very astute, the dude's all about practicality.

The best, cheapest 2 beers around. Where are you from that you can purchase the riddling nectar referred to as Lion's Head?

LION HEAD!

I'm sorry, but it is never time for either of those.

Chubby for Lionshead. I live about a minute away from the brewery. I've spent many drunken nights staring at a rebus on the cap of a Lionshead bottle, trying to figure out what in the hell that little grainy thing is representing. A set of scissors? Or maybe oars?? Followed by the word elf? Dear. God. I. Am. Not. A Religious. (Wo)Man. But. Please. Help. Me. See. The. Connection. Here.

The alt-text pushed the strip up.

Raymond Smuckles enters: "Got a minute to give me notes on my latest manuscript?"

It's gold. Right there. Set-up and punch-line all in one. Everything else is a glorious bonus.

yeah, that was the first out loud laugh. the second one was connie in the third pannel.

How many romance novels has he written now?

Asherdan... Shut the fvck up. Permanently.

While I agree with your sentiment, why don't you just use the u instead of a v? Why you got to do a thing?

Many times the providence of my life has rested upon the good graces of the well-regarded mailman.

One time, the providence of a lot of lives rested upon the good graces of a not-so-well-regarded mailman in Edmond, Ok., who, upon receiving a pink slip, then went postal on them, which subsequently gave rise to the phrase "going postal".
There was no rain, nor hail, nor sleet that day.
This was about a mile from where I was working in those days.

Why are mailmen so full of hate?

I've never met one like that, frankly. Only the smiling ones.
I think it's the ones locked up inside all day with thousands of letters full of other people's thoughts.

Oh man that is terrible but highly amusing. I wonder why Onstad hasn't fully written up one of his numerous romance novel ideas for the shop yet. I kind of would have liked to of seen the rest of the romance novel Ray made for Beef and Molly.

Considering how far off track he got writing Beef's "J-Boy" story, I'm guessing he has some sort of nagging force in the back of his head that prevents him from actually making his characters do anything remotely romantic.

I couldn't help but draw comparisons with that story and this comic.
Mostly the "it was true" phrases that were repeated.

J-Boy had no sense of eggs.

he had it made, he didn't write it.. this seems to be a confusion

Where are you getting this idea?

In the comic in question he says he 'commissioned' it. This is when you pay somebody else to create an artistic work for you.

Maybe I'm missing something...
I don't see the word "commissioned" anywhere in this comic.

Oh, now I get it, you guys are talking about that other romance novel Ray had made for Beef and Molly.
Pardon my temporary lack of astuteness.

I will pardon it on account of your fantastic Beartato avatar.

I refuse to live in a world where simply taking something and declaring it mine isn't enough. Nice try, Ray.

Oh man I love it

All with the sidebars and the like, all in large-print, about the size of a math textbook...

But is it illustrated? I'd think yes, but this could raise concerns.

To all you "lame" voters:
"C'mon, don't!"

I'd love to see a compilation of romantic short stories written by all the characters. Nice Pete, Phillipe and Roast Beef would be exceptionally funny.

Nice Pete would be an awesome choice. Would it be set in Prison? Or Camp Crystal Lake? would it be about a man or a woman? Or just two men? Or a man and his love for his shank. So many possibilities there!

The probability that something you have belongs to you is high.

but if you pose and give her the thumbs up at the same time it will...
please see the Fonz for an example of this.

oh happy days, what have you not taught us?

funnily enough, on Wikipedia in Simple English it says [needs proving]

wait, that's not funny. That's not funny at all.

"Needs proving" may contain fewer letters but is actually more vague than "citation needed" (and also doesn't necessarily mean the same thing).

Finally an achewood I can send to the rest of my Economics major grad students. Word Stad!

"Roger had a pen!"

Oh, how I laughed.

What surprises me most is Ray wrote all that on his own. Not bad considering Ray's previous attempts at literature.

it's missing the fun of Ray's previous work though

Brilliant! Does Onstad realize how many Achewood fans are going to propose with a pen on their person since reading this?

