He Calls Himself Yojimbo.

He Calls Himself Yojimbo. 03/16/2010 « prev 1st rand curr next »

Look at that guy. He probably takes ten walks a day to see if it's all worth it.

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Is it worth it?

No.

It was never worth it, in the end.

Tacodor should have just torrented Premiere.

Even Councilman 3's got it by now, damn.

And he didn't have to draw circles around his eyes with magic markers so people who know where to look when speaking with him.

Yes.

Is it safe?

C'mon dude. Just reading that makes my teeth hurt.

for those of you thinking of typing it in your address bar, let me give you some advice from my own personal experience:

gopher://gopher.kacw.org is not a website.

The protocol gopher: isn't recognised. There's a patch for it.

firefox does gopher out of the box. holy shit? Firefox does gopher? people still use gopher? W T F?

gopher://gopher.floodgap.com/

bloody hell

Sometimes old nerds get nostalgic.

Never get Robert Downey Junior's cousin to edit your advertisement.

A...alright...

No, seriously. From two men to another man: never ever allow this to ever happen.

Philippe and The Planet:
A Tragedy in Five Acts

Music by Holst.

Mars, bringer of confectionery snacks.

Mercury, bringer of elaborate polishing devices.

Venus, I'm your fire at your desire.

Terra... you're making me firma.

Uranus, you always know where to find it.

Jupiter, it no hurt when you pee?

hymen? psychobilly? Gopher? 3rd rate graphics? weird ass ethinc sounding street names? "NO SYSTEM?" CLICK CLICK TAP TAP???? That Teodor character????

Onstad is trying to capture the essence of fingernails on a chalk board every which way possible. Achewood is L'Ecume Des Jours, with spunk. I get it now. I finally get it.

The use of "hymen" as a verb confuses me. To me the verb would mean "to cover with a thin mucous membrane." But man, that doesn't even make sense in this context.

The purpose of a hymen, ultimately, is to break.

The fellow with the self-applied cognomen of "Yojimbo" who admits to having butchered Mozart's Turkish March seems to be asking Teador not to break his ass.

It seems rather like rhyming slang.
Without the rhyming.

I don't think that hymen has a "purpose."

Don't appendix my stomach, liverbladder.

Hymen is a patent membrane in the vagina from when the two halves fused together.

Or in your case a patient membrane.

Don't pick on gobster -- she is the Philippe of this board

Oh man that was a pro burn

what's a "patent membrane?"

I mean seriously.. you can't come on here with defective terminology like this. you just can't. patent membrane?

Is defective? 3 camels to restore honor!

her patent membrane is pending

lamed for "embarrassing inability to type define:word into google"
I know you don't want to do this man
I know you don't want to embarrass us all with your bad behavior

dude
try this: type "define:patent" into your address bar
you'll see this:
(of a bodily tube or passageway) open; affording free passage; "patent ductus arteriosus"

I think it's his polite-ish way of saying, "Don't be a cunt to me, motherfucker." One could write a thesis on that, but I'll spare you the pain.

But he's not even saying it out loud. Dude needs a spine implant.

truth to meekness

To hymen an ass could be:
1. to make it virginal again
2. to plug it up

It does imply previous penetration as well.

the association of the hymen with virginity is partly a myth. there is wide variation in hymens.

hyman

hyma?

hynomatopoeia?

Was Yojimbo the model for the hull?

Yojimbo was the model for A Fistful of Dollars.

Yes. Yes it was.

Yo, Jimbo

hy, men

Don't you hymen ME, cracka!

a humorous exchange:

a) aw, come on!

b) dont you, "come on" me!

Ah, gopher. How I loved thee, let me count the ways.

This is pretty much how I feel every time I play Mass Effect. I'm like "I want to go down to that planet" and it's like "here's some historical facts: you can't go down to this planet, fuck you".

Then the Xbox explodes and I get yelled at by my parrot who DOES NOT LIKE bananas or crackers but does like steak and potatoes.

You cannot get yelled at by a parrot unless you first yelled at that parrot. I have no sympathy for you.

basic parrot mechanics.

basic parrot

basic

cisab

torrap cisab

.scinahcem torrap cisab

.uoy rof yhtapmys on evah I .torrap taht ta delley tsrif uoy sselnu torrap a yb ta delley teg tonnac uoY

snuggleguns?

I think you should get off her first.

Squaaawwwwkkk!

Yojimbo... I actually have a VHS copy of that movie. crazy movie. Now that I think about it, elements of this strip seem to be inspired by that movie.

Ronda Alla Turca, not to be confused with Blue Rondo a la Turk, but definitely to be confusing when pyschobilly is added.

Oh and hey, why is Philippe still in his little massive man attire if he's still really shined off at Ray?

i figured that despite thinking ray had been an applesauce-type friend, philippe still considers him to be the pinnacle of successful dudes.

also, what would be worse than being beaten at your own game by a five-year-old otter version of yourself?

