet
*

Really?
:)
heeheehee

you didn't cry this time! good job!

Give it time...

Some ladies like the innocent seeming boys. They wish to corrupt them and take great delight in watching them blush and squirm at their lascivious advances.

I think I blush and squirm at any sort of advances, I'd be an easy mark.

Hey, what's up. You like batman? I like batman. I'd like you to come over and watch batman with me.

And afterwards perhaps some amateur spelunking to find a new Bat-Cave?

Are you coming on to me?

take "to" out, and we'll have some fun.

No, I was planning on coming into you.

oh HELL yea, the main assetdudes are gayin' it up in this place!

WHO WANTS TO GET THEIR GAY ON???
A: Belgand. Belgand does.

*sits in the corner and watches*

I literally am having trouble not laughing.

I will not be getting my gay on nor do I have a pressing desire to do so.

I do find it interesting that you would interested in watching such an event. I do not know that many ladies who are into man on man, especially compared to men's typical interest in the opposite.

I am also very flattered that anyone would have an interest in viewing me in a positive manner. I have the insecurities like a failing bank.

Hmm, from what I have been given to understand many ladies are into dude-on-dude action. It is not necessarily as pronounced a desire as men's for lesbian stuff, but it's there.

Maybe I am wrong. If so I'm sure loneal or heccibiggs will inform us.

Do you think it is okay for a man to give another man kisses?

i agree that it is worth a one-time charge of $4.99 to witness such an event.

Remember we were talking about attnetion seeking sluts at parties? I'm kind of like that.

i was at this concert once (Taste of Chaos tour to be exact, i was young and liked silly music), and the singer from The Used got onstage with the singer from My Chemical Romance right after their last song and he walked up to him and they STARTED MAKING OUT OMIGAWD IT WAS SO HOT.

i am sorry if i like boys who wear makeup and look like girls and have makeouts with each other. it's kind of my Thing. not that i take it seriously. i mean, guys don't usually take things they find hot seriously either, do they.

Gerard Way is probably gay anyway, I don't know about Bert from The Used though.

I approve of that activity and wish that I had been able to view it as well.

ladies ladies ladies, do I have a show for you.

Well I don't. Sorry.

Tease.

Phillip, I need to send you some files. I am feeling guilty about not teasing you enough.

And you should. Both the guilty part and the files part.

don't worry, i'll have something for you soon...

That might make you a lesbian.

I am a pretty girl.

I marched twice after Prop 8 passed even though I am not gay myself and I oppose marriage and any government involvement in marriage.

A very good friend of mine is gay.

I have no issue with it, but I do not desire to do it myself. It is like Stone Temple Pilots. I have no desire to listen to them myself, but I don't care one way or the other if other people choose to do so.

Stone Temple Pilots: Just Like Being Gay

Stone Temple Pilots are the gateway drug to buttsecks.

Yes!

I like you too, and will try to parse your name:
Some Jewish Einstein
Sam Joseph Engleberg
Sasha Jupiter English
Sidney Jo Eastman
Am I getting warm?

One of the names is correct. However I have posted my first and middle names a few times already.

Samuel Jebediah Enderngaard

Joey Jo-Jo Jr. Shabadoo

No, no, what?

koo koo ka choo!

googoogajoob

That's the most awful name I've ever heard.

*man runs out crying*

Joey Jo-Jo! Come back!

Is it... Sean Jeez Everybody (Go and Check the Damn Facebook Group Already)?

That would require using Facebook. I cannot allow that.

You are correct with the first name. But my middle name is not Jeez, and my last name certainly isn't Everybody (Go and Check the Damn Facebook Group Already)

But I think 46 stands for "for sex". Can't think of a synonym for 'desperate' beginning with a E though.

The E and 46 mean nothing.

they mean everything

yelled beef to the chicken

Said the panda bear...on the thing...?

It's true.

Congratulations! you have described all one needs to know about the community that is worth knowing. If this was a message board it would get a sticky, but, since it is an assetbar, it gets a chubby. It's like a sticky, but without the follow-through.

I decided I will write an epic featuring all the Assetbar regulars.

Also, spiny hasn't posted in mad long.

