I agree. Though I've noticed in the assetbario they are a little divisive. Hey people who don't like Friday Facts, how come?

It's because of our lessened reading facilities. Too much boozin'; more pictures please.

Hmmm, I seem to have a little Toddian stutter going on going on.

Hedo, it's from t-t-t-too much j-j-j-jerkin'!

Oh yeah baby... jerk my goat. Make it nice and spicy. I've got the scotch bonnets right here and it feels like time to heat things up.

the second verse of that song i came up with a few comics ago!

I don't find that the format often lends itself very well to humor of the sort that I enjoy. It's a little too... sitcomy in a way. The little otter misunderstands things and acts in an overly childlike manner. Without his interactions with others, however, it becomes a bit cloying to someone who loathes children. The sort of thing where I'm supposed to find it cutely amusing rather than just funny.

Just not my deal.

Onstad has done some good text pieces before, but he's also done some lazy-seeming ones that didn't quite work. A lot of his more recent strips with the heavy reuse of art feels less like a comic as well and may display a greater interest in working purely with text. This isn't new though. Kevin Smith often has the same goddamn problem in his films where he will frequently show little to no regard for cinematography and just have everyone stand around in static medium shots and read his dialogue.

I was looking for the "horsin' around" quote to prove you wrong, but the search function has failed me. Sorry!

"Ray knows how to make this happen."

next thing you know Philippe will be solving problems with the handy application of crisp six-hundo bills

I "clicked the button with my mouse" and "chubbied this comment"

later some fags were blown

Perhaps you were thinking of bumming a fag. It's okay, you can tell us.

later some fags were blown

Twice.

Funnier and doubtless healthier.

Onstad tried to sneak this by us, I see.

I've just found it for the first time.

Is that a young Mario Lopez?

totally.

for as cheesy as it was, i really liked taht show.

and that show, too!

Could be worse. We could have pirates dressing like Screech. Or Mr. Belding.

I think if I were to be kidnapped by pirates, I'd want them to dress like Mr Belding. Classy, but not too class as to suggest they don't know what's what. Pirates gotta worry about these things.

Actually, pirates these days prowl the Somali coast and get shot by Navy Seals. :|

Who would you rather be shot by: SAS/SBS, Navy SEALs (excluding yellow bow-tie and Charlie Sheen variants), Shayetet 13, KSK, or Spetsnaz?

U.S. Marine snipers.

Maybe it would be good if more pirates dressed like Screech. It'd be like a favor to our boys in our fighting forces. Who hasn't wanted to shoot Screech from time to time?

Especially since the actor who played him turned out to be such a vile piece of work.

And this is Mario Lopez showering at the gym

[IMGS OFF]

I can't imagine that Onstad was not thinking of this.

Chubbies.

Oh, you wanted the picture with that in? I thought I'd do the tasteful thing and keep the ass shots out of here, but if you insist....

i am cpnglxynchos. i have fived this comic. it's not like i need to know if you care.

[IMGS OFF]

Stop that.

Does that count as being "pee-tickle" happy?
(PS: Please don't reply to this with your trademark shenanigans, he's still only five.)

i remember when i used to get 'pee-tickle' happy about my birthday.... *sigh*


pu-puff the magic draaagon, lives b...by the se- OH GOD!! THE MEMORIES

I never used to get "pee-tickle" happy. I used to get "fart-tickle" happy.

Did you know Lonis Edison patented a fart-tickle accelerator?

It was awesome.

You'd think that by now they'd sell private-part tickle accelerators at every corner.
Actually they sort of do just that a couple of blocks up.

This strip is from...history!

The sad thing is, A-ha: Whac-On-Me? would probably be better than the game based on Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds. (Not the saddest thing, mind you, just sad.)

I remember when me and a couple friends decided to make a lemonade stand. When we started to run out of lemonade, we just sold the cups we'd been drinking out of, even the one with a little bit of drool from the neighborhood kid who went to the dentist earlier that day. Fact: Lemonade stands are not hygienic.
We made $100!

He's pee-tickle happy, indeed.

Pee-tickle happy is HELL of happy.

All just sittin' there bein' straight

Phillippe's? Phillippe's? Phillippe's? PHILLIPPE'S?

Fuck it.

that is what i told her.

Thank you, Emo Phillips.

No thanks I will not have sex with you sir.

If I was gonna make a deal with the devil, that'd be it.

"Give me a nickel for every time someone says to me..."