Truth.

tacodoor and philippe are like the minor threat of useless fine product catalogs.

They are a threat yes...THEY ARE GOING TO BLOW THEN OUT OF THE WATER!

"them"....*shame*

The problem is clear. The wanna-be samurai dude dropped Philippe on Europa by accident. Never piss off the monolith makers. "Philippe is full of stars."

"The little guy's hollow, he goes on forever... and... oh my God... HERE COMES A SPECIAL BOY!"

Wow. You have the most entertaining orgasm groan ever. I'll bet the chicks love it.

Rondo alla Turca was my favorite song in Donkey Conga.

I would pay a reasonable amount of money to hear it rearranged in such a manner, and then have to play a bongo styled peripheral game controller along to the beat.

I prefer Brubeck's Blue Rondo a la Turk. Paul Desmond's Alto break is sweet.

However, he can stick the soprano up Kenny G's ass (only Coltrane can make it sound decent).

I haven't been able to find a decent version of the song. The best I've found is performed by Radio-Sinfonieorchester Warschau (seriously) in A major.

Though, chubby for making me read your post in a Groucho Marx voice/style.

Taco taco taco Burrito
Taco taco taco Burrito
Taco taco taco%uFEFF Burrito
Burrito Burrito Burrito

Don't compound meter my ass.

I always do shit like this to teach people weird rhythms. Fifty percent of the time, it works every time.

Most convincing video editor ever.

Akira Kurosawa is a fantastic director.
I just needed to get this information out there, so that there would be no doubt.

Every Tuesday night this month on TCM.

What are you serious?
HELL TO THE YES REDBEARD IS TONIGHT AND THE SCHEDULE FOR PST IS AT A REASONABLE HOUR
For informing me of this development: a Chubby. Tonight I will dance, like a drunken angel.

Redbeard was fucking great. But the greatest movie in the history of the universe is Kagemushu.

And at night after the dancing, there is, of course, wonderful Dreams.

Like Kurosawa, I make mad films.

'Kay, I don't make films.

Philippe is being coached into a very douchie adulthood. Theodore is just being a dick. The only person I feel for here is samurai dude.

awwww! look at you being all compassionate!

psychobilly for the win!

Video geeks, am I right?

Teodor don't you lecture him cracker http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08302005

Teodor died last episode.

RIP Teodor

this is why a manned mission to Jupiter is considered impossible.

Because they can't fake the video?

if Philippe can't make it there, no one can.

sidenote: my enjoyment of Achewood has been magnified ever since I began pronouncing "Philippe" as "Fee-LEE-Pay".

that wasn't the most accurate approximation but damned if I'm gonna mess around with upside-down vowels and the everpresent "schwa" sign.

I think since Ultra Peanut's phonetic rendering all those years ago of Philippe as "Feereep," the pronunciation is officially Phi-leep. So.

that crossed my mind, but I've never been one to pick canon above a badass name like "Fee-LEE-Pay". think of me like a bad fanfiction author who clings to his character interpretations even as they're shot down by the official sources.

just, more affable, and with nicer shades.

I'm anorak-level obsessive with canon of anything. I even use the word anorak because I'm in Britain and that's the appropriate word for this place. That's how canon I am >B]

It's "Dah-VEE-day".

What is GOING ON.

he looks like a yojimbo, yeah

one who has stolen some eyeliner.

for that guy, ream is too good a word

"Don't hymen my ass" is my new catchphrase.

Tacky Television Technicion Ticks-off Teodore

Terdore ozikju woz coming through on his promise to phillop when he encountered his first problem the man whom he hired to make the television spot in the first place!

when I asked the ethnic I.T. (un)professional he had these words to say:

"I sent that DUDE rondo alla turca rearranged for psychobilly and yet he hymen's my ass still. unbelievable"

the story was coming together. was teordre the one out of line? i reinterviewed him to be sure.

Therdel: "I asked him to move phill closered to the planet. that it would make him more trustworthy"

Me: "and then what happened"

Thronda: "the image disappeared when he tried to move it then then the system had a heart attack and we had to load up our backup and then NOT move phill closer to the planet"

It all made sense now. the story has come together.

despite stereotypes indians are no good at computers

I feel like the distance between this post and any other post represents the distance between you and something that makes some goddamn sense.

Therdel and Thronda grasp each others' hands as they plunge over the cliff.

beautiful satire of indian journalism, or bizarre post? CHUBBIED EITHER WAY

Oh, Philippe! Jupiter is bad enough, but please don't touch Uranus.

What editing system is this supposed to be?

Who fucked assetbar in the nose

Who did it

That video editor man resembles a genie. I wonder if he got someone to wish for his freedom and now he doesn't know what to do with his time, so he walks. Lately he bought a video editing rig so he could "earn" it.

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