Hmm, hope spiney didn't get his drunken hed stomped in an alley for deconstructing Sartre at the wrong bar.

Not in an alley, no.

Was it a small park? An apse? The doorway leading up to a second-floor walk-up flat of ill repute or Asian "massage" parlor?

In.....the Conservatory with a lead shank by Mr. Todd?

In Montparnasse Cemetary by any chance? If so I believe my wife may have kicked you while you were down. I apologize for her action and my discourtesy in not helping you to stand again. Though I don't bring it up at dinner, we disagree about Sartre as a matter of course. She loves him, I think he wrote volumes and volumes without ever proving anything. I will endeavor to bring it up in private conversation more often to get her accustomed to the idea that others disagree about Sartre. I'm sorry it is too late to save you from your fate.

I shall attempt to stab you in a disaffected beachfront murder even though I will be doing it because I disagree with your opinion on Sartre.

Ah, why even bother? I shall go be disaffected at the cafe instead.

cameos from drmanflashneedsanalplayimmediately and asherdan?

They will be the villains.

Sort of a Megabyte and Hexadecimal thing. Oh god I hope other people have seen that show.

"when bob went face to face to face to face to face to face with hexadecimal his chances for survival went from small to infinitesimal!"

V-chub!

That's fucking awesome.

It shaped me.
I have many angles and a pop art dog.

And a bizarrely deep and metaphysical attitude to AI

Who the fuck hasn't? Much better when Andrea grows up. And the kid, he turned mega badass gunslinger.

Retardo shows up as that guy who's in every long work of fiction who you think is the villain until they get whacked like 50 pages in by the real villain.

The red herring. I will be the fish monger on the street that is described briefly only to serve as a metaphor for some larger point in the story.

a commie fish monger perhaps to truly make you a 'red' herring?

If I have ever displayed communist tendencies then SURE. But I'm not the red herring, I'm the metaphor. I'm like the pig head on the stick.

Oh yes oh heck yes.

The real plot twist, though, is when it turns out the protagonists best friend was one of AIU's alt accounts the whole time.

(Shh! Be quiet!)

Oh definitely. Asherdan will be one of the villains, and I will feature a scene where he squishes a cat under a boot. There will also be an epic battle against TOUAMB. I am unsure about the doctor. Perhaps I will write him as a wiseman sitting on top of a hill who speaks in enigmas, and is a controversial figure of sorts.

I am undecided on gladi8orrex.

gladi8orrex is a scribe. A translator of sorts.

Hmm. Not bad.

I want to start working on this. I am serious. As serious as I was with NaNoWriMo.

DUDE WHO WOULD BE THE PROTAGONIST

Spinynorman? He's a bit of an everyman, I think.

I was thinking I would be the protagonist but maybe it would be better if I was the plucky sidekick instead.

Oh man you are the plucky sidekick in your own fanfiction.

That is like eleven kinds of sad and one kind of stinky.

it is also one kind of badass, the awesome kind.

so it's never going to get done?

Probably not. Probbly won't be good if I write it anyway.

isn't it drmanflashndesiresanalplayimmediately?

I'm a dick. :(

I still adore you!

A million v-chubs for your status.

Can I be some dude, just standing there for a few minutes before getting killed in crossfire between the Antagonist and the Progtagonist?

The progtagonist has to be someone who likes prog rock.

I like the Alan Parsons Project. Does that count?

wasn't that a 'laser' stationed on the moon?

NO AUSTIN POWERS REFERENCE, PLEASE.

And it was on Moon Unit Zappa, I believe.

I shall reference whatever I please, for I cannot spell eloquant.

Quote:

Alan Parsons Project

Did you see their cameo in "Oh Lucky Man"? Brilliant. Best concept/studio band ever.

Oh Lucky Man?

Wow, I am curious how many other Assetbarians have even heard of that film, much less seen it.

And no, I don't remember the Alan Parsons cameo.

O Lucky Man is excellent. Hope you've seen If as well. I haven't seen Brittania Hospital.

Was Parsons in Alan Price's band then? I loved they way they did those musical numbers I've never seen anything like that movie. It fucking rules.

Quote:

Was Parsons in Alan Price's band then?

Maybe I got my Allens mixed up - great use of music and band, anyway.

