does ray smuckles seriously only sleep on a twin? That's a bit of a let down.

Ray has many beds.

I always sort of just assumed he'd have a size beyond king. A size simply named "Ray"

The fact that I actually know a skinny-ass, dry-haired girl named Summer is terrifying and hilarious.

That is something she would definitely do...also smoking the wrong end of a cigarette.

"I assume you light the color-coded end, right?"

i'm sure i've mentioned this before but, my firm belief is that he sleeps on a twin so that if there is a hotty next to him, she has to get out or get busy...

This is my strategy also. It has nothing to do with the fact that the indented space in my tiny room only allows for a twin bed, or that I cannot afford a larger one.

I'm 6'2" and I sleep on a full, even at a near-anorexic level I take up more than a twin bed by myself.
My strategy is that if you have enough space for yourself and a hottie, you need more hotties, not less space.

you have to cherish ray's sleeping face.

Ray's arm is hell of skinny. (Damn, that should not worry me so much.) Have the kebab, Ray, get some meat back on them bones.

Assetbar suggestion: have pop-ups asking "Have you had plenty of sleep?" "Are you intoxicated?" before letting a user post.

"Don't chew that pen you dont know where its been"

"when are you going to start dinner its almost 8 o'clock"

"your opinions really aren't that important"

"It's 11pm! What time do you- you stink of bourbon!"

cut to boody marys at noon

Eggs B and a Bloody, dogg.

Actually that's how I started my day today.

I am at a gas station

Ray sleeps with his shades on. What a star.

Sleeps with em on or forgets to take them off before collapsing onto his bed?

I had an experience similar to Ray once, when I woke up in the morning. Luckily "THERE WAS NO LADY PE TEACHER THERE".

Ray doesn't remember emailing Téodor a link to a "Chicks with Dicks" website at 4 am.

The dude is connecting the dots so we dont have to. Applause.

I woke up one time and thought I was blind. Turned out it was just 5am and I was facing a wall.

I once woke up convinced that I was still dreaming, and went through the day doing ridiculous things and fearing no consequences.

I once woke up with a spoon in my mouth, a bowl of cereal in my hand, Skinemax on the tv, and my parents screaming at me.

one time i had a nosebleed during my drunken sleep and must've been lying on my back and when i woke up, padded into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, i thought my eye had fallen out and i actually screamed. not my proudest moment

It's 1 am and I can't stop giggling at this.

(Germanely: My mother does not know that Achewood exists; it follows that she does not know I read it when I'm alone in my room in the wee smalls. My mother is developing the opinion that I am mad.)

I love that shish kebabs are only delicious at appropriate times, and are otherwise gross. Also, he can't even allow himself a decent amount of toast. That's how early it is.

oh god I can't wait for the beef installment of this!

I woke up to a chick named Summer once. She was not skinny-ass, either.

Let me just tell you, that is the worst of times.

That reference was trying a little too hard to exist, son.

Unless of course he's retarded.

John?!? Is that really you?!?

John why do you hate my teeth they are very pretty.

Some kids hide under their blanket from imaginary monsters. Ray hides under his blanket from imaginary secret shoppers that he may or may not have boned. If I can't see her, she can't spoon me!

It is impossible to spoon someone that can see you.

None before me have echoed an excellent sound effect, and so it the Rule of Acheworld that I must. It is a void to be filled.

PHOOoooooo.

It is the sound of relief, of release, of a head hitting the pillow from which it was jerkily divorced a few seconds earlier. It is today's Best Sound. Come to the podium, PHOOoooooo.

Oh man. That is freaky. I did wake up to a skinny-ass check the other day. Only her name was Frank, not Summer.

I do enjoy the fact that this comic attracts and possibly educates people on how to make a funny comment. That's all we need on here really. Extended funnies. Top work kids.

"California Lunchtime" is when you do a heavy shift of drinking on Friday night and get really hungry at like 3 in the morning. But that's fine, 'cause that's okay.