I did not think I would ever lame an asset when I meant to chubby it, but at last it has become a trespass I have committed.

Forgive me, fielding, for I have sinned against you.

some stairs.

Daaaamn, do you gotta have a special TV for the full-text transcription, or what? Which option is it?!

text-only TVs, obviously.

Do you actually WANT to hear salacious moaning from freaking Meat Loaf?

Not necessarily, but you're kind of a prima donna if you need someone else to do it for you.

Yeah that's the part that doesn't quite make sense... maybe he's supposed to transcribing like just the dialogue or sounds if any. But you're right, not the visuals...

Exactly. Surely the deaf who can see don't need a massive black rectangle full of low res font blocking the shenanigans

There isn't very much dialogue in pornography.

if i had not used up my lame allotment, i would give you a third.

Eh, think more Cheers-era Frasier, when he was a less asinine character than he was on his own show.

I can't agree with rowboat above; I understand the dislike of Kelsey Grammar, the guy is generally a slimey prick in his real life, but he does have a good voice and was at one time able to portray a character and didn't make seem like it was some metaphysical way of sucking his own dick (again, Cheers-era Frasier, and golden-age Simpsons Sideshow Bob).

I personally find it hard to not hear early Frasier talking when I read many of Cornelius' lines. When he's in a good mood, it's way too similar to Frasier's outmoded gentlemanliness. I can't hear Burton's bitter gin-soaked repressed disgust or Gambon's wiley Irish headmaster.

But hey that's me right?

You can and will agree with me, Fineoak!

I'm nothing like you. I'm a Jedi, like my father before me!

All I can see is an Atreides that I want to kill.

Oh, shit. Wait, can I have a do-over?

I'm assuming that's a Dune reference, right? If so, that's kind of odd:

About a month ago, a friend of mine, a few days after witnessing me recite almost every line while watching Star Wars (the real first one...don't ask, it goes back to me watching the movies too many times as a 10 year old), came up to me and made a reference to "the spice mines of Kessel," a line from Return of the Jedi. He was visibly disappointed when I didn't catch it right off the bat, thinking it was a Dune reference (I don't know much about Dune, but it has to do with spice mining or something, right?).

Or maybe Star Wars/Dune quotes are often mixed up, I don't know. My brother was the sci fi geek, I just kind of picked up the residuals.

(Uh, just to make this even longer: I knew you were joking with your comment, of course; still, coincidence piqued my interest. I am drinking Irish whiskey.)

I was just trying to start a chain reaction of nerdy sci-fi references. I imagined that it would grow slowly over the next year, each different poster adding a not-quite-relevant reference from another sci-fi nerd favorite.

It was pretty ambitious.

Also, watch Dune when you can. People love to bag on it but they are wrong, wrong, wrong.

Thank GOD I stopped you in time.

And, yeah, I'm probably not going to watch Dune. In terms of long movies I have yet to watch (and these are ones I own), I've still got things like Heimat, Best of Youth, the Sorrow and the Pity, The Sacrifice...the list goes on and on (and I still haven't bought Berlin Alexanderplatz yet).

message from the future to myself: you have since purchased Berlin Alexanderplatz and still haven't watched any of the other movies mentioned above.

second message:

D I A B E T E S

You know what? I like Frasier. It's a really good show. I own all eleven seasons, and it only sort of bothers me that the producers decided to put it in Seattle and then decided to not try to even know anything about Seattle at all. And David Hyde Pierce is a national treasure.

Eh, Seattle was trendy at the time.

I imagine him sounding a lot like a combination of Kelsey Grammer and Richard Burton.

chubbs for mentioning Wodehouse whilst having a Stephen Fry avatar, spot on chap, spot on.

I would have though Billards would be Mr Bear's style.

There are other Cambridges, and his blog at one point mentioned growing up in Pennsylvania.

He's American, raised by British expatriates. I forget where I read that, one of his blogs I think.

For a full detailing of Cornelius' constant decimation of Ray in pool, read his blog (Cornelius', that is)

[url]http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuad3MvN3]We have photographic evidence[/url].

I love that Corneilus is watching porn and describing it with a beautiful prose.

We all love that.
And we all have legs

We do! Well I can just jump straight on up out of my -

OOOFF!

I wish all my friends would communicate with me via closed captioning on the Spice Channel.

Chubby for petulant-looking Phillipe avatar/disgruntled wish combo.

This strip made me laugh, but then I read the alt text and it just made me really, really sad for Mr. Bear.
Alt text: One imagines it is work he can do from bed, the poor old fellow.

Cornelius is all kinds of awesome

This exists

It's called "Big Sausage Pizza"

It's extremely sexy

I can attest to this. It's not the worst porn you can find (there aren't any E.T. costumes and no one is getting hurt), but it's in that direction. The internet has made me hate porn. I will never forgive it for that.

Oh, people get hurt in it. It's just not the kind of hurt you can clearly see. The kind of hurt that is held inside while shooting, and then unleashed in a sobbing torrent in the dressing rooms.

I imagine the tears are pretty well dried up by the time they cash the check.

The pizza is so unnecessary.

If he's not a Brit, then he's high-church New England, which is much the same thing. Mr Bear is Henry James, who, were he with us today, would certainly be writing the closed captioning for the Spice Channel.

Roast Beef never explained why he had the closed captioning on

I think i would be interested to know more about this

Beef doesn't know how to operate Ray's TV. Maybe he accidentally turned it on.

I love that we think of sober Lyle as something other than "himself"

Sober Lyle sounds more like Mr. Bear than Mr. Bear.

Sober Lyle is creepily attentive to detail. I'm not sure what to make of him.

Pocket pool?

It would be perfect if a girl asked me this mid-rutting.

I want to ask a woman to marry me this way.

Cornelius writes close captions live. I can only assume for the challenge. He even answers the phone while he does it, he's that good.

Cornelius went way up in my estimations after I read this strip.