Nope, never heard of it.

I love prog rock. Be it classic Rush or King Crimson on up to Coheed and Cambria I am totally your man for prog.

I see myself more as someone who knows the correct answers to the mysteries at the center of the plot and I tell the protagonist early on, but I am ignored in the rush of things.

I would like to join the progtagonist and lay down some truly fat prog bass lines, but I'm not quite that skilled yet. Actually, being a bassist is also a really great way to be completely ignored despite making valuable contributions that are ultimately correct. It's also a great way to be a lazy dick who just plays the root (and maybe the 5th if you're feeling fancy) of the guitar chords in straight eighths.

This now needs to be a prog rock epic. I can think of no better way to convey what needs to be done here.

I know nothing about music.
Keep in mind, however, that the progtagonist is not the protagonist. I am still deciding on the pro.

chubbied like an apocalypse in 9/8.

I love me some Coheed, they are so great. I did not like them at first. My roomate was all, "you will like this band! 'what did iiii do to deseeeerve...'"

Yeah Scott no, you suck and this sucks and fuck you.

Now however, it is different. He still sucks though.

Your mom got a sticky from me last night.

lucky lady

wow... reading the last sentence of that makes me want to bathe for some reason

YES!

I will prove this exactly correct once I get a passport.

Saul, you are insane with awesome.

I feel so left out.. do me!

This is what I'm always saying to the ladies but they do not listen.

The ladies, they are not likink such desperation. The ladies, they require passion and confidence!

but still in the end they do not like him

Beat me to it. Notorious.

[IMGS OFF]

But They Still Stay With Him For His Money!

It's been a while Doc, good to see you

Where did you go?

Some guys like Chance
Some guys dig Community Chest
I been with chicks in both locales
They all say that I'd take 2nd prize in a beauty contest

Fucking BEAUTIFUL.

Paperboy 2000 is really one of the unsung heroes of AssetBar.

I keep remembering that and then forgetting it again. Keeps it interesting.

Well, rap isn't exactly singing, but I'd say we can now call him at least the vocally syncopated hero of AssetBar.

Quote:

Paperboy 2000 is really one of the unsung heroes of AssetBar.

Agreed. No offense to those "popular choices" (heccibiggs, tekende, spinynorman, et al), but if I ever actually gave a shit and thought about who my favorite assetbar posters are, paperboy would be in the top 3, at the very least.

Chubbies: 1814
Lames: 29.

That's just impressive.

He must have never said anything mean to anyone ever. Normally I'd think that was boring. In his case it's just beautiful.

He only mad elike 300 comments too. I made 2367. And I have almost no chubbies because I never have anythingcool or clever to say and people hate my opinions anyway. I just come on here and post and post because I have nothing better to do with my miserable life.

Dude, just...just stop. Don't be blue. It don't suit you.

Sorry. Forgot to take my SSRIs.

I'm better now.
And embarrassed.
(I don't actually take medication)

SSRIs have a tendency to take away your sex drive. Not for everyone, but for lots of people, men and women.

I mention this because the subject of virginity came up earlier, and a reduced sex drive can make such a condition easier to bear.

Not that I would know anything about that myself, of course.

I know about the sex drive thing.

And I have realized that this is a huge advantage for me.
=)

Yup, yup. V-chubs.

Aw, shucks, I am just glad I am amusing someone besides myself with my posts.

YES.

Thank you for this.

dangit why can't I be among god's chosen???

The Garden is Lonely.

Is your avatar actually you?

Yes. But mine isn't anymore.

And I thought I knew a celebrity :(

I will have you address all questions through my secretary pogo. Now...

for one of those shitty blowjobs...

wow, someone else read 'the lesson is learned but the damage is irreversible'? wow

I was always partial to the special fire that instead of burning things to ashes burned them to reptiles.

It is indeed the greatest. The reptile fire was a favourite as well. I enjoyed it on par with this comic.

A lesson was learned, but it is that it is gone and shall never return and there is nothing that can ever hope to reverse that damage.

And now, in accordance with what I feel his final wishes might well have been, you will be shown all of the pornography on Woodenteeth's computer.

Please follow this link to the porno.

Hah. Referency.

That was both my first strip and one of my favorites. It's tough though as they were all amazing.