Every time you meet a woman you will have the option of either having sex with her or having her open her legs where you will find, nestled in her vagina in the manner of vending machine a crisp $50 bill. If you accept the money you will never be able to have sex with her. If you ever have sex with a lady the money will never be there again.

This is, well, not so much a deal with the devil and it is an interesting curse. I'd be interested to see how it works out.

I would have to let my wife know why I make OBSCENE CASH as a gynecologist.

Wait...with a lady or the lady?

'Cause I don't think I need cash that badly.

Shit was not so cash.

I think "obscene cash" is indeed the proper word for this.

But I suspect that if you were actually a gynecologist it would not be necessary. I am led to believe that they basically make a lot of money for doing things that are strongly related to stuff most of us spent all of middle school trying to do for free.

I work in a hospital.

You do not want the kinda kinda what ends up in hospitals.

Healthy people do not go to hospitals.

entirely too silly.

Two tears in a bucket.

i totally had a pair of bugle boys that were simultaneously so damn cool and so damn awful that they never saw the light of day, lest one be killed with sticks. 'twas these and the zubaz' velcro-attack which did go on full closet-lurk for the better part of 9 of my most tender years.

I have still not heard a good reason why I had to move to lace-up shoes. Velcro is a space-age solution to the problem.

I still wear velcro shoes.
They make them, I wear them.
End of story.

They lose their stickiness over time and stuff gets caught in there, they typically fail to keep shoes as tight as laces do, and finally because laces often provide an additional avenue to add decoration to the shoes. Sheesh, did you never even see Punky Brewster?

Wearing lace-up shoes is like a coded message to the world: "I am intelligent and dexterous enough to be able to lace up my own shoes."

If you wear velcro, people assume that you aren't.

This is why dudes in velcro shoes never get hired for the best jobs, like crooked CEO or Icelandic Elf Detector.

Man, two of my coworkers wear velcro. Damnitall. If I were single, I'd wear fucking velcro and love it. Well, I don't really wear shoes at work, but if I did, they would be easy to get in and out of.

And nobody would think I was dumb or uncoordinated. They would be enchanted with 2 INT and 3 DEX

Where do you work that doesn't require shoes?
Karate Sensei?
Hockey Player?
Sock Model?

Judo and Taekwondo sensei, but that's just for fun. I do math and program. I'm senior enough I can just slackass barefoot and nobody gets to say anything.

Math Professor is entirely a job that does not require shoes. At least, if we're going by the professor I had in college who always appeared incredibly strung-out.

That is because he was actually a meth professor.

Best administrative error ever, anyone?

The best job is clearly as a judge for the Tri-County Blowjob Championship.

The rabbits gently drinking soup have not forgiven Neville Chamberlain; they spend many a languid Sunday afternoon at the public house, exchanging bon mots which unflatteringly compare Tony Blair to a pedantically self-righteous chipmunk over pints of bitter.

Having never read it, this is how I fake-remember Flowers for Algernon.

Totally off. You're thinking of Watership Down.

Damn, that is cold harsh, ragging on my fake-memory.

dog you cant post a friday fun facts on a tuesday. ain't right. onstad - you're a tranny.

I believe you mean "big hot tranny mess".

Nothing is more gentle than a rabbit drinking soup

What about an angel slapping pudding?

How is it that I, viewer of all achewood strips, never saw that one before?? (fived)

You're not a real "viewer of all achewood strips" until you've read them all at least 30 times and can quote minor entries at will. Also anything after season 8 is a travesty.

oh wait i'm getting my fanboyism mixed up. achewood started losing it after 7 years YEAH TAKE THAT BACKDATING CON-STAD

these knives?

Try and buy knives for your phone.

theguitarhero DID I USE ALL CAPS WELL

YES

That strip. It is a gem. As is the discussion.

[IMGS OFF]

This...this comic didn't appear for me until Tuesday the 14th.

What is going on.

More backdating action, looks like this is the new trend.

Not that I"m bitching, I love Friday Facts.

TRex has been time traveling again and messing with stuff

He got mad that we said his comic wasn't a comic so he started fuckin' with us.

"Rabbits gently drinking soup"?
...
I think I just came.

Correct. I wanna come.

Seriously? No one else was going to say it? I had to be the one?

Correct. I wanna--fuck it

"[C]ursory"? And it's even spelled correctly? Glad, that isn't very "street".