//Tucks his Cross into shirt pocket...

Achewood readers have no shades of grey. They either mark every comment as spam or spam the hell out the place when the ability to 'mark as spam' is disabled.

What a great day for the internet.

So that's what that was about.

No, I don't think you're a douchebag. The idea appears to have been effective, at least. And, anyway, knowing that the wave of mark-as-spam abuse was an attempt to call attention to a problem rather than people being assholes for the sheer hell of it makes me a lot more optimistic about the community in general.

(Maybe using more orthodox methods to contact Chris or the AssetBar folks would also have been effective, but -- all's well that ends well, I suppose.)

You are making the assumption that his little 'social experiment' was what he is claiming it was, and not someone just being an asshole in general. Regardless, he has earned a permanent place in my "ignore user" area. He can back-pedal all he likes and create ideas retroactively to explain his actions, but you don't kill people to get laws passed making murder illegal.

Hmm. On the whole, you're right -- if he's just coming up with an excuse after the fact, he's a jerk.

(Similarly, I've sort of given him the benefit of the doubt in that I'm assuming he or others attempted to bring attention to the problem in a non-obnoxious way first. If his initial reaction to the problem was to flag-bomb the fuck out of the comments thread -- yeah, that would be lame.)

But I don't think the murder parallel works. Killing someone causes permanent damage. Exploiting the mark-as-spam flaw didn't. The flagged messages have been unflagged, and the system was fixed. No permanent harm done; everyone wins. In the meantime, we were annoyed -- but if it hadn't been fixed, it would have proven annoying eventually anyway.

I suppose I'm also inclined to be forgiving just because it's nice to see everything working again.

Jesus, if you're going to be a jackass at least do it properly.

i've seen a large number of fake, random accounts generated lately which i think has more to do with it.

It was true that his shoes didn't fit. I laughed. This was also true.

Also, on the alt text: I fear for the world when the couple spawns a child.

I just don't know any "well-regarded mailman." What can I do?

You can't trust mailmen...they shoot people

A postal clerk led the revolution which overthrew the Qing dynasty of China. Modern mailmen ain't got shot in comparison. Unloading on a petting zoo with a flamethrower? Puh-leeze. Go change the political landscape of the world, then we'll talk.

it was going to get a three until the line about struggling with the concept of private property. the score went up.

what the heck is a "discount restaurant"?
Is that like Eat n' Park or what?

i had to hit "apple" R twice to get it working. Guess who's on my ignorelist now?? Thanks for that.

Cheney posts on here? What is his favorite achewood strip? I'm betting it's notorious lincoln.

I think his favorite is where it discusses people beating George W up for cash.

So, when I put someone on my ignore list, does it also ignore all of the Lames and Spams that they've given to other members' comments? Or does it just hide their messages? I like the option of hiding comments that get more than 3 or 4 lames, but that doesn't work if the bad actors are still able to influence what I see.

Thanks!

Oh this feels so good.

Thats what she said.
to my sister.

I coulda stood more idiot-Ray stuff, too bad

yeah I was looking forward to more drama around this...like a Flowers For Algernon in reverse...

You might have had a good point, but acerbic commentary works only if you have a command of the English language. "Chris new better"? "Who buy's this shit"? Learn to spell!

Yeah, okay, I was being mean. I must say, I like the expression "play the turd," though. "I'm not a turd, but I play one on TV!"

this is really one of the best.
instant classic.

Sorry, didn't mean to lame that.

my favorite part is the word "actual".

I enjoy the "Let's Talk About" sections of the text

Please publish this book!

the corresponding porno video is "Like Oral People"

What if a horse takes it?

Then you must enlist a well-regarded mailman to do battle with said horse and retrieve your property.

is it bad that roger and debbie are my parents' names

I five'd this for "It was true."

I fived this strip for the entirety of that piece of novel.

I would pay 29.95 for that novel.

That first sentence is strangely heartwarming. No idea why.