A Lesson Is Learned, The Parking Lot is Full, Perry Bible Fellowship... these were some of the greats. They will be missed.

I'm also feeling a bit of self-satisfaction that I managed to work in another reference in there on top of the original one.

I share the satisfaction. It's not referenced nearly enough... in so far as that it will interest people and possibly send them to check it out.

I own the printed Parking Lot... and they just re-released all the really old ones. I have them on my coffee table. A Lesson Is Learned probably won't ever be surpassed. And poor PBF. It was great and then the poor artist self-imploded. Even after the Throbblefoot Aquarium comic (i.e. The Princess was summoned, to search the lake).

It was one of my favorites. I have to wonder what his new projects are.

Do you know Pogo though?

Eh?

Great avatar synergy.

I would imagine such a tool as being like a narrow spade, save with a bulbous head. A tool looking much like a penis of wrought iron, perhaps with a handy fiberglass handle

you are so wrong about me. so wrong.

eatmorekix actually lounges on a beanbag chair or lies on her stomach while scrapbooking. No leg-crossing is involved.

scrapbooking implies impressive organizational skills, and sitting crosslegged implies good posture. i have neither.

And reasonably thin legs! Don't forget that!

Scrapbooking implies that you are a terrible person. It is not an activity, it is not something that can be verbed, and scrapbooks never, ever need to be made for any possible reason.

I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur!

[IMGS OFF] fuckyoufriday no longer has a job that involves wasting time on assetbar. :(

Bummer, dude. But how about at home?

Fuckyoufriday has no home.

Wow, fyf, your avatar looks a lot better when it's not being stretched beyond its limits by assetbar...

DON'T SAY IT. DO NOT SAY IT.

That's what she said!

Holy fuck I just realized this post ACTUALLY KNOWS WHEN WE CHANGE OUT AVICONS AND CHANGES ACCORDINGLY.

I didn't chubby this the first time but I am now.

That's right, little buddy. The post will track you for all of your remaining days (9) on this earth.

Achewoods Finest.

what about words like revolutionary, coup de'tat, political dissent, and CHE

Well, those usually end up way too far away from what they're responding to for anyone to make anything out of them.

FUCK YEAH FIESTA ACE DICK

SEPULCHERTUDE!

...Fiesta Ace Dick truffle shuffle icon!
That...is awesome.

FUCKYOOOOOOO

Okay, this post is destined to sit several hundred posts below where it was intended. May cause confusion.
Solution?
For those uncertain as to whom the previous post concerns, I offer that it is you, dear reader.

Lil John says Fuck me? FUCK ME? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU SO HARD!

Fuck you Two Times!

Fuck you twice today!
Fuck you two times, girl
I'm goin away
Fuck you two times
One for tomorrow
One just for today

She said, "Please, do it again, studman steev!"

..'cos the next time you see her she'll be like 'OOH, KEVIN G!'

I bow down to your reference from a rap song from Mean Girls.

That was a good movie, and not only becuase I am attracted to females.

Tina Fey got her fingers on the pulse of high-school.

tru'nuff.

And she announced that our culture is dead.

and now would you please join me in a reading from The Goat.

NO!
NO!
NO FUTURE!
NO FUTURE!
NO FUTURE FOR ANYONE!

future is one of those words that looks wrong when viewed en masse.

According to "I'm With the Band" at least Jim Morrison was kind of a massive dick. That is, not thinking merely of the fact that he was in possession of one.

That doesn't exactly surprise me.

Yeah, I don't think it surprises anyone. Far more interesting was learning that Jimmy Page was into whipping and carried a selection of flogging equipment around with him in his suitcase.

Fuck you twice today!
Fuck you two times, girl
I'm goin away
Fuck you two times
One for tomorrow
One just for today

The irony in this double post is delectable.

GODDAMMIT DOGG.

Out of 21 lames on this comment, only two of these people are people that I can remember having heard of. Who are these mysterious 19 strangers that lurk in the shadows solely to lame first comments?

...The machine elves.

They have no souls, and very likely do not exist in our mortal plane. They are whispering spirits who never had a body to lose. They are omnipresent and nonexistent at once -- machinations of pure hate.