So many great phrases. I'm jazzed as the devil about mating with the lads and causing hassles from putting mean pictures of my buns in the newspapers.

Could someone explain the difference between nice pictures of your buns and mean pictures of your buns? I don't want to try the wrong way to get famous.

It's simple: there is no such thing as nice pictures of your buns. Not to Phillipe, anyway.

Philippe* I always do that.

He needs a "Liza with a 'Z'"-style song so we can all remember how to spell his name.

Should have made that "L" upper case. Or I should have never posted that godawful thing to begin with. You make the call.

It will never make me forget how to spell his name so you done good, boy. That'll do, biznart.

Maybe Phillipe intended "mean" in the sense of stingy or paltry. Puts an interesting spin on it.

where I come from "mean" means "sweet" or "awesome" or "radical" etc.

If that's the case than there is nothing wrong with a rad tat. If Philippe dislikes them, he'd called them literally mean I think. And little otters are not wont to antonym-type phrases (bad/ill/sick/phat mean good etc).

I believe you're referring to a "trope," in the irony sense as opposed to metonymy and such and so.

Take that Mrs. Wellman of AP English Literature. All with your "You'll never get anything from this class if you continue to not apply yourself." Take that.

(I'm implying that assetbar is the zenith of my literary term application bravado. That's where this is going.)

Gotta go somewhere. Might as well piss it away.

It is going good places.

Shout out to Mrs. Murray-Wilke, AP Lit and Comp greatest teacher ever what whaaat.

Also, yes. From Wikipedia:

# irony %u2014 creating a trope through implying the opposite of the standard meaning, such as describing a bad situation as "good times."

So it's an ironic trope. SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY.

I am going to use irony %u2014 often, then. It sounds cool. It's like the most current formula of irony.

Oh but you're such a terrific wit.

That hurts, nice-on-water. I only meant it as some gentle ribbing mixed with whimsy! But now I reel at your direct and disproportionate dispensation of derision. In conclusion, I promise no longer to use irony %u2014.

Dude's been getting into juice now. He ain't quite so nice as he once was.

Been hitting the Welche's pretty hard lately.

Have you heard about Cran-Apple?

Lost a cousin to the Cran.

But in real life, YES and it's my favorite juice probably ever.

It's not me talking, it's the MEAN WATER.

Bum-Tats that say Mom, Here Comes a Special Boy, Th' South Shall Rise Again, that sort of thing.

Mean pictures of your buns in the newspaper, mean it.

you make me sick.

i fucking hate you

Whoa, it's gonna be Philippe's birthday? I wonder how old he's gonna turn this time...

phillipe! you miscounted, little guy.

Nearly missed this due to backdating. (Which will make no sense in a few weeks.)

Is it just me, or is that pirate Eddie Van Halen?

Just you.

[IMGS OFF]

Eddie Van Halen has never been lucky enough to hang out topless with Mark-Paul Gosselaar.

[IMGS OFF]

I wish there would be nothing but Friday facts. I wish that every day was Friday, and also my birthday!

I agree with every achewood day being Friday, but not that it should always be Friday Facts. If that were they case, there would be no Fuck you Fridays. Unless Philippe started doing them, which I am of two minds about.

FIG YOU FRIDAY

Dates: Figs in Denial?

neat! Phillipe's birthday is the same as mine! now I'm thinking about my birthday. thanks, P!

With all this hate, mindless BS, I thought I would share something nice. I'm a beautiful black female and my love, a beautiful white man just made love to me for hours upon hours. It was amazing, blissful, I was melting, and he kissed me over and over and told me how much he loved me, and we just came all over each other. I actually feel renewed. And no it isn't something that is going away, we have been with each other for almost four years, and it is still amazing.

STOP focusing on each other's difference, and getting sidetracked with race, color, etc. We are all in this together, man & woman. Spread love, and your world will expand with positivity

Mario Lopez demonstrates his strength by lifting the stool with, not only one, but two arms.

...and the alt text should read: mind if I push that stool in for you?

Somehow, seeing Lopez and Gosselaar side by side like that makes me want to tell Gosselaar to button up his shirt before he gets cold. It does not make me pee-tickle happy.

Phil's gym sounds terrifying.

kinda like Goosebumps #33: The Horror at Camp Jellyjam.

I remember that ooone!

The fact that I share the same birthday as Phillipe is incredible. That's just my opinion though.

I HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS PHILIPPE!!!