They galivant about our world, seeking hatred or offense. If anyone, anywhere, finds something offensive or lame, the machine elves swoop in and latch onto it -- screeching "LAAAME! LAAAAAME!" with ghoulish falsettos.

And they make horrible toys with their cringled hands. But these crude toys were defecated upon and hurled at enemies. It wasn't a holy jolly christmas that year, for many died.

bloooood?

Nice hair, Ray.

It was the early Nineties, we all made mistakes.

Yours was colouring outside the lines.

Actually, I had a terrible haircut too.

However, I was three and gave myself the haircut, so I don't know if that makes a difference.

I have pretty much an afro now. I need a haircut.

I mean, I don't want to look like an actor from Zoey 101 or something.

I had to google 'Zoey 101', and now I would like that five seconds of my life back please.

But now I am looking at the wikipedia page and apparently in the third season one of the characters is diagnosed with Obsessive Male Gender Disorder (OMGD) which I guess it supposed to be funny and kind of is but not in the way it was meant to be.

You have never seen the show, and I would advise against it.
Terrible acting.

I hate disney/nick/theN/whatever brainwashing channel it is.

Plus, doesn't star a Spears?

Though that can't be right, that little Spears was recently impregnated, and The N generally frowns upon the moral lessons that implies.

I don't know. I find my sister watching Degrassi, and every time someone is getting raped, shot, crippled, impregnated, aborted, gay-bashed, or what have you. And there is always a B plot about cheating boy friends or some catty bitch calling another catty bitch ugly or whatever.

Also, look at Spears family history. Lil' Spears has quite a legacy to live up to. Being pregers is just the start.

I swear in every episode thee is a subplot with someone liking someone else but refusing to hang out/date them because of their ruined social image. I realized this while watching this this weekend (my sisters like the show).
Do people really care that much if you hang out with someone who is not as popular as you? Really?

I think Degrassi is a bit different. Likely due to being Canadian.

Different in what way.

A Canadian way, duh.

I recall hearing that is is notable for it's great degree of drama with constant raping and violence and such. The sort of thing that wouldn't likely be on a TV show in the US aimed at teenagers.

Not my sort of thing. I never watched any of those type of shows so I don't really have a proper comparison to make.

Well you know, they have a sort of Canadian way of going about things eh.

Eh?

What's this all aboot?

I believe it did star little Spears, and had to be canceled as a result.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ3vUaB_qy8
I cried.

TJ GOT SHOT!!

...actually, some kid named TJ actually got shot on Halloween this year. Google told me so.

i knew the hairstyle he was referring to immediately, but i would trade five seconds of my life to change that

I have to effing live with that hairstyle though.

I am diseased.

Yes. The early 90's was the worst time for American culture by far. When you think of the stereotypical 80's clothes, you are actually thinking of the early 90's. A little bit spandex, neon colors, impossibly stupid hairstyles, that wierd pinkish glow everything on TV had...that's the early 90's.

That is hell.

We will look back on emo in this fashion by 2010.

Black never goes out of style.

Neon colours do.

Neon is still hip.

Neon still cool! You pay later!

I was never cool.

Were you hot?

Icyhot

I was so hot I responded to a Simpsons reference with a knowing counter-reference that nobody apparently got.

I'm so hot I'd burn up the roof of your mouth so badly that it would be left more fucked up than eating a second bowl of Commodore Crispy.

That is pretty hawtt.

The hair style and guy-liner will. Trust me. Also, being whiny will fall from grace.

I doubt it. Being whiny has been around in different incarnations since the 80's.

Nobody will ever discuss emo ever again. It's not even remotely important enough to be relevant. Plus, when has it not been mocked?

Maybe you just grew up in the Midwest, where everything comes three years later?

Aw, how cute. Desert_donkey has gone from being an annoying troll to being my own little machine elf!

:D

Seriously. The worst of the 80s was settling down by the early nineties, and was finally on its way out by say, 95ish. My early childhood is full of images of aunts wearing neon-colored jackets, poofy hair, and large, brown thick framed glasses, while sucking down Marlboros and Benson and Hedgeses (100s) and long red nails. My dad finally shaved his mustache in early '98 and the mullet now only makes brief returns in between haircuts. I shed my mushroom cut in 4th grade and no longer cuff my jeans, and have not worn a backwards cap with a tuft of hair sticking out of the adjustable band since probably 1996.

Absolutely. The whole development of American Culture after the 50s fits in pretty well into an analogy -- a high school party.

See, the 50's are the beginning of the party. A lot of the booze hasn't gotten there yet, basically everything there is the host kid's dad's six-pack until somebody shows up with a couple 24 packs or a keg. Everybody who has arrived is still a bit frustrated and tired after their long days at school earlier (World War 2, as the analogy goes). The lack of alcohol is similar to the drug market of the 50's. Cocaine is still available as a stimulant legally, but it isn't nearly as widely used as it is today. Pot is not very common, particularly among young people -- partially due to the fact that in the 50's its quality was terrible. The party is still nice, neat, and tidy. Nobody has knocked over any pictures or barfed on any rugs.

Well, the 60s are the introduction of some of the beer. Some dude has just rolled up in a chevy with 2 cases and now everybody can get started. The music comes on, and everybody is finally starting to have a lot of fun. The bringing of the booze is obviously the introduction of more and more widespread drug use, which at this time is still very rarely regulated. The music industry in the 60s is really starting to explode, and the high numbers of younger people are really starting to cause the demand for new and different music to rise. Unfortunately, as more and more people show up to the party, everyone starts getting less comfortable. Somebody breaks a picture frame or something, and the host gets more than a little pissed (Vietnam).

Well, more people show up, and the keg is finally here. It's the 70's. Now there's more beer than people know what to do with. Everybody had to relish their beer when there wasn't much -- but now it is readily available. People are getting trashed, it is starting to get messy. With everybody drunk, things are starting to get ugly. Maybe a fight or two (the Tet offensive?) has broken out and shit is going down. The beer abundance is the sudden rush in the drug market. The Controlled Substance Act has just passed, and the forbidden fruit is the sweetest. Marijuana is starting to boom in America and cocaine use is at its highest to date. Things (fashion) are starting to get really messy. It is all about being comfortable, because with the spills and messes in the increasingly crowded party it is getting harder and harder to stay content.

The 80's are the messy shit. At this point, people are fucking trashed. There's still more beer, but nobody needs it. Everybody is already good and fucked up. Those fighting assholes got kicked out of the party, so at least thats over, but a couple of douchebags are fighting over a chick outside (Iran-Iraq war) and it could get ugly soon. At this point, things (fashion) are just going crazy in the party. People are so wrecked they don't even care what they look like. Coke is fucking everywhere.

The early 90's...well, that's the massive fucking hangover after the party. Everybody just woke up in their 80's clothes, and even though they are filthy and look like idiots, nobody feels good enough to change yet. Fucking hangover.

2000-2008, your parents found out and you're grounded until after we all find out if the 2012 prophecy is true or not.

Seriously, the '10s have to be better than this.

I hope you are not thinking of turning this into a term paper. Allow me to be a bit pedantic, please?
The only 'substance' that was not illegal in the 60's was LSD before around 1966 or so, when it got so out of hand in S.F. and L.A.
Beatniks, and regular-looking dudes in the 50's used to go across the border to Mexico and bring back pot.
The Controlled Substance Act just put more teeth into the Federal and State agencies cooperating, etc.
You could go to jail for life in Texas for possession.
The weird thing was the laws would get real tight and restrictive when some political asshole needed a crusade, and then loosen way up later on.

This Has Been Walter Cronkite with You Were There

Unless I'm mistaken and thinking of the wrong act didn't the CSA also make it significantly easier to declare a drug illegal merely by moving it's position up a schedule or two? Before then you had to restrict them individually, but now all you have to do is adjust their position on the list.

This is why I hate analogies.

You know what analogies remind me of?

Analogies.

The irony just punctured my spleen. Thanks.

I have a bad case of aibohphobia right now.

You diss my dog etc etc

Oh wait. Fuck you.

Because it brings up relevant discussions of actual events and you might learn something about the history of American drug policy?

That totally blows.

On the other hand, what is your policy on anal orgies?

I know about the history of drug policy, etc, and analogies are good a lot of the time, but most of the time they are unnecessary and people make too much of a deal about them, and try to foolow them too much. I am talking about really involved ones, though.

This is why I'm looking forward to the end of American cultural dominance. Youse guys have been a vomity pop-culture headache for decades now.

It's not so much the early 90s as it was the late 80s. It just carried over a bit. Sort of like how the early 80s also had a lot of late 70s carryover.

This, however, was distinctively early 90s and not at all 80s. HyperColor was clearly influenced by the late 80s neon craze, but it was definitely early 90s.

I never hear people talk about those shirt with the holograms on them though. I remember those from elementary and middle school.

Ugh, I hated those damn shirts.

I fully disagree. The early 90's were awesome for the following reasons:

-People ending their sarcastic comments with "...NOT!"
-MTV still playing music videos, some of them actually good.
-Beavis & Butthead
-Kids still listening to loud and angry music that could actually scare their parents, rather than cutesy tongue-in-cheek bullshit.

Granted, I only caught the tail end, but still.

not, ot ...syke!

I don't know. I caught the full force of the early '90s and I remember it as a time of great horror. It was one of those weird points in history during which almost everything sucked. It might have had to do with the fact that at that time I was changing from a cute little boy into a smelly ogre. But the pop music was exceptionally bad, too. And fashion was at an all time low.

You needed to be listening to something other than pop music....early 90s has some great music.
Looking back it was a great time to not be part of the popular crowd, you had options. Of course at the time we thought it sucked.

Ever notice that 'rock' stations still play a ton of songs from the 90s? There is a reason for that.
Not to mention some of the most influential rap albums of all time came out around that time too.

You missed out if you were just listening to pop.

Late 80s were good too, I can't get enough of Faith No More's The Real Thing and it came out in 89.

That has been true at every time since the 1960s. That was the last time that pop was acceptable and relevant. I mean, OK, pop in the 80s was either terrible or great depending on your degree of nostalgia and having to suffer through it as an adult, but the alternative scene at that time was just amazing. It still hasn't received quite enough recognition.

Quote:

You missed out if you were just listening to pop.

Dude, I was, like, twelve. Punk rock hadn't changed my life yet.

But for what it's worth, I now realize that there were some good things happening then. Pavement and A Tribe Called Quest are the first things that spring to mind. But that didn't do me much good as a preteen in the rural Midwest. I couldn't exactly run down to the old general store and pick up a copy of Low End Theory.

Well yea, pop was always terrible. What I meant was that the heavy music, the stuff that the deviant degenerate kids listened to was Metallica and Suicidal Tendencies. That was shortly before everything went to shit with nu-metal in the mid-90's, and now that place in music is occupied by crap like Avenged Sevenfold and Atreyu.

Aren't the Beatels considered pop.
Also rock too. It depends what song, but their poppy songs are really good.

That's different.

How so?

Different era of pop. It meant something else back then.

So pop was not always terrible.

As I stated the 60s were the last time that pop was still relevant. In part the Beatles changed that. They worked greater complexity into pop (and also McCartney's crass commercialism) until it wasn't really a genre that could produce much of anything. This also, of course, coincided with the greater development of rock music and its movement away from pop leaving pop a withered shell consisting largely of cheap, bland, crap.

The 80s knew how to bring some decent pop, but again, that depends on perspective. I'd say it was the last time that pop music was tolerable, but there was also a lot of really awful crap.

Nowadays it all seems to be either teeny-bopper or hip-hop influenced and pure pop veins have been long mined out. We passed Peak Pop decades ago and it's never coming back.

oh i do not rock metallica, no way.

oh man, you should check out 'Rhapsody' from italy

Do you mean Power of the Dragonflame? Or the more uplifting Dawn of Victory? Perhaps the darker material on Rain of a Thousand Flames? I could never get into their newer stuff after they changed their name to Rhapsody of Fire, but maybe I have not tried enough.

I AM SUPREME METAL NERD ON ASSETBAR HOW DARE YOU THINK I HAVE NOT HEARD OF RHAPSODY

My favorite songs are "Agony is My Name" and "Dargor, Shadowlord of the Black Mountain". For some reason, if you search for them on YouTube, you get a bunch of Naruto AMV's, which makes me kind of sad.

I'm not that familiar with the names of the albums, as they were just stored in one big folder together, and the only CDs I own are SoEL parts 1&2 ... for the latter i'm not sure what I liked more, Christopher Lee's guest appearance as the wizard king, or that rock your balls off flute shred from track 9

Agreed. We used to have things like Iron Maiden where the vocalist actually knew how to sing really damn well not just growl into an effects pedal. Where heavy metal also knew how to soar and deliver some amazing virtuosity not just a series of chugging riffs.

Modern metal has fallen to the degree that Metallica is complete crap and Dave Mustaine is a born-again Christian. More people think and care about pop-punk than actual punk.

I really liked the Misfits in high school.

My friends and I had a greeting. "Slayer."

We also had our own way of saying goodbye.

1- "Danzig Rules."
2- "Maiden Forever!"

also

1- "Peace Sells."
2- "But who's buying?"

It's still true.

I feel like I got the best part of the 90s. I was in junior high from 1993 through 1996, and I was in high school from 1997 through 2000.

Being thirteen (plus sign) listening to The Real McCoy, Stone Temple Pilots, and Tupac Shakur in one sitting (equals sign) the best years of my life.

I'm a year older than you and I would never have included any of those bands in something I would describe as the best years of my life.

If anything I'm only more recently realizing how I missed out on Pavement, Mission of Burma, Failure, Hum, Dinosaur Jr. and so many, many other great bands. The terrible modern scene is just an excuse to learn more about the greatness of the past.

I do not appreciate any of those bands now. (I mean, I might keep an STP song on the radio, if there's nothing else on, but they're not at the tippity top of my list.)

It's the fact that they're all so different from each other and still all so awkward that makes me happy to look back upon it.

Because it was just so goddamn ridiculous.

Eh, I often don't appreciate those sorts of things if they're really popular at the time. It takes a while for me to be able to enjoy them and see them outside of the media saturation. It's not some sort of "I can't like that because it's popular" so much as it's just so omnipresent that I tune it out and don't really give it a chance.

I only bought "Ten" last year. Oddly, after many years of wondering why the hell I did so only a few years ago I discovered that Soul Asylum, in particular Grave Dancer's Union, actually was pretty good. I guess I just assumed that since I bought it when it came out and I was a lot younger then that I just didn't have any ability to judge that it sucked. I was wrong it appears. It's not great, but it's still better than I gave myself credit for.

I have actually listened to Ten for periods of up to 72 hours. I think I'm abnormal.

You aren't normal, but that is what makes you interesting.

No. Ten is one of the better albums of life, in my opinion.

I could probably listen to Porch on repeat for at least the rest of today.

Agreed. I have listened to better albums than Ten, a great many, in fact, but it still remains one of my favorites. There is no replacement for the time in my teens spent in my basement bedroom, reading The Stand and The Dark Tower and listening to Ten and Dark Side of the Moon. Music only be that formative for a little while in your life.

I had a girlfriend who loved PJ so much it made me kind of like Ten. Now I still do. But probably because I still kind of want said ex-girlfriend. The day I stop likin' it will be the day I put out that light. Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo (in the style of Eddie Vedder).

I should not have brought up Pearl Jam. I forgot about the level of obsession that fans can bring to the table there.

Hey, I like Pearl Jam! I prefer Vitalogy, though. Corduroy is a song of such concentrated brilliance that it scorches retinae at 500 feet.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Pearl Jam, just that they have fans that tend to become very obsessed fans. Nothing is wrong with that, but it becomes a bit of an issue at times.

Beavis and Butthead was terrible. Now, Aeon Flux.... Liquid Television, aside from B&B was generally, well, it wasn't great, but it had flashes of brilliance that made it great enough.

Damn! I forgot all about Liquid Television! I thought that was the coolest shit in the world back then! But no, never B&B. I still can't understand what people see in Mike Judge's animated work.

Even though I am out of lames, I am going to keep clicking on the lame button until either I magically get more or I pass out and can no longer see your ridiculous opinions about Beavis & Butthead.

Thankfully I still had some lames left. Your incorrect opinion that Beavis and Butthead was even remotely tolerable will soon be removed.

[IMGS OFF]

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